1. They'll find him.
He's a tough, old bird.Copy !req
2. He won't go down
without a fight.Copy !req
3. I bet you
two dollars he's dead.Copy !req
4. What's going on?Copy !req
5. It's about Dino.
Dino?Copy !req
6. There was an
accident, short man.Copy !req
7. (ON TV)
Ted, as daylight
fades on the Sound,Copy !req
8. so do the last
lingering hopes
of rescue workers,Copy !req
9. friends and fans
that aging singer,
Dino Spumoni,Copy !req
10. might still be
found alive.Copy !req
11. Oh, no.Copy !req
12. Spumoni remains missing
after reportedly
falling overboardCopy !req
13. during an outing
on his yacht
early this morning.Copy !req
14. As we await
word on his fate,Copy !req
15. let's take a look back
at the singer's career.Copy !req
16. The 67-year-old crooner rose
to tremendous popularityCopy !req
17. in the '50s
and early '60s.Copy !req
18. Topping the charts
with such hits asCopy !req
19. "You Better
Not Touch My Gal."Copy !req
20. A member of the
notorious Rat Pack,Copy !req
21. Spumoni also had numerous
run-ins with the police.Copy !req
22. After serving
five days in jailCopy !req
23. in 1965 for assaulting
a photographer,Copy !req
24. the singer
was philosophical.Copy !req
25. Dino!Copy !req
26. It was the worst joint
I ever stayed at.Copy !req
27. Outside of Pittsburgh.Copy !req
28. But in all seriousness,Copy !req
29. I learned my lesson.Copy !req
30. You won't see
Dino going aroundCopy !req
31. punching out
photographers anymore.Copy !req
32. In the mid 60s,
despite the growing popularityCopy !req
33. of rock n' roll and
so-called psychedelic music,Copy !req
34. Spumoni tried
to stay on the chartsCopy !req
35. by adapting his style
to the times.Copy !req
36. Trippin' with DinoCopy !req
37. failed to attract
many young fansCopy !req
38. and turned off
some of his loyal
older supporters.Copy !req
39. Nevertheless,
Spumoni continued
to live the good life.Copy !req
40. A favorite of
the rich and famous,Copy !req
41. he was also
a frequent guest
at the White House,Copy !req
42. where he reportedly
had the ear
of the president.Copy !req
43. Hey, Lyndon!
I got your ear.Copy !req
44. (CHUCKLING)
Cut that out.Copy !req
45. Let go, you big
Italian nutjob.Copy !req
46. Sick him, Yuki.Copy !req
47. After his
third marriage
ended in the mid '70sCopy !req
48. and his record
and concert sales
began a steady decline,Copy !req
49. Spumoni struggled to keep
his failing career afloat.Copy !req
50. Duets in the '80s
with Run-DMC,
Guns N' RosesCopy !req
51. and Tiffany
gave the singer
momentary boosts.Copy !req
52. But in recent years,Copy !req
53. Spumoni's career
has bottomed out.Copy !req
54. The singer's personal life
has fared no better.Copy !req
55. His fifth marriage
to beautician Candy MaldonadoCopy !req
56. ended in divorce
just six months ago.Copy !req
57. But while others abandon
the one-time pop star,Copy !req
58. one man stood by him,
Don Reynolds,Copy !req
59. his long-time
songwriting partner
and devoted friend.Copy !req
60. I always hated him.Copy !req
61. He's a selfish,
lowlife ingrate.Copy !req
62. I hope he's dead.Copy !req
63. And now,
as I read this report
just handed to meCopy !req
64. the coast guard
has officially
called off the search,Copy !req
65. confirming what has been
all but a foregone conclusion.Copy !req
66. Dino Spumoni,
American entertainer,Copy !req
67. legend and petty criminal,Copy !req
68. is dead at the age of 67.Copy !req
69. I can't believe...
(OSKAR LAUGHING)Copy !req
70. I win the bet!Copy !req
71. You owe me
two dollars.Copy !req
72. He was a great singer.Copy !req
73. A giant.Copy !req
74. And finally,
there's late word that
a note has been foundCopy !req
75. believed to have been
written by Spumoni
only last night.Copy !req
76. It reads,
"I got nothing left.Copy !req
77. "My career is a bust
and so is my personal life.Copy !req
78. "I took my best shot,Copy !req
79. "but in the end,
it all came to nothing.Copy !req
80. "So now that I'm all alone
and washed up,Copy !req
81. "I might as well say,
Sayonara, baby."Copy !req
82. The note is signed
simply, "Dino."Copy !req
83. Back to you, Ted.Copy !req
84. It's just so sad.Copy !req
85. Yeah, I know.
But these things happen.Copy !req
86. It's all part of
the great mystery of life.Copy !req
87. Can we go
to the funeral?Copy !req
88. Well, of course,
we can go to
the funeral, short man.Copy !req
89. It would be
wrong not to go.Copy !req
90. After all, Dino
started his careerCopy !req
91. right here
in the boarding house.Copy !req
92. We all knew
and loved him.Copy !req
93. Plus, there's bound to be
lots and lots of free food!Copy !req
94. Oh, boy. I hope there's
shrimp cocktail.Copy !req
95. Grandpa, remember.Copy !req
96. Don't make any jokes.Copy !req
97. Everyone's here
to pay their respectsCopy !req
98. and talk about
how much they liked
and cared about him.Copy !req
99. You got it.Copy !req
100. What can you say
about a guy like Dino?Copy !req
101. He was a mean,
bitter, selfish,Copy !req
102. arrogant, back-stabbing
and nasty human being.Copy !req
103. But, Dino had
another side to him.Copy !req
104. He was also
a sniveling coward.Copy !req
105. I think youse all know me,
Candy Maldonado Spumoni,Copy !req
106. Dino's last ex.Copy !req
107. Dino and I had
two really
great years together.Copy !req
108. Then we got married.Copy !req
109. Then after that
we got divorced,Copy !req
110. and I made
a whole pile of money.Copy !req
111. Anyways, we
had our good times.Copy !req
112. And even though
he was gone a lot
out on the road,Copy !req
113. he wasn't a bad guy.Copy !req
114. Oh, yeah,
and he was
really okayCopy !req
115. with my wonderful
son, Jimmy.Copy !req
116. Jimmy really loved Dino.Copy !req
117. Can we go now?Copy !req
118. (YELLING)
In a minute!Copy !req
119. In conclusion,
it's real sadCopy !req
120. about Dino's
untimely passing.Copy !req
121. But I know he's
looking down on us nowCopy !req
122. from a beautiful cloud
up in heaven.Copy !req
123. Okay, that's it.Copy !req
124. Everybody is invited
back to the house to eat.Copy !req
125. Hotdog, I knew it!Copy !req
126. Shrimp cocktail!Copy !req
127. Oh, sweet Jiminy. Mm.Copy !req
128. Who's in heaven now?Copy !req
129. Grandpa?
Arnold, look, shrimp cocktail.Copy !req
130. Dino's lawyer just
invited me to
the reading of his will.Copy !req
131. Maybe Dino
left you something,Copy !req
132. like an ashtray
or a lawn gnome.Copy !req
133. I guess it might be nice
to have something
to remember him by.Copy !req
134. Yeah, it will.Copy !req
135. Especially if it's
a lawn gnome,
now try this shrimp, Arnold.Copy !req
136. No, thanks, Grandpa.Copy !req
137. Oh, come on.
It's good!Copy !req
138. "As for my
remaining paintingsCopy !req
139. "and other
assorted collectibles,Copy !req
140. "I leave them to
be divided equallyCopy !req
141. "amongst my five ex-wives,Copy !req
142. "except Bunny,
who gets jack squat."Copy !req
143. Oh, nuts!
Take me home,
Chooch.Copy !req
144. "Because I have
no children of my ownCopy !req
145. "and because I owe
a pile in alimony,Copy !req
146. "I leave the remainder of
my existing cash and assetsCopy !req
147. "to my most recent
ex-wife, Candy."Copy !req
148. Yes!
Can we go now?Copy !req
149. In a minute!Copy !req
150. And finally,
Mr. Spumoni
has directedCopy !req
151. in his last will
and testament that...Copy !req
152. Oh, boy. "All earnings
from future salesCopy !req
153. "of my records, videos
and all other mediaCopy !req
154. "current and in perpetuityCopy !req
155. "in this universe
or in any otherCopy !req
156. "including planets
inhabited and, or,
ruled by apes,Copy !req
157. "shall we be awarded
to my one good
and loyal friend, Arnold."Copy !req
158. What?Copy !req
159. "In addition,
I'm leaving Arnold
my collection of custom suitsCopy !req
160. "and a box of assorted
personal mementos."Copy !req
161. Well, it won't amount
to much money, Arnold.Copy !req
162. Dino's records
aren't selling.Copy !req
163. But it was nice of him
to think of you.Copy !req
164. Why would he leave
all this personal stuff to me?Copy !req
165. Maybe it was just a whim.Copy !req
166. Or maybe he's getting
senile in his old age.Copy !req
167. Or maybe he just likes you.Copy !req
168. Maybe.
Shrimp cocktail?
It's from the funeral.Copy !req
169. (CHUCKLES)
Those rubber
pockets paid off.Copy !req
170. Look at all this.Copy !req
171. His old pictures
and records.Copy !req
172. Ooh, a paperback copy
of I, the Jury.Copy !req
173. I'll just hang on to this
for you until you turn 10.Copy !req
174. It's almost like Dino
left his whole life
in my hands.Copy !req
175. Not his whole life.Copy !req
176. Just a bunch
of his old things.Copy !req
177. There's a big difference.Copy !req
178. Lives are messy.
Old things are fun.Copy !req
179. Take me,
for example.Copy !req
180. I just wish I could
have done something.Copy !req
181. Oh, Arnold.Copy !req
182. I heard
your friend died.Copy !req
183. Yeah.
Well, don't
feel bad.Copy !req
184. I mean, he was
an old guy.Copy !req
185. And that's what
old guys do.Copy !req
186. They die.Copy !req
187. And besides,
he wasn't that good
of a singer, anyway.Copy !req
188. Psst.Copy !req
189. Huh?
Who said that?Copy !req
190. Over here.
Who's there?Copy !req
191. It's me, Dino.Copy !req
192. Come on.
Who is that?Copy !req
193. Iggy,
is that you?Copy !req
194. No, it's me, Dino.
Dino Spumoni.Copy !req
195. What? But, I mean,
you can't be, Dino.Copy !req
196. In the flesh, baby.
But you're
supposed to be...Copy !req
197. Dead? I know.
But I'm not.
I'm alive and kicking.Copy !req
198. Only, everybody
thinks I'm dead, except you.Copy !req
199. It's all part
of my plan.Copy !req
200. Your plan?Copy !req
201. That's right. My plan.
I'll tell you all about it.Copy !req
202. First I need a favor.Copy !req
203. Yeah, this will
do just fine.Copy !req
204. So, let me
get this straight.Copy !req
205. You faked your own death?
That's right.
I faked my own death.Copy !req
206. All part of my plan.Copy !req
207. I jumped overboard
and swam to shore.Copy !req
208. Nobody knew
I could swim. Nobody.Copy !req
209. But I've been taking lessons
on the sly for weeks.Copy !req
210. That was the key, baby.
The key.Copy !req
211. I knew they all
figured I was a goner.Copy !req
212. But why?
Record sales.Copy !req
213. I don't get it.
It's simple.Copy !req
214. My record sales
were down.Copy !req
215. It was like
I was a forgotten man.Copy !req
216. Old, washed up,
a has-been.Copy !req
217. Then it hit me.Copy !req
218. Most artists don't
get really famous
till after they're dead.Copy !req
219. Take that crazy painter.
What's his name?Copy !req
220. Van Gogh.Copy !req
221. Works all his life,
never sells a painting.Copy !req
222. They day after he croaks.
Bing, bam, boom.Copy !req
223. Every schmo in town
starts ponying up big dough
for his pictures.Copy !req
224. The poor clown
gets rich and famous
practically overnight.Copy !req
225. That's what
gave me the idea.Copy !req
226. I fake my own death,Copy !req
227. my records start
selling like Van Goghs.Copy !req
228. But I got one up
on that carrotCopy !req
229. 'cause I'm not
really dead.Copy !req
230. How are you gonna
get the money
from your record salesCopy !req
231. if everybody
thinks you're dead?Copy !req
232. That's where you come in.Copy !req
233. See, I figure I leave
all the money to you.Copy !req
234. You cash my checks
and bring back the green.Copy !req
235. But what about
your family, your friends
and your career?Copy !req
236. How could you just
give up your whole life?Copy !req
237. What life?Copy !req
238. Five ex-wives,
a career in the toilet,
a house I can barely pay for.Copy !req
239. Sixty-seven years I spent
putting a life together.Copy !req
240. And what did it come to?
Bupkis, baby.Copy !req
241. But, Dino, you made everybody
think you were dead.Copy !req
242. I mean, a lot of people
felt really sad about it.Copy !req
243. It was kind of
a mean thing to do.Copy !req
244. Hey, what do you
want from me?Copy !req
245. It was the only way.
I had to do it.Copy !req
246. Well, what are
your plans?Copy !req
247. I mean, you won't
be able to go out
or see anybody.Copy !req
248. Oh, well, I hadn't
thought of that.Copy !req
249. At least I'll have
the green, baby.Copy !req
250. 'Cause you'll be
cashing my checks.Copy !req
251. 'Course, I'll give you
10% for your trouble.
That's only fair.Copy !req
252. That's okay, you don't
have to pay me anything.Copy !req
253. Don't be a chump.Copy !req
254. Take the money,
cash the checks
and bring 'em back here.Copy !req
255. It's a perfect plan.Copy !req
256. I'll live here
in the boarding houseCopy !req
257. just like I used to
when I first got started.Copy !req
258. My records will
sell like hot cakes,
we'll both rake in the cashCopy !req
259. and everything
will be fine.Copy !req
260. Dino, I think
your whole plan
is crazy.Copy !req
261. I think you should
just tell everyone
you're still alive,Copy !req
262. and apologize
and get on
with your life.Copy !req
263. Ah, what do you know?
You're just a kid.Copy !req
264. My plan is
fool-proof. Trust me.Copy !req
265. But, what if
the boarders hear you?Copy !req
266. Tell 'em it's rats.Copy !req
267. The next thing
I know, it's gone.Copy !req
268. A whole hoagie.Copy !req
269. It just vanished
into thin air.Copy !req
270. Now, tell me
that's not strange.Copy !req
271. Strange. Really strange.Copy !req
272. And I'm always
hearing noises.Copy !req
273. Humming noises.Copy !req
274. It's very creepy.Copy !req
275. I heard something
moaning in the basement.Copy !req
276. So I got up my courage,Copy !req
277. and I got Suzie to
go down and investigate.Copy !req
278. But when she
went down there,
it was gone.Copy !req
279. Maybe, it's... Rats?Copy !req
280. Rats? There's no rats
in the boarding house.Copy !req
281. Except Oskar.
That's right.
There's no rats.Copy !req
282. Hey!Copy !req
283. But, Dino, they're
starting to get suspicious.Copy !req
284. They've heard noises...Copy !req
285. Okay, okay, relax.Copy !req
286. From now on,
I'll be extra careful.Copy !req
287. Quiet as a mouse,
I promise.Copy !req
288. Trust me, nobody's ever
gonna know I'm here.Copy !req
289. Who's that
in the shower?Copy !req
290. I told you something funny
is going on around here.Copy !req
291. Looks like
the jig's up, kid.Copy !req
292. You knew
about this, Arnold?Copy !req
293. Yeah.Copy !req
294. I knew about it,
Mr. Potts.Copy !req
295. Well, how long
did you think you
could keep it from us?Copy !req
296. Well, Dino didn't...Copy !req
297. I mean, if the ghost
of Dino Spumoni
is drifting around,Copy !req
298. haunting our own house,
that's something
you tell people.Copy !req
299. Ghost?
That's right.
A ghost!Copy !req
300. Dino's ghost!Copy !req
301. Uh, that's right.
I'm a ghost.Copy !req
302. The ghost
of Dino Spumoni.Copy !req
303. And I just want
to let youse all knowCopy !req
304. now that I'm a ghost,
I'm living here now.Copy !req
305. And if you
don't like it,Copy !req
306. youse can all
just lump it.Copy !req
307. Capiche?
We capiche.Copy !req
308. This is ridiculous.
They think
you're a ghost.Copy !req
309. I know,
it's perfect.
I'm a ghost.Copy !req
310. I can come and go
any time I feel like it.Copy !req
311. I can play music,
write songs,Copy !req
312. and make as much noise
as I want without
anybody bothering me.Copy !req
313. But it's all a lie.Copy !req
314. You're not a ghost,
and you're not dead.Copy !req
315. You're just pretending.Copy !req
316. Why don't you
come out of hidingCopy !req
317. and let everybody know
you're still alive?Copy !req
318. What are you,
a mamaluke?Copy !req
319. I got a good thing going.
I'm a ghost.Copy !req
320. What could
be more perfect?Copy !req
321. Ah, crud.Copy !req
322. The ghost
of Dino is angry.Copy !req
323. We must offer him
a big fish.Copy !req
324. To make him
not so angry.Copy !req
325. His stomach will be full,
and then he will go away.Copy !req
326. That's the stupidest
idea I ever heard.Copy !req
327. Let's do it.Copy !req
328. With this
offering of a fish,Copy !req
329. I pray that
the ghost of DinoCopy !req
330. will find peace
and go to a better place.Copy !req
331. And we will not be
haunted by his angry wrath.Copy !req
332. Boo.Copy !req
333. This is just
like the old days
when I was starting out.Copy !req
334. Writing songs
for the fun of it.Copy !req
335. I was living right here
in the boarding house.Copy !req
336. I'd work all day
at my lousy
construction job,Copy !req
337. come home,
iron my one good shirt,
polish my shoes,Copy !req
338. put on my second-hand suit,Copy !req
339. go down and play
late night clubs
for peanuts.Copy !req
340. Those were the days.
Sounds great.Copy !req
341. Hey, get a load of this.
It's brand-new.Copy !req
342. The words are pretty screwy,
but the melody swings, baby.Copy !req
343. I can't wait to
play it at the Palace.Copy !req
344. Yeah, that would be nice.Copy !req
345. Except, you can't
play it at the Palace.Copy !req
346. Why not?
Because you're dead.Copy !req
347. Oh, yeah. I forgot.Copy !req
348. Then I guess nobody
will ever hear any of these
new songs I've been writing.Copy !req
349. Ah, well,
what's the difference?Copy !req
350. Nobody wanted to
hear my songs
when I was alive.Copy !req
351. Why would they want
to hear 'em now
when I'm dead?Copy !req
352. I'll see you around, kid.Copy !req
353. Grandpa,
can I talk to you?Copy !req
354. I don't know. Can you?
It's about Dino.Copy !req
355. I'm not supposed
to tell anybodyCopy !req
356. but the truth is,
Dino's not really a ghost.Copy !req
357. Oh, I know.
You know?Copy !req
358. Of course, I know,
I may be feeble-minded,
but I'm not stupid.Copy !req
359. How did you know?Copy !req
360. Ghost don't take showers.Copy !req
361. Oh.
They take baths.Copy !req
362. So you don't mind
if Dino stays
in the boarding house?Copy !req
363. Dino's in the boarding house?
Good gravy! We can't...Copy !req
364. Kid, I'm kidding.Copy !req
365. Arnold, these
are the jokes.Copy !req
366. He's pretending
to be deadCopy !req
367. because he thinks that
nobody cares about himCopy !req
368. or his music anymore.Copy !req
369. And I told him
it was crazyCopy !req
370. but he wouldn't
listen to me.Copy !req
371. That's because
he's an idiot.Copy !req
372. He's acting like
a big baby.Copy !req
373. But don't worry,
he just needs time to
work out his problems.Copy !req
374. He'll come around.
I guess you're right.Copy !req
375. You know, for a 9-year-old,
you sure like toCopy !req
376. take the weight of the world
on your shoulders.Copy !req
377. You ought to
be out playing
with your little friends.Copy !req
378. Why don't you
go out right nowCopy !req
379. and play some stickball,
or go see a movie?Copy !req
380. Grandpa, it's 2:00
in the morning.Copy !req
381. There's always a downside
with you, isn't there?Copy !req
382. It's simply
the height
of must-do.Copy !req
383. What's going on?Copy !req
384. Oh, Arnold.
Haven't you heard?Copy !req
385. It's only the hottest
ticket in town.Copy !req
386. Everyone who's anyone
is going.Copy !req
387. Dino Mania,
not the real DinoCopy !req
388. but an incredible simulation.Copy !req
389. Younger and better-looking
than the original.Copy !req
390. Now playing at the Roxy.Copy !req
391. What a bunch of crap.Copy !req
392. He's getting
really big.Copy !req
393. A lot of people
are going.
(GROANS)Copy !req
394. He's playing
all your old songs,Copy !req
395. and dressing
and acting like you.Copy !req
396. He's selling out concerts,
and even making records.Copy !req
397. Let him try.
"Dino Mania."
Oh, brother.Copy !req
398. I know that bum.
He's a two-bit
wedding singer.Copy !req
399. It'll never last.Copy !req
400. The public will
know the difference.
Trust me.Copy !req
401. Everybody! I bought tickets
for Dino Mania. My treat!Copy !req
402. Hey. Great!Copy !req
403. I've been
wanting to see that.Copy !req
404. Shh. Don't tell the ghost.Copy !req
405. (ON TV) Not Dino,
but an incredible simulation.Copy !req
406. Dino Mania,
you'll get all the hits,Copy !req
407. including "Smashed",
"The Doll Can Swing"...Copy !req
408. Look at that punk.
Where does he get off
doing my act?Copy !req
409. Ray Doppel,
the star of Dino ManiaCopy !req
410. has become an
overnight sensation,Copy !req
411. selling out concert halls,
making television appearancesCopy !req
412. and hit recordsCopy !req
413. featuring cover versions
of Dino Spumoni's songs.Copy !req
414. He takes his new role
so seriouslyCopy !req
415. that he prefers
to be called Dino.Copy !req
416. Even when he's
not performing.Copy !req
417. Call me Dino.Copy !req
418. Amazingly, the new Dino
has even startedCopy !req
419. dating the old Dino's
most recent ex-wife.Copy !req
420. What?Copy !req
421. Candy Maldonado Spumoni.Copy !req
422. He's an incredible
stimulation.Copy !req
423. He's going out with Candy.
And look, that clown
is in my house!Copy !req
424. He's wearing
my kiss-the-cook apron.Copy !req
425. He's playing
with my dog!Copy !req
426. Call me Dino.Copy !req
427. That's it. I can't
take any more of this.Copy !req
428. Why don't you do
something about it?Copy !req
429. What are you talking about?
What could I do?
I'm dead, remember?Copy !req
430. I'm history,
a has-been, a ghost!Copy !req
431. You could come back
if you wanted to.Copy !req
432. Ah, what for? I got
a good thing going here.
Why mess it up?Copy !req
433. You've got a little room
in a boarding house
and a hot plate.Copy !req
434. The only person on the planet
who doesn't think you're
either dead or a ghost is me.Copy !req
435. Like I said,
I got a good thing going.Copy !req
436. You said your old life
was so bad.Copy !req
437. But, now that somebody else
is living it for you,Copy !req
438. it kind of sounds
like you're jealous.Copy !req
439. Jealous? You're crazy.Copy !req
440. Was your life
really that badCopy !req
441. that you're willing
to just give it all up?Copy !req
442. The Palace.
And step on it.Copy !req
443. You know something?Copy !req
444. You look just like
that gentleman
Dino SpumoniCopy !req
445. who kicked the bucket.Copy !req
446. How about that?Copy !req
447. Excuse me, sir.
Where's your ticket?Copy !req
448. Oh, that's okay.
I don't need a ticket.Copy !req
449. I know, I know.
You're Dino Spumoni.Copy !req
450. That's right.Copy !req
451. Look, you wanna pretend
you're Dino Spumoni,
that's okay with me.Copy !req
452. But if you want to see
the concert, you gotta
have a ticket.Copy !req
453. You don't understand.
See, I'm the real Dino.Copy !req
454. Yeah, yeah.
Get in line
with the other ones.Copy !req
455. What are you talking about?
What other ones?Copy !req
456. How's youse all doing tonight?
I'm Dino Spumoni.Copy !req
457. And I want to
welcome everybody
to my little shindig.Copy !req
458. You know, in all my years
as Dino Spumoni,Copy !req
459. the one thing that's
meant the most to meCopy !req
460. is the love I feel
from my fans.Copy !req
461. The way you've always
accepted and embraced me,Copy !req
462. Dino Spumoni, well,
I've gotta tell you,Copy !req
463. it just knocks me out.Copy !req
464. In fact, if you took
all the love there is
in this roomCopy !req
465. and put it
in a rocket ship,Copy !req
466. it could fly
around the moonCopy !req
467. and all the way back
to the solar system.Copy !req
468. If Dino were alive
to see this clown,
he'd go crazy.Copy !req
469. Dino, you big jerk.Copy !req
470. (CRYING)
I miss you, buddy.Copy !req
471. Why did you
have to die?Copy !req
472. (SHUSHES)
Sorry.Copy !req
473. Here's a little number
that I, Dino Spumoni,Copy !req
474. have been
singing for years.Copy !req
475. Dino?Copy !req
476. You stole my act,
you two-bit punk.Copy !req
477. What do you
think you're doing?Copy !req
478. You're not supposed
to be here. You're dead!Copy !req
479. And this is
my concert.
I'm Dino now.Copy !req
480. In your dreams,
you fake.Copy !req
481. Ladies and gentlemen,
I want to apologizeCopy !req
482. for the disturbance
here this evening.Copy !req
483. Uh, the thing is,
I'm Dino Spumoni.Copy !req
484. The real Dino,
not an impersonator,Copy !req
485. not a simulation,
not a ghost.Copy !req
486. Hey, Oskar,
he's not dead.Copy !req
487. I want my
two bucks back.Copy !req
488. I know, I know.
It's kind of a shock.Copy !req
489. And I want you all to know,
I'm real sorry about
that whole "I'm dead" thing.Copy !req
490. It was just a crazy
cockamamie plan I had
that didn't work out.Copy !req
491. It took a good friend of mine,
a kid named Arnold,Copy !req
492. to make me see
how stupid I wasCopy !req
493. to throw away
a whole life and careerCopy !req
494. just 'cause I was
going through a rough patch.Copy !req
495. But, anyway,
that's all over now,
and I'm back.Copy !req
496. That is, if anyone
still wants me back
after what I did.Copy !req
497. Thank you.Copy !req
498. Thank you very much.Copy !req
499. Well, youse all
came to see a show.Copy !req
500. Seeing as how I just
KO'd the headliner,Copy !req
501. maybe I could fill in.Copy !req
502. I mean, I may
not be Dino ManiaCopy !req
503. but I am an
incredible simulation.Copy !req
504. This here
is a new song
about the old days.Copy !req
505. Days when I was
just starting out.Copy !req
506. The days before I sold out
and became a big, fat joke.Copy !req
507. The days when I
used to really swing.Copy !req
508. Tony, give me a C.Copy !req
509. Stick with me, baby,
'cause we're going places.Copy !req