House 5x5

1. wow.

2. Yeah.

3. Come back to bed.

4. Gimme a minute.

5. You get 20 seconds.

6. Hey, what are you-

7. Female, late 20s, tonic clonic seizure.

8. Duration of the seizure?

9. A little over three minutes.

10. Does your friend have a history of epilepsy?

11. She never said.

12. My name is Dr. Cameron. You're in a hospital.

13. We're gonna take care of you.

14. - what's her name? - I don't know.

15. house.

16. eh.

17. I have a case I think you might be interested in.

18. Not now.

19. A 26-year-old woman had a tonic clonic seizure.

20. What about me speeding away

21. says to you "let's chat"?

22. History of fatigue, and two years ago

23. she had a retinal vein occlusion.

24. She's diabetic.

25. No, she's not.

26. And she has no history of hypertension.

27. It can wait.

28. I knew I should've set up a video camera.

29. Stay there.

30. Oh, my goodness.

31. I played a practical joke on my best friend,

32. and he's badly injured.

33. I wish I had learned this valuable lesson earlier.

34. I was waiting by my window for an hour.

35. Why are you late?

36. I had a breakfast meeting at mickey's diner

37. with the mercy people

38. to tell them...

39. I'm coming back to work here.

40. Sorry if it interfered

41. with your plan to maim me.

42. Donut's a nice touch.

43. It's just a way of saying "welcome back."

44. The seizure could be the result of dehydration

45. or something neurological.

46. Or the ecstasy you found in her system.

47. According to Dr. Hadley,

48. the patient took the drugs

49. about five hours before the seizure, so.

50. What does thirteen know about it?

51. Uh, apparently she was with the patient last night.

52. At 3:00 a.m.?

53. Oh, yeah.

54. Penthouse forum meets medical mystery.

55. Maybe there is a god.

56. Empty transient sex?

57. I've been waiting for you

58. to spiral out of control

59. ever since you got your huntington's diagnosis,

60. but this is more than I dared hope for.

61. Patient's seizure resulted from dehydration,

62. which resulted from a cocktail of alcohol and ecstasy.

63. Mystery solved.

64. Wait. Were you doing drugs?

65. Not diagnostically relevant.

66. Depends what we're trying to diagnose.

67. It's how steep of a spiral you're on.

68. Our patient hemorrhaged into her eye two years ago.

69. Also not diagnostically relevant.

70. Retinal vein occlusion was fixed.

71. Her doctor said it was a venous anomaly.

72. Is he in this room?

73. because if he's not,

74. i don't care what he thinks.

75. Unless he's a she

76. and she was there last night too,

77. in which case I care very deeply.

78. What if the eye problem wasn't with her vein,

79. but with her blood?

80. Would explain why she seized, why she's always tired.

81. She parties till 3:00 a.m.

82. That's why she's always tired.

83. Yet you seem fine.

84. She's visited four other doctors in the past year.

85. None of them found anything.

86. She's a hypochondriac who drank too much.

87. Blood clots could explain everything.

88. Makes sense.

89. Bone marrow's in overdrive. Too many platelets.

90. Sorry.

91. Thirteen,

92. go stick a needle

93. in your girlfriend's pelvis.

94. And no, that one wasn't a metaphor.

95. Suck out some marrow.

96. That one was.

97. I like to watch.

98. I can handle this alone.

99. You've already handled it.

100. That's why you need a chaperone.

101. Of course, i'm a very permissive,

102. understanding chaperone.

103. So feel free to ignore me.

104. You know, if you're in the mood to start kissing,

105. or groping, or showering.

106. You'll have to excuse dr. House.

107. He mistakes immaturity for edginess.

108. You're Dr. House?

109. I assume my name came up last night

110. in the form of a moan.

111. You had sex, then a seizure.

112. Could be a particular position or activity

113. that set it off.

114. That sounds like a valid medical theory, doesn't it?

115. I'm really sorry. Just ignore him.

116. Whatever you think we did, we-we did.

117. And then some.

118. Lights on or off?

119. Do you have a medical rationalization for that one?

120. Light sensitivity.

121. on.

122. Huh.

123. Figured she had more shame than that.

124. Did she talk dirty, or did you rely

125. on vague hand signals?

126. She's, uh, pretty direct about what she wants.

127. I'm learning so much.

128. Okay, score the score.

129. Scale of one to ten.

130. Don't answer.

131. Seven.

132. Finally got one right.

133. You want to investigate him

134. because he ate a donut?

135. He claimed he had a morning meeting

136. at mickey's diner.

137. Wilson loves mickey's diner.

138. He has the french toast tower

139. whenever he sets foot in the door.

140. There's no way he would've come to work

141. wanting more carbs.

142. He lied to me.

143. I need to know why.

144. What do you think you'll find out?

145. I'm worried that he might be a spy.

146. He's been gone four months.

147. ? The friendship has changed.

148. I'm just not sure if he's working

149. for hirohito or the new england patriots.

150. You played a practical joke on him.

151. He didn't laugh.

152. I need something to lord over him, a lie-

153. He didn't try to retaliate.

154. He moralized.

155. He always moralized.

156. He always moralized and got even.

157. He hasn't fired back.

158. Things always change.

159. And that sucks.

160. Yeah.

161. Find out where he was.

162. Should've known it wasn't a coincidence.

163. Found your letters.

164. You recognized house's name.

165. And you're the first patient I've seen

166. who actually enjoyed being accosted by him.

167. I would've told you, but-

168. What exactly would you have told me?

169. that you slept with me to get to house?

170. That you've been trying to get him

171. to take your case for over a year?

172. I'm sick.

173. No one even wrote back.

174. You used me.

175. - You use me. - My motives were clear.

176. You might've figured out my motives faster

177. if you bothered to ask my name.

178. I followed you to that bar

179. because I wanted to talk to you.

180. See if you'd help me get to house.

181. I didn't expect you to be so aggressive.

182. Was that seizure even real?

183. Why would I fake a symptom?

184. It would just make it harder for house to diagnose me.

185. There's nothing to diagnose.

186. Your biopsy results are negative.

187. Then it's something else.

188. Get dressed.

189. I'm discharging you.

190. House admitted me.

191. He obviously thinks-

192. House is using you as an excuse

193. to stick his nose in my personal life.

194. I'm tired all the time.

195. Some nights I fall asleep at 10:00

196. and wake up at noon, still tired.

197. Every doctor I see

198. tells me there's nothing wrong.

199. And that proves what, exactly?

200. that they're wrong, or that you're wrong?

201. Oh, come on. You expect me to believe-

202. Sit back.

203. Deep breaths. Try and relax.

204. Get the paddles.

205. She's gonna crash.

206. Damn.

207. We had to use paddles

208. to stabilize the patient's heart.

209. Eye issue, brain issue,

210. now a heart issue.

211. Sounds like a real case to me.

212. Yeah, I get it. I was wrong.

213. Can we move on?

214. You're just upset

215. because the whole time she was with you,

216. she was thinking of my huge, throbbing...

217. Diagnostic skills.

218. Drugs would explain everything.

219. This morning, you rejected drugs.

220. That's when I thought that thirteen was right

221. and was just jerking her around.

222. Cardiac arrest means

223. she could be a serious user.

224. Great.

225. What?

226. That means that something she did at my place

227. set this off.

228. Either she brought drugs in,

229. or she grabbed something from my medicine cabinet.

230. And that means my place needs to be searched.

231. Now, I'd be happy to do that myself,

232. but unfortunately that would be far less titillating

233. for house, so he's about to come up

234. with some convoluted medical reason

235. why I have to stay here while he goes through my stuff.

236. Patient's dad had bypass surgery.

237. Means she's a candidate for atherosclerosis.

238. She needs an ultrasound.

239. That was much less convoluted than what you just said.

240. I'm not giving you my keys.

241. If you want to do this, i'm going.

242. Who could pick a lock?

243. I'll go.

244. Make sure he doesn't steal any underwear.

245. You're a disgrace to your stereotype.

246. Move over.

247. Think you can pick a lock faster than me?

248. No need to pick.

249. Nice.

250. Steal from your employees.

251. Never.

252. I had my dick make keys

253. when I hired him to dick up the team.

254. Always imagined she'd have a sex swing

255. in the living room.

256. Give me my key.

257. Don't have your key.

258. You expect me to believe that you hired lucas

259. to investigate everyone except for me?

260. Waste of money.

261. I already know everything about you.

262. Thirteen had her purse.

263. That's gotta be the patient's.

264. Check it for drugs.

265. I call shotgun on the bedroom.

266. You know that I stole a car when I was a teenager.

267. You know that my mom

268. has alzheimer's.

269. You know nothing else.

270. Want me to have you investigated?

271. when did you get so needy?

272. Not needy.

273. Just don't buy it.

274. You always want more information about people.

275. Look where we are.

276. Purse is clean.

277. Last night wasn't the first time

278. that thirteen brought home some strange.

279. If you found her diary-

280. No toys.

281. You sleep with the same person over and over,

282. that's when you need accessories.

283. First time is plenty exciting on its own.

284. Unless...

285. You think an asthma inhaler

286. could be used as a sex toy?

287. There are ways of getting to know people

288. without committing felonies.

289. People interest me.

290. Conversations don't.

291. Because conversations go both ways.

292. - Like thirteen. - Like thirteen.

293. Brown recluse.

294. Found it at your apartment.

295. Their venom can cause seizures and heart problems.

296. Unless the ultrasound showed anything-

297. No.

298. What room did you find it in?

299. Bathroom.

300. Nice bidet, by the way. Very refreshing.

301. I don't have a bidet.

302. oh.

303. Spider's not the only

304. interesting thing I found.

305. Yeah, my inhaler is fascinating.

306. It's got its own extensive online following.

307. You have asthma?

308. When I was a kid.

309. It started acting up again when I moved into my new place.

310. You moved?

311. - Who cares? - He doesn't.

312. He's just surprised he didn't know.

313. You withhold things

314. other people would never bother to.

315. The move, a little wheeze,

316. whatever you thought was in my pocket

317. instead of your inhaler.

318. Maybe I should make a return trip to your place.

319. Spider bite doesn't explain anything

320. unless the patient was actually bitten by a spider.

321. I'll do the exam.

322. Don't be ridiculous. That would be inappropriate.

323. It'd be better if a woman gropes her.

324. There's no sexual tension that way.

325. I need you to stand up and take off your gown.

326. I think I would've felt a spider biting me.

327. Not necessarily.

328. You really need those after everything

329. we did the other night?

330. The other night I wasn't your doctor.

331. How long are you gonna stay mad at me?

332. How long are you going to be here?

333. oh.

334. Okay, then.

335. Look...

336. I really had no intention

337. of ever seeing you again.

338. So...

339. Having me end up here

340. is a little less than ideal.

341. I get it.

342. But... We just met.

343. How'd you know you didn't want to see me again?

344. It's nothing personal.

345. I'm just really not that into repeat performances.

346. I figured I wasn't the first girl you cruised.

347. Why is that?

348. You're awfully good at it.

349. You'd think with all that experience

350. that I'd be better than a seven.

351. We just met.

352. We were both drunk.

353. Not like there wasn't potential.

354. Little more practice for the both of us,

355. i'd say we're looking at a nine.

356. Easy.

357. But that would require a repeat performance.

358. You didn't have to move your hand.

359. I didn't.

360. My hand's on your hip.

361. You don't feel that?

362. no.

363. What does that mean?

364. It means it's not a spider bite.

365. Blood test confirms low potassium levels.

366. Explains the numbness in her hip.

367. It's not good, but I think we've got time

368. for at least one or two comments

369. about my personal life.

370. Which you just wasted

371. with that comment about my comments.

372. Low potassium means her heart problem

373. was a symptom of a kidney problem.

374. What caused the kidney problem?

375. Could be i.g.a. Nephropathy.

376. Not without blood in the urine.

377. P.s.a.g.n.?

378. Not with normal blood pressure.

379. Renal tubular acidosis.

380. Her kidney's don't filter acid out of the blood.

381. Excess acid drives down potassium,

382. causes kidney calcifications.

383. If it's rta,

384. all she needs is sodium bicarbonate for the acid

385. and surgery to remove the calcifications.

386. Ct her kidneys.

387. If you find calcifications,

388. we have our diagnosis.

389. What's he doing now?

390. he's playing that carjacking video game.

391. He'd get a lot farther if he didn't stop

392. at all the red lights.

393. Maybe he was doing something

394. he thinks I'll mock him for.

395. Like...

396. Just about anything.

397. You don't think it's that.

398. I don't think it's just about anything?

399. You don't think it's about anything trivial.

400. If you weren't worried,

401. you wouldn't be sitting in my car.

402. Maybe he's seeing a shrink.

403. That does not look like a pizza delivery.

404. Doesn't matter if it isn't.

405. Wilson doesn't buy his pizza.

406. There's eight units in this building.

407. There's got to be a pervert like me

408. living in at least one of them.

409. Yes, because you represent one out of every eight people

410. living in this country.

411. Apparently he has developed a taste for pizza.

412. Ah, things change.

413. Ct shows one more calcification

414. near the superior pyramid on the left kidney.

415. See it.

416. That, um, thing you were hoping

417. house didn't find at your place.

418. I, uh, I found it.

419. He did the cag test two weeks ago.

420. A number this high

421. means you have less time than you thought.

422. It's understandable you'd be upset.

423. Doesn't mean you have to self-destruct.

424. It's not noble for you to protect me from house

425. if you're just gonna judge-

426. There are things you should be doing.

427. Working out, improving balance and coordination.

428. Yeah, that sounds like a blast.

429. I'm having fun.

430. Cramming as much life into my life as I can.

431. You're doing drugs.

432. Staying up all night, having sex with strangers.

433. It sounds fun to me.

434. Good night.

435. Close the incisions.

436. She won't even have a scar.

437. Her o2 stats are dropping.

438. Did you nick something?

439. Procedure was clean. Bp's strong.

440. Well, she's not breathing. We need to intubate.

441. The breathing problem started

442. after we fixed her kidney problem.

443. Means the rta isn't the underlying cause.

444. Where's thirteen?

445. Traffic's bad. She's probably just-

446. Not here.

447. It's not her lungs.

448. No masses, no infiltrates.

449. Lungs are working, but she still can't breathe.

450. Distribution plant can't distribute

451. if it's not getting deliveries.

452. If her lungs are fine,

453. maybe the problem's in the supply line.

454. Airway collapse.

455. That could signal autoimmune

456. or some kind of dystrophy as the underlying cause.

457. There's only one way to find out

458. if her airway failed.

459. Make it happen again.

460. Stick thirteen's carpet cleaner on a treadmill.

461. Methacholine challenge.

462. And someone find the carpet.

463. Exam going on. 15 minutes.

464. Good morning, dr. Hadley.

465. Just spoke to my brother.

466. And by brother, you mean?

467. I mean my parents' other son.

468. wow. Same dad.

469. got a call last week from your p.i.

470. You lied.

471. You did have me investigated.

472. You've been taunting the team

473. with what you've learned,

474. but you never came after me.

475. Means you couldn't find anything.

476. You're right.

477. That's because

478. you haven't done anything stupid, spontaneous,

479. or even vaguely interesting since you were 17.

480. And that's just sad.

481. I found her in the clinic

482. giving herself iv fluids.

483. At least you could've let her finish.

484. She looks terrible.

485. She has a fresh nightclub stamp

486. on her wrist.

487. She's in no condition to practice.

488. Unless this is a prelude to an actual spanking,

489. there's no reason for me to be-

490. I want her to take a drug test.

491. You can't make me do that.

492. But I can suspend you until you do.

493. Because she went to a nightclub in her free time?

494. Or because she had sex in her free time?

495. Patient was undergoing routine surgery

496. for rta.

497. Didn't need thirteen here for that.

498. And I don't need you making my employees

499. punch a clock or pee in a cup.

500. Let's go.

501. Come on.

502. Thank you.

503. By the way,

504. the surgery was not routine.

505. Patient stopped breathing

506. and you missed a differential.

507. You're fired.

508. What?

509. You just defended me.

510. No, I just prevented you from getting a drug test.

511. Probably saved your career.

512. I'm already taking responsibility

513. for one doctor with a drug habit.

514. I don't have a drug habit.

515. The slutty party girl is fun

516. till she pukes on your shoes.

517. Then she's just a pain in the ass.

518. I haven't sat on this couch for four months.

519. It remembers my cheeks.

520. I Miss this.

521. Me too.

522. Me trying to work.

523. You interrupting.

524. Oh, come on.

525. Your patients could wait five minutes.

526. Get me caught up.

527. Come on, what did you do?

528. Travel?

529. Did you get a new hobby?

530. Did you meet someone?

531. Actually, yes.

532. I sort of started dating someone.

533. Great.

534. What does she do?

535. Is she... An actress?

536. no.

537. Why would you think that?

538. I just figured you'd

539. want something a little more...

540. Exciting.

541. She's not...

542. You're gonna find out anyway

543. because you're gonna meet her.

544. She's... A prostitute.

545. Used to be.

546. She made some mistakes.

547. Single mom, had some drug issues.

548. But... She's so smart.

549. She wants to go to law school.

550. And... I told her i'd help her

551. with tuition.

552. How long have you known her?

553. Oh, I knew you'd be like this.

554. I asked a question.

555. House...

556. You are a drug addict.

557. You go to prostitutes.

558. You can't be judgmental.

559. And yet.

560. Please, don't do this to me.

561. I was hurting, and I wanted to feel good.

562. I didn't expect it

563. to go this way.

564. i...

565. Amber...

566. Said that she wanted me to move on.

567. That she wanted me to...

568. Be happy.

569. And...

570. Debbie makes me happy.

571. If you're happy, I'm...

572. I heard.

573. Yeah.

574. I'm looking for my ticket back.

575. Sorry if I upset you.

576. I didn't want to invade your privacy.

577. It wasn't your fault.

578. Can you get me caught up?

579. Think you're gonna find something we didn't?

580. It's good for the patient.

581. Good for me.

582. Films are clean.

583. we ruled out hypertension.

584. Guys have her on a treadmill

585. running a methacholine challenge.

586. And I still think you've been acting like an idiot.

587. I know.

588. Did you talk about whether this lung field

589. looks a little dark?

590. It's probably just over-exposed.

591. Or her diaphragm's a little flat.

592. Could be a sign of hyperinflation.

593. Suggests a pulmonary obstruction.

594. Lung cysts.

595. They wouldn't show up on an x-ray.

596. Treadmill test isn't gonna close her airway.

597. It'll make her lungs explode.

598. Her throat's fine.

599. We made her airway collapse,

600. but it's not collapsed.

601. You ruptured a cyst!

602. Her lung collapsed.

603. Breath sounds on both sides.

604. Move.

605. Trachea's deviating to the left.

606. Nice.

607. Chest ct confirmed multiple lung cysts,

608. one of which burst during the treadmill test.

609. Luckily, thirteen figured out

610. the problem and was there to re-inflate her lung.

611. Lung cysts plus all her other symptoms

612. could be amyloidosis,

613. which we can manage.

614. Or pulmonary fibrosis which-

615. Thank you.

616. My employees can take care of it from here.

617. We need to biopsy the cysts.

618. You fired me

619. because I screwed up.

620. I just proved I can pull my weight.

621. All you proved is you know how to make an entrance.

622. House, she deserves another shot.

623. She found the cysts, saved the patient.

624. Who wouldn't have needed saving

625. if thirteen had shown up

626. at the differential in the first place.

627. Give her her job back, house.

628. Or what?

629. You're gonna quit?

630. Go do the biopsy.

631. I'm sorry.

632. How much clearer do I need to make this?

633. What does that even mean, "dating a hooker"?

634. He's an idiot with a messiah complex.

635. Savior to all who need saving.

636. That's why his first wife had a wooden leg.

637. Second wife was canadian.

638. He's the one who needs to be saved.

639. From you or the ho?

640. The ho's just using him for his money.

641. Wait. Bad example.

642. Normally in these situations,

643. i'd follow the girl,

644. find out something embarrassing about her to show him.

645. But since that's our starting position...

646. Proceed directly to the leg-breaking.

647. I'm not breaking her legs.

648. She probably has a pimp.

649. Or, at least, an older brother.

650. Or a younger brother.

651. Or overprotective sister.

652. Find her, find her family,

653. find client number nine.

654. Just get me something I can use

655. to force her to back off.

656. Sorry to interrupt your meeting, mannix.

657. Here's the result from the lung biopsy.

658. Why not men?

659. You're bisexual.

660. If you were just being self-destructive,

661. you'd be having random sex with men.

662. Better chance of getting assaulted,

663. catching a disease.

664. If this were just about getting laid,

665. it'd be a lot easier to pick up men.

666. Or ugly girls.

667. This woman's hot.

668. Which means you like the challenge,

669. the conquest.

670. It's the control that gets you off.

671. And controlling women is as close as you can get

672. to controlling what's gonna happen to you.

673. Here I thought I was just into boobs.

674. Instead of getting sweaty with a stranger,

675. why don't you try taking it to the next level?

676. Play god.

677. Tell a girl that she's got ten years to live.

678. She has lam.

679. Okay.

680. This is not a test.

681. You're not getting your job back if you can-

682. I know what it's like to get this news,

683. and no one should have to get it from you.

684. hey.

685. The biopsy of your lung cyst

686. showed smooth muscle cells.

687. That's indicative of a disease called lam.

688. What do you do for that?

689. Surgery to remove the cysts.

690. But...

691. They'll come back.

692. Little by little,

693. the cysts replace healthy lung tissue

694. until your lungs stop working.

695. I'm gonna die.

696. yes.

697. I'm so sorry.

698. They removed all the cysts they could.

699. That should help you breathe better.

700. How long until the cysts come back?

701. We don't know exactly.

702. I'm sorry.

703. Stop saying you're sorry.

704. I know you're scared.

705. I don't know what I feel.

706. You're gonna be numb for a few more days.

707. Then you'll go home and cry for a few weeks.

708. And then you get angry.

709. Start telling yourself nothing matters anymore.

710. You start doing stupid things.

711. Maybe you go out to bars

712. and pick up a bunch of women.

713. You're...

714. How long do you have?

715. Maybe a little more than you.

716. Maybe a little less.

717. I'll race you.

718. I was thinking maybe I'd come back later.

719. Sounds good.

720. Oh, god.

721. What's going on?

722. All her blood counts are down. It's a new symptom.

723. Aplastic anemia.

724. Does the word "fired"

725. have some whole other definition

726. that I'm not aware of?

727. I don't work for you. Fine.

728. Don't pay me.

729. Just let me finish out this case.

730. So you like her now that she's dying.

731. What happens if she stops dying?

732. There's no danger of that right now.

733. If we don't figure out what's wrong with her,

734. she's got days, not years.

735. Aplastic anemia takes lam

736. off the table.

737. Unfortunately, none of our other choices are any better.

738. Pnh with some sort of respiratory infection.

739. Best case gives her 12 years.

740. Or fast-moving langerhans.

741. A few months.

742. Or mastocytosis, which can cause systemic shock

743. and kill her in days.

744. go. Test for everything.

745. Not you.

746. You're just a visitor.

747. How's your patient?

748. She doesn't have langerhans.

749. That's good.

750. Actually, a cancer diagnosis

751. would be good news right now.

752. Do you think...

753. I'm boring?

754. yes.

755. You're saying that just to screw with me.

756. Yeah.

757. Why would you expect anything else?

758. I expect house to pull my strings.

759. I expect cameron to make me feel better.

760. I expect the new team to kiss my ass.

761. And I expect you to be honest,

762. 'cause you don't give a crap.

763. Yes, you're boring.

764. That speech was boring.

765. Thanks so much.

766. You don't let other people's problems affect you.

767. You don't let your own

768. problems affect you.

769. And it's the screw-ups that make us interesting.

770. You're never out of control.

771. Which is good, and...

772. Boring.

773. Never losing control also means

774. you're never putting yourself out there.

775. Never pushing your limits.

776. On the other hand,

777. you do have a tattoo, so...

778. Maybe I'm wrong.

779. i'm glad you're here.

780. she needs a bone marrow transplant.

781. Test results are back? What's she positive for?

782. Nothing.

783. But we've got a donor match.

784. Jumping to a transplant

785. when we don't know what she-

786. I know she has a blood disorder.

787. Could be pnh.

788. She needs a bone marrow transplant.

789. Or leukemia.

790. She needs a bone marrow transplant.

791. Or thalassemia.

792. - She needs a bone marrow- - Yeah, I get it.

793. But she'll never survive

794. total body irradiation.

795. So we don't radiate her.

796. Her marrow's nearly wiped out already.

797. Counts almost zero.

798. "almost" being the key word.

799. The new marrow would attack the old marrow.

800. She'll die from graft-versus-host.

801. You got a better idea?

802. She trusts you.

803. Go get her consent.

804. Sometimes I find out things you'd rather not know.

805. This was in his trash.

806. He's using.

807. You're back.

808. Genius.

809. Damn.

810. I knew the fake works was too much.

811. Well, you had no choice.

812. Where were you gonna go

813. after fake hooker girlfriend?

814. How did you know he was outside?

815. Cane prints.

816. I'm actually kind of insulted.

817. No way I'm a drug addict,

818. but you completely buy

819. that I fell in love with a prostitute?

820. You played to your strengths.

821. By which I mean you played to your weaknesses.

822. Oh, my god.

823. You invoked your dead girlfriend's name to sell me.

824. You're my hero.

825. Best $30 I ever spent.

826. It's 30? Did you keep her number?

827. Unfortunately, I killed her

828. and buried her in the basement.

829. Shame.

830. Hungry?

831. Yeah.

832. So, seriously.

833. Where were you the other morning?

834. Ugh, don't make me do this again.

835. It has nothing to do with you.

836. Then tell me.

837. We're going bowling on monday.

838. I'm coming over to play poker this weekend.

839. Nothing's changed.

840. You have to trust that.

841. Okay.

842. You're gonna keep following me, aren't you?

843. It's what we do.

844. Be outside my apartment at 8:00 tonight.

845. She said yes to the transplant.

846. Good.

847. You're in a downward spiral of destruction.

848. I can stop.

849. You're gonna keep spiraling.

850. Keep screwing around.

851. Keep slashing away at every person

852. who tries to help until no one tries to help anymore.

853. Till you hit bottom. Till you're dead.

854. Until then...

855. I can use you.

856. You're hiring me back?

857. You did good work.

858. I did good work yesterday,

859. and I was still fired.

860. What changed?

861. You wanted me to spend time with her.

862. See if I could still make a connection.

863. You connected with a diagnosis, not with her.

864. You're trying to save me,

865. trying to control me.

866. You're doing exactly

867. - what you think- - Cracks.

868. You're lips are cracked.

869. You been using your inhaler lately?

870. Allergies.

871. Don't deflect.

872. You always deflect.

873. Did she cry?

874. When you told her that she was gonna die,

875. did she cry?

876. She... Got upset. She-

877. Were there tears?

878. no.

879. Chopping an onion

880. releases a mist of syn-propanethial-s-oxide,

881. a chemical irritant which causes people

882. to have a very predictable reaction.

883. She has no tears.

884. It was either this or put on brian's song.

885. I didn't have time to stop by wilson's.

886. She has sjogren's.

887. It attacks the glands

888. that produce tears and saliva.

889. Also, by the way,

890. causes lung cysts and rta.

891. It doesn't cause bleeding.

892. It's like you and men.

893. Just 'cause you usually don't,

894. doesn't mean you can't.

895. And it doesn't cause cracked lips

896. in other people.

897. Lack of spit makes her mouth

898. a breeding ground for a fungus like candida.

899. Your asthma inhaler did the same for you.

900. Wiped out your mouth's immune system.

901. So she's got what I've got.

902. Just the opportunistic infection,

903. not the underlying condition.

904. Another life saved by girl-on-girl action.

905. I'm gonna be okay?

906. You're gonna be okay.

907. Methylprednisolone

908. to get the sjogren's under control.

909. And some artificial tears

910. to maximize the visual impact of this moment.

911. Spencer's gonna be fine.

912. And I hear you got your job back.

913. I'm gonna keep standing here until you say something.

914. I feel alone.

915. And she hasn't gone anywhere.

916. She gets to live.

917. I'm gonna go home.

918. I'm tired.

919. What do you think?

920. Oh, my god!

921. You guys shop here too?

922. Best nipples in princeton.

923. Why are you here?

924. Because he ate the donut.

925. I'm so sorry.

926. He must've followed me.

927. I'm sure.

928. Well, you're clearly not pregnant,

929. so either you're buying this as a gift,

930. or this is some kind of weird

931. "if you build it, they will come" moment.

932. I'm adopting a baby.

933. She asked me to be a character reference.

934. That's where I was the other morning.

935. I'm sorry.

936. I couldn't betray her confidence.

937. I didn't want anyone else to know

938. in case I didn't get approved.

939. Today, I did.

940. are you gonna congratulate me?

941. If you're happy, I'm...