1. What's the difference
between a sea lion and a seal?Copy !req
2. What's that, baby?Copy !req
3. What's the difference
between a sea lion and a seal?Copy !req
4. Seals tell the truth,
but a sea lion is always lying?Copy !req
5. A sea lion has ears.Copy !req
6. Yeah, that's right. I forgot.Copy !req
7. I'll show you when we get to the zoo.Copy !req
8. Can we have pizza tonight?Copy !req
9. I'm not gonna be here, Daisy.Copy !req
10. I'm going back on the road, remember?Copy !req
11. You've only been here for two days.Copy !req
12. I'll be back in three weeks this time.Copy !req
13. Somebody help her!Copy !req
14. She's having a seizure!Copy !req
15. There's a lady down there.Copy !req
16. Daddy, come back! Daddy!Copy !req
17. Hey, lady. Hey, lady, are you okay?
Come on. Come on.Copy !req
18. Hey, wake up!
Come on, get up! Hey...Copy !req
19. Come on.Copy !req
20. Help me!Copy !req
21. Somebody help me!
Come on!Copy !req
22. Hurry! Hurry up!Copy !req
23. Daddy!Copy !req
24. Move the train! Move the train!Copy !req
25. Hey, man, are you okay?Copy !req
26. Yeah, I think so.Copy !req
27. She's epileptic.Copy !req
28. Come on, let's get you up.Copy !req
29. You all right?
Here we go.Copy !req
30. Hey, sweetie, I'm okay.Copy !req
31. Daddy?Copy !req
32. I found this case in the ER.Copy !req
33. White male, mid-30s,
loss of consciousness, abnormal EKG,Copy !req
34. and he's the subway hero.Copy !req
35. Your enthusiasm is impressive.Copy !req
36. Wish I could say the same
about your presentation.Copy !req
37. Everybody knows you lead
with your most interesting symptom.Copy !req
38. You're right, EKG is more interesting
than loss of consciousness.Copy !req
39. So I think we should do...Copy !req
40. God! She's still talking, make it stop.Copy !req
41. House's world view doesn't include
random acts of self-sacrifice.Copy !req
42. He's gonna count heroism
as a symptom until proven otherwise.Copy !req
43. The guy did a wonderful thing.Copy !req
44. Can't we just take that at face value?Copy !req
45. You are adorable.Copy !req
46. Heroism does exist.Copy !req
47. What about the guy
who landed the plane in the Hudson?Copy !req
48. News flash,
that guy was already on the plane.Copy !req
49. For all we know he would have killed
everyone else on boardCopy !req
50. if it increased his chances.Copy !req
51. Faced with almost certain death,Copy !req
52. a normal person rides the pine.Copy !req
53. What about firefighters?Copy !req
54. The guys who undergo
months of trainingCopy !req
55. to deny their own instincts
for self-preservation?Copy !req
56. And the patient isn't a firefighter.Copy !req
57. He plays a bass in a band.Copy !req
58. So humanity
is apathetic and self-serving?Copy !req
59. Yeah.Copy !req
60. I was mugged once.
When I saw the gun, my legs went out.Copy !req
61. I always thought
it was "fight or flight,"Copy !req
62. didn't know
it was "fight or flight or faint."Copy !req
63. Laugh all you want, the other 100 people
stayed on that platform.Copy !req
64. That's a normal response to danger.Copy !req
65. The coward has spoken.
Our patient's problem is neurological.Copy !req
66. Sympathetic stimulation.Copy !req
67. Stress to the brain
triggers a response in the heart.Copy !req
68. Go forth and look for massesCopy !req
69. in Clark Kent's limbic system.Copy !req
70. Seems like you're getting
a bit of attention.Copy !req
71. Everyone keeps going out of
their way, asking me if I need anything.Copy !req
72. It's kind of nice.Copy !req
73. So what happened out there?Copy !req
74. I don't really remember.Copy !req
75. It's just images, like flashes.
I kind of went on autopilot.Copy !req
76. My memory doesn't go back into
real time until I was in the ambulance.Copy !req
77. I read that's pretty common
for people in life-or-death situations.Copy !req
78. - Jack.
- Honey.Copy !req
79. This is my wife Eva.Copy !req
80. - Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine.Copy !req
81. They're just doing some tests.Copy !req
82. How's Daisy?Copy !req
83. She's not so good, actually.Copy !req
84. She watched her father
jump in front of a train.Copy !req
85. She's still shaking,
she can't stop crying.Copy !req
86. Why would you do that to her?Copy !req
87. He saved a woman's life.Copy !req
88. He could have died.Copy !req
89. Did you even think about your family?Copy !req
90. I need your advice.Copy !req
91. Dinner with your mom on Thursday...Copy !req
92. It's my birthday.Copy !req
93. I know. I'm definitely coming.Copy !req
94. Wilson's got tickets
to the Hong Kong Film Festival.Copy !req
95. Ever since his break-up
he's been a mess.Copy !req
96. I haven't been able
to tell him that I'm not going.Copy !req
97. So maybe if you happen to see him,Copy !req
98. you can mention how important this is.Copy !req
99. You should go.Copy !req
100. What? I can't.
It's your birthday.Copy !req
101. It's fine. It's sweet
that you care about your friend.Copy !req
102. And frankly,
as you will find out sooner or later,Copy !req
103. my mother is a handful.Copy !req
104. Go.Copy !req
105. I need your advice.
This film festival...Copy !req
106. I have had these tickets for two months.Copy !req
107. Yeah, I know. I'm definitely coming.Copy !req
108. Okay.Copy !req
109. But Thursday is Cuddy's birthday
and her mom's coming down.Copy !req
110. It's a whole dinner thing.Copy !req
111. And I thought, maybe if you see her,Copy !req
112. you could mention
how upset you've been...Copy !req
113. You have to go.Copy !req
114. Your girlfriend's birthday?
It's not even a question.Copy !req
115. She has one every year.Copy !req
116. How often do you break up
with the love of your life?Copy !req
117. Okay, for you,
it's more often than most, but still...Copy !req
118. I'm a big boy, I think I'll survive.Copy !req
119. I will definitely make this up to you.Copy !req
120. Hey.Copy !req
121. Am I imagining things,Copy !req
122. or did I see a billboard with your face
on it on my way home tonight?Copy !req
123. Was my whole face there?
'Cause I just saw the nose.Copy !req
124. I thought you said
they were taking a pictureCopy !req
125. of a bunch of doctors together.Copy !req
126. They did. I have no idea
how it ended up just me.Copy !req
127. Well, you are pretty cute.Copy !req
128. You're flirting with me?Copy !req
129. Don't see anyone else in the room.Copy !req
130. What?Copy !req
131. I don't know.Copy !req
132. Things have been
a little tense around hereCopy !req
133. since that whole online-boyfriend thing.Copy !req
134. Phil's not my boyfriend.
I'm not the one with the problem.Copy !req
135. No, you're the one
with feelings for someone else.Copy !req
136. You're still my husband,Copy !req
137. I still love you,Copy !req
138. and I want things to be okay between us.Copy !req
139. Also, you're a famous model now.
That's pretty cool.Copy !req
140. Sexy, even.Copy !req
141. So I advance
through the carotid bifurcation?Copy !req
142. Are you asking?Copy !req
143. Yes, I'm asking.Copy !req
144. I've only read how to do it,
but practice is different than theory.Copy !req
145. Just tell me how to do it.Copy !req
146. You're gonna inject dye just past
the takeoff of the optic artery.Copy !req
147. Now?Copy !req
148. His BP's going up,
the procedure's stressing his body.Copy !req
149. What do I do?Copy !req
150. Hold on a minute.Copy !req
151. Just give him a chance
to regain equilibrium.Copy !req
152. BP's up, heart rate's 180.Copy !req
153. What should I do?Copy !req
154. Give me the catheter,
get the crash cart.Copy !req
155. He's in cardiac arrest.Copy !req
156. Maybe your second time will go better.Copy !req
157. So we finally know what Taub
would look like if he were life-size.Copy !req
158. Can we go back to the office now?Copy !req
159. You kidding?Copy !req
160. We got a differential to run.
Cardiac arrhythmia...Copy !req
161. That poster got me laid when I got home
last night, so do your worst.Copy !req
162. Arrhythmia proves I was right.Copy !req
163. Jack's problem is his heart,
not his brain.Copy !req
164. So when you're not on a billboard
you sleep with nurses,Copy !req
165. but when you are
you sleep with your wife.Copy !req
166. I think you got that backwards.Copy !req
167. That's my elbow in the corner.Copy !req
168. What's your wife doing later?Copy !req
169. Huh. They chose you
and cut out Chase?Copy !req
170. Apparently, Marketing
thinks my face is the most trustworthy.Copy !req
171. For real?Copy !req
172. Both of our patient's cardiac incidentsCopy !req
173. happened after physical stress.Copy !req
174. I'm guessing vasovagal syncope.Copy !req
175. Buzzkill.Copy !req
176. Vasovagal syncope
would manifest at a much younger age.Copy !req
177. Could be drugs.Copy !req
178. Tox screen was clean.Copy !req
179. What about
autonomic nervous system dysfunction?Copy !req
180. Could cause arrhythmia and fainting.Copy !req
181. Inappropriate?
I mean because of the Jew thing?Copy !req
182. Autonomic nervous system dysfunction.
I like it.Copy !req
183. Let's biopsy his pituitary gland.Copy !req
184. Adrenal venous sampling
makes more sense,Copy !req
185. and it is a less invasive procedure.Copy !req
186. Which you don't care about because
you just want to check the pituitaryCopy !req
187. because you still think there's
something wrong with the guy's brain?Copy !req
188. Can't fool you.Copy !req
189. He has no other symptoms
for pituitary disease.Copy !req
190. We can't stick a needle in his brainCopy !req
191. because you don't believe in heroism.Copy !req
192. Fine, do it your way.Copy !req
193. You'll waste half a day, but I'm sure
he's in no hurry to get better.Copy !req
194. The autonomic nervous system
controls involuntary actions,Copy !req
195. like your heartbeat.Copy !req
196. If we're right,
it's manageable, but will progress.Copy !req
197. Do you think
we could consult with him?Copy !req
198. I didn't know you knew Dr. Taub.Copy !req
199. I don't.Copy !req
200. You saw the ads.Copy !req
201. Look, no offense,
but you were wrong yesterday.Copy !req
202. And they wouldn't have made him
the face of the hospitalCopy !req
203. if he weren't really good, right?Copy !req
204. Dr. Taub.Copy !req
205. The patient would like to see you.Copy !req
206. How can I help?Copy !req
207. I forgot, you guys talk.Copy !req
208. Look, no offense to either of you,Copy !req
209. but dinner with your mom? Come on.Copy !req
210. I'd have to act
like a decent human being.Copy !req
211. You know what a strain that puts on me.Copy !req
212. And, you,Copy !req
213. ever since you broke up with Sam,Copy !req
214. you've done nothing
but mope and whine.Copy !req
215. It's an unbelievable bummer.Copy !req
216. And just what is so excitingCopy !req
217. you have to blow off
both of us to do it?Copy !req
218. I just want to sit on my couch
in my underwear, drink scotch,Copy !req
219. and watch
The Real Housewives of New Jersey.Copy !req
220. By myself. I just want one night off.Copy !req
221. Is that so much to ask?Copy !req
222. - Yes.
- Yes.Copy !req
223. You have to choose one of us.Copy !req
224. I choose Wilson.Copy !req
225. Good, because he's coming
to my birthday dinner.Copy !req
226. I do not whine.Copy !req
227. Jack's not exactly the hero-type.Copy !req
228. He started this band in college.Copy !req
229. They gig around the country,
looking for their big break.Copy !req
230. It's been 16 years.Copy !req
231. That must be hard on you and Daisy.Copy !req
232. It's like I'm a single parent.Copy !req
233. I love him so much,Copy !req
234. but I'm at the end of my rope.Copy !req
235. What Jack did yesterday
was so incredible,Copy !req
236. our boss assumed his illness
had something to do with his behavior.Copy !req
237. But if that's not the case,Copy !req
238. there's more to him than you think.Copy !req
239. You think Taub really comes acrossCopy !req
240. as the most trustworthy doctor here?Copy !req
241. I knew it was bugging you.Copy !req
242. They cut me out.Copy !req
243. You're a pretty boy.Copy !req
244. Works well with the ladies,Copy !req
245. not so much with the patients.Copy !req
246. No one wants an underwear model
performing their splenectomy.Copy !req
247. I notice they weren't exactly
knocking down your doorCopy !req
248. looking for Dr. Trustworthy.Copy !req
249. That's 'cause I'm black.Copy !req
250. Cortisol levels look normal.
We were wrong.Copy !req
251. Which House will interpret
as him being right.Copy !req
252. He's gonna make us
biopsy the pituitary gland.Copy !req
253. You seem pretty calm
for a guy who's surrounded by racists.Copy !req
254. 80% of the Princeton population
is white.Copy !req
255. Some are racist, some aren't.Copy !req
256. White works
with both demographics.Copy !req
257. So race is your excuse,Copy !req
258. not the fact that you usually look likeCopy !req
259. you're about to punch
someone in the face?Copy !req
260. We're good.Copy !req
261. O2 sats are dropping.Copy !req
262. He's not breathing. Suction.Copy !req
263. Sats are coming back.Copy !req
264. Mucus plug. That's weird.Copy !req
265. Fluid in the lungs.Copy !req
266. Pneumonitis?Copy !req
267. That doesn't fit with anyone's theory.Copy !req
268. Our tests finally rule out the brain.Copy !req
269. That leaves the heart and the lungs.Copy !req
270. Pneumonitis can be
caused by bacteria,Copy !req
271. parasite,
some kind of obstruction...Copy !req
272. Who was the girl on the tracks?Copy !req
273. News story said her name's
Chloe Jefferies. Why does that matter?Copy !req
274. 'Cause there's another reason
besides being sickCopy !req
275. that he'd risk his life for a stranger.Copy !req
276. She's not a stranger.Copy !req
277. The damsel in distress is an epileptic,Copy !req
278. so we assumed
she was having an epileptic seizure.Copy !req
279. But what if she wasn't.
What if she's sick, too?Copy !req
280. Jack is away a lot, on tour.Copy !req
281. What happens on the road
stays on the road.Copy !req
282. The most likely
cause of pneumonitis is infection.Copy !req
283. Shouldn't we be getting
a sputum culture?Copy !req
284. There's no significant elevation
in white blood cell count.Copy !req
285. This is more like toxic exposure.Copy !req
286. He's got a point.Copy !req
287. Why is your assumption of his guiltCopy !req
288. more valid than my assumption
of his selflessness?Copy !req
289. Because my assumption is backed up
by millions of men, and Taub,Copy !req
290. who've cheated on their wives.Copy !req
291. Find the girl and the love nest.Copy !req
292. Every hero has his Kryptonite.Copy !req
293. Hello?Copy !req
294. So we're breaking into
this girl's apartmentCopy !req
295. because House thinks
that two peopleCopy !req
296. standing 30 feet apart
on a subway platform have to be lovers.Copy !req
297. God, you're a drag today.Copy !req
298. Let me guess.
You're back to fighting with the wife?Copy !req
299. No.Copy !req
300. We had sex again last night, twice.
And again this morning.Copy !req
301. Oh.Copy !req
302. Rachel hasn't wanted
this much intimacy in a long time.Copy !req
303. I don't think it's me she's hot for,
it's this Internet guy.Copy !req
304. She's just happy
and that's turning her on.Copy !req
305. So she's not cheating on youCopy !req
306. and you're getting
all the action you can handle.Copy !req
307. I don't see the downside.Copy !req
308. What was Jack's band called?Copy !req
309. Suicide something.Copy !req
310. Suicide Season.
She does know him.Copy !req
311. Question is,
how'd they get sick?Copy !req
312. Kryptonite.Copy !req
313. EKG's unremarkable. Thyroid,
liver and kidney function seems fine.Copy !req
314. You're perfectly healthy.Copy !req
315. I wish that you would take
a second look.Copy !req
316. I'm tired all the time
and when it's cold,Copy !req
317. I get this weird pain in my shoulder.Copy !req
318. I have a pain in my leg,Copy !req
319. you don't hear me complaining.Copy !req
320. Except for just now.Copy !req
321. How do doctors get this idea
you're better than everyone else?Copy !req
322. Probably all that pulling people back
from the brink of death.Copy !req
323. It's just a guess.Copy !req
324. My own daughter's a doctor.Copy !req
325. She makes a hobby
of dismissing my concerns.Copy !req
326. She sounds smart.Copy !req
327. Did she tell you to say that?Copy !req
328. I've never met your daughter.Copy !req
329. That's hard to believe,
since you're currently shtupping her.Copy !req
330. We have a situation.Copy !req
331. Roach bombs, where?Copy !req
332. In Chloe's apartment.Copy !req
333. Who's Chloe?Copy !req
334. Look, we don't care
about your personal life,Copy !req
335. we're not gonna tell your wife...Copy !req
336. I honestly have no idea
what you're talking about.Copy !req
337. Guess who showed up
looking for Jack.Copy !req
338. Hey.Copy !req
339. - Hi.
- Are you okay?Copy !req
340. The EMT said you'd gone
to another hospital.Copy !req
341. They held me overnight for observation,Copy !req
342. I'm fine.
I had to come here to...Copy !req
343. I don't know why you did it,
but thank you.Copy !req
344. You're welcome.Copy !req
345. I should have brought flowers,
or something.Copy !req
346. You're like my guardian angel.Copy !req
347. No, I'm just a guy in a band.Copy !req
348. Maybe you've heard of them?
Suicide Season.Copy !req
349. One of my nurses gave me the CD.Copy !req
350. I haven't had a chance
to listen to it yet,Copy !req
351. but I have a feeling
I'm going to be your biggest fan.Copy !req
352. I'm gonna need you to cough.Copy !req
353. What are you doing?Copy !req
354. Getting a sputum culture.Copy !req
355. They obviously don't know each other,
so it's not toxic exposure.Copy !req
356. Just leaves my theory, infection.Copy !req
357. If you could just cough up a sample,
we can test for pathogens.Copy !req
358. Sorry. Sorry. There's nothing...
There's nothing coming up.Copy !req
359. Well, maybe I can help you.Copy !req
360. - It hurts!
- What's the matter?Copy !req
361. Round, equal,
reactive to light, it's not a stroke.Copy !req
362. No, it's not my head, it's my ears.Copy !req
363. "When I saw her lying there I thought,Copy !req
364. "'I can't just stand here
and let her die.Copy !req
365. "'She has her whole life to live."'Copy !req
366. He didn't jump because he was sick
or because he knew that girl.Copy !req
367. Even you have to admit that now.Copy !req
368. Yes, but that doesn't make him a hero,
it just makes him an idiot.Copy !req
369. The only reason
that headline doesn't sayCopy !req
370. "Moron crushed by train" is luck.Copy !req
371. Next headline is gonna be
"Moron goes undiagnosedCopy !req
372. "because doctors won't talk
about his ear pain."Copy !req
373. Ear pain fits with my theory.Copy !req
374. Jack has an infection
that spread to his mastoid.Copy !req
375. Great,
we'll confirm that in a weekCopy !req
376. when your secret cultures
have sprouted.Copy !req
377. Am I in trouble?Copy !req
378. I only get mad
when you waste my time,Copy !req
379. I couldn't care less about yours.Copy !req
380. But let me know when they come back
negative and I'll mock you.Copy !req
381. - You have a better idea?
- No.Copy !req
382. So I'm gonna pick one at random.
Acoustic neuroma?Copy !req
383. A tumor in the ear. Makes sense.Copy !req
384. And if it's putting pressure
on the breathing centers in his brain,Copy !req
385. it explains the lungs.Copy !req
386. The lungs explain the heart.Copy !req
387. Evoked auditory potential test.Copy !req
388. This counts as my time.Copy !req
389. You guys got this?Copy !req
390. I have been going out of my wayCopy !req
391. to be nice
to old Jewish ladies for months now,Copy !req
392. on the off chance
one of them could be your mom.Copy !req
393. You couldn't have mentioned
she's a shiksa?Copy !req
394. She converted
when she married my dad.Copy !req
395. You see, now is too late.Copy !req
396. I'm not blaming you for this.Copy !req
397. She's the one who ambushed you
to find out what you were likeCopy !req
398. because
"I never tell her anything."Copy !req
399. I'd have to agree with her on that one.Copy !req
400. Anyway, I obviously
can't come to dinner now.Copy !req
401. Obviously?Copy !req
402. She's crazy and she hates me.Copy !req
403. House,Copy !req
404. I need you
to come to that dinner for two hours,Copy !req
405. keep your mouth shut
and behave like an adult.Copy !req
406. Yes, you will be in hell,Copy !req
407. but I will feel better having you there.Copy !req
408. That is what a relationship is.Copy !req
409. We average our misery.Copy !req
410. That wasCopy !req
411. unexpected.Copy !req
412. I'm having a good day.Copy !req
413. I finally resolved that thing
with my sister.Copy !req
414. What thing?Copy !req
415. We had the worst fight over whether
it's time to put Dad in that facility.Copy !req
416. I've been sick over it for weeks.Copy !req
417. You never mentioned anything
about your sister.Copy !req
418. I actually talked a lot
about it with Phil.Copy !req
419. I should be getting back.Copy !req
420. It's fine now.
It's no big deal.Copy !req
421. Are you in love with him?Copy !req
422. I've never met him.Copy !req
423. Waves one and three
normal at 70 decibels.Copy !req
424. It's been 37 minutes
and everything is normal.Copy !req
425. House was wrong again,
he doesn't have a tumor.Copy !req
426. House doesn't usually accept
"we gave up halfway" as an answer.Copy !req
427. If I could get fluid closer
to the sources of infection,Copy !req
428. I could get better cultures,
prove my theory.Copy !req
429. I'm gonna set up
for an ear drainage and a thoracentesis.Copy !req
430. I'll only be wasting my time.Copy !req
431. She's a student.
Somebody's got to go with her.Copy !req
432. I saved that girl.
I did that.Copy !req
433. I'm really proud of you.Copy !req
434. This whole thing has made me wonderCopy !req
435. if things could be different.Copy !req
436. I have spent so much time
away from you.Copy !req
437. Yeah, well.
You love your music.Copy !req
438. But it's not just that.Copy !req
439. I think that I have beenCopy !req
440. afraid.Copy !req
441. That I would screw things up,Copy !req
442. that I couldn't be the man
you and Daisy needed me to be.Copy !req
443. But maybe I'm better than that.Copy !req
444. Hmm?Copy !req
445. I am going to quit the band.Copy !req
446. I think we'd like that.Copy !req
447. Uh-oh.Copy !req
448. - Hey, how's the ear pain?
- It's better with the drugs,Copy !req
449. but it still really hurts.Copy !req
450. We are going to take some fluid samples
from your ear and your lung.Copy !req
451. Can you get up?
Lean forward. Lean on this.Copy !req
452. Okay, this is Lidocaine.
It'll numb you up.Copy !req
453. Okay.Copy !req
454. This is weird.Copy !req
455. What's the matter?Copy !req
456. The pain in my ear is gone.Copy !req
457. Gone? Completely?Copy !req
458. Yeah. When you stuck me in the back.Copy !req
459. What does that mean?Copy !req
460. Okay.
I'm just cutting that for you.Copy !req
461. Is she going to eat anything else,Copy !req
462. or just the cheese and crackers?Copy !req
463. She's going through a picky phase,
it won't kill her.Copy !req
464. You're her mother.Copy !req
465. All I know is, when you
and your sister were growing upCopy !req
466. you ate what we ate, no excuses.Copy !req
467. Would you pass the salt?Copy !req
468. She had eggs this morning
and lots of fruit.Copy !req
469. Ah! That explains it.Copy !req
470. Explains what?Copy !req
471. She was a little vilder chaiah
at the park this afternoon.Copy !req
472. She wouldn't listen to anything I said.Copy !req
473. Must have been all the sugar.Copy !req
474. Actually, the whole sugar-makes-
kids-hyperactive thing is a myth.Copy !req
475. It's a study.Copy !req
476. I'm sure it's very interesting.Copy !req
477. I didn't read any studies,
I just raised children.Copy !req
478. It's not your fault.Copy !req
479. How are you supposed to keep up
with what she eats all day?Copy !req
480. You're never home.Copy !req
481. I'm sorry, I have to get this.Copy !req
482. Tell me you need me.Copy !req
483. Jack doesn't have cancer.Copy !req
484. God, that's awful.
I'll be right in.Copy !req
485. Masters stuck him in the back
with LidocaineCopy !req
486. and his ear pain went away.Copy !req
487. We don't need you here,Copy !req
488. we just need to figure out
why this guy's bodyCopy !req
489. thinks his ear is on his back.Copy !req
490. 'Cause his ear
used to be something else.Copy !req
491. When you're a fetus,
your cells are close together,Copy !req
492. when you grow,
they spread out and specialize.Copy !req
493. Sometimes the body screws up
and they keep the old area codes,Copy !req
494. still report to the same pain centers.Copy !req
495. Referred pain.Copy !req
496. Looks and brains.Copy !req
497. When you stuck him in the back,Copy !req
498. you cut off communication with
the pain centers in his spinal cord.Copy !req
499. So we just need to figure out where
the message is actually coming from.Copy !req
500. What about his thyroid?Copy !req
501. Hyperthyroidism
would explain all his symptoms.Copy !req
502. Or it could be his liver.Copy !req
503. Good.
We'll take a look at both.Copy !req
504. For the record, referred pain does notCopy !req
505. rule out infection.
If it's spreading...Copy !req
506. Were you like this when you
were working for your math degree?Copy !req
507. If Euclid had been a guest lecturer,Copy !req
508. would you have been the kid
sitting in the front row going,Copy !req
509. "Actually, you haven't proven
the Pythagorean theorem."Copy !req
510. Hello?Copy !req
511. All right.Copy !req
512. Mom?Copy !req
513. Thank you, sweetie.Copy !req
514. So say you two got married,
would you convert to Judaism?Copy !req
515. We haven't gotten that far, Mom.Copy !req
516. That's actually a really
interesting question.Copy !req
517. I'm an atheist.Copy !req
518. Honey,
half the Jews I know are atheists.Copy !req
519. It's about community.Copy !req
520. House isn't that big on community.Copy !req
521. And why do you call him House?Copy !req
522. The man's name is Greg. It makes
it seem like you're not serious.Copy !req
523. I'm just trying
to help you think about the future.Copy !req
524. You're a certain age now.Copy !req
525. The parade of boyfriends
can't be as amusing as it was.Copy !req
526. You need to settle down,
like your sister.Copy !req
527. Settling down isn't all
it's cracked up to be.Copy !req
528. Next week is Sam's birthday and I was
gonna take her to the Poconos.Copy !req
529. That's very sad.Copy !req
530. Perhaps not the best choice of topic
for a festive occasion.Copy !req
531. I just don't want Rachel growing up
thinking you're a slut.Copy !req
532. Okay. I got this.
First of all, Mom...Copy !req
533. Oh, my God.Copy !req
534. Did you sedate my mother?Copy !req
535. It kicked in just in time.Copy !req
536. She'll wake up
in a couple of hours, be good as new.Copy !req
537. Think of it as my birthday gift to you.Copy !req
538. You told me to keep my mouth shut.Copy !req
539. This was the only way I had a chance.Copy !req
540. Leaving aside
the fact that House is a sociopath,Copy !req
541. I have to admit
that I'm honestly relieved.Copy !req
542. Your mom is quite a handful.Copy !req
543. What? I feel...Copy !req
544. You've got to be kidding me.
You drug...Copy !req
545. Sorry. I honestly thought
you'd be worse.Copy !req
546. That was my gift to myself.Copy !req
547. I take it
Jack's thyroid levels are normal.Copy !req
548. Foreman is doing a liver biopsy now.Copy !req
549. Good.Copy !req
550. What's up with you?Copy !req
551. Nothing. I'm peachy.Copy !req
552. It's hard when you feel
like you've been replaced.Copy !req
553. We got a new puppy once,Copy !req
554. and our old cocker spaniel
just moped for weeks.Copy !req
555. Have you even had sex?Copy !req
556. We're not talking about me,
we're talking about you.Copy !req
557. No, you're talking about puppies,
and I'm not listening.Copy !req
558. She wants to do it all the time,Copy !req
559. but it has nothing to do with me.Copy !req
560. I'm just a piece of meat.Copy !req
561. Well, she likes someone else,Copy !req
562. and you've slept with other people.Copy !req
563. Uh...Copy !req
564. Why are you still together?Copy !req
565. I love her.Copy !req
566. We've been together for 22 years.Copy !req
567. I've never loved anybody else.Copy !req
568. I don't know how to not be with her.Copy !req
569. So you're never gonna cheat again.Copy !req
570. I don't know.Copy !req
571. That seems kind of selfish, doesn't it?Copy !req
572. Foreman found
diffuse inflammation in Jack's liver.Copy !req
573. Looks like autoimmune hepatitis.Copy !req
574. He's starting him on steroids.Copy !req
575. Isn't this nice?Copy !req
576. What's this note?
Does that sound like an A?Copy !req
577. Remember if I put my finger like thisCopy !req
578. without this do-hickey on it, it's an F.Copy !req
579. Hmm?Copy !req
580. Hmm.Copy !req
581. Can we read a book instead?Copy !req
582. Yes, we...Copy !req
583. Jack? Jack!Copy !req
584. Help him!Copy !req
585. Come on. Come on.Copy !req
586. Okay. Okay.Copy !req
587. He seized three times last night.Copy !req
588. We got him stabilized, but barely.Copy !req
589. If there was nothing wrong with
his brain before, there sure is now.Copy !req
590. Any particular reason
we need to be looking at the patient?Copy !req
591. Yes.Copy !req
592. Cuddy's mom is in my office.
And she looks mad.Copy !req
593. What did you do?Copy !req
594. Our patient also developed
a raging fever overnight.Copy !req
595. That means Masters was right all along.
This is an infection.Copy !req
596. Should we give you a minute to gloat?Copy !req
597. We still don't know
what kind of infection.Copy !req
598. It could be bacterial, viral, fungal.
Until the cultures...Copy !req
599. You are the worst gloater ever.Copy !req
600. Her starting those cultures
when she didCopy !req
601. means we're 24 hours closer
to the answer.Copy !req
602. "We're sorry
your husband croaked,Copy !req
603. "but at least
we were 24 hours closer to the answer."Copy !req
604. Let's narrow it down, shall we?Copy !req
605. Four days ago
the guy was face-down in the subway.Copy !req
606. God only knows what's in that sludge.Copy !req
607. Toxic fumes make him pass out.
Rat pee does the rest.Copy !req
608. If it's leptospirosis,
it's the fastest-moving case in history.Copy !req
609. Leptospirosis can turn into meningitis.Copy !req
610. I can't confirm any of this yet.Copy !req
611. We don't have time to choose wrong.Copy !req
612. It fits,Copy !req
613. and since it's the only idea
on the table, I say it's a winner.Copy !req
614. Start him on doxycycline.
No, wait.Copy !req
615. I'll do it.Copy !req
616. You guys have to go back to the office,
tell me when bubbie's gone.Copy !req
617. You a doctor?Copy !req
618. Sure.Copy !req
619. You're on new meds.
Go back to sleep.Copy !req
620. Am I gonna die?Copy !req
621. I hope not.Copy !req
622. 'Cause then I'd have
to go back to my office.Copy !req
623. Of course, if you do kick it,Copy !req
624. then you get to be famous
for another two, maybe three weeks.Copy !req
625. They're saying I'm a hero.Copy !req
626. Yeah, but, you know, in a few daysCopy !req
627. a panda bear will give birth to triplets
and we'll all move on.Copy !req
628. Oh, I'm sorry. You actually believe
that you are a hero.Copy !req
629. You should get yourself
some tights and a capeCopy !req
630. and you can run around Gotham
pulling babies out of burning buildings.Copy !req
631. Maybe you'll keep getting lucky.Copy !req
632. You're still the same guy
you were last week.Copy !req
633. Hey, how long are you gonna sit there?Copy !req
634. Could be hours.Copy !req
635. Hiding behind a sick guy, that's heroic.Copy !req
636. Look, I can explain.Copy !req
637. Sometimes I mix up my medication...Copy !req
638. I don't need you to explain anything.Copy !req
639. I think we both knowCopy !req
640. that I owe you an apology.Copy !req
641. Say what?Copy !req
642. I don't even remember
going to bed last night.Copy !req
643. I must have had too much to drink.Copy !req
644. I do know I can be difficult.Copy !req
645. You were a little bitchy.Copy !req
646. In the clinic,
you were a complete schmendrick.Copy !req
647. But once you knew I was Lisa's mother,
you held your tongue.Copy !req
648. That's because you love her.Copy !req
649. I still think you're a pain in the ass
with a God complex,Copy !req
650. and I'll kill you if you hurt her.Copy !req
651. But I'm glad she has you.Copy !req
652. We don't have to hug now, do we?Copy !req
653. What do you think?Copy !req
654. I've got a train to catch.Copy !req
655. I thought you were staying till Sunday.Copy !req
656. I'm coming down with a cold.Copy !req
657. Every time I stay
with Lisa or her sister,Copy !req
658. one of those rugrats gets me sick.Copy !req
659. Children are awful.Copy !req
660. Did she have a rash recently?Copy !req
661. No. What's going on?Copy !req
662. Feverish, itchy?Copy !req
663. No.Copy !req
664. What's she doing here, anyway?Copy !req
665. It's the middle of the morning.
Shouldn't she be in school?Copy !req
666. I'm keeping her out for a few days.Copy !req
667. There's been a little outbreak of...Copy !req
668. Chicken pox.Copy !req
669. Sorry, but if I'd let you finish
that sentence,Copy !req
670. that would have been
much less impressive.Copy !req
671. Chicken pox
is no big deal for kids,Copy !req
672. but it's a terrible, horrible,
no good, very bad deal for grownups.Copy !req
673. You think Jack has chicken pox?Copy !req
674. But he doesn't have blisters,
he's not itchy. And Daisy never got it.Copy !req
675. I know. Again, that's why it's
so impressive that I figured it out.Copy !req
676. 5% of cases present without blisters.Copy !req
677. The kid was just a carrier.Copy !req
678. I'm gonna start you
on anti-varicella gamma globulin,Copy !req
679. which will save your life.Copy !req
680. But it won't make me a hero.Copy !req
681. - Hey.
- How are you feeling?Copy !req
682. Like I'm not gonna die.Copy !req
683. I can't wait to take you home.Copy !req
684. The guys called.Copy !req
685. All this press
has got us a couple new gigs.Copy !req
686. Just a few more dates.
Three weeks tops.Copy !req
687. But you said...Copy !req
688. I know. I know.Copy !req
689. Three weeks isn't so bad.Copy !req
690. It's not three weeks.Copy !req
691. This is what he's always done.
Just one more tour.Copy !req
692. I'm sorry.Copy !req
693. The pathetic thing is, I let myself
believe that he could change,Copy !req
694. he could be this other guy.Copy !req
695. There's nothing worse
than loving someoneCopy !req
696. who's never gonna stop
disappointing you.Copy !req
697. Culture confirmed
Jack does have chicken pox.Copy !req
698. It just took six hours longer.Copy !req
699. Autopsy works, too.Copy !req
700. FYI, it turns out your hero is a loser.Copy !req
701. He's going back on the road.Copy !req
702. He still risked his life for that woman.Copy !req
703. That was impulse. It was easy.Copy !req
704. Dealing with family is hard.Copy !req
705. Wait, that's another thing I got right.Copy !req
706. How many does that make?Copy !req
707. And how many for you?Copy !req
708. I'm also kicking your ass at gloating.Copy !req
709. - Hey.
- Hi.Copy !req
710. I think we should get a divorce.Copy !req
711. You have feelings for him,
and I can't handle that.Copy !req
712. But it's my fault
you needed someone else.Copy !req
713. I keep hurting you.Copy !req
714. We love each other.Copy !req
715. I know.Copy !req
716. But are you happy?Copy !req
717. No.Copy !req
718. Then what are we doing?Copy !req
719. You know, you turned out
remarkably close to normal,Copy !req
720. considering the genes in play.Copy !req
721. Thanks.Copy !req
722. Here. In case your mom comes back.Copy !req
723. Happy birthday.Copy !req
724. You are a sweet, sweet man.Copy !req
725. You coming over?Copy !req
726. Yes.Copy !req
727. Oh, no, I can't.Copy !req
728. Wilson?Copy !req
729. It's bowling night.Copy !req
730. He'd never forgive me if I don't.Copy !req
731. No, screw it, I'm coming.Copy !req
732. No, no, no.Copy !req
733. I am not gonna be
responsible for that.Copy !req
734. You drugged the man,
you go bowling with him.Copy !req
735. But my chances for sex
are considerably lower with Wilson.Copy !req
736. Fine.Copy !req
737. Hey. You ready?Copy !req
738. Here's the thing...Copy !req
739. Well, it's about me, too,Copy !req
740. and I have my boundaries, Dina.Copy !req
741. And they're clearly being crossed
by you and your entire family,Copy !req
742. making hate pages...Copy !req
743. That's not true.
That has nothing to do...Copy !req
744. We all need improvements, Dina,Copy !req
745. and I've formed my opinion on you.Copy !req
746. - No, don't shush me, Dina.
- No, I will shush youCopy !req
747. because you're not letting me finish.
0:41,065 —> 00:40:42,942
But are you happy?Copy !req
748. No.Copy !req
749. Then what are we doing?Copy !req
750. You know, you turned out
remarkably close to normal,Copy !req
751. considering the genes in play.Copy !req
752. Thanks.Copy !req
753. Here. In case your mom comes back.Copy !req
754. Happy birthday.Copy !req
755. You are a sweet, sweet man.Copy !req
756. You coming over?Copy !req
757. Yes.Copy !req
758. Oh, no, I can't.Copy !req
759. Wilson?Copy !req
760. It's bowling night.Copy !req
761. He'd never forgive me if I don't.Copy !req
762. No, screw it, I'm coming.Copy !req
763. No, no, no.Copy !req
764. I am not gonna be
responsible for that.Copy !req
765. You drugged the man,
you go bowling with him.Copy !req
766. But my chances for sex
are considerably lower with Wilson.Copy !req
767. Fine.Copy !req
768. Hey. You ready?Copy !req
769. Here's the thing...Copy !req
770. Well, it's about me, too,Copy !req
771. and I have my boundaries, Dina.Copy !req
772. And they're clearly being crossed
by you and your entire family,Copy !req
773. making hate pages...Copy !req
774. That's not true.
That has nothing to do...Copy !req
775. We all need improvements, Dina,Copy !req
776. and I've formed my opinion on you.
(WOMAN SHUSHING)Copy !req
777. - No, don't shush me, Dina.
WOMAN 2:- No, I will shush youCopy !req
778. because you're not letting me finish.Copy !req