1. Night, Mom.Copy !req
2. You ready to turn in?Copy !req
3. I think so.Copy !req
4. It's been another long, eye-opening,
somewhat harrowing dayCopy !req
5. and I enjoyed it very much.Copy !req
6. Good night, Alfur.Copy !req
7. Good night, Hilda.Copy !req
8. This is very odd.Copy !req
9. Morning, Alfur.Copy !req
10. Whoa!Copy !req
11. - Who are you?
- Yes, who are you?Copy !req
12. Ah. Alfur, you're awake.
A pleasure to meet you.Copy !req
13. I'm Alvin.Copy !req
14. Your replacement.Copy !req
15. My replacement?Copy !req
16. I am not being replaced!Copy !req
17. You've been replaced.Copy !req
18. This can't be right.Copy !req
19. "Effective immediately.Copy !req
20. You are hereby relieved
of your post as Trolberg Correspondent.Copy !req
21. A special elven delegation
will arrive at noon todayCopy !req
22. to escort you back
to the Northern Counties."Copy !req
23. But how can they…Copy !req
24. You'll see I already took
the liberty of packing your belongings.Copy !req
25. And moving in your own ones I see.Copy !req
26. Did you know you had an animal in here?Copy !req
27. Hey, that's a nitten.Copy !req
28. And her name is Peppercorn.Copy !req
29. Why on earth
does Alfur need to be replaced?Copy !req
30. It has come to the attention
of the Prime Minister and his CabinetCopy !req
31. that your Trolberg reports are full
of embellishments and exaggerations.Copy !req
32. In fact, there's a strong suspicionCopy !req
33. that you occasionally go
so far as to make things up.Copy !req
34. Never!Copy !req
35. Do you really expect us to believeCopy !req
36. some of the crazy claims
you've made in your reports?Copy !req
37. Crazy claims?Copy !req
38. I mean, it's hard to know where to begin
but according to Alfur, he has…Copy !req
39. participated in smuggling
a troll rock out of a school for humans,Copy !req
40. chased down the footnotes to the footnotes
of an ancient soul-stealing spell,Copy !req
41. and negotiated
with a fire-breathing dragonCopy !req
42. for the release of a contract.Copy !req
43. While these wild tales
may please your dedicated fan base…Copy !req
44. [Alfur, Hilda] "Dedicated fan base"?Copy !req
45. Dreadful as they are,Copy !req
46. Alfur's reports are the most requested
from the official archive.Copy !req
47. - I had no idea.
Well done, Alfur.Copy !req
48. Yes, well, all elven reports must adhere
to a strict standard of accuracy,Copy !req
49. regardless of popularity.Copy !req
50. But all those things
you mentioned really happened.Copy !req
51. I should know, I was there.Copy !req
52. That's it.Copy !req
53. We'll file an eyewitness
confirmation form!Copy !req
54. No. I'm afraid she doesn't qualify
as a reliable eyewitness.Copy !req
55. I'm completely reliable.Copy !req
56. And, in any case, please noteCopy !req
57. that a hold has been placed
on any additional paperworkCopy !req
58. that you may wish to file in this matter.Copy !req
59. You mean,
I've reached the end of the paper trail?Copy !req
60. I'm afraid so.Copy !req
61. This is totally unfair.Copy !req
62. I won't stand for it!Copy !req
63. Phew. Perhaps I need to draw up
a No Drama Agreement?Copy !req
64. I don't believe that will be necessary.Copy !req
65. I will be ready by noon… as required.Copy !req
66. Alfur, you can't just leave.Copy !req
67. Have you ever heard the saying,Copy !req
68. "Desperation begins
where the paper trail ends"?Copy !req
69. No.Copy !req
70. Well, it's a common saying
among my people.Copy !req
71. There's nothing to be done, Hilda.Copy !req
72. But you don't just work here,
you have a life here.Copy !req
73. You're my friend.Copy !req
74. After all we've been through, you're…Copy !req
75. you're like family to me.Copy !req
76. What if we find a wayCopy !req
77. to trick the delegation
into going back home without you?Copy !req
78. Hmm. I believe your people have a saying,Copy !req
79. "Desperate times
call for desperate measures."Copy !req
80. I'm going to take that as a yes?Copy !req
81. I thought that was obvious.Copy !req
82. Ooh.Copy !req
83. Was Agnes really the only option?Copy !req
84. She volunteered.Copy !req
85. Uh, and when Agnes volunteers,
there's no refusing her.Copy !req
86. She'll do fine.
No spitting at the delegation though.Copy !req
87. Now, look sharp.Copy !req
88. Here they come.Copy !req
89. Hilda, Alfur, and, locals,Copy !req
90. may I present the Delegation
for the Return of Wayward Elves.Copy !req
91. I am Aloysius, head of the delegation.Copy !req
92. This is Rupert, Gertrude, Ulrik,Copy !req
93. and our keeper of the notes Adeline.Copy !req
94. Hi.Copy !req
95. I am Bartell, leader of The Lost ClanCopy !req
96. and acting representative
of elf-kind in Trolberg.Copy !req
97. And this is Alfur.Copy !req
98. Always has been, always will be.Copy !req
99. Honor to meet you, Alfur, sir.
I'm a big, big fan of your work.Copy !req
100. Your reports make Trolberg
sound so magical.Copy !req
101. - Mm.Copy !req
102. - Well, we're all feeling rather emotionalCopy !req
103. and goodbyes are hard
so let's make this quick.Copy !req
104. Bye, Alfur! Safe travels, everyone!Copy !req
105. Hold on. There's paperwork
that we must attend to before we depart.Copy !req
106. Easy. Easy.Copy !req
107. You must hereby surrender
your passport immediately.Copy !req
108. - Ooh…Copy !req
109. Alfur, what is the meaning of this?Copy !req
110. Agnes never surrenders.Copy !req
111. Looks like we'll have
to settle this with combat!Copy !req
112. Agnes, Bartell, stand down!Copy !req
113. Please, I insist, no combat!Copy !req
114. What is the meaning of this?Copy !req
115. Alfur, wait!Copy !req
116. Hmm?Copy !req
117. It's me! Alfur!Copy !req
118. Thank you
for your support, Agnes, Bartell.Copy !req
119. But I think it's best you leave now.Copy !req
120. Alfur, are you sure?Copy !req
121. Yes, I'm sure.Copy !req
122. Oh. The spitting elf from the reports.Copy !req
123. I really rather hoped you'd made her up.Copy !req
124. No, she is the real Agnes.Copy !req
125. And I am the real Alfur,
the one you've come for.Copy !req
126. If it pleases the delegation…Copy !req
127. Oh, we are far from pleased.
Surrender your passport at once, sir.Copy !req
128. Of course.Copy !req
129. What?Copy !req
130. But you'll have to catch me first!Copy !req
131. Don't let him escape!Copy !req
132. Go, Alfur!Copy !req
133. He's in the lettuce!Copy !req
134. Search the leaves, every last one!Copy !req
135. That scoundrel
is hiding in here somewhere!Copy !req
136. Ha! Something's out to get my lettuce!Copy !req
137. This way!Copy !req
138. Alfur!Copy !req
139. I'm sorry we have to meet
under these circumstancesCopy !req
140. because I really enjoy reading your…Copy !req
141. Uh-uh-uh! Stop where you are!Copy !req
142. Oh, dear!Copy !req
143. Twig!Copy !req
144. You can't hide in the potatoes forever!Copy !req
145. Hey, who said that?Copy !req
146. Oh! My potatoes!Copy !req
147. Oh, sorry!Copy !req
148. Hey!Copy !req
149. He's over there!Copy !req
150. Aha! He's going into the lighthouse!Copy !req
151. We're coming for you!Copy !req
152. Spirits! They're coming for us!Copy !req
153. And our produce!Copy !req
154. Alfur!Copy !req
155. Hilda!Copy !req
156. Jump! I've got you!Copy !req
157. Jump? Are you insane?Copy !req
158. Oh!Copy !req
159. Got you! See?Copy !req
160. There they are!Copy !req
161. Gerda Gustav,
Assistant Deputy of Safety PatrolCopy !req
162. is at your service!Copy !req
163. - Hey, that's great!
- Lock them up!Copy !req
164. Whoa!Copy !req
165. You may return to your business.
I have the situation under control.Copy !req
166. Um, Deputy Gerda, what are you planning
to do with that lighthouse?Copy !req
167. Take it back
to Safety Patrol Headquarters,Copy !req
168. conduct a thorough investigation…Copy !req
169. …and then determine
the appropriate course of action.Copy !req
170. This is unprecedented.Copy !req
171. We've got to save them!Copy !req
172. Right. Let's see.Copy !req
173. We need to convene a council,
draw up a detailed plan,Copy !req
174. sign off on the detailed plan, and then…Copy !req
175. Are you crazy?
We don't have time for all that.Copy !req
176. Alfur and I will figure something out.Copy !req
177. To the Safety Patrol Headquarters!Copy !req
178. Oh, dear, there's no way out of this box!Copy !req
179. Adeline! What are you doing?Copy !req
180. Making notes for our report.
We're on a genuine Trolberg adventure.Copy !req
181. I can barely keep up!Copy !req
182. See anything?Copy !req
183. They're not in here. Next window, please.Copy !req
184. This is taking far too long!Copy !req
185. Do you have a better idea?Copy !req
186. Actually, I…Copy !req
187. No.Copy !req
188. Going up.Copy !req
189. [Alfur, Alvin] There they are!Copy !req
190. What's happening?Copy !req
191. It's Deputy Gerda.Copy !req
192. - Hide!Copy !req
193. Okay, full disclosure.Copy !req
194. I've never interrogated spirits before
so bear with me.Copy !req
195. To begin, what type of spirits are you?Copy !req
196. This woman is a loose cannon.Copy !req
197. She thinks we're spirits.Copy !req
198. To be fair, she can't see us.Copy !req
199. Are you still there?Copy !req
200. What if they escaped?Copy !req
201. - Hello!Copy !req
202. Aha!Copy !req
203. Reveal yourselves!
Speak, mysterious spirits, speak!Copy !req
204. Hm.Copy !req
205. There must be some kind of protocol
for getting spirits to talk.Copy !req
206. I'll be back shortly.Copy !req
207. She's gone.Copy !req
208. Now's our chance.Copy !req
209. Come on, if you want to help me.Copy !req
210. Help you do what?Copy !req
211. Get down, she's coming back!Copy !req
212. Not you, you're invisible!Copy !req
213. According to this old
Trolberg Official Handbook of Spirits,Copy !req
214. a surefire way to get spirits talking
is to submerge them in water.Copy !req
215. So, I'm going to give it a try.Copy !req
216. - We're going to drown!Copy !req
217. Look, it's Alfur and Alvin!Copy !req
218. Oh. They're all doomed.Copy !req
219. Perhaps not. I have a crazy idea.Copy !req
220. Why am I not surprised?Copy !req
221. Deputy Gerda!Copy !req
222. Who said that?Copy !req
223. I am Deputy Alfur
of the Spirit Safety Patrol.Copy !req
224. I apologize for the illegal
and unlicensed behaviorCopy !req
225. of these rogue spirits.Copy !req
226. What illegal and unlicensed behavior?Copy !req
227. Well, haunting a produce stand
without a license for one thing,Copy !req
228. and disturbing the peace
without a permit for another.Copy !req
229. Not to mention
the misuse of a commercial signCopy !req
230. for residential purposes.Copy !req
231. Would you like to add anything,
Deputy Gerda?Copy !req
232. No, no, that's a very thorough
breakdown of the offenses.Copy !req
233. Why thank you.Copy !req
234. Offenses?Copy !req
235. Yes! But thanks to the good work
of Deputy Gerda,Copy !req
236. you've been caught
and can now be released into my custody.Copy !req
237. Um. Released to your custody?
I don't know if I can do that…Copy !req
238. Oh, well, you absolutely should not do it
without the proper paperwork.Copy !req
239. You'll need an Official
Transfer of Custody.Copy !req
240. Please sign and initial.Copy !req
241. It's so tiny.Copy !req
242. My apologies.Copy !req
243. We have, um…Copy !req
244. storage issues in the spirit world
so we've had to miniaturize.Copy !req
245. Do you have access to a magnifying glass?Copy !req
246. It's standard-issue
for conducting investigations.Copy !req
247. Indeed.Copy !req
248. "Whereas… in violation of…
shall be remanded into custody…"Copy !req
249. This looks to be in order, I must say.Copy !req
250. A fellow safety professional
such as yourself knows the drill!Copy !req
251. Do you ever feel as if you're surrounded
by people who just don't get it?Copy !req
252. All the time,
but it's part of the job, I guess.Copy !req
253. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I appreciate
your positive attitude, I must say.Copy !req
254. If you could sign this copy for my records
while you keep the original.Copy !req
255. Certainly.Copy !req
256. Thank you.Copy !req
257. Thank you.Copy !req
258. And now if you'll be so kind
as to open the holding box.Copy !req
259. Right away.Copy !req
260. It's been a pleasure working with you
to resolve this matter, Deputy.Copy !req
261. Likewise, Deputy. Shall I get the door?Copy !req
262. Oh, that won't be necessary.Copy !req
263. We spirits prefer
to pass through the walls.Copy !req
264. But I'll close the window
as a sign of our departure.Copy !req
265. Farewell!Copy !req
266. Amazing.Copy !req
267. Alfur, that was brilliant!Copy !req
268. The important thing is it worked.Copy !req
269. Let's get out of here, shall we?Copy !req
270. I must say that this experience has been…Copy !req
271. Exciting?Copy !req
272. Unnerving.Copy !req
273. I'm not sure anyone will believe it.Copy !req
274. Don't worry,
I've got it all down in my notes.Copy !req
275. I'm sure you have.Copy !req
276. Alfur, your actions today
have not gone unnoted by this delegation.Copy !req
277. However… Um…Copy !req
278. I know. I still have to go.Copy !req
279. Oh, Alfur.Copy !req
280. Hold on! Hold on! Hold on!Copy !req
281. In light of our recent adventures…Copy !req
282. In light of our recent adventures,Copy !req
283. and your impressive abilityCopy !req
284. to deal with the unique challenges
of living in this city,Copy !req
285. I cannot, in good conscience,Copy !req
286. remove you from your post
as our Trolberg Correspondent.Copy !req
287. Huh?Copy !req
288. Furthermore, this delegation
will inform the Prime Minister that,Copy !req
289. based on observation and analysis,Copy !req
290. your reports,
as far-fetched as they may seem,Copy !req
291. are undoubtedly true and accurate.Copy !req
292. An eyewitness confirmation form?Copy !req
293. So, I can stay?Copy !req
294. You must stay.Copy !req
295. Yes!Copy !req
296. I don't know what to say.Copy !req
297. We shall return to the Northern Counties,Copy !req
298. effective immediately.Copy !req
299. Keep up the good work, Alfur.Copy !req
300. I'm not sure
which has been more thrilling,Copy !req
301. meeting you or getting to
make notes about meeting you.Copy !req
302. About those notes…Copy !req
303. I'll have to file a report
on your visit, of course,Copy !req
304. and I'm wondering if you'd be willing
to co-author it with me?Copy !req
305. Are you serious?Copy !req
306. Yes, of course, it would be an honor!Copy !req
307. Goodbye, Alfur.
Meeting you hasn't exactly been a pleasureCopy !req
308. but it has been…Copy !req
309. Unprecedented?Copy !req
310. Hmm. Quite.Copy !req
311. Bye!Copy !req
312. Farewell!Copy !req
313. Come on, Alfur. Let's go home.Copy !req
314. Night-night, Peppercorn.Copy !req