Hey Arnold! 1x23

Directed by Larry Leichliter • Robert Porter

Justin Shenkarow as Harold Berman (voice) • Sam Gifaldi as Sid (voice) • Marcus Toji as Park (voice) • Carlos Alazraqui as Frankie G. / Chas (voice)

An older cool guy befriends Arnold, but Arnold realizes that he is really a shoplifter.

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1. ARNOLD!

2. HEY, ARNOLD!

3. HEY, ARNOLD!

4. ARNOLD!

5. ARNOLD!

6. ARNOLD!

7. [Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

8. and NICKELODEON]

9. AR-NOLD!

10. MOVE IT, FOOTBALL HEAD!

11. HEY, ARNOLD!

12. BOY, THAT MOVIE REALLY SUCKED WIND.

13. YEAH, WHO PLAYED

14. THE ONION, ANYWAY?

15. I DIDN'T BELIEVE HIS PERFORMANCE FOR A SECOND.

16. PLUS, IT WAS TWO HOURS LONG.

17. TWO HOURS TOO LONG, IF YOU ASK ME.

18. YEAH.

19. I CAN'T BELIEVE

20. WE PAID MONEY FOR THAT.

21. UH-OH.

22. HEY!

23. WHAT HAPPENED TO THE SUN?

24. IT WENT DOWN.

25. OH, MAN, I TOLD MY MOM I'D BE HOME BEFORE DARK.

26. SHE'S GOING TO KILL ME.

27. WE'VE GOT TIME.

28. THE STREETLIGHTS AREN'T ON YET.

29. NOW WHAT DO WE DO?

30. WE COULD TAKE THE CROSSTOWN BUS.

31. YOU MEAN THAT ONE?

32. WELL, WE COULD WALK.

33. WALK!

34. IT'LL TAKE DAYS!

35. WE'LL FREEZE TO DEATH.

36. WE'LL BE EATEN BY PIGEONS...

37. OR WORSE—

38. EATEN BY RATS.

39. YUCK! I HATE RATS.

40. WE COULD POOL

41. OUR MONEY AND TAKE A CAB.

42. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH A CAB WOULD COST?

43. IT WOULD COST

44. APPROXIMATELY $34.20

45. WITHOUT THE TIP.

46. I HAVE 82¢

47. AND SOME STRING.

48. OKAY, LET'S NOT PANIC.

49. I KNOW HOW WE CAN GET HOME

50. BEFORE ANYBODY GETS IN TROUBLE.

51. OH, NO. DON'T SAY IT, ARNOLD.

52. DON'T EVEN THINK IT.

53. TAKE THE SUBWAY.

54. WHAT DO THEY SAY

55. ABOUT THE SUBWAY AFTER DARK?

56. "THE SUN GOES DOWN, STAY ABOVE GROUND."

57. I AIN'T SCARED OF NO SUBWAY.

58. I AIN'T SCARED OF NOTHING.

59. NOPE! NO SUBWAY FOR ME.

60. NOT NO WAY, NOT NO HOW.

61. I AM NOT TAKING THE SUBWAY.

62. I CAN'T BELIEVE

63. I'M TAKING THE SUBWAY.

64. WE'RE TAKING THE EASTBOUND "D," GRANDMA.

65. YEAH, WE'LL BE HOME IN HALF AN HOUR.

66. COME ON, ARNOLD, IT'S COMING!

67. ARE YOU SURE THIS IS THE RIGHT ONE, GERALD?

68. YEP, THE "D" TO UNION PARK

69. AND THEN THE "C" THREE STOPS UNTIL 41ST AVENUE.

70. THEN SWITCH OVER TO THE "1".

71. OR DOES THAT SAY 7?

72. OH, NO, WE SHOULD REALLY BE ON THE "F"!

73. NICE GOING, GERALDO.

74. OH, THAT'S OKAY.

75. WE CAN GET OFF AT WATERLOO

76. AND TRANSFER TO "F".

77. HEY, LOOK!

78. I'M A MONKEY!

79. SEE, I TOLD YOU THIS WOULDN'T BE SO BAD.

80. THAT GUY SEEMS COMFORTABLE.

81. WHAT A SWEET LITTLE GIRL.

82. YOU SEE HOW EASY

83. THIS IS, HILLARY?

84. ONLY BY CONFRONTING YOUR CLAUSTROPHOBIA

85. WILL YOU BE ABLE TO OVERCOME IT.

86. NOW SAY YOUR MANTRA.

87. YES, DOCTOR.

88. BIG... OPEN... SPACES.

89. BIG, OPEN SPACES.

90. GOOD, HILLARY.

91. AND DON'T FORGET TO BREATHE.

92. LOOK!

93. I'M AN UPSIDE-DOWN FIREMAN!

94. GET OFF THAT POLE, FAT BOY.

95. THAT'S FOR HOLDING ON, NOT CLIMBING.

96. HEY, HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS CLIMBING?

97. WHEN THE EYES WENT, THE OTHER SENSES GOT STRONGER.

98. SPEAKING OF WHICH...

99. SWEET SISTER SADIE!

100. WHAT'S THE LAST TIME YOU TOOK A BATH?

101. WELL, FOOTBALL HEAD, YOU WERE RIGHT.

102. THE SUBWAY WAS A GOOD IDEA AFTER ALL.

103. TOLD YOU.

104. WE'LL GET HOME IN NO TIME.

105. EVERYTHING WILL BE JUST FINE.

106. HEY, THE TRAIN STOPPED!

107. NO KIDDING, EINSTEIN.

108. HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE?

109. GO AWAY!

110. Ladies and Gentlemen

111. please remain calm.

112. No need to worry.

113. BUT, OF COURSE

114. THE MAIN THING, UH

115. I-IS TO STAY CALM.

116. Even though thousands

117. of pounds of water are bearing down

118. on the thin, aging walls of this tunnel

119. you are in no danger.

120. ACTUALLY, MILLIONS OF POUNDS OF WATER

121. BEARING DOWN ON THE TUNNEL IS MORE CORRECT.

122. Actually, this has never happened to me before.

123. OH, HIMMEL!

124. THAT'S IT! WE'RE BUSTING OPEN THAT DOOR

125. AND WALKING OUT OF HERE.

126. THAT'S NOT A GOOD IDEA.

127. THERE MIGHT BE...

128. RATS!

129. We interrupt this program with a special bulletin.

130. The eastbound "D" train is stuck in a tunnel

131. with 12 people trapped on board and communication impossible.

132. More at 11:00.

133. I'M THE ONLY EX-COP IN THIS CITY

134. CRAZY ENOUGH TO TAKE ON A JOB LIKE THIS.

135. GOING OUT, POOKIE?

136. DON'T WAIT UP.

137. ALL RIGHTY, I'LL SAVE YOU SOME SUPPER.

138. AIR... GETTING... THINNER.

139. HARD TO BREATHE.

140. THEN STOP SUCKING UP ALL THE GOOD AIR, FAT BOY!

141. LEAVE THE KIDS ALONE, THEY CAN SUCK UP ALL THE AIR THEY WANT.

142. IT'S MY HOUSE.

143. GO AHEAD, FAT BOY, BREATHE DEEP.

144. ACTUALLY, IT'S IMPOSSIBLE FOR EVEN HAROLD

145. TO DEPLETE THE AIR IN THIS CAR.

146. Passengers, it may just be a matter of minutes or hours

147. or days or weeks till the rescue team

148. finds our forgotten, stranded subway car

149. and takes us out of this hopeless situation

150. so let's all remain calm...

151. Doomed! We're all doomed! Why me?

152. WE'RE ALL GOING TO STARVE TO DEATH AND GET EATEN BY RATS!

153. THIS IS CRAZY.

154. WE'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING, GERALD. GERALD?

155. I GOT TO HAVE SOMETHING TO EAT, ANYTHING.

156. Attention, passengers, an update:

157. We're doomed, we're trapped.

158. I'm talking to you from the fetal position

159. scrunched up small, rocking back and forth

160. trying to think of any way out.

161. I don't think there is. I really don't.

162. Do you think there is? No.

163. Thank you for riding the subway.

164. Have a nice day!

165. BIG, OPEN, SPACES.

166. BIG, OPEN, SPACES.

167. BIG, OPEN, SPACES.

168. BIG, OPEN, SPACES.

169. BIG, OPEN, SPACES.

170. BIG, OPEN, SPACES.

171. BIG, OPEN, SPACES.

172. BIG, OPEN, SPACES.

173. BIG, OPEN, SPACES.

174. BIG, OPEN, SPACES.

175. BIG, OPEN, SPACES.

176. BIG, OPEN...

177. SPACES.

178. WE'RE TRAPPED! TRAPPED LIKE RATS

179. AND THE TUNNEL'S GOING TO COLLAPSE

180. AND WE'RE ALL DOOMED, DOOMED, DOOMED!

181. WOULD YOU SHUT YOUR LITTLE FRIEND UP?

182. SHE'S MAKING US ALL CRAZY HERE!

183. THINK BIG, OPEN, SPACES.

184. BIG, WIDE, OPEN SPACES.

185. THAT MANTRA DOESN'T DO ANYTHING, YOU MENTAL CASE!

186. GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!

187. HEY!

188. SMELLS LIKE... CHOCOLATE.

189. DID SOMEONE SAY CHOCOLATE? WHERE? WHERE? WHERE?

190. UH... THERE!

191. HEY, YEAH. WHO'S GOT THE CHOCOLATE?

192. YOU TWO-BIT LOWLIFE!

193. WE'RE STARVING AND YOU'RE HOLDING OUT ON US!

194. CHOCOLATE!

195. COME ON, WE'RE ALL JUST GETTING HYSTERICAL.

196. LET'S JUST CALM DOWN, TRY TO HANG IN THERE TOGETHER.

197. THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, HELGA.

198. IF YOU HADN'T BEEN HANGING

199. YOUR FAT MASS OFF THAT POLE

200. WE WOULDN'T HAVE BROKEN DOWN.

201. OH, HELGA, HAROLD HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT

202. AND YOU KNOW IT.

203. YEAH, WHAT ABOUT YOU MR. LET'S-TAKE-THE-"D"-TRAIN.

204. THAT WAS BRILLIANT.

205. HEY!

206. THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG

207. WITH THIS DOG.

208. IS HE SICK?

209. WHAT IS IT?

210. SOMEBODY GET ME A NEWSPAPER.

211. HEY, HERE'S A NEWSPAPER.

212. I USED TO BE A NURSE.

213. WHAT IS IT?

214. IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH KILLER?

215. BINGO!

216. THERE, COME ON

217. COME ON, THAT'S IT.

218. ALMOST, COME ON. HERE WE GO.

219. KILLER, KILLER, ARE YOU OKAY, BOY?

220. KILLER'S ALL RIGHT.

221. BUT I THINK HE'S A SHE.

222. YOU MEAN... I'M A DADDY?

223. OH, AREN'T THEY PRECIOUS?

224. CONGRATULATIONS, DEAR.

225. IT'S A MIRACLE.

226. WE'RE SAVED!

227. WAIT A MINUTE.

228. WAIT, EVERYBODY.

229. I GOT SOMETHING TO SAY.

230. WE KNOW, WE KNOW.

231. GET OUT OF YOUR HOUSE.

232. NO, NO, NOT THAT.

233. I GOT SOMETHING ELSE TO SAY.

234. ♪ LET'S ALL HOLD HANDS

235. AMEN.

236. EVERYBODY HOLD HANDS!

237. Blind man: OH, I FEEL SO GOOD!

238. ♪ YEAH...

239. YOU THROW LIKE A GIRL, MAN.

240. YOU THROW LIKE A LITTLE SHRIMP

241. WITH STRINGY HAIR AND BIG EARS

242. AND YOUR HAT ON BACKWARDS.

243. NO, I DON'T.

244. GOT TO BE A SALTWATER TAFFY STORE

245. SOMEWHERE AROUND THIS PLACE.

246. BUT SOFT, IT'S HIM!

247. OH, IT IS MY LOVE!

248. SPENDING A LOST SATURDAY ON THE RIVER'S EDGE.

249. HOW I LONG TO SHARE YOUR REVERIE.

250. AND YET...

251. AND YET, I CAN'T GET

252. A DING-BLASTED MINUTE ALONE WITH HIM!

253. LOOK, IT'S THE GEEK PATROL.

254. GRUBBING FOR WORMS, NO DOUBT.

255. WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?

256. ELK ISLAND.

257. SO?

258. SO, HOW COME NO ONE EVER GOES THERE?

259. WELL, FOR ONE THING, IT'S HAUNTED.

260. HAUNTED?

261. HA, WHAT A CROCK!

262. IT IS NOT.

263. IT IS... TELL US.

264. THE HAUNTED CAVES OF...

265. WHEEZIN' ED.

266. IN THE TIME OF PROHIBITION

267. ON THE ISLAND THEY CALL ELK

268. THERE LIVED A GANGSTER SO RUTHLESS

269. THAT HIS NAME INSPIRED TERROR

270. ALL UP AND DOWN THE SKOOKUMCHUCK RIVER.

271. THEY CALLED HIM...

272. WHEEZIN' ED.

273. ED GOT HIS NAME FROM THE WHEEZING NOISE HE MADE

274. JUST BEFORE HE CAME UP BEHIND YOU

275. AND WRUNG YOUR NECK!

276. SOME SAY HE WHEEZED

277. BECAUSE HE SUFFERED FROM CHRONIC HEAD COLDS.

278. SOME SAY THE WHEEZING WAS CAUSED

279. BY A CHICKEN BONE LODGED IN HIS THROAT.

280. SOME SAY... HE WAS JUST FAKING IT.

281. HE BURIED HIS HUGE TREASURE

282. IN THE DAMP DIRT OF THOSE CAVES.

283. NO ONE HAS EVER FOUND IT

284. THOUGH COUNTLESS SOULS HAVE TRIED

285. AND HAVE COME TO SOME AWFUL END

286. TOO HIDEOUS TO BE SPOKEN OF.

287. FOR TO FIND THE HUGE TREASURE

288. ONE MUST DESCEND INTO THE HAUNTED CAVES OF...

289. WHEEZIN' ED.

290. THE END.

291. GOOD JOB, GERALD.

292. THANKS.

293. HOOEY! WHAT A CROCK.

294. THAT ISLAND ISN'T HAUNTED

295. AND THERE'S NO WHEEZIN' ED.

296. ARR, BUT THERE BE A TREASURE.

297. WOW, HE MUST BE ONE OF THOSE REAL-LIFE

298. GRIZZLED OLD SEA-SALT TYPE CHARACTERS.

299. NAH, JUST SHEENA'S UNCLE EARL.

300. HEY, MISTER, WHAT WERE YOU SAYING

301. ABOUT THE TREASURE?

302. HAR, HAR, HAR.

303. HERE BE A SMALL SAMPLE.

304. FOUND IT IN THE CAVES LAST TUESDAY.

305. LOOKS REAL TO ME.

306. COULD BE A 16th-CENTURY DOUBLOON!

307. WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?

308. LET'S GET A SHOVEL AND GO, MAN!

309. COME ON! LET'S GO!

310. WAIT A MINUTE, YOU MORONS.

311. HOW DO YOU PLAN TO GET THERE? SWIM?

312. ARR! I'LL GIVE YE ALL PASSAGE TO THE ISLAND

313. FOR ONE DOLLAR EACH.

314. TWO DOLLARS FOR HIM, ARR.

315. AND I'LL RENT YOU ME SHOVEL FOR AN ADDITIONAL 50 CENTS.

316. FIVE CENTS SECURITY DEPOSIT.

317. WHAT DO YOU SAY, ARNOLD?

318. YEAH, LET'S GO!

319. THIS COUNTERFEIT PENNY OPERATION WAS A GREAT IDEA.

320. YEAH, AND SETTING IT UP ON ELK ISLAND

321. WAS A STROKE OF PURE GENIUS.

322. NO ONE WILL EVER COME SNOOPING AROUND HERE

323. THANKS TO THAT WHEEZIN' ED BALONEY.

324. YEAH.

325. WHEEZIN' ED— WHAT A LAUGH.

326. I'LL BE BACK FOR YE BEFORE THE SUN SETS.

327. WE SAIL WITH THE TIDE.

328. GOOD-BYE!

329. SEE YOU LATER! THANKS.

330. LOOK!

331. ANOTHER DOUBLOON!

332. OH, WE'RE GETTING WARMER.

333. GUYS, IF THERE'S

334. BURIED TREASURE

335. IT'S PROBABLY IN THERE.

336. LET'S GO THAT WAY!

337. NO, NO, THAT WAY!

338. OKAY, OKAY

339. QUIET, QUIET...

340. QUIET!

341. HUH! IF WE'RE GOING AHEAD WITH THIS FIASCO

342. LET'S AT LEAST BE ORGANIZED.

343. WE'LL SPLIT UP INTO PARTIES OF TWO.

344. SID, YOU AND RHONDA TAKE THAT TUNNEL.

345. WHY SHOULD I GO WITH RHONDA?

346. WHY CAN'T I GO WITH HAROLD?

347. UH, 'CAUSE I GOT TO GUARD...

348. UH, OUTSIDE, THAT'S WHY.

349. ON ACCOUNT OF I'M BRAVEST.

350. GIRL.

351. HAT-ON-BACKWARDS LITTLE TWERP.

352. RIGHT! PHOEBE

353. YOU GO WITH...

354. GERALD.

355. OH. HUH?

356. OKAY.

357. WELL, SINCE YOU'RE GUARDING THE ENTRANCE

358. I GUESS I'M STUCK WITH

359. THE FOOTBALL HEAD.

360. TUH! SUIT YOURSELF.

361. HEY. WHAT'S WITH THE JELLY BEANS?

362. I'M LEAVING A TRAIL WE CAN FOLLOW BACK.

363. HA, LEAVING A TRAIL?

364. GOOD PLAN, EINSTEIN.

365. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT GUY?

366. AHH, SO SUAVE AND SO CLEVER.

367. LEAD AND I WILL FOLLOW, MY LIEGE.

368. MAYBE WHEEZIN' ED IS JUST DEAD.

369. YOU KNOW, NO GHOST OR NOTHING.

370. YEAH, RIGHT.

371. LIKE HE JUST DIED AND ROTTED

372. AND HIS BONES ARE LYING AROUND SOMEWHERE IN THIS CAVE.

373. YEAH.

374. WHAT A COMFORTING THOUGHT, SID.

375. HEY... WAIT A MINUTE.

376. I GUESS WE'RE BOTH KIND OF JUMPY, HUH?

377. SO THIS CAVE IS, UH, PRETTY COOL, HUH?

378. IT'S BEAUTIFUL, IN A DESOLATE KIND OF WAY.

379. I KEEP THINKING I'M GOING TO TURN A CORNER

380. AND FALL INTO A GIANT HOLE.

381. I DON'T THINK SO, GERALD.

382. THIS CAVE APPEARS TO BE STRIATED.

383. THIS KIND OF ROCK PERMEATION

384. WITH ITS SERIES OF SMALLER PASSAGES

385. RADIATING OUT FROM A CENTRAL GALLERY

386. MAKES A SUDDEN VERTICAL DROP UNLIKELY.

387. OH.

388. MM, GOOD.

389. PRAISE THOR, THE THUNDER GOD!

390. WAIT A MINUTE, I'M SUPPOSED

391. TO REMEMBER SOMETHING ABOUT THESE JELLY BEANS.

392. MAYBE IF I EAT A FEW MORE, I'LL REMEMBER.

393. COME ON, MORRIE, LET'S TAKE

394. THESE INTO TOWN AND TRADE THEM FOR SUPPLIES.

395. EH, SPEAKING OF SUPPLIES, VIC

396. YOU NOTICE WE SPENT MORE THAN $900 ON COPPER?

397. NOT TO MENTION MY LABOR CARVING THESE LITTLE FACES ON THEM.

398. WHAT'S YOUR POINT?

399. WELL, LOOK. MAYBE WE SHOULD MOVE UP TO

400. COUNTERFEITING DIMES, VIC.

401. OH, WHAT ARE YOU, A BIG SHOT NOW?

402. NEXT YOU'LL BE TALKING ABOUT MAKING QUARTERS.

403. COME ON, YOU BUM, LET'S GO.

404. WATCH YOUR STEP, GEEK-BAIT!

405. WELL, DON'T FOLLOW SO CLOSE THEN.

406. RIGHT. I'M HAVING THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE

407. STUCK IN SOME SMELLY CAVE WITH A FOOTBALL HEAD.

408. LOOK, WHY DON'T I TAKE THIS TUNNEL

409. AND YOU TAKE THAT ONE?

410. SEE YOU.

411. WHY? WHY CAN'T I SPEAK THE TRUTH TO THE ONE I LOVE?

412. WHY MUST I CONSTANTLY PUSH AWAY THAT TO WHICH I WOULD CLEAVE?

413. THIS IS IT!

414. IT'S NOW OR NEVER, HELGA.

415. GO!

416. CONFESS YOUR LOVE TO HIM.

417. ARNOLD! HUH?

418. I, I, I...

419. I-I-I, I MEAN...

420. MY, YOU...

421. WAIT A MINUTE— YOU HEAR SOMETHING?

422. HEAR SOMETHING?

423. IT'S WHEEZIN' ED!

424. BRAINY?

425. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

426. UH...

427. SOMETHING.

428. YUCK!

429. DON'T GET SO COZY, BUSTER.

430. SHEESH.

431. COME ON, YOU GUYS, WE SHOULD JUST GO.

432. WHAT A WASTE OF TIME.

433. AND IF THERE WASN'T A WHEEZIN' ED

434. THEN I GUESS THERE REALLY ISN'T ANY TREASURE.

435. ARE YOU OKAY, ARNOLD?

436. IS YOUR HEAD OKAY?

437. THE TREASURE OF WHEEZIN' ED!

438. HURRAY! WE'RE RICH!

439. WE'RE RICH, YAY!

440. HIGH TOPS!

441. YOU KNOW, ARNOLD

442. THESE LOOK A LOT LIKE PENNIES

443. ONLY NOT MADE AS GOOD.

444. WHAT, YOU MEAN, COUNTERFEIT PENNIES?

445. YEAH.

446. BUT WHO'D BE STUPID ENOUGH

447. TO MAKE COUNTERFEIT PENNIES?

448. HEY, YOU PUNKS

449. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

450. IT'S WHEEZIN' ED! AND...

451. AND SOME OTHER GUY!

452. COME BACK HERE!

453. YEAH, WHAT HE SAID!

454. DO YOU KNOW THE WAY OUT?

455. DON'T WORRY, GERALD

456. JUST FOLLOW THE JELLY BEANS.

457. NO!

458. HELP ME!

459. AAH!

460. HELP, PLEASE! HELP ME!

461. LOOK! WE'RE ALMOST OUT!

462. HEY, FREEZE!

463. YOU TWO ARE UNDER ARREST FOR

464. COUNTERFEITING PENNIES.

465. AW, NUTS!

466. HOW DID YOU FIND US?

467. THIS CHARACTER TRIED TO PASS OFF

468. ONE OF YOUR PHONIES.

469. ARR, TIPPING THE SERVING WENCH

470. AT IVAR'S FISH AND CHIPS.

471. RIGHT.

472. NOW GET THOSE KIDS

473. IN THE BOAT PRONTO

474. WHILE I READ THESE TWO CLOWNS

475. THEIR MIRUMBA RIGHTS.

476. HAUNTED CAVES. DOY!

477. YEAH, I GUESS

478. THERE REALLY ISN'T A WHEEZIN' ED.

479. I DON'T KNOW, GERALD

480. I JUST DON'T KNOW.

481. and NICKELODEON]