1. Here we go.
Arnold.
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2. Hey, Arnold!
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3. Hey, Arnold!
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4. Arnold.
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5. Arnold.
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6. (SIREN WAILING)
Arnold.
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7. Arnold.
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8. Move it, football head!
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9. Hey, Arnold!
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10. Well, we did it
all today.
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11. Rode bikes,
played baseball...
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12. Ate two double
chili dogs each,
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13. and finally mastered
the mother of all
pinball games.
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14. So cripplin'.
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15. Yeah, it was pretty near
a perfect day.
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16. I second that motion,
buddy.
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17. So, Gerald, tomorrow,
2:00 movie?
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18. The Return of
the Bad Breath Boys?
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19. Well, count me in.
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20. Hey, kid. The movie's
about to start.
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21. Two tickets, please.
Sorry, I only have
one ticket left.
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22. That's okay.
Thanks!
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23. One, please.
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24. Gerald, where were you?
The movie's sold out now.
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25. I'm really sorry.
I got caught up
in some things.
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26. We've been waiting
to see it for months.
What were you doing?
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27. Nothing. Time just
got away from me.
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28. Hey, next weekend for sure.
We'll see it.
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29. Okay. So what do you
wanna do now?
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30. Oh, hey, there's a book
I wanted to take a look at.
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31. You mind going
to the bookstore?
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32. Here it is!
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33. This game is supposed
to be pretty cool!
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34. It's supposed to be
pretty crazy, right?
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35. Sounds kinda dumb to me.
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36. Like a big waste
of time.
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37. Yeah, it's just a crazy,
mixed-up game.
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38. Anyway, I guess
Jamie O's into it,
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39. 'cause he asked me
to pick it up.
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40. Ready to go?
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41. Ah!
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42. (BELL RINGS)
I'll be home,
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43. so come over at 4:00.
We can get started on
our geography project.
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44. Okay. I... I'll see you
at 4:00.
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45. Where is he?
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46. Hey, Gerald,
what happened to you?
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47. I'm really sorry. I started
playing with Timberly
when I got home,
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48. and next thing I knew,
it was dinnertime.
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49. But you never even called.
I know, I know.
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50. I guess we have
all the other afternoons
this week
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51. to start on the project.
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52. Gerald?
Unfortunately,
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53. this week isn't
looking too good for me.
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54. You're busy every day
after school?
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55. I'm busy helping my mom
with some things.
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56. Well, maybe at least
one afternoon this week?
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57. Yeah, we'll see.
I'll let you know.
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58. I'm tired, buddy.
I'll catch you later.
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59. Okay. Later.
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60. Watch where
you're going,
young man.
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61. Oh, sorry!
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62. Hey, Gerald,
were you in the alley
near Dr. Stieglitz's office
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63. yesterday with Big Gino
and Edmund?
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64. Me, in an alley?
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65. With Big Gino and...
and who?
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66. Maybe I'm just
seeing things.
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67. I think you were, Arnold,
because I...
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68. The King Rules?
I thought you bought
that for Jamie.
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69. Uh... Yeah, yeah.
It's his.
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70. I, uh, just have it
because he wants me to
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71. copy a page of it
for a friend of his.
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72. We need to go
into class.
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73. (BELL RINGS)
Gerald, wait!
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74. Where are you going?
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75. Uh, nowhere.
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76. Gerald, you're avoiding me.
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77. No I'm not, just busy
with other stuff.
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78. What other stuff?
You can tell me.
It's me, Arnold.
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79. Don't be so suspicious.
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80. Listen, I have to go.
I'll call you tonight.
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81. What was that
again, King?
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82. Hey, when the King
talks, you gotta listen, kid.
It's all right.
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83. Now once again, pawns,
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84. it is almost time
to play the game.
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85. Red, 3:30.
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86. 3:30, Red shed.
Okay.
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87. It's 3:30, pawns.
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88. My shuffle.
Yes, King.
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89. Okay, Eddie, our King Gerald
deals out all the cards.
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90. We roll the dice,
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91. to see who reveals
what they have.
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92. You mean,
what cards
they're holding?
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93. Correct. After everyone
showed the King them,
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94. then we start trading stuff
like property,
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95. cattle, gold, etcetera.
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96. Did you...
The King talks!
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97. Did you learn the list
of terms, and what
each card stands for?
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98. I studied the list,
and read the book.
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99. "King"! You call him King!
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100. Oh, King!
Sorry, Gerald.
I mean, King.
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101. There are a lot of terms.
"Royal stump, crying vulture,
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102. "John in the moat.
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103. "Shovel the cheese.
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104. "Pinch the dragon.
Dance with
the unhappy uncle."
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105. This is not a game
for the weak or impatient.
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106. You have to concentrate
and be strong.
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107. And one day,
maybe you could be king.
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108. Are you implying that
I'm not gonna be
king forever?
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109. Oh, no, King,
I'm very sorry.
I didn't mean that.
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110. Watch yourself.
You don't want to
end up like him.
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111. A dungeon pawn.
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112. Let's play.
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113. The King rules!
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114. Hey, Gerald.
Hey, I'm kind of
in a hurry.
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115. Oh, yeah.
You're probably gonna
go play The King Rules.
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116. I don't know
what you're talking about.
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117. I know what's going on.
You've been playing
that game.
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118. Hey, I've played the game
once or twice.
So what?
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119. You've really changed.
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120. You've been avoiding me.
You have a million excuses
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121. whenever anyone
wants you to
do anything.
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122. That game has completely
taken over your life.
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123. I think you should
stop playing.
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124. Look, Arnold,
it's none of your business.
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125. You can't tell me
what to do,
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126. and I'm not gonna
stop playing the game.
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127. Gerald!
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128. Oh, short man.
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129. Another perplexing
roadblock in the avenue
of your boyhood.
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130. Oh, I remember
when I was a lad.
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131. I also had a best buddy
who was obsessed
with a game.
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132. You and your friend
patched things up, right?
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133. No, not at all!
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134. I guess the game
he loved
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135. was more important to him
than my friendship!
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136. To this day,
I still resent
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137. that stupid, idiotic
ex-friend of mine.
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138. Why, I wouldn't
take him back
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139. even if he came
crawling to me
begging for forgiveness
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140. and offered me
a seven-layer cake
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141. with gold bullion
on top!
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142. I can be harsh,
can't I, Arnold?
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143. I still don't know
what to do about Gerald.
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144. Well, let's see,
you can, uh,
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145. never talk to Gerald
again, or...
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146. Ooh, you can make up
an invisible friend
named Gerald
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147. so you don't need
the real guy.
Or maybe...
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148. I'm gonna
have to come up
with my own plan.
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149. Ah, drat!
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150. I was hoping
you were gonna get
an invisible friend!
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151. Oh, I love having
invisible friends.
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152. I think
you'd like it, too!
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153. Thanks for your help,
Grandpa.
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154. Sure, anytime.
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155. It's at 3:30 next Wednesday.
I'm having a wart removed.
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156. So, the big tournament
is this Saturday.
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157. I can't wait.
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158. Well, the word
on the street is,
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159. that you'll be having
no problem winning, King.
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160. And you should be wearing
the gold crown
when the tournament's over.
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161. A gold crown.
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162. Sounds good.
(CHUCKLES)
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163. I want to take on
your best player
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164. in this weekend's
tournament.
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165. "I'm the king of P.S. 119.
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166. "Leave a note under
second base
in the vacant lot
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167. "telling me the time
and location
of the tournament."
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168. As if anyone has
a chance of beating
Gerald, anyways.
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169. Mmm-hmm.
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170. I think this is
the right move.
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171. Two kings and an ace?
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172. That's a royal sandwich.
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173. Oh, what a silly game!
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174. But the thought of
a royal sandwich
is making me hungry.
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175. "Six unhappy uncles."
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176. Wow, that's the best hand
you can have.
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177. Read 'em
and weep, short man!
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178. Rise and shine,
short man!
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179. T-minus four hours
to your showdown
with Gerald.
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180. Hey, paizan, how you doing?
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181. Hey, I got a thing
for you right out there.
Come on.
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182. What are you doing here?
I'm here to play.
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183. To play what?
We're not playing anything.
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184. You don't know
this game.
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185. Oh, I know this game.
And I've come to win.
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186. It's up to the King.
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187. Let him play.
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188. The king of Table A is,
of course, King Gerald.
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189. And the king of Table B
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190. is Arnold.
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191. It's time for
the royal battle.
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192. Set 'em up!
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193. You should back out
now, Arnold,
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194. while you still
have the chance.
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195. If you're in, I'm in.
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196. It's your choice.
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197. Shovel the cheese.
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198. Three in a row
and Jack Be Nimble.
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199. Those kind of lucky cards
don't come around too often.
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200. It wasn't lucky.
I studied hard.
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201. This'll be a good time
for you to quit.
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202. I'm not going to quit,
Gerald.
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203. I have a hat man
and a pirate.
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204. Give me the hat man.
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205. I'll offer you a Bigfoot
or a shiny knight.
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206. I'll take
the shiny knight.
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207. Round four.
You're staying
in the game?
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208. Yes, Gerald.
I'm staying in the game.
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209. You're getting in deeper
and deeper.
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210. I'm getting in deeper
and deeper?
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211. Gerald, you couldn't
be in any deeper.
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212. Look at yourself.
You've been totally
changed by this game.
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213. You're like
a different person.
Your roll.
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214. You're gonna pretend
you don't hear me?
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215. Your roll.
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216. What is it about
this game, Gerald?
Talk to me!
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217. Roll the dice,
or get out!
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218. Final declaration.
What do you risk?
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219. What do you risk,
Arnold?
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220. You're risking it all?
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221. Are you sure you know
what you're doing?
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222. I know what I'm doing.
That's crazy!
You could lose everything.
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223. You could end up
the lowest of
the low pawns!
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224. You're crazy, Arnold.
You'll be a dungeon pawn.
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225. You have to devote
the next six months of
your life serving the king.
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226. Hey, take it easy!
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227. Come on, Arnold,
don't do it!
Back out while you can.
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228. No. If you're in,
then I'm in.
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229. I've already lost
my best friend
to this game.
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230. And this is
only a game.
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231. So I figure,
what does it
really matter?
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232. Come on, King.
Finish him.
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233. Make him a dungeon pawn!
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234. You play this game
really well.
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235. But what does it
all mean?
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236. Are you gonna risk
our friendship
just for a game?
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237. Come on, King.
Finish him!
Yeah!
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238. Your move, Gerald.
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239. I fold.
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240. No, King! No!
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241. Why'd you do it,
King? Why?
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242. It's mine.
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243. I'm really sorry, man.
I guess you were right.
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244. I can't believe
it took over my life.
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245. Yeah, you were
pretty hooked.
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246. I just want everything
to go back to normal.
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247. That's all I want, too.
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248. By the way, what cards
were you holding?
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249. Six unhappy uncles.
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250. I knew it.
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251. Finally!
Yes!
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252. Oh, I have to pee
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253. like a screaming Comanche!
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254. Oh, boy,
our weekend fishing trip.
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255. Just us men
and the boys.
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256. We should have done this
a long time ago!
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257. You said it, Phil!
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258. This'll really give us
a chance to bond
with our boys
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259. and show 'em
a great time!
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260. How many fish
do you think we'll catch?
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261. Well, this time of year,
the river's loaded
with rainbow trout.
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262. When I was a boy,
I caught so many,
I couldn't eat 'em all.
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263. Oh! It's like a dream.
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264. When I was growing up,
I spent every summer
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265. practically living
in these mountains.
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266. Fishing, hiking,
climbing trees!
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267. It's like second nature
to me!
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268. Easy does it, son.
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269. Oh, don't worry, Dad,
I've got it.
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270. Whoa! Ow, oh...
(GRUNTS) Ow!
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271. Eugene!
Are you okay?
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272. (ECHOING)
I'm okay.
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273. He's okay.
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274. Perfect campsite,
huh, Phil?
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275. You said it!
Woo!
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276. Hey, watch where
you're poking
that tent pole!
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277. Look! There's another camp
over there.
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278. Whoa! They've got
a swimming pool,
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279. cabanas with fireplaces,
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280. and a big buffet table!
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281. Ah, that's for softies.
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282. What we're doing
is real camping.
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283. Well, we still got
an hour or so
of daylight left.
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284. What do you say
we get in some fishing
before it gets dark?
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285. Yeah, yeah!
(CHUCKLES)
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286. (GRUNTS) This isn't
exactly what I thought
we'd be doing
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287. when we planned
this fishing trip.
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288. Yeah, I thought
we were supposed
to be eating fish
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289. instead of these worms.
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290. You're not supposed
to eat the worms.
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291. They're the bait.
I was hungry.
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292. Good news, boys.
We caught
a bucketful of worms
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293. and we're ready
to go fishing.
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294. Yay!
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295. Unfortunately, we're losing
daylight. We're gonna
have to wait until tomorrow.
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296. Hmm, I think
it's this way.
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297. Well, if it isn't,
we'll just double back
and try again.
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298. I'm so hungry.
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299. We got plenty of food
back at the camp.
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300. Hey, look,
it's a cute little bear!
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301. And he's got
my sleeping bag.
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302. What the heck happened?
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303. Looks like the bears
got to our food.
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304. Don't worry, we still
got 65 cans of beans.
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305. Good beans.
Very good beans.
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306. Pass the beans.
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307. Is it just me,
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308. or is this trip not exactly
turning out the way
we planned?
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309. This trip stinks!
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310. Whoo! In more
ways than one.
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311. Come on, you guys,
it's just the first day.
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312. Tomorrow, we'll catch
some fish.
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313. Oh, forget it!
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314. I wanna go home.
Yeah, me too.
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315. We can't go home.
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316. Our dads are having
such a good time.
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317. We can't disappoint them.
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318. (SIGHS) Arnold's right.
No matter how bad
things get,
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319. we can't let our dads
know we're miserable.
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320. We have to pretend
we're having a good time.
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321. Yeah, you're right.
(MULTIPLE FARTS)
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322. Is it just me,
or is this trip not
exactly turning out
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323. the way we planned?
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324. Maybe we should
pack up and go home
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325. and just forget about...
What?
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326. Go home,
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327. and lose this kind
of freedom?
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328. Listen, I know
conditions aren't ideal,
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329. but if we went home now,
our boys would be
horribly disappointed.
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330. They're having
the time of their lives!
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331. Martin's right!
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332. We can't let 'em down!
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333. So basically,
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334. we'll keep up a good
front for the boys' sake?
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335. That's what
it looks like.
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336. Oh, look!
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337. A dead owl.
Breakfast!
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338. Ow!
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339. Um, excuse me,
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340. that's my swimsuit!
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341. Oh, look.
A fish caught Sid!
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342. I got it!
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343. Oh!
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344. Did I just throw
that fish in the river?
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345. Oh, look!
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346. A cute little squirrel!
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347. Let's eat him!
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348. Here, little squirrel!
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349. Ahh! Ahh!
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350. Oh, no,
you'll get rabies!
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351. You'll go mad
and start foaming
at the mouth!
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352. Rabies? Ah!
Am I gonna die?
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353. No, Harold,
you're not gonna die.
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354. The skin wasn't
even broken.
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355. There's no way you'd
get rabies from
that raccoon.
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356. Yes, he could! It's just
like that show,
When Animals Bite.
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357. He'll infect us all!
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358. Oh, knock it off!
The boy's fine!
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359. Let's fish...
For the halibut.
(CHUCKLES)
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360. Whoa! We got a customer!
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361. Oh, it feels big.
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362. Whoa,
we're gonna eat tonight!
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363. It's a giant trout!
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364. Oh, it's a monster!
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365. It's a boot.
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366. Stupid beans!
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367. I wish I had
some real food!
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368. Oh! Whipped cream!
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369. Mad boy! Mad boy!
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370. Harold has rabies!
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371. Whatever you do,
don't get
near his mouth!
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372. Not the mouth!
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373. No, no, no,
it's just whipped cream.
I found it.
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374. You ate old
whipped cream?
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375. Uh, actually,
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376. it's shaving cream!
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377. Oh, I'm so stupid!
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378. I hate this.
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379. All we're doing
is eating beans,
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380. sleeping in the dirt,
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381. and not catching
any fish!
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382. This isn't any fun
at all!
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383. Oh, yeah.
Now we're having fun!
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384. (SNIFFING)
I smell hamburgers!
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385. (DELIRIOUSLY)
Hamburgers!
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386. Oh, man.
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387. I wish I was there
instead of here.
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388. I'm nauseous
with desire.
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389. Don't forget
about the banana
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390. monkey chunk fudge
ripple ice cream cake,
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391. now being served
in our heated pool.
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392. Banana monkey chunk fudge
ripple ice cream cake,
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393. in a pool!
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394. A heated pool,
brother!
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395. A heated pool,
brother.
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396. Let's go!
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397. Let's go right now!
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398. Harold, what about
our promise?
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399. We all agreed to
stick together, remember?
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400. Arnold's right. Our dads
would be pretty disappointed
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401. if we just ran away
and left 'em here.
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402. Yeah, I guess
Arnold's right.
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403. Last call for
the delicious ice cream cake
now being served
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404. in the heated pool!
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405. (ALL SIGHING)
Oh, my knees are weak!
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406. My knees are fake.
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407. What the heck
are we doing here?
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408. Let's go down
to the resort!
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409. But guys, what about
our promise?
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410. We all agreed to
stick together,
remember?
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411. Martin's right.
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412. Our boys would be
pretty disappointed
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413. if we ran away
and left them here.
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414. Yeah, Martin's right.
Yeah, that makes sense.
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415. I just know we'll
wake up tomorrow
to a better day.
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416. If we make it
till tomorrow.
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417. Oh! Ahh!
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418. Uh! Uh! Ah! Ah! Ah!
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419. Talk about ironic,
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420. Well, men,
the bad news is,
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421. we're out of beans.
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422. But I got good news!
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423. We found a whole bunch
of delicious skunk cabbage!
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424. Ugh!
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425. Steak.
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426. Oh, Mommy!
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427. Oh, it smells so good.
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428. And they got
a huge campfire!
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429. And look,
it's singing sensation
and former Monkee, Davy Jones!
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430. Can you believe it,
Harold?
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431. Harold?
Where's Harold?
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432. Juicy steak...
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433. Singing sensation
Davy Jones,
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434. I'm coming!
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435. I can't believe you!
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436. You broke our pact!
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437. And even worse than that,
why didn't you take me
with you?
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438. I thought we agreed
that we were gonna
stick together.
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439. I'm sorry, I have
no self-control!
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440. Boys!
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441. We made a bonfire!
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442. Hey, what do you say
we tell some scary stories?
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443. How about the one
about the haunted florist?
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444. Yeah, I guess we could
hear that one again.
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445. We've got a nice,
warm fire going.
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446. So, who's got
a scary story?
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447. You wanna hear
a scary story?
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448. I'll tell you
a scary story.
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449. It's about some boys
and their dads.
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450. They wanted to go
on a nice fishing trip
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451. and have a great time.
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452. But they didn't
catch any fish.
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453. And then
they got lost,
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454. and then some bears
ate their food,
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455. so they had to eat
cold, slimy, beans
out of a can,
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456. breakfast, lunch
and dinner,
day after day.
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457. And every night, they all
just kept farting
and farting and farting.
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458. Sure, it was funny
at first,
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459. but then it just smelled
and it was horrible.
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460. And then their tents
blew away,
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461. and it started to hail,
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462. and all the frogs
came out!
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463. Gosh, you know,
that story sounds
awfully similar
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464. to what happened
to us!
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465. That's because it is
what happened to us.
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466. Wait a minute.
You're not
having a good time?
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467. We hate it!
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468. It's like we're living
in a nightmare!
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469. We were just pretending
to be having a good time
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470. so we wouldn't hurt
your feelings.
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471. That's sort of
a coincidence.
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472. We've all
been pretending, too.
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473. for your sake, boys.
You're kidding.
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474. You mean, you were
as miserable as us?
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475. That's right.
(FARTS)
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476. Well, what do you say
we blow this pop stand
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477. and have some
real fun?
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478. Whoa! Oh!
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479. Banana monkey chunk
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480. fudge ripple
ice cream cake!
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481. And now, please welcome
a very special treat.
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482. Singing sensation
and former Monkee,
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483. Davy Jones!
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484. Good evening
ladies and gentlemen,
boys and girls.
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485. We've had lots
of requests tonight,
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486. but, ha,
we're gonna sing anyway!
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487. Hey, do you know
Miss Susie Had a Tugboat?
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488. Oh, that one's
not usually on
the playlist, but,
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489. I'll give it a shot.
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