House 5x10

1. Do you want a lean body for summer?

2. Well, the time to start is now.

3. No gimmicks, no crash diets, and absolutely no drugs.

4. Think healthy and be healthy. You can start now.

5. Just pick up the phone and become the best you, you can be.

6. Cut! Going again.

7. Sorry, did I mess up the commercial?

8. - No, it's fine. Are you okay? - I think it's cramps.

9. Oh, I have burning on my side.

10. Sit down, take a few minutes, and catch your breath.

11. - Everybody else keep running! - We're not filming.

12. We don't do this for the cameras. We do it for ourselves.

13. - We can't go with him sitting there. - Fine, but that felt phony.

14. At least let me get a little workout.

15. Maybe if I'm breathing as hard as they are,

16. I won't seem like such an evil task master.

17. OK, take five, guys.

18. - How you feeling? - I think I'm ready to do this.

19. You sure? That's it. That's the way to fight through.

20. Concentrate on those knees.

21. Lean into it. And lift.

22. - Lifting. - Come on, push it!

23. Come on, you're almost at the top.

24. Those eight steps are the difference between fat and thin.

25. Seven, six,

26. five, four!

27. One more!

28. Nice job!

29. You feel that burn?

30. That's your body carving out its new shape.

31. - New shape - Don't sit.

32. Just take it slow on the way down.

33. Oh, boy.

34. Are you OK?

35. You okay?

36. Any idea why we're getting half as many requests for you as usual?

37. Democrats'health care plan?

38. At least we have one case that looks intriguing.

39. 30-year-old fitness trainer suddenly can't breathe.

40. Collapses and breaks her ankle.

41. That's it?

42. You're not gonna argue why this case is beneath you?

43. No point. I'm in an elevator. Can't run away.

44. You can't run away anyway.

45. That's just mean.

46. Why are we still together?

47. We are going to our office.

48. Pronoun confusion.

49. Starts kicking in once you pass child-bearing age.

50. Well, that's just mean. My office was recently destroyed.

51. I thought I'd use the office of the doctor directly responsible.

52. The patient holding the gun to my head was the one directly responsible.

53. My desk won't fit in his cell.

54. You can use our outer office.

55. Where's Foreman and Thirteen?

56. Down in the GRC.

57. - She started her clinical trials today. - What's Cuddy doing in your office?

58. Other than throwing off the feng shui with her ass

59. that faces all eight sides of the bagua at once?

60. These walls aren't soundproof.

61. I'm well aware.

62. Normal CT means that her lung problem

63. has the distinction of having nothing to do with her lungs.

64. Steroids... No one looks this fit without cheating.

65. Anabolic steroids hack away at the immune system,

66. left her open to a pulmonary infection.

67. Muscles and curves.

68. My penis is so confused.

69. She's not on steroids. Her program's all about getting

70. in shape naturally, exercising, eating right.

71. And you know this because?

72. She has infomercials to sell her dvds.

73. What? I'm up late a lot.

74. And you actually believe what you see on tv.

75. - Go run the labs. - The labs are back.

76. And there's no sign of steroid use.

77. Can someone please read her file?

78. Can someone please stop backseat differentialating?

79. What about allergies?

80. She goes jogging every morning. Inhales car fumes during rush hour.

81. Perfect, except that she was jogging half a mile from the nearest road.

82. In the cold.

83. Cold air hits the lungs, sets off an attack.

84. - Exercise-induced asthma. - Nice try.

85. Except EIA doesn't account for the elevated BP,

86. if you'd read the file.

87. Come on.

88. Before the shrieking harpy melts my brain.

89. - Her BP's fine. - I know.

90. Exercise-induced asthma actually fits.

91. I know. You know. She can't know.

92. The only good way to test for EIA

93. is to recreate the conditions in which the attack occurred.

94. But we can't exactly make her run out in the cold on a broken ankle.

95. Get creative.

96. It's gonna be okay.

97. Any shortness of breath? Tightness in your chest?

98. - Feeling pretty good actually. - Not even breathing hard.

99. O2 stats and lung capacity are well within range.

100. Your cuff's slipping down. You want to stop?

101. I'd rather not. Haven't had any exercise in two days.

102. Take it you don't get a lot of fat in your diet.

103. I take it from your tone you think that's a bad thing.

104. - Do you ever indulge? - There's more to life than indulging

105. - your every whim. - I didn't say every.

106. But a whim every now and then can make life a little...

107. You okay? Trouble breathing?

108. No, I feel fine. Why?

109. No pulse.

110. This isn't asthma.

111. There a lot of other people in the trial?

112. I'm taking over the people that already started it at mercy.

113. So pretty full.

114. Stop.

115. One more time. No talking.

116. I shouldn't be here.

117. It's nepotism.

118. I know the guy running the drug trials, so I get a spot.

119. You have huntington's, so you get a spot.

120. One more time.

121. Just the fingers. No mouth.

122. The point of this thing is to improve neural cell longevity.

123. Which doesn't matter before symptoms. You should give my...

124. Shut up.

125. You can stop feeling guilty.

126. Your best tapping rate was 004 taps per millisecond.

127. Means your nerves have started degenerating.

128. You wanna work in here?

129. Fine.

130. Me too.

131. We'll split the desk, 50-50.

132. That side's yours. This side's mine.

133. You're right.

134. There's plenty of space here. Neither one of us needs all of it.

135. So that's your strategy. Taking the high road.

136. It's not gonna work.

137. Did you say something?

138. I couldn't hear you from all the way over here on my side of the desk.

139. - Patient's heart stopped. - We shocked her back to sinus rhythm.

140. She's stable. Test didn't set it off. Her EKG was normal.

141. She's consistent.

142. The lung problems had nothing to do with her lungs.

143. A heart problem that has nothing do with her heart.

144. Something is strangling her system.

145. Carcinoid tumor?

146. Find it, cut it out.

147. Can a leaking breast implant cause joint pain?

148. No.

149. And she clearly doesn't have implants.

150. Or joint pain. What's going on?

151. Got another patient.

152. I set up an online second opinion clinic.

153. People who don't like or trust their doctorse mail symptoms.

154. I can knock off four or five cases over lunch.

155. Clear two grand by emailing them back.

156. Ascending colon's clean.

157. - That's got to be illegal. - Only in 9 states,

158. and this isn't one of them.

159. Legal notice spells out it doesn't replace doctor's visits,

160. so there's no opportunity for malpractice.

161. - How come you haven't said anything? - It's no big secret.

162. I'm not very chatty.

163. You told us when you renewed your subscription to national geographic.

164. Small intestine looks clean. Moving into the pylorus.

165. So you don't mind if I tell House?

166. Actually House may sort of mind because I

167. because I sort of set it up in House's name.

168. Nothing in the bile duct.

169. And by "set it up in his name," you mean?

170. I mean, it's Dr. Gregory House's second opinion clinic

171. with medical advice direct from Dr. Gregory House.

172. You're insane.

173. With two days to live.

174. - House is never gonna find out. - He will if I tell him.

175. Or you cut me in for 30% and I keep your secret safe.

176. - That's blackmail. - Yes.

177. Moving into the...

178. That's her stomach?

179. It's the size of a shot glass.

180. Because our patient's a big, fat cheater.

181. Subtle.

182. No way you geniuses could've spotted this.

183. Gastric bypass surgery. She had her stomach stapled.

184. Then had the records from her files pulled

185. So it wouldn't ruin their dvd sales.

186. Can you do this outside?

187. I could, but that would defeat the purpose of doing it here.

188. - Where are the smart guys? - If you mean Foreman and Thirteen,

189. apparently the first appointment of the drug trial's an all-day thing.

190. I said yes to this?

191. Her gastric bypass procedure could...

192. Forget the bypass. Treat her like a fat girl.

193. Should we treat her like a 60-year-old asian man too?

194. - She's not fat. - Not on the outside.

195. But on the inside, she's still tons of fun.

196. When she was obese, she probably had type two diabetes.

197. Could've left her with nerve damage.

198. Ten points for doing what I said.

199. Minus ten points for doing it badly.

200. If this was diabetes-induced nerve damage, it would've kicked in years ago.

201. Have you seen my balls?

202. Can you hold on a second?

203. My balls. Have you seen my balls?

204. Giant one and the red one.

205. - Your plan isn't gonna work. - Of course it is.

206. I try to make you miserable to make you leave.

207. You deny that.

208. You try to make me miserable, I'll stop making you miserable.

209. Eventually you will leave,

210. citing reasons that have nothing to do with misery.

211. You're not bothering me.

212. Step one complete.

213. I'm gonna call you from my cell.

214. And then I will come back in here.

215. Yeah, I just had to explain to him that I had his balls

216. and he's not getting them back.

217. 'Scuse me.

218. Sleep apnea explains...

219. Apnea would've disappeared when she shrank.

220. Not if it destroyed the musculature of her trachea.

221. Apnea cuts off oxygen to the brain.

222. - The resulting neurological... - She been snoring?

223. - She didn't mention it. - Did she mention feeling tired

224. - after a full night's sleep? - No, but...

225. This isn't apnea.

226. And this is a stupid room to be doing a ddx in.

227. Cliff notes.

228. Gastric bypass only makes her skinny on the outside.

229. Inside, we have heart and lung issues not caused by heart and lung issues.

230. Private area, House. It can wait.

231. You need to consider side effects from her gastric surgery.

232. - Forget the bypass. - Let the dying girl finish.

233. You said forget the...

234. Dr. Thirteen has the floor.

235. Bypass could create malabsorption issues.

236. - Leads to low potassium. - Very stupid.

237. Her potassium's fine.

238. But her intestines aren't.

239. Gastric bypass could cause malabsorption

240. by creating a blind loop of bowel.

241. It ulcerates during exercise. Bacteria get loose in the bloodstream.

242. - Migrate to the heart and lungs. - Very not stupid.

243. Bacteria in the bowels means there's bacteria in the poop.

244. Get some and test it.

245. He could've come up with sibo anywhere else in the hospital.

246. You didn't need to come and screw with us.

247. But her wrong idea led to his right one.

248. It was vital screwing.

249. We think your surgery might've caused an infection called sibo.

250. Stool tests will help us to confirm.

251. Put some of what you're full of in here.

252. If surgery could somehow make you taller,

253. wouldn't you do it?

254. Sure.

255. But I wouldn't call a meeting of the lollipop guild

256. and tell them they can grow if they work real hard at it.

257. I don't tell anyone not to get gastric bypass.

258. I tell them how to get healthy. How to improve their lives.

259. Yeah, by telling them to do what you were unwilling to.

260. I was willing to do anything.

261. Thyroid, hormones, crash diets... None of it worked.

262. My body was like a prison.

263. When I got the surgery, I got healthy.

264. And when I got healthy, I got happy.

265. I'm not sure you're happy. But if you are,

266. being healthy didn't do it. Being pretty did.

267. Poop in the bedpan.

268. House's office?

269. Really?

270. Did he send you here to beg for it back?

271. There are dozens of other doctors...

272. Other doctors actually use their offices

273. for crazy stuff like seeing patients.

274. Not throwing a ball against the wall and calling it work.

275. It's his process. That ball saves lives.

276. Did he give you talking points?

277. Yeah, but I added one of my own.

278. Don't take his office and pretend

279. like all you're doing is taking his office.

280. You chose his room because you want to be there.

281. But sitting near him and hoping isn't gonna get it done.

282. Leave here now, or I'll take your office.

283. No, you won't.

284. The boob lady emailed me again complaining of chronic fatigue now.

285. She's convinced the implants are responsible.

286. - They're not. - I told her.

287. She says something is, and if I don't find out what

288. she's gonna complain to the licensing board.

289. - It's not funny. - It is.

290. You just can't appreciate it because it's gonna destroy your career.

291. What happened?

292. He call Foreman "clean and articulate" again?

293. This is surprising.

294. Clinic patients just whining.

295. What's the poop?

296. It's gonna take about an hour to spin down the sample.

297. - What are we looking for? - You don't know?

298. I'm doing my famous Socrates impression.

299. - Think I really nailed the accent. - High fat content indicates sibo.

300. And what does fat do in water?

301. It floats.

302. What else floats in water?

303. Correct answer is a duck.

304. If it doesn't float,

305. Kutner missed the boat.

306. Looks like I was wrong to dismiss apnea.

307. You guys can stay up all night gloating in the sleep lab.

308. What about all that scar tissue around the implant? Could that be...

309. That amount of encapsulation's normal.

310. - I gotta tell her something. - Tell to find a decent plastic surgeon

311. - who can correct the placement... - That's what she wants,

312. - she's sick and she's lopsided. - Tell her it's a virus.

313. It probably is, and it'll get her off your back for a few...

314. Emmy's EEG is flatlining.

315. Where is she?

316. I looked for you guys in the control room,

317. - but you seemed busy. - Get off there.

318. Last time you exercised, you had a cardiac incident.

319. - I feel fine. - You felt fine last time.

320. I only slept a couple hours, but I feel great.

321. - Can I get one of those machines? - You're running on a broken ankle.

322. - It doesn't hurt. - And your leg is bleeding.

323. You feel that?

324. What does that mean?

325. Numbness in her left foot is ascending into her leg.

326. How did she manage to sneak out for a run?

327. She said she needed to use the bathroom.

328. You two get the results of the sleep apnea test,

329. or did those need to use the bathroom too?

330. Alpha waves on the EEG ruled it out.

331. I was mixing some hydrogen sulfide

332. for good and valid reasons and must've spilled some on my side.

333. - Did it waft over to your side? - Cunning plan.

334. You do realize it's gonna stink for hours on both sides.

335. Would you look at the time?

336. I hope your patient isn't still sick...

337. Forcing you to stay here all night.

338. Numbness means her nerves are breaking down.

339. - Or her brain. - Or both.

340. - We've gotta go. - Let me finish. I'll meet you there.

341. You were 15 minutes late yesterday. I don't want you to develop bad habits.

342. Appreciate the life lesson, but 15 minutes give or take

343. isn't gonna make a difference. Get started on your other patients.

344. I'll be down there when we're done here.

345. Way to know where your bread is buttered, sister.

346. Up high!

347. If the problem's in brain, it could be MS.

348. Or early onset Parkinson's.

349. If it's her nerves, it could be transverse myelitis.

350. Or a million other things.

351. We're gonna stay in the dark until we can figure out

352. if her electrical problem

353. is in her power station or in the high-tension wires.

354. Power station's the brain. Wires are the nerves.

355. Go run an NCV test.

356. The test will measure the time it'll take this electrical impulse

357. to travel along your nerves.

358. - Will it hurt? - No. Give me your arm.

359. You can ask nicely.

360. I learned at med school you don't actually cure with kindness.

361. You're right.

362. I'm a hypocrite.

363. But I don't have a choice.

364. Not really interested in your rationalizations.

365. If I'm open about the gastric bypass, no one would listen to me anymore.

366. - You mean no one would buy your dvds. - It's not about the dvd sales.

367. I'm helping people.

368. My clients are making themselves healthy.

369. They're living better lives.

370. Can you honestly tell me you've never done anything hypocritical?

371. I'm sure you had good reasons.

372. Give me your arm...

373. please?

374. Keep your arm raised.

375. Does this mean something is wrong with my nerves?

376. It's your muscles.

377. We don't need to run this test.

378. It's not what we thought.

379. She has muscle weakness. Could indicate myasthenia gravis.

380. Could be some kind of toxin.

381. Excuse me, are you going up to the personnel floors?

382. I'm going to see Dr. House.

383. - Do you have an appointment with him? - We've been emailing.

384. Joint pain and fatigue thanks to these.

385. I'm sure it's nothing. Oh, and now this.

386. - He's actually downstairs. - Gone. Gone for the day.

387. But, we work for him. We can set you up in the E.R.

388. The antibiotics will make her feel better. She's out here by morning.

389. - If it is a staph infection. - It's gotta be.

390. She has sleeves of tattoos and piercings from God knows where.

391. She has muscle weakness. Could indicate myasthenia gravis.

392. I had the weirdest dream.

393. You guys did the test

394. in a reasonable amount of time and came back here

395. before I had time to fall asleep.

396. You still smell that?

397. Maybe you should just let her have your office.

398. Or...

399. She sends one of yours to the hospital, send one of hers to the morgue.

400. It's not myasthenia gravis.

401. Her breathing's improving and the weakness is in her extremities.

402. Could be a botulinum reaction.

403. I don't think sabotaging your boss'office

404. is a wise counterattack.

405. All that is needed for evil to succeed

406. is for good men to do nothing.

407. She probably used a lot of botox to tighten up her skin.

408. True.

409. Could also be any kind of heavy metal toxicity.

410. PPS or arsenic from eating too much seafood.

411. Cadmium from bad bottled water.

412. Lead or nickel from canned fruits or natural grains.

413. I don't think replacing that was part of the renovation plans.

414. It is now.

415. Lucky for us, we can treat all those toxins

416. with the same thing: chelation.

417. You never showed up.

418. Get out of my house.

419. I wanted to find proof that you were slipping back

420. into your self-destructive pattern.

421. Confirm you weren't worth my time.

422. Instead,

423. I found this.

424. You followed all of my instructions to the letter.

425. Probably better than any patient I have.

426. Why are you the only one who can't show up for appointments?

427. I came down right after I was finished with House.

428. You were in your office with another patient.

429. And there was another patient in the waiting room.

430. Janice.

431. I'm well-aware of what's gonna happen to my body over the next 8 to 10 years.

432. I do not need a visual reminder every time I walk into that place.

433. That's understandable.

434. It's human.

435. And you need to get over it.

436. Now you show up on time tomorrow,

437. or you don't show up at all.

438. Your mom is leaving.

439. You're gonna regret this the rest of your life.

440. The chelation didn't work. Her muscles are still deteriorating.

441. Rules out toxins

442. So what else can go wrong when the hindenburg deflates?

443. Why aren't we doing this in your office?

444. Obviously because it would be stupid to do it in an office with no furniture.

445. Cuddy...

446. Overreacted to my overreaction.

447. Coronaro-cardiac fistula.

448. - Even a small hole could cause... - This started in the lungs,

449. not the heart.

450. And why are you leaning on a 45-degree angle away from Foreman?

451. - I'm sitting straight. - Trouble in the land of false hope?

452. Everything's fine. Austrian syndrome.

453. Nice deflection.

454. But our patient doesn't drink. She's a health nut.

455. And even if I was a cynical guy and thought that she was a liar,

456. I'd have done a tox screen which would've come back negative for alcohol.

457. You should come to these gatherings more often.

458. Keep you from looking like an idiot.

459. Are you making book, or did something else happen to our patient?

460. Personal. I'll put it on vibrate.

461. Guillain-barre.

462. Usually starts as a muscle pain

463. patients compare to the pain of over-exercising.

464. So who's paging you? Your wife?

465. Does it worry you that she paged Kutner first?

466. Guillain-barre fits.

467. Patient didn't notice the initial symptoms

468. because it's no different than how she feels every day.

469. Her muscle weakness is the precursor to full paralysis.

470. Gastric bypass probably set it off.

471. Oh, at what price beauty?

472. Go start her on plasmapheresis.

473. - Can you stop singing? - Musical automatism.

474. She could be having a partial seizure right now.

475. - You need to get House. - Dee dee!

476. Yelling is not going to be an effective treatment.

477. She's faking. It's a cry for attention.

478. Her brain could be misfiring.

479. A rare neurological disorder is far more likely than a cry for attention.

480. I mean, nothing about this woman screams "look at me."

481. On the other hand, look at her.

482. She needs a full neurological work-up.

483. Get House!

484. Ultimate irony.

485. Killed myself trying to make myself healthy.

486. You're not dying.

487. Okay? This disease is manageable.

488. Better start getting used to that wheelchair.

489. - Self-pity doesn't suit you. - Just take me down to the...

490. You're strong enough to walk. Come on, get your ass out of bed

491. and walk.

492. Could be an aneurysm.

493. We've got to control her blood pressure. Start her on a calcium channel blocker.

494. Or...

495. - you could tell House. - We can't tell House.

496. You'll be in trouble.

497. - On the other hand, she's sick. - She's singing.

498. And bleeding out of her ears, and losing her hair.

499. Aneurysm doesn't explain joint pain.

500. - Wilson's disease does. - No kayser-fleischer rings.

501. - Anorexia. - Now you're just desperate.

502. Biliary tumor causing pareneoplastic syndrome.

503. That might actually fit.

504. I'll scan to confirm.

505. - You'd do that for me? - You don't have time.

506. Which means I can ask for 25% of your income

507. and you'll give it to me.

508. You going over the fence?

509. Took three visits,

510. but I finally convinced the contractor that I'm Cuddy's boss.

511. And all the office renovation plans need to go through me.

512. You did do the math on this, right?

513. Screwing with her office means her renovation'll take longer.

514. Means she will be in your office longer.

515. See there?

516. I'm having a bidet put in instead of a toilet.

517. Not in addition to. Instead of.

518. You know what happened to the old toilet?

519. She'll be with you where you claim to not want her.

520. I smashed it with a sledgehammer.

521. I think in some ancient cultures

522. that was actually considered a proposal of marriage.

523. Is this fun for you?

524. Analyzing everyone else's fun away?

525. Ask her out.

526. It'll cost the hospital a lot less.

527. I brought some visitors.

528. Cheer you up.

529. It's okay. Come on in, guys.

530. We're all staying on your plan. Nobody's cheating.

531. That's great.

532. You're on my arm.

533. We found out about your gastric bypass.

534. How could you lie to us?

535. The doctors told you?

536. - You're really hurting my arm. - You're not the best you

537. you can be.

538. You're a fraud.

539. You're a self-hating fat person.

540. You're really hurting me.

541. Feel the burn.

542. Help!

543. Get off of me!

544. Get off of me!

545. Get off of me!

546. Mood congruent hallucinations.

547. Means it's not guillain-barre.

548. Which means whatever it is, it's now in her brain.

549. - Where are you going? - Sorry. Treatment.

550. Does Foreman schedule your appointments by

551. numbers on the clock or just by when I'm in the middle of something?

552. Sorry if I'm dying at a bad time for you.

553. Could be cns lymphoma.

554. So losing the 200 pounds was just a coincidence?

555. What about a prion disease?

556. If her brain is slowly turning into a swiss cheese,

557. there's not a lot we can do.

558. There are some possible treatments.

559. Get a brain biopsy to confirm.

560. You're not cutting into this woman's brain before you test.

561. That is the test.

562. Not for cns lymphoma, which is a perfectly legitimate diagnosis.

563. One you can test for non-invasively.

564. You're obviously not opposed to being invasive.

565. Rule out cns lymphoma first,

566. then rule out astrocytoma,

567. then rule out other brain tumors.

568. I hereby declare them ruled out.

569. Run the tests.

570. You can do a brain biopsy, but only as a last resort.

571. Start running down Cuddy's list of diseases it's not.

572. You're not stopping me for medical reasons.

573. You're stopping me...

574. because you have the hots for me.

575. You're still here because you have the hots for me.

576. Evidenced by the fact that

577. I'm the one who moved into your office.

578. It's the biggest office.

579. - I'm not the one that destroyed... - Why are you dressed like that?

580. Why do you try so hard to get my attention?

581. Are you screwing with me?

582. Are you screwing with me?

583. That depends on your answer.

584. Everybody knows this is going somewhere.

585. I think we're supposed to kiss now.

586. We already did that.

587. It seemed like the logical next step.

588. Really?

589. I'm an idiot for being surprised.

590. Can you leave these?

591. I'll keep coming, but can you change my appointment time?

592. Can't. Schedule's full.

593. You're stuck with her.

594. Might as well get to know her.

595. Your head MRI was clean. Means you don't have CNS lymphoma.

596. - What's next on the list? - Other types of brain tumors.

597. Can we stop at the cafeteria?

598. I can have something brought up. What do you want?

599. Chocolate cake.

600. You can't give up. We're gonna figure this out.

601. What am I supposed to be hoping for? That you find a brain tumor?

602. What else could it be?

603. You were so hard on me about lying.

604. How about you take some of your own advice and tell me the truth?

605. What's next on the list?

606. Prion disease.

607. And if that's what I got, how bad?

608. There are a few treatments,

609. but there's no guarantee.

610. I'm sorry.

611. And you won't let me have a piece of cake?

612. Where's Cuddy?

613. It's not cns lymphoma.

614. I know.

615. She's getting worse.

616. You want me to find Cuddy and get her approval for the brain biopsy?

617. When you were philandering with impunity,

618. how did that feel?

619. Superficially, I loved it.

620. But...

621. deep down, I think I was miserable.

622. Why? What's going on?

623. You weren't miserable.

624. You gave something away to make a relationship work.

625. You rationalize that you're getting something back.

626. Okay, I'm gonna go get Cuddy's approval for the brain biopsy.

627. Leave 'em there.

628. I'm gonna do the biopsy myself.

629. Cuddy wanted us to eliminate seven different things.

630. She doesn't always get what she wants.

631. Bad idea to get into a power play with somebody who has the power.

632. You're fired.

633. Just reinforcing your point.

634. Whatever personal drama you're playing out,

635. you'd be a lot smarter to...

636. thought you said she was sick.

637. Sick people...

638. don't spontaneously get better.

639. Yes, they do.

640. It's called an immune system.

641. Sick people who are sick enough to make it to me

642. don't spontaneously get better.

643. Not as pithy, but yeah, technically more accurate.

644. - What's the last thing you gave her? - I took her for an MRI looking for...

645. MRI's detect. They don't treat.

646. - What did you give her after the mri? - I didn't give her anything.

647. She got depressed at the lack of direction.

648. We went to the cafeteria for some chocolate cake.

649. Took her to her room, hung a bana bag, let her rest.

650. You gave her cake.

651. She asked for it. I figured...

652. you figured you'd let me play 20 questions instead of just telling me.

653. Feeling crappy again?

654. I brought your cure.

655. I'd give you an IV of this stuff, but

656. the frosting tends to get stuck in the little tubes.

657. Is this a joke?

658. It's not a joke. Not a lie.

659. Not an attempt to defraud in any way.

660. It's an actual

661. licensed physician with an actual diagnosis.

662. Hereditary coproporphyria.

663. Your face is genetically blessed.

664. Your body chemistry is slightly less so.

665. Doesn't make enough of a certain enzyme that

666. I can't pronounce, but it's apparently important for your liver

667. and everything else.

668. Treatment is a high carb diet rich in sugar.

669. When you were a porker, you were self-medicating.

670. So this is treatable.

671. We just have to reverse your gastric bypass

672. and get you back on a high carb, glucose-enriched diet.

673. The best you you could be

674. is a lot more you.

675. Open the hangar. Here comes the plane.

676. There's nothing else you can try?

677. No.

678. There's a drug that manages the symptoms, but it's not a cure.

679. Let's try that.

680. You don't want to have the surgery?

681. Understand.

682. There's not many people who have the guts to admit

683. they'd rather be pretty than healthy.

684. The income's better and you get more action.

685. I'll start you on your drug treatment right away.

686. I bought it.

687. I bought that it was really about trying to make people's lives a little better.

688. You're surprised she's superficial? You're a plastic surgeon.

689. - This is the human condition. - No, she's a freak.

690. Every time you put someone under to bob their nose, you were risking their life.

691. What?

692. No singing.

693. She's better.

694. No one was supposed to let my patient leave her bed.

695. She had a respiratory arrest.

696. We coded her nearly 20 minutes, but she didn't make it.

697. House is an unemotional child incapable of intimacy or romance.

698. Trust me, it's done.

699. This is perfect.

700. I like the desk.

701. Lot of character.

702. That's not the one I ordered.

703. This is my desk from med school.

704. - You have it in storage or something? - My mom did.

705. That was sweet of her to do that.

706. She didn't.

707. My mom has no idea I'm redoing my office.

708. I lied to you the other night.

709. That woman in the waiting room,

710. she didn't freak me out about my future.

711. She freaked me out about my past.

712. Your mother.

713. Must've been horrible watching her die.

714. I wanted her to die.

715. She just...

716. yelled so much.

717. And for no reason.

718. Just screamed at me in front of my friends.

719. My father tried to explain to me that her brain was

720. literally shrinking, that

721. she didn't mean it.

722. That it was the disease, but I didn't care.

723. I hated her.

724. I never said good-bye.

725. And she died

726. with me hating her.

727. Did chase test for the biliary tumor?

728. Said it was negative.

729. Said she was stable when he left her.

730. Should've found more time. We should've...

731. House is gonna kill us.

732. Slowly.

733. And painfully.

734. You're not only idiots, you're frauds.

735. Fraudulent idiots.

736. Fraudulent idiotic killers, as it turns out.

737. - House, this was really my... - your fault?

738. For pretending to be me when you're not even competent.

739. And your fault for not ratting him out while the patient was still alive.

740. What she had was easily treatable.

741. She could've been fine.

742. Damn treatment's so simple.

743. Might still be possible.

744. House, she's clearly dead.

745. - She was dead. - She wasn't dead.

746. She wasn't even sick, you moron.

747. Seriously, how good was she?

748. No formal training. At least not in acting.

749. Did you see their faces?

750. I think we may have an anal hygiene violation there.

751. So the ct.

752. That was from a patient three years ago.

753. It was hard to find.

754. But the hair and make-up,

755. getting chase and cameron to play along, much easier.

756. We deserved it.

757. - I'll take down the website. - Take it down?

758. Are you kidding? It's way too lucrative to shut it down.

759. For chase, for me,

760. I earn 50% for letting you use my name.

761. Go to work. First dollars go to expenses.

762. I booked our little thespian here for two full days.

763. That's three g's I owe her.

764. And you still got three hours left.

765. Do I?