- 1. Night, Mom.
- 2. You ready to turn in?
- 3. I think so.
- 4. It's been another long, eye-opening,
somewhat harrowing day
- 5. and I enjoyed it very much.
- 6. Good night, Alfur.
- 7. Good night, Hilda.
- 8. This is very odd.
- 9. Morning, Alfur.
- 10. Whoa!
- 11. - Who are you?
- Yes, who are you?
- 12. Ah. Alfur, you're awake.
A pleasure to meet you.
- 13. I'm Alvin.
- 14. Your replacement.
- 15. My replacement?
- 16. I am not being replaced!
- 17. You've been replaced.
- 18. This can't be right.
- 19. "Effective immediately.
- 20. You are hereby relieved
of your post as Trolberg Correspondent.
- 21. A special elven delegation
will arrive at noon today
- 22. to escort you back
to the Northern Counties."
- 23. But how can they…
- 24. You'll see I already took
the liberty of packing your belongings.
- 25. And moving in your own ones I see.
- 26. Did you know you had an animal in here?
- 27. Hey, that's a nitten.
- 28. And her name is Peppercorn.
- 29. Why on earth
does Alfur need to be replaced?
- 30. It has come to the attention
of the Prime Minister and his Cabinet
- 31. that your Trolberg reports are full
of embellishments and exaggerations.
- 32. In fact, there's a strong suspicion
- 33. that you occasionally go
so far as to make things up.
- 34. Never!
- 35. Do you really expect us to believe
- 36. some of the crazy claims
you've made in your reports?
- 37. Crazy claims?
- 38. I mean, it's hard to know where to begin
but according to Alfur, he has…
- 39. participated in smuggling
a troll rock out of a school for humans,
- 40. chased down the footnotes to the footnotes
of an ancient soul-stealing spell,
- 41. and negotiated
with a fire-breathing dragon
- 42. for the release of a contract.
- 43. While these wild tales
may please your dedicated fan base…
- 44. "Dedicated fan base"?
- 45. Dreadful as they are,
- 46. Alfur's reports are the most requested
from the official archive.
- 47. - I had no idea.
- Well done, Alfur.
- 48. Yes, well, all elven reports must adhere
to a strict standard of accuracy,
- 49. regardless of popularity.
- 50. But all those things
you mentioned really happened.
- 51. I should know, I was there.
- 52. That's it.
- 53. We'll file an eyewitness
- 54. No. I'm afraid she doesn't qualify
as a reliable eyewitness.
- 55. I'm completely reliable.
- 56. And, in any case, please note
- 57. that a hold has been placed
on any additional paperwork
- 58. that you may wish to file in this matter.
- 59. You mean,
I've reached the end of the paper trail?
- 60. I'm afraid so.
- 61. This is totally unfair.
- 62. I won't stand for it!
- 63. Phew. Perhaps I need to draw up
a No Drama Agreement?
- 64. I don't believe that will be necessary.
- 65. I will be ready by noon… as required.
- 66. Alfur, you can't just leave.
- 67. Have you ever heard the saying,
- 68. "Desperation begins
where the paper trail ends"?
- 69. No.
- 70. Well, it's a common saying
among my people.
- 71. There's nothing to be done, Hilda.
- 72. But you don't just work here,
you have a life here.
- 73. You're my friend.
- 74. After all we've been through, you're…
- 75. you're like family to me.
- 76. What if we find a way
- 77. to trick the delegation
into going back home without you?
- 78. Hmm. I believe your people have a saying,
- 79. "Desperate times
call for desperate measures."
- 80. I'm going to take that as a yes?
- 81. I thought that was obvious.
- 82. Ooh.
- 83. Was Agnes really the only option?
- 84. She volunteered.
- 85. Uh, and when Agnes volunteers,
there's no refusing her.
- 86. She'll do fine.
No spitting at the delegation though.
- 87. Now, look sharp.
- 88. Here they come.
- 89. Hilda, Alfur, and, locals,
- 90. may I present the Delegation
for the Return of Wayward Elves.
- 91. I am Aloysius, head of the delegation.
- 92. This is Rupert, Gertrude, Ulrik,
- 93. and our keeper of the notes Adeline.
- 94. Hi.
- 95. I am Bartell, leader of The Lost Clan
- 96. and acting representative
of elf-kind in Trolberg.
- 97. And this is Alfur.
- 98. Always has been, always will be.
- 99. Honor to meet you, Alfur, sir.
I'm a big, big fan of your work.
- 100. Your reports make Trolberg
sound so magical.
- 101. - Mm.
- 102. - Well, we're all feeling rather emotional
- 103. and goodbyes are hard
so let's make this quick.
- 104. Bye, Alfur! Safe travels, everyone!
- 105. Hold on. There's paperwork
that we must attend to before we depart.
- 106. Easy. Easy.
- 107. You must hereby surrender
your passport immediately.
- 108. - Ooh…
- 109. Alfur, what is the meaning of this?
- 110. Agnes never surrenders.
- 111. Looks like we'll have
to settle this with combat!
- 112. Agnes, Bartell, stand down!
- 113. Please, I insist, no combat!
- 114. What is the meaning of this?
- 115. Alfur, wait!
- 116. Hmm?
- 117. It's me! Alfur!
- 118. Thank you
for your support, Agnes, Bartell.
- 119. But I think it's best you leave now.
- 120. Alfur, are you sure?
- 121. Yes, I'm sure.
- 122. Oh. The spitting elf from the reports.
- 123. I really rather hoped you'd made her up.
- 124. No, she is the real Agnes.
- 125. And I am the real Alfur,
the one you've come for.
- 126. If it pleases the delegation…
- 127. Oh, we are far from pleased.
Surrender your passport at once, sir.
- 128. Of course.
- 129. What?
- 130. But you'll have to catch me first!
- 131. Don't let him escape!
- 132. Go, Alfur!
- 133. He's in the lettuce!
- 134. Search the leaves, every last one!
- 135. That scoundrel
is hiding in here somewhere!
- 136. Ha! Something's out to get my lettuce!
- 137. This way!
- 138. Alfur!
- 139. I'm sorry we have to meet
under these circumstances
- 140. because I really enjoy reading your…
- 141. Uh-uh-uh! Stop where you are!
- 142. Oh, dear!
- 143. Twig!
- 144. You can't hide in the potatoes forever!
- 145. Hey, who said that?
- 146. Oh! My potatoes!
- 147. Oh, sorry!
- 148. Hey!
- 149. He's over there!
- 150. Aha! He's going into the lighthouse!
- 151. We're coming for you!
- 152. Spirits! They're coming for us!
- 153. And our produce!
- 154. Alfur!
- 155. Hilda!
- 156. Jump! I've got you!
- 157. Jump? Are you insane?
- 158. Oh!
- 159. Got you! See?
- 160. There they are!
- 161. Gerda Gustav,
Assistant Deputy of Safety Patrol
- 162. is at your service!
- 163. - Hey, that's great!
- Lock them up!
- 164. Whoa!
- 165. You may return to your business.
I have the situation under control.
- 166. Um, Deputy Gerda, what are you planning
to do with that lighthouse?
- 167. Take it back
to Safety Patrol Headquarters,
- 168. conduct a thorough investigation…
- 169. …and then determine
the appropriate course of action.
- 170. This is unprecedented.
- 171. We've got to save them!
- 172. Right. Let's see.
- 173. We need to convene a council,
draw up a detailed plan,
- 174. sign off on the detailed plan, and then…
- 175. Are you crazy?
We don't have time for all that.
- 176. Alfur and I will figure something out.
- 177. To the Safety Patrol Headquarters!
- 178. Oh, dear, there's no way out of this box!
- 179. Adeline! What are you doing?
- 180. Making notes for our report.
We're on a genuine Trolberg adventure.
- 181. I can barely keep up!
- 182. See anything?
- 183. They're not in here. Next window, please.
- 184. This is taking far too long!
- 185. Do you have a better idea?
- 186. Actually, I…
- 187. No.
- 188. Going up.
- 189. There they are!
- 190. What's happening?
- 191. It's Deputy Gerda.
- 192. - Hide!
- 193. Okay, full disclosure.
- 194. I've never interrogated spirits before
so bear with me.
- 195. To begin, what type of spirits are you?
- 196. This woman is a loose cannon.
- 197. She thinks we're spirits.
- 198. To be fair, she can't see us.
- 199. Are you still there?
- 200. What if they escaped?
- 201. - Hello!
- 202. Aha!
- 203. Reveal yourselves!
Speak, mysterious spirits, speak!
- 204. Hm.
- 205. There must be some kind of protocol
for getting spirits to talk.
- 206. I'll be back shortly.
- 207. She's gone.
- 208. Now's our chance.
- 209. Come on, if you want to help me.
- 210. Help you do what?
- 211. Get down, she's coming back!
- 212. Not you, you're invisible!
- 213. According to this old
Trolberg Official Handbook of Spirits,
- 214. a surefire way to get spirits talking
is to submerge them in water.
- 215. So, I'm going to give it a try.
- 216. - We're going to drown!
- 217. Look, it's Alfur and Alvin!
- 218. Oh. They're all doomed.
- 219. Perhaps not. I have a crazy idea.
- 220. Why am I not surprised?
- 221. Deputy Gerda!
- 222. Who said that?
- 223. I am Deputy Alfur
of the Spirit Safety Patrol.
- 224. I apologize for the illegal
and unlicensed behavior
- 225. of these rogue spirits.
- 226. What illegal and unlicensed behavior?
- 227. Well, haunting a produce stand
without a license for one thing,
- 228. and disturbing the peace
without a permit for another.
- 229. Not to mention
the misuse of a commercial sign
- 230. for residential purposes.
- 231. Would you like to add anything,
- 232. No, no, that's a very thorough
breakdown of the offenses.
- 233. Why thank you.
- 234. Offenses?
- 235. Yes! But thanks to the good work
of Deputy Gerda,
- 236. you've been caught
and can now be released into my custody.
- 237. Um. Released to your custody?
I don't know if I can do that…
- 238. Oh, well, you absolutely should not do it
without the proper paperwork.
- 239. You'll need an Official
Transfer of Custody.
- 240. Please sign and initial.
- 241. It's so tiny.
- 242. My apologies.
- 243. We have, um…
- 244. storage issues in the spirit world
so we've had to miniaturize.
- 245. Do you have access to a magnifying glass?
- 246. It's standard-issue
for conducting investigations.
- 247. Indeed.
- 248. "Whereas… in violation of…
shall be remanded into custody…"
- 249. This looks to be in order, I must say.
- 250. A fellow safety professional
such as yourself knows the drill!
- 251. Do you ever feel as if you're surrounded
by people who just don't get it?
- 252. All the time,
but it's part of the job, I guess.
- 253. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I appreciate
your positive attitude, I must say.
- 254. If you could sign this copy for my records
while you keep the original.
- 255. Certainly.
- 256. Thank you.
- 257. Thank you.
- 258. And now if you'll be so kind
as to open the holding box.
- 259. Right away.
- 260. It's been a pleasure working with you
to resolve this matter, Deputy.
- 261. Likewise, Deputy. Shall I get the door?
- 262. Oh, that won't be necessary.
- 263. We spirits prefer
to pass through the walls.
- 264. But I'll close the window
as a sign of our departure.
- 265. Farewell!
- 266. Amazing.
- 267. Alfur, that was brilliant!
- 268. The important thing is it worked.
- 269. Let's get out of here, shall we?
- 270. I must say that this experience has been…
- 271. Exciting?
- 272. Unnerving.
- 273. I'm not sure anyone will believe it.
- 274. Don't worry,
I've got it all down in my notes.
- 275. I'm sure you have.
- 276. Alfur, your actions today
have not gone unnoted by this delegation.
- 277. However… Um…
- 278. I know. I still have to go.
- 279. Oh, Alfur.
- 280. Hold on! Hold on! Hold on!
- 281. In light of our recent adventures…
- 282. In light of our recent adventures,
- 283. and your impressive ability
- 284. to deal with the unique challenges
of living in this city,
- 285. I cannot, in good conscience,
- 286. remove you from your post
as our Trolberg Correspondent.
- 287. Huh?
- 288. Furthermore, this delegation
will inform the Prime Minister that,
- 289. based on observation and analysis,
- 290. your reports,
as far-fetched as they may seem,
- 291. are undoubtedly true and accurate.
- 292. An eyewitness confirmation form?
- 293. So, I can stay?
- 294. You must stay.
- 295. Yes!
- 296. I don't know what to say.
- 297. We shall return to the Northern Counties,
- 298. effective immediately.
- 299. Keep up the good work, Alfur.
- 300. I'm not sure
which has been more thrilling,
- 301. meeting you or getting to
make notes about meeting you.
- 302. About those notes…
- 303. I'll have to file a report
on your visit, of course,
- 304. and I'm wondering if you'd be willing
to co-author it with me?
- 305. Are you serious?
- 306. Yes, of course, it would be an honor!
- 307. Goodbye, Alfur.
Meeting you hasn't exactly been a pleasure
- 308. but it has been…
- 309. Unprecedented?
- 310. Hmm. Quite.
- 311. Bye!
- 312. Farewell!
- 313. Come on, Alfur. Let's go home.
- 314. Night-night, Peppercorn.