1. Whoever thought walking in a circle
at two miles an hour would be draining?Copy !req
2. Fresh air, exercise.Copy !req
3. You know, some things do
have their negative sides.Copy !req
4. Our income just
got cut in half.Copy !req
5. And we get to spend twice
as much time together.Copy !req
6. More, if you don't leave
before your lunch hour is over.Copy !req
7. Out of my way.Copy !req
8. We have a legal right to
hold you up for 15 seconds.Copy !req
9. Fifteen, fourteen...Copy !req
10. One.Copy !req
11. Eleven, ten...Copy !req
12. Ow!Copy !req
13. Just trying to do my job.Copy !req
14. Hey, relax. Three more
seconds and you can go.Copy !req
15. Are you telling
me what to do?Copy !req
16. It's okay.Copy !req
17. Just take a breath.Copy !req
18. Get the hell off me!Copy !req
19. I think
it's been 15...Copy !req
20. You okay?Copy !req
21. Oh, my God. Jeff?Copy !req
22. Standby.Copy !req
23. Place is a mess.Copy !req
24. Welcome to a world without nurses.
Here, you can start with these.Copy !req
25. It's not my fault.
I don't use nurses.Copy !req
26. Cuddy was looking for you,
said she'd send you down here.Copy !req
27. I know. That's why I'm here.Copy !req
28. Because Cuddy
hasn't found you yet.Copy !req
29. She's going to look everywhere
except the place she wants me to be.Copy !req
30. Hey. I've got an aortic dissection here.Copy !req
31. What's with the idiot?Copy !req
32. Fainting spell and a
recent history of dysgeusia,Copy !req
33. everything tastes like
lemon meringue pie.Copy !req
34. You want to take him?Copy !req
35. No.Copy !req
36. Sir!Copy !req
37. Why do you have two
lunches in front of you?Copy !req
38. Been here for two meals.Copy !req
39. And you're happy with that? No.Copy !req
40. I just don't see much
use in complaining.Copy !req
41. Seriously?Copy !req
42. It's a pretty useful tool.Copy !req
43. You complain,
make people miserable.Copy !req
44. Then they do what you want,
to make the misery go away.Copy !req
45. We probably should say something.
Maybe I can call one of doctors...Copy !req
46. They're doing their best.Copy !req
47. Ow!Copy !req
48. What the hell?Copy !req
49. I'm sure it was an accident.Copy !req
50. Is he Canadian?Copy !req
51. He's a low priority.Copy !req
52. Is that a yes?Copy !req
53. He's just...
Happy.Copy !req
54. I've got to stop this,
before it spreads.Copy !req
55. You guys are done.Copy !req
56. Could be a metabolic disorder,
toxic exposure,Copy !req
57. carcinoma of the tongue metastasized
to the brain, epilepsy, M.S.Copy !req
58. Or it could be the flu and we
should all be back in the E.R.Copy !req
59. No, you're ignoring
the big symptom.Copy !req
60. What if we were looking at both
the flu and decent parenting.Copy !req
61. Okay, you two
are perfectly healthy.Copy !req
62. This guy wasn't pandering.
He wasn't vanilla nice.Copy !req
63. He was nice without any
aspiration of personal gain.Copy !req
64. I'm thinking genetic defect.Copy !req
65. Niceness
is a defect?Copy !req
66. Three cavemen see a stranger
running towards them with a spearCopy !req
67. one fights, one flees, one smiles
and invites him over for fondue.Copy !req
68. That last guy didn't last
long enough to procreate.Copy !req
69. And how long has the
patient been suffering?Copy !req
70. At least as long as his wife
has known him, eleven years.Copy !req
71. The chances of him having an
undiagnosed pathology for that long...Copy !req
72. What are you saying?Copy !req
73. Evolution is wrong?Copy !req
74. Where do you think
we are? 21st century America?Copy !req
75. He's saying that
statistics are true, too.Copy !req
76. The world is a bell curve,Copy !req
77. most of us fall within
the standard deviation.Copy !req
78. But there are outliers.Copy !req
79. And if we believe in the
existence of extreme jerkiness,Copy !req
80. which I suspect that we do,Copy !req
81. then we also have to accept the
existence of the opposite extreme.Copy !req
82. You want it to be a symptom, because
then we're supposed to be jerks,Copy !req
83. which means you don't even
have to try to be nice.Copy !req
84. Okay, maybe I am biased.
Let's take a vote.Copy !req
85. Who thinks niceness
is not a symptom?Copy !req
86. And who thinks that
their vote counts?Copy !req
87. You two, check out his home
for toxins. Taub and 31...Copy !req
88. 31?Copy !req
89. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that
either way was good with you.Copy !req
90. Taub and Thirteen, MRI for
tumors, EEG for nerve damageCopy !req
91. and test whatever comes out
of him for everything else.Copy !req
92. Too much axis tilt.Copy !req
93. Don't release until your thumb's
at the bottom of the ball.Copy !req
94. I assume Wilson was busy.Copy !req
95. Again.Copy !req
96. No axis tilt.Copy !req
97. With Amber?Copy !req
98. Again.Copy !req
99. Still. It was nice of you
to invite me. This is fun.Copy !req
100. No, it wasn't.
No, it isn't.Copy !req
101. I didn't invite you to
be nice, I invited youCopy !req
102. because bowling isn't one of the
two things guys do by themselves.Copy !req
103. What's the second thing?Copy !req
104. Other hand.Copy !req
105. Well, if people are incapable of
being nice, why bother having the word?Copy !req
106. The ontological
proof of niceness.Copy !req
107. The existence of the word proves
the existence of the concept.Copy !req
108. Look out for those minotaurs
on your drive home.Copy !req
109. And I thought motives don't
matter, only results mattered.Copy !req
110. So what are you gonna do?Copy !req
111. To screw up Wilson's relationship
so you don't have to listen to meCopy !req
112. while you bowl.Copy !req
113. I wish the best for them, and
their tragically deformed children.Copy !req
114. She's good at being bad.Copy !req
115. You might not be
able to destroy her.Copy !req
116. As long as I give it my best
shot, I can hold my head high.Copy !req
117. Cameron had this
one insufferable friend.Copy !req
118. She wasn't going to get rid of her,
and I sure wasn't going to join them.Copy !req
119. So I just said,
"See her on Thursdays. "Copy !req
120. I know it's not as exciting
as an exploding birthday cake,Copy !req
121. but, hell, I don't want to hang
out with her every night anyway.Copy !req
122. That's amazing. Cameron only
has one insufferable friend?Copy !req
123. Joint custody.Copy !req
124. Of Wilson?Copy !req
125. Unless we have
another love child.Copy !req
126. Deal with him.Copy !req
127. He needs a mother figure.Copy !req
128. I'm not saying you're not
entitled to spend time with him.Copy !req
129. I'm just saying
I'm entitled, too.Copy !req
130. I don't know how to deal with
him when he's being reasonable.Copy !req
131. This is reasonable?
This is crazy.Copy !req
132. You're not a child, you
can make your own plans.Copy !req
133. No. Crazy is what House would
normally do in this situation,Copy !req
134. swap your lubricant
with super glue.Copy !req
135. The man knows me.Copy !req
136. This is his way
of accepting us.Copy !req
137. It's actually a very
touching moment.Copy !req
138. I'm proposing I get every other
day and every other weekend.Copy !req
139. I have Yoga Wednesdays,
you can have him then,Copy !req
140. but you have to have
him home by 11:00.Copy !req
141. We can swap weekends.Copy !req
142. Mondays and Wednesdays.
And midnight.Copy !req
143. If he's not home till midnight, we
won't be asleep till almost 2:00.Copy !req
144. Wilson, make a ruling.Copy !req
145. No.Copy !req
146. You two are like dogs circling
each other in the park.Copy !req
147. And I say that with all
the love in the world.Copy !req
148. You need to sniff each
other's butts, bare your teethCopy !req
149. and arrive at some
strange détente.Copy !req
150. Otherwise you'll end up
biting each other's eyes out.Copy !req
151. Again, with all the
love in the world.Copy !req
152. I'll let you sniff first.Copy !req
153. Take my deal or get
out of my apartment.Copy !req
154. Take my deal or I move in.Copy !req
155. This guy worked for Habitat
for Humanity in Costa Rica.Copy !req
156. And coaches handicapped kids.Copy !req
157. You think we should do a
work up, on the other coaches?Copy !req
158. It is possible
he's too perfect.Copy !req
159. I'm not saying he's perfect,
I'm saying he's trying to be.Copy !req
160. It's what people do.Copy !req
161. What?Copy !req
162. That's not what people do.Copy !req
163. People usually suck, but they
want to be good, want to be nice.Copy !req
164. House?Copy !req
165. Exception that
proves the rule.Copy !req
166. What sort of
argument is that?Copy !req
167. Bad one.Copy !req
168. That might be relevant.Copy !req
169. Hydrofluoric acid. Lowers his calcium,
causes the fainting and taste issue.Copy !req
170. But not the niceness.Copy !req
171. Wouldn't that be nice?Copy !req
172. You are King Solomon.Copy !req
173. If you want us to cut him in
half, we're cool with that.Copy !req
174. My boyfriend's too much of a
wuss to make the call for himself.Copy !req
175. And I mean that with
all the love in the world.Copy !req
176. I'm gonna piss off one of
them. And they both scare me.Copy !req
177. "Your treatment of patients
is reprehensible. "Copy !req
178. You're reading his
performance review?Copy !req
179. I'm busy. We have
a nurses' strike.Copy !req
180. "Your management of employees
borders on abuse. "Copy !req
181. Let's go.Copy !req
182. No, I...
I want to hear it.Copy !req
183. "You are overtly contemptuous
of hospital hierarchy. "Copy !req
184. And covertly.Copy !req
185. But I suppose, you
didn't know about that.Copy !req
186. "Your attitude towards supervisory
personnel is disrespectful.Copy !req
187. "And a disturbingly large proportion
of your comments are racist or sexist. "Copy !req
188. That top makes you look
like an Afghani prostitute.Copy !req
189. Would be an example of that.Copy !req
190. Sign this.Copy !req
191. House, I got the...
It can wait.Copy !req
192. I will sign if you
will give us a ruling.Copy !req
193. I will give you a ruling if
you do the reviews on your team.Copy !req
194. I'd be happy to continue
the mockery of this process.Copy !req
195. What did you offer him?
Wednesdays till 11:00,Copy !req
196. and alternate weekends.Copy !req
197. Wednesdays till 11:00,
and alternate weekends.Copy !req
198. Yes! Wednesday nights are
Ladies' Nights at Cheetah's.Copy !req
199. Calcium's normal.Copy !req
200. Wow. It really could wait.Copy !req
201. Everything's normal. And
you thought it wouldn't be?Copy !req
202. He's a carpet cleaner, he's got
a home full of hydrofluoric acid.Copy !req
203. Doesn't mean his
calcium should be low.Copy !req
204. Yeah, actually, it kind of does.
HF causes lower levels of...Copy !req
205. Lower, not low.
Lower than normal.Copy !req
206. Lower than yesterday.
Yesterday might have been high.Copy !req
207. What's lower than high?Copy !req
208. He actually has hypercalcemia,Copy !req
209. which is being lowered
to normal by the HF.Copy !req
210. So what gives us elevated
calcium, bad taste and fainting?Copy !req
211. I take it you know.Copy !req
212. Get the team.
This is gonna be fun.Copy !req
213. Hello, again.Copy !req
214. These people think
you're not too nice.Copy !req
215. Too nice? For what?Copy !req
216. For life as we know it to have evolved
without an intelligent designer.Copy !req
217. I'm going to
prove them wrong.Copy !req
218. Your wife is very ugly.Copy !req
219. Get out of here.
Deb...Copy !req
220. He's obviously
trying to prove a point.Copy !req
221. I think I just did. You're
either perfect or you're sick.Copy !req
222. And in my experience,
sick is much more common.Copy !req
223. He's not sick. He's nice.Copy !req
224. Nice in the sense that your toaster
is nice for making you breakfast.Copy !req
225. It's the only thing his
wiring will let him do.Copy !req
226. He has Williams Syndrome.Copy !req
227. Your husband is missing the
genes that make him suspicious.Copy !req
228. You're wrong, he's...Copy !req
229. Relax, there's no cure.Copy !req
230. He's gonna go right on
tasting lemon meringue pie,Copy !req
231. fainting and being a sap.Copy !req
232. What about the other symptoms?Copy !req
233. He has no other symptoms.Copy !req
234. But Williams does.Copy !req
235. He's got the teeth,
the glasses...Copy !req
236. Williams cuts IQ by 20...Copy !req
237. He doesn't work in
the physics department,Copy !req
238. except when they spill
a black hole on their carpet.Copy !req
239. Elfin appearance?Copy !req
240. Yeah, he's more Legolas
than Keebler.Copy !req
241. Bet you he can still crack
off a batch of Pecan Sandies.Copy !req
242. Perfect pitch?Copy !req
243. You love to karaoke, right?Copy !req
244. I suck.
Modest.Copy !req
245. Another symptom.Copy !req
246. No, he really does suck.Copy !req
247. Give us a warble.
Know any Cher?Copy !req
248. No, but I know Bread.Copy !req
249. Baby, I'm-a want youCopy !req
250. Baby, I'm-a need youCopy !req
251. You're the only one
I care enough to hurt aboutCopy !req
252. Maybe I'm-a...Copy !req
253. What's the matter?Copy !req
254. He's stroking!Copy !req
255. Not a moment too soon.Copy !req
256. You were wrong.Copy !req
257. Why do people say that with such
pleasure? It's very hurtful, you know.Copy !req
258. It means the patient gets to keep
being nice. Why does that offend you?Copy !req
259. It's the way he said it.Copy !req
260. He wasn't relieved, he was
excited. He was also wrong.Copy !req
261. And I say that with
no sense of pleasure.Copy !req
262. Patient tested
negative for Williams,Copy !req
263. which means the stroke and
everything else wasn't caused...Copy !req
264. You have a friendly demeanor but
you sometimes get too involved.Copy !req
265. You relate well to your peers and patients
and you complete tasks in a timely manner.Copy !req
266. Please sign.Copy !req
267. What the hell was that?
I have to giveCopy !req
268. each of you
performance reviews.Copy !req
269. Plenty of other conditions can
cause debilitating niceness.Copy !req
270. How is that supposed
to help him?Copy !req
271. I don't know, how was it
supposed to help Wilson?Copy !req
272. Cross out Wilson's name and the
date and then fill in your own.Copy !req
273. The point of a review
is to give feedback to help...Copy !req
274. I'm thinking neurosyphilis.Copy !req
275. Wouldn't show up on the MRI
without contrast.Copy !req
276. I'll go run the tests.Copy !req
277. He doesn't think it's syphilis but
he's gonna go run those tests anyway.Copy !req
278. Because he doesn't know,
that's why we do tests.Copy !req
279. Because he's a wimp.
Because he's afraid of you.Copy !req
280. You want me to intimidate him
into not being afraid?Copy !req
281. Not sure I know how to do
that. Reviews make a difference.Copy !req
282. People have to listen,
so they have to learn...Copy !req
283. I don't think the right time to tell the
dog not to pee on the rug is semi-annually.Copy !req
284. You don't want to
do the paperwork.Copy !req
285. I am concerned
about the rain forest.Copy !req
286. I'll do it.Copy !req
287. I know.Copy !req
288. I don't have syphilis.Copy !req
289. You don't know.Copy !req
290. How many ways
are there to get it?Copy !req
291. You can know who you had sex
with, you can't know who she...Copy !req
292. I do.Copy !req
293. Not for sure.Copy !req
294. It's a waste of time. I had a
stroke. You can't keep wasting time.Copy !req
295. We were tested
for the Peace Corps.Copy !req
296. Ten years ago.Copy !req
297. You haven't been with your
wife every minute of every day.Copy !req
298. You think I'm naive,
don't you?Copy !req
299. I think you're... Yeah.Copy !req
300. I know my wife.Copy !req
301. She's not perfect.Copy !req
302. I'm not perfect.
But she loves me.Copy !req
303. And she's always loved me.
Every minute, every day.Copy !req
304. You're 15 minutes late.Copy !req
305. Have you heard the good news?Copy !req
306. Miley Cyrus is playing
a third night at the Spectrum?Copy !req
307. Happiness is possible. And not just in
this life but in the next. Where you can...Copy !req
308. Oh, you're selling religion! I'm
sorry, I bought some Islam yesterday.Copy !req
309. Well, it's where your light
showed signs before mending...Copy !req
310. Have a good evening.Copy !req
311. You're late.
Fifteen minutes.Copy !req
312. Sixteen minutes.
My sixteen minutes.Copy !req
313. So keep him an extra
sixteen minutes.Copy !req
314. You hear that?
She doesn't care.Copy !req
315. You're going mini-golfing, what's
it matter? You've got a tee-off time?Copy !req
316. It matters because you don't
get to decide what matters.Copy !req
317. It was my fault.
I had to take a shower.Copy !req
318. Which was my fault.Copy !req
319. I have to take a dump.Copy !req
320. Anything else I don't need
to know before you leave?Copy !req
321. Have fun on your play date.
You've got mommy's numbers, right?Copy !req
322. Daddy needs a drink.Copy !req
323. I was thinking, if we
discount the niceness issue...Copy !req
324. Sit down.Copy !req
325. I think it's a heart
defect. Nothing on the echo.Copy !req
326. Could be a patent foramen ovale.
Explains the stroke and the syncopeCopy !req
327. and a PFO wouldn't show up
on a routine echo.Copy !req
328. I'm going to do a bubble test.Copy !req
329. You got a minute, first?Copy !req
330. Sure.Copy !req
331. I think you've shown remarkable
strength in a difficult situation.Copy !req
332. Are you giving me
a performance review?Copy !req
333. A good one.Copy !req
334. I'm gonna do a bubble test.Copy !req
335. There was enough blood left over from
his admission work up to run the VDRL.Copy !req
336. You doubted your patient?Copy !req
337. No, what I thought
didn't matter.Copy !req
338. House said he wouldn't let us go
on until we ruled out neurosyphilis.Copy !req
339. It's not neurosyphilis,
it's a PFO.Copy !req
340. It's neurosyphilis.
The tests were positive.Copy !req
341. It's always the same conversation.
They tell you you must be mistaken,Copy !req
342. which is why I always run the tests
twice. Then they blame the other guy.Copy !req
343. Which makes sense if they're innocent.
But, obviously, half of them aren't.Copy !req
344. They don't seem to get that they're
busted. Scientifically proven.Copy !req
345. Unless your spouse
cheated, too.Copy !req
346. Exactly. That's what you're praying for
in that moment, that she cheated, too.Copy !req
347. And then, if she doesn't kill
you, you know that she did.Copy !req
348. You'd know she betrayed you.Copy !req
349. And then you realize
that that sucks worse.Copy !req
350. The test must be wrong.Copy !req
351. I ran it twice.Copy !req
352. Not that test. The one
I took 10 years ago.Copy !req
353. What other explanation
is there?Copy !req
354. He really sees no
other possibility.Copy !req
355. Did you have an affair?Copy !req
356. No.Copy !req
357. Then why aren't you
angry with him?Copy !req
358. You ever know anybody
who's just too nice?Copy !req
359. No.
It's annoying.Copy !req
360. Then you realize it's annoying because
they remind you of what you're not,Copy !req
361. that you'll never be
as good as they are.Copy !req
362. And then you think,
why can't I?Copy !req
363. And before you know it,Copy !req
364. that naive idiot
you laughed atCopy !req
365. has made you
a better person.Copy !req
366. You really think I've been in love
all these years with a symptom?Copy !req
367. If syphilis caused
lesions in his brain,Copy !req
368. and the lesions
caused personality changes...Copy !req
369. You may notice a change in
him, as his condition improves.Copy !req
370. I know my husband.
He's not going to change.Copy !req
371. You should get
yourself tested.Copy !req
372. So much for the bell curve.Copy !req
373. How can House be an ass
without it being an illness,Copy !req
374. but niceness is
a biological crime?Copy !req
375. You got five bucks?Copy !req
376. Yeah...Copy !req
377. Niceness just cost you five bucks,
being an ass generally turns a profit.Copy !req
378. Kutner, could you excuse us?
I need to do Taub's review.Copy !req
379. You can stay.Copy !req
380. I think it'd be better
if this was done privately.Copy !req
381. This isn't going to be done.Copy !req
382. What is with you guys?
I've given you advice before.Copy !req
383. Not as our boss.Copy !req
384. What's the difference?
Advice is advice.Copy !req
385. Fair enough. I'll go first.Copy !req
386. "You demonstrate a great air of confidence,
which is really pissing me off. "Copy !req
387. House authorized me to...
How long have you known him?Copy !req
388. He's using you. I volunteered
because I knew he wouldn't...Copy !req
389. He could care less about the paperwork.
He's using you to screw with you.Copy !req
390. He knows it'll annoy us,
we'll stand up to you,Copy !req
391. which will force you
to confront the fact thatCopy !req
392. even though you think
you're our superior,Copy !req
393. you're no different from us.Copy !req
394. He gave you authority,
to keep you in your place.Copy !req
395. It's true.Copy !req
396. Thanks.Copy !req
397. Not him. What did he say?Copy !req
398. Nothing. What's true?Copy !req
399. If there's something
wrong with this guy,Copy !req
400. it means there's something
wrong with House.Copy !req
401. Are you trying
to get me drunk?Copy !req
402. What time is it?Copy !req
403. 10:30.Copy !req
404. She'll kill you.Copy !req
405. I'll get you home
before lights out.Copy !req
406. Great, then she'll kill me.
If I get any more drunk...Copy !req
407. It might not work.Copy !req
408. If you know what I mean.Copy !req
409. Really?Copy !req
410. You'd think one or more of your
ex-wives would have mentioned that to me.Copy !req
411. They told you? Wait.Copy !req
412. Why do you want
to get Amber angry?Copy !req
413. Because I'm your friend.Copy !req
414. No, no, no, you said
you approved.Copy !req
415. You said you were
taking the high road.Copy !req
416. For how long, the first exit?Copy !req
417. Hello, and thank you from saving
me from being righteous to death.Copy !req
418. Patient's
vomiting blood.Copy !req
419. Hematemesis could indicate...Copy !req
420. Don't put it
on the board.Copy !req
421. You don't think
it's a symptom?Copy !req
422. I think it's my marker.Copy !req
423. He has syph and what?Copy !req
424. And syph. It can
cause hematemesis.Copy !req
425. Not everyone agrees.Copy !req
426. How could you...Copy !req
427. Because if you all thought
it was just syphCopy !req
428. you wouldn't have woken me up
in the middle of the night.Copy !req
429. If it was just syph,
he wouldn't be getting worse.Copy !req
430. He's already on penicillin.Copy !req
431. The bleeding's probably
from liver damage,Copy !req
432. probably caused by ethanol in
the cleansers or the penicillin.Copy !req
433. Two more probablies
than I like to hear.Copy !req
434. Liver test and serologies,
are going to take a full day.Copy !req
435. Full night, actually.Copy !req
436. Guy might not
make it to brunch.Copy !req
437. Yes, I knew about
your issue with alcohol.Copy !req
438. Yes, I intentionally
got you drunkCopy !req
439. to provoke an argument,
between you and Amber.Copy !req
440. And why I'd do such a thing
is an interesting question.Copy !req
441. But what's more interesting is
that you knew as much as I did,Copy !req
442. and you're the one who's
pouring down the drinks. Why?Copy !req
443. Because I thought I was out
having fun with a friend.Copy !req
444. I didn't know these
drinks had subtext.Copy !req
445. I gotta get home.Copy !req
446. GGT's normal,
that rules out alcohol.Copy !req
447. What about
serum protein?Copy !req
448. It's positive.Copy !req
449. Kind of assumed
he had protein.Copy !req
450. It's how much protein he has
that we care about.Copy !req
451. He's positive for syphilis.Copy !req
452. Do you mind if I give you
a performance review?Copy !req
453. Not the patient. House.
He has syphilis.Copy !req
454. What happened?Copy !req
455. Every time I searched my soul,
I found Anna.Copy !req
456. Are you going to tell Marie?Copy !req
457. I have to.Copy !req
458. It will
destroy her!Copy !req
459. Will it
be any worse...Copy !req
460. Yes?Copy !req
461. You might want
to turn the off TV.Copy !req
462. I'm multitasking. Also
doing my taxes. And Cuddy.Copy !req
463. What did you find out?Copy !req
464. Patient has hepatitis.Copy !req
465. I assume from your omission of
the word "viral" before the "hep"Copy !req
466. that it's not another STD.Copy !req
467. Put him on steroids and test him
for sarcoid before the liver failureCopy !req
468. becomes liver failed.Copy !req
469. We're all doing this.Copy !req
470. There's more?Copy !req
471. You have syphilis.Copy !req
472. Love lasts forever.Copy !req
473. No, I don't.Copy !req
474. One of us found a vial of your
blood in the lab from when we...Copy !req
475. Which one of you?Copy !req
476. It's treatable.Copy !req
477. We filled a prescription.Copy !req
478. You okay?Copy !req
479. So, this is why
he is who he is.Copy !req
480. We don't know.Copy !req
481. We know. It's not just
a coincidence.Copy !req
482. Wilson says he's
always been a jerk.Copy !req
483. But he got worse.Copy !req
484. After his leg.Copy !req
485. The leg was a coincidence.Copy !req
486. Did you sleep with him?Copy !req
487. So what's going to happen?
What's gonna change?Copy !req
488. Maybe he'll be less of a jerk.Copy !req
489. Or less of a doctor.Copy !req
490. You gotta be a jerk
to be a good doctor?Copy !req
491. I don't know.
Maybe House does.Copy !req
492. Why aren't you answering me?Copy !req
493. Because it's none
of their business.Copy !req
494. It's none of your business.Copy !req
495. I think the STD makes
it my business.Copy !req
496. Humans are complicated.Copy !req
497. Humans are simple.Copy !req
498. A million different things
make us who we are.Copy !req
499. You change one,
you change everything.Copy !req
500. If Mozart was better adjusted,Copy !req
501. decides to play catch one day,
maybe there's no Magic Flute.Copy !req
502. You did, didn't you?Copy !req
503. Something I need to tell you.Copy !req
504. You returned
him drunk.Copy !req
505. On time.
Drunk.Copy !req
506. On time. No tag backs.Copy !req
507. The purpose of the time
was to give me time.Copy !req
508. So you didn't have sex...Copy !req
509. I like sex.
You can have it tonight.Copy !req
510. The I Word is on.Copy !req
511. You don't get to
decide what matters.Copy !req
512. Either you're genuinely afraid
I'm gonna make him miserable,Copy !req
513. or you're afraid I'm gonna make him
happy, or you simply can't stop screwingCopy !req
514. with anything that moves. It doesn't
really matter because, whatever the reason,Copy !req
515. you'll only get worse. Until
either I stop seeing WilsonCopy !req
516. or I stop you.Copy !req
517. What do you think
I'm going to choose?Copy !req
518. If you terminate the agreement, that's
not gonna bring peace to the Mideast.Copy !req
519. I'm not terminating
the agreement.Copy !req
520. I'm amending the agreement.Copy !req
521. I'm adding penalty clauses.Copy !req
522. Fine. Whoever violates it
gets their finger cut off.Copy !req
523. I'm serious.
So am I.Copy !req
524. You want people
to drive safer,Copy !req
525. take out the airbags and attach
a machete pointing at their neck.Copy !req
526. No one will drive over
three miles per hour.Copy !req
527. I'm not cutting...
We'll figure it out.Copy !req
528. On your time.Copy !req
529. You know she's certifiable,
right? I got forms in my desk.Copy !req
530. Where is she wrong?Copy !req
531. What were you
going to tell me?Copy !req
532. Nothing.Copy !req
533. You're punishing me?Copy !req
534. I needed to tell you
something privately.Copy !req
535. I'm not gonna tell her.Copy !req
536. You'll tell her. She's your
girlfriend. You should tell her.Copy !req
537. You're my friend.Copy !req
538. It's not the same.Copy !req
539. Don't sulk.Copy !req
540. Where am I wrong?Copy !req
541. "Your management style
is counterproductive.Copy !req
542. "You gave me authority over the
team just so they could undercut... "Copy !req
543. Critiquing the clap-addled?Copy !req
544. Sort of tasteless.Copy !req
545. I don't feel like waiting
until your genitals cleared up.Copy !req
546. You need to formalize
my authority over the team.Copy !req
547. No, I don't.Copy !req
548. You don't think I'm qualified?Copy !req
549. Compared to those three?Copy !req
550. You want to punish Cuddy
for hiring me without...Copy !req
551. I like Cuddy.Copy !req
552. Parts of her.Copy !req
553. You want to crush the team,
by crushing me?Copy !req
554. I want to empower them.Copy !req
555. Those three idiots
need to respect you.Copy !req
556. They should respect you.
They should be afraid of you.Copy !req
557. So I have to humiliate you.Copy !req
558. See, if the team fears you,
they won't question you,Copy !req
559. if they don't question you,
they won't get any answers,Copy !req
560. if they don't get any answers,
they're useless.Copy !req
561. Mocking me saves lives?Copy !req
562. Hospital will probably build
you a statue one day.Copy !req
563. You know, with a "kick me"
sign, on the back.Copy !req
564. So when you think about it,
the more I mock you,Copy !req
565. the more it shows
that I have respect for you.Copy !req
566. Or you made up that B.S.
Because you like humiliating me.Copy !req
567. Wouldn't rule that
out completely.Copy !req
568. You busy?Copy !req
569. Almost done.Copy !req
570. So just remember, the rabbit goes
around the tree and jumps down the hole.Copy !req
571. Negative for sarcoidosis.Copy !req
572. Run him for everything
you can think of.Copy !req
573. Lepto, schisto, hemo and the fourth
Marx Brother nobody ever heard of.Copy !req
574. You bitch!Copy !req
575. I just went to get us some
lunch. You were asleep.Copy !req
576. You moved my book!Copy !req
577. Jeff, calm down,
it's just the drugs.Copy !req
578. The drugs didn't move my...Copy !req
579. Jeff?Copy !req
580. My husband's having a heart attack!
Can somebody help me, please?Copy !req
581. Somebody help me, please!Copy !req
582. She saved his life.Copy !req
583. Or she scabbed. Depends
on your point of view.Copy !req
584. So, what do we think? New
symptom? Or just a wife beater?Copy !req
585. Hey.Copy !req
586. Time for you took
this baby for a spin.Copy !req
587. We loaded him full of prednisone
to try to fix the liver.Copy !req
588. Good news is, he's running
out of organs to fail.Copy !req
589. Prednisone could cause roid rage,
which could cause hypertension,Copy !req
590. which results...Copy !req
591. Roid rage after six hours?Copy !req
592. That rate, by sundown,
he'll have eaten most of us.Copy !req
593. Still could be the penicillin,
allergic reaction.Copy !req
594. How does a fried liver
put him into a rage?Copy !req
595. It's not frying his liver,
it's frying his syphilis.Copy !req
596. The penicillin's working.
The real patient's emerging.Copy !req
597. So syphilis prevents
domestic violence.Copy !req
598. I'm gonna be even more
attractive to the ladies.Copy !req
599. I was about to test for a
heart issue before the syphilis.Copy !req
600. PFO could explain
the heart attack,Copy !req
601. and reduced blood flow to the
brain could explain the rage.Copy !req
602. Well, they're all good ideas.Copy !req
603. Okay. Let's take a vote.Copy !req
604. How many think
it's the roids talking?Copy !req
605. And who's for the penicillin?Copy !req
606. And how about
whatever she said?Copy !req
607. Someone hasn't
raised their hand.Copy !req
608. Whatever I decide?Copy !req
609. You're setting me up.Copy !req
610. Why would I do that?Copy !req
611. PFO.Copy !req
612. PFOs have it.Copy !req
613. I just hope the bubble test is
positive. Or it's no more Mr. Nice Guy.Copy !req
614. We gave van Gogh chelation therapy.
Turned him into a house painter.Copy !req
615. Maybe not. Maybe we just
put Hitler on Ritalin.Copy !req
616. Are you comparing
House to Hitler?Copy !req
617. Oh, God.Copy !req
618. Just because I don't think he's
Hitler doesn't mean I slept with him.Copy !req
619. I don't sleep with everyone
who's better than Hitler.Copy !req
620. Maybe Taub's right.
Maybe this is good.Copy !req
621. This is not good.Copy !req
622. He respected our opinions, he mocked
himself, he was civil, he shared.Copy !req
623. He didn't care.Copy !req
624. He never cares.Copy !req
625. He didn't vote. He always
cared about one thing,Copy !req
626. solving the puzzle.Copy !req
627. But he was irrelevant in that
diagnosis, he had no opinion of his own.Copy !req
628. He now cares about nothing.Copy !req
629. You had no choice, you had to
treat him. What's done is done.Copy !req
630. You know that thing I was going
to tell you? I gotta tell you.Copy !req
631. I got to tell someone. You
have to swear not to tell C.B.Copy !req
632. Whatever. That's not
swearing, that's shrugging.Copy !req
633. It's actually the
opposite of swearing.Copy !req
634. I won't tell Amber.Copy !req
635. My team thinks
that I have syphilis.Copy !req
636. Do you?
Not yet.Copy !req
637. Why do they think you do?Copy !req
638. Because I knew they had
access to an old blood sample.Copy !req
639. I knew they'd test it
sometime for something.Copy !req
640. Why would you swap your blood?
What are you afraid they'd find?Copy !req
641. Shut up, you're missing the point.
Now they think that I'm on penicillin.Copy !req
642. Is this some clever practical
joke that I'm not aware of?Copy !req
643. And as I get better,
I get nicer.Copy !req
644. That's brilliant.Copy !req
645. Foreman thinks I actually
value his opinion.Copy !req
646. Thank God he said PFO or I'd
have had to do some dancing.Copy !req
647. You got time for bowling?Copy !req
648. Come on, it's work hours.Copy !req
649. I'll get my shoes.Copy !req
650. So we don't need to talk about... No.Copy !req
651. You're gonna keep screwing... Yeah.Copy !req
652. And you're gonna keep talking
about it. We are who we are.Copy !req
653. I'll get my shoes.Copy !req
654. Okay, got a good
view of the heart.Copy !req
655. What if we lower House's
dosage? Maybe stabilize him?Copy !req
656. He doesn't get worse,
he doesn't get better.Copy !req
657. Quite the line to walk. If we're
wrong, he dies of neurosyphilis.Copy !req
658. If we don't,
other people die.Copy !req
659. Other people
who aren't our boss.Copy !req
660. People.Copy !req
661. This sucks. The guy
had a gift. I killed...Copy !req
662. Hi. What...Copy !req
663. House doesn't have syphilis.Copy !req
664. He switched
the blood samples.Copy !req
665. How do you know that?Copy !req
666. House told Wilson.Copy !req
667. I wanted to ruin
House's day. See you.Copy !req
668. We're idiots.
We're not idiots.Copy !req
669. Positive blood test
means positive blood test.Copy !req
670. Apparently not.Copy !req
671. There they are.
Let's see if they...Copy !req
672. What are you doing?
We're not done.Copy !req
673. He doesn't have syphilis.Copy !req
674. I know.Copy !req
675. Patient tested
positive for syphilis, right?Copy !req
676. Is this some sort of recap?Copy !req
677. But why did he test
positive for syphilis?Copy !req
678. Oh, oh, I know this.Copy !req
679. Either, one,
he has syphilis.Copy !req
680. I was gonna say that.Copy !req
681. Or two, the test
was wrong twice.Copy !req
682. Or three, he gave us
someone else's blood.Copy !req
683. Who?
Amber.Copy !req
684. Get that idiotic smile out of my
face, I got to go on a killing spree.Copy !req
685. Or four, he has something that
tests positive for syphilis.Copy !req
686. It's not Chagas.
He worked in Costa Rica,Copy !req
687. before he was married.Copy !req
688. Is two a spree or do
I have to kill you too?Copy !req
689. Chagas wouldn't
explain the niceness.Copy !req
690. I've heard of remote tribes that
actually practice acts of kindness.Copy !req
691. Or the Chagas
caused encephalitis.Copy !req
692. The MRI showed no signs...Copy !req
693. Until we started him on steroids,
compromised the immune systemCopy !req
694. and let the
infection flare up.Copy !req
695. I did another one.
It's not much.Copy !req
696. It's plenty.Copy !req
697. You figured this out
because I don't have syphilis?Copy !req
698. Damn.Copy !req
699. It should have
been my epiphany.Copy !req
700. Good news and bad news.Copy !req
701. Good news is,
we know what you have,Copy !req
702. it's treatable,
and you're going to live.Copy !req
703. Really?Copy !req
704. What's the bad news?Copy !req
705. The cure is a grueling
course of pills.Copy !req
706. It's likeCopy !req
707. one a day for a month.Copy !req
708. Now you're just trying
to make me laugh.Copy !req
709. Yeah, like that's a challenge.Copy !req
710. You have Chagas disease.Copy !req
711. It's a parasite. It's been
asymptomatic for 10 years.Copy !req
712. Not quite. Your brain's been
swollen, not enough to see,Copy !req
713. but enough to alter
your personality.Copy !req
714. We're back to that?Copy !req
715. He screamed at you,
you don't think he can change?Copy !req
716. That was because of the drugs.Copy !req
717. So you think drugs are more
powerful than parasites?Copy !req
718. I mean, the ones we're gonna give you
to treat the parasites obviously are,Copy !req
719. but I stand by the principle.Copy !req
720. I'm not worried.Copy !req
721. Neither am I.Copy !req
722. Neither am I. But that's
because I don't care.Copy !req
723. Reviews?Copy !req
724. It was brought to my
attention that, on occasion,Copy !req
725. I am not respectful
of hospital hierarchy.Copy !req
726. The word was "contemptuous. "Copy !req
727. Well phrased, thoughtful...Copy !req
728. Identically phrased.
These are all the same.Copy !req
729. Because underneath it all,
we are all the same.Copy !req
730. And Foreman refused
to type his up.Copy !req
731. Well, it's more
than I expected.Copy !req
732. There's an extra one in there.Copy !req
733. "Your treatment of patients
is nonexistentCopy !req
734. "because you're not a doctor,
you're an administrator. "Copy !req
735. Foreman convinced me
that these could be helpful.Copy !req
736. "Your management
of employees is,Copy !req
737. well, let's face it, they're
outside carrying signs. "Copy !req
738. The strike ended. The nurses have
been back for two shifts already.Copy !req
739. You'd think I'd have noticed. What
exactly did they do around here?Copy !req
740. "You act like employees should fear and
respect you, but your eyes tell us...Copy !req
741. "Actually your eyes tell us nothing,
because we're looking at your boobs,Copy !req
742. "which tell us that you're
desperate to have someone jump on youCopy !req
743. "and tell you they love you
one grunted syllable at a time.Copy !req
744. "What you want, you run away from.
What you need, you don't have a clue.Copy !req
745. "What you've accomplished
makes you proud.Copy !req
746. "But you're still miserable. "Copy !req
747. Please sign.Copy !req
748. I got a call from Amber today. Says
there's been a violation your contract.Copy !req
749. You've been seeing
Wilson on her time.Copy !req
750. She breached confidentiality. You
can let it slide, Officer, we're even.Copy !req
751. Yes, you are.
You're both losing fingers.Copy !req
752. Look what I found.Copy !req
753. Nice.Copy !req
754. They think you might be able
to come home tomorrow.Copy !req
755. Yeah? That's good.Copy !req
756. What's the matter?Copy !req
757. The ketchup. There's
something wrong with that.Copy !req
758. Tastes fine.
Is there anything else?Copy !req
759. Everything else is great.Copy !req
760. I just, I don't know, I guess
I don't like ketchup anymore.Copy !req
761. Wonder what else I don't like.Copy !req
762. Roll over.Copy !req
763. We need a tougher punishment.Copy !req
764. You want to come over
to the poopy side?Copy !req
765. So where are you two
going Friday night?Copy !req
766. Dinner at L'Auberge.Copy !req
767. You're lying.Copy !req
768. Of course I am.Copy !req