House 8x6

1. Okay, boys and girls.

2. Guess what kind of animal Wacky Benny's making now.

3. Give you a big hint.

4. Is it a dead animal?

5. I say we put him out of his misery and bring out Emma's cake.

6. He's so new to this. How's he gonna learn if we stop his act?

7. You're a sucky clown.

8. And you're a super-duper audience.

9. Hey, that is not okay.

10. Hey, keep your hands off my son!

11. Tell him to keep his hands off me.

12. I can't move my arm or leg.

13. So how does a completely healthy teenager have a mini-stroke?

14. Head CT and cerebral angiogram are normal,

15. clotting parameters are normal.

16. You're forgetting the wrinkly clump in the middle of his shirt.

17. Thought we'd diagnose the middle-aged clown first.

18. It's probably from my seatbelt.

19. Wrinkle pattern's too varied.

20. Looks like someone shoved you. Or grabbed you.

21. Probably from the diaper bag. if the patient's using drugs,

22. cocaine could've caused an arterial spasm in his brain . . .

23. Tox screen's clean.

24. I'm gonna say it was the ex-girlfriend you cheated on,

25. not the ex-wife you cheated with

26. because if the latter was prone to violence,

27. you'd have been scattered in various dumpsters years ago.

28. Seriously?

29. No one else wants to talk about the patient?

30. New office furniture. Meaty topic.

31. What's the action on the ex-wife?

32. It was Rachel's boyfriend Phil.

33. His company's moving him back to Portland.

34. He wants me to change my visitation order

35. so he can ask Rachel and my daughter to move out west with him.

36. Things got a little heated.

37. The patient was punched in the groin,

38. could've triggered a massive sympathetic discharge . . .

39. Carotid duplex is normal.

40. And who's better qualified to be the daddy?

41. The guy who spilled a little DNA in her gene pool,

42. or the guy who's gonna be there day and night

43. to pass on important values like not shtupping Mommy after the divorce?

44. I am her daddy. She's staying here.

45. House has a point.

46. A couple nights a week with each kid may make you feel better.

47. It doesn't replace two round-the-clock parents.

48. Round-the-clock or not, parenting's an impossible job.

49. No way not to mess it up.

50. Why shouldn't Taub be the one to do it?

51. Thank you. Makes sense.

52. Park's tiger mom and dad were so insufferable,

53. she has to measure their affection in hours.

54. Chase's careerist dad and alcoholic mom were so indifferent,

55. he has to believe it's a wash.

56. Your turn.

57. What did your screwed-up parents do

58. to screw up your view of parenting?

59. They were good parents.

60. That's an oxymoron.

61. Chase is right, all parents screw up all children.

62. He's also dreamy, but it's not relevant now.

63. So all parents screw up all children,

64. but it makes some huge difference

65. if I keep my daughter here or let her move?

66. Endocarditis, flipped a piece of vegetation into his brain,

67. which could've broken up before the angiogram.

68. Transesophageal echo to confirm.

69. And screwed up is her best-case.

70. Bouncing between a philandering, workaholic dad

71. and an embittered, sexually-betrayed mom,

72. it's gonna lead to screwed-up squared.

73. ls endocarditis treatable?

74. Very.

75. The echo will show us any growths on his heart valve.

76. Most likely meds'll be enough, he won't even need surgery.

77. He's just taken up performing, and it's very stressful for him.

78. Could that have caused this?

79. It's not stressful, I have fun.

80. Stress wouldn't be relevant.

81. But anything that increases his adrenaline could have made it worse.

82. Maybe we find you a new hobby. One you're a little better at.

83. I'm gonna get better at it, and it's not a hobby.

84. I think I want to get a job working

85. as a circus clown, making people laugh.

86. Ben, I don't think that's a good idea.

87. It was good enough for my dad.

88. You were a . . .

89. His biological father.

90. Could his dad's melanoma be a factor here?

91. That wouldn't be related.

92. Ben, you barely knew him.

93. You're such a smart kid,

94. you could aim a lot higher than face paint and seltzer bottles.

95. I need treatment for my Type 2 diabetes.

96. There is absolutely no part of that sentence that is true.

97. I've been experiencing weight gain, fatigue and sluggishness.

98. Weight loss is a symptom of diabetes.

99. Fatigue is a symptom of thinking you

100. have a disease you don't actually have.

101. And sluggishness is a synonym of fatigue.

102. I need insulin. I know it.

103. Much as I'd like to kill you by dangerously lowering your blood sugar,

104. murder violates my parole.

105. That blood work is weeks old. Test me again.

106. I am the test. The test is negative.

107. The test also thinks you're a giant pain in the ass.

108. That last insult was your cue to leave.

109. Test me.

110. Fine. Wait right here.

111. Thank you.

112. Sleep study. Please make sure he's

113. not disturbed for the next eight hours.

114. We need to talk about Saturday night.

115. No, no, no, no, no.

116. Historians will talk of Saturday night, not us.

117. The legendary night on which we watch Santos shatter Rubio's jaw

118. and you epically pay me $50.

119. I have a chance to really watch it.

120. A patient of mine has a pair of tickets he can't use.

121. And obviously you're under house and office arrest,

122. I just wanted to make sure you were cool

123. if I go to Atlantic City without you.

124. No, thanks.

125. I'm afraid I'm gonna have to decline your invitation

126. to not spend Saturday night with you.

127. These are ringside seats.

128. Cameras are ringside, too.

129. if you want, I could sweat and spit

130. and bleed on you from time to time.

131. I'd take you if I could.

132. Well, I'd take me if either of us could.

133. See what a tough spot I'm in?

134. I'm going to that fight.

135. All right, I'll take the other ticket.

136. Let me worry about logistics.

137. Patient's heart valves are normal. It's not endocarditis.

138. But he has a thickened pericardium, which makes no sense.

139. He has a heart problem, but not one that could've caused his TlA.

140. Syphilitic vasculitis would explain the TlA

141. and the pericardial inflammation.

142. Syph test was negative. Plus, the kid's never been sexually active.

143. Yeah, I got that from the line on his chart that says "birthday clown".

144. His late father was a circus clown.

145. Histoplasmosis.

146. He's not immunocompromised.

147. And I assume you added that irrelevant tidbit

148. because you're moved by the son's idiotic tribute,

149. and think it justifies keeping your daughter in New Jersey.

150. But what if he has a heightened immune system.

151. I mentioned it because . . .

152. Take your time. We'll continue with medicine.

153. Sjogren's could've given him chronic

154. pericarditis and cerebral arteritis.

155. Sjogren's it is. lV immunosuppressants to treat.

156. Anything?

157. This'll calm your immune system.

158. You should be out of here within the week.

159. My mom'll be happy to hear that.

160. I've got an internship that starts in three weeks.

161. I take it it's not at a place with a big top.

162. It's in my stepdad's law office.

163. I know I'm not any good at being a clown yet,

164. but when I do get a laugh,

165. see those kids' eyes light up,

166. that's how my dad made me feel when I was a kid.

167. You need to hang onto that.

168. My mom says he was a loving father,

169. but always broke and always on the road.

170. It's a stupid way to make a living.

171. You're 16. Plenty of time to make money.

172. Wanting to build a connection with your dad,

173. pass on some of the joy that he gave you,

174. that's not stupid at all.

175. I got it.

176. (STUTTERS) Is this because of the medication? Is it normal?

177. It's not normal, and it's not Sjogren's.

178. TlA, thickened pericardium, and now

179. he's bleeding from his nose and mouth.

180. What are you doing with her?

181. "Her"?

182. Surely this little bundle of fun has an actual name.

183. It's Sophie.

184. Both your kids are named . . .

185. She's Sophie. The other one's Sophia.

186. It's different enough.

187. They actually have two completely different derivations.

188. No, they don't.

189. I wasn't in a strong negotiating position. Why is she here?

190. Ruby dropped her off. Seemed pretty upset.

191. Apparently someone forgot that it was Daddy's night.

192. She wasn't even gonna leave her

193. till I said that I was letting you off early.

194. Damn it. I just started back on the team. My schedule's a mess.

195. if your own kids are a scheduling item,

196. maybe you should let one of them move.

197. Patient has low platelets, makes me think DlC.

198. (BABY SQUEALS) She doesn't seem to like that idea.

199. You're right. No schistocytes in his smear.

200. He also has a low red count. What if it's a retroperitoneal bleed?

201. No Grey-Turner's sign.

202. She wasn't fussy like that when I was holding her.

203. Maybe she likes the sound of my voice.

204. Which is weird because I have no genetic connection to her.

205. Could it be she doesn't know the difference?

206. So many children of your own,

207. no wonder you have such insight into

208. my relationship with my babies.

209. Good point. How could I comprehend that you're too despised

210. to keep them from having the same name,

211. too overwhelmed to remember your own calendar,

212. and too vain to admit that at this stage,

213. you don't matter to either baby?

214. Low white count suggests infection.

215. What if you're all right? Low platelets, plus low red count,

216. plus low white count equals . . .

217. Aplastic anemia.

218. Kid needs a bone marrow transplant.

219. Everyone except Adams transfuse

220. his platelets till you find a match.

221. You started college a semester late

222. because you left high school a semester late

223. because you had five incompletes in your junior year.

224. And you're offering one bad semester

225. as proof that my parents screwed me up?

226. Did okay before that, straight A's after that.

227. I went through a rebellious phase.

228. Don't tell me. Mom and Dad were at each other's throats,

229. and the academic crisis was a cry for help.

230. Sorry to mess with your world view, but I'm not messed up.

231. So my parents couldn't have messed me up.

232. Mom's HLA is only a 3/6 match.

233. Maternal grandmother's worse than that.

234. Where'd you unload the baby?

235. Maternity ward. Shut up.

236. You realize you're making House's argument for him.

237. The part where he said any parent who uses day care

238. should ship their child across the country?

239. No, the part where he said that baby doesn't need you.

240. You've only got her a couple days a week,

241. and most of that's spent with a rotating cast of nurses . . .

242. That's how Daddy likes to spend his time, too.

243. Shut up. First cousin's also a whiff.

244. So much for genetics mattering. I'll try the marrow registry.

245. Dr. Park is searching the registry.

246. Transfusing his platelets will keep him healthy while we wait.

247. You sure there's no one on the father's side of the family?

248. if one of them's a match, that'd speed things up a lot.

249. (SlGHS) His parents died young, he was an only child.

250. There's no living relatives that I know of.

251. Something will turn up soon.

252. How soon is soon? Will he miss a lot of school?

253. I'm actually thinking of just getting my GED.

254. How do you expect to get into a good college?

255. I'm gonna take classes on magic, juggling, try to make a go of this.

256. Ben, you keep your grades up, you can do anything in the world.

257. Like what? Work in some boring office?

258. Do you think my father would have done that for 10 minutes?

259. You don't remember your father. You don't know . . .

260. I want to build a connection with him.

261. Pass on some of the joy that he gave me.

262. My . . .

263. My back hurts.

264. His BP's dropping.

265. We think we've dealt with all the liability issues.

266. I'm in a meeting.

267. Sorry. Since you paged me, I didn't want to keep you waiting.

268. Yeah. I paged you, which means you're next.

269. That's cool. I'll wait.

270. That's a good start. Let's go through it point by point.

271. First up . . .

272. I'll call you back.

273. Just got this.

274. The American Association of Rheumatology

275. wants you to speak, 9:00, Saturday, in Atlantic City.

276. Dr. Neusinger canceled on them at the last minute.

277. I hate conferences.

278. Well, this is a big one. And it's the premium slot.

279. I'd like you to do it.

280. I'll clear it with your parole officer.

281. What do I need to do for you?

282. Halve the clinic hours that you recently doubled,

283. and double the hooker budget that you recently halved.

284. I think you refer to it as petty cash.

285. Fine.

286. Just one thing. I'm gonna ask them to put you on in the morning.

287. We're doing them a favor. Why should you have to spend the night?

288. But you said that 9:00 was the premium slot.

289. I want to feel like I've earned my hookers.

290. The place'll be a madhouse.

291. Especially since it's 2 miles from the Rubio fight, at the exact same time.

292. Nice try. You called up, pretended to be Neusinger, canceled,

293. then suggested yourself as a replacement.

294. You go to that fight, you go to prison.

295. Well, that'd be redundant

296. when I have an angry black guy waiting for me to drop the soap right here.

297. Better go do some of those clinic hours I recently doubled.

298. Test my urine.

299. Looks like I was wrong about my diagnosis.

300. Yeah. I have diabetes.

301. No. But you're not a hypochondriac.

302. Or you'd have imagined some new disease

303. after I shot down the first one.

304. So whose urine is that? Diabetic girlfriend without health insurance?

305. It's not a scam, I'm sick. Now I have swollen ankles.

306. The medical term is cankles.

307. ls there some black market in insulin that I don't know about?

308. It's in my genes.

309. My old man got diabetes at 50, my older brother got it at 50, I just turned 50.

310. Well, that's a great argument if diabetes was a gold watch.

311. I've got sciatica like my dad, class-four hemorrhoids like him.

312. I need to get a jump on this thing.

313. We had to stop the transfusion.

314. Patient's having an allergic reaction to donor platelets.

315. No one in Mom's family's a match,

316. and as far as she knows, Dad has no living relatives.

317. It's been years since he died.

318. if the kid's dad died young of melanoma,

319. how come the overprotective mom

320. never took him to a dermatologist?

321. Are you gonna test my urine, or what?

322. Not diabetes.

323. Use crossmatched platelets,

324. try to find the patient some blood that's closer to his own.

325. And get the real story on clown senior's death.

326. Mom's hiding something.

327. There's a good bet that it's medically relevant.

328. Apple juice. Easiest way to fake a spike in blood sugar.

329. His family history of melanoma may have affected his cellular outlook.

330. if we had more detail on the exact type of melanoma his father had . . .

331. Otherwise we might not be able to find a marrow match.

332. He never had melanoma.

333. How did he die?

334. He didn't.

335. He lives in Pennsauken, under a different name. Mitchell Gordon.

336. How could you keep this from me? From Ben?

337. He really needs to know his dad

338. just breezed in and out of his life,

339. drunk and incoherent?

340. It's better to think the man's dead but decent.

341. You realize I have to invite someone else to the Rubio fight.

342. Nope. No realization whatsoever.

343. You have a LoJack on your leg.

344. I was happy watching the fight on pay-per-view.

345. You're the one who insisted we go to Atlantic City.

346. Your biological father was a decent, God-fearing minister,

347. the guy who raised you was a cold-hearted jerk.

348. I'm trying to figure out why you're so convinced

349. Adams has parentally-inflicted damage.

350. You're trying to deflect.

351. Now you are.

352. You have to believe that every parent screws up every child,

353. or you were screwed out of a decent childhood.

354. My decent daddy-of-the-cloth was also

355. being indecent with my married mom.

356. He probably would've taken other kids to the playground.

357. Not my fault, bad parenting.

358. Mitchell Gordon?

359. I've already got a religion. Go away.

360. We're doctors.

361. Your son Ben is in the hospital,

362. at Princeton-Plainsboro. He's very sick.

363. Yeah, well, I don't have a son. Not anymore.

364. We know there are some issues there,

365. but your bone marrow could cure him.

366. There's a hospital 2 miles from here. It's a simple test . . .

367. You said he was at Princeton-Plainsboro.

368. His mother feels it's better to do the tests at a different hospital.

369. Like I said, I don't have a son anymore.

370. House isn't gonna give up. Just tell him about your parents.

371. Or make up a lie.

372. I don't want to lie.

373. And I don't want to validate his ridiculous theory.

374. It's not ridiculous. Even the best-intentioned

375. parents end up damaging their kids.

376. You're a smart, successful doctor.

377. How much damage could you have?

378. Know how I got interested in medicine?

379. When my mother drank, she couldn't handle me,

380. so she locked me in my father's study.

381. Only so many hours you can cry and bang on the door

382. before you give up, find something to read.

383. We all have family dysfunction. That's why we're successful.

384. To fill that hole.

385. My parents have a lot of money.

386. But they didn't make it legally.

387. White-collar crime?

388. Started with card games, high-stakes poker.

389. Then my dad got into narcotics.

390. At first just selling,

391. but then using, too.

392. Or he never would've gotten into the slave trade.

393. Children mostly.

394. Easier to pack in small crates.

395. Plus the shipping's a lot cheaper . . .

396. Won't even trust a co-worker.

397. What did your parents do to you?

398. You have to go see him yourself.

399. He wouldn't even come to the door a second time.

400. Okay. I'll drive over there.

401. It's a pleural effusion.

402. He had a bleeding problem earlier,

403. must be bleeding into his lungs.

404. Except there's no blood.

405. What does that mean?

406. Means you don't have to make that drive.

407. The problem isn't his marrow, it's his liver.

408. Liver failure explains everything.

409. Question is, what explains the liver failure?

410. It's not an infection. We tried antibiotics, but he's not responding.

411. More curiously, what explains the mom lying

412. about Dad pushing up squirting daisies?

413. This is how you plan to get to that boxing game?

414. Why are you looking at her?

415. Because I'm stunned

416. and I have to look at something.

417. Match, bout, fight, contest, day, Helena.

418. Almost anything works after boxing except the word game.

419. Your bigger problem is the people

420. who design those things aren't idiots.

421. Can you believe she used to work in the can?

422. Nothing is tamper-proof.

423. It's a synthetic problem.

424. His liver's not synthesizing proteins,

425. so fluid is leaking out of his blood vessels.

426. And Mom's a selfish jerk.

427. She traded up, married a lawyer,

428. wants to forget the lowly circus clown.

429. You're defending the father

430. because you feel like a jerk for baking buns in two different ovens.

431. You want to believe the mythical biological

432. connection excuses being a man-slut . . . Ow!

433. I don't know why I'm starting to doubt your expertise.

434. You do have a classified ad and a piece of metal.

435. It's temperature that sets it off, not force.

436. The rivets go pop, I slide in the heating pad. Easy peasy.

437. More likely the patient has a hyperammonemic problem.

438. His liver's not cleaning out his blood,

439. the buildup of toxins is causing everything.

440. I'm defending the dad because he got screwed.

441. After he lost his son, he lost his job,

442. been in and out of rehab, gave up clowning.

443. Yes, as a parent, I empathize.

444. I say we tell the kid.

445. He's a minor, the mom's his guardian,

446. and it's not even medically relevant.

447. She robbed them of 12 years together.

448. Or she ripped off the Band-Aid too late.

449. That memory she let Son of Bozo establish

450. is making him chase his father's moronic profession.

451. When he could be living the high life in Portland.

452. And I mean that metaphorically, of course.

453. This is where you dazzle me with your contingency plan.

454. I see why employers are reluctant to hire ex-cons.

455. Well, what about the patient?

456. ls the problem hyperammonemic or synthetic?

457. Can't treat for both.

458. One requires hemodialysis, the other a liver transplant

459. and we couldn't even get the kid a marrow match.

460. Get the mom's consent to pump him full of protein.

461. if it's a synthetic problem, more fluid

462. will leak into his chest and his heart will fail.

463. if it's hyperammonemic, toxins will

464. overwhelm his body and he'll go into a coma.

465. Do you only like tests that involve the risk of death?

466. There are some slower, less conclusive tests, but why take that risk?

467. In here.

468. Oh, my God. The water.

469. This is completely my fault.

470. There are very serious risks,

471. but if we don't figure out what he has, we can't treat him at all.

472. I may be a little out of bounds here,

473. but in case there are complications,

474. might be a good time to come clean to your son.

475. Let his father visit.

476. A little out of bounds?

477. I don't know the history, but everyone makes mistakes.

478. Your son worships him.

479. The doctor's right about that.

480. Yeah?

481. And when did he learn that?

482. When he encouraged Ben to drop out of school?

483. Mitchell is not Ben's father any more than a sperm donor would've been.

484. Dr. House?

485. Unless you're a locksmith or an electrician

486. with political contacts, I'm busy.

487. My husband saw you in the clinic. Wants treatment for diabetes.

488. My condolences on your forthcoming divorce.

489. He keeps imagining symptoms,

490. and now I have to make him these awful anti-diabetic meals.

491. Since I have no intention of testing him,

492. treating him, or cooking for him . . .

493. Could you write me a fake prescription for insulin?

494. The advantage of fake prescriptions

495. is you don't have to be a real doctor to write one.

496. Just tell me what's safe to inject in his thigh.

497. His symptoms will go away and then I can show him he was never sick.

498. Water?

499. lmaginary medicine's not my specialty.

500. I do have an imaginary colleague

501. who's just sent me an imaginary page.

502. lmagine how sorry I am.

503. Still mad about what happened in the lab?

504. I'm not mad, I'm being professional.

505. You claim you're not screwed up, you may even believe it,

506. but House doesn't, and I don't.

507. So you can wait till he camps out on your parents' lawn,

508. or you can admit you don't live

509. on some higher plane and thank me later.

510. My . . . My eye feels weird.

511. What's happening to me?

512. You look tired.

513. (SCOFFS) I hate when people say that. I know, I look bad.

514. I thought you were gonna go to bed early last night.

515. Like an idiot, I went out with my girlfriends to pretend I have a life.

516. When all I did was flirt with guys

517. who'd have no interest in a mom,

518. and miss the baby I couldn't wait to get rid of,

519. and then get yelled at by my mom for staying out too late.

520. You need your own place. Yes.

521. I moved back home because it was too drafty at the Four Seasons.

522. So go back to work at the hospital.

523. Day care costs more than what I earned as a nurse.

524. Have you considered sub-standard day care?

525. Why don't you stay here tonight?

526. No, I mean in the guest room.

527. I'll watch the baby again, you can get a real night's sleep.

528. You'd do that?

529. Win-win.

530. Mommy gets a rest, Daddy gets more time with his little angel.

531. There's some sweats in the closet in the back.

532. Lucky girl, gets another sleepover with Dada.

533. Makes a difference,

534. doesn't it?

535. Didn't answer your page last night.

536. Sorry, battery died.

537. We got the patient's eye back in place with steroid injections.

538. But a bulging eyeball means it's not a liver problem.

539. And Mom's determination to keep Dad away,

540. even as her kid gets sicker and sicker, means she's got more to hide.

541. It's not diagnostically relevant, let's let it drop.

542. You just lost my vote. You flip-flopped on parental rights.

543. I've been trying to persuade the mother,

544. but it's her son, so it's her call.

545. Well, that's very evolved of you.

546. You don't usually see Darwinian changes over breakfast.

547. You made nice-nice with Phil.

548. You decided that he'd make a decent father for Thing Two after all.

549. I had Sophie again last night, and Ruby slept in my guest room.

550. Which has nothing to do with Phil,

551. who will never be a father to my children.

552. Angioneurotic edema can cause rapid swelling.

553. Hey, we're having a conversation here.

554. No abdominal pain.

555. So that must've been nice having

556. Ruby and the baby under one roof.

557. Yes, it was nice having my daughter in my home.

558. That's why l would like her sister to live near my home.

559. Anasarca?

560. Swelling would have followed gravity.

561. isn't that getting this whole parenting thing ass backwards?

562. Aren't you supposed to figure out

563. what you can sacrifice to maximize their niceness?

564. And do you think I should sacrifice myself from their lives?

565. Just one life. Until the other one's mommy meets someone nicer than you.

566. Swelling that fast and localized

567. has to come from the lymph nodes.

568. Burkitt's lymphoma.

569. Swelling.

570. Cankles.

571. That's not a symptom of Burkitt's. Are you saying . . .

572. It's Burkitt's. Prep him for chemo.

573. I think you should give House permission to go to Atlantic City.

574. We'll stop by the rheumatology conference. Everyone's covered.

575. No.

576. The guy has earned the right to go to one boxing match.

577. He's done everything you've asked.

578. Funded and staffed his own department,

579. hasn't even broken as much as a traffic law.

580. You're right.

581. So you'll let him go?

582. No.

583. I get why he wants to go to that fight. I'd love to go myself.

584. Which is kind of why I have to stop him.

585. My job is to be the jerk.

586. House has to believe that I have authority over him.

587. He can't function under someone's thumb.

588. I know. Which means you can't go either.

589. Your job is to be his friend.

590. To stay here and sit with him and watch the fight on pay-per-view

591. while bitching about me.

592. if we both do our jobs, we might

593. actually get him through his parole.

594. You're right.

595. Sorry to show up like this.

596. I was expecting a battery of lawyers.

597. No lawyers.

598. Phil had something that he would like to say.

599. So I thought that he should say it in person.

600. It was wrong of me to confront you

601. about taking Rachel to Portland.

602. You don't want to move to Portland?

603. Of course I do.

604. But this is about your daughter, too,

605. and I'm not gonna do something like this without your support.

606. So, you guys are trying to manipulate me by playing good cop/good cop?

607. Is that how little you think of me?

608. It's clear you're back working for House.

609. I will see you this weekend when you pick up Sophie.

610. Sophia.

611. We actually started calling her Sophie.

612. Yeah.

613. Great.

614. It's cute.

615. Cankles.

616. ls there some problem with the prescription you gave me?

617. I'm faint, I've been gaining more weight. I think I need a bigger dose.

618. if you double his placebo, he might drown.

619. Also, you forgot to mention that your heart rate is slow.

620. My heart rate's not . . .

621. 52?

622. The technical term is slow.

623. Those awful anti-diabetic meals you eat, do they contain bok choy?

624. A pound of it. Every day.

625. Bok choy has glucosinolates,

626. which inhibit thyroid function and account for all your symptoms.

627. So, this isn't diabetes?

628. You have a bad case of irony.

629. The food that you're eating to stop making you sick is making you sick.

630. Maybe I don't have my father's crummy genes after all.

631. On the other hand, maybe you're

632. fat enough to get diabetes even without him.

633. I can't believe I have cancer.

634. We caught it early. You should be okay.

635. I could die. I never went anywhere, did anything.

636. if my father had lived, everything would have been different.

637. Your mom and stepdad love you, they've given you a great home.

638. That counts for a lot.

639. He's crashing, everything's shutting down.

640. Renal failure, lung failure, heart failure, all before we started chemo.

641. Burkitt's lymphoma is fast-moving, but not this fast.

642. No rush. LCU stands for "take your time" in Latin.

643. Multiple aneurysms.

644. That would mean every symptom after his TlA was a coincidence.

645. Cholesterol emboli.

646. Bingo! Fits perfectly.

647. Check the file, confirm that we did major abdominal surgery on him,

648. and then completely forgot about it.

649. House.

650. Hello.

651. What the hell are you doing here?

652. I was told this might be my last chance to see my son.

653. You had no right. This is none of your business!

654. I didn't . . . I called him.

655. This man is Ben's hero. Let them spend five minutes together.

656. No. You get out of here!

657. Wait.

658. You sexually molested your son.

659. Your walk, tabes dorsalis.

660. You have late-stage syphilis.

661. Which you gave to our patient, presumably 12 years ago.

662. Which also explains why Mom is not big on family reunions.

663. I shouldn't be here.

664. We tested him for syphilis, he was negative.

665. After 12 years, the active infection would have died down

666. everywhere except the arteries in his brain,

667. where it could hide out from our tests.

668. When that six-year-old heckler punched him in his juggling pins,

669. it kicked up the dormant bacteria in his pelvis.

670. The immunosuppressants we gave him sent it into overdrive.

671. The antibiotics we gave him actually started destroying the syphilis.

672. But like pouring water on a fire,

673. led to a trail of toxic smoke and ash,

674. which made his immune system overcompensate.

675. Severe Jarisch-Herxheimer reaction.

676. Is this true? Yes.

677. Jarisch-Herxheimer is real. It sounds silly but . . .

678. You mean the . . . Right.

679. I found stains on his clothes.

680. He didn't understand and he didn't seem traumatized.

681. I kept trying to talk to him, but before long, he'd forgotten.

682. And he seemed . . .

683. He seemed happy, and he seemed normal.

684. So you made Daddy go away, and you made

685. sure Junior had no reason to go looking.

686. I was just trying to protect him,

687. like I should have done from the start.

688. (SOBS) I'm sorry.

689. lV penicillin and anti-TNF antibodies, he'll be fine.

690. Apart from the whole daddy-rape thing.

691. We're not done.

692. No, we are not.

693. Notify the dad's sexual partners, notify his employer,

694. his landlord, notify the police.

695. I meant the kid. We're not gonna tell him he was molested?

696. To make him miserable, or to forfeit your license?

697. To tell him the truth.

698. He's a virgin, how do I explain the STD?

699. It's a medical diagnosis. Screw the parents, the kid's our patient.

700. I guess Taub's got a tough choice to make when the kid wakes up.

701. Why is it my choice?

702. Because you're a dad.

703. How could the rest of us possibly understand?

704. What was wrong with me?

705. It's called syphilis.

706. Uh . . .

707. You can get that without having sex?

708. I didn't tell him.

709. Your heart said he needed to know,

710. your brain knew he's better off without it.

711. Following your heart is easy. Following your brain is tough.

712. Especially after years of following

713. that much smaller, third organ.

714. That's why all parents screw up all children.

715. Evening.

716. Clever tactic, pretending you're not interested anymore.

717. How could that possibly work as a tactic?

718. The fact is, once I saw those incompletes,

719. I knew your parents screwed you up.

720. The details are just gravy.

721. You're wrong.

722. The only evidence you have is proof of something else.

723. I ran away from home.

724. Because you had lousy parents.

725. Because I didn't.

726. All my friends' parents were divorced, or having affairs,

727. or barely knew their kids' birthdays.

728. You envied their dysfunction?

729. I thought it made them deeper somehow.

730. It was stupid.

731. I hitchhiked to Manhattan, moved in with an older guy.

732. In two months l came running home.

733. Took my parents years to get over it.

734. That's when you started to excel. You were making it up to them.

735. Your parents screwed you up by not screwing you up.

736. How does briefly wishing I was screwed up make me screwed up?

737. It's normal to be screwed up. It's really screwed up to romanticize it.

738. Guess that's why you wanted to work with prisoners.

739. It's why I wanted to work with you.

740. It was a tactic.

741. Chris. Yeah.

742. I need to talk to you and Phil.

743. ls everything okay?

744. Yeah.

745. I can't let you move.

746. You drove all the way out here just

747. to tell us what you already told us?

748. I'm sorry.

749. House, open up. I don't want to miss the opening bell.

750. House?

751. telecast, and we expect an electric atmosphere in the arena

752. and a sell-out crowd of about 10,000 for Rubio vs. Santos.

753. Two great fighters with illustrious careers

754. might have been expected to meet a long time ago.

755. As for Santos, his handlers tell us

756. that he's done more roadwork than at any time in his career,

757. hoping to prove tonight that he can box for 12 full rounds.

758. Significant, because Santos hasn't heard

759. the final bell in more than six years.

760. He comes in with 11 straight knockout wins.

761. He saw how a power-puncher with a left hook

762. was able to cut Rubio over the right eye

763. in the 10th round of that last fight.