1. said that
Helium Buffoon
was a bad movie.Copy !req
2. Yeah.Copy !req
3. And Helium Buffoon
was a great movie.Copy !req
4. You love those stupid movies.Copy !req
5. I do, but this one
wasn't stupid.Copy !req
6. Brendon, you don't have
to say www anymore.Copy !req
7. What? Why?
You can just say
the website nameCopy !req
8. without the www.Copy !req
9. No, that's how you type
it in, Melissa, www...Copy !req
10. I know that's how you type it,
but you don't have to say it.Copy !req
11. If you said
moviewienerorwinner.com,Copy !req
12. I would know what you meant
without the www.Copy !req
13. So no "Ws" ever.Copy !req
14. Okay, Brendon, for the sake
of this conversation,Copy !req
15. you don't have to say www
'cause I know what it is, okay?Copy !req
16. And so does
the rest of the world.Copy !req
17. But anyway, like I was saying,Copy !req
18. I'm thinking of
writing my own review
and sending it in.Copy !req
19. Because I was not happy
with what they wrote.Copy !req
20. I think you should.Copy !req
21. Well, I know.
I mean, I'm sayingCopy !req
22. I'm definitely thinking maybe...Copy !req
23. That's a good idea.Copy !req
24. I said that maybe
I might, you know?Copy !req
25. You won't.
Excuse me.Copy !req
26. We doing all right here or what?Copy !req
27. We're fine.
How you doing?Copy !req
28. You guys chatting it up?
Uh-huh.Copy !req
29. Having a nice chit-chat, hmm?Copy !req
30. Fine. Not our best.Copy !req
31. A little back and forth?Copy !req
32. Little tête-à-tête?
What?Copy !req
33. Little dialogue, yeah?Copy !req
34. What are you guys
talking about, soccer?Copy !req
35. No.
No.Copy !req
36. Because there's a game going on.Copy !req
37. I was wondering
whether you'd likeCopy !req
38. to participate in the game.Copy !req
39. Um... Is our soccer gameCopy !req
40. bothering your conversation?Copy !req
41. Oh, no, no.Copy !req
42. Should we stop
the soccer game
and gather around?Copy !req
43. Maybe we should light a campfireCopy !req
44. so you guys can
tell your stories...Copy !req
45. No, this is... spin your tales.Copy !req
46. No.Copy !req
47. Regale us, Brandon and Melissa.Copy !req
48. Coach, have a seat.
Relax. Come hang out with us.Copy !req
49. Why bother getting
stressed out about...Copy !req
50. It's a pretty quiet game.Copy !req
51. Yeah, we kinda forgot
we were playing,
actually.Copy !req
52. Hey, what do you think
this after-school assembly
thing is all about?Copy !req
53. I don't know.
I hate after-school assemblies.Copy !req
54. The rumor I heard is that
Principal Plum was fired,Copy !req
55. and Mr. Lynch is gonna be
the new interim principal.Copy !req
56. Mr. Lynch?
What? Mr. Lynch?Copy !req
57. Yeah.
Lynch?Copy !req
58. Lynch is about
as qualified
to run a schoolCopy !req
59. as this soda can.Copy !req
60. And I can say that
because I'm his
best friend.Copy !req
61. I didn't know you were
best friends, coach.Copy !req
62. We're not.
I'm his best friend,
but he's not mine.Copy !req
63. Who's your best friend?Copy !req
64. Right now, it's a tieCopy !req
65. between this guy
I write to on
the Web.Copy !req
66. He's from Sri Lanka.
He's nice.Copy !req
67. And this guy who
hangs out at
the bar I go toCopy !req
68. who is gonna supposedlyCopy !req
69. get me a free
battery for my car.Copy !req
70. But, man, Lynch?Copy !req
71. I'm sorry. But there
is no way in hell
Lynch is gonna be...Copy !req
72. your new principal.Copy !req
73. Interim principal, yeah.Copy !req
74. Uh, well, yes, um...Copy !req
75. that's what I was going to say.Copy !req
76. You didn't let me finish.Copy !req
77. As interim...Copy !req
78. Interim principal.Copy !req
79. Look, I said interim principal.Copy !req
80. What's your problem?Copy !req
81. I don't know.
Why are you
mad at us?Copy !req
82. Yeah, why don't you
just do your speech?Copy !req
83. Yeah, you're the principal.Copy !req
84. Ahem. As interim
principal,Copy !req
85. I intend to...Copy !req
86. stern...Copy !req
87. isn't soft, even
though my hands are...Copy !req
88. Anyway, I...Copy !req
89. All right, Lynch.
My buddy.Copy !req
90. Interim!
I heard that! Bastards.Copy !req
91. Okay. Let's see what we got.Copy !req
92. Ahem.Copy !req
93. "Dear www. moviewiener
orwinner.com.Copy !req
94. "So, in conclusion,Copy !req
95. "Yes, I know it's a funny way
to start a review,Copy !req
96. "but as far as I'm conseened..."Copy !req
97. Conseened? "Concerned...Copy !req
98. "as far as I'm concerned,
there is no argument.Copy !req
99. "Helium Buffoon is a funny,
smart, clever, hilarious,Copy !req
100. "feel-good, high-energy
tearjerkerCopy !req
101. "that takes us on a crazy,
edge-of-your-seat rideCopy !req
102. "through the world of
balloon delivery guysCopy !req
103. "and turns it into
a crazy world of
"buffoon" delivery guysCopy !req
104. when Jeb suddenly has
to take over the business."Copy !req
105. Yeah.Copy !req
106. Hey, John, you're taking up
two spaces.Copy !req
107. Yeah? So what? I don't want
my car scratched.Copy !req
108. Um, hello?
You can't do that.Copy !req
109. Why don't you tell it
to the principal, four eyes?Copy !req
110. Uh, boy, I didn't
expect to use upCopy !req
111. the first 25 minutes
of class answering
one question,Copy !req
112. but it was a very
good question, Brendon.Copy !req
113. Thanks. I have
another question, too.Copy !req
114. Hey, Fink...Copy !req
115. Hey, class.
What's up?Copy !req
116. What do you teach, Fink?Copy !req
117. I teach... Science, right?Copy !req
118. Yes.Copy !req
119. I gotta borrow your
Bunsen burner.Copy !req
120. I wanna burn some
stuff in my office.Copy !req
121. Hey! Not that one!Copy !req
122. Hey, kids.
No practice today.Copy !req
123. But, coach, we have a game.Copy !req
124. So no game today.Copy !req
125. How come?Copy !req
126. Because I gotta pick upCopy !req
127. a brand-new free battery
from my best friendCopy !req
128. who works at
the automotive shop.Copy !req
129. Oh.Copy !req
130. Whoo!Copy !req
131. Uhh.Copy !req
132. Come on. Come on.Copy !req
133. Ha ha! I told...Copy !req
134. Oh.Copy !req
135. McGuirk, I can't
have you wreaking havoc
in my name like this.Copy !req
136. Lynch, what are
you gonna do, huh?Copy !req
137. Punish me? Make me
stand in the corner?Copy !req
138. You gonna call my daddy?Copy !req
139. You're making me
look bad, McGuirk.Copy !req
140. What else you gonna do,
huh, Lynch?Copy !req
141. You gonna spank me?
You wanna spank me?Copy !req
142. Spank me.
McGuirk.Copy !req
143. Here. Here it is.
Spank it.Copy !req
144. Oh, stop. Stop.
Oh, McGuirk, come on.Copy !req
145. Relax, buddy. I'm just
having a little fun.Copy !req
146. You gotta lighten up, Lynch.Copy !req
147. You're the man now.
This could be fun.Copy !req
148. You just gotta take
advantage of it.Copy !req
149. Please leave. I have
principal things that
I need to do.Copy !req
150. Let's go do something.
Let's rob the safe here.Copy !req
151. Do they have a safe?
McGuirk.Copy !req
152. We'll take the money.
We'll go out.Copy !req
153. We'll have a good time.
What?Copy !req
154. Money equals fun.Copy !req
155. We take the money
and then we go have fun.Copy !req
156. McGuirk, how old are you?Copy !req
157. Oh, I know what we can do.Copy !req
158. We're not gonna do anything.Copy !req
159. We can steal
the fire extinguishers.Copy !req
160. Oh, sure, yeah.Copy !req
161. Take all the fire
extinguishers out.Copy !req
162. And where are you
gonna put them?Copy !req
163. Bring them to my house...Copy !req
164. and spray them at each other.Copy !req
165. That is a prank that could
cause the school to...Copy !req
166. burn down.Copy !req
167. Oh, McGuirk. Please get
out of my office.Copy !req
168. How can you not have
an opinion on anything?Copy !req
169. I don't know.Copy !req
170. What do you think of
my new earring?Copy !req
171. Um... I don't know.Copy !req
172. Well, what do you
think of my new hat?
I don't know.Copy !req
173. What do you mean?
You have to have
an opinion.Copy !req
174. No. No, I can't.Copy !req
175. Nobody cares what I think.Copy !req
176. That may be true,
but you should still
have an opinion.Copy !req
177. You want my opinion?
Yes.Copy !req
178. This sucks.
See?Copy !req
179. Wait. That's not
in the script.Copy !req
180. I'm talking about the script.Copy !req
181. Melissa, it sucks.
You're right. Brendon,
you have to fix this.Copy !req
182. Yeah, it's stupid.Copy !req
183. Hold on.
In a minute, guys.Copy !req
184. What are you doing?
Spell check.Copy !req
185. For the script?
I'm working on
something, guys.Copy !req
186. We kinda wanted
to finish this scene.Copy !req
187. We'd like a little
direction, you know,
from the director.Copy !req
188. Do it faster.
Do it faster.Copy !req
189. I'm sorry. Are we
interrupting youCopy !req
190. by making your little movie?Copy !req
191. What? Okay, what?Copy !req
192. You just totally
broke my concentration.Copy !req
193. What are you working on?Copy !req
194. Nothing. I'm just
writing a review.Copy !req
195. What do you mean, a review?Copy !req
196. likes my stuff a lot,Copy !req
197. so they asked me
to write some stuff.Copy !req
198. You're writing a review
for www. moviewiener...Copy !req
199. You guys, you don't have
to say www.Copy !req
200. I don't want to have
this conversation again.Copy !req
201. What are you talking
about, Melissa?Copy !req
202. You gotta say it.
You don't.Copy !req
203. Because everyone knows
what it means.Copy !req
204. How do you know it's a web site?Copy !req
205. 'Cause you say.com.Copy !req
206. How do you know it's www?Copy !req
207. Yeah, that's a good point.Copy !req
208. Because it's just
one of those thingsCopy !req
209. that when some things are
around for a long enough
time in society,Copy !req
210. you can just abbreviate it.Copy !req
211. Like, what else?
Like what?Copy !req
212. You know what?
Say www. I don't care.Copy !req
213. No. You know
what I'm saying.Copy !req
214. No, forget it.
You're right.Copy !req
215. In fact, don't say www.Copy !req
216. Say World Wide Web
every time you say
a web site.Copy !req
217. That's a total waste.Copy !req
218. That's a waste of time.Copy !req
219. Lynch, who is gonna stop us?Copy !req
220. You run the ship.
You're the captain.Copy !req
221. "Lynch."
Let go of that.Copy !req
222. Do you know how long I've waitedCopy !req
223. to have someone on
the inside at this school?Copy !req
224. Long time.Copy !req
225. McGuirk, this is not a prison.Copy !req
226. You're gonna get us both fired.Copy !req
227. Let me sit in
the chair. Get up.Copy !req
228. What?
Get up.Copy !req
229. I wanna sit in the chair.Copy !req
230. If I let you sit
in the chair,
will you leave?Copy !req
231. Maybe.Copy !req
232. It's a great chair.Copy !req
233. I love this chair.
I have to tell you that.Copy !req
234. I'm gonna pee in your office.Copy !req
235. Wait. Where are
you going?Copy !req
236. Tell me you never
wanted to do this.Copy !req
237. That's not a real...
That's the only plant I have.Copy !req
238. Shh. Shh.Copy !req
239. I've never had a plant
in my office.Copy !req
240. Lynch! Please!
Shut up!Copy !req
241. You're writing for
www. moviewiener
orwinner.com?Copy !req
242. Yeah. They're gonna
pay me $75, guys.Copy !req
243. Are you serious?
Uh-huh.Copy !req
244. Let me see that.Copy !req
245. "So in conclusion..."Copy !req
246. That's how you
start your review?
Yeah.Copy !req
247. Because I have the final say.Copy !req
248. It's catchy, I know.Copy !req
249. It's kind of annoying, Brendon.Copy !req
250. And then I sign it
"Movie Guy."Copy !req
251. That's catchy.
But annoying.Copy !req
252. Is "Movie Guy" your pseudonym?Copy !req
253. No, no, no.Copy !req
254. It's just a name that I'm usingCopy !req
255. instead of my real name.Copy !req
256. I've never met anyone who
didn't have an opinion.Copy !req
257. There's nothing in my
psychology books about it.Copy !req
258. There's nothing I can do.Copy !req
259. Doc, please don't say that.Copy !req
260. Of course I could
call my friend
Dr. Schvitenousser.Copy !req
261. He could help you.Copy !req
262. Oh, call him, Doc.
Please, I'm desperate.Copy !req
263. I wasn't trying
to insult you, Doctor.Copy !req
264. I'm just saying with
a name like Schvitenousser...Copy !req
265. You didn't think I'd
be Irish, did ya?Copy !req
266. No.Copy !req
267. So, would you be having
an opinion about me now?Copy !req
268. Um, no.Copy !req
269. Then you're an idiot, sir.Copy !req
270. Um, are you a leprechaun?Copy !req
271. Let me tell you, laddy.Copy !req
272. An opinion is a thing
to be treasured.Copy !req
273. But it's gotta come
outta here to mean
anything at all.Copy !req
274. Was he pointing
to his butt?
Shh.Copy !req
275. And cut. Big cut.Copy !req
276. Oh, jeez.
Guys, guys.Copy !req
277. Hey, that scene...Copy !req
278. That was uninspired.Copy !req
279. And though the story
held together...Copy !req
280. I've seen better acting
on a postage stamp.Copy !req
281. Brendon.
Yeah?Copy !req
282. You're being
a jerk.
Yeah.Copy !req
283. I'm just offering
my opinion, that's all.Copy !req
284. You sound like one of
your stupid reviews.Copy !req
285. Okay, okay...Copy !req
286. I also don't get the analogy.Copy !req
287. Do you want an opinion
on the script?Copy !req
288. Because that is uninspired.Copy !req
289. Yeah.
Yeah.Copy !req
290. I've seen better scripts
on a postage stamp.Copy !req
291. That makes more sense.Copy !req
292. Maybe if you spent
a little more time
on your scriptsCopy !req
293. and a little less
time on your
reviews.Copy !req
294. Okay. You know,
whoa. Come on.Copy !req
295. Just take it
from Jason's line again.Copy !req
296. And... action.Copy !req
297. Brendon, can you
come here, please?Copy !req
298. What do you want?Copy !req
299. Right now.Copy !req
300. Did you find my checks?Copy !req
301. What?
What?Copy !req
302. What did you just say?
What? What?Copy !req
303. Aahhh!
What?Copy !req
304. Nothing.Copy !req
305. Brendon, get up here
and explain yourself.Copy !req
306. All right!Copy !req
307. So I thought
you'd be mad because
I'm just a kid.Copy !req
308. Well, I wish you'd told me.Copy !req
309. But no, Brendon,
I think it's greatCopy !req
310. that you're getting paid
for writing reviews.Copy !req
311. I'm very proud of you.Copy !req
312. Well, then you're
gonna love this.Copy !req
313. They sent me press passesCopy !req
314. to see the premiere of
All That ViolenceCopy !req
315. this Friday night downtown.Copy !req
316. Brendon, that's
an "R" -rated movie.Copy !req
317. You better believe it.Copy !req
318. Called All That Violence?Copy !req
319. That could be violent.Copy !req
320. See, that's
the ironic thing.
It's not that violent.Copy !req
321. Well, I don't want you
knowing about irony.Copy !req
322. How about nudity?Copy !req
323. I read about that movie.Copy !req
324. It sounds absolutely
inappropriate for children.Copy !req
325. Yeah, but, Mom...
You're not going, Brendon.Copy !req
326. I don't wanna go,
trust me, but...Copy !req
327. That's perfect...
I've got a job...Copy !req
328. Brendon, you're not going.Copy !req
329. You're not going to a move
named All That Violence.Copy !req
330. But Jason and Melissa can go.Copy !req
331. I don't care what Jason
and Melissa can do.Copy !req
332. Their parents probably
don't know it's called
All That Violence...Copy !req
333. until I call and tell them.Copy !req
334. Don't, Mom.Copy !req
335. Brendon, ever since
you've started writing reviews,Copy !req
336. you've been ignoring your work.Copy !req
337. Yeah, Brendon,
and your friends: us.Copy !req
338. We're pretty much your
only two friends.
Guys...Copy !req
339. Let me say it in a way that
you can understand, Brendon.Copy !req
340. Yes.Copy !req
341. Www "you've been
ignoring us" .com.
Nice.Copy !req
342. Okay.
www "I'm sorry"
.com.Copy !req
343. But, guys,
I'm still taking you
to the premiere.Copy !req
344. I thought you couldn't go.Copy !req
345. Yeah, and how are you
gonna get there?Copy !req
346. Your mom was supposed
to drive us.Copy !req
347. No, no, no.
I have an idea.Copy !req
348. Brendon, you gonna
disobey your mother?Copy !req
349. Are we gonna steal a car?Copy !req
350. Coach?Copy !req
351. Coach, I have a proposition
to offer you.Copy !req
352. Ahem. Coach?Copy !req
353. Brendon, get out of my light.Copy !req
354. Listen...Copy !req
355. Did you say proposition?
Yeah.Copy !req
356. All right, I'm all ears.Copy !req
357. Can you pick me and Melissa
and Jason up on Friday...Copy !req
358. That's actually kinda
gross, huh? I'm all ears.Copy !req
359. What if I were
all ears, you know?Copy !req
360. Can you drive us
to the movie premiere?Copy !req
361. Ears instead of arms.
Ears instead of legs.Copy !req
362. Just like a lump
of ears.
Coach...Copy !req
363. Of course I'm drunk right now,Copy !req
364. so that kinda stuff amuses me.Copy !req
365. Coach, will you listen
to me, please?Copy !req
366. Of course I'm listening,
Brendon.Copy !req
367. I said I was all ears.Copy !req
368. So you want a ride somewhere?Copy !req
369. Yeah.
Where?Copy !req
370. The movie premiere.Copy !req
371. All right.
What's in it for me?Copy !req
372. Huh. It's tempting.Copy !req
373. All right. I'll do it.
What the hell.
Okay.Copy !req
374. Now get back in my light.
I'm burning up.Copy !req
375. Hey, interim,
Fink's here... again.Copy !req
376. What is it, Fink?
Lynch!Copy !req
377. What?Copy !req
378. You gotta do something
about McGuirk.
Oh.Copy !req
379. He burst into my science class
and started teaching again.Copy !req
380. Okay, a quick science
lesson, all right?Copy !req
381. Don't mix beer with scotch.Copy !req
382. Why did that get no reaction?Copy !req
383. - Everybody knows what beer is, right?
- Yeah.Copy !req
384. - Everybody knows what scotch is.
- Yeah.Copy !req
385. Don't mix 'em.Copy !req
386. "Liquor before beer, never fear.Copy !req
387. Beer before liquor,
throw up quicker."Copy !req
388. Fink, everything will be fine.Copy !req
389. I'll take care of McGuirk.Copy !req
390. Lynch! Come on! Help.Copy !req
391. Wait. I want you
to hear something first.Copy !req
392. What about a boilermaker?Copy !req
393. Those are good.Copy !req
394. Isn't that beer and scotch?Copy !req
395. Yeah, but it's not
one before the other.Copy !req
396. It's together in one.
That's okay.Copy !req
397. Is there a rhyme for that?Copy !req
398. Yes.Copy !req
399. Attention.
Attention, please.Copy !req
400. Will Mr. McGuirk please
come to the principal's
office immediately.Copy !req
401. Thank you.Copy !req
402. Ha ha.
So what do you think?Copy !req
403. Do I sound like a principal?Copy !req
404. Yeah, I don't think
you have to put your handCopy !req
405. over your mouth like that.Copy !req
406. Really? I think this
is the way it's
supposed to sound.Copy !req
407. I think it sounds that way
because of the intercom speaker.Copy !req
408. Oh.
Is that still on?Copy !req
409. Oh, crap!Copy !req
410. Okay, so we meet
at the soccer field tonight.Copy !req
411. Right, and I'm gonna say
I'm staying at your house.Copy !req
412. And what are you
telling your mom?Copy !req
413. I'm saying that
I'm gonna stay
at Jason's house.Copy !req
414. You can't stay at
my house, Brendon,Copy !req
415. 'cause my aunt
and uncle are there.Copy !req
416. Right, but I'm not
really staying, though.Copy !req
417. You can pretend to stay
at my house, Brendon.Copy !req
418. Thank you.
Where are you staying?Copy !req
419. I'm staying at my houseCopy !req
420. with my aunt and uncle
and my parents.Copy !req
421. But where are you gonna
say you are when we're
at the movie?Copy !req
422. When we're at the movie?Copy !req
423. Then I'll be at the movies.Copy !req
424. - Jason...
- What?Copy !req
425. Nothing.Copy !req
426. McGuirk, why are you doing this?Copy !req
427. Look what I got you.
McGuirk...Copy !req
428. This way, you don't
have to walk...Copy !req
429. We don't have to walk
all the way to the lunch room
to get a soda.Copy !req
430. You get one right here
in your office.Copy !req
431. McGuirk, that is for
the kids to use.Copy !req
432. I also made it so they're free.Copy !req
433. They just come out.
Press.Copy !req
434. Wow.
Soda.Copy !req
435. That is pretty good.
Free soda.Copy !req
436. That's pretty amazing.Copy !req
437. But you know who loses in this?Copy !req
438. I don't know. Who?
The kids. So what?Copy !req
439. They have soda at home.Copy !req
440. This belongs in their lunchroom.Copy !req
441. Well, I'm not bringing it back.
It's too heavy.Copy !req
442. McGuirk, I don't need
a soda machine in
my office.Copy !req
443. I don't drink soda.Copy !req
444. Lynch... Lynch, this is
like a clubhouse.Copy !req
445. Just you and me.Copy !req
446. Our own private club.Copy !req
447. No girls allowed.Copy !req
448. A soda machine.
It's great!Copy !req
449. McGuirk, if you don't
stop this childish
behavior,Copy !req
450. I'm gonna have to do
something drastic.Copy !req
451. Oh, so this is the thanks I get?Copy !req
452. Why would I be thanking you?Copy !req
453. For being your friend, Lynch.Copy !req
454. Oh, well, then, yes,
this is the thanks
you get.Copy !req
455. What are you talking about?Copy !req
456. We're friends, right?
Uh...Copy !req
457. And friends steal things
for their friends.Copy !req
458. McGuirk, you can't keep
doing things like this.Copy !req
459. Why?
You think
it's for friendship?Copy !req
460. Why, Lynch?
Tell me why.Copy !req
461. It's bad.
It's a bad thing.Copy !req
462. Who says?
Me.Copy !req
463. I'm the principal.Copy !req
464. I'm the principal.Copy !req
465. People... You have to stop.Copy !req
466. Turn around.
What?Copy !req
467. Turn around.
You're being
very childish.Copy !req
468. Turn around.
For what?Copy !req
469. 'Cause I wanna
show you something.Copy !req
470. All right.
Now what?Copy !req
471. Lynch! What are you wearing
under there?Copy !req
472. What?Copy !req
473. What are you wearing
under there, Lynch?Copy !req
474. You do not need...Copy !req
475. What are you wearing
under there?Copy !req
476. Under where?Copy !req
477. Underwear!
Oh! Ow!Copy !req
478. The story was just
too hard to follow.Copy !req
479. I've said this about
foreign films before.Copy !req
480. If you're gonna go
through all the trouble
to make a movie,Copy !req
481. you may as well
make it in English.Copy !req
482. Hello, Brendon.Copy !req
483. Oh, Mr. Lynch...
I mean, Mr. Principal.Copy !req
484. I mean, Mr. interim...Copy !req
485. Enough, Brendon.
I mean...Copy !req
486. Thank you, Brendon.
Enough.Copy !req
487. How come you're not
hanging out with your friends?Copy !req
488. Uh, well, I've got some
work to do.Copy !req
489. I'm writing reviews
for an on-line
movie web site,Copy !req
490. www. moviewiener
orwinner.com.Copy !req
491. You know, you don't
have to say www...Copy !req
492. I like saying it.Copy !req
493. Whoa!
Be careful.Copy !req
494. Is there...Copy !req
495. Is there something
you, you know...Copy !req
496. you want?Copy !req
497. No. I just needed to think.Copy !req
498. You know, I used
to do my best thinkingCopy !req
499. on the monkey bars,
as I remember.Copy !req
500. Suspending yourself
from these bars isn't
that hard, you know?Copy !req
501. Hey. Hey...Copy !req
502. Suspending someone else,
especially a friend,
that's tough.Copy !req
503. Am I being suspended?Copy !req
504. No, no, no.
Not you, Brendon.Copy !req
505. No, it's a...
it's a faculty member.Copy !req
506. All right.
Well, uh, I'll see ya.Copy !req
507. See ya.
Nice talking to ya.Copy !req
508. Uh-huh.Copy !req
509. Oh!Copy !req
510. Oh, crap!Copy !req
511. I don't like this, Brendon.Copy !req
512. Me neither, Brendon.Copy !req
513. It's fine, guys.
Don't worry about it.Copy !req
514. Coach McGuirk is late.
He'll be here!Copy !req
515. I heard a long time ago
they found a head...Copy !req
516. Jason, I don't want to hear
that kind of stuff, okay?Copy !req
517. Melissa, I was just
going to say that they
found a headlight...Copy !req
518. Oh.
Next to a body!Copy !req
519. Jason!
A dead body!Copy !req
520. Stop it.Copy !req
521. Go ahead then.
Make jokes.Copy !req
522. But did you know that teenagersCopy !req
523. come here to get drunk
on Friday nights?Copy !req
524. How do you know, Melissa?Copy !req
525. My father buys for them.Copy !req
526. That's illegal.Copy !req
527. He's says they're just gonna
buy it in a couple years anyway.Copy !req
528. It makes sense when he says it.Copy !req
529. Now I know where to go.Copy !req
530. Brendon, there's nothing worse
than drunken teenagers.Copy !req
531. Thanks to your dad.
Yeah.Copy !req
532. We can't stay out here.Copy !req
533. We're gonna be eaten by
coyotes... and elk!
Elk?Copy !req
534. It's rutting season.Copy !req
535. They're extra dangerous
during the rutting season.Copy !req
536. Your father probably
gives them alcohol.Copy !req
537. Guys, quiet. Shh.Copy !req
538. Oh, my God! Somebody's
coming to kill us!Copy !req
539. Melissa, it's a car
full of elk!
Jason!Copy !req
540. Who's there?
Drunken teenagers?Copy !req
541. I wish. Who doesn't
love them?Copy !req
542. Come on. Don't just
stand there. Get in.Copy !req
543. It's rutting season.Copy !req
544. This is exciting.
We're going
to a premiere.Copy !req
545. A world premiere.Copy !req
546. Coach, is something wrong?Copy !req
547. Coach, talk to me.Copy !req
548. The battery's dead.Copy !req
549. I thought your friend was
getting you a new one.Copy !req
550. Kevin? Some friend.
He wanted me
to pay for it.Copy !req
551. - I want to go home.
- I don't.Copy !req
552. Coach, coach. You're missing
the big picture here.Copy !req
553. I have to get to that movie.Copy !req
554. There's a convenience
store about ten minutes
down the road.Copy !req
555. I'll go call for a tow truck.Copy !req
556. Be here in 15 minutes.Copy !req
557. 15 minutes?Copy !req
558. You guys wait here.Copy !req
559. You're gonna leave
a bunch of kids alone...
in the car?Copy !req
560. Yeah.
Not the first time.Copy !req
561. Movie's starting.Copy !req
562. I'll be fired from
writing reviews.Copy !req
563. Brendon, there's
a midnight showing.Copy !req
564. Jason, I wouldn't be able
to stay awake.Copy !req
565. Brendon, what if I tickled you.Copy !req
566. Elk!Copy !req
567. It's just me.
Open up.Copy !req
568. Jump is 50 bucks.Copy !req
569. Uh... Buddy!Copy !req
570. Right, right.
I got it. I got it.Copy !req
571. So what's your name?
Tina.Copy !req
572. Tina? Nice.Copy !req
573. Wait. You're not
Tow Truck Tina, are you?Copy !req
574. That's what it says
on my uniform.Copy !req
575. I read about you.
I have your calendar.Copy !req
576. You're amazing.Copy !req
577. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
50 bucks.Copy !req
578. Here's a hundred.
Wow. Tow Truck Tina.Copy !req
579. I can't even believe it.Copy !req
580. Will you sign this for me?Copy !req
581. Sure. You got a pen?Copy !req
582. Brendon.
In the glove.Copy !req
583. Get me a pen right away.Copy !req
584. You're all set.Copy !req
585. Wow. I cannot
believe it.Copy !req
586. You can't imagine
how many times I've...Copy !req
587. you know.Copy !req
588. I mean, you know, right?Copy !req
589. Yeah, yeah.
People do that.Copy !req
590. Crank it.Copy !req
591. Yay!Copy !req
592. Did it start?Copy !req
593. Yeah.Copy !req
594. Yay.Copy !req
595. Thanks, Tina.
You were great...
and expensive.Copy !req
596. Can we just go home now?Copy !req
597. Hey, look, I'm sorry
you missed your movie.Copy !req
598. If it'll make you
feel better,
you can blame me.Copy !req
599. I'm doing it right now.
It's not working.Copy !req
600. Hmm. That's too bad.Copy !req
601. Listen, I think we just
all want to go home.Copy !req
602. Can't we just
drive around
a little more?Copy !req
603. I'm kinda up.Copy !req
604. No!Copy !req
605. Well, I hope you learned
your lesson tonight,
young man.Copy !req
606. I, uh, sure did learn
my lesson, Mom.Copy !req
607. If I do anything wrong,
you will rub my head.Copy !req
608. Yes, I understand.
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!Copy !req
609. What other lesson
did you learn, Brendon?Copy !req
610. Don't, uh... Don't do things...Copy !req
611. It'll come to me.Copy !req
612. Aw.Copy !req
613. That movie sucked.Copy !req
614. I liked it.
You liked it?Copy !req
615. I liked all
the violence.
It surprised me.Copy !req
616. All right.Copy !req
617. Hey, McGuirk, I was thinking.Copy !req
618. Maybe there is something
I can do for you.Copy !req
619. Oh, yeah?Copy !req
620. How about I suspend you
for a week... with pay?Copy !req
621. Ha ha!
Now you're talking.Copy !req
622. Welcome to the dark side, Lynch.Copy !req
623. And in my opinion,Copy !req
624. Picasso was the worst
painter I ever saw
in my life.Copy !req
625. And in my opinion,
Tango and CashCopy !req
626. was the best buddy-cop
picture ever.Copy !req
627. This is fantastic,
Dr. Schvitenousser.Copy !req
628. But how did you cure him?Copy !req
629. 'Twas easy.Copy !req
630. I told him that everybody's
opinion matters.Copy !req
631. I told him that, too,
but it didn't work.Copy !req
632. Yes, but then I told it
to him a couple more times.Copy !req
633. That's why you make
the big bucks.Copy !req
634. Speaking of bucks,
do you like elk?Copy !req
635. This is the worst ending ever.Copy !req
636. In my opinion,
this is the worst
movie ever, Brendon.Copy !req
637. Well, how do we end it?Copy !req
638. Just shut off the camera.Copy !req
639. That works.Copy !req
640. Uh, no, it didn't.
Still on.Copy !req
641. Hey, who wants a wine cooler?Copy !req
642. Jason, where did you get
wine coolers?Copy !req
643. Your dad.Copy !req
644. Closed-captioned By
J.R. Media Group, Inc.
Burbank, CACopy !req
645. Please be in here.
Please be in here.Copy !req
646. Yes! Yes! Yes!Copy !req
647. "Until a qualified
principal can be found,Copy !req
648. Mr. Lunch will take over
as interim principal."Copy !req
649. "Mr. Lunch?"Copy !req
650. I'm in Principal Monthly!Copy !req
651. Yes!Copy !req