1. BRENDON, THE POLICEMAN SAIDCopy !req
2. ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD.Copy !req
3. SO, UNFORTUNATELY
YOU MIGHT BE AT FAULT.Copy !req
4. FAULT?
FAULT, SCHMAULT.Copy !req
5. THEY CAN'T PROVE CRAP.Copy !req
6. SHOULD'VE FLED THE SCENE——
NEXT TIME...Copy !req
7. NEXT TIME?
NO NEXT TIME, BRENDON.Copy !req
8. YOU COULD'VE REALLY GOTTEN HURT.Copy !req
9. I KNOW.Copy !req
10. WAIT A MINUTE——WHERE'S MY BIKE?
WHAT HAPPENED...?Copy !req
11. WE NEED TO TURN AROUND.Copy !req
12. BRENDON, YOUR BIKE IS TOTALED.Copy !req
13. ACTUALLY, IT'S...
IT'S IN MY POCKET.Copy !req
14. HERE IT IS, I'M SORRY.Copy !req
15. GREAT—— I MOWED LAWNS FOR A YEAR
TO GET THAT BIKE.Copy !req
16. FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY.Copy !req
17. YOU'VE NEVER MOWED A LAWN
IN YOUR LIFE.Copy !req
18. THAT'S NOT THE POINT.Copy !req
19. LOOK, I HAVE A CONCUSSION, OKAY?Copy !req
20. AND I'M NOT EVEN SURE
WHO YOU ARE RIGHT NOW.Copy !req
21. 'KAY?
MOM?Copy !req
22. UH—HUH.Copy !req
23. HEY, THERE'S ANOTHER LADY
IN THE CAR.Copy !req
24. WHAT'S THIS...?
WHAT'S...?Copy !req
25. WHO...?Copy !req
26. HELLO.Copy !req
27. HI, LITTLE BRENDON,
HOW'S YOUR BOO—BOO?Copy !req
28. HI, HI, YOU.Copy !req
29. HI.Copy !req
30. HI—— UH, WHO'S THIS?Copy !req
31. THIS IS STEPHANIE.Copy !req
32. WAS GOING TO COME...Copy !req
33. HELLO.Copy !req
34. FROM THE AIRPORT.Copy !req
35. REMEMBER, I TOLD YOU ABOUT
STEPHANIE, SHE'S...Copy !req
36. I'M JUST PASSING THROUGH.Copy !req
37. JUST PASSING THROUGH.Copy !req
38. WE KNEW EACH OTHER IN COLLEGE.Copy !req
39. SORORITY SISTERS——PHI DELTS.Copy !req
40. ACTUALLY, UM, I WASN'T IN THE
SORORITY—— THAT WAS ISABELLA.Copy !req
41. NO, NO, NO——
WE PLEDGED TOGETHER.Copy !req
42. YOU WERE THERE.Copy !req
43. ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW, UM, WE MET
THROUGH ISABELLA, REMEMBER?Copy !req
44. OH, ISABELLA—— I LOVE HER
SO MUCH, SHE IS THE BEST.Copy !req
45. YEAH, SHE SOUNDS GREAT.Copy !req
46. IS MY MOM AGAIN?Copy !req
47. BLESS YOU——I KNOW HER.
SHE'S MY BROTHER.Copy !req
48. GOD, I THINK JOSIE'S
COMING DOWN WITH SOMETHING.Copy !req
49. I'M PROBABLY GOING TO HAVE TO
TAKE HER TO THE DOCTOR, TOO...Copy !req
50. YOU KNOW, I TALKED TO ISABELLA
A MONTH AGO.Copy !req
51. SHE'S STILL IN ENGLAND
WITH JACOB—— SHE SOUNDED GREAT.Copy !req
52. I SHOULD CALL HER, ACTUALLY.Copy !req
53. YOU SHOULD CALL HER.Copy !req
54. SO WE'D FOOL GUYS AT BARS?Copy !req
55. HELLO, I'M FROM AUSTRALIA.Copy !req
56. LAND HO, GUV'NUH.Copy !req
57. I DON'T THINK I WAS THERE
WHEN YOU DID THAT.Copy !req
58. I'M CONFUSED——
ARE WE DROPPING HER OFF?Copy !req
59. DUE TO MY UNFORESEEN INJURY,Copy !req
60. PRODUCTION THE, UH,Copy !req
61. SLAPSTICK BARBARIAN PROJECT.Copy !req
62. WELL, CAN'T WE, UM, RECAST YOU?Copy !req
63. YEAH, WE CAN JUST GRAB ANYBODY
OFF THE STREET.Copy !req
64. HEY, IF I THOUGHTCopy !req
65. WHAT I DO THEN, YOU KNOW,Copy !req
66. IN A HEARTBEAT I WOULD...Copy !req
67. BUT... BUT THAT'S NOTCopy !req
68. AND WE'RE ALREADY
HALFWAY FINISHED.Copy !req
69. IT... IS THE TAPE IN THERE?Copy !req
70. YEAH.Copy !req
71. HERE, LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THIS
AND SEE WHAT WE HAVE SO FAR.Copy !req
72. SO, UH, WE GOT SOME WORK TO DO.Copy !req
73. AND DIDN'T RELY SO MUCH
ON THE VIOLENCE?Copy !req
74. YEAH.Copy !req
75. NO, RIGHT—— NO, NO, NO, NO,
I... I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT.Copy !req
76. JOKES—— JOKES.Copy !req
77. YEAH, WE'LL WRITE SOME JOKES.Copy !req
78. YOU GUYS, UH, GET...
GET THE PENS OUT.Copy !req
79. OKAY.Copy !req
80. LET'S, UM, GET COOKING.Copy !req
81. LET'S GET THIS THING,
UH, MOVING.Copy !req
82. BRENDON, HOW ABOUT YOU ASK
JASON WHAT TIME IT IS?Copy !req
83. UH, OKAY, UH, WHAT TIME IS IT?Copy !req
84. UH, 7:00—ISH.Copy !req
85. IS THAT IT?Copy !req
86. WOULD GET YOU GUYS STARTED.Copy !req
87. LET'S DO THIS, OKAY?Copy !req
88. I'M A BARBARIAN,
SO ARE YOU, JASON...Copy !req
89. OH, I HAVE A GOOD, UM, JOKE.Copy !req
90. OH, YEAH?
OKAY, LET'S HEAR IT.Copy !req
91. IF WE'RE BOTH BARBARIANS, RIGHT?Copy !req
92. RIGHT, SURE.Copy !req
93. AND SAY "UM, EXCUSE ME,Copy !req
94. CAN I 'AX' YOU A QUESTION?"Copy !req
95. THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.Copy !req
96. BECAUSE, YOU KNOW...
IT'S KIND OF A PLAY ON WORDS.Copy !req
97. WE BOTH HAVE BATTLE AXES.Copy !req
98. YEAH... RIGHT, I GOT IT, YEAH.Copy !req
99. AND THEN YOU'RE, LIKE,Copy !req
100. "WHAT KIND OF QUESTION
WOULD YOU 'AX' ME?"Copy !req
101. RIGHT.Copy !req
102. AND I WOULD, LIKE "WELL, I HAVE
A LOT OF QUESTIONS TO 'AX' YOU"Copy !req
103. AND THEN YOU WOULD SAY, LIKE,
"WELL, 'AX' AWAY,"Copy !req
104. AND THEN I WOULD SAY, LIKE...Copy !req
105. WE GET IT.Copy !req
106. "WHICH SHOULD I 'AX' FIRST?"Copy !req
107. WE GET IT—— I'M GOING TO...Copy !req
108. AND, BRENDON, YOU WOULD SAY,Copy !req
109. "I DON'T KNOW.
"JUST PICK ONE TO 'AX'..."Copy !req
110. YOU GUYS, I'M GOING TO...Copy !req
111. "RIGHT NOW,"
AND THEN I WOULD SAY...Copy !req
112. IT'S BASICALLY... YOU'RE PLAYING
ON THE WORD "AX," I THINK.Copy !req
113. YES, BUT FOR A LONG TIME.Copy !req
114. BUT YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE AXES,
YOU HAVE CLUBS.Copy !req
115. YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW
THIS IS LIKE...Copy !req
116. NO, BARBAR... OH.Copy !req
117. YEAH.Copy !req
118. "HEY, YOU WANT TO GO
TO THAT NEW CLUB?"Copy !req
119. RIGHT.Copy !req
120. I DON'T LIKE THAT ONE.Copy !req
121. MMM.Copy !req
122. I'M VERY SPIRITUAL NOW.Copy !req
123. UM, I GUESS I BELIEVECopy !req
124. HAPPENS FOR A REASON, YOU KNOW?Copy !req
125. RIGHT, YEAH.Copy !req
126. MM—HMM, AND IT'S KARMA, TOO.Copy !req
127. BUT I... I HAVECopy !req
128. AND THEY ARE GREAT.Copy !req
129. AND, UM, THEY'VE TAUGHT ME SO
MUCH... SO MUCH, UM, CHINESE.Copy !req
130. WELL, YEAH, YOU SOUND BUSY,
YOU SOUND...Copy !req
131. OH, I AM——ARE YOU KIDDING?
I AM.Copy !req
132. HEY, HOW'S YOUR HUSBAND?Copy !req
133. RICHARD?Copy !req
134. HE'S FANTASTIC. FANTASTIC GUY.Copy !req
135. BUSY AS A BEE—— BIZ, BUZZ, BUZZ.Copy !req
136. YOU KNOW, HE'S DOING...Copy !req
137. HE'S DOING EVERY... EVERY...
EVERYTHING.Copy !req
138. HOW ABOUT YOU?
ANY MEN?Copy !req
139. OH NO, NOT NOW——NOPE, UH—UH.Copy !req
140. GOD, I HAVEN'T SEEN RICHARD
SINCE YOUR WEDDING.Copy !req
141. WOW, THAT WAS LIKE, UM,
FIVE YEARS AGO.Copy !req
142. YUP, FIVE YEARS, YUP, YUP, YUP.Copy !req
143. OH, MY GOD!Copy !req
144. GO OUT DANCING!Copy !req
145. YOU AND ME, COME ON——
THE SORORITY SISTERS, THE GIRLS.Copy !req
146. I DON'T KNOW—— BRENDON'S IN BAD
SHAPE, JOSIE'S GOT A COLD...Copy !req
147. OH, COME ON—...Copy !req
148. IT'LL BE LIKE OLD TIMES.Copy !req
149. YEAH, UH, I DON'T THINK SO.Copy !req
150. HEY, HOW OFTEN DO YOU SEE ME?Copy !req
151. NEVER, REALLY.Copy !req
152. THAT'S RIGHT, SO YOU'RE COMING.Copy !req
153. YOU'RE COMING, WE'RE GOING——
LET'S GO.Copy !req
154. NO—— YOU KNOW WHAT, STEPHANIE?Copy !req
155. I'M REALLY SORRY, NO.Copy !req
156. OH, COME ON.Copy !req
157. I DON'T THINK SO.Copy !req
158. WELL, WELL, THAT'S OKAY.
YOU KNOW, UM...Copy !req
159. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?Copy !req
160. I... I THINK I'M GOING TO GO.Copy !req
161. YEAH, I'M GOING TO GO OUT
DANCING BECAUSE I WANT TO.Copy !req
162. AND YOU SHOULD JUST HAVE...
YOU SHOULD GO.Copy !req
163. WELL, I WILL, AND I'LL BE BACK.
AND NOT TOO LATE.Copy !req
164. OKAY, DON'T DANCE TOO MUCH.Copy !req
165. HEY, I WON'T, DON'T WORRY.Copy !req
166. THANKS, MATE.
HAVE FUN.Copy !req
167. WHAT IF, UM, BRENDON,
YOU, UM... YOU'RE A BARBARIAN...Copy !req
168. UH—HUH, I LIKE IT.Copy !req
169. AND I'M A BARBARIAN...Copy !req
170. RIGHT, YEAH.Copy !req
171. THEN I COME UP TO YOU AND SAY,
"ACH, YOU ARE ACTING BARBARIC"Copy !req
172. AND THEN YOU SAY,
"BECAUSE I'M A BARBARIAN."Copy !req
173. ALL RIGHT, SHOULD WE TRY THAT?Copy !req
174. AND THEN I SAY, LIKE,Copy !req
175. "WELL, THAT STILL IS NO EXCUSE
FOR YOU BEING SO BARBARIC."Copy !req
176. AND THEN YOU SAY "I CAN'T HELP
IT BECAUSE I'M A BARBARIAN."Copy !req
177. JASON, I THINK YOU GOT TO LEARNCopy !req
178. BECAUSE YOU'RE STARTING OUTCopy !req
179. THE MORE YOU DO IT,
IT'S NOT AS FUNNY ANYMORE.Copy !req
180. IT COMES AROUND.Copy !req
181. RIGHT.Copy !req
182. SO WHY ARE YOU BEING SO,
UM, CRITICAL?Copy !req
183. THAT'S PART OF WHAT...
I'M TRYING TO HELP.Copy !req
184. OKAY, WELL, UM...
I THINK WE'RE HAVING...Copy !req
185. I THINK WE'RE...Copy !req
186. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?Copy !req
187. WE'VE GOT A LOT...Copy !req
188. WHO'S WRITING THIS DOWN?Copy !req
189. I AM.Copy !req
190. TO ME AND REALLY SELL IT BIG.Copy !req
191. OKAY, JASON COMES INCopy !req
192. AND HE SAYS, "YOU'RE ACTING
LIKE A BARBARIAN."Copy !req
193. "ACTING LIKE A BARBARIAN."Copy !req
194. AND THEN I STOPPED WRITING...Copy !req
195. THAT WAS NOT EVEN NEARLY...Copy !req
196. BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE I THINK
THE JOKE IS.Copy !req
197. NO, MELISSA, THE SCENE WENT ON
FOR ANOTHER THREE MINUTES.Copy !req
198. NO, BECAUSE THE...Copy !req
199. I KNOW, BUT THE...
IRONY OF YOU SAYING TO HIM...Copy !req
200. BRENDON, SHE'S, UM...Copy !req
201. OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?Copy !req
202. OF IT IS FUNNY.Copy !req
203. I THINK I KNOW A FEW THI...Copy !req
204. I DON'T WANT MY SCENES EDITED
BY YOU, MELISSA.Copy !req
205. OKAY, WELL, UM,
THIS IS TOUGH AND, UH,Copy !req
206. I THINK I HATE DOING THIS.Copy !req
207. I'M GOING TO FIND OUT
WHERE SHE KEEPS THE LIQUOR.Copy !req
208. OH, YEAH!Copy !req
209. HEY, HEY, DO THAT
AUSTRALIAN THING AGAIN.Copy !req
210. YOU KNOW THAT...Copy !req
211. GOOD DAY, MARSUPIAL DINGO...Copy !req
212. MATE.Copy !req
213. KEEP GOING.Copy !req
214. HI. UH, I DON'T MEAN
TO BE RUDE, BUT, UM...Copy !req
215. HEY, MISSY.Copy !req
216. HELLO, MISTER...Copy !req
217. YEAH, OKAY, THE NOISE
WOKE UP THE BABY.Copy !req
218. OH, OH, OH, I'M SO SORRY.
THIS IS PAULA.Copy !req
219. HEY, PAULA.Copy !req
220. OKAY.Copy !req
221. PAULA.Copy !req
222. YEAH, I HATE TO DO THIS
BUT IT IS 1:30 IN THE MORNING.Copy !req
223. COULD YOU CALL IT A NIGHT?Copy !req
224. OH, SURE, SURE—...Copy !req
225. OH, I'M SO SORRY.Copy !req
226. WHO THE HELL IS THAT?Copy !req
227. OH, LITTLE B.
OH, WE WOKE YOU UP, I'M SORRY.Copy !req
228. UM, ACTUALLY, THE SMELL OF CHEAP
COLOGNE AND WHISKEY WOKE ME UP.Copy !req
229. I JUST CAME DOWN TO SEE WHOSE...Copy !req
230. WELL, OKAY, GREAT, THEN.Copy !req
231. THE NIGHT'S OVER,
EVERYBODY GO TO BED.Copy !req
232. AM I THAT LOUD WHEN I SLEEP?Copy !req
233. YOU KNOW, BRENDON,
LEARN A LESSON FROM TONIGHT.Copy !req
234. IF YOU'RE EVER A HOUSEGUEST,
DON'T BRING STRANGE MEN OVER.Copy !req
235. I CAN'T MAKE ANY PROMISES.Copy !req
236. WELL, AT LEAST NOT TRUMPETEERS.Copy !req
237. YOU KNOW, IT'S FUNNY, I REMEMBER
HER BEING A LITTLE LESS...Copy !req
238. GREGARIOUS.Copy !req
239. WHAT, YOU MEAN, LIKE,
IN THE HIPS?Copy !req
240. PUTTING THOSE AWAY?Copy !req
241. OH, SURE, THANKS—— SURE.Copy !req
242. OW, OH, I'M SLEEPY.Copy !req
243. OH, YEAH?Copy !req
244. I'LL BE FINE.Copy !req
245. YOU KNOW I...Copy !req
246. YOU BROUGHT HOME LAST NIGHT.Copy !req
247. OH, SURE—— WHAT?Copy !req
248. I... I'M NOT SURE IF I...Copy !req
249. OKAY, HERE'S THE THING,
STEPHANIE.Copy !req
250. I DON'T REALLY LIKECopy !req
251. INSIDE HERE.Copy !req
252. OH, LET ME APOLOGIZE FOR THAT.Copy !req
253. YOU—KNOW—WHATS.Copy !req
254. DRINKS—— YEAH, YOU GUYS
WERE LOADED.Copy !req
255. YEAH, I GUESS I GOT
A LITTLE SILLY.Copy !req
256. BUT NO MORE DRUNK MEN——
I APOLOGIZE.Copy !req
257. DO WHAT YOU WANT AT HOME.Copy !req
258. I KNOW, I KNOW—— OKAY, OKAY.Copy !req
259. OH, UH, I GUESS
I REALLY MESSED UP, HUH?Copy !req
260. WELL, IT JUST, IT KIND OF
PUTS ME IN A WEIRD PLACE AND...Copy !req
261. IT PUTS YOU IN A WEIRD PLACE?Copy !req
262. I KEPT THINKING,Copy !req
263. WHILE THAT GUY WAS HERE?Copy !req
264. WHOA, OKAY, PAULA,
YOU'RE ABOUT TO CROSS A LINE.Copy !req
265. I'M NOT JUDGING YOU.Copy !req
266. MM—HMM—— HEY, JUST,
PLEASE, OKAY?Copy !req
267. HOLD ON TO THAT THOUGHT, THERE.Copy !req
268. UH, HI, SIR, CAN I HELP YOU?Copy !req
269. YEAH, I'VE GOTCopy !req
270. TO APPEAR IN JUVENILE COURT.Copy !req
271. WHY?Copy !req
272. RACKETEERING.Copy !req
273. WHAT?Copy !req
274. OH, WAIT, LET'S SEE HERE.Copy !req
275. APPARENTLY, HE BROKECopy !req
276. AND CAUSED AN ACCIDENT.Copy !req
277. HE HAS TO GO TO COURT FOR THAT?Copy !req
278. HEY, DID I STUTTER?Copy !req
279. NO, BUT IT SOUNDED LIKE YOU
LISPED A FEW TIMES.Copy !req
280. DON'T MAKE ME "ARRETHT" YOU.Copy !req
281. BRENDON, WAKE UP.Copy !req
282. I AM AWAKE.Copy !req
283. THIS IS HOW I EAT.Copy !req
284. I'VE GOT TO TAKE YOUR SISTERCopy !req
285. AND I CAN'T TAKE YOU
TO YOUR COURT DATE.Copy !req
286. GOOD, I DON'T WANT TO GO ANYWAY.Copy !req
287. NO, YOU HAVE TO GO, BECAUSE
THEY'LL THROW YOU IN JAILCopy !req
288. PLUS IT'LL MAKE ME LOOK BAD.Copy !req
289. HEY, LET THEM THROW ME IN JAIL.Copy !req
290. I'VE SEEN ESCAPE FROM ALCATRAZ,Copy !req
291. AND THAT ATTICA DOCUMENTARY,
AND STRIPES...Copy !req
292. NO, BRENDON.Copy !req
293. AND GOODFELLAS...Copy !req
294. I'LL FIND YOU A RIDE.Copy !req
295. YOU KNOW WHAT, I CAN'T BELIEVECopy !req
296. FOR ALMOST GETTING KILLED.Copy !req
297. I LEARNED MY STUPID LESSON.Copy !req
298. DON'T THESE PEOPLECopy !req
299. THAN REPRIMAND CHILDREN?Copy !req
300. I MEAN, WE'RE EASY TARGETS.Copy !req
301. YOU'RE GOING TO GO,
AND I'M GOING TO FIND YOU A RIDECopy !req
302. BECAUSE YOU CAN'T AFFORD
ANY MORE TROUBLE, BRENDON.Copy !req
303. UM, I CAN TAKE HIM.Copy !req
304. OH, NO.Copy !req
305. REALLY?Copy !req
306. SURE.Copy !req
307. WHEN DO YOU NEED ME TO DO IT?Copy !req
308. RIGHT AFTER SOCCER PRACTICE,
RIGHT?Copy !req
309. YEAH.Copy !req
310. THANKS, STEPHANIE.Copy !req
311. NO PROBLEM, REALLY.Copy !req
312. I MEAN, I'D...
I'D LOVE TO HELP OUT, OKAY?Copy !req
313. AS LONG AS I'M HERE, RIGHT?Copy !req
314. RIGHT, WELL, THANK YOU.Copy !req
315. YEAH, WHOOPIDY—DOO, STEPH.
THANKS A BUNCH.Copy !req
316. BRENDON, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?Copy !req
317. SOCCER PRACTICE IS OVER——
GET OUT OF HERE.Copy !req
318. I'M WAITING TO BE PICKED UP,
AND THEY'RE LATE.Copy !req
319. RIGHT—— WHAT'S REALLY
GOING ON HERE, BRENDON?Copy !req
320. RUNNING AWAY OR SOMETHING?Copy !req
321. NO, I'M NOT GOING TO RUN AWAY.Copy !req
322. YOU SHOULD——IT BUILDS CHARACTER.Copy !req
323. IS THAT A FACT?Copy !req
324. YEAH... I DID IT.Copy !req
325. RUNNING AWAY FROM HOME IS GREAT.Copy !req
326. WELL, THE FIRST TIME I RAN AWAY,
BRENDON, I WAS EIGHT,Copy !req
327. WORK ON AN OIL RIG.Copy !req
328. THAT WAS MY DREAM.Copy !req
329. RIGHT.Copy !req
330. AND STARTED RUNNING.Copy !req
331. HOW FAR DID YOU GET?Copy !req
332. I GOT TO THE PIZZA PLACE.Copy !req
333. RIGHT.Copy !req
334. BUT I GOT A JOB THERE.Copy !req
335. THAT'S NOT BAD.Copy !req
336. YEAH, AND UH...
THEY PRETTY MUCH RAISED ME—...Copy !req
337. THE GREEK GUY WHO OWNED IT.Copy !req
338. IS THAT TRUE?Copy !req
339. LIKE 51/2 YEARS LATERCopy !req
340. "THIS IS MY NEW FAMILY"
TO MY OLD FAMILY.Copy !req
341. HOW'D THE FOLKS TAKE IT?Copy !req
342. WE HAD A PARTY.Copy !req
343. YEAH, THAT'S A GOOD STORY.Copy !req
344. ALL RIGHT.
ANYWAY, WHAT WAS I SAYING?Copy !req
345. OH, YEAH, GET OUT OF HERE.Copy !req
346. WHERE IS SHE?Copy !req
347. LOOK, RICHARD,Copy !req
348. IT IS MY COUCH.Copy !req
349. NO, IT'S NOT.Copy !req
350. RICHARD, I BOUGHT IT.Copy !req
351. NO, I BOUGHT IT.Copy !req
352. BUT I PICKED IT OUT, RICHARD.Copy !req
353. NO, I PICKED OUT THE COUCH.Copy !req
354. I PICKED OUT THE RED COUCH.Copy !req
355. STEPHANIE, YOU DIDN'T HAVE
ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS COUCH.Copy !req
356. OKAY, BUT IT WAS MY IDEA
TO GO SHOPPING.Copy !req
357. IT WAS YOUR IDEA TO GO SHOPPING,
BUT...Copy !req
358. EXACTLY, THANK YOU.Copy !req
359. STEPHANIE, YOU'RE NOT GETTING
ANY OF THE COUCH,Copy !req
360. THAT COUCH!Copy !req
361. I AM GETTING HALF THAT COUCH!Copy !req
362. I SHOULD'VE HAD YOU SIGN
A PRENUPTIAL AGREEMENT.Copy !req
363. I SHOULD'VE HAD YOU SIGN
A PRENUPTIAL AGREEMENT!Copy !req
364. YOU'RE TOO EMOTIONAL——
I CAN'T LISTEN TO YOU.Copy !req
365. TO BE EMOTIONAL.Copy !req
366. YOU HAVE MADE ME THIS WAY.Copy !req
367. OH, EVERYTHING'S MY FAULT.Copy !req
368. THAT'S RIGHT.Copy !req
369. I'M SITTING ON IT NOW.Copy !req
370. IT'S MY COUCH.Copy !req
371. I'M LAYING ON IT!Copy !req
372. RICHARD!Copy !req
373. YEAH, IT'S A GOOD COUCH.Copy !req
374. I'VE GOT MY SHOES ON THE COUCH—-
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT?Copy !req
375. THEY'RE THERE, AND YOU'RE GONE.Copy !req
376. THAT'S FOR YOUR COUCH...Copy !req
377. AND YOUR FACIAL STEAMER,Copy !req
378. AND YOUR... YOUR...Copy !req
379. YOUR DEODORIZER,
YOUR WATER PICK...Copy !req
380. AND YOUR MOTHER'S STUPID CHINA!Copy !req
381. LIKE I HAVE A FISH, RIGHT?Copy !req
382. YEAH.Copy !req
383. BRENDON, WHICH IS WHAT YOU NEED.Copy !req
384. IT'S A RESPONSIBILITY TESTER,
RIGHT?Copy !req
385. SURE.Copy !req
386. I'LL TELL YOU, I'VE GONE THROUGH
A MILLION FISH——THEY ALL DIE.Copy !req
387. YEAH.Copy !req
388. BUT YOU GET OVER IT.
YOU GET ANOTHER FISH.Copy !req
389. THERE'S A BILLION FISH FOR SALE
IN STORES EVERYWHERE.Copy !req
390. YEAH, YEAH...Copy !req
391. COACH, I GOT TO ASK YOU A FAVOR.Copy !req
392. YOU'VE GOT A CAR, RIGHT?Copy !req
393. SO, YOU RODE DOWNCopy !req
394. INTO ONCOMING TRAFFIC?Copy !req
395. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING,
BRENDON?Copy !req
396. NOTHING.Copy !req
397. I... WAIT, NO, I REMEMBER.Copy !req
398. IN THE MOVIE TRON.Copy !req
399. BRENDON, BRENDON,
YOU BROKE THE LAW.Copy !req
400. YOU CAUSED AN ACCIDENT.Copy !req
401. I'M AFRAID THAT ACCORDING TO THE
LAW, YOU HAVE TO BE PUNISHED.Copy !req
402. PUNISHED?
ARE YOU SERIOUS?Copy !req
403. YES, I AM.Copy !req
404. I... I THINK THAT'S ABSURD.Copy !req
405. WHAT MY CLIENT IS TRYING TO SAY,
YOUR HONOR...Copy !req
406. WHO IS THIS?Copy !req
407. LOOK, I TOLD YOU YOU COULD COME
BUT YOU COULDN'T TALK, OKAY.Copy !req
408. TRUST ME, I'VE TALKED MYSELF OUT
OF A MILLION THINGS LIKE THIS.Copy !req
409. NO, JUST... DO NOT TALK.Copy !req
410. AND LET ME HANDLE THIS.Copy !req
411. YOU SHUT UP.Copy !req
412. BRENDON, IS THIS YOUR GUARDIAN?Copy !req
413. I DON'T KNOW.Copy !req
414. JON MCGUIRK, YOUR HONOR.Copy !req
415. HAVE I SEEN YOU IN COURT BEFORE?Copy !req
416. YES, SEVERAL TIMES,
BUT THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT, SIR.Copy !req
417. WHAT'S IMPORTANT IS THAT MY
RETARDED NEPHEW IS INNOCENT.Copy !req
418. I'M NOT RETARDED.Copy !req
419. YES, YOU ARE, BRENDON,
NOW, SHUT UP.Copy !req
420. YOUR HONOR, DURING THE DAYCopy !req
421. FROM A SEVERE BOUT OF, UH,Copy !req
422. MENTALLY CHALLENGED... STUFF.Copy !req
423. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?Copy !req
424. MISTRIAL, BRENDON.Copy !req
425. ALSO, YOUR HONOR, BRENDON
WAS SUFFERING FROM DEMENTIA,Copy !req
426. TO HIM FROM ME.Copy !req
427. NOW, WAIT.Copy !req
428. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE I AM,
YOUR HONOR.Copy !req
429. I GOT HIT...
I WAS HIT BY A CAR.Copy !req
430. AH... YOU WERE HIT BY...
RIGHT, SO... SO...Copy !req
431. WHAT ARE YOU TELLING ME HERE?Copy !req
432. WELL, THAT BRENDON WAS HIT BY
A CAR AND THAT IT WAS HIS FAULT.Copy !req
433. YOU'D MAKE A FANTASTIC LAWYER.Copy !req
434. NOW, LISTEN, WE'RE NOT DISPUTING
WHO'S AT FAULT HERE.Copy !req
435. AND POLICE REPORTS.Copy !req
436. WHAT I'M DOING IS DECIDING
AN APPROPRIATE PUNISHMENT.Copy !req
437. THAT'S THE PHASE OF THE TRIAL
WE'RE AT NOW.Copy !req
438. YOUR HONOR, MIGHT I SUGGEST
A SPANKING ON HIS TUSH?Copy !req
439. THAT'S IT——ANOTHER WORD
AND YOU'LL BE HELD IN CONTEMPT!Copy !req
440. THANK YOU, YOUR HONOR.Copy !req
441. OKAY—— ANYWAY, BRENDON,
I'D LIKE TO START OFF BY...Copy !req
442. OH, BRUCE BOXLEITNER.Copy !req
443. WHAT DID I TELL YOU, MISTER?Copy !req
444. I'M JUST SAYINGCopy !req
445. WAS THE GUY IN TRON,
YOUR HONOR.Copy !req
446. OH, RIGHT!
THANK YOU.Copy !req
447. OH, THANK YOU.
NOW I CAN SLEEP.Copy !req
448. GREAT MOVIE.Copy !req
449. PLEASE, BOTH OF YOU!Copy !req
450. AHEAD OF ITS TIME.Copy !req
451. NOW, LISTEN TO ME, BRENDON,Copy !req
452. WHY WHAT YOU DID WAS ILLEGAL.Copy !req
453. OH, MAN!Copy !req
454. YES, YES.Copy !req
455. AND IF IT'S GOOD, MAYBE I'LL LET
YOU OFF THE HOOK.Copy !req
456. THIS COURT IS A MOCKERY.Copy !req
457. AND YOU THERE, MCGUIRK—...Copy !req
458. I'D LIKE YOU
TO WRITE AN ESSAY, TOO.Copy !req
459. WHOA, WHOA, WHOA...Copy !req
460. HELLO, YOUR HONOR.Copy !req
461. AS YOU CAN SEE, I'VE DECIDEDCopy !req
462. IN PLACE OF A WRITTEN ESSAY,
AND TRUST ME,Copy !req
463. AND MY SPELLING IS TERRIBLE.Copy !req
464. ANYWAY, HERE'S MY PUNISHMENT
AND I HOPE YOU LIKE IT.Copy !req
465. I LOVE THIS NEW CAR.Copy !req
466. ME, TOO.Copy !req
467. YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I LOVE?Copy !req
468. WHAT'S THAT?Copy !req
469. YOU.Copy !req
470. SOME CHILDREN.Copy !req
471. YES, LET'S GO KILL CHILDREN.Copy !req
472. YEAH.Copy !req
473. LOOK, THERE'S ONE
RIDING TOWARDS US NOW.Copy !req
474. WELL, PUT YOUR SEAT BELT ON.Copy !req
475. LET'S SEE WHAT THIS BABY CAN DO.Copy !req
476. OH, GOD, I LOVE MY MOTHERCopy !req
477. AND THE JUDICIAL SYSTEM.
I REALLY LOVE ALL THAT STUFF.Copy !req
478. NO!Copy !req
479. YOU SAY YOU'LL PICK UP BRENDON,
AND YOU DON'T.Copy !req
480. THEN YOU BREAK ALL MY PLATES?Copy !req
481. WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?Copy !req
482. I'LL REPLACE THE PLATES, OKAY?Copy !req
483. NO.
YOU KNOW WHAT, HERE'S THE THING.Copy !req
484. WHAT'S GOING ON.Copy !req
485. WHAT? I'M A SCREW—UP, OKAY!Copy !req
486. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR?Copy !req
487. YES... NO... I MEAN NO.Copy !req
488. I'M A SCREW—UP!Copy !req
489. NO.Copy !req
490. I CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT.Copy !req
491. NO.Copy !req
492. I CAN'T BALANCE MY CHECKBOOK.Copy !req
493. NO.Copy !req
494. I SPEND TOO MUCH.Copy !req
495. NO.Copy !req
496. I'M CLUMSY.Copy !req
497. MAYBE.Copy !req
498. I'M STUPID, TOO.
HE EVEN HATES MY LASAGNA.Copy !req
499. WHAT DO YOU MEAN?Copy !req
500. RICHARD?Copy !req
501. YES!Copy !req
502. IS HE STILL ALIVE?Copy !req
503. YEAH.Copy !req
504. HEY, GO IN THE TRUNK, HOT STUFF
AND GO GET DADDY THE BAT.Copy !req
505. SURE THING.Copy !req
506. WE'LL FINISH HIM OFF.Copy !req
507. OW, HEY, OW——NOT AS HARD.Copy !req
508. WELL, I'M TRYING TO KILL YOU.Copy !req
509. OKAY, THAT'S IT!Copy !req
510. OW... OW... OW...Copy !req
511. STEPHANIE, YOU COULD HAVE
TOLD ME ABOUT THE DIVORCE.Copy !req
512. I KNOW, I'M SORRY. I JUST...
I HAD TO GET OUT OF TOWN.Copy !req
513. YOU KNOW, THE STRESS
WAS KILLING ME.Copy !req
514. IT'S HIS FAULT.
IT'S HIS FAULTCopy !req
515. I ACTED LIKE AN ASS AROUND HERE.Copy !req
516. WHO CARES WHOSE FAULT IT WAS?Copy !req
517. LOOK, YOU CAN DOCopy !req
518. AND EVERYBODY'S LIFE
AROUND YOU OR...Copy !req
519. YOU CAN TRY TO MOVE ON.Copy !req
520. BUT RICHARD...Copy !req
521. RICHARD'S A JERK!Copy !req
522. LOOK, YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A
VICTIM AND YOU ARE NOT A VICTIM.Copy !req
523. SAY IT WITH ME.Copy !req
524. I'M NOT A VICTIM.Copy !req
525. NO, WAIT FOR ME, OKAY?Copy !req
526. SAY IT WITH ME.Copy !req
527. OKAY, YOU READY?Copy !req
528. OKAY, I'M READY.Copy !req
529. ONE, TWO, THREE...Copy !req
530. I'M NOT A VICTIM.Copy !req
531. I AM A VICTIM!
NOT THEM!Copy !req
532. THEY WERE ENCASED IN STEEL!Copy !req
533. ENCASEMENT OF FLESH.Copy !req
534. TO WRITE ESSAYS!Copy !req
535. THEY SHOULD BE PUNISHED.
HIT IT, BOYS!Copy !req
536. ALL RIGHT, I'VE SEEN
ENOUGH OF THIS.Copy !req
537. BRENDON, I AM VERY
DISAPPOINTED IN YOU.Copy !req
538. OF THIS COURT.Copy !req
539. YOU REALIZE YOU'LL HAVE
TO BE PUNISHED AGAIN.Copy !req
540. W—W—WAIT A...Copy !req
541. NO, BRENDON.Copy !req
542. YOU WON'T TALK YOURSELF
OUT OF THIS.Copy !req
543. COMMUNITY SERVICE.Copy !req
544. OH, YOU'VE GOT
TO BE KIDDING ME.Copy !req
545. I DON'T THINK HE'S KIDDING.Copy !req
546. ESTIMATE FOR THE CAR ACCIDENT.Copy !req
547. GIVE ME THAT!
HERE, TAKE THIS.Copy !req
548. 900 DOLLARS?
YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING.Copy !req
549. I DON'T THINK THEY'RE KIDDING.Copy !req
550. BRENDON, YOU'LL HAVE
TO HELP ME WITH THIS.Copy !req
551. YES, BRENDON.Copy !req
552. AND I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU
AROUND HERE AGAIN, GOT IT?Copy !req
553. YEAH, I GOT IT.Copy !req
554. LOOK, I'LL DO
THE COMMUNITY SERVICE.Copy !req
555. MOM, I'LL HELP PAY YOU BACK
FOR THE CAR DAMAGE.Copy !req
556. BUT YOUR HONOR,Copy !req
557. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.Copy !req
558. GOOD DAY.Copy !req
559. BRENDON.Copy !req
560. I BELIEVE I SAID "GOOD DAY."Copy !req
561. HEY, WE SHOULD ALLCopy !req
562. INTO TOWN.Copy !req
563. OH, YEAH, YEAH.Copy !req
564. YEAH, IT WOULD BE GREAT.Copy !req
565. IT WOULD BE "MAHVELOUS," MATE!Copy !req
566. "KANGAROO,"BOOMERANG,"
YOU KNOW?Copy !req
567. YEAH, I NEVER DID THAT THING
WITH YOU GUYS, REMEMBER?Copy !req
568. RIGHT.Copy !req
569. WELL, SERIOUSLY, PAULA,
THANK YOU.Copy !req
570. ARE... ARE YOU SURE
YOU DON'T NEED TO STAY LONGER?Copy !req
571. NAH, I REALLY, YOU KNOW,
BETTER GET BACK.Copy !req
572. I'VE GOT A LOT OF STUFF
TO SORT THROUGH.Copy !req
573. WELL, I HOPE EVERYTHING
GOES SMOOTHLY, I REALLY DO.Copy !req
574. THAT'S MY CAB.
THANK YOU AGAIN.Copy !req
575. OKAY.
WHOA, OKAY.Copy !req
576. GOOD—BYE.Copy !req
577. ALL RIGHT,Copy !req
578. STEPHANIE!Copy !req
579. STEPHANIE, YOU FORGOT YOUR,
UH...Copy !req
580. THE WHOLE TIME.Copy !req
581. YEAH.Copy !req
582. RIGHT.Copy !req
583. SAMMY?
GUESS WHO'S HOME.Copy !req
584. DADDY'S HOME.Copy !req
585. WHO'S HUNGRY, HUH?Copy !req
586. I AM.Copy !req
587. I'M GOING TO EAT IN FRONT OF YOU
WHILE YOU JUST LIE... LIE THERE.Copy !req
588. SAMMY?
LITTLE GUY?Copy !req
589. SAMMY, TALK TO ME.Copy !req
590. YOU'RE JUST SLEEPING, RIGHT?Copy !req
591. WAKE UP.Copy !req
592. SAMMY, WAKE UP!Copy !req
593. OH, MY GOD, SAMMY,
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH YOU?Copy !req
594. IN THE BACKYARD OR, UM...Copy !req
595. I DON'T KNOW, WHAT DO YOU DO
WITH A DEAD FISH?Copy !req
596. MAYBE I'LL PUT YOUCopy !req
597. AND I'LL DRIVE YOU OUT TO THE...Copy !req
598. HOLD ON, I'M COMING.Copy !req
599. JON MCQUIRK?Copy !req
600. UH... NO, McQUIRK
LIVES NEXT DOOR.Copy !req
601. I'M JON McGUIRK.Copy !req
602. WHO WANTS TO KNOW?
YOU?Copy !req
603. I'M AFRAID YOU HAVE
TO COME WITH ME.Copy !req
604. FOR WHAT?Copy !req
605. MURDER ONE.Copy !req
606. HUH?Copy !req
607. OH, HOLD ON.Copy !req
608. APPARENTLY, YOU FAILED TO TURN
EARLIER TODAY.Copy !req
609. WHOA, WHOA, WAIT, WAIT!
NO, I THOUGHT HE WAS KIDDING.Copy !req
610. AFRAID NOT, SIR.Copy !req
611. OH, MY GOD, THIS ISN'T MY DAY.Copy !req
612. TO REMAIN SILENT.Copy !req
613. BE USED AGAINST YOU...Copy !req
614. OH, NO, NO! NO! SAMMY!Copy !req