I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson 1x5

Directed by

Patti Harrison as Tracy • Rhys Coiro as Billy • Artie O'Daly as Alan

A hot dog-shaped car crash. A co-worker latches on to an expression. Music studio riffing goes awry. An excuse for tardiness spirals out of control

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. - Is everyone okay? - What happened? Did anyone see?

2. Someone drove a hot-dog-shaped car through the window!

3. The driver's gone.

4. Somebody call the cops. We need to find that driver.

5. They could have killed someone.

6. Whose car is this?

7. Yeah, come on! Whoever did this, just confess.

8. We promise we won't be mad.

9. What?

10. We'll close our eyes,

11. just take your car and get out of here.

12. Sir, that's clearly your car.

13. Wrong!

14. - Someone call the police! - Yeah, that's one idea.

15. Or we could work as a team,

16. find out whoever did this, and punish him ourselves.

17. Maybe take his bare butt out of his costume and spank him.

18. Maybe you could do it, sir.

19. Not gonna happen.

20. - Okay, you. - No.

21. Well, one of us is gonna have to do it.

22. No one's getting spanked.

23. You know what's driving me nuts?

24. It could literally be any one of us. Ooh-ooh!

25. No, it couldn't. You're dressed like a hot dog.

26. So is that guy.

27. Oh, no.

28. Donald might look like a hot dog,

29. but you're wearing an actual hot-dog costume.

30. You know, I don't have to sit here and be insulted like this.

31. I'm just gonna take as many suits as I can grab,

32. get in that random hot-dog car...

33. and drive back to Wiener Hall.

34. - Oh, my God. What happened here? - Yeah.

35. We're all trying to find the guy who did this

36. - and give him a spanking. - It's obviously this guy, right?

37. - Yes. - I have a name.

38. What's your name?

39. - Perfect.

40. We've been sitting here talking all day,

41. and you all never bothered to learn my name.

42. We're so... buried in our phones.

43. Instead of giving someone a real smile...

44. we send an emoji.

45. I mean, we don't even...

46. look at porn on our computer anymore.

47. We look at it on our phone?

48. Pornhub, Xtube...

49. I know these names better than I know my own grandmother's.

50. YouPorn,

51. XXN,

52. RedTube...

53. panty jobs, homegrown Simpsons stuff.

54. All great, but I ask you this.

55. If I was a big old guy with a big burly white beard...

56. would you still be yelling at me?

57. Or would you be spanking my bare butt, balls and back?

58. Think about that for one second.

59. I guess if nobody wants this car,

60. I'll take it.

61. - Let's get him. - Yeah, right, you piece of dog shit!

62. - Stop! Hey, you! - You're fucking dog shit!

63. - Hey, what's up, dude? - Hey, what's good, man?

64. - How are you? - I'm good.

65. Oh, my God.

66. Is that Caleb Went?

67. Yeah, it's kind of nuts, right?

68. He and Dane are buddies.

69. - Dane's friends with Caleb Went? - Mm-hm.

70. Oh, my...

71. Okay!

72. Dude, I am such a big fan of his Angels and Archways clothing.

73. My belt right now, it's a studded leather belt

74. that's from Angels and Archways.

75. Okay, chill out, dude.

76. I'm chill. I'm just, like, such a huge fan of his music and his acting.

77. - He's just a dude. - I just...

78. - hope I don't say or do anything stupid. - You'll be fine.

79. - You're a grown man. - I know, but—

80. You'll be fine.

81. Tim, are you all right?

82. Are you choking?

83. - If you're choking, let me know.

84. I'm gonna hit you with the Hei—

85. No, what the fuck are you doing? This is Caleb fucking Went. Just sit down.

86. You're gonna die because you're too embarrassed

87. to choke in front of Caleb Went?

88. - Unbelievable. - Poppers are here. Who wants one?

89. Poppers! Yo!

90. I could save your life right now. Don't eat... You can't eat that.

91. - Can you breathe right now? - Chill. Oh, you the man, dude.

92. - You're... about to die!

93. - Tim... Hey, stop.

94. It doesn't stink, it's regular water.

95. Something about it stinks.

96. Let's get a toast going.

97. - Yeah. - Yes, yes.

98. Caleb...

99. - to you and yours. - Thank you.

100. I propose a toast.

101. To friends.

102. And friendship in a... In a tradition... In a tradition.

103. Cheers!

104. - I'm calling 911. - Put your fucking phone away!

105. - I'm with my friend. He's choking. - This guy's on the phone.

106. The Pig in the Blanket.

107. Yeah, okay. Great. Thank you.

108. They're coming.

109. That doesn't stink, you're choking to death.

110. Oh, it stinks.

111. - Tim...

112. What the heck? What the hell's going on out there?

113. What the hell is that that's going on out there?

114. What the hell is that that's going on out there?

115. What the... I got to check this out to make sure that nobody hit my car,

116. the Ferrari.

117. - Come on.

118. Whoa, is this the new copier?

119. It sure is, Dennis. They installed it this morning.

120. Can't believe Corporate actually listened to our request.

121. Yep, I guess Christmas came early this year.

122. This thing rules. It collates, staples pages.

123. - No more stapling by hand. - Yeah, Santa should have wrapped it.

124. - What? - The printer.

125. Santa should have wrapped it when he gave it early.

126. Oh...

127. This is gonna make our lives so much easier.

128. I know. This is so much nicer than the old copier.

129. Yeah, I know.

130. And Santa and all his elves must have worked so hard on it,

131. and then they gave it to us early.

132. It's a very nice printer, Tracy.

133. Just make sure no one copies their rear end.

134. Oh, that naughty old elf

135. must be one mean bastard to give us this so early.

136. - What? - Did I stutter, Megan?

137. - Santa Claus— - Okay, it looks like the printer

138. has gotten everyone a little too excited.

139. Of course it did.

140. Santa himself brought this here early,

141. with Rudolph,

142. and now it's causing a fight.

143. - It was just an expression. - I know that.

144. I'm not stupid. I'm smarter than you!

145. Everyone just go back to work.

146. Are we even gonna get anything now?

147. - What? - 'Cause I didn't ask for that.

148. Does that count as what I get for Christmas as my gift?

149. Steve makes one Christmas joke,

150. and you all shit yourselves laughing.

151. It's the talk of the office?

152. But I make hundreds...

153. of on par, if not better,

154. and everyone ices me?

155. I'm not popular at all!

156. Whoa, looks like Christmas came early.

157. Santa brought it early!

158. I guess he did. Good one.

159. We're sorry. Gospel records ain't selling no more.

160. It's originals the kids want.

161. The don't want to hear songs they can hear in church.

162. Sir, it's not a gospel song, it's a new arrangement.

163. It's not about the arrangement, kid.

164. It's just... not new.

165. Sorry.

166. Thank you for coming in.

167. It's originals you want?

168. Follow my lead in G.

169. Exactly.

170. Yes!

171. What the hell was that, man? I had a whole song wrote.

172. What? I honestly thought we were just making that up.

173. What are you talking about? They were interested

174. till you started talking about all that skeleton stuff.

175. Are you kidding me?

176. The guy asked for something spooky.

177. - No, he didn't. - Yeah, he did. He said,

178. "Gospel's not selling. Give me something spooky."

179. You talked about how their bones were money, like, four times.

180. Yeah, that's 'cause I had forgot whether I'd said it or not.

181. All right, sir, look,

182. we know our song's good.

183. We got a deal or not?

184. Well, we were a little more interested in the parts Billy was singing.

185. Billy as in me, or Billy as in him?

186. Your name's Billy too?

187. No, that's why I'm so fucking confused.

188. I meant that Billy.

189. Parents' night out. I can't wait to see everyone here.

190. Yeah. Especially Barry.

191. We don't hang out as much anymore, but I really like him.

192. Hey, we're a little late.

193. If anyone asks, let's just say the babysitter was late.

194. - Oh, that's a great idea. - Yeah.

195. Hi, everyone. Sorry we're late.

196. Yeah, fucking babysitter.

197. Absolutely fucked us.

198. I fucking hate her. Such an idiot.

199. It wasn't that bad.

200. I hope she had a good excuse.

201. She did, yeah.

202. - Alan. - Oh, sorry.

203. Yeah. Yeah, she did. Yeah, it was just... It was, like, a hit-and-run.

204. Oh, my God.

205. Yeah.

206. Should we call the cops?

207. Yeah, no, we did, but it's okay,

208. 'cause the cops said that, like, the people she hit

209. are just kind of like nothing, so it's fine.

210. What do you mean, the people were just kind of nothing?

211. They're just, like, not important, like, they don't matter.

212. Like, there's, like, no records of 'em.

213. So, like, they're homeless?

214. No, they're just, like, nothing.

215. Like, they're not even supposed to be around in the area.

216. Bottom line is, no one's gonna get in trouble,

217. nobody should feel sad at all.

218. The cops were just like, "Oh, yeah, this is fine.

219. Don't worry about it at all."

220. The cops aren't even gonna, like, follow up on it

221. because, like, the people are, like, already dead.

222. Oh, my God, they're dead?

223. Yeah. Yeah, they're dead.

224. Barry, can I talk to you for a second?

225. Sure.

226. If you keep talking about the hit-and-run, I'm gonna fucking kill you.

227. A hit-and-run is a felony.

228. It's not a problem!

229. The cops came,

230. they said it's fine.

231. - They're not, like, real people, kinda. - The cops said that?

232. If you keep asking me questions, I'm gonna beat the crap out of you.

233. What? Really?

234. No.

235. I mean, yeah.

236. I'm gonna beat the crap out of you.

237. Because I was asking questions?

238. I'm gonna embarrass you at this party, Barry.

239. - What? - I'm gonna embarrass you, Barry.

240. It's done.

241. Get ready to be embarrassed.

242. - So we're at the Lions game—

243. The Lions?

244. Like the animal... from the circus?

245. They were playing a game?

246. I'm just trying to understand here.

247. I was talking about the football team.

248. Yeah, everyone knows what he's talking about.

249. My mistake.

250. Oh, my God!

251. Barry just palmed the dip.

252. He's trying to steal spinach dip, Barry is!

253. He pushed my hand in there.

254. Oh, my God!

255. - You're gonna tell on me? - Would you lay off me?

256. Hey, honey. Having fun?

257. No, your fricking babysitter idea got me in huge trouble.

258. - Now I have to embarrass Barry. - What?

259. Hold on. He's by the china cabinet.

260. Oh, my God!

261. Barry fell into the china cabinet!

262. What a klutz!

263. I told you. I told you I was gonna embarrass you, Barry.

264. Now we're even. Come on.

265. We can hang out and have a good time now.

266. I can't believe that.