1. Damn it. This is the last time
I'm turning around.
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2. Next time you forget something,
you're gonna be on your own.
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3. I can't play without a stick.
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4. - Then I guess you won't play.
- I don't care.
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5. I suck anyway.
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6. - Don't say that.
- I'm the worst guy on the whole team.
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7. - No, you're not.
- Then who's worse?
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8. Don't worry about anyone else.
Just do your best.
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9. See?
You can't name anyone.
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10. Zach, stop it.
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11. Then name someone.
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12. You can't, can you?
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13. Donny. Mark. Navid.
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14. You really think I'm better
than those guys?
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15. Yes.
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16. Hurry up and get your stick.
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17. Zach, get back in the car.
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18. I need an ambulance
at 860 Oakwood avenue!
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19. - Why is dad's car on?
- Get back in the car, Zach!
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20. Come on!
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21. Don't do this to me, Jeff!
Don't do this!
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22. I'm sorry.
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23. I just...
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24. I couldn't take the pain anymore.
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25. House - Season 05 Episode 12
"Painless"
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26. ShalimarFox, IceFreak
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27. Either I need a new watch,
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28. or mowgli is cutting
into your beauty sleep.
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29. I was up all night
looking at finance reports,
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30. and Rachel is doing great.
Thanks for asking.
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31. Proving that you'rea better foster mom
than a homeless drug addict.
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32. Departmental budgets
are due this week.
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33. I'm gonna need an extension.
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34. - Got some time next decade.
- Cameron already turned yours in.
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35. That's nice of her.
Two questions:
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36. why did she?
And why are you telling me?
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37. Same answer.
Now you owe her a favor.
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38. I'm gonna need an extension.
I got some time...
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39. I've got a d. y. f. s.
home visit on friday.
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40. And I've got a w-h-o-r-e visit on...
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41. Mama's busy.
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42. You two are gonna have to go
play outside for a while.
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43. 32-year-old male
with chronic pain all over.
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44. This is the favor?
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45. I was expecting something involving
whipped cream and tongue depressors.
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46. He's seen 7 different
specialists over 3 years.
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47. No diagnosis and no relief.
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48. Oh, I am fascinated already.
It's like I'm treating myself.
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49. He gets cured; I get to learn a valuable
lesson about the milk of human kindness.
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50. If I thought you learned lessons,
I never would've quit.
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51. - So you're wasting a favor because?
- I think you can help this guy.
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52. Drug-seeking patients...
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53. Don't attempt suicide with medicine
cabinets full of narcotics.
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54. - Sounds like fibromyalgia.
- Sounds like you don't work for House.
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55. Diagnosis that provides neither
an explanation
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56. nor a cure is not a diagnosis.
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57. American college
of rheumatology would disagree.
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58. - There are specific criteria.
- Which this guy doesn't meet.
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59. Putting pressure on his pain
helps, doesn't make it worse.
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60. He's got abdominal pain,
severe headaches,
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61. muscle cramps that come and go.
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62. He tried to off himself.
He's mentally ill.
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63. - Pain's probably psychological.
- It is not a sign of mental illness
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64. to want to be pain-free.
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65. It is if your solution
is sucking on a tailpipe.
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66. Sane people don't attempt suicide.
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67. Not ever?
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68. So if you were being burnt at the stake
and someone handed you a gun...
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69. I'd shoot the guys with the torches.
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70. Not one doctor this guy has
seen in the past 3 years
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71. has been able to find
what's wrong with him.
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72. - What does that tell you?
- It means they're idiots.
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73. It means
we got to start from the beginning.
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74. We'll do a pain profile to rule out
psychosomatic pain,
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75. search the home.
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76. Go home.
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77. Get a refill...
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78. And a doughnut.
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79. I'll help with the home.
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80. "Choose a statement in each group
that best describes
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81. how you've been feeling lately,
including today."
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82. I'm not depressed.
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83. I know what I did was stupid.
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84. "I usually sleep well.
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85. "I have some trouble with sleep.
I have a lot of trouble with sleep."
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86. I have a lot of trouble.
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87. It's up and down.
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88. Between the pain and the meds,
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89. his sleep pattern's pretty erratic.
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90. "He's a calm person.
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91. "He's more nervous than most people.
He's so nervous, he's miserable."
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92. He's definitely calm.
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93. Sometimes calmer
the worse the pain gets.
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94. I think talking, interacting
with other people makes it worse.
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95. - Interesting.
- Why? Does that mean something?
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96. No, it's just...
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97. we've seen that in other...
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98. patients.
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99. "He can do chores around the house.
With help, he can do chores.
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100. He can no longer do chores."
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101. He helps all the time.
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102. He's really strong.
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103. He used to play hockey.
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104. And he was really good too.
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105. "I believe there's hope.
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106. "Hoping for things to get better
is a struggle for me.
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107. Most of the time,
I feel completely hopeless."
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108. He still laughs...
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109. All the time.
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110. He was always optimistic.
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111. He still is. It's just...
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112. It's harder now.
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113. I guess...
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114. I pray for strength more than hope.
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115. There's nothing in there but
a pharmacy's worth of pain meds.
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116. This guy makes House
look like a Christian scientist.
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117. He's also more compliant than House.
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118. Kept all the inserts, had daily
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119. pill dispensers to make sure
he didn't mix them up.
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120. I guess if you're gonna go out in a car,
this ain't a bad one to choose.
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121. If I ever did it,
definitely wouldn't be like that.
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122. Don't worry.
I'm not making any plans.
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123. I certainly wouldn't know.
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124. Ever since we kissed,
you've been avoiding me.
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125. - No, I haven't.
- Just been busy.
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126. Metal polish could cause nerve damage
if he inhaled enough of it.
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127. Judging by the shine on that car,
he used a fair amount.
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128. Judging by the fact that he owns
a body shop and one of these,
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129. I'd say he knew not to inhale.
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130. Busy tonight?
We can get some dinner.
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131. I don't think so.
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132. So making out, okay.
Meals, too intimate?
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133. I don't want to kiss you
again either.
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134. - Why? Because we work together?
- No.
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135. Because I like you.
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136. - That makes a lot of sense.
- What doesn't make sense
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137. is me getting involved with anyone.
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138. I thought you'd gotten past that.
That's why you agreed to the drug trial.
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139. - You can't give up on life because...
- I'm not giving up on life.
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140. I'm just giving up on you.
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141. I finally feel like I have a grip
on things.
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142. I can handle this.
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143. What I can't handle is dragging
anyone else down with me.
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144. Does this look like quail to you?
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145. You think he's had food poisoning
every day for the last three years?
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146. Wild quail can be toxic,
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147. cause rhabdomyolysis,
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148. which would explain his pain,
as well as the elevated C.K. levels.
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149. So would the carbon monoxide
he sucked out of his car.
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150. It's not a toxic reaction.
It's a psychosomatic reaction.
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151. The pain profile showed an excessive
concern about his physical health,
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152. difficulty sleeping,
getting out of bed.
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153. He's not in pain because he's depressed.
He's depressed because he's in pain.
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154. Not according
to the pain profile you ordered.
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155. It's not a diet issue. We should
start him on antidepressants
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156. for his sake,
as well as his family's.
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157. - We're not diagnosing his family.
- We're not diagnosing you either.
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158. It's rhabdo.
Push I. V. fluids,
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159. check his urine, do a muscle biopsy.
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160. What muscle?
He says it hurts all over.
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161. Then she'll biopsy all over.
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162. - Where are you going?
- If Cuddy can come in late,
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163. I can leave early.
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164. If you need anything while I'm gone,
just ask Cameron to do it.
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165. So if he just stops eating quail,
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166. the pain will go away?
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167. If we're right,
it's definitely treatable.
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168. My arm!
It's starting to...
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169. He needs more medicine.
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170. B.P. is down. We need to get him
in trendelenburg position.
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171. - Can you hear me?
- He's arresting.
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172. We need a crash cart in here!
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173. He's not answering his cell either.
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174. V.Q. scan showed
a pulmonary embolism.
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175. Means the pain's not psychosomatic.
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176. It also means it's not
rhabdomyolysis.
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177. Untill now, his heart and lungs were
the only places he didn't have pain.
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178. Means it's getting worse.
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179. Got to let the phone ring
more than four times
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180. when you're calling a cripple.
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181. - Chronic pain, pulmonary embolism go.
- How'd you know...
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182. You called after midnight.
It's got to be a heart problem.
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183. Heart only would be consistent with
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184. Rhabdo, which means 13 and Foreman
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185. would be singing in the rain,
which means it has to be lungs as well.
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186. Hypercoagulable state
could cause pain and A.P.E.
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187. You think the blood clot was caused by
a clotting problem, that's helpful.
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188. What if it's a cancer syndrome,
like Trousseau's?
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189. Explains blood clots, multifocal pain,
lack of obvious physical signs.
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190. And why he's gone three years
without anyone seeing it.
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191. Check his chest, abdomen,
and pelvis for tumors.
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192. Why did he think only you two
would be singing in the rain?
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193. Bone windows are normal.
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194. Checking for cancerous masses
in the lungs.
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195. So, who do you know
who committed suicide?
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196. Hemingway, Goebbels,
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197. - Rromeo and Juliet.
- Your mom?
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198. Dad?
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199. Saying I wouldn't do it
under any circumstances
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200. means my whole family was suicidal?
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201. No, but categorically insisting
there are no circumstances,
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202. means you've got baggage,
personal betrayal, abandonment.
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203. Just because you grew up
in a Charles Dickens novel...
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204. It's people like me who don't do it.
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205. When your life sucks from the beginning,
there's nowhere to go but up.
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206. Thorax is clear.
No tumors in the lungs.
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207. The only betrayal comes from
father of the year in there.
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208. He has a wife, a kid. People
who count on him to have a pulse.
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209. Okay.
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210. Switching to high-res cuts
of the abdomen.
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211. My parents
live very happily in queens.
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212. They never attempted, thought about,
or attempted to think about committ...
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213. - What?
- There,
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214. along his diaphragm.
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215. That's not cancer.
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216. No hurry.
I already bathed once this week.
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217. I wouldn't want to look elitist.
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218. Can't do anything
till I write up an estimate.
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219. Fine.
Pad it all you want.
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220. Here's a check for the deductible.
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221. Don't touch the piano
and lock up when you leave.
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222. Sorry, deductible
doesn't apply here.
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223. I'm no architect, but
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224. I'm pretty sure the master
bedroom is part of the home,
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225. - which means the home warranty...
- Doesn't cover negligence.
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226. This pipe goes through the ceiling,
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227. over that wall,
and into your shower.
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228. It didn't burst.
It was pulled apart.
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229. Yeah, 'cause I'm clearly a guy
who likes to knock out
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230. a few naked pull-ups
before I greet the day.
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231. - You hang laundry in there?
- I'm about to hang a plumber in there.
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232. Look, there's no rust.
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233. There's no corrosion.
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234. I don't know how it happened,
but I know what happened,
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235. and it's not covered. So...
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236. Whenever you're ready to spend
the $2,200, give somebody else a call.
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237. I promise, I'm only holding your hand
to check for choreiform movement.
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238. I'm getting absolutely
no intimacy from it.
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239. I told you, it has nothing
to do with you.
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240. I know. That's the problem.
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241. There's 80 reasons we shouldn't date,
but you can't shut everyone out.
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242. You're gonna need help, support.
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243. Look at our patient.
32 years old, not dead yet,
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244. and already he's traumatized
his wife, his son...
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245. I'll bet they're cherishing every
traumatic minute he has left,
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246. wouldn't trade him for
the healthiest guy in the world.
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247. True.
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248. And they're stuck suffering
with him, hating every day.
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249. Only their pain has no prospect
of relief.
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250. - This a bad time?
- No. Yeah.
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251. No trace of cancer.
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252. But we did find edema in his intestines,
air in the intestinal blood vessels,
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253. - and House won't answer his phone.
- His intestine must be damaged.
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254. - The air's leaking into his body.
- if there's a blockage
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255. in the superior mesenteric, it could be
choking off blood flow to his intestine.
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256. Blockages all over his body
would explain his pain,
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257. why the cramps come and go.
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258. Do an angioplasty
on the superior mesenteric
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259. and find the other blockages
before he has another cardiac arrest.
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260. I'll help.
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261. Good thing we don't have
a suicidal patient
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262. with a horrific,
undiagnosed pain disorder.
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263. We did till we diagnosed it.
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264. We found intestinal edema
and air in the blood vessels.
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265. - Pain was vascular.
- If it was vascular,
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266. we would've seen uneven pulses.
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267. His blood pressure was uneven.
13 and Kutner are doing an angio.
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268. He had hemorrhages in his fingers.
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269. There's air in the intestine.
It has to have come from somewhere.
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270. Yes...
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271. It does.
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272. After we thread the catheter
through his groin and into position,
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273. the blood will start
flowing freely again.
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274. Will that take away the pain?
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275. It will be completely ineffective,
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276. and the pain
will completely go away.
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277. - Cancel the angio.
- He has air in his blood vessels.
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278. - If we don't open the artery to his...
- Where can air come from?
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279. Air can either com
from a breach in the lumen
Copy !req
280. in the small intestine,
or in rare instaes,
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281. air can come from the air.
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282. Teeth marks.
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283. I'm guessing from when he blew
into his I. v. tube.
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284. Air bubble caused the P.E.
and cardiac arrest.
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285. You tried to finish the job
that you started at home.
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286. Why?
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287. I lied.
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288. I want to die.
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289. Please just let me die.
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290. No.
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291. He's in a hyperbaric chamber.
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292. A dose of high pressure
ought to chase the air out of his blood.
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293. Is anyone keeping an eye on him,
because, the whole idea of suicide
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294. watch was specifically
created for suicidal patients.
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295. I realize how you might've
thought the name was just a coincidence.
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296. Are there any visuals in this room
that are key to us learng our lesson?
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297. 'cause the telephone...
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298. I'm inconveniencing you
because you inconvenienced me.
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299. - When was the last time you showered?
- Scent of a man...
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300. I realize you
haven't experienced it sober.
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301. If anyone should be able to handle
a depressed pain patient...
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302. - He insisted he was no longer...
- Apparently he lied.
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303. Didn't think I'd have to remind you
of that remote possibility.
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304. I have a d. y. f. s. inspection
in less than 24 hours,
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305. - so if you can't control...
- Non-motor seizures.
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306. Sorry, I was thinking
about the patient.
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307. What were you saying?
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308. The pain started in his abdomen
near his intestine.
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309. - The first symptom has got to be key.
- He's had multiple eegs,
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310. all of them cleaner and squeakier
than Cuddy's rubber nipples.
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311. What about a glycogen storage
disease like Mcardle's?
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312. It explains the pain.
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313. There's plenty of muscle cells
in the wall of the intestine.
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314. Fourteen is right.
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315. Go run an ischemic forearm test.
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316. Take the garbage out
on your way out.
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317. If you want a man to take your crap,
you have to marry him first.
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318. Or employ him.
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319. Good girl.
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320. I don't think I'm ready to run
a decathlon yet.
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321. If we can get you managing your life
a bit better, that'll be plenty.
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322. Dr. Hadley, whenever you're ready.
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323. You look better.
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324. Yeah, they said my basal
ganglian volume has improved.
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325. All I know is for the first time
in 2 years,
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326. I can drink a cup of water
without spilling it all over myself.
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327. Thank you for getting
me back in the study.
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328. I haven't even seen you in weeks.
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329. I didn't even know our appointments
were back-to-back again.
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330. Well, they weren't.
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331. Mine got switched this morning.
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332. We're gonna take
your blood repeatedly.
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333. If the increased train makes
your arm hurt more,
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334. - you have a muscle abnormality.
- If you're right about this...
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335. Mcardle's disease,
can you take away the pain?
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336. With gene-replacement therapy, with
lifestyle changes, we can reduce it.
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337. Keep squeezing the ball.
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338. - How long does he have to...
- You should get something to eat.
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339. - Don't worry about us.
- I'm not.
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340. - Please get out of here.
- These tests are all I can handle.
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341. - They're trying to help you.
- They can't.
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342. Then how about helping them,
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343. - you know, by not being...
- An ass?
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344. You have no idea what
I'm going through.
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345. I know it's better than what
you tried to go through.
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346. Sure, no baggage at all.
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347. - Where's the pain worst right now?
- Left arm.
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348. - Does it hurt more?
- Couldn't.
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349. And lactate level is steady.
It's not any kind of glycogen.
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350. Oh, god!
Pain jumped to my leg!
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351. That's never happened before...
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352. Your chest, your abdomen...
You feel anything there?
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353. My leg!
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354. It feels like it's being sawed off.
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355. Nice.
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356. What?
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357. Switching janice's appointment time
so I could see the skies
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358. - brighten like a lifetime tv movie.
- I don't know...
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359. Sticking your most improved
study participant in my face.
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360. Is that your way of
getting into my pants?
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361. I don't make the schedule, and...
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362. if I did, I wouldn't use it
as a social lubricant.
Copy !req
363. And this is the first I've heard
of janice improving at all.
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364. So, hey, thanks for the good news.
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365. Pain started in his abdomen.
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366. It's hopped from his left thumb
to his left leg,
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367. - skipping the trunk entirely.
- I need the name of a good lawyer.
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368. - We're getting sued?
- Probably. That's Cuddy's problem.
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369. Hopping pain, means it's something
in his brain, not his body.
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370. Except the pain's in two places
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371. that connect to two separate
regions of the brain,
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372. which means you're not using yours.
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373. Come on,
you're from one of the 12 tribes.
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374. You know must know
a ton of shysters.
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375. What type of lawyer do you need?
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376. I'll bring it up at the next world
domination subcommittee meeting.
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377. Didn't say I needed a lawyer.
I said I needed the name of a lawyer.
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378. Pain hopped to another
limb on the same side.
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379. - It's gotta be central...
- Could be peripheral.
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380. - If multiple areas of disc disease
- Were consistent
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381. Were consistent with
a completely spotless mri.
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382. Who represented the hospital when
you set that patient on fire?
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383. Chris carrick.
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384. Chris?
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385. That doesn't sound
like a very good lawyer.
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386. If we can't even resolve
body versus brain,
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387. - we're never gonna diagnose the guy.
- What was the name of the firm?
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388. Caddell and carrick.
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389. It's not like we can chop off his
head to see if the pain goes away.
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390. Why not?
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391. Need to cut off a guy's head.
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392. Got to figure out if his pain's
coming from his brain or his body.
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393. A stiff shot of lidocaine below
the brain stem
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394. should numb him all the way down
to his tippy toes.
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395. Hearing me say "no" over
the phone wasn't good enough?
Copy !req
396. I'm inconveniencing you
because you inconvenienced me.
Copy !req
397. That foster-care official
is coming in the morning.
Copy !req
398. If they weren't,
there'd be no inconvenience.
Copy !req
399. Do not try and force me to
choose between my child...
Copy !req
400. I'm forcing you to do your job!
Copy !req
401. - If you can't also...
- Fine,
Copy !req
402. you want to separate a patient's central
nervous system from his body.
Copy !req
403. If the pain stays, it's in his brain.
If it vanishes...
Copy !req
404. What about options three,
four, and five?
Copy !req
405. His respiratory system freezes,
he dies of infection, or he leaks fluid
Copy !req
406. like a firhydrant, which would
make him wish he were dead?
Copy !req
407. You need to scratch option five.
He's already there.
Copy !req
408. You preach objectivity, but as soon as
a patient comes in in pain,
Copy !req
409. all you want to do is look
under the hood.
Copy !req
410. You don't care if there's
a one-in-three chance you'll kill him.
Copy !req
411. If I don't diagnose him, there's
a one-in-one chance he'll kill himself.
Copy !req
412. I got to go.
Copy !req
413. Do whatever it is
you think is right.
Copy !req
414. Tammy, you said you were
gonna be a little late.
Copy !req
415. DYFS. is gonna be here in an hour,
and this place is a disaster.
Copy !req
416. Never mind.
Copy !req
417. This should numb everything
from your shoulders down.
Copy !req
418. Any pain that's
peripheral should be gone.
Copy !req
419. - What are you doing here?
- Just stretching my leg.
Copy !req
420. Carry on.
Copy !req
421. Bad pain day today?
Copy !req
422. About to get better.
Copy !req
423. Don't worry.
He's making yours a double.
Copy !req
424. I remember when the drugs
still made things tolerable.
Copy !req
425. I still thought
I had good days left.
Copy !req
426. Turns out you have
to live to find out.
Copy !req
427. - You don't have a family, do you?
- Left them all back on krypton.
Copy !req
428. You're alone.
Copy !req
429. That's why you can handle your pain.
Copy !req
430. No need to put up a front,
Copy !req
431. to be what anyone else
wants you to be.
Copy !req
432. You're having more bad days lately,
aren't you?
Copy !req
433. Yes.
Copy !req
434. Take a look at your future.
Copy !req
435. Let's hope the drugs work this time.
Copy !req
436. I really wasn't
expecting you till later.
Copy !req
437. Had a cancellation, so I thought
I'd knock you off the docket.
Copy !req
438. I'm sorry this place is such a mess.
It's been a difficult work week.
Copy !req
439. - Any guns in the house?
- No.
Copy !req
440. Pets?
Copy !req
441. Besides the ants?
Copy !req
442. No.
Copy !req
443. Nice bag.
Copy !req
444. - Pricey way to ditch the diapers.
- That's not what I usually...
Copy !req
445. I sort of panicked.
Copy !req
446. Mr. Carlton, if you'd just
give me a minute to explain.
Copy !req
447. Everything looks fine.
Copy !req
448. Really?
Copy !req
449. Dr. Cuddy,
you've got sufficient income,
Copy !req
450. a high degree of personal
and professional stability,
Copy !req
451. and you care enough to be embarrassed
by what a mess this place is.
Copy !req
452. Believe me, that puts you
head and shoulders
Copy !req
453. above most of
the foster moms I visit.
Copy !req
454. See you next year,
if you haven't adopted her by then.
Copy !req
455. My legs...
Copy !req
456. They're different.
Better.
Copy !req
457. - No pain at all?
- No, but less.
Copy !req
458. Four out of ten, maybe five.
Copy !req
459. Can't be.
Copy !req
460. If whatever is causing the pain is
in your brain, it's still a ten.
Copy !req
461. Periphery is zero.
Copy !req
462. It is.
Copy !req
463. Some of the pain is gone,
but not all of it.
Copy !req
464. What does this mean?
Copy !req
465. Maybe Taub was right.
Copy !req
466. It's psychosomatic after all.
Copy !req
467. Which one of you is House?
Copy !req
468. The big black guy.
Copy !req
469. Chris carrick.
Copy !req
470. Next time you use my name
in a threatening e-mail,
Copy !req
471. it won't be just a bill.
It'll be a lawsuit.
Copy !req
472. Can you blame me?
Copy !req
473. The last time that happened,
the guy shot me.
Copy !req
474. What if the spinal block triggered
some sort of placebo effect?
Copy !req
475. Guy's taken the finest
opiates blue cross can buy.
Copy !req
476. How come they didn't
trigger a placebo effect?
Copy !req
477. What happened?
Copy !req
478. He just started screaming,
do something!
Copy !req
479. Please, god,
do not let it be what his father has.
Copy !req
480. I think he's faking.
Copy !req
481. How dare you?
Copy !req
482. - What makes you think...
- House, the kid's in excruciating...
Copy !req
483. - Where is it?
- Where's what?
Copy !req
484. His idiot son
distracted the orderlies
Copy !req
485. so that daddy death wish here could
down a bottle of isopropyl.
Copy !req
486. Get him on dialysis,
or in half an hour, he'll be a corpse.
Copy !req
487. - You're hurting me.
- Remember the feeling.
Copy !req
488. Maybe next time you want to help pops,
you'll do a better acting job.
Copy !req
489. - You can't help him.
- Zach, why did you do this?
Copy !req
490. Because he's not dad anymore.
Copy !req
491. He just wants it to be over with.
Copy !req
492. Please.
Copy !req
493. Please, just...
Just let him die.
Copy !req
494. Fabry disease might be able to
cause central and peripheral pain.
Copy !req
495. - No angiokeratomata.
- Lightning pain from syphilis.
Copy !req
496. All the syph tests were negative.
Copy !req
497. - Why aren't you guys still talking?
- Because we ran out of ideas.
Copy !req
498. - Nothing explains this.
- Something has to.
Copy !req
499. Unless...
Copy !req
500. Nothing does.
Copy !req
501. So now you think...
Copy !req
502. Mine's a more interesting
version of nothing.
Copy !req
503. It used to be something.
Copy !req
504. We can't find anything because whatever
injury caused the original pain
Copy !req
505. healed a long time ago.
Copy !req
506. The only thing left...
Copy !req
507. is the drugs.
Copy !req
508. Opioid induced pain.
Copy !req
509. Pain and the drugs that treat pain
Copy !req
510. work by changing brain chemistry,
sometimes to the point where
Copy !req
511. pain receptors
read painkillers as killer pain.
Copy !req
512. Take him off the drugs.
Copy !req
513. We can't cure him,
so we're gonna torture him?
Copy !req
514. Torture is the cure.
Copy !req
515. Eventually his body
will recalibrate itself.
Copy !req
516. - Assuming you're right.
- Yes.
Copy !req
517. I find it confusing
to assume otherwise.
Copy !req
518. How would you like to
stop taking vicodin?
Copy !req
519. Good thing I'm not the patient.
Copy !req
520. It's open.
Copy !req
521. - Thank you.
- Is it too big?
Copy !req
522. She'll grow into it.
You can put it there.
Copy !req
523. I take it the home
inspection was pushed back.
Copy !req
524. I passed.
Copy !req
525. You do realize that's a good thing?
Copy !req
526. This place was a disaster.
Copy !req
527. I had to stash a dirty
diaper in my briefcase.
Copy !req
528. So you buy another briefcase.
Copy !req
529. I let House supervise himself.
Copy !req
530. That's like handing a 12-year-old the
keys to the liquor cabinet and the car.
Copy !req
531. You passed the inspection.
Copy !req
532. The patient lived.
Copy !req
533. The car is still in the driveway.
Copy !req
534. And the next time my nanny gets sick
when House wants to saw someone in half?
Copy !req
535. Did I mention you
passed the inspection?
Copy !req
536. I passed by their meager standard.
Copy !req
537. I failed by mine.
Copy !req
538. Why do women always do that?
Copy !req
539. Fail?
Copy !req
540. Create ridiculous standards
that no human could meet,
Copy !req
541. with your careers, with your kids.
You got to be more like us men.
Copy !req
542. Be lazy?
Copy !req
543. Blame others?
Copy !req
544. Get help!
Copy !req
545. Most men in your position
Copy !req
546. have a deputy and 2 assistants at work,
and a wife and two nannies at home.
Copy !req
547. You're not superwoman.
Copy !req
548. Don't be a martyr.
Copy !req
549. We'll be injecting
you with naloxone,
Copy !req
550. which will knock the opioids
out of your pain receptors.
Copy !req
551. If we'reight, your system will
recalibrate within a few hours,
Copy !req
552. - and most of the pain will be gone.
- Hours?
Copy !req
553. - I need those drugs.
- Not if they're causing pain.
Copy !req
554. - Then knock me out, sedate me while...
- That'll take drugs too.
Copy !req
555. We need to clear everything out.
Copy !req
556. - Please, I'll try anything else.
- That's what we're trying to stop.
Copy !req
557. So it's not your parents.
Then it's your wife,
Copy !req
558. - someone you were close...
- A colleague.
Copy !req
559. We were residents together.
Copy !req
560. I should've done more to stop it.
Copy !req
561. He had the mother of
all god complexes.
Copy !req
562. So busy treating everyone's problems,
he was blind to his own.
Copy !req
563. Helped himself to a vial of insulin.
Copy !req
564. It's a miracle he survived.
Copy !req
565. His friends
and family almost didn't.
Copy !req
566. He was a selfish ass.
Copy !req
567. It'll be over soon.
Copy !req
568. This is lunacy.
Copy !req
569. You're torturing
this guy on a hunch.
Copy !req
570. It's the only hunch we've got.
Copy !req
571. If I really wanted to torture him,
Copy !req
572. I'd manipulate a clinical trial in
the hopes that he'd sleep with you.
Copy !req
573. Are you suggesting I got Thirteen in
that trial because of some personal...
Copy !req
574. I think you got her in because
of your usual messiah complex.
Copy !req
575. I think you messed with the appointment
schedule because of your
Copy !req
576. "I like to have sex" complex.
Copy !req
577. I checked the logs.
Copy !req
578. You moved your most promising
patient right before her.
Copy !req
579. False hope being
quite the aphrodisiac.
Copy !req
580. How's it false if
the trials are showing results?
Copy !req
581. Well, if it were that promising, you
wouldn't have to change the schedule.
Copy !req
582. But, hey...
Copy !req
583. Hope springs eternal.
Copy !req
584. This was a cooking accident?
Copy !req
585. First time making cherries jubilee.
Copy !req
586. Awfully big fire.
Copy !req
587. If you ask me, some of
the portions in that recipe were off.
Copy !req
588. Sure hope it happens
to be covered under, say,
Copy !req
589. section three,
Copy !req
590. subsection 2.2, paragraph one,
accidental fire damage
Copy !req
591. in which case you'd have to replace
the entire waterline
Copy !req
592. to fix the sagging pipe.
Copy !req
593. I guess so.
Copy !req
594. Hate to have your next-door
neighbors end up with no hot water.
Copy !req
595. Lucky the fire escaped
your pipes entirely.
Copy !req
596. It's not working.
Copy !req
597. I know.
Copy !req
598. I started him back
on the pain meds...
Copy !req
599. - Which means you can leave.
- My son was right.
Copy !req
600. I tried for so long
to protect him from...
Copy !req
601. but I'm the one who's been selfish.
Copy !req
602. - This is no way for him to live.
- Until we get an answer, it's the way.
Copy !req
603. There is no answer.
Copy !req
604. - There's always an answer.
- Then what is it?
Copy !req
605. He's been here four days.
Copy !req
606. Three suicide attempts.
Copy !req
607. You don't have an answer.
Copy !req
608. When I saw you...
Copy !req
609. when I saw the cane,
Copy !req
610. I thought, "thank god.
The doctor will understand."
Copy !req
611. Because I sure as hell don't.
Copy !req
612. My husband thinks it's over.
Copy !req
613. So look me in the eye,
Copy !req
614. tell me you'd want
to live like that.
Copy !req
615. Then stabilize him.
Copy !req
616. Get him in decent enough
shape for the drive home.
Copy !req
617. So he can finally...
Copy !req
618. okay.
Copy !req
619. There's got to be
something we can do.
Copy !req
620. We can't just let the patient leave.
Copy !req
621. We didn't. House did.
Copy !req
622. Because he realized there's
nothing he could do.
Copy !req
623. There's always something we can do,
something else we can try.
Copy !req
624. You're insane.
You know that, right?
Copy !req
625. Because I have principles?
Copy !req
626. Because you paid more to bribe me
Copy !req
627. to lie on your claim
than the entire cost of the repair.
Copy !req
628. I don't care if I pay,
Copy !req
629. as long as the people who pocketed
my premiums for the last nine years pay.
Copy !req
630. I didn't break the pipe.
Copy !req
631. Whatever.
Copy !req
632. If you want to stick it to the man,
that's fine by me.
Copy !req
633. - You happy?
- Nope, but I'm right.
Copy !req
634. Lock up on your way out.
Copy !req
635. And don't touch the piano.
Copy !req
636. Testicles.
What do they make you think of?
Copy !req
637. Stds, testosterone issues,
that summer on fire island.
Copy !req
638. Oh, so close.
Copy !req
639. The correct answer is epilepsy.
Copy !req
640. Epilepsy doesn't cause chronic pain.
Copy !req
641. It does if it spreads
to the sensory region of the brain,
Copy !req
642. - then rewires the pain neurons.
- Would've shown up on an eeg.
Copy !req
643. Not if the seizures are in a place
you can't see on an eeg,
Copy !req
644. a place too deep in the brain,
Copy !req
645. like the area that controls
the muscles supporting the...
Copy !req
646. testicles.
Copy !req
647. Feels like you got kicked in the nads,
doesn't it?
Copy !req
648. The abdominal pain,
how it all started.
Copy !req
649. It wasn't the stomach.
Copy !req
650. It was lower, right?
Copy !req
651. It's everywhere.
Copy !req
652. But when it first started.
Copy !req
653. It started in the stomach...
Copy !req
654. - Cramps
- Like bad gas, or...
Copy !req
655. a permeating pain
Copy !req
656. like your kidneys are being
pulled out through your scrotum.
Copy !req
657. Why?
Copy !req
658. Because epilepsy is treatable.
Copy !req
659. Looks like we shot
the guys with the torches.
Copy !req
660. Yeah.
Copy !req
661. Pays to hang around.
Copy !req
662. That selfish ass
with the god complex
Copy !req
663. who almost made
the stupidest decision of his life...
Copy !req
664. wasn't your colleague, was it?
Copy !req
665. It was you.
Copy !req
666. No.
Copy !req
667. See you tomorrow.
Copy !req
668. You're here early.
Copy !req
669. I'm feeling better.
Copy !req
670. - What's wrong?
- I. v.'s leaking a little.
Copy !req
671. It's no big deal.
Copy !req
672. I'll be right back.
Copy !req
673. Foreman.
Copy !req
674. You busy tonight?
Copy !req
675. No.
Copy !req
676. Rita, the spike on Dr. Hadley's I. V.
Bag wasn't pushed in all the way.
Copy !req
677. - I don't want any dosing errors.
- Sorry.
Copy !req
678. It won't happen again.
Copy !req
679. It stinks, doesn't it?
Copy !req
680. - What?
- The medication.
Copy !req
681. When we switch out the bags,
you can smell it. It's disgusting.
Copy !req
682. I didn't smell anything.
Copy !req
683. She must be on the placebo, then.
Copy !req
684. You offered to do House's budget
Copy !req
685. because you wanted him to owe you,
wanted him to take that case.
Copy !req
686. - Why?
- I thought it would help House...
Copy !req
687. seeing someone worse off than him,
possibly curing a guy
Copy !req
688. who has even less
to look forward to.
Copy !req
689. Can I ask you something?
Copy !req
690. How would you like my job?
Copy !req