1. Hey.Copy !req
2. Hey, I'll be right there.Copy !req
3. Take your time.Copy !req
4. You mind if I get
a drink of water?Copy !req
5. No, no. Not at all,
help yourself.Copy !req
6. Not exactly
beach reading, huh?Copy !req
7. Do you understand
any of that stuff?Copy !req
8. Well, most of these
I can get through.Copy !req
9. But that one, I can't
get past the dust jacket.Copy !req
10. Where's Ted?
Laid off.Copy !req
11. Company's going
with per diem workers.Copy !req
12. You don't have to pay
overtime, health insurance.Copy !req
13. Wow, that sucks.Copy !req
14. I don't mind. Really.
I'm not a 40-hour-a-week kind of guy.Copy !req
15. Uh, if I could just
get you to sign...Copy !req
16. Right. Um...Copy !req
17. Hang on one second.
I wanna show you something.Copy !req
18. You're gonna laugh,Copy !req
19. but I swear this guy, James
Sidas, looks exactly like you.Copy !req
20. Wait, hang on a second.Copy !req
21. This guy is you.
I saw a profile Nova did on you.Copy !req
22. You're like the youngest
guy to ever graduate MIT.Copy !req
23. Standards were
lower back then.Copy !req
24. You got an IQ of 178.Copy !req
25. Published three books
and 35 papers,Copy !req
26. all before
the age of 18?Copy !req
27. Yeah.Copy !req
28. Sorry, I really
need to get going,Copy !req
29. so if I could just
get you to sign off...Copy !req
30. All right. I'll trade you.
I'll sign if you'll sign.Copy !req
31. I'm not that guy
any more.Copy !req
32. Come on, man.
This is the most exciting thingCopy !req
33. that's happened
in this place in years.Copy !req
34. Come on, don't be like that.Copy !req
35. I'm paying you
a compliment.Copy !req
36. It's not that. I'm...Copy !req
37. My hand's not working.Copy !req
38. Hey, hey.
Whoa, whoa. You okay?Copy !req
39. No.Copy !req
40. $2.32. Put it on Dr.
Wilson's tab.Copy !req
41. I don't know who Dr.
Wilson is, and we don't have tabs.Copy !req
42. Do you know who I am?Copy !req
43. No.
Good.Copy !req
44. But, sir...Copy !req
45. I got it.
It's all right.Copy !req
46. Thanks.Copy !req
47. Although, I should make it
clear that for two bucks,Copy !req
48. all you get is top half,
over the clothes.Copy !req
49. Any plans
for turkey day?Copy !req
50. Going to my sister's
for dinner. Why?Copy !req
51. Just making
pleasant conversation.Copy !req
52. I heard tell of
folks doing such.Copy !req
53. How about we
talk about this?Copy !req
54. Fifteen-year-old, recurring
migraines and blurred vision.Copy !req
55. Great.
Really?Copy !req
56. Sure. There's no point
putting a band togetherCopy !req
57. if we're not
gonna play any gigs.Copy !req
58. Hold on.
Take this instead.Copy !req
59. I was expecting
more resistance.Copy !req
60. That was the old me.
New me is static guarded and friction free.Copy !req
61. Enjoy your drumstick.Copy !req
62. Ready to
save some lives?Copy !req
63. Thirty-two-year-old courier,
ataxia, anemia, mild cough.Copy !req
64. CT was clear,
tox screen negative.Copy !req
65. What are you
so excited about?Copy !req
66. Why wouldn't I be?
Got all my starters back,Copy !req
67. plus a couple of first-class free agents.
I feel like Mike Tomlin.Copy !req
68. Probably not as much as you
do, but you get the idea.Copy !req
69. Ataxia and anemia, could
be viral, maybe West Nile.Copy !req
70. No fever, lymph glands were normal.
Anybody seen Wilson?Copy !req
71. Hyperbilirubinemia?Copy !req
72. Yeah, like that's
a real thing.Copy !req
73. Meningitis.Copy !req
74. Anemia's a stretch.Copy !req
75. Page Dr. James Wilson
at 558.Copy !req
76. What about
sickle cell?Copy !req
77. The guy's white.
Whites can get it.Copy !req
78. Come on. We get the tennis
elbow and all the money,Copy !req
79. let them have
sickle cell.Copy !req
80. TTP is a better fit.Copy !req
81. He's right.Copy !req
82. What, you thought I wouldn't
agree with him? Ever?Copy !req
83. Well, you didn't
agree with him.Copy !req
84. That's why he dumped you.
Oh, sorry, it was mutual.Copy !req
85. We're cool, okay?
Nobody's angry, nobody's hurt.Copy !req
86. Sounds passionate.Copy !req
87. TTP makes sense to me.
Not to me.Copy !req
88. What if he had
a history of...Copy !req
89. One big happy family.
TTP it is.Copy !req
90. Confirm with a blood smear
and ADAMTS13 antibodies.Copy !req
91. Dr. James Wilson,
please dial 558.Copy !req
92. Can you cure it?Copy !req
93. TTP isn't
completely curable,Copy !req
94. but the symptoms are manageable
with the proper treatment.Copy !req
95. Is this the treatment?Copy !req
96. No. First we need to do a blood
test to confirm the diagnosis.Copy !req
97. But he's gonna
get better?Copy !req
98. Honey,
that's what she's saying.Copy !req
99. I'm gonna be okay.
Don't worry.Copy !req
100. How can't I worry?
You're in the hospital.Copy !req
101. I'm gonna be fine.Copy !req
102. Are you sure everything
was fine before?Copy !req
103. I mean, given your
educational background,Copy !req
104. you'd think you could at least
find a job with a medical plan.Copy !req
105. We have money.
Don't worry.Copy !req
106. It's not that.Copy !req
107. It's just I want
to make sureCopy !req
108. we have all
the information we should.Copy !req
109. My husband wouldn't lie.Copy !req
110. It's okay, baby.
He's just doing his job.Copy !req
111. He just wants to make sure I'm not a
secret drug addict or an alcoholic.Copy !req
112. Or hiding a history
of mental illness.Copy !req
113. I work as a courier
because I want to.Copy !req
114. It's easy.
I don't have to think.Copy !req
115. It's too hard to think?Copy !req
116. No. Just unpleasant.Copy !req
117. No matter what I did, it
really wasn't good enough.Copy !req
118. Then I met Dara.Copy !req
119. She didn't care
how smart I was,Copy !req
120. or what I might accomplish
in the future.Copy !req
121. It was the first time in my
life that I was really happy.Copy !req
122. So I decided I would rather
be happy than smart.Copy !req
123. You all right?Copy !req
124. Sorry. I know you're
not okay. I mean...Copy !req
125. She left.Copy !req
126. Went back to Chicago.Copy !req
127. Any chance of
reconciliation?Copy !req
128. No.Copy !req
129. You sure you don't wanna
grab a drink after work?Copy !req
130. I figured we could talk about
the perils of dating doctors.Copy !req
131. I wasn't dating Cameron.Copy !req
132. I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to...Copy !req
133. I know what you're doing,
and I appreciate it.Copy !req
134. But I've got it
under control.Copy !req
135. That's what you said
about the Dibala incident,Copy !req
136. and obviously you didn't.Copy !req
137. And talking about it obviously
made things so much better.Copy !req
138. Didn't you think there was
something weird about that guy?Copy !req
139. Not really. In fact,
he seemed pretty normal.Copy !req
140. That's my point.Copy !req
141. Guys with IQs
off the chartCopy !req
142. are usually
completely abnormal.Copy !req
143. Speaking of House,
why did you come back?Copy !req
144. I mean, you must have
taken a major pay cut.Copy !req
145. Life's too short
to worry about money.Copy !req
146. Your wife feel
the same way?Copy !req
147. She's happy to cut back
on some things.Copy !req
148. Like sex.Copy !req
149. Why'd you come back?
Why wouldn't I?Copy !req
150. Like Foreman said, nobody's
angry, nobody's hurt.Copy !req
151. Schistocytes.Copy !req
152. That means TTP.Copy !req
153. Which is what we thought it'd be, remember?
This is a good thing.Copy !req
154. This is an easy thing, and House
doesn't take cases that are easy,Copy !req
155. which means
it's not TTP.Copy !req
156. And he wants to see how long it
takes us to catch up to him.Copy !req
157. Schistocytes
suggest TTP.Copy !req
158. Good, now what?Copy !req
159. Normally we'd try
plasmapheresis,Copy !req
160. but the patient has an
albumin colloid allergy.Copy !req
161. So?Copy !req
162. So that means we have to
give him a splenectomy.Copy !req
163. Yes, it does.Copy !req
164. Wilson?
No.Copy !req
165. Do you know
where he is?Copy !req
166. Not in here.Copy !req
167. You're sure you want us
to take out his spleen?Copy !req
168. Is that what
a splenectomy is?Copy !req
169. I thought it was an ice cream treat.
Yuck.Copy !req
170. So you do really
think he has TTP.Copy !req
171. You're not
just testing us.Copy !req
172. Yeah. Like I have
time for games.Copy !req
173. So, why did you
really take this case?Copy !req
174. Isn't it obvious?
I'm fishing for a dinner invite.Copy !req
175. Missed you
at breakfast this morning.Copy !req
176. And lunch.Copy !req
177. I had
a dentist appointment.Copy !req
178. You know where
Cuddy's sister lives?Copy !req
179. You see, this is why I don't
answer your urgent pages,Copy !req
180. because they're
not urgent pages.Copy !req
181. I've decided what I'm gonna
do about Cuddy and Lucas.Copy !req
182. I'm going to
break them up.Copy !req
183. Of course.
It's given me a purpose in life,Copy !req
184. a goal,
a raison d'etre.Copy !req
185. Albeit a selfish, mean-spirited,
childish raison.Copy !req
186. I think of it
more as benevolent.Copy !req
187. There's only two possible
outcomes for their relationship,Copy !req
188. they split or they
stay together forever.Copy !req
189. If it's split, then the sooner it
happens, the better for everyone.Copy !req
190. If it's stay, then my
meddling won't matter.Copy !req
191. In fact,
if they survive it,Copy !req
192. it might even make
their bond stronger.Copy !req
193. How you manage to
elevate your narcissismCopy !req
194. to beneficence
is masterful.Copy !req
195. And I've decided to do it
at Thanksgiving dinner,Copy !req
196. just 'cause
I'm sentimental.Copy !req
197. Dinner's at Cuddy's sister's,
which brings us back to...Copy !req
198. House, don't.Copy !req
199. I fished for an invite.
Cuddy wasn't biting, so I'll have to crash.Copy !req
200. I have no idea where
Cuddy's sister lives.Copy !req
201. Ask and thou
shalt receive.Copy !req
202. You can't honestly think
I would help you with this.Copy !req
203. Not help me,
help Cuddy, remember?Copy !req
204. If you don't get it, I'll be forced
to use more nefarious methods.Copy !req
205. Happy holidays.Copy !req
206. Ah.Copy !req
207. Looks great.Copy !req
208. So, he's all better?Copy !req
209. Probably be on
some long-term meds,Copy !req
210. and he's about
10 ounces lighter,Copy !req
211. other than that, he won't
even know it's gone.Copy !req
212. Did you hear that, honey?
You're gonna be just fine.Copy !req
213. When can I get out
of here?Copy !req
214. If everything checks out,
less than a week.Copy !req
215. Good. 'Cause those boxes
aren't gonna deliver colors.Copy !req
216. Colors?Copy !req
217. Green and orangeCopy !req
218. and ceiling.Copy !req
219. Mr. Sidas, do you know where you are?
Chewing.Copy !req
220. Jimmy?Copy !req
221. Shirt.Copy !req
222. He's stroking.
Call the cath lab, now!Copy !req
223. Oh, my God.Copy !req
224. Blood flow's restored, appears
to be no permanent damage.Copy !req
225. Good news is it turns
out to be an exciting,Copy !req
226. action-packed thrill ride
of a case after all.Copy !req
227. Bad news is we took out
his spleen for nothing.Copy !req
228. Thank God he's still got
his appendix and tonsils.Copy !req
229. So what looks like TTP,
acts like TTP,Copy !req
230. Tests like TTP,
but isn't TTP?Copy !req
231. CNS Vasculitis,
explains the ataxiaCopy !req
232. and anemia,
maybe the stroke.Copy !req
233. CT would have
picked up something.Copy !req
234. Hi, I'm Greg House.
I'm a friend of your sister, Lisa.Copy !req
235. Could be DIC.Copy !req
236. Lisa Cuddy.Copy !req
237. Sorry, wrong number.
You gonna ask?Copy !req
238. I'm sure he's got a perfectly
logical explanation.Copy !req
239. Can't be DIC,
no hemorrhaging.Copy !req
240. And I'm calling all 12 Julia
Cuddys within 100-mile radius.Copy !req
241. See? Completely reasonable.
Acquired pancytopenia?Copy !req
242. WBC's normal.Copy !req
243. Hey, Julia. You're
Lisa's sister, right?Copy !req
244. Are you sure?
You are number 12.Copy !req
245. Maybe she got married
and changed her name.Copy !req
246. Otis Campbell.Copy !req
247. Probably kept
her first name.Copy !req
248. The mnemonic for toxins.Copy !req
249. "O" for organophosphates, "T" for
tricyclics, "l" for insulin...Copy !req
250. Or as I remember it,
"Moist Place."Copy !req
251. That's "Place" spelled with
two "L's and a silent "B."Copy !req
252. Except the tox screen
was negative.Copy !req
253. Standard tox screen.
Unstandard toxins don't show up on it.Copy !req
254. Well, you two do an unstandard tox screen.
You two search his home.Copy !req
255. Otis Campbell's gotta
be hiding somewhere.Copy !req
256. Smartest guy
in the worldCopy !req
257. and this is
the best he can do?Copy !req
258. Maybe he's doing
what he loves.Copy !req
259. Delivering boxes
was a childhood dream.Copy !req
260. Soda, processed cheese,
marshmallow spread.Copy !req
261. Nothing in here is
capable of going bad.Copy !req
262. Ibuprofen, eye drops,
cough syrup.Copy !req
263. You want to come over
for Thanksgiving dinner?Copy !req
264. You never asked me
over before, why now?Copy !req
265. Just never thought of it.
But now that we're both on the team...Copy !req
266. And my wife left me?Copy !req
267. Is that a bad reason?Copy !req
268. No, but I'm okay.Copy !req
269. On both the food
and friends.Copy !req
270. Mice.Copy !req
271. Leptospirosis could explain
the ataxia and the anemia.Copy !req
272. But not
without a fever.Copy !req
273. You have someone
to talk to?Copy !req
274. Yeah.
Who?Copy !req
275. What, you want names?Copy !req
276. Look, you lost a friend,
I get it.Copy !req
277. But I'm not Kutner.Copy !req
278. Good. 'Cause Kutner never
used to come over for dinner.Copy !req
279. I'm going to pretend there's
something interesting over here,Copy !req
280. so you'll shut up.Copy !req
281. Actually, there is.
He's got sketches of atomic structure.Copy !req
282. This one is full
of math proofs.Copy !req
283. They're all old.
Nothing since '96.Copy !req
284. This isn't some
homework assignmentCopy !req
285. his parents
forced on him,Copy !req
286. this is passion.
Why would he want to stop doing this?Copy !req
287. Marriage destroyed
his soul?Copy !req
288. Ooh.Copy !req
289. Or maybe it was
just the booze.Copy !req
290. Thank you, Doctor.
You've been wonderful.Copy !req
291. As have you, Diana.
Be well.Copy !req
292. Thank you.Copy !req
293. You're helping.
Voluntarily.Copy !req
294. He's done six already.Copy !req
295. I figured you might
be getting backed upCopy !req
296. with the holiday season
and all.Copy !req
297. So which one of us slipped through the
wormhole into an alternate dimension?Copy !req
298. I have always loved
to travel. And paint.Copy !req
299. Lucky number seven.Copy !req
300. House, I know you're
trying to be nice.Copy !req
301. But I also know you're doing
it because you have an agenda.Copy !req
302. Wow. Sexy and smart.Copy !req
303. Lucas is a lucky guy.Copy !req
304. The question is, is this a
bad agenda or a good one?Copy !req
305. Either you're trying
to screw with me,Copy !req
306. or you're trying to show me
that you've really changed.Copy !req
307. So which is it?
I'm dying to know.Copy !req
308. What are you doing
for Thanksgiving dinner?Copy !req
309. Peace in our time!Copy !req
310. Only cost me 45 minutes
of clinic duty.Copy !req
311. This is a three-hour drive.Copy !req
312. Have you considered the possibility
that this is a fake address?Copy !req
313. You think she'd send me to a vacant
lot for Thanksgiving dinner?Copy !req
314. If she's smart.
She is.Copy !req
315. That's why I ran it through Motor Vehicles.
Good as gold.Copy !req
316. This cannot end well.Copy !req
317. Don't want it to end well.
You should come as my date.Copy !req
318. You're not gonna want
to miss this.Copy !req
319. The unstandard
tox screenCopy !req
320. was as clean
as the standard one.Copy !req
321. But we found vodka stashed
away in his place.Copy !req
322. What's with the ties?Copy !req
323. Makes me look adorably non-threatening.
Party or party-hearty?Copy !req
324. Liver failure would
explain all the symptoms.Copy !req
325. Party.Copy !req
326. So, the guy's a brainiac and his
secret drug of choice is booze?Copy !req
327. It's kind of pedestrian,
don't you think?Copy !req
328. Talk to him,
he's a pedestrian guy.Copy !req
329. With pedestrian alcoholism.
Liver biopsy can wait until after Thanksgiving.Copy !req
330. Yes, assuming the biopsyCopy !req
331. is going to tell us exactly
what we expect it to tell us,Copy !req
332. it can wait till
after New Years.Copy !req
333. On the other hand, Taub and Thirteen
can do the liver biopsy today.Copy !req
334. Why us?Copy !req
335. Juniority.
Welcome back.Copy !req
336. What do you
want us to do?Copy !req
337. Same as me.
Have a happy Thanksgiving.Copy !req
338. I'm not an alcoholic.Copy !req
339. Yes, you just hide vodka
around the house for fun.Copy !req
340. I drink,
just not a lot.Copy !req
341. Since when do you
drink at all?Copy !req
342. I have one shot when I get home
from work, baby. That's it.Copy !req
343. So why lie to
your wife about it?Copy !req
344. Because
it's not important.Copy !req
345. What difference
does it make?Copy !req
346. That you drink every day,
by yourself?Copy !req
347. I have one lousy drink,
okay?Copy !req
348. Have you ever
seen me drunk? Ever?Copy !req
349. No, but you've obviously been
drinking enough to hurt your liver.Copy !req
350. My liver is fine.
Hold still.Copy !req
351. There we go.Copy !req
352. This test is
a waste of time.Copy !req
353. Hey.
This wine?Copy !req
354. All right. Very good.
There, we got this...Copy !req
355. String beans?Copy !req
356. Julia?Copy !req
357. No, I'm the house sitter.Copy !req
358. They're in Hawaii
for the week.Copy !req
359. Happy Thanksgiving.Copy !req
360. Happy Thanksgiving,
you guys.Copy !req
361. Happy Thanksgiving.Copy !req
362. Cheers. Cheers.Copy !req
363. You must be Dr. House.Copy !req
364. I was told I should offer
you a turkey sandwich.Copy !req
365. Tuna salad.
Closest thing they had to turkey.Copy !req
366. Thanks. But I'm hoping I
can still get out of hereCopy !req
367. and catch the tail end
of dinner with my wife.Copy !req
368. Anything?Copy !req
369. No cirrhosis, no scarring,
no infection.Copy !req
370. Blood panel?
Elevated albumin, 7.2.Copy !req
371. That's it?
Everything else is fine.Copy !req
372. So it was
a waste of time.Copy !req
373. Unless,
it's not his liverCopy !req
374. that's elevating his
albumin, it's his kidneys.Copy !req
375. Renal failure.
Explains the anemia.Copy !req
376. If he developed
hyperkalemia,Copy !req
377. that would explain the
ataxia, but the stroke...Copy !req
378. Ischemic encephalopathy.Copy !req
379. Nice.Copy !req
380. Except now we have to stay
and test his kidneys.Copy !req
381. Key under the mat.Copy !req
382. There's no key
under the mat.Copy !req
383. Oh, right.Copy !req
384. You need to replace one
of your kitchen windows.Copy !req
385. I helped myself to
your wine cellar.Copy !req
386. I'll leave a buck
on the way out.Copy !req
387. You're not right for her.Copy !req
388. And you are?Copy !req
389. Less wrong.Copy !req
390. Ah.Copy !req
391. But then
I started thinking...Copy !req
392. What was I saying?Copy !req
393. You were saying
it's late and...Copy !req
394. She invited me.
She didn't know if she should.Copy !req
395. She was trying to figure out
if I really have changedCopy !req
396. or if I'm still the same
old SOB I've always been.Copy !req
397. But she always
gave me a chance.Copy !req
398. Eight hundred and
thirty-two chances,Copy !req
399. and I used up
every one of them.Copy !req
400. Eight hundred and thirty-two's
her limit, make a note.Copy !req
401. How about
a cup of coffee?Copy !req
402. It's just instant, but...Copy !req
403. I'm pathetic.Copy !req
404. I don't deserve her.Copy !req
405. Okay. Okay.
All right.Copy !req
406. Here.Copy !req
407. Maybe you should
crash here.Copy !req
408. It's a sofa bed.Copy !req
409. I love her.Copy !req
410. Patient's liver is fine, it's
his kidneys that are shot.Copy !req
411. And where the hell
is House?Copy !req
412. He left a message on the machine.
He's not coming in today.Copy !req
413. So what causes
kidney failure?Copy !req
414. Rhabdomyolysis.Copy !req
415. No edema.Copy !req
416. I trust you had
a wonderful Thanksgiving.Copy !req
417. I don't remember.
So I guess I did.Copy !req
418. Multiple myeloma.
No bone pain.Copy !req
419. You got drunk alone?Copy !req
420. No. That would
be a signCopy !req
421. that I need to talk
to you about this.Copy !req
422. Polycystic kidney disease.Copy !req
423. No UTIs or flank pain.Copy !req
424. Well, what if his cough
is more than just a cold?Copy !req
425. He hasn't been coughing.
It's in his history,Copy !req
426. and we found a new bottle of cough
syrup in his medicine cabinet.Copy !req
427. Cough could mean
Goodpasture Syndrome,Copy !req
428. affects kidneys
and lungs.Copy !req
429. Start him on immunosuppressors
and dialysis.Copy !req
430. We'll do it right after
we run it by House.Copy !req
431. He's not
answering his pager.Copy !req
432. Looks like he's
leaving it up to us.Copy !req
433. Us. Not you.Copy !req
434. And since
we don't disagree,Copy !req
435. you can save your fight
for another case.Copy !req
436. How long do I have
to be hooked up for?Copy !req
437. Four to six
hours a dayCopy !req
438. until we see an improvement.
What if you don't?Copy !req
439. Then we keep doing it
until he gets a transplant.Copy !req
440. You were sure
it was his spleen,Copy !req
441. and then you were sure
it was his liver,Copy !req
442. which he told you
it wasn't,Copy !req
443. and now you're sure
it's his kidneys.Copy !req
444. It's
definitely his kidneys.Copy !req
445. We just don't know
why it's his kidneys.Copy !req
446. Any word
from Cameron?Copy !req
447. Nope.Copy !req
448. I started seeing a counselor
after my diagnosis.Copy !req
449. She's really good.Copy !req
450. Why does everyone assume that
everyone works in the exact same way?Copy !req
451. We pretty much do.Copy !req
452. Our egos want us to think we're
all snowflakes, no two alike,Copy !req
453. but really, we all want
the same things,Copy !req
454. love, forgiveness,
chocolate.Copy !req
455. Well, what I want is for
everyone to leave me alone.Copy !req
456. How do I get that?Copy !req
457. What did you say
to Lucas last night?Copy !req
458. I know there were
a lot of consonants.Copy !req
459. I don't remember how I got
here, never mind what I said.Copy !req
460. Well, I just
talked to him.Copy !req
461. And he said he thought
it'd be betterCopy !req
462. if we stopped
seeing each other.Copy !req
463. Said he didn't
realize how muchCopy !req
464. there still was
between you and me.Copy !req
465. And he didn't want to get
caught in the middle of us.Copy !req
466. I was drunk.Copy !req
467. Whatever I said,
he can't really...Copy !req
468. I've had enough, House.Copy !req
469. I actually felt bad
about scamming you,Copy !req
470. but then you lived down to my
expectations, and then some.Copy !req
471. There is no us.Copy !req
472. There never will be.Copy !req
473. It worked.Copy !req
474. Please tell me you're talking
about a medical procedure.Copy !req
475. They split up
this morning.Copy !req
476. You're the very first
one I've told.Copy !req
477. And you think she'll start dating you?
I'm sure she hates you.Copy !req
478. But her eyes say,Copy !req
479. "How will I ever pay you
for that tennis lesson?"Copy !req
480. What a shame.Copy !req
481. They'll get over it.Copy !req
482. I meant for you.
I'll get over it faster than they do.Copy !req
483. I can't believe
that Lucas fell for myCopy !req
484. "I'd never say this
because it's so personalCopy !req
485. "except that I'm drunk"
profession of love.Copy !req
486. Second oldest trick
in the book.Copy !req
487. You're right.
It's his fault because he's stupid.Copy !req
488. He certainly is.Copy !req
489. You're stupid.Copy !req
490. Well, I'm rubber
and you're glue...Copy !req
491. He's not pedestrian,
he's stupid.Copy !req
492. Or at least stupider than he should be.
He's a DXM junkie.Copy !req
493. Dextromethorphan.
As in cough syrup?Copy !req
494. He wasn't taking it
for his cough.Copy !req
495. It's cheap, available
at your corner drugstore,Copy !req
496. and taken in high doses,
it's a dumb drug.Copy !req
497. Dumb drug?
He obviously hasn't...Copy !req
498. He's smart
compared to you,Copy !req
499. he's a moron compared
to what he was.Copy !req
500. Robotripping lowers the IQ,
it also causes brain damage.Copy !req
501. Unless taken with the
proper amount of ethanol,Copy !req
502. about one drink per day.Copy !req
503. He wasn't
abusing the boozeCopy !req
504. and taking the cough
remedy medicinally,Copy !req
505. he was abusing the cough meds and
taking the booze medicinally.Copy !req
506. Bravo.Copy !req
507. Why would you do that?Copy !req
508. If you had a gift, why would
you just throw it away?Copy !req
509. I didn't throw it away.
I just turned it down a little.Copy !req
510. When my brain was on low, everything
didn't seem so miserable any more.Copy !req
511. Life was bearable.Copy !req
512. I thought that
I did that.Copy !req
513. You do.Copy !req
514. Long-term abuse of DXM
explains all your symptoms.Copy !req
515. Even, oh, sweet irony,
your cough.Copy !req
516. Whole bowel lavage,
activated charcoal.Copy !req
517. We get all traces of it
out of your system,Copy !req
518. you'll be the unhappiest
little courier in no time.Copy !req
519. I don't think
I can live without it.Copy !req
520. You'd be surprised
what you can live without.Copy !req
521. Make him a genius.Copy !req
522. I can't believe it.
He looks so much better already.Copy !req
523. We were thinking
about calling GQ.Copy !req
524. Lavage has removed all
traces of DXM from his body.Copy !req
525. You're drawing again.
What is it?Copy !req
526. Just doodles.Copy !req
527. No, it's not.
Come on, Jimmy, I want to know.Copy !req
528. This is a toroidal
helicon plasma device.Copy !req
529. It determines
the amount of energyCopy !req
530. expended by
the subatomic particles.Copy !req
531. I'm thirsty.
Could you get me a juice or something?Copy !req
532. Yeah. Of course.Copy !req
533. I'm so happy, Jimmy.Copy !req
534. I told you.Copy !req
535. You know what the difference
between her IQ and mine is?Copy !req
536. 91 points.Copy !req
537. In relation, she's closer to
a gibbon than she is to me.Copy !req
538. Having sex with her would
be an act of bestiality.Copy !req
539. I assume
you didn't marry herCopy !req
540. for her skill in
Applied Physics.Copy !req
541. I just wish
she could spell it.Copy !req
542. You really think
you'd be happierCopy !req
543. with someone who
could spell better?Copy !req
544. No.Copy !req
545. That's the problem.
I'm the one who's a jerk.Copy !req
546. But I owe her everything.Copy !req
547. I want to want
to be with her.Copy !req
548. And when I'm clear, I...Copy !req
549. I can't.Copy !req
550. Fainting, dizziness,
shortness of breath?Copy !req
551. Sometimes.Copy !req
552. Is the wait
always this long?Copy !req
553. Only on days that end in "day.
" Diarrhea, weight loss?Copy !req
554. A bit.Copy !req
555. Don't you ever shave?Copy !req
556. Yeah, once a week.
How about you?Copy !req
557. Stomach pain, tenderness?Copy !req
558. Every now and then.
Are you this rude to all your patients?Copy !req
559. Oh, yes, don't think
you're special.Copy !req
560. So we got a lot of vague,
unverifiable symptoms,Copy !req
561. yet all the physical signs
are perfectly normal.Copy !req
562. What do you think I have?
I'm not sure,Copy !req
563. but I think
it's a lame job.Copy !req
564. What?Copy !req
565. You're a rat.
Insurance company sends you outCopy !req
566. to check on the quality
of medical care.Copy !req
567. That's ridiculous.Copy !req
568. Is it really?Copy !req
569. 'Cause you seem
a lot more interestedCopy !req
570. in asking questions
than answering them.Copy !req
571. Handwriting in your medical records
is obviously not a doctor's,Copy !req
572. 'cause I can
almost read it.Copy !req
573. And when you went out for a urine
sample, I looked in your purse.Copy !req
574. Found the list of questions
you were supposed to memorizeCopy !req
575. before you came to the clinic.
I was looking for gum.Copy !req
576. You're an ass.Copy !req
577. Put it in your report.Copy !req
578. I'll tell you what.
I'll give you 20 bucksCopy !req
579. if you'll pretend
that I'm notCopy !req
580. when we leave this room.Copy !req
581. Remember,
first ice, then heat.Copy !req
582. If you have any problems,
don't hesitate to call me.Copy !req
583. Thank you,
Dr. House.Copy !req
584. Wait a second.
Where's Cuddy?Copy !req
585. Gone for the day.Copy !req
586. Hey! Hey! Hey!Copy !req
587. Sorry, can't remember if I've mocked
you yet for being a male nurse.Copy !req
588. I think this counts.Copy !req
589. Fair enough.Copy !req
590. That isn't
the man I married.Copy !req
591. Yes, he is. He's just smarter.
Give him some time.Copy !req
592. I'm sure...
He hates me.Copy !req
593. His body is going through withdrawal.
He's adjusting.Copy !req
594. Maybe he never loved me.
Not really.Copy !req
595. Maybe we never really
had anything at all.Copy !req
596. Somebody help!Copy !req
597. I can't feel my legs.
I can't feel my legs.Copy !req
598. Anywhere. Nothing.Copy !req
599. We have to talk
about this.Copy !req
600. It's late. I'm tired.Copy !req
601. I know it's
a big pay cut,Copy !req
602. but I'll always have
the chance to make money.Copy !req
603. I won't always have the
chance to do this job.Copy !req
604. That's what you think?
That it's about the money?Copy !req
605. So it's that I didn't consult
you before I took the job?Copy !req
606. That was offensive, but
it's not about that either.Copy !req
607. So then...Copy !req
608. Can you give me
the first letter?Copy !req
609. When we got married,Copy !req
610. you were an intern working 30-hour
shifts, doing grunt work,Copy !req
611. and we both put up
with it because we knewCopy !req
612. that it was leading
to something better.Copy !req
613. In your private practice, you are the boss.
You call the shots.Copy !req
614. But now,
you're 40 years old,Copy !req
615. you're still
doing grunt work.Copy !req
616. That's what this is about?
You think I'm a wuss?Copy !req
617. He made you miss
Thanksgiving dinner.Copy !req
618. Vitamin B12 deficiency
gives us anemia, numbness...Copy !req
619. Not a stroke.Copy !req
620. If he has
a vascular malformation...Copy !req
621. Anemia's not macrocytic.Copy !req
622. Sorry to
inconvenience you.Copy !req
623. Dying patients can
be so thoughtless.Copy !req
624. Don't.Copy !req
625. Great comeback. Is that Oscar Wilde?
Come on, people.Copy !req
626. Bone marrow malignancy.Copy !req
627. Wouldn't produce
schistocytes.Copy !req
628. Lupus.
Gee, thanks for coming in.Copy !req
629. ANA was negative.Copy !req
630. What about you?Copy !req
631. You got any predictable
drivel you'd like to add?Copy !req
632. I think they've given
you enough already.Copy !req
633. At least they're trying, not just
sitting there like roadkill.Copy !req
634. Give me something!Copy !req
635. Give me something or I'll
get your ex-smarter halfCopy !req
636. on the phone and ask her.Copy !req
637. House...Copy !req
638. You're going to be
pressing charges?Copy !req
639. Against the ottoman
I tripped over?Copy !req
640. Against Chase.Copy !req
641. I'm pretty sure the
ottoman was acting alone.Copy !req
642. You free for dinner
this weekend?Copy !req
643. At least three other
people saw him do it.Copy !req
644. Mass hysteria.
Either night?Copy !req
645. I can't have doctors
punching each other out.Copy !req
646. Oh, my God,
who got punched?Copy !req
647. And more importantly,
for Chase's sake,Copy !req
648. I need to know if he's
able to handle himselfCopy !req
649. or if I should be
getting him some help.Copy !req
650. Chase couldn't
have punched anyone.Copy !req
651. He was with me when I
tripped over the ottoman.Copy !req
652. If you're not planning on eating
this weekend, maybe a movie?Copy !req
653. I'm not doing this,
House.Copy !req
654. It's not fun any more.Copy !req
655. Just do your job.Copy !req
656. I need your help.Copy !req
657. What happened
to your face?Copy !req
658. I was mowing the lawn
when the phone rang.Copy !req
659. You're a computer.
I'm gonna feed you data, and you analyze it.Copy !req
660. What are you
gonna feed me,Copy !req
661. 20 years of
medical knowledge, too?Copy !req
662. It's not gonna work.Copy !req
663. I know. But I don't
have anyone else to ask.Copy !req
664. It's Ionely, isn't it?Copy !req
665. It's not that bad.Copy !req
666. Then you're not
that smart.Copy !req
667. You ever try
to kill yourself?Copy !req
668. Not quickly.Copy !req
669. I did.Copy !req
670. Twelve years ago, I jumped off the
top of my eight-story buildingCopy !req
671. into a dumpster bin
the day before pick-up.Copy !req
672. I broke my collar bone,
my leg and three ribs.Copy !req
673. When I was in the hospital,
they put me on narcoticsCopy !req
674. and suddenly
everything was just better.Copy !req
675. I didn't feel
isolated or Ionely.Copy !req
676. That's where
I met my wife.Copy !req
677. She was so happy
and dumb.Copy !req
678. And I wasCopy !req
679. smart and miserable.Copy !req
680. You tell me who
the genius is.Copy !req
681. I fell in love with her
buzzed out of my headCopy !req
682. and I knew I wanted to
stay that way forever.Copy !req
683. Enjoy.Copy !req
684. Easier on your conscience
if I die an idiot?Copy !req
685. What's a conscience?Copy !req
686. Which ribs did you break in the fall?
Down the left side?Copy !req
687. Yeah, bottom three.
But that was 12 years ago.Copy !req
688. This probably cost me my marriage,
so it better be awesome.Copy !req
689. Ferrous oxide
contrast?Copy !req
690. It gets absorbed
by the spleen,Copy !req
691. unless he doesn't
have one,Copy !req
692. in which case it's absorbed
by the liver and fries that.Copy !req
693. You're killing him?Copy !req
694. You think I opened him up and
didn't take out his spleen?Copy !req
695. All organs do look kind of
the same, red and squishy.Copy !req
696. Oh, my God.Copy !req
697. Accessory spleens.Copy !req
698. Okay, that is amazing.Copy !req
699. Twelve years, eight stories
and a dumpster ago,Copy !req
700. he broke three ribs,
damaged his spleen.Copy !req
701. Bits of it split off, circulated
through his blood streamCopy !req
702. until they landed and
attached somewhere else.Copy !req
703. So, it is TTP.Copy !req
704. I just didn't remove
all of his spleens.Copy !req
705. Sixteen splenectomies,Copy !req
706. pretty sure he gets a set
of steak knives with that.Copy !req
707. I can outrun you.Copy !req
708. Sorry about the nose.
And the eye. And the eyebrow.Copy !req
709. Guess I deserved it.Copy !req
710. Well, if I thought that,
I wouldn't be apologizing.Copy !req
711. Your fist slipped?Copy !req
712. Everybody kept bugging me,
asking if I was okay.Copy !req
713. So you bust my nose to
keep people off your back?Copy !req
714. Pretty much.Copy !req
715. Making people even more
worried about you.Copy !req
716. Maybe. But at least they're
not talking to me about it.Copy !req
717. Fair enough.Copy !req
718. Cheers.Copy !req
719. Thank you.Copy !req
720. Don't be so grateful.Copy !req
721. You'll be delivering packages
for 70 years to pay for it.Copy !req
722. Well, thanks for our talk.Copy !req
723. It's been a while since I had
a stimulating conversation.Copy !req
724. So what are you
going to do?Copy !req
725. Go back to my life.Copy !req
726. Which one?Copy !req
727. The one that
has my wife in it.Copy !req
728. Robotripping.Copy !req
729. How does she feel
about that?Copy !req
730. Well, she doesn't have to know.
It's worked for 12 years.Copy !req
731. Tell your brain
I said goodbye.Copy !req
732. Einstein's giving
himself a lobotomy,Copy !req
733. and you're cool
with that?Copy !req
734. Ignorance is bliss.Copy !req
735. Hold that pose.Copy !req
736. I'll start with t-shirts and
mugs and see how it goes.Copy !req
737. Home early.Copy !req
738. What happened to him?Copy !req
739. You beat up House?Copy !req
740. Just one right hook.Copy !req
741. Why? What happened?Copy !req
742. You were right.Copy !req
743. I told him we need to lay down some
ground rules, it got a little heated.Copy !req
744. That's not what I meant.
Is he okay?Copy !req
745. Are you going to
be fired? Arrested?Copy !req
746. Everything's fine.Copy !req
747. Wow.Copy !req
748. Dr. Cuddy.Copy !req
749. Can we at least be civil?Copy !req
750. How's your nose?Copy !req
751. It's okay.Copy !req
752. Does your kid
like animals?Copy !req
753. I got tickets to
that holiday carnival.Copy !req
754. I hear they have
a nice petting zoo.Copy !req
755. I think I was
pretty clear before.Copy !req
756. I don't mean with me.Copy !req
757. Here. Take them.
Enjoy.Copy !req
758. No, thanks.Copy !req
759. They're not fake.
I didn't steal them.Copy !req
760. One of the nurses was selling
them for her kid's scout troop.Copy !req
761. I know it doesn't make
things right between us,Copy !req
762. but I just wanted
to do something nice.Copy !req
763. I don't want them.Copy !req
764. Okay.Copy !req
765. I'll see you tomorrow.Copy !req
766. They didn't split up.Copy !req
767. She wouldn't
take the tickets.Copy !req
768. Of course. Windtalker code
for "we never split up."Copy !req
769. House, she told you
multiple timesCopy !req
770. she wants nothing
to do with you.Copy !req
771. I wasn't gonna be there.Copy !req
772. She just felt guilty that I felt
guilty, so she couldn't take them.Copy !req
773. Either that or she didn't
want to appease you.Copy !req
774. These weren't reparations,Copy !req
775. just a simple gesture of remorse,
and she slapped it down.Copy !req
776. They didn't break up.Copy !req
777. She just wanted me to think
that, so I'd back off.Copy !req
778. Dare I ask what
you're gonna do?Copy !req
779. Nothing.Copy !req
780. I said they'd either break
up or they'd stay together.Copy !req
781. They didn't break up.Copy !req
782. And you're okay
with that?Copy !req
783. It is what it is.Copy !req
784. Good for you.Copy !req
785. House knows I lied.Copy !req
786. Why? What did he say?Copy !req
787. Nothing.
I could just tell.Copy !req
788. You gonna stage
another breakup?Copy !req
789. No.Copy !req
790. Oh.Copy !req
791. Hi.Copy !req
792. It seems like he's
going to leave us alone.Copy !req
793. Mmm. Why would he do that?Copy !req
794. I'm not completely sure.Copy !req
795. So, we have his blessing?Copy !req
796. I guess so.Copy !req
797. I made you some
eggplant Parmesan.Copy !req
798. And maybe House
isn't so bad after all.Copy !req
799. That would be nice,
wouldn't it?Copy !req