1. Here we go.
Arnold.Copy !req
2. Hey, Arnold!Copy !req
3. Hey, Arnold!Copy !req
4. Arnold.Copy !req
5. Arnold.Copy !req
6. (SIREN WAILING)
Arnold.Copy !req
7. Arnold.Copy !req
8. Move it, football head!Copy !req
9. Hey, Arnold!Copy !req
10. MR.
Students, this week,Copy !req
11. in our continuing health
and nutrition unit,Copy !req
12. we are going to be
talking aboutCopy !req
13. the importance
of a balanced diet,Copy !req
14. and the effects
different foodsCopy !req
15. have on both our physical
and mental well-being.Copy !req
16. Arnold,
my little bookworm,Copy !req
17. how keen you are,
how studious.Copy !req
18. how diligently you
take notes in your little
schoolboy's notebook.Copy !req
19. If only I could find
the nerve to tell youCopy !req
20. how much I worship
that giant, oblong brain
of yours.Copy !req
21. Oh, but alack,
I can never tell.Copy !req
22. Oh, Arnold,
my daydreaming dream weaver.Copy !req
23. How contemplative you are,
how curious.Copy !req
24. How romantically you gaze
out your bedroom windowCopy !req
25. reflecting and musing.Copy !req
26. If only I could
find the strengthCopy !req
27. to march up to your door
and tell you how much I admireCopy !req
28. your freewheeling
lack of focus.Copy !req
29. If only... if only...Copy !req
30. Helga?Copy !req
31. That's right, Arnold,
it's me, Helga G. Pataki.Copy !req
32. the girl who's always
staring at you from across
the crowded room.Copy !req
33. The girl who's constantly
lurking in the shadows,
spying on you.Copy !req
34. The girl who's forever
stalking you, and
following you home.Copy !req
35. Standing here
on your stoop,Copy !req
36. ready to confess unto you
my most hallowed of secrets.Copy !req
37. Oh, Arnold,
don't you see?Copy !req
38. Despite the fact
that I may act
like a total loon,Copy !req
39. in reality, I'm
just a shy girlCopy !req
40. afraid to tell you
that I absolutely adore you.Copy !req
41. Yes, Arnold,
you heard me correctly.Copy !req
42. I'm positively mad for you.Copy !req
43. I'm mad as a hatter,
utterly nutty,
gaga in love.Copy !req
44. I have been
since the very first timeCopy !req
45. I laid eyes
on that wonderfully plumpCopy !req
46. little football head of yours.Copy !req
47. Only, until now, I've been
too shy to tell you the truth,Copy !req
48. too bashful to come out and
say that I love you, Arnold.Copy !req
49. I love you. (ECHOING)Copy !req
50. (BREATHING HEAVILY) Hi.Copy !req
51. Sheesh, Mom,
what did you do?Copy !req
52. Forget to go shopping again?Copy !req
53. Hey! Earth to Miriam!
Huh?Copy !req
54. There's no food around here.Copy !req
55. Oh, yeah.
Oh, I know, honey.Copy !req
56. It's an awful story really.Copy !req
57. You see, I went to the store
this afternoon,Copy !req
58. and I did a little shopping,
only I... (CHUCKLING)Copy !req
59. accidentally left
the groceries
on the roof of the car.Copy !req
60. When I pulled away,
everything just spilled
all over the road.Copy !req
61. And I just...
Fascinating, Miriam.Copy !req
62. Now what am I
supposed to eat?Copy !req
63. Oh gosh, yeah.Copy !req
64. Uh, well, let's see.Copy !req
65. Um, oh, I think there's
some of your dad's
pork rinds in the cabinet.Copy !req
66. Pork rinds? Get real, Miriam.Copy !req
67. I'm not eating pork rinds.Copy !req
68. Mmm... Hey,
these are pretty good.Copy !req
69. Oh!Copy !req
70. Eh... I gave at the office.Copy !req
71. Who was it, Grandpa?Copy !req
72. Oh, just one of those
pesky door-to-door
religious groupsCopy !req
73. with their fast-talking
paper flowers, Short Man.Copy !req
74. Oh.Copy !req
75. What in the world
am I doing here?Copy !req
76. One minute I'm in my room
eating a snack,Copy !req
77. and the next thing I know,
I'm knocking
on Arnold's front door.Copy !req
78. (GASPS) Criminy!Copy !req
79. This is exactly
like in my daydreamCopy !req
80. when I confessed
my love to him.Copy !req
81. Oh, man,
my unconscious desiresCopy !req
82. must have somehow
taken over my bodyCopy !req
83. and caused me
to sleepwalk to Arnold's,Copy !req
84. so that I could confess to him
my deepest, darkest secret.Copy !req
85. And unless I want my life
to be completely over,Copy !req
86. I'd better make sure
it doesn't ever happen again.Copy !req
87. But how?Copy !req
88. Now, even if I do
sleepwalk again,Copy !req
89. I won't be able
to get to Arnold's,Copy !req
90. and I won't be able
to confess my secret.Copy !req
91. It's perfect.Copy !req
92. (LAUGHING)
Oh, Eleanor.Copy !req
93. I just can't tell you
how wonderful it is
to see you again.Copy !req
94. It reminds me of the days
when we used to
have brunch at Campobello.Copy !req
95. Aah!Copy !req
96. Grandma?
Who are you talking to?Copy !req
97. Oh, just
Eleanor Roosevelt, dear.Copy !req
98. But she was called away
on official White House
business,Copy !req
99. and jumped out the window.Copy !req
100. It's like a nightmare.Copy !req
101. This time I actually
went inside his house.Copy !req
102. And who knows
what I might have said.Copy !req
103. That's it. From now on,
I'm just gonna
have to stop sleeping.Copy !req
104. That way I can't sleepwalk,Copy !req
105. and if I don't sleepwalk,
then I can't blab
my secret to Arnold.Copy !req
106. Right. Stop sleeping.Copy !req
107. That is the plan.Copy !req
108. Class, today,
we are going
to investigateCopy !req
109. those very delicious,Copy !req
110. but not necessarily
nutritious edibles known as...Copy !req
111. Yes, the snack foods.Copy !req
112. Helga, are you okay?Copy !req
113. Of course, I'm okay, Phoebe,
what are you talking about?Copy !req
114. Well, nothing, it's just
that you seem rather
perky this morning.Copy !req
115. Perky?
Oh! (GIGGLING)Copy !req
116. Must be the entire thermos
of coffee I just drank.Copy !req
117. Coffee? Since when
do you drink coffee?Copy !req
118. Now that I'm completely
wired on caffeine,Copy !req
119. staying awake should be
a piece of cake.Copy !req
120. Hey, hows about you
speed it up in there?Copy !req
121. Yes, save some
for the fishes.Copy !req
122. Must be that jerk
from number eight.Copy !req
123. Huh? (SHRIEKS)Copy !req
124. Hey! Oh sure.
Now you're in a hurry.Copy !req
125. (IN DEEP VOICE)
Excuse me.Copy !req
126. That is the last straw.Copy !req
127. This whole thing has gotten
completely out of control.Copy !req
128. I mean, waking up
in Arnold's shower?Copy !req
129. Talk about crazy.Copy !req
130. I'd better get
some professional help.Copy !req
131. Sleepwalking?Copy !req
132. (SHUSHING) Yes!
You know, sleepwalking.Copy !req
133. Wandering around
in the middle of the nightCopy !req
134. like some kind
of zombie freak.Copy !req
135. Gosh. That's odd, Helga.Copy !req
136. Where exactly
have you been going?Copy !req
137. Just... (SIGHS)
Never mind that, okay?Copy !req
138. All you need to know
is that this is serious.Copy !req
139. Well, how serious exactly?Copy !req
140. Let's put it this way, Phoebe.Copy !req
141. If I don't stop sleepwalking,Copy !req
142. I could wind up revealing
my most intimate,
guarded secret.Copy !req
143. (GASPING) You mean...Copy !req
144. Yes! But let's not
talk about it, okay?Copy !req
145. Now, what are
you gonna do
to help me out?Copy !req
146. Now should you attempt
to leave the roomCopy !req
147. at any time
during the night,Copy !req
148. you'll be forced
to step directly
on top of me.Copy !req
149. And I'll instantly wake up
in time to save you.Copy !req
150. And in the meantime,
I'll observe you.Copy !req
151. Then I'll better understand
what is causing
your somnambulism.Copy !req
152. Oh, criminy, Phoebe.Copy !req
153. That has got to be
the worst idea
I've ever heard.Copy !req
154. Trust me, Helga.Copy !req
155. I'm an extremely
light sleeper.Copy !req
156. And as long as I'm here,Copy !req
157. there's no way you're
getting through that door.Copy !req
158. Now, how about a nutritious
bedtime health snack
to settle your nerves?Copy !req
159. (SCOFFS)
Don't worry.Copy !req
160. I've got my health snack
right here.Copy !req
161. Oh, dear.Copy !req
162. (GASPS)
Helga!Copy !req
163. I've got to stop her
before she does
the unthinkable.Copy !req
164. Gosh, Helga's moving
awfully fast.Copy !req
165. If I'm going
to stop her in time,Copy !req
166. I'm gonna have
to take a shortcut.Copy !req
167. Oh, no!Copy !req
168. Oh, Arnold,
don't you see?Copy !req
169. Despite the fact
that I may act
like a total loon...Copy !req
170. I've got to stop her.Copy !req
171. utterly nutty,
mad as a hatter,Copy !req
172. gaga in love.Copy !req
173. Helga.Copy !req
174. Now I've been too shy
to tell you the truth,Copy !req
175. too bashful
to come out and sayCopy !req
176. that I love you,
Arnold.Copy !req
177. No!Copy !req
178. Love you.Copy !req
179. Phoebe? Where am I?Copy !req
180. You were sleepwalking again.Copy !req
181. You climbed
Arnold's fire escape
and you were talking to himCopy !req
182. through his window.Copy !req
183. Well, what did I say?
Did I tell him
anything important?Copy !req
184. I'm afraid so.Copy !req
185. You mean...
Yes, Helga.Copy !req
186. You told him everything.
Hello?Copy !req
187. Hello?Copy !req
188. Uh, what's going on?Copy !req
189. Oh...Copy !req
190. I was asleep
and then I heard a crash,
and I woke up.Copy !req
191. Oh, wait a minute.
A crash?Copy !req
192. You mean,
that's all you heard?Copy !req
193. Yeah, a crash.Copy !req
194. So, what's happening?
What are you guys doing?Copy !req
195. "Doing"?Copy !req
196. (SCOFFS)
What does it look like
we're doing, hair boy?Copy !req
197. We're taking a walk.Copy !req
198. Taking a walk
on my fire escape?Copy !req
199. That's right,
football head,Copy !req
200. on your fire escape.Copy !req
201. It's a free country.Copy !req
202. We can walk
wherever we feel like.
Right, Phoebe?Copy !req
203. Right.
Let's go.Copy !req
204. Whatever you say, Helga.Copy !req
205. "Excessive ingestion
may cause sleeping disordersCopy !req
206. "including sleeplessness,
narcolepsy, seep apnea,Copy !req
207. "and in some cases,
severe sleepwalking!"Copy !req
208. You mean, it's not
because of...Copy !req
209. You mean, I'm cured?Copy !req
210. Precisely.Copy !req
211. So the whole time
I was sleepwalking,Copy !req
212. it was because of pork rinds.Copy !req
213. (GIGGLING)
How about that?Copy !req
214. Yep. It's amazing
what strange effects
certain foodsCopy !req
215. can have on the human body.Copy !req
216. Um, Phoebe?Copy !req
217. Yes, Helga?Copy !req
218. Speaking of strange,
this whole thing,Copy !req
219. it never happened.
Got it?Copy !req
220. Forgetting.Copy !req
221. This is
Fighting Families,Copy !req
222. the incredibly popular
family game show.Copy !req
223. The show that
asks you to perform
crazy physical competitionsCopy !req
224. while answering
challenging trivia questions.Copy !req
225. Dasher, Dancer, Prancer,
Vixen, Comet, Cupid,
Donner, and Blitzen.Copy !req
226. All right!Copy !req
227. I'm here today
to choose one family
from P.S. 118.Copy !req
228. to compete against the family
of a student from P.S. 119Copy !req
229. for big, big prizes!Copy !req
230. And now, the moment
you've all been waiting for.Copy !req
231. And the winner isCopy !req
232. Arnold... Um...Copy !req
233. Hmm. There seems to be
a smudge over the last name.Copy !req
234. That must be you, Arnold,Copy !req
235. on account of you're
the only kid named Arnold
in this whole dang school.Copy !req
236. Arnold! Arnold!Copy !req
237. Arnold,
it's gonna be a blast.Copy !req
238. What could you possibly
be worried about?Copy !req
239. My family.Copy !req
240. So? You have
a "non-traditional family."Copy !req
241. It's no big deal.
TV loves that kinda thing.Copy !req
242. Yeah, but I bet no one
at the boarding houseCopy !req
243. is gonna wanna be
on a game show.Copy !req
244. Are you kidding?Copy !req
245. I love game shows.Copy !req
246. They are flashy and fun!Copy !req
247. Bring it on, Groucho!Copy !req
248. What about the prizes?
Do we get cash?Copy !req
249. Or glamorous vacations?Copy !req
250. Well, it says we can win
some inline skates,Copy !req
251. or a bicycle,
or personalized book bags.Copy !req
252. Whoa! Sounds great, Short Man.Copy !req
253. When is the game show, Arnold?
This Saturday.Copy !req
254. Oh, shoot! I've got
a double shift Saturday.Copy !req
255. That's okay, Suzie.Copy !req
256. 'Cause I can only bring
Grandma and Grandpa,
and two siblings.Copy !req
257. That means
I have to pick just
two of the boarders.Copy !req
258. Pick me, Arnold.Copy !req
259. Look, you guys.Copy !req
260. Whoever I pick has to be
able to work with the others
on the team.Copy !req
261. We'll all have to act
like we're a family.Copy !req
262. No problem.Copy !req
263. Yes, we are family.Copy !req
264. A really close family.
(LAUGHING)Copy !req
265. ♪ Camptown ladies
Sing this songCopy !req
266. Morning, Arnold.
Oh, I can't wait
for the beauty pageant.Copy !req
267. It's actually
a game show, Grandma.Copy !req
268. Hey, Arnold.Copy !req
269. What's going on?Copy !req
270. I just wanna sayCopy !req
271. that I am clearly
the best choice
to be on your team.Copy !req
272. I am a very good
game show choice.Copy !req
273. I speak three languages.Copy !req
274. Plus, I can do this.
Big deal.Copy !req
275. Get a load of this.Copy !req
276. Not bad, huh?Copy !req
277. So, what can you do, Oskar?Copy !req
278. I can quack like a duck.Copy !req
279. Quack quack.
(LAUGHING)Copy !req
280. So, Arnold, who do you pick?Copy !req
281. Idiot number one,
two or three?Copy !req
282. I have to go to school.
I'll tell you later.Copy !req
283. They're already
starting to fight about it.Copy !req
284. Now what am I gonna do?Copy !req
285. So, they all wanna
be on your team?Copy !req
286. Yeah.Copy !req
287. Hey, Arnold.
My cousin Stinky
over at P.S. 119Copy !req
288. gave me the dirt
on the family you're
supposed to compete againstCopy !req
289. in that game show.
Really?Copy !req
290. Yeah, they're smart
and good-looking.Copy !req
291. And they all dress
in matching white jumpsuits.Copy !req
292. In a word,
they're perfect, Arnold.Copy !req
293. The perfect family.Copy !req
294. Good luck, Arnold.
Hope your non-traditional
family does 'em bad.Copy !req
295. Hey, Arnold,
how was school?Copy !req
296. By the way, I'm very good
with facts and trivia.Copy !req
297. Did you know it took
2873 bricks to make
this boarding house?Copy !req
298. No.Copy !req
299. I thought perhaps you'd be
interested in this amazing
physical skill of mine.Copy !req
300. Not bad, huh?Copy !req
301. You could carry me
around the block
if you wanted to.Copy !req
302. That's really great,
Mr. Potts.Copy !req
303. Now I have homework to do.
MR. Homework?Copy !req
304. I am a great mathematician.
Can I be on your team?Copy !req
305. Get away, Hyunh!Copy !req
306. I can do square roots.Copy !req
307. Quack quack.
Hey, Arnold, have you
picked me yet?Copy !req
308. Mercury, Venus, Earth,
Mars, Jupiter, Saturn,
Uranus, Neptune, Pluto.Copy !req
309. The planets, in case
you're doing your
science homework.Copy !req
310. I'll see
you guys at dinner.Copy !req
311. MR. Arnold!
Look, Arnold.Copy !req
312. Look at me.Copy !req
313. Pookie, you can
stop auditioning.Copy !req
314. You already made the squad.Copy !req
315. Quite a freak show,
huh, Short Man?Copy !req
316. And maybe you better
decide sooner
rather than later.Copy !req
317. Everybody, can I
have your attention?
Please?Copy !req
318. Thank you.Copy !req
319. I have thought about it.Copy !req
320. And I've decided to pick
Ernie and Mr. Hyunh.Copy !req
321. to be on the team with me and
Grandma and Grandpa.Copy !req
322. But what about me?Copy !req
323. Well, Mr, Kokoshka,
you can come as...
As an alternate.Copy !req
324. An alternate?Copy !req
325. Oh, boo! I'm leaving.Copy !req
326. I knew I'd get picked.
In your face, Hyunh.Copy !req
327. What do you mean?
Arnold picked me too.Copy !req
328. But he said my name first.Copy !req
329. You are just an idiot.Copy !req
330. You guys, please,
the contest is tomorrowCopy !req
331. and we're gonna
be on national TV.Copy !req
332. So, it'd be really great
if you didn't fight
the whole time.Copy !req
333. We gotta work together
as a family. Okay?Copy !req
334. Sure then.Copy !req
335. Absolutely.Copy !req
336. Ladies and gentlemen,
boys and girls,Copy !req
337. welcome to Fighting Families.Copy !req
338. And here are today's
two fighting families!Copy !req
339. From P.S. 119, say hello
to Cindy and her family,Copy !req
340. Carl, Cheryl, Chucky,
and Candy.Copy !req
341. Wow, Stinky wasn't kidding.Copy !req
342. They are perfect.Copy !req
343. And from P.S. 118,
meet Arnold and his family,Copy !req
344. Phil, Pookie, Ernie,
and Mr. Hee-un.Copy !req
345. It's Hyunh!Copy !req
346. Yeah! All right, Arnold.Copy !req
347. Boo!Copy !req
348. Okay, families.Copy !req
349. Let's start fighting.Copy !req
350. First contest, the limbo!Copy !req
351. I'm great at the limbo.
I'll go first.Copy !req
352. I won
a limbo contest in 1936.Copy !req
353. Shh. We're on TV.Copy !req
354. Remember, we gotta
work together like a family.Copy !req
355. On three, Arnold leads
his family in the limbo.Copy !req
356. One, two, three.Copy !req
357. Oh, so close.Copy !req
358. But no points
for Arnold's team.Copy !req
359. Okay, Cindy and your family.Copy !req
360. One, two, limbo!Copy !req
361. Oh, good one, Hyunh.
You pushed me.Copy !req
362. Yeah, well, Gramps
stepped on my toe.Copy !req
363. I did not!Copy !req
364. This is stepping
on your toes.Copy !req
365. Ow!Copy !req
366. Hey! Things are not
looking good for Team Arnold.Copy !req
367. They should have picked me.Copy !req
368. Ten points to Cindy's family
for a perfect limbo!Copy !req
369. Well, that was perfect!Copy !req
370. You're all perfect.Copy !req
371. And now,Copy !req
372. each family has 15 seconds
to make a human pyramid.Copy !req
373. I'll be on the bottom.
I've a very powerful
upper body.Copy !req
374. I refuse to kneel
on Ernie.Copy !req
375. One more comment, Hyunh,
and I'll give you
a knuckle sandwich.Copy !req
376. I'll give you both
a knuckle sandwich.Copy !req
377. That's odd.Copy !req
378. I don't remember
packing any sandwiches.Copy !req
379. Come on, we only
have five seconds left.Copy !req
380. Whoa!Copy !req
381. Fantastic.Copy !req
382. Cindy, you and
your clan win
the pyramid competition.Copy !req
383. which puts you ahead
20 to nothing.Copy !req
384. But, Arnold,Copy !req
385. your family gets to answer
this consolation question.Copy !req
386. What is the coldest planet
in the solar system?Copy !req
387. Bluto! Bluto!Copy !req
388. Not Bluto,
Pluto, you moron.Copy !req
389. Pluto is correct!Copy !req
390. And that brings
our score up 5 to 20.Copy !req
391. All right. We'll be
right back after this break.Copy !req
392. Guys,
come on, please!Copy !req
393. You can't do this.
We're on TV.Copy !req
394. Not at the moment, kid.
We went to a commercial.Copy !req
395. Now listen up.
I know this show is
called Fighting Families,Copy !req
396. but you're supposed
to be fighting
the other family.Copy !req
397. Get it?Copy !req
398. Look, I told you we were
gonna have to get along.Copy !req
399. But instead, you're acting
like a bunch of babies.Copy !req
400. If we stop fighting
and work together
like a family,Copy !req
401. I bet we can still win.Copy !req
402. Come on, we don't
wanna lose to them,Copy !req
403. do we?Copy !req
404. Yes, they are really creepy.Copy !req
405. What do say? Truce?Copy !req
406. And we're back
to Fighting Families.Copy !req
407. In the next competition,Copy !req
408. our famillies go
to their podiums
to answer trivia questions.Copy !req
409. But to get there,
they have to pass throughCopy !req
410. this obstacle course.Copy !req
411. Okay, let's do it.Copy !req
412. Come on, move, move.
We're behind.Copy !req
413. But... but this is disgusting!Copy !req
414. I'm not grabbing that thing!Copy !req
415. We're here to win.
I said "move it."Copy !req
416. Move it now, missy!Copy !req
417. All right! Arnold's family has
reached their buzzer station
for ten more points.Copy !req
418. And now, the rapid fire
final round questions.Copy !req
419. For five points,Copy !req
420. name seven colors
found in a rainbow.Copy !req
421. Take it, Mr. Hyunh.
Red, orange,Copy !req
422. yellow, green, blue,
indigo, violet.Copy !req
423. Right!
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)Copy !req
424. What is the biggest
man-made structure
in the world?Copy !req
425. The Great Wall of China.Copy !req
426. Correct.Copy !req
427. Last question.Copy !req
428. If Arnold's team gets it,
we'll be all tied up.Copy !req
429. Name one great song
written byCopy !req
430. Stephen Foster.Copy !req
431. Pookie, I forbid you
to sing this song
ever again!Copy !req
432. That's correct!Copy !req
433. Camptown Races was
written by Stephen Foster.Copy !req
434. We now have a tie gameCopy !req
435. with only one
final competition.Copy !req
436. The tug of war!Copy !req
437. Ready, families?Copy !req
438. Tug!Copy !req
439. Come on, people,
little help here.Copy !req
440. I'm doing all the work!Copy !req
441. (CRYING)
My hands hurt.Copy !req
442. And stop yelling
at me, Daddy.Copy !req
443. You're scaring me.Copy !req
444. You always fall apart,
you little wuss.Copy !req
445. Ow!Copy !req
446. You're making me
look terrible!Copy !req
447. (AUDIENCE CHEERING)
And the winners,Copy !req
448. from P.S. 118
is Arnold's family.
What team work!Copy !req
449. Let's hear it.Copy !req
450. We'll see you next time on
Fighting Families.Copy !req
451. Until then,
remember, families,Copy !req
452. keep fighting.Copy !req
453. (AUDIENCE CHEERING)
Yes! We did it.Copy !req
454. Thanks, guys.Copy !req
455. Group hug.Copy !req
456. Getting a bear hug.Copy !req
457. Can I hug your leg here?Copy !req
458. I love you, people.Copy !req