1. THIS IS DISGUSTING.Copy !req
2. UH—OH, IT LOOKS LIKE JASON
HAS THE LICE.Copy !req
3. I THINK THE LICE HAVE JASON.Copy !req
4. LICE IS DISGUSTING.Copy !req
5. OH, YUCK!Copy !req
6. WHAT EXACTLY ARE LICE?Copy !req
7. THEY'RE LITTLE BUGS
THAT LIVE IN YOUR HAIR.Copy !req
8. HOW DO YOU GET RID OF THEM?Copy !req
9. WELL, YOU CAN PUT
THIS POWDER ON YOUR HEADCopy !req
10. OR YOU CAN USE THIS SPECIAL
SHAMPOO AND DROWN THEM.Copy !req
11. DROWN THEM?
IS THAT ETHICAL?Copy !req
12. THEY'RE PARASITES, BRENDON;Copy !req
13. THEY'RE NOT SUPPOSED
TO BE THERE.Copy !req
14. OH, WELL.Copy !req
15. THUMBS UP, GUYS,
I'VE GOT THE LICE.Copy !req
16. EWW!Copy !req
17. YOU'RE UP, MELISSA.Copy !req
18. AND I'LL SEE YOU TWO LATER.Copy !req
19. I HAVE TO GET HOME.Copy !req
20. WISH ME LUCK, BRENDON.Copy !req
21. GOOD LUCK.Copy !req
22. HEY, JASON, WAIT.Copy !req
23. I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T BE
STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO YOUCopy !req
24. BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T
HAVE THE LICECopy !req
25. YOU'LL PROBABLY GET IT FROM ME.Copy !req
26. THAT'S FINE WITH ME, BUT WAIT.Copy !req
27. YOU GET TO GO HOME
BECAUSE OF THE LICE?Copy !req
28. YES, THE NURSE SAYS I HAVE
SEVERAL DIFFERENT SPECIESCopy !req
29. OF LICE IN MY HEAD.Copy !req
30. RIGHT.Copy !req
31. SHE SAID THEY PRACTICALLY
FORM THEIR OWN ECOSYSTEM.Copy !req
32. RIGHT, YEAH, BUT YOU
GET TO GO HOME?Copy !req
33. BRENDON, I HAVE AN ECOSYSTEM
LIVING IN MY HEAD——YES.Copy !req
34. SO BYE—BYE.Copy !req
35. OH, GROSS.Copy !req
36. I'M SORRY, HONEY.Copy !req
37. OH, THROW UP!Copy !req
38. WHAT? I DON'T HAVE LICE, DO I?Copy !req
39. PRINCESS DARLING, YOU HAVE LIKE
A MILLION LICE ON YOUR HEAD.Copy !req
40. NO... NO... NO!Copy !req
41. I'M SORRY, ANGEL, I'M SORRY.Copy !req
42. GO HOME NOW.Copy !req
43. I DON'T WANT THE LICE.Copy !req
44. NEXT, PLEASE.
WHO'S NEXT?Copy !req
45. HOW DO YOU DO?Copy !req
46. GOOD, GOOD, WHY DON'T YOU HOP UP
ON THE CHAIR, HERE, HONEY.Copy !req
47. YES.Copy !req
48. ANYTHING MOVING AROUND IN THERE?Copy !req
49. I DON'T SEE MUCH
OF ANYTHING REALLY.Copy !req
50. YOU LOOK GOOD.Copy !req
51. DIDN'T YOU EVEN LOOK?Copy !req
52. UM... YES, I DID.Copy !req
53. BECAUSE THAT DIDN'T TAKE
ANY TIME AT ALL.Copy !req
54. I NEED THE NEXT ONE,
PLEASE, NEXT, YES.Copy !req
55. I JUST ACCIDENTALLY
DROPPED THIS.Copy !req
56. WHY DON'T YOU, UH...Copy !req
57. CAN I GET ANOTHER CHECK?Copy !req
58. YOU NEED YOUR MOM TO COME PICK
YOU UP, YOU'RE CONFIRMED.Copy !req
59. BUT I'M... I ALSO
LIKE THE CHECK.Copy !req
60. OKAY, I NEED TO SEE...Copy !req
61. I THINK I WAS MISDIAGNOSED.Copy !req
62. CAN I HAVE THEIR PASSES
TO GO HOME?Copy !req
63. NEXT PLEASE.Copy !req
64. YOU LUCKY SONS OF...Copy !req
65. BRENDON, LISTEN TO THIS.Copy !req
66. IT'S A SPEECH FOR THE ASSEMBLY
THAT'S COMING UP.Copy !req
67. OKAY.Copy !req
68. SEE BRENDON, I NEED A STRONG
TEAM NEXT SEASON, YOU KNOW,Copy !req
69. INSTEAD OF WHAT I HAVE,
WHICH IS YOUCopy !req
70. AND A DOZEN OTHER KIDS WHO HATE
SOCCER AND CAN'T PLAY... AT ALL.Copy !req
71. I'M ALL EARS.Copy !req
72. LET'S SEE HERE...Copy !req
73. ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE,
QUIET DOWN, LISTEN UP.Copy !req
74. I'M NOT HERE TO JOKE AROUND.Copy !req
75. THE NAME'S McGUIRK.
SOCCER'S MY GAME.Copy !req
76. THAT COULD BE REWRITTEN,
BRENDON, THAT PART RIGHT THERE.Copy !req
77. ANYWAY... HEY, WHAT DO YOU
KIDS THINK, I'M JOKING HERE?Copy !req
78. I SAID SHUT UP, ALL RIGHT?Copy !req
79. HOW WOULD EVERYBODY LIKE TO GO
TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE?Copy !req
80. OKAY, YOU'RE STARTING OUT
JUST A LITTLE DEFENSIVE.Copy !req
81. A LITTLE TOO NEGATIVE
ON THE, UH...Copy !req
82. I JUST FEEL LIKE YOU'RE GOING
TO RISK ALIENATING THE AUDIENCE.Copy !req
83. IT'S JUST THAT I READ A BOOK
THAT SAID WRITE WHAT YOU KNOW.Copy !req
84. RIGHT.Copy !req
85. AND THEN IT ALSO SAID WRITE
HOW YOU NORMALLY SPEAK.Copy !req
86. I'LL TELL YOU, IT SOUNDS
VERY NATURAL BUT, YOU KNOW,Copy !req
87. YOU WANT NEW PLAYERS.Copy !req
88. THIS COULD SCARE THEM OFF
A LITTLE BIT.Copy !req
89. YOU KNOW, THE CATCH MORE FLIES
WITH HONEY THING, YOU KNOW.Copy !req
90. NO, WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?Copy !req
91. JUST START A LITTLE,
POSSIBLY NICER...Copy !req
92. ON AN UP NOTE, YEAH.Copy !req
93. WELL, I FELT I DID START
ON AN UP NOTE.Copy !req
94. I SAID QUIET DOWN.Copy !req
95. AND I HAD A LOT OF ENERGY
WHEN I SAID THAT, BRENDON.Copy !req
96. YEAH, THE ENERGY'S
DEFINITELY THERE...Copy !req
97. COACH?Copy !req
98. SORRY I MISSED PRACTICE
THE OTHER DAY.Copy !req
99. I HAVE A NOTE FROM THE NURSE.Copy !req
100. LET ME SEE THAT.
WHAT ARE YOU, SICK?Copy !req
101. LICE.Copy !req
102. DID YOU SAY YES?Copy !req
103. LICE.Copy !req
104. I CAN'T HEAR YOU, MELISSA.Copy !req
105. DID YOU SAY YES?Copy !req
106. SHE HAD LICE, COACH.Copy !req
107. YEAH.Copy !req
108. OH, SHE HAD LICE——
YOU HAVE LICE?Copy !req
109. THOSE LITTLE PARASITICAL BUGS...Copy !req
110. YES.Copy !req
111. SHUCKS, I FORGOT.Copy !req
112. COACH, I THINK
I'VE GOT LICE, TOO.Copy !req
113. AND I BETTER GO TO THE NURSE.Copy !req
114. NURSE? I THOUGHT SHE QUIT.Copy !req
115. NO, THE NEW NURSE, COACH.Copy !req
116. SHE'S GOOD AND SHE'S WAY
PRETTIER THAN MRS. BRYERMAN.Copy !req
117. REALLY?Copy !req
118. WELL, MRS. BRYERMAN
WAS NOT PRETTY.Copy !req
119. WE ALL AGREE ON THAT, RIGHT?Copy !req
120. YES.Copy !req
121. PERHAPS I SHOULD BRING
THAT NOTE,Copy !req
122. MELISSA TO HER, CHECK IT OUT.Copy !req
123. OKAY.Copy !req
124. MAYBE IF YOU HAD THE LICE
MAYBE THE COACHCopy !req
125. HAS A LITTLE CASE
OF THE LICE, TOO.Copy !req
126. I MEAN, YOU NEVER KNOW.Copy !req
127. JUMPING BUGS, RIGHT?Copy !req
128. SO A BUG COULD HAVE JUST
JUMPED ON ME RIGHT NOW...Copy !req
129. I DON'T HAVE IT ANYMORE.Copy !req
130. BUT, HOW DO YOU KNOW?Copy !req
131. OKAY, WHO KNOWS WHAT BIOLOGY IS?Copy !req
132. IS THAT A BOOK
ABOUT SOMEONE'S LIFE?Copy !req
133. YES, MELISSA, VERY GOOD.Copy !req
134. NO, WAIT—— IT'S NOT A BOOK
ABOUT SOMEONE'S LIFE.Copy !req
135. THAT'S A "BIOGRAPHY."Copy !req
136. BIOLOGY IS THE STUDY
OF YOUR BODY.Copy !req
137. WELL, AND OTHER
LIVING THINGS, TOO.Copy !req
138. FOR EXAMPLE, WITH US
THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGCopy !req
139. TO LEARN ABOUT US IS THE HEART.Copy !req
140. A LOT OF PEOPLE THINK, YOU KNOW,
THE HEART IS WHERE THE HEART IS.Copy !req
141. IT IS, IT'S EXACTLY THERE.Copy !req
142. AND ANYWAY...Copy !req
143. OH, JEEZ.Copy !req
144. WHAT'S THE MATTER?Copy !req
145. OH, THE TUMMY.Copy !req
146. ARE YOU OKAY?Copy !req
147. HO! WHOO! OW!Copy !req
148. EVERYBODY, HAVE A NICE DAY.Copy !req
149. I'M GOING TO THE NURSE,
AND I'M GOING HOME.Copy !req
150. GOOD LUCK.Copy !req
151. STRETCH THEM ACROSS AMERICA
AND BE IN ALL THREE TIME ZONES.Copy !req
152. EXCUSE ME, MR. LYNCH... OW!Copy !req
153. BRENDON, DO YOU HAVE
A QUESTION ABOUT BIOLOGY?Copy !req
154. UH... YEAH.Copy !req
155. OH, BOY.Copy !req
156. WHAT DOES IT MEAN
WHEN YOUR STOMACH FEELSCopy !req
157. LIKE IT'S GOING TO EXPLODE?Copy !req
158. HMM?Copy !req
159. BECAUSE I...Copy !req
160. WELL, YOU SHOULD GO TO THE NURSE
AND HAVE THIS CHECKED OUT.Copy !req
161. WELL, HERE, TAKE THE PASS
BUT I WANT YOU TO TELL USCopy !req
162. WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU THERE
AS A STUDY IN——CLASS?——BIOLOGY.Copy !req
163. EVERYBODY?Copy !req
164. BIOLOGY.Copy !req
165. THAT'S VERY GOOD.Copy !req
166. AND THAT'S VERY GOOD
TO SPEAK IN UNISON.Copy !req
167. WHAT ARE WE SPEAKING IN,
CLASS?——EVERYBODY?Copy !req
168. UNISON.Copy !req
169. RIGHT.Copy !req
170. OKAY, BRENDON, TAKE OFF.Copy !req
171. OKAY, SWEETIE, WHY DON'T YOU
HOP OFF THE TABLE FOR ME.Copy !req
172. UM... "SWEETIE"?Copy !req
173. WHAT?Copy !req
174. DID YOU JUST CALL ME SWEETIE?Copy !req
175. OH, I GUESS I DID.Copy !req
176. YEAH, YOU DEFINITELY DID.Copy !req
177. LISTEN, JASON, I WANT YOU
TO TRY WASHING MORE OFTEN.Copy !req
178. THAT'S GOING TO KEEP ALL OF YOUR
OPEN SORES AND SCRATCHESCopy !req
179. FROM GETTING INFECTED.Copy !req
180. UH... NURSE KIRKMAN,
THAT PERFUME YOU'RE WEARINGCopy !req
181. IS INTOXICATING.Copy !req
182. OH, THAT'S VERY NICE OF YOU.Copy !req
183. OH... OH, MY G—-
YOU TOUCHED MY ARM.Copy !req
184. ARE YOU OKAY?Copy !req
185. YES, NURSE KIRKMAN.Copy !req
186. LOOK, I WANT YOU TO START
TAKING BETTER CARE OF YOURSELF.Copy !req
187. YOU DO?Copy !req
188. YES, BECAUSE YOU, SWEETHEART ARE
A BREEDING GROUND FOR BACTERIA.Copy !req
189. SORRY.Copy !req
190. THAT'S... THAT'S FINE.Copy !req
191. HOW EMBARRASSING.Copy !req
192. NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF.Copy !req
193. LOOK, NURSE KIRKMAN,
LET'S HAVE A TALK.Copy !req
194. OKAY.Copy !req
195. LET ME FIRST SAY I THINK...Copy !req
196. HELLO.
HEY, JASON.Copy !req
197. BRENDON, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?Copy !req
198. UM... WHY DON'T YOU GO?Copy !req
199. I'M SICK.Copy !req
200. OKAY, SO GO HOME.Copy !req
201. GET WELL QUICK SOON,
BRENDON——BYE.Copy !req
202. OKAY, FINE.
NURSE, GOOD DAY.Copy !req
203. HMM... THAT WAS ABRUPT.Copy !req
204. I SEE YOU HAVE A PASS.Copy !req
205. OH, RIGHT, OF COURSE.Copy !req
206. MY STOMACH IS BLEEDING! OW!Copy !req
207. YOU'RE EXPERIENCING PAIN?Copy !req
208. ARE YOU JOKING?Copy !req
209. PAIN ISN'T A DESCRIPTIVE
ENOUGH WORDCopy !req
210. FOR WHAT'S GOING ON DOWN HERE.Copy !req
211. IT'S... MORE LIKE A SEVERE...
PAIN.Copy !req
212. OKAY, MIND IF I TAKE
YOUR TEMPERATURE?Copy !req
213. IF YOU HAVE TO.Copy !req
214. I MEAN, IF YOU CAN'T
TAKE MY WORD.Copy !req
215. 98.6—— YOU'RE FINE, BRENDON.Copy !req
216. I'LL TELL YOU, I'VE SEEN
A LOT OF FAKERS IN MY TIME.Copy !req
217. I'M NOT FAKING.Copy !req
218. YES, YOU ARE.Copy !req
219. HELLO. HI, I'M COACH McGUIRK.Copy !req
220. HELLO.Copy !req
221. HEY, COACH.Copy !req
222. BRENDON, WHAT ARE YOU, SICK?Copy !req
223. NO.Copy !req
224. YES.Copy !req
225. NO.Copy !req
226. I FIGURED I'D DROP BY INTRODUCE
MYSELF TO... TO YOU.Copy !req
227. BRENDON, I KNOW YOU,
SO GET OUT.Copy !req
228. AND LIKE I SAID,
I'M COACH McGUIRKCopy !req
229. AND YOU ARE THE NEW NURSE,
AM I RIGHT?Copy !req
230. THAT'S RIGHT.Copy !req
231. THUS THE OUTFIT.Copy !req
232. I GUESS I JUST WANTED
TO MEET YOUCopy !req
233. BECAUSE SOCCER'S A ROUGH GAME,
A LOT OF CUTS AND BRUISES.Copy !req
234. SO I'LL BE SENDING
A LOT OF BUSINESS YOUR WAY.Copy !req
235. WELL, HOPEFULLY, I'LL SEND THEM
RIGHT BACK OUT AT YOU.Copy !req
236. I THINK WE ALREADY HAVE
A GREAT RAPPORT.Copy !req
237. I THINK I'M ACTUALLY SICK NOW.Copy !req
238. SO, YOU KNOW, JEN—-
I CAN CALL YOU JEN, RIGHT?Copy !req
239. YEAH.Copy !req
240. WE'RE AT A BAR, I DON'T WANT
TO CALL YOU "NURSE."Copy !req
241. RIGHT, I ACTUALLY AM A PERSON
WHEN I LEAVE SCHOOL, SO...Copy !req
242. YEAH, AND YOU KNOW WHAT?Copy !req
243. I'M—— WELL, I'M NOT,
BUT I GET YOUR POINT.Copy !req
244. LISTEN, WHAT CAN I GET YOU?Copy !req
245. YOU WANT A BEER OR DO YOU WANT
A...?Copy !req
246. NO, JUST A SODA.Copy !req
247. SHOT OF HARD LIQUOR?Copy !req
248. YOU WANT LIKE A...?Copy !req
249. UH, NO, JUST A SODA.Copy !req
250. ALL RIGHT, WHATEVER.Copy !req
251. LISTEN, UH... HERE... CHEERS!Copy !req
252. LET ME WELCOME YOU TO...
TO THE NEIGHBORHOOD.Copy !req
253. YEAH, I CERTAINLY
APPRECIATE THIS.Copy !req
254. YEAH.Copy !req
255. AND LET'S DO THIS.Copy !req
256. READY?Copy !req
257. ACTION.Copy !req
258. UH... PATIENT IS SUFFERING FROM
A HEMATOMA IN THE LEFT, UH...Copy !req
259. RIGHT VENTRICLE... MEDICAL.Copy !req
260. ACCORDING TO THIS,
THE EPIGLOTTIS IS SUBMERGEDCopy !req
261. IN THE AORTIC CHAMBERAL
ESOPHOGUSAL CHAMBER.Copy !req
262. WE'LL HAVE TO OPERATE.Copy !req
263. HOW ARE YOU FEELING?Copy !req
264. HORRIBLE.Copy !req
265. HORRIBLE.Copy !req
266. OKAY, THEN IT'S SETTLED—-
WE OPERATE.Copy !req
267. THE LONGER YOU WAIT,
THE WORSE CHANCES I HAVE.Copy !req
268. COULD YOU ANESTHETIZE HER?Copy !req
269. GLADLY—— HOW MUCH
SHOULD I GIVE HER, DOCTOR?Copy !req
270. I... DON'T KNOW.
A MILLION? TWO MILLION?Copy !req
271. I... TWO MILLION?
I CAN'T AFFORD THAT.Copy !req
272. MILLION AND A HALF.Copy !req
273. MILLION AND A HALF'S WORTH
OF ANESTHESIA COMING UP.Copy !req
274. OH, GREAT.
SHE'S DEAD... OOPS!Copy !req
275. NICE JOB, DOCTOR.Copy !req
276. WELL, TIME OF DEATH IS 7:30.Copy !req
277. I'M HUNGRY—— LET'S EAT.Copy !req
278. NO, NO, NOT ON MY SHIFT.Copy !req
279. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.Copy !req
280. WE CAN SAVE HER.Copy !req
281. INJECT HER WITH, UM...Copy !req
282. SYRINGE.Copy !req
283. THE SYRINGE?Copy !req
284. RIGHT—— BUT PUT SOMETHING
INSIDE IT.Copy !req
285. FIVE BILLION CCs OF ADRENALINE.Copy !req
286. UM...Copy !req
287. DON'T YOU THINK THAT'S
A LITTLE STEEP, SIR... DOCTOR?Copy !req
288. I'M THE DOCTOR.Copy !req
289. OKAY.Copy !req
290. I'M ALIVE!Copy !req
291. OH, GOOD.Copy !req
292. WE'LL BILL YOU LATER.Copy !req
293. SO I SAID, "YOU WANT IT CLEAN?
"HUH? YOU WANT IT CLEAN?Copy !req
294. "YOU CLEAN IT!Copy !req
295. "CLEAN IT YOURSELF!Copy !req
296. CLEAN IT YOURSELF!"Copy !req
297. AND I HAVE NOT SEEN MY MOTHER
SINCE THAT POINT.Copy !req
298. UM... WOW!Copy !req
299. AND YOU KNOW WHAT DARWIN SAID—...Copy !req
300. THAT "WE" ——
AND I'M TALKING ABOUT MEN—...Copy !req
301. WE ARE TRYING
TO DATE OUR MOTHERS.Copy !req
302. I'VE HEARD THAT...Copy !req
303. IT GOT ME THINKING—— AM I TRYING
TO DATE MY MOTHER?Copy !req
304. YOU KNOW, I MEAN, MY... MY
MOTHER CAN'T STAND ME.Copy !req
305. I CAN'T STAND MY MOTHER AND,
UH...Copy !req
306. THAT RELATIONSHIP
HAS BEEN RELIVING ITSELFCopy !req
307. THROUGH OTHER WOMEN
FOR MY WHOLE LIFE.Copy !req
308. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?Copy !req
309. RIGHT... NO... UM...Copy !req
310. BUT ANYWAY, YOU'RE PRETTY
LIKE MY MOTHER IS.Copy !req
311. THIS IS FUNNY.Copy !req
312. ANYBODY CAN BECOME
A SOCCER COACH.Copy !req
313. LIKE THEY DON'T REGULATE.Copy !req
314. YOU HAVE TO GET
LIKE A DEGREE, RIGHT?Copy !req
315. I DO HAVE...Copy !req
316. AND SO YOU'RE QUALIFIED.Copy !req
317. VERY.Copy !req
318. YEAH, I'M NOT.Copy !req
319. YEAH.Copy !req
320. WHICH IS AMAZING THAT YOU COULD
BECOME A COACH OF A SPORTCopy !req
321. THAT YOU DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT.Copy !req
322. YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO PLAY,
YOU'RE NOT GOOD WITH KIDS...Copy !req
323. YEAH.Copy !req
324. BUT I HAVE HAD THE JOB
FOR THREE YEARS.Copy !req
325. YEAH, YOU, UH...Copy !req
326. YOU'D THINK THEY'D CHECK UP
AND EVALUATE, BUT THEY DON'T.Copy !req
327. ARE YOU TIRED?Copy !req
328. A LITTLE BIT, YEAH.Copy !req
329. YEAH, WELL, WE CAN STAY, RIGHT?Copy !req
330. I MEAN, YOU'RE GOING
TO HANG IT IN THERE RIGHT.Copy !req
331. YOU'RE GOING TO...Copy !req
332. WE'RE GOING TO...Copy !req
333. WE'RE IN THIS FOR THE LONG HAUL.Copy !req
334. I MIGHT JUST FINISH UP
THIS SODA AND THEN, UM...Copy !req
335. RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT.
ME, TOO, ME, TOO.Copy !req
336. I'M GOING TO DO THAT, TOO.Copy !req
337. I'LL FINISH MY DRINK
AND THEN WE'LL, UH...Copy !req
338. I'LL TAKE YOU HOME
OR SOMETHING.Copy !req
339. LET ME...Copy !req
340. LET ME GIVE YOU A RIDE.Copy !req
341. YOU SHOULDN'T DRIVE.Copy !req
342. MM—MM... NO, I SHOULD DRIVE...Copy !req
343. I SHOULD DRIVE.Copy !req
344. YOU'RE A LITTLE...Copy !req
345. WOW, YOU'RE RIGHT——
I'VE GOT THE RUBBER LEGS.Copy !req
346. SO MAYBE YOU'LL DRIVE...Copy !req
347. OKAY.Copy !req
348. REMEMBER WHEN I WAS
YELLING ABOUT MY MOTHER?Copy !req
349. UH... YEAH, I THINK
EVERYONE HERE REMEMBERS.Copy !req
350. WAS THAT WEIRD?Copy !req
351. WELL, THIS IS, UH... THIS IS ME.Copy !req
352. YEAH, WELL, UH, GET SOME REST.Copy !req
353. AND THIS IS ME.Copy !req
354. HEY, UM, I HOPE THAT YOU
HAD A NICE TIME TONIGHT.Copy !req
355. 'CAUSE I CERTAINLY DID.Copy !req
356. YOU'RE VERY NICE.Copy !req
357. YOU DON'T SAY MUCH...Copy !req
358. YEAH.Copy !req
359. WHICH IS FINE.Copy !req
360. I DON'T LIKE TALKERS.Copy !req
361. OH... THANKS FOR THE WELCOME.Copy !req
362. UM, SO YOU SHOULD COME IN.Copy !req
363. LISTEN, UM...Copy !req
364. WELL, THE THING IS, I...Copy !req
365. I COULD JUST...Copy !req
366. BOUGHT THIS NEW
COFFEE GRINDER.Copy !req
367. OKAY.Copy !req
368. HAVE YOU HEARD OF ARABICA?Copy !req
369. UH, NEVER.Copy !req
370. IT'S A TYPE OF COFFEE WHICH
APPARENTLY IS AMAZING.Copy !req
371. OH, UH, I DON'T DRINK...Copy !req
372. AND, UM, AND IT SUPPOSEDLY
HAS LIKE ALMOSTCopy !req
373. HALLUCINOGENIC EFFECTS.Copy !req
374. DEFINITELY WOULDN'T BE...Copy !req
375. NOW, I KNOW YOU'RE A NURSE
AND YOU PROBABLY DON'T GETCopy !req
376. INTO THAT KIND OF STUFF,
BUT I DO.Copy !req
377. AND I COULD DRINK THE COFFEE
AND HALLUCINATECopy !req
378. AND YOU COULD WATCH ME.Copy !req
379. AND, I COULD PUT ON, I HAVE A,
I HAVE A REGGAE
ALBUM COLLECTION.Copy !req
380. HEY, LISTEN, I'M GOING TO GO.Copy !req
381. YOU DON'T WANT TO COME IN AND...Copy !req
382. I, I'LL SEE YOU
AT SCHOOL TOMORROW.Copy !req
383. THANKS THOUGH, THANKS.Copy !req
384. WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, EASY.Copy !req
385. I DON'T WANT YOU TO...Copy !req
386. IT'S A LITTLE FLABBY
AROUND THE MID—SECTION.Copy !req
387. IT'S EMBARRASSING.Copy !req
388. I'M NOT A YOUNG MAN ANYMORE
LIKE I USED TO BE.Copy !req
389. IT WAS FIRM A COUPLE
OF YEARS AGO.Copy !req
390. OKAY I'D BETTER...Copy !req
391. NOW MY METABOLISM CHANGED.
I COULDN'T STOP THAT.Copy !req
392. I'D BETTER GET GOING.Copy !req
393. YOU GET FAT, LADY.
YOU GET FAT.Copy !req
394. YEP.Copy !req
395. THAT'S WHAT YOU DO.Copy !req
396. ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT
TO COME IN RIGHT NOW?Copy !req
397. NO.Copy !req
398. SOMEBODY'S, UH... THIRSTY TODAY.Copy !req
399. I'M NOT THIRSTY, LYNCH,
I'M... I'M DEHYDRATED.Copy !req
400. HMM... DEHYDRATED.Copy !req
401. THERE'S A BIG DIFFERENCE.Copy !req
402. YOU KNOW, I HAVE TO TELL YOU
THIS BUT I NOTICEDCopy !req
403. THAT YOU AND THE NURSE LEFT
TOGETHER AFTER SCHOOL YESTERDAY.Copy !req
404. THAT'S RIGHT, WE DID, YES.Copy !req
405. YOU TWO, UH... HAVE FUN?Copy !req
406. YEAH, WE HAD FUN,
WE HAD FUN, I GUESS.Copy !req
407. WHAT DID YOU GUYS DO?Copy !req
408. YOU ASK A LOT OF QUESTIONS,
LYNCH, HUH?Copy !req
409. WHAT, ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH HER?Copy !req
410. NO, NO.Copy !req
411. SHE'S A VERY NICE WOMAN, THOUGH.Copy !req
412. WELL, WE DID, SO YOU SAW.
SO BIG DEAL, SO WHAT OF IT?Copy !req
413. WELL, WE HAVE A COMMUNITY HERE
AND I SAW SOMETHING HAPPENINGCopy !req
414. IN THE COMMUNITY AND I THOUGHT
I'D ASK YOU ABOUT IT.Copy !req
415. LOOK, LYNCH, I DON'T REMEMBER
WHAT HAPPENED, ALL RIGHTCopy !req
416. BUT I THINK IT WAS GOOD.Copy !req
417. I THINK IT WENT WELL.Copy !req
418. MM—HMM.Copy !req
419. I'LL TELL YOU THIS—...Copy !req
420. I THINK HER AND I WILL BE SEEING
EACH OTHER AGAIN, SOON.Copy !req
421. MM—HMM.Copy !req
422. IT ALSO MEANS HANDS OFF.Copy !req
423. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?Copy !req
424. HANDS OFF.Copy !req
425. YEAH.Copy !req
426. I'M GOING TO LAY IT ON THE LINE
WITH YOU RIGHT NOW, LYNCH,Copy !req
427. ALL RIGHT?Copy !req
428. TYPICALLY, I WOULDN'T DO THIS
BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE YOUCopy !req
429. AND I DON'T LIKE TALKING TO YOU
BUT THE POINT IS, HERE,Copy !req
430. ME AND NURSE KIRKMAN
ARE TOGETHER.Copy !req
431. WE'RE AN ITEM.Copy !req
432. MM—HMM.Copy !req
433. YOU'RE A SMART GUY, RIGHT?
YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO.Copy !req
434. YOU KNOW WHAT'S RIGHT.
YOU KEEP AWAY.Copy !req
435. HMM.Copy !req
436. OH, THIS IS REVOLTING.Copy !req
437. I HAD NO IDEA HOW MANY DISEASES
THERE WERE.Copy !req
438. TELL ME ABOUT IT.Copy !req
439. LIKE THIS—— UH, SCURVY.Copy !req
440. I THINK I MIGHT SERIOUSLY
HAVE THAT.Copy !req
441. BRENDON, YOU DON'T HAVE SCURVY.Copy !req
442. ONLY PIRATES GET SCURVY.Copy !req
443. THE PIRATES AND ME.Copy !req
444. WAIT. WRITE THAT DOWN.Copy !req
445. THAT'S A GOOD MOVIE TITLE.Copy !req
446. HMM.Copy !req
447. TAKE THIS BOOK AWAY FROM ME.Copy !req
448. I CAN'T LOOK AT IT ANYMORE.Copy !req
449. I HAVE EVERY DISEASE IN HERE.Copy !req
450. ACTUALLY, YOU DO LOOK A LITTLE
MORE PASTY THAN USUAL.Copy !req
451. YEAH, BRENDON,
AND YOUR EYES LOOK GLASSY.Copy !req
452. I FEEL PASTY AND GLASSY.Copy !req
453. I'M GOING TO LIE DOWN.Copy !req
454. JASON, WHAT ARE YOU DRAWING?Copy !req
455. UM... UM... IT'S A PICTURE
OF ME AND THE NURSE.Copy !req
456. I'VE GOT TO TELL HER
HOW I FEEL BUT... I MEAN,Copy !req
457. WHAT IF SHE DOESN'T LIKE ME
AND THEN I GET BURNED?Copy !req
458. JASON, THERE ARE WAYS TO TELL
IF A WOMAN LIKES YOU.Copy !req
459. PLEASE, THERE'S NO ACTUAL WAY
TO TELL...Copy !req
460. BRENDON, STOP.
I NEED TOO HEAR THIS.Copy !req
461. DOES SHE CALL YOU CUTE NAMES?Copy !req
462. OH, MY GOD, SHE DOES.Copy !req
463. DOES SHE LAUGH AT YOUR JOKES?Copy !req
464. UH... YEAH, SHE DOES.Copy !req
465. DOES IT SEEM LIKE SHE TRIES
TO FIND WAYS TO TOUCH YOUCopy !req
466. WHILE SHE'S TALKING TO YOU?Copy !req
467. WHEN SHE'S EXAMINING ME,
SHE TOUCHES MECopy !req
468. BUT SHE HAS A GLOVE ON.Copy !req
469. HMM... WELL, THEN,
I THINK SHE LIKES YOU.Copy !req
470. REALLY?Copy !req
471. WELL, UM, WHAT DO I DO?Copy !req
472. WELL, YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING
BEFORE SHE LOSES INTERESTCopy !req
473. 'CAUSE WOMEN ARE FICKLE.Copy !req
474. WHAT'S, UM, FICKLE?Copy !req
475. IT MEANS THEY LOSE INTEREST
EASILY.Copy !req
476. OH, MAYBE I SHOULD, UH,
BUY HER SOMETHING—-Copy !req
477. A GIFT.Copy !req
478. THAT'S ALWAYS GOOD.Copy !req
479. SOMETHING A NURSE WOULD WANT,
LIKE, UM...Copy !req
480. A THERMOMETER?Copy !req
481. HMM.Copy !req
482. AND YOU COULD WRITE
A CUTE NOTE LIKECopy !req
483. "YOU GET MY
TEMPERATURE RISING,"Copy !req
484. OR SOMETHING.Copy !req
485. THAT'S CLEVER... KIND OF.Copy !req
486. MORNING.Copy !req
487. HEY, GOOD COFFEE.Copy !req
488. WHY, THANK YOU.Copy !req
489. DID YOU MAKE IT?Copy !req
490. YES, I... NO.Copy !req
491. BUT I HELPED CHANGE
THE, UH, BOTTLECopy !req
492. FOR THE WATER—COOLER THING,
UH...Copy !req
493. OH, OKAY.Copy !req
494. SO, I, UH... I UNDERSTAND
THERE'S, UH...Copy !req
495. YOU AND, UH, YOU AND McGUIRK
ARE, UH,Copy !req
496. YOU KNOW SEEING EACH OTHER,
RIGHT?Copy !req
497. WHAT? NO, NO.Copy !req
498. WELL, THAT'S, UH...Copy !req
499. THAT'S THE WAY HE PUTS IT.Copy !req
500. GO... NO, NOT AT ALL.Copy !req
501. LYNCH, LET ME TELL YOU,
THE OTHER NIGHTCopy !req
502. WHEN WE WENT OUT I HAD TO DRIVE
HIM HOME BECAUSE HE WAS SO DRUNKCopy !req
503. AND HE PASSED OUTCopy !req
504. AND I HAD TO PUSH HIM
OUT OF THE CAR.Copy !req
505. YEAH.Copy !req
506. UH, WILD!Copy !req
507. WELL... HELLO.Copy !req
508. HI, THERE.Copy !req
509. HI.Copy !req
510. UH, CAN I TALK TO YOU
FOR A SECOND?Copy !req
511. OKAY.Copy !req
512. I JUST, UM, WANTED TO THANK YOU
FOR THE OTHER NIGHT.Copy !req
513. AND, I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO
DOING THAT AGAIN.Copy !req
514. YOU KNOW, LETS NOT FOOL
OURSELVES HERE—-Copy !req
515. IT WAS SPECIAL.Copy !req
516. I FELT IT, SO DID YOU.Copy !req
517. UM..Copy !req
518. SO, UH, ALL RIGHT.Copy !req
519. THERE WE GO,
LET THE GAMES BEGIN.Copy !req
520. UH...Copy !req
521. ALL RIGHT, SO WE'LL, UH...
WE'LL TALK LATER THEN.Copy !req
522. AND, YOU, I SEE WHAT YOU'RE
DOING AND HANDS OFF, ALL RIGHT?Copy !req
523. HMM.Copy !req
524. UH...Copy !req
525. DO YOU WANT ME TO TALK TO HIM?Copy !req
526. OH, NO, NO, NO.Copy !req
527. I'VE HANDLED
THESE SITUATIONS BEFORE.Copy !req
528. YOU KNOW WHAT?Copy !req
529. SAY NO MORE.Copy !req
530. I KNOW HIM
AND IT REALLY WON'T BE...Copy !req
531. NO, SERIOUSLY, DON'T MAKE
A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT.Copy !req
532. COME ON, PULL IT TOGETHER NOW.Copy !req
533. TRAP THE BALL!Copy !req
534. TRAP IT!Copy !req
535. SHH... I'M SORRY.Copy !req
536. CAN YOU DO THAT QUIETER?Copy !req
537. BRENDON, GET IN THERE
FOR JEREMY.Copy !req
538. OH, COACH, I CAN'T.Copy !req
539. I FEEL TERRIBLE.Copy !req
540. I DON'T CARE——
GET IN THERE.Copy !req
541. YOU CAN'T FOOL ME.Copy !req
542. JEREMY, OUT!Copy !req
543. BRENDON, IN!Copy !req
544. NO WAY, COACH...Copy !req
545. HEY, McGUIRK.Copy !req
546. LYNCH, YOU LOST, HUH?Copy !req
547. YOU WANT A MAP?Copy !req
548. NO, THANKS, UM..Copy !req
549. YOU GOT A MINUTE?Copy !req
550. I, UH, JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU
SOMETHING THAT THE NURSE, UH...Copy !req
551. I TALKED TO THE NURSE...Copy !req
552. MM—HMM.Copy !req
553. AND I THINK YOU, UH...Copy !req
554. WELL, I MEAN,
I'VE SPOKEN TO HER...Copy !req
555. LOOK, LYNCH, IF YOU'VE GOT
SOMETHING TO SAYCopy !req
556. ABOUT ME AND THE NURSE, SAY IT.Copy !req
557. ALL RIGHT, OKAY, ALL RIGHT...Copy !req
558. YOU KNOW WHAT?Copy !req
559. WELL...Copy !req
560. FORGET IT.Copy !req
561. DON'T SAY IT, JUST GO.Copy !req
562. GET OUT OF HERE.Copy !req
563. ALL I'M TELLING...
SAYING IS, UH...Copy !req
564. OH, HI, BRENDON!Copy !req
565. BRENDON DOESN'T LOOK, UH...Copy !req
566. WELL, UM, LET ME, UH, PREFACE
THIS BY FIRST SAYING...Copy !req
567. WELL, YOU AREN'T GOING TO LIKE
WHAT FOLLOWS...Copy !req
568. THE PREFACE...Copy !req
569. JASON, YOU SEEM CLEAN TODAY.Copy !req
570. WHAT, DID YOU ACCIDENTALLY FALL
IN THE TUB?Copy !req
571. I, UM... THINK IT'S A GOOD TIME
TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.Copy !req
572. SURE.Copy !req
573. I WROTE IT DOWN... HERE.Copy !req
574. HOLD ON ONE SECOND.Copy !req
575. OKAY.Copy !req
576. OKAY.Copy !req
577. "NURSE, BEAUTIFUL SWAN..."Copy !req
578. ALL RIGHT, WE GOT TO TALK.Copy !req
579. AH, WE'RE KIND OF IN THE MIDDLE
OF SOMETHING.Copy !req
580. WHY DO I HAVE TO FIND OUT FROM
LYNCH THAT WE'RE NOT,Copy !req
581. YOU KNOW, TOGETHER?Copy !req
582. WHAT?Copy !req
583. I WANT ANSWERS RIGHT NOW.Copy !req
584. OKAY, WELL, ACTUALLY REALLY
WE'RE NOT TOGETHER.Copy !req
585. OH, GREAT.Copy !req
586. SO THAT'S IT, THEN?Copy !req
587. WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER NIGHT?Copy !req
588. THAT MEANT NOTHING TO YOU?Copy !req
589. OH, GOD!Copy !req
590. UM, WHAT NIGHT?Copy !req
591. NOT NOW, JASON.Copy !req
592. I'LL KILL YOU!Copy !req
593. KID, I GOT NO BEEF WITH YOU.Copy !req
594. YOU PASSED OUT IN MY CAR——
THAT'S IT.Copy !req
595. HEY, WHAT,
THAT'S NOT SOMETHING?Copy !req
596. JASON, STOP.Copy !req
597. HEY!Copy !req
598. I WAS GOING TO GO OUT
TO GET A SALAD AND, UH...Copy !req
599. McGUIRK...Copy !req
600. OH, AND, UH...Copy !req
601. WELL, I CAN SEE
IT'S A BAD TIME.Copy !req
602. IF YOU WANT ONE, I'LL...Copy !req
603. OKAY, THANK YOU.Copy !req
604. LOOK, I'VE GOT A REPUTATION,
ALL RIGHT?Copy !req
605. NOBODY KNOWS ABOUT MY
REPUTATION, BUT, UH...Copy !req
606. NOT BEING INTERESTED IN ME
IS NOT GOING TO HELP.Copy !req
607. OKAY, RIGHT, UM,
YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO LEAVE.Copy !req
608. UH, I THINK I'M DYING.Copy !req
609. BRENDON, NO.Copy !req
610. I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR YOU
RIGHT NOW.Copy !req
611. WELL, MAYBE YOU HAVE TIME
FOR THIS.Copy !req
612. I FEEL HORRIBLE,
FOR REAL FOR THE FIRST TIMECopy !req
613. SINCE I'VE BEEN FAKING.Copy !req
614. AND I GUESS THE PURPOSE
OF THIS DOCUMENTARYCopy !req
615. IS SO I CAN STUDY IT
AND LEARN HOW TO FAKE BETTERCopy !req
616. AND GROW AS A FAKER.Copy !req
617. SO I CAN ENJOY THE FREE TIME
WHEN BEING SENT HOMECopy !req
618. RATHER THAN THROWING UP
EVERY FIVE SECONDS WHICH,Copy !req
619. INCIDENTALLY,
ISN'T TERRIBLY RELAXING.Copy !req
620. UM, SO...Copy !req
621. BRENDON, YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO BE RELAXING.Copy !req
622. MOM, NO, NOT NOW.Copy !req
623. NO, BRENDON, THE DOCTOR
SAID IT WAS PSYCHOSOMATIC OR...Copy !req
624. STRESS RELATED OR...
MENOPAUSAL... SOMETHING.Copy !req
625. I WASN'T PAYING ATTENTION.Copy !req
626. STRESS RELATED...
STRESS RELATED.Copy !req
627. RIGHT, SO YOU HAVE TO RELAX.Copy !req
628. HMM.Copy !req
629. YOU'VE DONE IT
THIS TIME, BRENDON.Copy !req
630. YOU'RE REALLY SICK.
ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?Copy !req
631. UM, YEAH, I APPRECIATE
THE IRONY.Copy !req
632. CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING?Copy !req
633. YOU CAN GET ME A BUCKET
AND SOME DARVON.Copy !req
634. BRENDON, MOMMY ATE
THE BUCKET OF DARVON FOR LUNCH.Copy !req
635. BUT I'M MAKING SOUP.Copy !req
636. DO YOU WANT SOME SOUP?Copy !req
637. YEAH, I GUESS SO.Copy !req
638. WHAT KIND?Copy !req
639. OKAY, I WAS BLUFFING, ACTUALLY.Copy !req
640. I THOUGHT YOU WERE SICK
TO YOUR STOMACH.Copy !req
641. WELL, YEAH...Copy !req
642. BRENDON?Copy !req
643. DID I EVER TELL YOU I USED
TO GET THESE TERRIBLECopy !req
644. STRESS HEADACHES IN COLLEGE?Copy !req
645. YOU WENT TO COLLEGE?Copy !req
646. OH, WHOOPS.
CAT'S OUT OF THE BAG.Copy !req
647. NO. BUT I WOULD
GET THESE HEADACHES.Copy !req
648. RIGHT, SO WHAT WOULD YOU DO?Copy !req
649. I'D SCREAM AT MY ROOMMATES
TO BE QUIET.Copy !req
650. WHAT, THEY WERE LOUD?Copy !req
651. THEY WERE IDIOTS...Copy !req
652. AND LOUD.Copy !req
653. OH, AND...Copy !req
654. THEY WERE LOUD IDIOTS.Copy !req
655. YOU KNOW, I SHOULD CALL THEM.Copy !req
656. WHY IS THAT?Copy !req
657. WELL, TO FIND OUT
WHAT'S BECOME OF THEMCopy !req
658. HOW THEY'RE DOING BECAUSE
YOU NEED TO KEEP IN TOUCHCopy !req
659. AND FIND OUT WHAT'S BECOME
OF THE PEOPLE WHO WERE ONCECopy !req
660. IN YOUR LIFE SO THAT YOU CAN
MEASURE YOUR LIFECopy !req
661. AGAINST THEIR LIFE
AND SEE WHO WON.Copy !req
662. OH.Copy !req
663. AND I AM WAY AHEAD.Copy !req
664. YEAH, CAN YOU PASS ME
THAT BUCKET, PLEASE?Copy !req
665. ALL RIGHT,
QUIET DOWN AND LISTEN UP.Copy !req
666. I'M NOT JOKING AROUND HERE.Copy !req
667. THE NAME'S McGUIRK
AND SOCCER'S THE GAME.Copy !req
668. WE NEED NEW PLAYERS
FOR NEXT SEASON.Copy !req
669. SO IF YOU DON'T SUCK
AT SOCCER,Copy !req
670. YOU COME TO MY OFFICE TOMORROW
AND TALK TO ME.Copy !req
671. I'LL BE THERE.Copy !req
672. WELL, I WON'T BE THERE TOMORROW.Copy !req
673. BUT JUST COME TO MY OFFICE,
THEY'LL SET IT UP.Copy !req
674. AND, UH, WHILE I HAVE
YOUR ATTENTION TODAYCopy !req
675. I THOUGHT I'D LIKE TO DISPEL
ANY RUMORSCopy !req
676. THAT MIGHT BE CIRCULATING
ABOUT ME.Copy !req
677. I WOULD NEVER EVER DATE
ANY FACULTY MEMBERS.Copy !req
678. EVEN IF THEY BEGGED ME
TO DATE THEM I WOULD SAY NO.Copy !req
679. UNLESS THEY REALLY BEGGED.Copy !req
680. BUT THEY WOULD HAVE TO BEG
A LOT IN THE NEXT 60 SECONDSCopy !req
681. OR THEY BLEW IT.Copy !req
682. 59... 58... 57...Copy !req
683. 56... OKAY...Copy !req
684. YOU KNOW, JASON,Copy !req
685. I THOUGHT ABOUT
WHAT YOU SAID AND, UM,Copy !req
686. I WOULD LIKE
TO BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND.Copy !req
687. REALLY?Copy !req
688. YES, BUT NOT UNTIL
YOU'RE 30, OKAY?Copy !req
689. UNTIL THEN, IT'S GOING TO HAVE
TO BE STRICTLY PROFESSIONAL.Copy !req
690. SO, YOU, UH... IF YOU WAIT
TILL I'M 30 THAT WILL MAKE YOU,Copy !req
691. LIKE, 60—SOMETHING.Copy !req
692. YEP, 60—SOMETHING.Copy !req
693. AH... THAT DOESN'T THRILL ME.Copy !req
694. 26... LAST CHANCE... 25...Copy !req
695. I KNOW, I'VE GOT TO FINISH.Copy !req
696. 24... 23...Copy !req
697. 22... TWENTY—TWO...Copy !req
698. TWO—TWO...Copy !req
699. AH... 21...Copy !req
700. COME ON, TAKE A LOOK AT THIS!Copy !req
701. YOU CAN'T PASS IT UP!Copy !req
702. 20...Copy !req
703. CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY
THE TRANSCRIPTION COMPANY
BURBANK, CA
WWW.TRANSCRIPTS.NETCopy !req