1. Two spades.
Copy !req
2. Three hearts.
Copy !req
3. It's all yours.
Copy !req
4. I fold.
Copy !req
5. And that's five.
Copy !req
6. - And that's six.
- Yay!
Copy !req
7. Not bad.
Copy !req
8. On a slam contract, you normally
want to play your winners early.
Copy !req
9. Sorry, Dad.
Copy !req
10. Nah. You're learning.
You're doing fine.
Copy !req
11. Connie Gilman's a good player.
And a widow.
Copy !req
12. I should, uh, take her out
because she can play bridge.
Copy !req
13. You're a true romantic.
Copy !req
14. Woman 2:
You should ask somebody out.
You think Cecile's not dating yet?
Copy !req
15. - Cecile was dating before she left.
- Oh, shut up, Marv.
Copy !req
16. No. I have a partner.
And she's doing great.
Copy !req
17. Amy should be out having fun.
Copy !req
18. I'm having fun.
Copy !req
19. Yeah.
Copy !req
20. Look like you're having
the time of your life.
Copy !req
21. - One no trump.
- (Woman, laughing) Ooh!
Copy !req
22. I'm just... a little nauseous.
I, uh, I think I ate too much.
Copy !req
23. - Can we take a break?
- Of course.
Copy !req
24. Excuse us.
Copy !req
25. What did you eat?
Copy !req
26. Nothing weird.
Copy !req
27. - Have you been drinking?
- No, Dad. You know I don't—
Copy !req
28. Because I don't mind if you—
Copy !req
29. Dad?
Copy !req
30. Dad?
Copy !req
31. Dad, what are you doing?
Copy !req
32. You're scaring me.
It hurts. Let go!
Copy !req
33. What are you doing?
Copy !req
34. Henry?
Copy !req
35. Henry.
Let go of her.
Copy !req
36. The occasional drink
doesn't bother me. But...
Copy !req
37. What?
Copy !req
38. Are you okay?
Copy !req
39. What's the matter?
Copy !req
40. 2X14 - Sex Kills
Copy !req
41. Original Airdate (FOX): 7 March-2006
Copy !req
42. No, Nothing.
Copy !req
43. He's been really healthy.
He jogs, he eats right. He—
Copy !req
44. I—well, I did have
a headache last Sunday.
Copy !req
45. And for the past two years,
I've been getting acid reflux a lot.
Copy !req
46. And I thought that, uh,
antacids were all I needed.
Copy !req
47. Should I have come in sooner?
Copy !req
48. For acid reflux and a headache?
Copy !req
49. Well, I—you know,
I hear the coffee downstairs
is really good.
Copy !req
50. Could you get me a cup, Honey?
Copy !req
51. Would you mind
closing the blinds?
Copy !req
52. His right testicle is almost
twice as big as his left.
Copy !req
53. Cool.
Copy !req
54. It's probably testicular cancer.
Copy !req
55. Mmm, no.
That's impossible.
Copy !req
56. - The symptoms all indicate—
- The shoes aren't right.
Copy !req
57. Here's how testicular cancer
would manifest itself.
Copy !req
58. First, the patient would get
the exact symptoms that he's got.
Copy !req
59. Then Foreman would examine him.
Copy !req
60. Then he'd suspect
testicular cancer on account of
the symptoms being so perfect.
Copy !req
61. Then he'd stick a needle in it.
Then he'd call a surgeon.
Copy !req
62. And while that guy operates,
the rest of us would be out bowling.
Copy !req
63. And since we're not
wearing bowling shoes,
Copy !req
64. the disease obviously
did not progress in that fashion.
Copy !req
65. LP showed some white cells.
But his MRI is clean.
Copy !req
66. Sure. If you call a microabscess
in his brain "clean."
Copy !req
67. What, you don't trust me?
Copy !req
68. Are you talking about
the left temporal lobe?
Copy !req
69. Neat. You can see
through my hand.
Copy !req
70. - It's just a shadow.
- Or it's an infection.
Copy !req
71. When guys have brain/crotch problems,
it's usually the result of using
one too much and the other too little.
Copy !req
72. Blood and urine were negative for
syphilis, gonorrhea, and chlamydia.
Copy !req
73. So treat him for all three.
Stat.
Copy !req
74. Um... negative means
he doesn't have it.
Copy !req
75. No. Negative means
he probably doesn't have it.
Which means he probably has cancer.
Copy !req
76. I thought we were wearing
the wrong shoes for cancer.
Copy !req
77. We're wearing the wrong shoes
for testicular cancer.
Copy !req
78. They're perfect for lymphoma.
Copy !req
79. Except Chase's.
They're just goofy.
Copy !req
80. Lymphoma could cause infiltrants
in his reproductive organs and his brain.
Copy !req
81. If it's this advanced,
he's dead no matter what we do.
Copy !req
82. So give him the STD meds
and hope the tests were wrong.
Copy !req
83. Svinnuk.
Copy !req
84. Who's the lucky woman?
Copy !req
85. My wife.
Copy !req
86. No, I don't want to know
who gets the chocolates.
Copy !req
87. I want to know who
you're having the affair with.
Copy !req
88. Fell on his head as a child.
Tragic.
Copy !req
89. Norwegian chocolate.
Copy !req
90. Frankly,
you buy that stuff,
the terrorists win.
Copy !req
91. Some people bottle up their feelings,
have them come out as physical pain.
Copy !req
92. Healthy human beings express feelings,
such as affection, by giving gifts.
Copy !req
93. Gifts express guilt.
Copy !req
94. The more expensive the expression,
the deeper the guilt. That's a $12 box.
Copy !req
95. So either you haven't
slept with her yet,
or she wasn't that good.
Copy !req
96. It's not all about sex, House.
Copy !req
97. Really?
When did that change?
Copy !req
98. I want to get Depo-Provera.
Copy !req
99. Actually, at your age,
as long as you're careful,
Copy !req
100. the risk of you getting
pregnant is pretty limited.
Copy !req
101. Yeah, but it would
calm me down.
Copy !req
102. Right? If I get
a high enough dose.
Copy !req
103. You mean
"calm" as in a peaceful lake,
on cool summer evening?
Copy !req
104. Or in the lesser used meaning of,
nothing can ever bother you again
because life has absolutely no meaning?
Copy !req
105. High dose of Depo-Provera
will chemically castrate you.
Copy !req
106. Yeah.
Copy !req
107. Okay. I'm gonna
get up to leave now.
Copy !req
108. And I'm gonna walk to that door,
turn the handle.
Copy !req
109. And then you're
suddenly gonna decide that
you have to tell me the truth.
Copy !req
110. I'm gonna have to turn around
and come all the way back.
Copy !req
111. See, the thing is,
my leg hurts.
Copy !req
112. Can we cut the walking
out of the equation?
Copy !req
113. I love cows.
Copy !req
114. Any particular... variety?
Copy !req
115. Guernseys? Holsteins?
Copy !req
116. Which are the black and white ones?
Copy !req
117. Oh, God.
Copy !req
118. I pass a farm
on my way to school.
Copy !req
119. And they're so beautiful.
Copy !req
120. They're so majestic.
I dream about them.
Copy !req
121. Leather shoes, hamburgers.
How can anybody do that to a cow?
Copy !req
122. Make love, not belts.
It's beautiful.
Copy !req
123. - I haven't actually—
- Well, relax.
Copy !req
124. Something we doctors
deal with all the time.
Copy !req
125. I'm gonna write you
the name of a drug.
Copy !req
126. You don't need a prescription.
And it looks just like Depo-Provera.
Copy !req
127. - But does it do the same thing?
- Oh, God, no.
Copy !req
128. That stuff has
all sorts of nasty side effects.
It's real medicine.
Copy !req
129. No, this is all you need.
Copy !req
130. Your frat buddies will
be completely fooled.
Copy !req
131. Tell them how appalled
the doctor was.
Copy !req
132. Lots of laughs.
Copy !req
133. We think you may have
a sexually transmitted disease.
Copy !req
134. No. It's not possible.
Copy !req
135. Sir, maybe we should
speak in private?
Copy !req
136. Have you tested him for this?
Copy !req
137. The tests were negative.
Copy !req
138. Well, then it's not that.
Copy !req
139. So what else could it be?
Copy !req
140. Nothing good.
Copy !req
141. If you've been having sex,
you have to tell me.
Copy !req
142. I have not had sex
since my divorce.
Copy !req
143. I didn't ask him
to take the medicine.
Copy !req
144. I asked you
to give him the medicine.
Copy !req
145. He hasn't had sex
in over a year.
Copy !req
146. - He's lying.
- He knows what's at stake.
Copy !req
147. We should start treating him
for lymphoma right away.
Copy !req
148. - Maybe if we hit him hard and fast—
- Wilson!
Copy !req
149. How long can you
go without sex?
Copy !req
150. How long can you
go without annoying people?
Copy !req
151. No, seriously.
Week? Month?
Copy !req
152. I'm not having an affair.
Copy !req
153. I didn't say you were.
Not in this conversation.
Copy !req
154. We're talking about a patient.
Copy !req
155. People have impulse control.
We don't need sex.
Copy !req
156. Well, not like air.
But as a biological imperative,
sure we do.
Copy !req
157. There's two things
we get stupid for.
Money and sex.
Copy !req
158. And since money rarely
enters the bloodstream...
Copy !req
159. Was his daughter in the room
when you asked if he'd had sex?
Copy !req
160. I told him we could talk privately.
He didn't care if she was there.
Copy !req
161. It's almost noon.
Little girl would go to lunch.
Copy !req
162. Soon as she's out the door,
you're gonna get paged.
Then you page me.
Copy !req
163. Lunch is early, huh?
Copy !req
164. Hi.
Copy !req
165. I'm Dr. House.
Copy !req
166. I hear you'd rather die
than admit you had sex.
Copy !req
167. I'm sorry. I...
couldn't tell my daughter.
Copy !req
168. Right. 'Cause she's... what, 22?
Copy !req
169. I slept with her mom.
Copy !req
170. She probably knows
that's happened already.
Copy !req
171. Roll over.
Copy !req
172. My wife had an affair.
I forgave her.
Copy !req
173. She had another affair.
And I forgave her again. And...
Copy !req
174. Amy thinks I was an idiot.
Copy !req
175. So smart.
You must be very proud.
Roll over.
Copy !req
176. I assume you've been in love.
Copy !req
177. Is that the one that
makes your pants feel funny?
Copy !req
178. I'm starting you
on a cocktail of STD meds.
Copy !req
179. Amy is just getting over it.
Copy !req
180. She barely spoke to her mom
for months actually.
Copy !req
181. If she thought that
it was happening again,
that that's why I got sick—
Copy !req
182. We just happened to be at
the same Italian cheese-tasting thing.
Copy !req
183. Cheese is the devil's play thing.
Copy !req
184. It was just the one night.
Copy !req
185. Oh, you're obviously
completely over her.
Copy !req
186. Amy thinks love leads you
to make stupid choices.
Copy !req
187. You're certainly setting
a good example for her.
Copy !req
188. Yeah. She just doesn't get it.
Copy !req
189. If you're not prepared to look stupid,
then nothing great is
ever gonna happen, right?
Copy !req
190. On the other hand,
I guess your testicles
aren't going to explode either.
Copy !req
191. Dad.
Copy !req
192. Is everything okay?
Copy !req
193. I have a sexually transmitted disease.
Copy !req
194. How's that possible?
Copy !req
195. He met a woman in church.
Copy !req
196. Does she play bridge?
Copy !req
197. Does she— Ha-ha.
Copy !req
198. - Crash cart!
- Oh, God...
Copy !req
199. - Is this another seizure?
- Shut up.
Copy !req
200. Comin' in!
Copy !req
201. Oh, God.
Copy !req
202. - Here you go.
- 40 milligrams furosemide.
Copy !req
203. Knock him out.
Copy !req
204. How would an STD do this?
Copy !req
205. It wouldn't.
Copy !req
206. It was flash pulmonary edema.
Copy !req
207. We took a liter of fluid off, but
the problem wasn't with his lungs.
It's his heart.
Copy !req
208. There are vegetations
obstructing his mitral valve.
Copy !req
209. It's not an STD.
Lymphoma wouldn't
erupt that suddenly.
Copy !req
210. So what is it, then?
A disease that attacks
his brain, heart, and testicles.
Copy !req
211. I think Byron wrote about that.
Copy !req
212. Could be psittacosis.
Copy !req
213. Chlamydia cultures
would've come back positive.
Copy !req
214. Strep viridans
can hit the heart.
Copy !req
215. Wouldn't mess with
the reproductive system.
Copy !req
216. Maybe things aren't...
so nicely connected.
Copy !req
217. He's 65.
Copy !req
218. We could be looking at
multiple systems just starting
to break down independently.
Copy !req
219. Way to a man's heart
is through his stomach.
Copy !req
220. He's had acid reflux for years.
It—it can't be relevant.
Copy !req
221. It seems there are
other ways to kill people
besides having sex with them.
Copy !req
222. You don't need this so much.
Copy !req
223. Problem is not your lungs.
Copy !req
224. It's your heart.
Copy !req
225. That Italian cheese thing
at the church.
Copy !req
226. What sort of cheese?
Copy !req
227. Why do you need to know?
Copy !req
228. I'm having a fondue party.
Copy !req
229. - Was it sheep cheese?
- Might have been. Why?
Copy !req
230. - Was it soft?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
231. - Taste like crap?
- Yeah. Bitter.
Copy !req
232. Taste like this?
Copy !req
233. - Yeah. But how did you—
- That was regularlow-fat American.
Copy !req
234. I added some bacteria.
For flavor.
Copy !req
235. You fed him bacteria?
Copy !req
236. It's pretty much on everything.
Copy !req
237. Especially the unpasteurized
sheep cheese they make in the Alps.
Copy !req
238. That stuff will give you brucellosis.
Copy !req
239. Key to a long life.
Exotic women, boring cheese.
Copy !req
240. Gonna start you on
rifampin and doxycycline.
Copy !req
241. Doesn't make any sense.
Copy !req
242. I mean, nobody else
at the church got sick.
Copy !req
243. 99.9 % of Christians have
so much acid in their stomach,
Copy !req
244. they become churning cauldrons of death
for all those nasty little brucellosis bugs.
Copy !req
245. But you were taking antacids
for your acid reflux.
Copy !req
246. So that turns your digestive tract
into a pleasant scenic river
for all those bacterial tourists.
Copy !req
247. You sure you're right?
Copy !req
248. Absolutely.
Your socks don't match.
Copy !req
249. Which means you got up
and got dressed in the dark,
Copy !req
250. which means you don't
want to wake your wife.
Copy !req
251. Which means you don't
want to talk to her.
Copy !req
252. - Which means—
- I was referring to your patient.
Copy !req
253. Oh, that. No.
Copy !req
254. Come on,
I'm basing it on cheese.
Copy !req
255. How long before
you get the tests back?
Copy !req
256. We'll know before that.
If I'm wrong,
Copy !req
257. he'll just keep
getting worse and slowly die.
Copy !req
258. But if I'm right,
either we caught it in time
and he gets better.
Copy !req
259. Or we didn't and he goes into
cardiac arrest at any moment.
Copy !req
260. Paddles.
Copy !req
261. Charging.
Copy !req
262. 250. Clear.
Copy !req
263. Charging. 300.
Copy !req
264. Clear.
Copy !req
265. Charging. 360. Clear.
Copy !req
266. Epinephrine.
Copy !req
267. Are you gonna tell her?
Copy !req
268. That you suspect an affair?
Copy !req
269. Sure. Well, she already
hates you, why not?
Copy !req
270. Because you think that
getting it off your chest will
let you sleep better. It won't.
Copy !req
271. You'll end up sleeping
on my lumpy couch.
Copy !req
272. There's nothing to tell.
Copy !req
273. Then why are you playing
foosball here at 8:00 at night?
Copy !req
274. You always want
to simplify everything.
Copy !req
275. Boil it down to
nice, easy equations.
Copy !req
276. Nice, easy answers.
Copy !req
277. Go home and have sex
with your wife.
Copy !req
278. His heart is back in sinus rhythm.
There's a lot of damage, though.
Copy !req
279. It was brucellosis,
but we got to it too late.
Copy !req
280. The vegetation broke off
in his main coronary artery
and caused an infarction.
Copy !req
281. His heart muscle's half-dead.
Copy !req
282. He'll be lucky to last a week.
Copy !req
283. Other than that,
how's he doing?
Copy !req
284. Seriously.
Copy !req
285. His brain, testicle, lungs, tonsils.
Copy !req
286. How's all that other stuff doing?
Copy !req
287. Uh... his brain is clear now.
And so is the genito-urinary tract.
And his kidney function is good.
Copy !req
288. So, all he needs is a heart,
and he's outta here.
Copy !req
289. He's a prime candidate
for transplant.
Copy !req
290. He doesn't smoke,
drinks moderately.
Copy !req
291. His tox screen was
negative for illegal drugs.
And legal ones.
Copy !req
292. Surveillance blood cultures
show absolutely no sign of
any lingering brucella bacteria.
Copy !req
293. He's 66 years old.
Copy !req
294. He told me he was 65.
Liar. I'm outta here.
Copy !req
295. There is an inverse correlation
between patient age and success rates.
Copy !req
296. He's in excellent health.
Copy !req
297. This was his first hospitalization
since breaking his leg at 23.
Copy !req
298. Or 22. I'm not sure anymore.
Copy !req
299. If this patient were
to survivethe operation,
he'd get another what?
Copy !req
300. 5, 10, maybe 20 years
if he's very lucky.
Copy !req
301. So you're saying that
old people aren't as worth
saving as young people.
Copy !req
302. He's saying that
hearts are a scarce resource.
Copy !req
303. We obviously have to
choose criteria—
Copy !req
304. No, I get it. Women live longer,
so they should get preference, right?
Copy !req
305. And African-Americans,
they die a lot younger.
So to hell with them.
Copy !req
306. What, you think
you're gonna win me over
by calling me a racist?
Copy !req
307. If the test is who gets to use it the longest,
you can either be a racistor a hypocrite.
Copy !req
308. Your patient had a life.
A family.
Copy !req
309. We've got 18-year-old kids
who will neve—
Copy !req
310. How old are you, Doctor?
Copy !req
311. When do we get to
toss you on an ice flow?
Copy !req
312. And thank you, Dr. House.
Copy !req
313. Unless anybody else has
any further questions,
we will now go into private session.
Copy !req
314. Oh, I'm on pins and needles.
Copy !req
315. I wonder how you'll decide.
Copy !req
316. The Nets just won
their third game in a row.
Beat the Lakers.
Copy !req
317. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
318. They voted no.
Copy !req
319. So...
Copy !req
320. when...
Copy !req
321. will I die?
Copy !req
322. Might have a week.
Copy !req
323. God.
Copy !req
324. I wrote a letter to the board of directors,
appealing the transplant committee's decision.
Copy !req
325. I'm alleging bias against you
clouded their medical judgment.
Copy !req
326. I need you to sign.
Copy !req
327. They made the right call.
Copy !req
328. You don't believe that.
You told the committee—
Copy !req
329. I was advocating
for my patient.
Copy !req
330. - Then why are you—
- Advocating for my patient.
Copy !req
331. I've got clinic duty.
Copy !req
332. I need you to get me the files
on everybody who dies here today.
Copy !req
333. You really think this thing'll
change their decision?
Copy !req
334. Nope.
Copy !req
335. Mooooo!
Copy !req
336. I think I broke my ankle.
Copy !req
337. I was kicked. By a hoof.
Copy !req
338. I'm so in love.
She was so beautiful.
Copy !req
339. - Which one?
- One of the black and white ones.
Copy !req
340. - I'm not sure what type.
- Which "type"? Which one?
Copy !req
341. I want a name.
Copy !req
342. - Why would it have a name?
- Well, not "it." She. Or he.
Copy !req
343. I want to know
her dreams, her hopes.
Copy !req
344. It's a cow.
Copy !req
345. Hey, I'm not the one
who said he was in love.
Copy !req
346. People who actually have this condition
rationalize it. They dismiss it.
They don't elevate it to the level of poetry.
Copy !req
347. Plus there's
a wooden splinter in there.
Copy !req
348. So either you hit yourself
with a two-by-four
or Elsie has a peg leg.
Copy !req
349. I'm off duty at 6:00.
Copy !req
350. Give yourself another whack,
come back and scam somebody else.
Copy !req
351. I'm sick. And you're a doctor.
You have a duty to help me.
Copy !req
352. Technically I don't
have to treat anybody.
Copy !req
353. Before running a series of
painful and often humiliating tests.
Copy !req
354. Whatever you need.
Copy !req
355. 90-year-old woman
died of pneumonia.
Copy !req
356. Unless she has a bionic heart,
what's next?
Copy !req
357. - Um... baby died in the ICU.
- Babies are useless.
Copy !req
358. They've got hearts the size
of ping-pong balls. Next?
Copy !req
359. Um... 40-year-old male...
Copy !req
360. Yes?
Copy !req
361. Heart attack.
Copy !req
362. If you really cared about me,
you'd find me a better corpse.
Copy !req
363. There's no other deaths.
There's one woman who
was in a car accident.
Copy !req
364. Bad one, I hope.
Copy !req
365. The organ procurement people
have been notified.
Copy !req
366. Give me her file.
Copy !req
367. It's in the ER.
They're still working on her.
Copy !req
368. - Age?
- About 40.
Copy !req
369. - Young. Damn.
- Young is good.
Copy !req
370. - Smoker?
- Don't know.
Copy !req
371. Find out.
Copy !req
372. She's still alive.
Even if we get on the list,
we can't go near her until—
Copy !req
373. Overweight?
Copy !req
374. She's on the hefty side.
Copy !req
375. Excellent.
Our odds just went up.
Copy !req
376. What odds?
What is this?
Copy !req
377. 60 % of potential donor hearts
get tossed in the trash because
there's something wrong with them.
Copy !req
378. With fat people,
it's closer to 80.
Copy !req
379. But if her heart's
no good, then—
Copy !req
380. Big, fat, sloppy heart.
Beats no heart at all.
Copy !req
381. - Are you Mr. Neuberger?
- Yes.
Copy !req
382. I'm Dr. House.
Copy !req
383. Need to ask you a few questions
about your wife.
Copy !req
384. Is she gonna be okay?
Copy !req
385. I'm afraid I don't know that.
Copy !req
386. Could you tell me
about her accident?
Copy !req
387. They, uh, think she fell asleep,
went off the road.
That's all they told me.
Copy !req
388. Any problems with her health
up until now?
Copy !req
389. Why?
Copy !req
390. Please, it's important.
Copy !req
391. Um...
Copy !req
392. she had a fever today,
but otherwise she was—
Copy !req
393. How high?
Copy !req
394. About 101.
Copy !req
395. She hasn't missed a day
of teaching in years.
Copy !req
396. And I should've
made her stay home.
Copy !req
397. Any other symptoms?
Copy !req
398. A stomachache. Who cares?
She was in a car crash.
Copy !req
399. - Mr. Neuberger.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
400. My name's Ellen Stambler.
I'm the organ procurement coordinator
for Southern New Jersey.
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401. I just want to assure you
that we'll treat her organs
with care and dignity.
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402. Her organs?
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403. Laura died?
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404. I—I'm sorry.
I thought, um—
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405. She was just pronounced dead.
I thought he was telling you.
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406. I didn't know.
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407. You should never make assumptions.
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408. What did you want from me?
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409. I'm sorry for your loss.
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410. But I need your wife's heart.
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411. The organ procurement coordinator
just left the hospital.
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412. Means we got lucky.
Either that or she's getting lunch.
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413. Dead woman's last name
have a "U" or "W"?
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414. You're hacking into
a confidential patient file?
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415. Is that a problem for you?
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416. It's a "U". N-E-U.
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417. Berger.
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418. Three minutes ago,
her organs were officially
declared not viable.
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419. Time to go dumpster diving.
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420. Hey.
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421. She's got hepatitis C.
Her ALTs are three times normal.
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422. With Henry's immune system down,
an infected heart will kill him.
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423. Fortunately,
she didn't have hep C.
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424. - She tested positive.
- Her history says otherwise.
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425. Her husband told me
she was running a fever
with stomach pains.
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426. Not symptomatic of hep C.
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427. Hey, what are you doing?
What are you doing?
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428. Hey. What are you doing?
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429. Again, sorry.
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430. But we need to talk.
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431. Mr. Neuberger has every right
to take his wife off the ventilator.
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432. His wife signed
an organ donor card.
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433. Which became invalid when
her organs were turned down.
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434. I can use them!
I just need some time.
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435. Committee says
they won't take her heart.
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436. Another committee says
the guy can't have a heart.
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437. It's a marriage made in heaven.
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438. I can find a surgical team
that can do this.
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439. Classified as experimental,
it's not gonna screw
with their numbers.
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440. - This is what she wanted.
- No.
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441. She wanted her organs to help—
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442. She never wanted to
be kept alive on a ventilator.
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443. She's not. She's dead!
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444. She's not in pain.
She's not suffering.
It's just her...
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445. meat we're dealing with here.
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446. - This is my wife.
- Not anymore.
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447. She deserves some respect.
Some dignity.
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448. - I respect the living.
- Right.
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449. That is why you made me think
that you were her doctor.
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450. Made me believe that
maybe there was some hope.
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451. I never said that
I was her doctor.
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452. Fine, you didn't lie.
But you sure as hell
didn't give me any respect.
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453. I am taking her
off the machines. Now.
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454. Nicely played.
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455. It's not over.
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456. Excuse me.
Are you Mr. Neuberger?
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457. Yeah. Why?
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458. I'm Amy Arrington.
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459. I wanted to thank you.
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460. This girl's father will die
by next weekend unless
he gets your wife's heart.
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461. House. Don't you think
that's a little manipulative?
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462. No. It's hugely manipulative.
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463. You're an ass.
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464. Hey. Listen!
You take your wife
off life support,
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465. and I'll have forgotten
about this in two weeks.
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466. - Gail here, on the other hand—
- Amy.
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467. Whatever.
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468. You're mad at me.
Fine, I get that.
Take it out on me. Not on her.
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469. Oof!
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470. Fine. Your dad can, uh...
have her heart.
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471. Fever. Stomach pain.
Raised liver enzymes.
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472. She's sick.
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473. Worse than that.
She's dead.
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474. My point is,
even if it's not hep C,
it's something.
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475. They turned her down as a donor
because if we put that heart
into someone, they won't survive.
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476. Whatever made her sick
will kill him.
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477. Yeah. So what is it?
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478. Enzymes indicate—
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479. You want us to do
a differential diagnosis
on a dead person?
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480. We're going to cure her.
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481. We're going to cure death?
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482. Doubt it.
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483. Just want to get the infection
out of her heart before
we get the heart out of her.
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484. The fever indicates an infection.
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485. She probably has hep C
and a bad case of the flu.
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486. Let's assume, just for fun,
that the answer is something
that might be helpful.
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487. Fever and belly pain
could be a gall bladder infection.
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488. Like that.
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489. Do an MRI. Stat.
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490. You really don't need to be here.
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491. I assume, uh,
House is a great doctor.
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492. Why would you assume that?
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493. Because, uh,
when you're that big a jerk,
you're either great or unemployed.
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494. No sign of gall bladder infection.
But there was a cyst.
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495. Perfectly round.
Now, hep C wouldn't cause—
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496. The question was never,
is it hep C?
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497. The question was given
that it's not hep C, what is it?
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498. - Adenoma?
- Not solid enough.
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499. Cavernous hemangioma?
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500. Not vascular enough.
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501. What if she was sloppy about
washing her hands after pooping?
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502. Uh... amoeba infection?
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503. If the amebiasis started in her liver,
then spread to her blood,
that would explain all her symptoms.
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504. Except for the crushed skull, but
I'm assuming that's from the car crash.
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505. I'll start her on
paromomycin and chloroquine.
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506. Ten grams each.
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507. That's... 20 times
the normal dose.
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508. Right. So we'll destroy
her retinas and damage her hearing.
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509. Whoever wants those parts
is having a very bad day.
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510. Couple hours on the meds,
she'll be feeling great.
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511. Got your labs.
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512. - Do you eat guinea pigs?
- No.
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513. How about hamsters or mice?
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514. Humans?
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515. What are you talking about?
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516. Is something wrong with me?
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517. Absolutely nothing.
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518. Your blood work is perfect.
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519. You've got lots of vitamins,
minerals. All kinds of proteins.
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520. Including a little something
I like to call bovine serum albumin.
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521. Which you get from eating
the animals mentioned.
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522. Or cow.
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523. You don't really worship cows.
Copy !req
524. So I have to wonder,
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525. what could be more humiliating than
someone calling your girlfriend a cow
and not being metaphorical?
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526. - Nice.
- It's my mom.
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527. Well, either that's
a very old photograph,
or it's your stepmom.
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528. She goes around the house
in a bikini. Or less.
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529. I-I can't stop
thinking about her.
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530. My dad's in Europe.
I'll be watching TV,
she'll give me a massage.
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531. I can't walk for an hour.
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532. - Still. Cows?
- She's my mother!
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533. Step.
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534. Please.
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535. I just need the medicine
for three months until I graduate
and I move out of the house.
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536. Please.
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537. You're not gonna have
any fun at graduation.
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538. Keep up the good work.
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539. Your shirt is ironed.
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540. That means you haven't
told your wife anything.
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541. Let's say you're right.
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542. You're saying I'm right?
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543. No. Let is saying.
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544. Does it occur to you that maybe
there's some deeper guidance
than "keep your mouth shut"?
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545. That maybe a friend might value
concern over glibness? That maybe...
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546. Maybe I'm going through
something that I need to have
an actual conversation about?
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547. Does it occur to you that
if you need that kind of a friend,
you may have made some deeper errors.
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548. Her heartbeat's irregular.
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549. Looks like global hypokinesis.
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550. Stop the meds.
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551. You're giving up?
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552. Either we're wrong
and her heart is unusable...
Copy !req
553. or right, but the treatment
we had to give her will
make her heart unusable.
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554. I'm sorry.
You can pull the plug now.
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555. Find me another body.
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556. That fat guy on Ortho service
didn't look so hot.
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557. No!
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558. She's not ready.
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559. You were ready this morning.
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560. She's not done.
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561. She's gotta save that guy.
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562. Alternate theories?
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563. Amebiasis was our best hope.
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564. The fact that her heart rate
went back to normal when
we stopped the meds pretty much—
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565. What's our second best hope?
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566. House, put down the wand.
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567. There's no obstruction.
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568. Maybe we should just biopsy it.
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569. She's a fridge
with the power out.
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570. We start poking around inside,
the vegetable goes bad.
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571. No offense.
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572. I don't see that
we have a lot of choice.
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573. The only way we're
gonna find that infection—
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574. What if it's not an infection?
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575. Toxins can cause similar symptoms.
Especially if whatever it is did liver damage.
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576. Her, uh, toxin screen was clean.
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577. Those things never cover
for any of the really cool toxins.
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578. Run the screen again
for whatever you can think of.
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579. You, keep the other patient alive.
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580. You, check out the school.
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581. And I seem to need
o hire another doctor
to go search her home.
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582. Come on.
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583. If she was taking
any medications,
I'd know about it.
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584. Did your wife dye her hair?
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585. No.
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586. Her mom never went gray.
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587. She didn't either.
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588. Guess this must be yours, then.
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589. Can you think of anything else
she might've lied to you about?
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590. Any drugs she "gave up"
when she married you?
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591. How are you feeling, sir?
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592. Mr. Arrington?
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593. Mr. Arrington?
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594. What's going on?
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595. His heart's not pumping
enough blood to his brain.
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596. We're gonna have to
give it some help.
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597. Get the balloon ready.
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598. You use this drawer?
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599. No, that's for her vitamins.
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600. And sleeping pills.
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601. She never took sleeping pills.
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602. Okay.
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603. You on a diet?
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604. No.
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605. I guess you never really
know someone, do you?
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606. Quite the insight.
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607. She lied to you
about her hair color.
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608. And didn't want you to know
she thought she was fat.
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609. Unless you never lied to her
about anything that huge.
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610. And then you can
probably let those slide.
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611. Diet pills could've
messed her up.
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612. Raised the live enzymes
and caused the bellyache.
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613. But not the fever.
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614. Maybe something else
set off the fever.
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615. Like what?
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616. Before I show you these,
they were in a locked drawer
in her desk.
Copy !req
617. The vice principal said that
Laura must've confiscated them.
They've had some problems with—
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618. Neither interesting nor helpful.
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619. This at least is interesting.
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620. No, it's not.
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621. Sex with teenagers
isn't interesting?
Where did you grow up?
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622. It isn't helpful.
Teenage boys aren't toxins.
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623. What if the cyst isn't a cyst?
Copy !req
624. Then we have nothing to go on.
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625. I said it's not a cyst.
I didn't say it was nothing.
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626. What if it's a scar?
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627. Fitzhugh-Curtis syndrome?
Copy !req
628. You're pushing gonorrhea again?
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629. You got anything better?
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630. Test her.
And start her on ceftriaxone.
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631. What are you testing for now?
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632. Just some more infections.
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633. She's positive for gonorrhea.
Copy !req
634. I think that's the first time
those words have been uttered in joy.
Copy !req
635. Meds are started.
Copy !req
636. Her heart should be clear enough
to use in about four or five hours.
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637. I'll go tell the families.
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638. He's in a coma.
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639. Start him on dobutamine.
Copy !req
640. Already did.
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641. We either do the surgery now
or we find him a new brain too.
Copy !req
642. House, she's still got
a significant amount of
gonorrhea in her system.
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643. Hopefully tomorrow,
it'll be in his system.
Copy !req
644. I need two O.R.s
and the transplant team.
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645. What is it?
Copy !req
646. What's going on?
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647. - Is he getting a heart?
- Yeah. Excuse me.
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648. I assume this means
you, uh, you found out
what was wrong with Laura?
Copy !req
649. She had a amebiasis.
Copy !req
650. We just found a different way
to get rid of it.
Copy !req
651. Thank you.
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652. That was kind of you.
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653. I didn't want him
going postal on us.
Copy !req
654. Soon as his wife's heart's in our hands,
you can tell him about the gonorrhea.
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655. He's gotta be tested.
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656. Preferably before he gets
any sympathy sex.
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657. Paddles.
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658. 50 joules.
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659. Charging.
Copy !req
660. Charging.
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661. Let's take him off bypass.
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662. Mr. Neuberger.
There's something
I need to tell you.
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663. The last, uh...
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664. year or so, uh...
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665. Laura was kind of
distant with me.
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666. I don't know why.
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667. I thought maybe
she was having an affair.
Copy !req
668. But... not Laura.
And I'm not excusing myself,
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669. but when I was traveling
during Christmas, I had a...
Copy !req
670. I had a one-night stand.
Copy !req
671. I got gonorrhea.
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672. - Are you sure—
- Yeah.
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673. I should've said
something to you.
Copy !req
674. But I didn't want to believe
that I gave it to her.
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675. That's what made her sick, and...
Copy !req
676. that was why she got
into the accident.
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677. Cecile?
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678. Am I dead?
Copy !req
679. Hopefully not for a long time.
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680. Why are you here?
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681. Amy called me.
Copy !req
682. If you do Mom again,
you gotta wear a condom.
Copy !req
683. You're gonna have gonorrhea
in your system for a while.
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684. "Honky Tonk Women" by Taj Mahal
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685. Could I stay with you
for a few days?
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686. You idiot.
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687. You told her.
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688. She told me.
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689. Things have been
crappy at home lately.
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690. I figured I wasn't
spending enough time there.
Copy !req
691. I figured...
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692. It turns out, you're right.
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693. It's always about sex.
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694. She's been having an affair.
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695. Want a beer?
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