1. COME ON, LET'S GET IT TOGETHER!Copy !req
2. COME ON!Copy !req
3. DIANE, LET'S GO!Copy !req
4. HERE YOU GO!Copy !req
5. DIANE, DON'T FALL, GET UP!Copy !req
6. THAT'S NOT DIANE.Copy !req
7. GET UP, DIANE!Copy !req
8. THAT'S NOT DIANE.Copy !req
9. WHAT'S HER NAME?Copy !req
10. THAT'S CINDY.Copy !req
11. SORRY.Copy !req
12. CINDY, GET UP!Copy !req
13. WE HAVE A DIANE ON OUR TEAM,
RIGHT, BRENDON?Copy !req
14. UH... I DON'T KNOW, I THINK SO.Copy !req
15. WELL, DIANE AND CINDY,
COME ON IN!Copy !req
16. THAT'S THE ONLY WAY TO FIND OUT.Copy !req
17. I KNOW.Copy !req
18. I SEE CINDY COMING—...Copy !req
19. I GUESS WE DON'T HAVE A DIANE.Copy !req
20. AND TO SUM UP, IN CONCLUSION,
UM, SOME INSECTS OR BUGSCopy !req
21. ARE VERY HELPFUL TO MANKIND
AND OTHERS ARE NOT.Copy !req
22. THANK YOU.Copy !req
23. OH, VERY NICE, MELISSA.Copy !req
24. THANK YOU.Copy !req
25. VERY NICE.Copy !req
26. AS USUAL, VERY GOOD JOB.Copy !req
27. OKAY, LET'S SEE WHO'S NEXT HERE.Copy !req
28. UH... BRENDON.Copy !req
29. UM, UH... I WAS UH... I WAS
GOING TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THIS.Copy !req
30. WHY DON'T YOU
COME RIGHT UP HERE?Copy !req
31. WE'RE ALL FRIENDS HERE.Copy !req
32. NOW, WHAT'S YOUR TOPIC OF YOUR
PRESENTATION?Copy !req
33. I'M GONNA, UH...Copy !req
34. OKAY, WELL, COME ON UP, BRENDON.Copy !req
35. HERE'S BRENDON.Copy !req
36. THANK YOU, UM... FIRST OF ALL,
HOW ARE YOU?Copy !req
37. GOOD.Copy !req
38. THANK... THANK YOU.Copy !req
39. I, UH...Copy !req
40. I WANTED TO TALK A LITTLE BIT
ABOUT, UH... MY SHOES.Copy !req
41. I COULD USE SOME NEW SHOES.Copy !req
42. HMM.Copy !req
43. I DON'T KNOW... MY BIRTHDAY'S
COMING UP, AND, UH...Copy !req
44. HMM.Copy !req
45. YEAH, UH...Copy !req
46. I, UH... HI.Copy !req
47. AND, UM...Copy !req
48. UH...Copy !req
49. OKAY, IS THAT...
THAT'S IT?Copy !req
50. I... I'VE GOT MORE
IF YOU WANT, ABOUT...Copy !req
51. OH, UM... I HAVE A FEELING
IT'S MORE OF THAT.Copy !req
52. IT PRETTY MUCH, UH...Copy !req
53. OH, BRENDON.Copy !req
54. UH... I KNOW.Copy !req
55. BRENDON...Copy !req
56. I KNOW, I WAS TRYING
TO TELL YOU.Copy !req
57. I DIDN'T HAVE...Copy !req
58. YOU KNOW...Copy !req
59. I WANT TO SEE YOU
AFTER SCHOOL TODAY.Copy !req
60. OOH!
WE'LL BE TALKING ABOUT THIS.Copy !req
61. I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD RUSH
INTO ANYTHING.Copy !req
62. WE'RE GOING TO HAVECopy !req
63. TO BRING YOUR MOTHER IN
ON THIS, I'M SORRY.Copy !req
64. NO, I...
I CAN TALK TO HER MYSELF.Copy !req
65. I... YOU DON'T...
YOU DON'T...Copy !req
66. I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL TALK TO HER.Copy !req
67. YOU DON'T HAVE TO CALL HER
OR ANYTHING.Copy !req
68. BRENDON?Copy !req
69. YES.Copy !req
70. YOU'RE A SMART KID
AND YOU KNOW HOW TO...Copy !req
71. YOUR MOVIES——YOU MAKE YOUR
LITTLE MOVIES, RIGHT?Copy !req
72. YES.Copy !req
73. THAT TAKES A LITTLE BIT
OF THOUGHT, RIGHT?Copy !req
74. YES!Copy !req
75. TAKE THAT ENERGY AND PUT IT INTO
A PROJECT THAT'S IMPORTANT...Copy !req
76. OH... OH...Copy !req
77. TO SCHOOL.Copy !req
78. ALRIGHT.Copy !req
79. DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT IS GOING
ON HERE?Copy !req
80. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE
NOT DOING WELL IN ANY SUBJECT?Copy !req
81. AND, UH... IF YOU CONTINUE ON
THIS PATHCopy !req
82. YOU WILL BE IN FOURTH GRADE
FOR THE NEXT FOUR YEARS.Copy !req
83. WHAT, YOU MEAN I'M GOING...
UH... YOU'RE GONNA HOLD ME BACK?Copy !req
84. YES.Copy !req
85. THAT'S... UH...Copy !req
86. YOU HAVE TO DO BETTER.Copy !req
87. WHAT IF, WHAT IF I GOT A SECOND
CHANCE TO DO THE REPORT?Copy !req
88. I DON'T KNOW.Copy !req
89. WHAT WOULD HAPPEN
IF YOU HAD A SECOND CHANCE...Copy !req
90. AND MY MOM'S GOT TO DO THIS
CONFERENCE THING, AND...Copy !req
91. HE'S GOING TO
TELL YOUR MOM?Copy !req
92. WELL, I TOLD HIM
NOT TO MENTION IT.Copy !req
93. BRENDON, THIS IS SERIOUS.Copy !req
94. I KNOW!Copy !req
95. I DON'T THINK YOU'RE
TAKING IT SERIOUSLY.Copy !req
96. I DON'T NEED THIS.Copy !req
97. I JUST HAD LYNCH SCREAMING AT ME
FOR THE LAST HOUR.Copy !req
98. WELL, MAYBE STOP THINKING ABOUT
YOURSELF FOR A MINUTE.Copy !req
99. HOW DO YOU THINK IT'S GOING
TO BE FOR ME IF YOU HAVECopy !req
100. TO STAY IN FOURTH GRADE?Copy !req
101. AND YOU'RE IN FIFTH?Copy !req
102. WELL, YEAH,
I'M GOING TO BE IN FIFTH;Copy !req
103. I'M NOT GETTING LEFT BACK.Copy !req
104. YOU COULD GET HELDED
BACK WITH ME.Copy !req
105. WELL, I'M NOT THAT GOOD
AT NOT DOING MY WORKCopy !req
106. THE WAY THAT YOU ARE.Copy !req
107. I DIDN'T THINK ABOUT THAT.Copy !req
108. WELL, WHAT DO YOU
HAVE TO DO?Copy !req
109. THERE HAS TO BE
SOMETHING YOU CAN DO.Copy !req
110. UH... I ASKED HIM.Copy !req
111. HE SAID I COULD
DO THE REPORT AGAIN.Copy !req
112. THEN THAT'S IT.Copy !req
113. YOU JUST HAVE TO DO THE
SPEECH OVER AND YOU THENCopy !req
114. YOU WON'T BE HELD BACK.Copy !req
115. YOU KNOW, YOU'RE REALLY
HELPING... A LOT.Copy !req
116. I JUST TOLD YOU THAT.Copy !req
117. NICE ATTITUDE!Copy !req
118. HEY, I'M A LITTLE...Copy !req
119. HEY, I'M... I'M...Copy !req
120. BRENDON, YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT I
DID TO GET READY FOR MY SPEECH?Copy !req
121. WHAT?Copy !req
122. I WENT TO THE LIBRARY.Copy !req
123. OH, I'M NOT GOING
TO THE LIBRARY.Copy !req
124. I USED ENCYCLOPEDIAS.Copy !req
125. I'M NOT GOING TO THE LIBRARY.Copy !req
126. I XEROXED PICTURES
IN THE BOOKS.Copy !req
127. RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT—...Copy !req
128. WHAT'S YOUR POINT?Copy !req
129. MY POINT IS,
TAKE MY SPEECH.Copy !req
130. HE'S ALREADY HEARD IT.Copy !req
131. YOU JUST CHANGE SOME STUFF
AROUND A LITTLE BIT.Copy !req
132. HE'S ALREADY HEARD IT!Copy !req
133. I'LL TRY IT,
JUST GIVE IT TO ME.Copy !req
134. OKAY.Copy !req
135. I'LL FIX SOMETHING,
I DUNNO.Copy !req
136. HELLO, IS ANYBODY...
ARE YOU HOME?Copy !req
137. YEAH, I'M HOME.Copy !req
138. OKAY, I JUST DECIDED TO COME
HOME AND, UH... HANG OUT,Copy !req
139. YOU KNOW AND SEE
IF THERE'S ANY...Copy !req
140. BRENDON, MR. LYNCH CALLED.Copy !req
141. OH, JESUS!Copy !req
142. YEAH, WELL,
HE DID CALL, AND...Copy !req
143. I FOUND OUT
THAT YOU WERE SUPPOSEDCopy !req
144. TO HAVE DONE A PRESENTATION FOR
CLASS THAT APPARENTLY TURNED OUTCopy !req
145. TO BE ABOUT YOUR SHOES.Copy !req
146. MOM, I WAS LOOKING DOWN
THAT'S ALL THAT I SAW.Copy !req
147. IT WAS LIKE AN IMPROMPTU...Copy !req
148. BRENDON, YOU'RE GONNA GET HELD
BACK IF YOU'RE NOT ABLECopy !req
149. TO COMPLETE THIS ASSIGNMENT.Copy !req
150. MOM...
YEAH..Copy !req
151. WHAT I HAVEN'T EXPLAINED TO YOU
IS THAT I AM SO FAR BEHIND.Copy !req
152. I HAVE NOT DONE HOMEWORK
FOR THE LAST YEAR.Copy !req
153. BRENDON, THAT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE.Copy !req
154. I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU THINK YOU
CAN JUST TELL ME THATCopy !req
155. AND I'M SUPPOSED TO BE
ALL JOLLY ABOUT IT?Copy !req
156. THAT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE.Copy !req
157. MOM, YOU THINK I DON'T FEEL BAD
ABOUT THIS?Copy !req
158. I'M ON YOUR SIDE.Copy !req
159. SWEETIE, I WANT YOU TO WORK UP
TO YOUR POTENTIAL.Copy !req
160. AND YOUR POTENTIAL IS VERY,
VERY, VERY HIGH.Copy !req
161. OH, DON'T DO THAT, MOM.Copy !req
162. HONEY?Copy !req
163. YEAH?Copy !req
164. YOU'RE A LUCKY BOY
YOU HAVE MY GENES.Copy !req
165. I KNOW.Copy !req
166. ALL RIGHT.Copy !req
167. YOU KNOW, THEY'RE MAKING YOU
COME IN FOR A MEETING.Copy !req
168. I CAN'T GO IN
FOR A MEETING—-Copy !req
169. YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS.Copy !req
170. MOM, I KNOW THIS IS A LOT
OF PRESSURE FOR YOUCopy !req
171. AND I KNOW YOU DON'T DO WELL
IN MEETINGS.Copy !req
172. I DON'T DO WELL
IN MEETINGS.Copy !req
173. YOU'RE THE ONLY CHANCE I'VE GOT.Copy !req
174. BRENDON...Copy !req
175. MOM, NO...Copy !req
176. THE CHANCE YOU'VE GOT...Copy !req
177. MOM, JUST LISTEN.
JUST DON'T ANSWER FOR A SECOND.Copy !req
178. YOU GO TO THE THING.Copy !req
179. YOU SCHMOOZE THEM,
YOU DO WHATEVER—...Copy !req
180. TURN ON THE CHARM,
I DON'T KNOW WHAT.Copy !req
181. BRENDON!
YES?Copy !req
182. I CANNOT GO TO
A PARENT—TEACHER CONFERENCE.Copy !req
183. NO, NO, NO,
YES, YOU CAN!Copy !req
184. BRENDON, I CAN'T DO THIS.Copy !req
185. WHAT A MINUTE,
THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT ATTITUDE.Copy !req
186. MOM, YOU CAN, YOU CAN...
YOU ARE SO...Copy !req
187. YOU ARE SO SMART AND YOU DON'T
EVEN KNOW IT!Copy !req
188. HONEY...
NO, NO!Copy !req
189. YOU ARE SO GOOD
AT WHAT YOU DO, AND...Copy !req
190. WE'LL LAY OUT YOUR CLOTHES
TOMORROW...Copy !req
191. I'LL MAKE YOU SOME BREAKFAST.Copy !req
192. BRENDON, I CAN'T GO TO A PAREN—-
TEACHER CONFERENCE.Copy !req
193. THEY... THEY STARE AT ME FUNNY
THE WHOLE TIME.Copy !req
194. YOU'RE GOING TO END UP
IN THE FIRST GRADECopy !req
195. BY THE TIME I'M FINISHED
TALKING TO THEM.Copy !req
196. I'M NOT LISTENING!Copy !req
197. ALL RIGHT, I GOT IT.Copy !req
198. OKAY, HERE'S WHAT'S
GOING TO HAPPEN.Copy !req
199. I'M GONNA...Copy !req
200. I'M PLAYING A CHARACTER THAT
DOES NOT DO WELL WITH WORKCopy !req
201. AND I HAVE TO DO THESE
ANNUAL REPORTSCopy !req
202. BUT I HAVEN'T DONE
ANYTHING, OKAY?Copy !req
203. AND, UH...Copy !req
204. AND I HATE GIVING SPEECHES.Copy !req
205. AND JASON, THIS IS WHERE
YOU COME IN, OKAY?Copy !req
206. I PLAY A MONSTER.Copy !req
207. YEAH, YOU COME IN AND WE KIND OF
SWITCH PLACES 'CAUSECopy !req
208. I TURN INTO YOU AND THEN YOU GO,
"I, UH... IT'S NOT MY FAULT."Copy !req
209. LET'S DO...Copy !req
210. LET'S DO THE MONSTER FIRST, AND
THEN ALL THE OTHER PARTS AFTER.Copy !req
211. YEAH, WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO SHOOT
IN SEQUENCECopy !req
212. 'CAUSE I DON'T HAVE
ANY EDITING—...Copy !req
213. NO, 'CAUSE PEOPLE SHOOT OUT OF
SEQUENCE SOMETIMES.Copy !req
214. JASON, HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?Copy !req
215. BECAUSE I READ
"SCORSESE ON FILM."Copy !req
216. OH! OH.Copy !req
217. WE SHOULD SHOOT DAY—FOR—NIGHT,Copy !req
218. LIKE TRUFFAUT.Copy !req
219. YES, GOOD,
I'M GONNA THINK ABOUT THAT.Copy !req
220. AND... ACTION!Copy !req
221. LADIES AND GENTLEMAN,Copy !req
222. GOOD PEOPLE OF THE COMPANY WE
BROUGHT YOU HERE TODAYCopy !req
223. SO THAT BRENDON SMALL CAN GIVE
THE ANNUAL REPORT.Copy !req
224. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
BRENDON SMALL.Copy !req
225. PLEASE GIVE HIM YOUR ATTENTION.Copy !req
226. UH... AS FAR AS THE ANNUAL
REPORT GOESCopy !req
227. I DON'T HAVE IT ON ME, AND,
UH... OH...Copy !req
228. IN THE MEANTIME, I WOULD...
OH... BOY!Copy !req
229. I THINK I MIGHT BE TURNING
INTO A MONSTER!Copy !req
230. OH, MY... AAAAAAH!Copy !req
231. I'M A MONSTER.Copy !req
232. HELP!Copy !req
233. HEY, HE'S USING TELEKINESIS!Copy !req
234. THAT'S RIGHT, I'M USING
TELEKINESIS!Copy !req
235. I'LL BURN YOU ALL UP
AND MAKE YOU CRISPY!Copy !req
236. MY FLESH IS GETTING HOT!Copy !req
237. WELL, HE WAS BETTER LAST YEAR,
YEAH.Copy !req
238. Uh—huh.Copy !req
239. PEOPLE AT THE SCHOOL DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO MAKE OF ME.Copy !req
240. THEY JUST SORT OF STARE AT ME
WITH THEIR MOUTHS HANGING OPEN.Copy !req
241. WELL, ONE OF THE THINGS THAT
HAPPENS IS THATCopy !req
242. WHEN I'M IN A SITUATION WHERE
IT'S INAPPROPRIATECopy !req
243. FOR ME TO CURSE—...Copy !req
244. I CAN'T HELP IT, AND THEREFORE
THESE PARENT TEACHER CONFERENCESCopy !req
245. GO REALLY, REALLY BAD.Copy !req
246. YOU KNOW, I SAY EVERYTHING I
THINK.Copy !req
247. THAT'S OBSESSIVE—COMPULSIVE
DISORDER ISCopy !req
248. YOU SAY EVERYTHING YOU THINK.Copy !req
249. IN FACT I EVEN SAY SOME THINGS
THAT YOU THINKCopy !req
250. THAT I HADN'T THOUGHT OF.Copy !req
251. OF COURSE AT THE LAST ONE,
I BROUGHT DRINKSCopy !req
252. AND MAYBE THAT WAS A MISTAKE,
AND I KNOW THAT NOW.Copy !req
253. I HAD THAT LITTLE TO—GO
JIGGER CUP THING.Copy !req
254. WELL, IT SEEMS THAT THE MONSTER
HAS TAKEN OVER NEW YORKCopy !req
255. AND IT'S MY DUTY AS CAPTAIN OF
THE... ARMY TO KILL THE MONSTER.Copy !req
256. EXCUSE ME.Copy !req
257. Jason/Monster:
MONSTER COMING THROUGH.Copy !req
258. COMING THROUGH—— HOW YOU DOING?Copy !req
259. AIM FOR HIS HEART!Copy !req
260. KILL HIM! FIRE!Copy !req
261. AAAH!Copy !req
262. DIRECT HIT.Copy !req
263. MAYBE YOU SHOULD LOOK
AT YOURSELVESCopy !req
264. BEFORE YOU TAKE IT OUT ON ME!Copy !req
265. I'M JUST ONE MONSTER...Copy !req
266. AND WHEN I'M GONE...Copy !req
267. YOU'LL REMEMBER ME!Copy !req
268. OW!Copy !req
269. OW!Copy !req
270. OW!Copy !req
271. AND THEN YOU'LL HAVE
TO LOOK AT YOURSELVESCopy !req
272. AND OWN UP TO WHAT YOU'VE DONE!Copy !req
273. Jason/Monster:
FOR ISN'T EVERY MAN A MONSTER?Copy !req
274. I GUESS HE'S RIGHT.Copy !req
275. I GUESS WE'RE ALL...Copy !req
276. YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I'M RIGHT!Copy !req
277. I... I KNOW.Copy !req
278. SO STOP SHOOTING!Copy !req
279. OKAY, HEY, GUYS...Copy !req
280. DON'T YOU REALIZE
THAT IF YOU STOP NOWCopy !req
281. I MIGHT BE ABLE TO GET SURGERY?Copy !req
282. UH... YEAH, NO, NO...Copy !req
283. I'M GONNA TELL 'EM, HOLD ON.Copy !req
284. TELL THE GUY WHO'S SHOOTING
TO STOP SHOOTING!Copy !req
285. WHO'S SHOOTING?Copy !req
286. OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE,
TELL 'EM TO STOP!Copy !req
287. I'M TRYING.Copy !req
288. I MEAN, HELLO!Copy !req
289. I KNOW.Copy !req
290. DO YOU HAVE ANY CONTROL
OVER YOUR PEOPLE?Copy !req
291. I...Copy !req
292. OW!Copy !req
293. HEY, YOU GUYS, WHO'S SHOOTING?Copy !req
294. WHO IS SHOOTING?Copy !req
295. OH, FORGET IT.Copy !req
296. LEAVE IT ALONE.
I'LL JUST DIE.Copy !req
297. LOOK, HE'S TURNING BACK
TO A MAN.Copy !req
298. WHY'D YOU MAKE ME
DO THAT SPEECH?Copy !req
299. LYNCH, HOW ARE YOU?Copy !req
300. OH, HELLO, McGUIRK.Copy !req
301. HOW YOU DOING?Copy !req
302. OH, I'M FINE.Copy !req
303. YEAH?Copy !req
304. I DIDN'T COME UP HERE JUST
TO TALK TO YOU AND CHAT.Copy !req
305. I WAS WONDERING WHAT HAPPENED
TO BRENDON SMALL YESTERDAY.Copy !req
306. I UNDERSTAND HE WAS WITH YOU
AFTER SCHOOL AND, YOU KNOW,Copy !req
307. I HAD A 3:30 PRACTICE, AND...Copy !req
308. MY UNDERSTANDING, LYNCH WAS THAT
BRENDON WAS GOINGCopy !req
309. TO BE AT PRACTICE YESTERDAY.Copy !req
310. I NEED HIM AT PRACTICE EVERY DAY
THIS WEEKCopy !req
311. BECAUSE WE'VE GOT A GAME AGAINST
KENT COMING UP ON SATURDAY.Copy !req
312. THAT'S AN IMPORTANT GAME,
ISN'T IT?Copy !req
313. IT IS.Copy !req
314. MM—HMM.Copy !req
315. WHAT DO YOU ACTUALLY TEACH,
LYNCH?Copy !req
316. I NEVER UNDERSTOOD
EXACTLY WHAT YOU DO.Copy !req
317. IT'S FOURTH GRADE—...Copy !req
318. I TEACH ALL SUBJECTS EXCEPT
FOR SOCCER.Copy !req
319. YEAH, WELL, I MEAN, SOCCER
IS NOT THE ONLY THING I TEACH,Copy !req
320. BY THE WAY.Copy !req
321. REALLY?
THAT'S CORRECT.Copy !req
322. SOCCER IS FALL AND WINTER.Copy !req
323. I HAVE A SPRING SPORT
AS WELL...Copy !req
324. WHICH IS ALSO SOCCER.Copy !req
325. SO I GUESS I JUST TEACH SOCCER
BUT IT'S TWO SEASONSCopy !req
326. SEPARATED BY...Copy !req
327. WHAT IF BRENDON IS NOT DOING
WELL IN SOCCER?Copy !req
328. DO YOU WANT HIM TO DO BETTER?Copy !req
329. YOU KNOW, LYNCH, IT'S FUNNY—...Copy !req
330. WHEN I TALK TO YOU,
I GET A LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLECopy !req
331. BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE BEING
CONDESCENDING TO MECopy !req
332. AND I HOPE THAT'S NOT THE CASE
BECAUSE IF IT IS,Copy !req
333. I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS
AND IF IT ISN'T,Copy !req
334. THEN LET'S CLEAR IT UP
RIGHT NOW.Copy !req
335. SO YOU COULD TELL ME WHETHER
YOU'RE BEING CONDESCENDING TO MECopy !req
336. WHENEVER WE SPEAK AND IF YOU SAY
"YES," I'M GOING TO BEAT YOU UPCopy !req
337. RIGHT HERE IN THE FACULTY LOUNGE
AND IF YOU SAY "NO,"Copy !req
338. I'M GONNA SAY "FINE."Copy !req
339. OKAY.Copy !req
340. ALL RIGHT.Copy !req
341. YOU BEING CONDESCENDING
RIGHT NOW?Copy !req
342. HMM...Copy !req
343. SO, HERE'S BRENDON
WITH HIS NEW PRESENTATION.Copy !req
344. BRENDON?Copy !req
345. THANK YOU.Copy !req
346. I DECIDED THIS TIME THAT I WAS
GOING TO PREPARECopy !req
347. BECAUSE LAST TIME, WHOO!
YOU KNOW?Copy !req
348. SO THIS TIME I... I WENT TO THE
LIBRARY AND I'M JUST HERECopy !req
349. TO TELL YOU PEOPLE THATCopy !req
350. YOU CAN'T JUST GO TO THE
LIBRARY AND EXPECT TO SIT DOWNCopy !req
351. AND HAVE A REPORT JUST HAPPEN——Copy !req
352. JUST TO FALL IN YOUR
LAP HERE, YOU KNOW?Copy !req
353. THAT'S SOMETHING YOU HAVE
TO PUT EFFORT INTOCopy !req
354. AND IF YOU THINK YOU'RE JUST
GONNA SQUEEZE BYCopy !req
355. WITHOUT DOING ANY WORK THEN
YOU'VE GOT ANOTHER THING COMING.Copy !req
356. EVERYBODY, BRENDON SMALL.Copy !req
357. GOOD JOB, BRENDON.Copy !req
358. BRENDON, BRENDON, THE BALL!Copy !req
359. I... I...Copy !req
360. THE BALL'S GOING BY YOU.Copy !req
361. DON'T WORRY.Copy !req
362. BRENDON, COME OUT.Copy !req
363. I'VE GOT IT UNDER CONTROL.Copy !req
364. COME ON, FORGET IT.Copy !req
365. I'M DOING IT!Copy !req
366. BRENDON, I CAN'T TALK TO YOU
FROM THERE.Copy !req
367. NOW COME IN.Copy !req
368. I HAVE A QUESTION.Copy !req
369. COME TO ME!Copy !req
370. I'VE GOT A QUESTION.Copy !req
371. BRENDON, YOU'RE
SCREWING THE GAME UP.Copy !req
372. NOW, COME IN HERE!Copy !req
373. MELISSA, GO GET
BRENDON AND BRING HIM BACK HERE,Copy !req
374. PLEASE, ALL RIGHT?Copy !req
375. WHAT DO YOU MEAN, TOO MANY
PEOPLE ON THE FIELD?Copy !req
376. COME ON, REF,
I'M TRYING TO GET THE KID OUT.Copy !req
377. I SENT THE KID IN
TO GET THE KID OUT.Copy !req
378. THAT'S WHAT I DID.Copy !req
379. YOU SAW IT.Copy !req
380. OH, COME ON!Copy !req
381. PUT DOWN THE WHISTLE.Copy !req
382. BRENDON?
YEAH?Copy !req
383. GO TO THE STORE
AND GET ME SOME SODA.
OKAY.Copy !req
384. THIS IS RIDICULOUS.Copy !req
385. OH, COME ON, REF!Copy !req
386. I PUT THE BEEPER NUMBER
BY THE PHONE.Copy !req
387. UM, 8:30 IS BEDTIME.Copy !req
388. HMM?Copy !req
389. IT WAS 7:30 UNTIL JUST VERY
SHORT...Copy !req
390. MM—HMM.Copy !req
391. I ONLY WANT THE KIDS UP 15
OR 20 MINUTES A DAY.Copy !req
392. MMM.Copy !req
393. AND, UH...Copy !req
394. MAKE SURE THAT YOU DO THE ZIPLOC
BAGS WHEN YOU PUT THE FOODCopy !req
395. BACK IN THE REFRIGERATOR.Copy !req
396. MAKE SURE YOU DO THE ZIP.Copy !req
397. SEE HOW IT CHANGES COLOR THERE?Copy !req
398. MM—HMM, MM—HMM.Copy !req
399. WATCH THIS.Copy !req
400. SEE HOW YOU PUSH IT DOWN AND IT
MAKES IT CHANGE COLOR?Copy !req
401. THAT'S THE ONLY WAY TO KNOW
YOU'VE LOCKED IN THE FRESHNESS.Copy !req
402. MM—HMM, MM—HMM.Copy !req
403. HOW LATE CAN YOU STAY?Copy !req
404. MM—HMM.Copy !req
405. MM—HMM.Copy !req
406. MM—HMM.
MM—HMM.Copy !req
407. MM—HMM.
MM—HMM.Copy !req
408. THEY'RE DOWNSTAIRS
MAKING A MOVIE.Copy !req
409. OOH, WHAT ELSE DO
THESE PEOPLE HAVE?Copy !req
410. OOH, SNACK PAC.Copy !req
411. OH—UH, WHAT IS THIS?Copy !req
412. YOU SHOULD SEE WHAT'S
IN THE ICE—CREAM SECTION.Copy !req
413. THIS THING'S OLDER THAN ME.Copy !req
414. I COULD DIE EATING THE FOOD
IN HERE.Copy !req
415. I COULD ACTUALLY DIE.Copy !req
416. I COULD HAVE A...Copy !req
417. OH, MY GOD, I COULD HAVE
A LAWSUIT.Copy !req
418. WE CAN WORK THIS THING OUT.Copy !req
419. I WAS ON THE PHONE
TALKING TO MY FRIEND.Copy !req
420. ALL OF A SUDDEN I HAD A BITE OF
SHERBET AND, OH, THE SHERBET—...Copy !req
421. IT'S BAD, BAD SHERBET.Copy !req
422. BRENDON.Copy !req
423. YES.Copy !req
424. WE'RE VERY HAPPY THAT YOU'RE,
UM...Copy !req
425. YES?Copy !req
426. THAT YOU CAME TO LIVE WITH US IN
OUR GUESTHOUSECopy !req
427. AND WE'RE SO HAPPY YOU DECIDED
TO MOVE TO OUR SMALL TOWN.Copy !req
428. WHY DID YOU?Copy !req
429. I MEAN, A GUY LIKE YOU...Copy !req
430. I KNOW, I DON'T LIKE TO TALK
ABOUT ANYTHING.Copy !req
431. YEAH, YOU'RE VERY TIGHT—LIPPED
ABOUT YOUR PAST.Copy !req
432. I GET THAT A LOT.Copy !req
433. RIGHT.Copy !req
434. YEAH.Copy !req
435. WHY?Copy !req
436. HEY, HOW ARE YOU GUYS DOING?Copy !req
437. FINE, BUT WHAT ABOUT YOUR PAST?Copy !req
438. IT'S BEST YOU DON'T KNOW TOO
MUCH ABOUT...Copy !req
439. THERE'S ONE THING I DO KNOW
AND THAT'S THATCopy !req
440. IT'S SOMEBODY'S BIRTHDAY.Copy !req
441. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BRENDON.Copy !req
442. OH, YOU GUYS.Copy !req
443. BLOW OUT THE CANDLES.Copy !req
444. MAKE A WISH.Copy !req
445. SPEECH, SPEECH.Copy !req
446. NO, WHAT'D YOU SAY?Copy !req
447. SPEECH.Copy !req
448. NO!Copy !req
449. YOU WOULDN'T LIKE ME WHEN I GIVE
A SPEECH!Copy !req
450. WHAT'S HAPPENING?Copy !req
451. MY CAKE.Copy !req
452. I'LL KILL YOU FIRST.Copy !req
453. I'LL KILL YOU FIRST, LADY.Copy !req
454. ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU
HAVE O.C.D.?Copy !req
455. I HAVE O.C.D.Copy !req
456. HMM.Copy !req
457. IT MEANS TWO THINGS.Copy !req
458. IT MEANS, UH...
IT MEANS I CAN'T BE QUIET.Copy !req
459. MM—HMM.Copy !req
460. A LOT OF TIMES I FIND MYSELF
TALKING ABOUT THINGSCopy !req
461. THAT AREN'T REALLY THE SUBJECT.Copy !req
462. WHENEVER I COME TO THESE PAREN—-
TEACHER CONFERENCES,Copy !req
463. I CAN'T... I SAY F——K OVER AND
OVER AGAINCopy !req
464. AND IT TURNS OUT THAT
THAT IS A...Copy !req
465. IT'S LIKE A COUSIN OF TOURETTE'S
OR SOMETHING.Copy !req
466. IT'S A SYMPTOM WHERE, YOU KNOW
F——K THIS, F——K THAT,Copy !req
467. F——KIN' PHONICS.Copy !req
468. IT'S A PROBLEM.Copy !req
469. AND, AND, YOU KNOW A LOT OF
TIMES I THINK,Copy !req
470. FOR THESE RELATIONSHIPS WHERE,
YOU KNOW,Copy !req
471. THE KIND OF RELATIONSHIPS
WITH BRENDON'S TEACHERS...Copy !req
472. MM—HMM...Copy !req
473. I THINK I GET OFF ON A BAD START
AND THEN I GET OFFCopy !req
474. ON A BAD MIDDLE AND THEN
EVENTUALLY, I GO TO A BAD END.Copy !req
475. HOLD I HAVE TO TAKE
MY SWEATER OFFCopy !req
476. BECAUSE I'M REALLY F——KIN' HOT.Copy !req
477. UH... SORT OF.Copy !req
478. I GUESS, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT
TO CALL IT.Copy !req
479. NUH, HE WAS A WIMP.Copy !req
480. YOU KNOW, I, I... HE WASN'T
GONNA PUT HIS ARM AROUND MECopy !req
481. SO I PUT MY ARM AROUND HIM
AND I COULD FEEL HIMCopy !req
482. TWITCH A LITTLE BIT SO I
TIGHTENED MY GRIP A LITTLE BITCopy !req
483. AND I SAID, "DON'T TWITCH,
RELAX.Copy !req
484. JUST RELAX, RELAX,
WE'RE HAVING FUN, YOU KNOW"Copy !req
485. AND I COULD FEEL HIM LIKE
TRYING TO PULL.Copy !req
486. HE WAS PULLING THE OTHER WAY AND
I WAS LIKE,Copy !req
487. "HEY, I REALLY LIKE YOU.Copy !req
488. I THINK YOU'RE REALLY
A NICE PERSON."Copy !req
489. AND I PULLED HIM IN AND
ALL OF A SUDDEN LO AND BEHOLD,Copy !req
490. HE'S IN A HEADLOCK.Copy !req
491. HE'S LIKE, "LET ME OUT
OF THIS HEADLOCK!"Copy !req
492. I DON'T KNOW, HE HASN'T CALLED.Copy !req
493. BRENDON?Copy !req
494. AND A ... YES?Copy !req
495. I HAVE A SORE THROAT.Copy !req
496. FROM SCREAMING?Copy !req
497. YES.
THAT WAS, UH...Copy !req
498. BUT ALSO, I HAVE PINK—EYE, TOO.Copy !req
499. OH, JASON.Copy !req
500. I'M GONNA... I'M GONNA GET OUT
OF HERE.Copy !req
501. HEY, THANKS FOR COMING.Copy !req
502. I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW, DUANE.Copy !req
503. OKAY, I'LL SEE YOU.Copy !req
504. JASON, YOU SHOULDN'T BE...Copy !req
505. 'CAUSE WE'RE GONNA GET SICK NOW.Copy !req
506. IF YOU'RE CONTAGIOUS,
YOU SHOULD STAY AT HOME.Copy !req
507. THAT'S WHAT MY MOM SAID.Copy !req
508. DOES YOUR MOM KNOW
THAT YOU LEFT?Copy !req
509. YOUR MOM WAS RIGHT, JASON.Copy !req
510. I'M DIZZY.Copy !req
511. MAYBE WE SHOULD TELL
THE BABY—SITTER.Copy !req
512. OKAY.Copy !req
513. YEAH.Copy !req
514. OH, GOD.Copy !req
515. COVER YOUR MOUTH.Copy !req
516. COUGH THE OTHER WAY,
PLEASE.Copy !req
517. HOLD IT, I'M CHOKING.Copy !req
518. OH, I THINK I'M BETTER.Copy !req
519. CAN I GET YOU A GLASS OF WATER?Copy !req
520. NO, NOTHING FOR ME, THANK YOU.Copy !req
521. I DON'T LIKE TO DRINK IN FRONT
OF YOU PEOPLE.Copy !req
522. 'CAUSE OF WHAT HAPPENED LAST
TIME?Copy !req
523. WELL, YES.Copy !req
524. HMM.Copy !req
525. NOW, I HAVE TO ASK YOU THIS.Copy !req
526. DO YOU DO A FAIR AMOUNT OF
DRINKING DURING THE WEEK?Copy !req
527. EVERY DAY?Copy !req
528. NO, I USED TO HAVE A LITTLE
RELAXER, A LITTLE...Copy !req
529. ONE GLASS OF WINE, A RELAXER,
EVERY EVENINGCopy !req
530. WHICH WOULD MAKE BRENDON'S
HOMEWORK A LOT EASIERCopy !req
531. FOR ME TO DO.Copy !req
532. I ALSO HAVE URINARY TRACT
INFECTION.Copy !req
533. IS THAT WHEN IT BURNS
WHEN YOU PEE?Copy !req
534. UM, IT FEELS WEIRD.Copy !req
535. OH, MAN.Copy !req
536. LIKE THERE'S STUFF IN IT.Copy !req
537. LIKE FIRE?Copy !req
538. NO, LIKE RICE.Copy !req
539. YOU KNOW, ONE TIME, WHO WAS
IT?—...Copy !req
540. RUSSELL WEST, I THINK—...Copy !req
541. SPIT OUTSIDE SO MISS MARTIN
MADE HIM SPIT INTO A JAR.Copy !req
542. HE HAD TO FILL A WHOLE JAR WITH
SPIT AND I WAS SO JEALOUS.Copy !req
543. I HAD ECZEMA ONCE
BUT THAT'S NOT CONTAGIOUS.Copy !req
544. I HAVE ECZEMA.Copy !req
545. WHERE DO YOU HAVE IT?Copy !req
546. I HAVE IT ON ELBOW, KNEE,
CROTCH, AND, UM, UNDERARMCopy !req
547. AND I HAVE HEAD ECZEMA, WHICH IS
CALLED "CRADLE CAP."Copy !req
548. WHAT IS CRADLE CAP?Copy !req
549. HERE, I'LL SHOW YOU.Copy !req
550. OH, YOU TAKE IT OUT
OF YOUR HEAD.Copy !req
551. OH, OHH!Copy !req
552. IT'S WHITE.Copy !req
553. EWW!Copy !req
554. OH, JESUS.Copy !req
555. YOU SHOULD WEAR A HAT.Copy !req
556. AND IT FEELS GOOD
WHEN I PICK IT OFFCopy !req
557. BUT THE TEACHERS HIT ME
WHEN I DO IT.Copy !req
558. MR. IRVIN HIT ME
WHEN I HAD...Copy !req
559. HE REALLY HIT YOU?Copy !req
560. 'CAUSE I KEPT PICKING
CRADLE CAP,Copy !req
561. AND THEN MRS. HANNEMAN HIT ME
WHEN I POOED MYSELF IN CLASS.Copy !req
562. WELL, LYNCH.Copy !req
563. MCGUIRK.Copy !req
564. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY.Copy !req
565. WE LOST TO KENT 31 TO ZERO
WHICH, UH,Copy !req
566. I GUESS MAKES IT 14 YEARS
IN A ROW, THANKS TO YOU.Copy !req
567. DID, UH...?Copy !req
568. I GOTTA BE HONEST WITH YOU,
LYNCH—...Copy !req
569. I'M NOT THRILLED ABOUT THE WAY
YOU HANDLED IT AND, UH...Copy !req
570. I COULD TAKE IT UP
WITH THE SCHOOL COMMITTEECopy !req
571. OR I COULD TAKE IT
UP WITH THE PRINCIPAL.Copy !req
572. I COULD DO A LOT OF THINGS,
BUT WHAT I'M GOING TO DOCopy !req
573. IS PULL ON YOUR BOW TIE
AND UNTIE ITCopy !req
574. RIGHT IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY
TO EMBARRASS YOU.Copy !req
575. MAYBE I'LL DO THIS
WHERE I TOUCH YOUR TCopy !req
576. AND THEN HIT YOUR FACE.Copy !req
577. OR I'LL DO THIS.Copy !req
578. I'LL JUST HIT YOU BACK AND FORTH
WITH MY HAND ACROSS YOUR FACE,Copy !req
579. AND THERE'S NOTHING
YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.Copy !req
580. ALRIGHT?Copy !req
581. HMM—MM.Copy !req
582. OR MAYBE I'LL BEND DOWN
AND UNTIE YOUR SHOESCopy !req
583. TIE 'EM TOGETHER
LIKE I'M DOING RIGHT NOW.Copy !req
584. UM—HMM.Copy !req
585. BOY, THAT WAS...Copy !req
586. THAT WAS A NEAR MISS.Copy !req
587. REALLY? WHAT...
WHAT HAPPENED?Copy !req
588. WELL, THEY'RE GONNA
GET A TUTOR FOR YOU.Copy !req
589. AND THEY SAID THAT
I GET TO KEEP BEING THE MOM.Copy !req
590. MOM.Copy !req
591. IS THAT A SUCCESSFUL DAY
FOR THE SMALLS?Copy !req
592. MOM, YOU SCREWED ME.Copy !req
593. YOU SCREWED ME.Copy !req
594. A TUTOR?Copy !req
595. YOU KNOW WHAT, LYNCH?Copy !req
596. I'M GONNA STOP.Copy !req
597. I'M NOT GONNA MESS
WITH YOU ANYMORE, OKAYCopy !req
598. BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO SIT HERE
AND HUMILIATE YOU.Copy !req
599. UH—HUH.Copy !req
600. ALL RIGHT, ONE MORE LITTLE BIT
WITH THE HAIR, BUT THAT'S IT.Copy !req
601. WHAT DO YOU USE IN THAT,
BY THE WAY?Copy !req
602. UH, I DON'T KNOW.Copy !req
603. JUST SOMETHING
THAT COMES IN A BOTTLE.Copy !req
604. IT'S NICE.
YEAH.Copy !req
605. IT LOOKS GOOD.Copy !req
606. RIGHT, BUT IT'S NOT
A VERY GREASY GREASE.Copy !req
607. IT'S JUST KIND OF...Copy !req
608. I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING ELSE.Copy !req
609. ORIGINALLY I THOUGHT YOUR
MUSTACHE LOOKED SILLY,Copy !req
610. BUT IT'S NOT BAD,
LIKE A THIN ONE.Copy !req
611. YOU DON'T SEE THAT
TOO OFTEN.Copy !req
612. I USED TO MAKE FUN OF IT
TO EVERYBODY ELSE...Copy !req
613. YES, I LIKE MY MUSTACHE.Copy !req
614. I'M JUST SAYING I LIKE,
I LIKE IT TOO NOW.Copy !req
615. I'M SAYING I'M COMING AROUND
ON IT.Copy !req
616. WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.Copy !req
617. AND, YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T MEAN
TO COME DOWN ON YOUCopy !req
618. ABOUT THAT BRENDON SMALL
THING BEFORE.Copy !req
619. I MEAN, THAT WAS KINDA SILLY.Copy !req
620. WE HAVE TO WORK TOGETHER.Copy !req
621. I MEAN, THESE CHILDREN
ARE HERE FOR...Copy !req
622. FOR OVERALL EDUCATION,Copy !req
623. AND YOU'RE PART
OF THAT.
WHATEVER.Copy !req
624. YEAH, OKAY, BRENDON LOOK,Copy !req
625. I GUESS YOU PROVED
WHAT YOU WANTED TO PROVE.Copy !req
626. NOBODY CAN MAKE YOU
DO ANYTHING.Copy !req
627. YOU HAVEN'T DONE
ANY WORK ALL YEAR.Copy !req
628. GREAT, GREAT, GREAT.Copy !req
629. NOW, WOULD YOU DO ME AN ENORMOUS
FAVOR AND JUST SHOW THEMCopy !req
630. THAT YOU CAN DO IT?Copy !req
631. WELL, IF YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE ME
FEEL BAD ABOUT IT, THEN OKAY.Copy !req
632. I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU FEEL LOUSY
IF I POSSIBLY CAN.Copy !req
633. I'LL DO IT, I WILL.Copy !req
634. I'LL TRY HARD BUT THIS IS IT.Copy !req
635. I'M NEVER DOING IT AGAIN.Copy !req
636. Kubrick, Scorsese, Altman,
Spielberg, Lucas—...Copy !req
637. They are all fabulous directors
and every single one of themCopy !req
638. had a tutor, just like me.Copy !req
639. Thank you very much, and I hope
you enjoyed my speech.Copy !req
640. Back to you, Brendon.Copy !req
641. THANK YOU, BRENDON.Copy !req
642. GOOD WORK UP THERE,
BY THE WAY.Copy !req
643. Thanks.Copy !req
644. How are you doing?Copy !req
645. FINE,
HOW ARE YOU DOING?Copy !req
646. Fine.Copy !req
647. Mr. Lynch?Copy !req
648. BRENDON?Copy !req
649. Ha—ha!Copy !req
650. WHAT IS THIS——Copy !req
651. A GLASS OF WATER?Copy !req
652. MMM...Copy !req
653. WHAT I NEED FROM YOU IS I NEED
SOME REACTION CUTAWAYSCopy !req
654. SOME REACTION SHOTS OF YOU
SCREAMING AND SAYING,Copy !req
655. "OH, MY GOD, IT'S A MONSTER."Copy !req
656. I'M GONNA TURN THE CAMERA ON.Copy !req
657. OKAY, NOW GIVE ME A "OH, MY GOD,
IT'S A MONSTER!"Copy !req
658. OH, MY GOD...Copy !req
659. OH, MY GOD, IT'S A MONSTER.Copy !req
660. YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO GIVE ME
MORE THAN THAT.Copy !req
661. OH, MY GOD, IT'S A...
IT'S A MONSTER!Copy !req
662. THAT'S GOOD.Copy !req
663. OKAY NOW, LIKE,
"HE'S WRECKING THE CITY!"Copy !req
664. HE'S WRECKING THE CITY!Copy !req
665. THAT'S GOOD, OKAY.Copy !req
666. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?Copy !req
667. THAT'S GREAT! KEEP GOING!Copy !req
668. IT'S A MONSTER!Copy !req
669. LOOK, I WANNA...Copy !req
670. PUT ME DOWN!Copy !req
671. THAT'S GREAT.Copy !req
672. HOW 'BOUT...?Copy !req
673. PUT ME DOWN!Copy !req
674. OW, MY RIBS!Copy !req
675. YOU'RE CRUSHING MY HEAD!Copy !req
676. THAT'S...Copy !req
677. STOP IT!Copy !req
678. STOP HURTING MY LEG!Copy !req
679. OKAY, JUST, YEAH, THAT'S...Copy !req
680. YEAH, OKAY, IF YOU COULD JUST...Copy !req
681. A LITTLE BIT LESS,
A LITTLE LESS OVER—THE—TOP.Copy !req
682. YOU'RE KINDA DOING IT
TOO MUCH.Copy !req
683. CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY
THE TRANSCRIPTION COMPANY
BURBANK, CA
WWW.TRANSCRIPTS.NETCopy !req