1. Big Eye,
this is Cobra Zero Six.Copy !req
2. Just entered Indian Country,
approaching way point four.Copy !req
3. Request confirmation to engage
target on first approach.Copy !req
4. Roger,
Cobra Zero Six.Copy !req
5. Big Eye waiting for
confirmation as well.Copy !req
6. If we wait any longer,
Big Eye,Copy !req
7. we're not gonna have
any choice in the matter.Copy !req
8. I can't exactly
do a U-turn here.Copy !req
9. Roger that, Cobra.
Hold for confirmation.Copy !req
10. Captain Cooper,
are you okay?Copy !req
11. What happened?
You weren't answering.Copy !req
12. Because the damn comm cord
got disconnected!Copy !req
13. You spend a billion
dollars on the avionicsCopy !req
14. and don't bother to check
the comm connection?Copy !req
15. No, I checked that
twice before you got in...Copy !req
16. And the next time you ask us
to test a prototype,Copy !req
17. it'd be nice if your directional
gyro didn't spin like a topCopy !req
18. when I'm supposed to be
500 feet off the floor.Copy !req
19. I'm sorry.Copy !req
20. I'll go review the simulation, see
if I can figure out what went wrong.Copy !req
21. Who is this man?Copy !req
22. Come on, take a shot.Copy !req
23. I'm not gonna fire you every
time you get a wrong answer.Copy !req
24. Neville Chamberlain.Copy !req
25. You're fired.Copy !req
26. Does this man look like he's ceding
Czechoslovakia to a fascist dictatorship?Copy !req
27. It's Buddy Ebsen, the actor.
He's dead. Why are we...Copy !req
28. Buddy Ebsen was the original tin
man in the Wizard of Oz, for a day.Copy !req
29. He was diagnosed allergic to
the aluminum dust in the makeup.Copy !req
30. His lungs failed. He nearly
died. Question is, why?Copy !req
31. Didn't you just
say he was allergic?Copy !req
32. You may not have legs, but you
got ears. I suggest you use them.Copy !req
33. I said he was
diagnosed allergic.Copy !req
34. Since we are currently short
exactly one interesting patient,Copy !req
35. we are gonna figure out what really
happened to Buddy Ebsen in 1938.Copy !req
36. Now, on one hand,
he's not getting deader.Copy !req
37. On the other hand, your jobs
hang in the balance. So...Copy !req
38. House?Copy !req
39. I want seven alternate
diagnoses when I get back.Copy !req
40. Did you forget how
to count to three?Copy !req
41. I get a budget
for three.Copy !req
42. Doesn't mean I can
only hire three.Copy !req
43. Actually, that's exactly
what it means.Copy !req
44. I cut the permanent
salaries by 10º/º.Copy !req
45. Over three years, that'll more than
make up for the breakage on the 27Copy !req
46. that I'm gonna weed out
over the next few weeks.Copy !req
47. There's 40 people in there.Copy !req
48. Row D, you're fired.Copy !req
49. I didn't actually
count all the resumes.Copy !req
50. This is stupid. You can't
manage that many people.Copy !req
51. You're just gonna keep
weeding them out arbitrarily?Copy !req
52. Sure, and having them
sitting in my officeCopy !req
53. schmoozing about their
favorite Algerian surfing moviesCopy !req
54. is a much better system.Copy !req
55. Wait a second. Were you in Row D? Yes.Copy !req
56. My apologies. My boss says
I'm being arbitrary and stupid.Copy !req
57. Row D is not fired.
Row C is fired!Copy !req
58. What?
Great. Thank you.Copy !req
59. See, that was
not arbitrary.Copy !req
60. Well, I'd love to chat,
but I've been paged.Copy !req
61. That's interesting.Copy !req
62. Apparently,
I paged myself.Copy !req
63. If you have a resume there,
I'm not interested.Copy !req
64. But I wouldn't mind hearing
how you got my pager number.Copy !req
65. It's not a resume.Copy !req
66. $50,000.Copy !req
67. Does One-Eyed Nicky want me
to run that to Jimmy the Nose?Copy !req
68. It's for my
medical bills.Copy !req
69. I need you to find out
what's wrong with me.Copy !req
70. Insurance is usually
cheaper than that.Copy !req
71. Cash means there's
something to hide.Copy !req
72. I'm a captain
in the Air Force,Copy !req
73. about to start
a new assignment.Copy !req
74. NASA's astronaut
training program.Copy !req
75. I discovered salt
and created FM radio.Copy !req
76. Something is wrong
with my eyes, my ears...Copy !req
77. Well, if it's fixable, the
Air Force will do it for free.Copy !req
78. If not, it doesn't matter.Copy !req
79. There are a hundred applicants
ready to take my placeCopy !req
80. who don't need
to be fixed.Copy !req
81. I need to do
this off the books.Copy !req
82. I did the research. You're
the best, you break rules,Copy !req
83. and you don't care about
anyone except yourself.Copy !req
84. Well, let's say that's true.Copy !req
85. You get a new job.Copy !req
86. Hospital gets
a nice wad of cash.Copy !req
87. What do I get?Copy !req
88. I crashed
a flight simulatorCopy !req
89. because I started
to hear with my eyes.Copy !req
90. The aluminum could
have been tainted...Copy !req
91. Don't care.
New patient!Copy !req
92. 30-year-old female
with synesthesia.Copy !req
93. New rules.Copy !req
94. You generate a lab report,
you shred it.Copy !req
95. X- ray, you melt it.Copy !req
96. No notes,
no records, nothing.Copy !req
97. As far as you're concerned,
the patient is Osama Bin LadenCopy !req
98. and everyone not in this room
is Delta Force. Any questions?Copy !req
99. We're protecting
Osama Bin Laden?Copy !req
100. It's a metaphor.Copy !req
101. Get used to it.
Any more questions?Copy !req
102. And you're not even gonna
tell us her name?Copy !req
103. You think her name might be
connected to what's wrong with her?Copy !req
104. Here's Osama.Copy !req
105. Now, you all have numbers, so
we're gonna do this alphabetically.Copy !req
106. 8, 15 and 5.Copy !req
107. Is the synesthesia new?Copy !req
108. Yes.Copy !req
109. Any history of similar
symptoms or psychiatric...Copy !req
110. No, nothing.Copy !req
111. Are you on any prescription
meds or use any other drugs?Copy !req
112. No. Should we trust her answers?Copy !req
113. What, you think I'd pull you off
Buddy Ebsen just for a junkie?Copy !req
114. Can we trust
your answers?Copy !req
115. You gotta trust
someone, right?Copy !req
116. No.Copy !req
117. Has anyone close to you been sick
lately? A family member, co-worker?Copy !req
118. No, not that I'm aware of.Copy !req
119. Two down.
Kitty Carlisle?Copy !req
120. Do you spend much
time above 20,000 feet?Copy !req
121. Why would
you ask that?Copy !req
122. People who fly are immobile for long periods.Copy !req
123. Could be a leg clot that embolized
to the brain through a PFO.Copy !req
124. That's an unusual choice.Copy !req
125. Well, like you said, you wouldn't
interrupt Buddy with anything that wasn't.Copy !req
126. The patient is
a frequent flyer.Copy !req
127. 13, 32, 39, get Osama
an EEG, MRI and angiogram.Copy !req
128. How many of you think
that Oswald acted alone?Copy !req
129. If, by alone, you mean that
he was unaware that the CIA...Copy !req
130. Oh, shut up.Copy !req
131. Split yourself
into two groups.Copy !req
132. Test her blood.
Test her stool.Copy !req
133. Who likes the
designated hitter?Copy !req
134. You're wrong. You're lucky you're not fired.Copy !req
135. Two more groups
LP and cultures.Copy !req
136. Who doesn't know what
a designated hitter is?Copy !req
137. Okay, here's her address.Copy !req
138. I want you to break in and
find out what she's hiding.Copy !req
139. Why don't we just ask
the patient for the key?Copy !req
140. Well, if you can find out what
she's hiding just by asking,Copy !req
141. we'd have to
redefine hiding.Copy !req
142. You want to live in this
country, learn the language.Copy !req
143. What do you want
the rest of us to do?Copy !req
144. 30 people for three openings
and I want you to wash my car?Copy !req
145. This is not why I busted
my ass in med school.Copy !req
146. We spend a half an hour
cleaning the car. Big deal.Copy !req
147. It's demeaning.Copy !req
148. Work is demeaning?
We're too good for this?Copy !req
149. Oh, don't give me that
honest day's labor crap.Copy !req
150. We all went to med school so we wouldn't
have to do an honest day's labor.Copy !req
151. What about an honest
hour's labor?Copy !req
152. In exchange, we get
a shot at learningCopy !req
153. from one of the best
diagnosticians in the world.Copy !req
154. No, we don't.Copy !req
155. If we did, we'd be one of the ones
drawing blood or checking for toxins.Copy !req
156. We're done.Copy !req
157. He's just not gonna
cut us looseCopy !req
158. until we've dusted his
shelves and starched his shirt.Copy !req
159. I'm out of here.
Who's with me?Copy !req
160. Are we sure
he wasn't joking?Copy !req
161. Maybe this
is just a test.Copy !req
162. Everything's a joke and everything's
a test and he wants us to do it.Copy !req
163. Come on,
get up here.Copy !req
164. Well, I could try, but I
pulled a muscle in 1987.Copy !req
165. I didn't waste two years repeating
medical school to be arrested and deported.Copy !req
166. Why'd they make you repeat?Copy !req
167. Not enough gym credits?Copy !req
168. According to
the state of New Jersey,Copy !req
169. medical schools in my country suffer
from not being from this country.Copy !req
170. You know, if you get it open, you're
gonna have to come down and let me in.Copy !req
171. Or, you could just
wait out here.Copy !req
172. This is a competition.Copy !req
173. Change your mind?Copy !req
174. No.Copy !req
175. Then why are you here?
Never intended to quit.Copy !req
176. Then why did you... Intended
to get everyone else to quit.Copy !req
177. Get off the car.Copy !req
178. I need to clean it.
We need to clean it.Copy !req
179. I stole his keys.
We'll take it to a car wash.Copy !req
180. He's got people breaking
into a woman's apartment.Copy !req
181. Obviously, respecting personal
property isn't one of the rules.Copy !req
182. I told the super I was
worried about my niece.Copy !req
183. She hasn't been
answering the telephone.Copy !req
184. Nice guy. Two daughters in Mount Holyoke.Copy !req
185. No evidence of clots, and other
than elevated red blood cell count,Copy !req
186. the blood work
was unremarkable.Copy !req
187. You got a problem
with the naked female form?Copy !req
188. Not at all.Copy !req
189. Maybe she's just not used to seeing it
spooning with the naked dolphin form.Copy !req
190. That's not a dolphin,
it's a porpoise.Copy !req
191. There is a difference, you
know. Salary, for one thing...Copy !req
192. You want us to
give you a minute?Copy !req
193. High red blood cell
count likely means...Copy !req
194. Carbon monoxide poisoning.Copy !req
195. There are a lot of different
explanations for elevated red blood cells.Copy !req
196. Yeah, well,
which one fits bestCopy !req
197. with the damaged flue
that your competitors foundCopy !req
198. in the gas fireplace
in Osama's cave?Copy !req
199. Car's clean.Copy !req
200. Did you just see a blond guy
with a pretentious accent?Copy !req
201. Can't see an accent.Copy !req
202. Good point.Copy !req
203. Can I have my
car keys back?Copy !req
204. Give me the car keys, put the
patient in a hyperbaric chamberCopy !req
205. and no more prime
numbers for you.Copy !req
206. Thank you.Copy !req
207. The high pressure and oxygen will flush
the carbon monoxide from your system.Copy !req
208. This much oxygen for too long can have some
toxic effects, so we'll do this in cycles.Copy !req
209. Can I talk to you a second?Copy !req
210. You're working that thing all
the time. Is everything all right?Copy !req
211. We're supposed to be watching
her heart rate and blood pressure.Copy !req
212. Yeah, I was until you
pulled me over here.Copy !req
213. I'm sending out a consult
on another patient.Copy !req
214. Okay.Copy !req
215. What? I'm not quitting my old job
until I'm sure I've got a new one.Copy !req
216. I didn't say anything.
You had a look.Copy !req
217. Yeah, I did. Sorry.Copy !req
218. Hey, I think she's
having a heart attack.Copy !req
219. No, I just feel
a little funny.Copy !req
220. Tachyarrhythmia.Copy !req
221. Call the code!Copy !req
222. Nothing.Copy !req
223. V
- fib. Where the hell is... Clear!Copy !req
224. Are you crazy? You can't use
those! We're in a hyperbaric...Copy !req
225. Clear!Copy !req
226. She's on fire!Copy !req
227. Her heart's beating.Copy !req
228. And we are so fired.Copy !req
229. We've started her
on nitro and blood thinners.Copy !req
230. Electrolytes and
post-arrest EKG were normal.Copy !req
231. The attack was not
caused by the procedure.Copy !req
232. So, what does cause
synesthesia,Copy !req
233. high red blood cell
count and heart attack?Copy !req
234. Aren't we gonna discuss what caused
the sudden appearance of burnt flesh?Copy !req
235. He brought charged paddles
into an oxygenated room.Copy !req
236. And you didn't stop him.Copy !req
237. Means either you thought it was a chance
worth taking, making you a hypocrite,Copy !req
238. or you thought he'd fail, making
you a cutthroat little pixie.Copy !req
239. What causes...
Takayasu's syndrome.Copy !req
240. Not without a rash and a
fever. It's gotta be Whipple's.Copy !req
241. No way. You ever see Whipple's
without abdominal pain?Copy !req
242. Stop it!Copy !req
243. This argument is distracting
every male and lesbian here.Copy !req
244. You're both right.Copy !req
245. In the sense that you've convinced
me that you're both wrong.Copy !req
246. What about cardiomyopathy?Copy !req
247. Structural abnormality
causes the heart attackCopy !req
248. and throws clots to the brain,
leading to synesthesia.Copy !req
249. How old are you?Copy !req
250. I'm 21,
unless it's relevant.Copy !req
251. Okay, Scooter.Copy !req
252. Do a transoesophageal echo.Copy !req
253. And since the positive divisors of
26, are 2 and 13, have them assist.Copy !req
254. The rest of you,
go to the cafeteria.Copy !req
255. Document 10 things that
can cause infection, each.Copy !req
256. I wouldn't. Someone named 17 thinks there
could be lysteria in the cream cheese.Copy !req
257. 17's a stupid number.Copy !req
258. What's Chase doing here?Copy !req
259. You saw Chase?Copy !req
260. Last night.
Outside my office.Copy !req
261. That's interesting.Copy !req
262. It's more curious
than actually...Copy !req
263. Chase took a job at the Mayo
Clinic in Arizona a week ago.Copy !req
264. Interesting.Copy !req
265. It wasn't Foreman or Cameron you
saw, but Chase, the one you fired.Copy !req
266. Not interesting.Copy !req
267. Someone who looked like someone I
used to know walked by my office.Copy !req
268. It's always interesting when repressed
guilt starts unrepressing itself.Copy !req
269. The only thing I feel
guilty for is this.Copy !req
270. We're gonna feed this
endoscope down your esophagus,Copy !req
271. try to find where your
heart might be damaged.Copy !req
272. It's gonna feel uncomfortable,
but just keep swallowing,Copy !req
273. I promise you'll be fine.Copy !req
274. She's ready.Copy !req
275. Go ahead, take a whack.Copy !req
276. Right, so if we don't find
anything, House blames me.Copy !req
277. Or you find something
and get a gold star.Copy !req
278. Why don't you wanna do it?Copy !req
279. House isn't gonna be impressed by a
gray hair doing his ten-thousandth echo.Copy !req
280. So, you're just
being altruistic?Copy !req
281. That makes you suspicious,
Doctor...Copy !req
282. Call me 13.
I'm not getting invested.Copy !req
283. Her heart's
structurally sound.Copy !req
284. No clots, no valvular defects,
no wall motion abnormalities.Copy !req
285. Got that from
structurally sound.Copy !req
286. What did she say?
Structurally sound.Copy !req
287. I assume you're not all walking with
me to tell me you found nothing...Copy !req
288. It showed a short
burst in the...Copy !req
289. Okay.
Who's next?Copy !req
290. It showed a short
burst of atrial flutter.Copy !req
291. I ran a rhythm strip twice
and got the same result.Copy !req
292. Stop.Copy !req
293. Okay, here's how we
diagnose in transit.Copy !req
294. I lead, you draft, I move, you
move, I stop, you stop. Got it?Copy !req
295. Flutter could mean
hormone overproduction...Copy !req
296. Wait a second. Why did you do
the test? I gave it to Scooter.Copy !req
297. We didn't think it mattered.
It doesn't.Copy !req
298. It matters that you let her.Copy !req
299. Okay, 10, 24, 39, run a TRH
stimulation test for hyperthyroidism.Copy !req
300. That could cause
another heart attack.Copy !req
301. Proving her first attack
was caused by her thyroid,Copy !req
302. which is kind
of the point, right?Copy !req
303. Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh.Copy !req
304. I ride alone.Copy !req
305. The hormones
stimulate your thyroid.Copy !req
306. Don't worry if you get
flushed or you start to sweat.Copy !req
307. It means the
thyroid's working.Copy !req
308. And, if you want,
I can remove that mole.Copy !req
309. I'm a plastic surgeon. You're
allowed a little vanity.Copy !req
310. I'm fine with
the way I look.Copy !req
311. Good for you.Copy !req
312. Although, I do find it a bit
odd that someone so self-assuredCopy !req
313. doesn't want her doctors to
find out what's wrong with her.Copy !req
314. What are you talking about?
Why else am I here?Copy !req
315. You're jerking us around. You're
handcuffing us with all these restrictions.Copy !req
316. I'm feeling warm.Copy !req
317. Her pulse is 120.
Stop pushing.Copy !req
318. If House thought this would handicap
us, he wouldn't have taken the case.Copy !req
319. Or maybe that's
why he took the case.Copy !req
320. He wants to see if we can
get it out of her on our own.Copy !req
321. What did you
find at her home?Copy !req
322. You were in my home?
Nothing.Copy !req
323. Travel pictures, yearbook,
her name on an employment slip?Copy !req
324. We weren't checking
for that stuff, okay?Copy !req
325. Obviously, House didn't
want us to.Copy !req
326. You're gonna... You're
gonna out me, aren't you?Copy !req
327. You're gonna
ruin everything.Copy !req
328. Nobody's trying to do
anything, just relax.Copy !req
329. This is not a normal response to
the test. Pulse and BP are too high.Copy !req
330. Get away from me.Copy !req
331. Get away from me!
Don't touch me!Copy !req
332. Paging me during Judge Judy, not
the best way to win my affections.Copy !req
333. She had another
episode of synesthesia.Copy !req
334. It set off
a psychotic attack.Copy !req
335. And now she ran in there, and must
have jammed something in the handles.Copy !req
336. So, you call me?Copy !req
337. The guy with one good leg
and zero leverage?Copy !req
338. We break that door down, security
shows up and her name goes in a file.Copy !req
339. Luckily, violence is
not the last resort.Copy !req
340. Extortion is. So, go ahead. Extort her.Copy !req
341. If you don't open this door,
we're gonna break it down.Copy !req
342. Clever.Copy !req
343. An appeal to her deep concern for hospital
property. Let's see how that works.Copy !req
344. If you don't open this door,
you're going to die.Copy !req
345. Go away!Copy !req
346. Well, you seem
to be getting to her.Copy !req
347. She doesn't care
if she dies.Copy !req
348. You think she
wants to die?Copy !req
349. No, but I think she only wants to
live under certain circumstances.Copy !req
350. Open up, or I blab
your secret to everyone.Copy !req
351. You don't
know anything.Copy !req
352. I do.Copy !req
353. No!Copy !req
354. Anybody think that
a sedative might...Copy !req
355. I'm trying.
Okay!Copy !req
356. Who's that?Copy !req
357. Who is she?Copy !req
358. Osama Bin Laden.Copy !req
359. Who is she?Copy !req
360. Is she okay?Copy !req
361. She's stable.
Who is she?Copy !req
362. What did
House tell you?Copy !req
363. That she is on the run from an
international crime syndicate.Copy !req
364. That's what he told us.Copy !req
365. House may be your boss,
but I'm House's boss.Copy !req
366. You wanna work here,
I better be okay with it!Copy !req
367. Honestly, he didn't tell us anything
about who she was or what she...Copy !req
368. Her name's
Greta Cooper.Copy !req
369. Wants to be an astronaut.Copy !req
370. Doesn't want NASA to know her brain's
getting her ears confused with her eyes.Copy !req
371. I went through her mail.Copy !req
372. You're a virus, House. Now instead
of one liability, I've got 20.Copy !req
373. Apparently only 19.
Which number was it?Copy !req
374. From now on, everything you do gets charted.Copy !req
375. With pen, on paper,
in a binder that says,Copy !req
376. "Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching
Hospital" on the cover.Copy !req
377. Mom!Copy !req
378. If you wanna run something
through the labs, I get a copy.Copy !req
379. If you do scans,
I get a copy.Copy !req
380. If you think about doing scans, I get a copy.Copy !req
381. You know my current thoughts, right?
I don't have to put those on paper.Copy !req
382. Three issues.Copy !req
383. One, number 10,
you're fired.Copy !req
384. She told you?Copy !req
385. Well, it had to be someone
who went to her home.Copy !req
386. Number 26 is half asleep.
Missed his afternoon nap.Copy !req
387. Obviously,
he doesn't feel guilt.Copy !req
388. Number 2 is here on a visa,
she can't jeopardize.Copy !req
389. You can't know.Copy !req
390. And that chick's been pointing
at you since I walked in.Copy !req
391. Issue two,
what causes synesthesia,Copy !req
392. high RBC, tachyarrhythmia
and panic attacks?Copy !req
393. Slight glucose elevation.
That says thyroid.Copy !req
394. Baseline thyrotropin's 1.1. 1.3.Copy !req
395. Whatever.
Her thyroid's working.Copy !req
396. What about her liver?Copy !req
397. Original ALT levels weren't
abnormal, but were near the edge.Copy !req
398. She has patient data on her PDA. I do not.Copy !req
399. I saw the lab values. You said
we couldn't write anything down.Copy !req
400. I also said
I wanted answers.Copy !req
401. Liver cancer's the most
likely. Paraneoplastic syndrome.Copy !req
402. We need to do an MRI.Copy !req
403. Which brings us
to issue three.Copy !req
404. You're saying we
can write stuff down?Copy !req
405. To you, I'm saying,
you're fired.Copy !req
406. To everyone else...
But you said specifically...Copy !req
407. I hate tattletales.Copy !req
408. She tattled on 10.
Now, you've tattled twice.Copy !req
409. Issue three...Copy !req
410. Come on, let's go.Copy !req
411. Issue three, how do we do
tests when we can't do tests?Copy !req
412. Dr. Cuddy didn't say we can't do
tests, she said we have to chart.Copy !req
413. If we chart, we won't
get consent, so we can't.Copy !req
414. The patient's life may
depend on her consenting.Copy !req
415. Her dreams depend on
her not consenting.Copy !req
416. So, how do we do tests
when we can't do tests?Copy !req
417. You've got an hour.Copy !req
418. How do you scan a liver
without scanning a liver?Copy !req
419. And what's
Cameron doing here?Copy !req
420. Interesting, so you're seeing Cameron now.Copy !req
421. No, not interesting,
because not seeing. Saw.Copy !req
422. My patient won't consent
to MRls or ultrasounds.Copy !req
423. You've dealt with more liver
cancer than anyone else here.Copy !req
424. So, you want me to share the secret
scanning techniques I learnt in Nepal?Copy !req
425. Unfortunately, the monks
made me swear a blood oath.Copy !req
426. Where was she?Copy !req
427. In the lobby.Copy !req
428. I guess, we could palpate
the area around the liver.Copy !req
429. Which won't work unless the
tumor's enormous, which you know,Copy !req
430. which means you're here because
these visions are freaking you out.Copy !req
431. Did...Copy !req
432. She had blond hair.
Why would I hallucinate that?Copy !req
433. Yes, yes!Copy !req
434. Why are you merging
Cameron and Chase?Copy !req
435. We should find out before the next
time you see her, when she'll be black.Copy !req
436. Because, of course, it's
scientifically impossible for a personCopy !req
437. to go back and visit
somewhere they worked.Copy !req
438. No. But since
she's not a dead cat,Copy !req
439. it is scientifically impossible
for her to be in two places at once.Copy !req
440. Physics joke.
Don't hear enough of those.Copy !req
441. She just called
me from Arizona.Copy !req
442. Notice the area code, 480.Copy !req
443. They put an offer on
a place in Scottsdale.Copy !req
444. Do you want to talk or should
I? I guess we could both talk.Copy !req
445. Although, they're engaged,
and if you're staying in touch,Copy !req
446. you might wanna buy them...Copy !req
447. Maybe it's not repressed
guilt, maybe it's just panic.Copy !req
448. Right now, you've got enough
fellows to build a railroad,Copy !req
449. but you're gonna have to narrow that
room full of numbers down to three people.Copy !req
450. Any chance you could turn this creative
brilliance towards my patient's liver?Copy !req
451. I think you're
gonna choose peopleCopy !req
452. for reasons that have nothing
to do with their skills.Copy !req
453. I think you're gonna choose people
just because you can't stand them.Copy !req
454. Because if you like them,
well, that's justCopy !req
455. stressful.Copy !req
456. Stress.Copy !req
457. I like it.Copy !req
458. We need to stress
the patient's liver.Copy !req
459. You mean make her sick?Copy !req
460. I mean, make her
sick in a specific way.Copy !req
461. If her liver's given to
malfunctioning, we make it malfunction.Copy !req
462. Are we on the other
side of wrong here?Copy !req
463. Don't we have an ethics board
that we should consult, or...Copy !req
464. I fired you.Copy !req
465. No, you didn't.Copy !req
466. He fired you,
you're number 6.Copy !req
467. No, I'm not.
I'm number 9.Copy !req
468. I approve of
your shamelessness.Copy !req
469. You're still fired.Copy !req
470. So, how do we
stress her liver?Copy !req
471. Lying and paperwork, I get.
Shutting down organs, I think...Copy !req
472. We could give her intravenous vitamin
D and stick her in a tanning booth.Copy !req
473. If she goes into a coma, we
know it's a metabolic problem.Copy !req
474. Nice.Copy !req
475. But vitamin D's metabolized
by the liver and kidneys.Copy !req
476. It wouldn't tell us
which one's screwed up.Copy !req
477. We could
get her wasted.Copy !req
478. Give her shots of tequila and measure
how long it takes for her to pass out.Copy !req
479. If it's too fast, then we know her
liver is not processing alcohol.Copy !req
480. Means it's shot.Copy !req
481. I like you, number 9.Copy !req
482. You wanted to see me?Copy !req
483. You a Mormon?Copy !req
484. You're wearing
a ring from Brigham Young.Copy !req
485. Or did your folks
just do the lawns?Copy !req
486. The Church has a very progressive
attitude towards racial equality.Copy !req
487. Don't care.
Actually, I'm thanking God.Copy !req
488. You're the only
non-drinker we got.Copy !req
489. We need a control groupCopy !req
490. to establish whether the liver's
deterioration is within normal range.Copy !req
491. Got a big drinker, a medium
drinker, now I got a no-drinker.Copy !req
492. Just do an MRI.Copy !req
493. You really think the guy
who created heaven and earthCopy !req
494. cares what you put in
your digestive tract?Copy !req
495. Her dream shouldn't
outrank my religious belief.Copy !req
496. Why not?
Her dream might come true.Copy !req
497. All life is sacred, right?Copy !req
498. We're not saving her life.
We're doing a diagnostic test.Copy !req
499. Not even a real
diagnostic test.Copy !req
500. Well, that fake test
might really save her life.Copy !req
501. Would you pull an ass out
of a pit on the Sabbath?Copy !req
502. Would you or would you not pull
an ass out of a pit on the Sabbath?Copy !req
503. Fine. I'll do it.Copy !req
504. Good.Copy !req
505. Why'd you have
to pick tequila?Copy !req
506. I assume a single malt
would've worked just as well.Copy !req
507. Wasn't our choice.Copy !req
508. Okay, two minutes,
then round number five.Copy !req
509. So, tell me about
the magic underwear.Copy !req
510. Is that why you're here?Copy !req
511. I'm the big drinker,
doing my part for science.Copy !req
512. The interesting question is
why your religious beliefsCopy !req
513. are suddenly less important
than her dreams.Copy !req
514. You're reversing
your argument?Copy !req
515. I know what I believe.Copy !req
516. I'm just not quite
sure what you believe.Copy !req
517. Well, LDS doesn't try to dictate
every detail of our lives.Copy !req
518. When a situation isn't clear, we're
encouraged to make our own decisions.Copy !req
519. But your judgment
was to say no.Copy !req
520. You used my judgment.Copy !req
521. You made a good argument.Copy !req
522. Rational arguments don't
usually work on religious people.Copy !req
523. Otherwise, there would
be no religious people.Copy !req
524. You're an atheist.Copy !req
525. Only on
Christmas and Easter.Copy !req
526. Rest of the time,
it doesn't really matter.Copy !req
527. Where's the fun in that?Copy !req
528. A finite un-mysterious
universe?Copy !req
529. It's not about fun.
It's about the truth.Copy !req
530. The truth is we're having this debate because
you wanna figure something out about me.Copy !req
531. What have you got so far?Copy !req
532. Greta! Greta!Copy !req
533. She can't breathe.
We need to intubate.Copy !req
534. No!Copy !req
535. At least oxygen.Copy !req
536. NASA will need
to know why!Copy !req
537. I checked the tests
you ordered.Copy !req
538. Did you just see Foreman?Copy !req
539. You measured
the density of her teeth.Copy !req
540. It's a shortcut
test for hypocalcaemia.Copy !req
541. You had to have
just passed him.Copy !req
542. So, you suspected
hypocalcaemiaCopy !req
543. from her complete
lack of broken bones?Copy !req
544. Is that why you also
ran three tox screens?Copy !req
545. Patient might have
been sneaking uppers.Copy !req
546. He was in a white coat.
Did you hire him back?Copy !req
547. Foreman is running the diagnostic
department at New York Mercy.Copy !req
548. Have you been drinking?Copy !req
549. She was having
trouble breathing.Copy !req
550. Refused oxygen
and intubation.Copy !req
551. So you put her
on a treadmill?Copy !req
552. Records will show that we gave her oxygen
as a part of a routine cardio stress test.Copy !req
553. She gets to breathe,
your boss gets her paperwork.Copy !req
554. Whose idea was that?Copy !req
555. It was a joint decision.Copy !req
556. It never is.Copy !req
557. So, how old were you when
your brother left home?Copy !req
558. Why do you think that I...
Why aren't you answering?Copy !req
559. Did your mother
initiate the divorce?Copy !req
560. We should probably focus on
what's wrong with her lungs.Copy !req
561. Are you Wiccan?Copy !req
562. She really can't breathe.Copy !req
563. Okay. Hold still.Copy !req
564. What are you doing?Copy !req
565. Auscultatory percussion.Copy !req
566. If you have
a good ear, you can...Copy !req
567. You didn't have a lot of friends,
because you chose not to...Copy !req
568. You can hear
while you're talking?Copy !req
569. You can detect not only structural
details, but small, deep masses.Copy !req
570. Game's over.Copy !req
571. You either have lung cancer
or tuberous sclerosis.Copy !req
572. We need to cut
you open and biopsy.Copy !req
573. That'llCopy !req
574. leave a scar.Copy !req
575. NASA doctors will see it.
They'll know.Copy !req
576. I never opened for Springsteen
or slept with Barbara Feldon.Copy !req
577. You can live for years without
dreams. Without lungs...Copy !req
578. Find a way.Copy !req
579. Okay.Copy !req
580. As long as you keep saying
it strongly, you won't die.Copy !req
581. Find a way.Copy !req
582. How do we force
a patient into surgery?Copy !req
583. Texas bag scam?
Saratoga Wire?Copy !req
584. Paris Exposition Trick?Copy !req
585. The problem's not the
surgery, it's the scars,Copy !req
586. and we have a plastic surgeon
here who can hide them.Copy !req
587. Not that well. NASA's gonna
check every cranny.Copy !req
588. I say we just put ether in her
oxygen and do what we have to do.Copy !req
589. She'll sue.Copy !req
590. For what?Copy !req
591. Making it harder for her
to lie to the government?Copy !req
592. We don't need to hide them.Copy !req
593. We give her elective
cosmetic surgery.Copy !req
594. The incisions will give us
access to her lungs.Copy !req
595. And she's got an innocent
explanation for the scars.Copy !req
596. You mean, like,
liposuction.Copy !req
597. No, no. Those incisions
are too far from the lungs.Copy !req
598. We don't subtract. We add.Copy !req
599. Turn her Bs into Cs.Copy !req
600. It's myth that fake hooters blow
up at high altitude. She'll be fine.Copy !req
601. Just think of it as
one giant rack for mankind.Copy !req
602. I fought for years
to be taken seriously.Copy !req
603. Trust me, you'll be taken more
seriously. Just sign the form.Copy !req
604. This'll make me a joke.Copy !req
605. There's gotta be another way.Copy !req
606. I've known a few
people who had dreams.Copy !req
607. One thing they all had in
common was they got laughed atCopy !req
608. and they didn't care.Copy !req
609. You bumped a splenectomy
for a boob job?Copy !req
610. Would you condemn
this woman to a lifeCopy !req
611. where people look at her face
when they talk to her?Copy !req
612. If you don't explain this,
I'll cancel the surgery.Copy !req
613. Can I explain
why you're here?Copy !req
614. I think I just
told you why I...Copy !req
615. I scheduled a diagnostic patient
for a boob job. Which is ridiculous.Copy !req
616. So, obviously you
had to confront me.Copy !req
617. With you so far.Copy !req
618. But I'm gonna
give you a reason.Copy !req
619. Not a good one.Copy !req
620. No. Not even close
to a good one.Copy !req
621. But here's the drag
from your point of view.Copy !req
622. My explanation
will make sense.Copy !req
623. Not to the board,
not to a judge, but to you.Copy !req
624. So you'll let me do it.Copy !req
625. Then, you're gonna have to sit next
to me at the administrative hearing.Copy !req
626. Don't you have
better things to do?Copy !req
627. It's in the best
interests of the patient.Copy !req
628. Trocar's in,
you're good to go.Copy !req
629. Deflate the lung.Copy !req
630. There, a cyst.Copy !req
631. Cysts,
I count three of them.Copy !req
632. Probably the same, if not
more, on the left lung.Copy !req
633. Okay, so what's been working
overtime to kill Miss Bin Laden?Copy !req
634. We know her name now.Copy !req
635. Yeah, but I forgot it.Copy !req
636. Say the magic word and get
immunity from the next challenge.Copy !req
637. Alveolar hydatid disease.
Hits all the organs.Copy !req
638. She'd have had multiple
seizures by now.Copy !req
639. Pulmonary Langerhans'.Copy !req
640. Doesn't explain
the red blood cells.Copy !req
641. Come on!Copy !req
642. Cysts, synesthesia, heart
attack. You guys have gotta...Copy !req
643. Von Hippel-Lindau syndrome.Copy !req
644. Raises red blood cell count,
causes masses on the organs.Copy !req
645. If one of the masses
is a pheochromocytoma,Copy !req
646. it could cause neurologic
episodes and a heart attack.Copy !req
647. Do you see a blonde guy who still
has peach fuzz standing up there?Copy !req
648. Yeah.Copy !req
649. This is a closed procedure.
Gallery's off limits.Copy !req
650. Not to the surgical staff.Copy !req
651. Are you gonna hire
that guy instead of us?Copy !req
652. Not a chance.
I love you guys.Copy !req
653. Please dig out the cysts, histology
to confirm Von Hippel-Lindau.Copy !req
654. Don't forget her chesticles.Copy !req
655. Calling Arizona was
a very nice touch.Copy !req
656. You do have residual...Copy !req
657. Not only do I not
have residual feelings,Copy !req
658. I didn't even have
primary feelings.Copy !req
659. You freaked...
You lied!Copy !req
660. Because you
knew it meant...Copy !req
661. It meant nothing!Copy !req
662. I saw him
'cause he was there.Copy !req
663. Did Cameron follow her bashert
to the surgery department?Copy !req
664. I think Chase
followed her.Copy !req
665. She's been a senior attending
in the ER the last three weeks.Copy !req
666. A blonde senior attending,
to be accurate.Copy !req
667. And Foreman,
is he back in neurology?Copy !req
668. He's at New York Mercy.
He's been there a month.Copy !req
669. Did you see Foreman?Copy !req
670. No.Copy !req
671. Doctor Chang to OR.
Doctor Chang to OR.Copy !req
672. So, I'm cured.Copy !req
673. You're fine for now, but Von
Hippel-Lindau is a genetic disease.Copy !req
674. There's no cure.Copy !req
675. Greta, you need to
come clean to NASA.Copy !req
676. You said you
got all the cysts.Copy !req
677. They could re-emerge.Copy !req
678. I'll go to
radiology clinics.Copy !req
679. I'll get regular
screenings.Copy !req
680. If something happened
while you're up there,Copy !req
681. you'd be playing
Russian RouletteCopy !req
682. with other people's...
Relax.Copy !req
683. She doesn't have to tell,
and neither do you.Copy !req
684. Turns out the NASA doctors even know
where the hyphen in Von Hippel-Lindau goes.Copy !req
685. You called them?Copy !req
686. I'm not an idiot.Copy !req
687. Those shuttles
fly over New Jersey.Copy !req
688. So, here we are.
The big moment!Copy !req
689. Which of you gets to live
to be abused another day?Copy !req
690. And which of you goes home and rationalizes
being fired as character building?Copy !req
691. The following numbers,
thanks for playing.Copy !req
692. 21, 19, 8, 34,Copy !req
693. 17,Copy !req
694. 29, 5,Copy !req
695. 36, 2.Copy !req
696. The rest of you,
8 a. m. Sharp.Copy !req
697. I'll be in sometime
between 10:00 and 3:00.Copy !req
698. Oh, and 26,
stick around a while.Copy !req
699. I did nothing wrong.Copy !req
700. Lots of people
did nothing wrong.Copy !req
701. Other people screwed up,
I never even...Copy !req
702. Other people took chances.Copy !req
703. 26?Copy !req
704. Buddy Ebsen actually
was allergic to...Copy !req
705. Yeah, I know.
How old are you?Copy !req
706. 21.Copy !req
707. You don't think
it's relevant.Copy !req
708. I'll likely have less time to
use the skills you teach us,Copy !req
709. but I don't think
that's significant to you.Copy !req
710. How about the fact that you
never went to medical school?Copy !req
711. Which is why you let the
unlucky number do the trans echo.Copy !req
712. At least you're
ethically unethical.Copy !req
713. 30 years I worked in the Columbia
med school admissions office.Copy !req
714. Audited all the classes,
most of them, more than once.Copy !req
715. I just never
got a diploma.Copy !req
716. You had to know I'd
find out sooner or later.Copy !req
717. I know you break rules.Copy !req
718. I thought maybe
you'd break one for me.Copy !req
719. I can't hire you
as a doctor.Copy !req
720. But you can still
tell me what you think.Copy !req
721. You could also fetch me coffee
and pick up my dry cleaning.Copy !req
722. Until I can decide
whether or not to keep you.Copy !req
723. So, I'm playing this whole game
to be, like, your secretary?Copy !req
724. Assistant sounds marginally
less demeaning.Copy !req
725. It's not my dream job.Copy !req
726. Actually, it is. It's
just not your dream title.Copy !req
727. Three weeks.Copy !req
728. For someone who never misses something
small, you missed something big.Copy !req
729. You're an idiot.Copy !req
730. The hair, where I'm working,
or both?Copy !req
731. The hair makes you
look like a hooker.Copy !req
732. I like it.Copy !req
733. Pulling pieces of windshield
out of car accident victims,Copy !req
734. and reattaching fingertips
sliced off cutting bagels?Copy !req
735. At least Chase's move
is only one step down.Copy !req
736. I can do good here.
Get it out of my system.Copy !req
737. Why'd you rat your
patient out to NASA?Copy !req
738. I don't know who's been gossiping
about ethics instead of sex,Copy !req
739. but I hope they've
already been fired.Copy !req
740. Which number was it?
Greta.Copy !req
741. Number.
No number, the patient.Copy !req
742. How do you think she got
your pager number?Copy !req
743. She came into the ER,
didn't want to talk...Copy !req
744. I didn't rat her out.Copy !req
745. You lied?Copy !req
746. I suppose I should tell her
that before she keys my car.Copy !req
747. Why lie?Copy !req
748. I had to stop
some leaky faucets.Copy !req
749. What did it matter?Copy !req
750. It was no one's business.Copy !req
751. Right.Copy !req
752. She's gonna be the safest astronaut up there.Copy !req
753. Certainly more vigilant than the
guy next to her who's got no clueCopy !req
754. about the aneurysm
in his head ready to pop.Copy !req
755. Right.Copy !req
756. You got a better reason?Copy !req
757. You couldn't kill her dream.Copy !req