1. Arnold!
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2. Hey, Arnold!
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3. Hey, Arnold!
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4. Arnold!
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5. Arnold!
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6. Arnold!
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7. Arnold!
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8. Move it, football head!
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9. I hate this traffic jam
every morning.
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10. Hey, 13 boarders,
one bathroom.
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11. What do you expect?
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12. What about Mr. Smith?
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13. He has his own
private shower.
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14. And a great big split-
level suite.
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15. I don't like him.
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16. He thinks he's better than us
with his fancy clothes
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17. and tipping hat.
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18. Tip, tip, tip.
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19. Guy's lived here three years,
he's never said a word.
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20. Well, he's just a very
private person, Mr. Potts.
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21. Oh, yeah, yeah,
that's what they all say.
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22. Hey, Gramps, did you drown
in there or what?
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23. Mr. Smith?
Breakfast incoming.
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24. Boy, that Mr. Smith
really bugs me.
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25. Yeah, and he
eats too fast.
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26. Special room,
special meals delivered,
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27. special own shower,
special everything.
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28. Who does he think he is?
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29. Well, he does pay extra,
Mr. Kokoshka.
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30. And on time.
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31. Arnold, I think
Mr. Smith is very odd.
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32. He's creepy.
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33. He gives me the creepies.
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34. Oh, come on,
Mr. Hyunh.
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35. He's just a regular guy,
like the rest of us.
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36. Yeah, he's regular,
all right.
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37. Real regular.
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38. He's the weirdest guy
in the world.
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39. Package for
Mr. Smith.
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40. He's not here.
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41. Can I trust you
to give it to him?
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42. Sure.
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43. It must be delivered right
into Mr. Smith's hands.
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44. Nobody else can open it,
understand?
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45. Yes, sir,
don't worry.
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46. You can count on me.
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47. Hey, uh, by any chance,
is that from
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48. the Toupee of
the Month Club?
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49. Nope.
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50. Something for
Mr. Smith.
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51. Oh, really?
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52. Smith, huh?
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53. He never got a package
here before.
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54. What kind is it?
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55. Plain brown paper,
plain string.
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56. Pretty ordinary.
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57. Too ordinary,
if you ask me.
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58. I wonder what's in it.
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59. Hey, this is Mr. Smith's
private property!
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60. That guy's a freak.
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61. Give me that.
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62. (man)
He's creepy!
Real creepy!
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63. I told you, I'm not
giving you the package.
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64. It's me, Gerald.
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65. Oh.
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66. So, I hear you got a package for
that secret guy, Mr. Smith.
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67. Yeah.
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68. And I alone have been shouldered
with the weighty responsibility
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69. of its safety.
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70. Cool, let's open it.
No!
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71. Why not?
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72. Gerald, it belongs
to Mr. Smith.
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73. Yeah, and I bet there's
something really weird in there.
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74. Come on, let's open it.
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75. I don't know, Gerald.
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76. I've got to get this
package to Mr. Smith,
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77. no matter what.
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78. Come on.
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79. Let's see.
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80. What do we know about
Mr. Smith?
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81. Arnold, we know
nothing about Mr. Smith.
Well...
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82. We know he always wears one of
those weird bowler derbies.
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83. Now, where do they
sell bowler derbies?
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84. Well, the only place I know is
Toller's Bowlers on 44th.
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85. How do you know that?
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86. That's where my man
Fuzzy Slippers gets them.
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87. So... let's go!
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88. Okay, I distract
the guy,
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89. telling him I'm looking
for a bowler derby.
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90. Right.
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91. Meanwhile, I sneak a look
at his Rolodex
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92. and see if I can find
anything on Smith.
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93. Right.
Wait a minute.
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94. Why would two kids be looking
for a bowler derby?
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95. I got an idea.
Right, what is it?
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96. You'll see.
Okay.
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97. Okay.
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98. Hello, old chap,
how can I help you?
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99. I'm looking for
a certain hat.
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100. Well, you've hit
the mother lode.
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101. Now how about this one?
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102. Or this one?
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103. Ah, this one is perfect for
the particularly rare
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104. shape of your head.
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105. You look smashing,
old boy.
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106. Why, thank you.
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107. But actually, old chap,
I'm looking for something
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108. rather more like that one.
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109. Oh, all the way
up there, sir?
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110. Yes, the one with the feather,
if I may, old chap.
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111. Okay,
up there, then.
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112. Right, oh good.
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113. Now I have to go to Mount
Kilimanjaro to get a hat for
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114. this tall, slender,
frameless chap.
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115. There it is.
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116. Arnold, hang onto
that pipe for a second.
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117. Huh?
What are you, nuts?
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118. I'll just be
a second!
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119. even though it's the
first time in a month,
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120. I suppose I should be
happy I have a customer...
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121. Sanders, Salami, Sloan.
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122. Here it is!
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123. Smith!
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124. where is it now?
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125. Seven and a half...
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126. Come on, Gerald,
step on it!
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127. Is this the bowler,
si— Whoa!
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128. No!
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129. Maybe I should
get another job.
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130. Are you sure?
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131. Absolutely.
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132. It said 234 Smith Avenue.
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133. Satellite Industries?
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134. Sounds like the name of some
covert, cover-up operation
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135. for the CIA.
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136. I knew it—
He's a spy.
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137. Man, I told you.
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138. Come on.
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139. Yes?
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140. We have a package for
Mr. Smith.
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141. Which Mr. Smith?
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142. You mean there's
more than one?
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143. That's right.
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144. There's John Smith,
John Smith Sr.,
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145. John Smith Jr., John Smith
III, John Smith Esquire,
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146. John Q. Smith, John Smith-
Smith, John John Smith.
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147. Don't you have any plain
Mr. Smiths?
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148. I'm sorry, that
information is classified.
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149. Now suppose I were to tell you
I don't buy that, lady?
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150. What would you
say to that, huh?
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151. Sheesh.
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152. This has been fun.
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153. We've been on a wild goose chase
halfway across the city
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154. and we still have no idea
how to find that Smith guy.
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155. I'm not giving up, Gerald.
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156. I'm handing this package
to Mr. Smith
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157. if it's the last thing I do.
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158. Arnold, it's hopeless.
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159. You know the chances of us
finding one specific person
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160. in a huge city?
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161. A billion to one.
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162. You hear me?
A billion to one!
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163. (man)
Have a good day,
Mr. Smith.
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164. Or less.
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165. Smith! Smith!
Hey! Mr. Smith!
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166. Mr. Smith!
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167. Hurry, follow that taxi!
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168. Behind the yellow line
while the bus is in motion
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169. and get your package
outta my ear.
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170. Mr. Smith,
we have a package for you!
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171. Hey, Mr. Smith!
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172. Look!
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173. Man, that guy
is unbelievable.
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174. Okay, that's it.
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175. Eh, let's just open it
and get it over with.
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176. Come on, Arnold.
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177. No one will know.
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178. We can just tape it
back up afterwards.
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179. I just can't
do it, Gerald.
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180. Let's take the package
and go home.
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181. But what about
the boarders?
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182. Eh, they've probably forgotten
about the whole thing by now.
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183. Huh?
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184. Grandma, Grandpa,
you all right?
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185. Wait til I get my hands
on that Ernie Potts!
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186. What did he do
with my dentures?
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187. Run, boys, run!
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188. There he is!
Get him!
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189. Get it!
Yeah!
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190. I'll smash him!
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191. I want that package!
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192. Get that package!
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193. Hey, watch the hair.
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194. It's ours, get it!
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195. You guys—
What are you doing?
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196. You're acting like
bunch of animals.
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197. Well, whatever it is,
you ripped it.
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198. My family?
That's so sweet.
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199. I feel like a real heel.
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200. Package for Mr. Smith.
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201. Can I trust you
to give it to him?
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202. No!
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203. Oh, Oscar, how can you
ask me for more money?
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204. What happened to the $200
I gave you yesterday?
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205. What $200?
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206. You know very well
what $200.
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207. Oh, yeah, I remember.
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208. Some guys, they robbed me
on the subway.
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209. That's not true!
Okay, I lost it.
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210. Oscar.
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211. Oscar, I've had it.
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212. Things aren't working out
between us.
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213. I want you out.
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214. But, Susie,
you know I love you.
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215. You love yourself,
Oscar.
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216. I'm just second place.
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217. What's wrong with second place?
That's pretty good.
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218. Well, it's not
good enough for me.
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219. I'm changing my life, Oscar.
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220. I'm sticking up for myself.
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221. I'm tired of your excuses
and your lies.
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222. From now on, I'm going
to make it on my own.
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223. Susie, what about me?
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224. Where am I
going to sleep?
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225. What do you want?
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226. Listen, Ernie, you're not
gonna believe this,
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227. but Susie kicked me out.
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228. Can I stay in
your room tonight?
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229. Sure, Oscar, just as soon
as you pay me the 20 bucks
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230. you've owed me
since Christmas!
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231. Hey, Mr. Hyuhn.
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232. How's my Vietnamese-American
good buddy, huh?
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233. Listen, Susie kicked me out
and I need a place to stay.
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234. You cannot stay here.
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235. You are not
a good person.
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236. Not a good person
at all.
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237. Arnold!
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238. Oh, um, hello,
Mr. Kokoshka.
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239. Call me Oscar.
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240. I can't believe how handsome
you're getting, the way your
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241. body is growing to match the
unusual shape of your head.
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242. You must have
all the girls after you.
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243. Well, I don't know
about that.
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244. Sure they are.
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245. You must have
a sweetheart, huh?
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246. Well, not exactly.
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247. Listen, Arnold, I need a place
to stay for a few days.
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248. The room's kind of small.
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249. Thanks, Arnold,
you're a good boy.
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250. Your grandma and grandpa
must be very proud of you.
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251. I'll take the bed tonight.
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252. We can trade off tomorrow.
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253. But Mr. Kokoshka,
I don't know about this
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254. and I have to get
some sleep.
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255. Oh well, it's only
for a couple days.
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256. Sweet dreams,
Mr. Kokoshka.
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257. Thank you, Arnold.
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258. Arnold, wake up,
you sleepyhead.
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259. Time for breakfast!
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260. Look, French toast and fresh-
squeezed orange juice.
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261. Wow, gee.
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262. Thanks, Mr. Kokoshka.
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263. What happened to my French toast
and orange juice?
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264. Boy, this is really
great, thanks.
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265. By the way,
what time is it?
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266. 10:30.
What? 10:30?
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267. But my alarm!
What happened?
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268. I turned it off so
it wouldn't wake me up.
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269. I have to get to school!
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270. Oh man.
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271. I gotta go.
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272. I'll see you later.
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273. Mr. Kokoshka, would you mind
playing your saxophone
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274. some other time?
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275. I have to study
for a test.
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276. But Arnold,
I have to practice.
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277. Well, I have to study.
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278. Arnold, be reasonable.
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279. Can't we at least
compromise?
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280. I'll practice now.
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281. You can study tomorrow.
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282. But Mr. Kokoshka,
my test is tomorrow!
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283. Oh, Arnold,
good to see you.
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284. How did your test go?
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285. Not so good.
That's too bad.
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286. You should have studied.
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287. I'm making smoothies!
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288. Mr. Kokoshka,
this isn't working out.
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289. What?
I said this isn't work—
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290. Oh, Arnold,
I forgot to tell you.
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291. I'm having some friends
over to play cards.
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292. Hello, Oscar,
you old goat!
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293. How's it going, guys?
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294. Hey, nice place.
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295. Make yourselves
at home.
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296. Mi casa es su casa.
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297. (man)
Come on, ya bum, let's go.
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298. It's 40 to you, Oscar.
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299. Okay, I say go fish.
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300. Give me a break.
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301. Come on, Oscar,
it's your bet.
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302. Okay, okay,
I raise you 50.
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303. But Oscar, you don't
have any chips left.
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304. Don't worry.
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305. I bet this CD player
for collateral.
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306. Ah!
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307. Mr. Kokoshka, that's mine!
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308. Don't worry, Arnold,
I can't lose.
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309. I can't believe I lost.
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310. Yeah, who thought you'd lose
with a pair of threes?
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311. Eh, it's no problem.
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312. I'll win it all back next week
when the gang comes over.
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313. Well, actually, I've been
meaning to talk to you
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314. about that.
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315. I think maybe it's time you
thought about finding another
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316. place to live.
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317. I'm telling you, Gerald,
he's driving me crazy.
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318. I feel for you, man.
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319. I mean, between the snoring
and the saxophone,
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320. no wonder his wife
kicked him out.
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321. I just wish I
could get him to leave.
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322. Yeah, too bad you can't get him
back together with his wife.
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323. Hey, wait a minute.
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324. That's it!
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325. I'm going to get Mr. and Mrs.
Kokoshka back together!
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326. I don't know, Arnold.
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327. Messing with grown-ups' love
problems is a dangerous thing.
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328. Maybe, Gerald,
but I gotta do it.
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329. I gotta get my room back.
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330. Aw, come on, Susie.
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331. Don't you miss him
sometimes?
No.
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332. In fact, I haven't thought about
him at all since he left.
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333. Well, he's thought about you.
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334. He has?
Oh, sure.
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335. He talks about you
all the time.
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336. He does?
Yeah.
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337. In fact, he wanted me
to ask you if you'd have
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338. dinner with him tonight under
the stars on the roof.
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339. On the roof?
That's so romantic.
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340. Should I tell him
you'll be there?
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341. Hmm...
Well, all right.
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342. Dinner under the stars?
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343. Doesn't sound like Oscar.
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344. Oh, he's a changed man.
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345. Come on,
Mr. Kokoshka.
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346. It's just dinner.
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347. Forget it, Arnold.
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348. She kicked me out and as far
as I'm concerned, it's over.
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349. But Mr. Kokoshka,
she really wants to see you.
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350. She does?
Yeah, she said
she missed you.
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351. Well, that makes sense.
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352. I'm a very likeable guy.
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353. She hates me.
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354. Say something nice to her.
Copy !req
355. You know, Susie, in the
moonlight, you can barely see
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356. that big stain on
your good dress.
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357. I wouldn't have a stain
on my good dress
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358. if you hadn't used it
to polish your shoes.
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359. Oh, sure,
blame it on Oscar!
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360. Everything's always
my fault.
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361. If the shoe fits.
See?
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362. Uh, I've got an idea.
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363. Why don't you two dance?
What?
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364. Hm, Oscar hasn't
danced with me in years.
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365. Besides, he's got
two left feet.
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366. Two left feet?
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367. What is it with all
the shoe metaphors?
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368. I'll show you dancing.
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369. Grandma?
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370. Ow!
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371. Ow!
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372. Ow!
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373. Oscar, ow!
Copy !req
374. And now for the dessert.
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375. Two cherry tarts.
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376. Whoops.
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377. Guess that's only
one cherry tart.
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378. Well, we could share it,
but it's such a tiny piece.
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379. Maybe Mrs. Kokoshka
would like it.
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380. Arnold, do you have
something in your eye?
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381. You don't really want the
cherry tart, do you, Susie?
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382. Not if you want it all
for yourself, Oscar.
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383. Okay, great.
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384. Boy, this is great.
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385. You don't know what
you're missing.
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386. That's it, Oscar.
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387. You'll never change.
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388. You just don't care
about anyone but yourself.
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389. What's her problem?
She's right.
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390. You don't care about
anyone but yourself.
Copy !req
391. Oh, hi, Mr. Kokoshka.
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392. Hello, Arnold.
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393. And goodbye.
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394. I decided maybe
you're right about me.
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395. I'm going away to
find myself.
Copy !req
396. Well, are you
sure about this?
Copy !req
397. Yes, I'm sure.
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398. I'm hitting the road,
Jack.
Copy !req
399. Oh, I got your
CD player back.
Copy !req
400. Never bet on
a pair of threes.
Thanks.
Copy !req
401. But where will you go?
I don't know, Arnold.
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402. I just don't know.
Copy !req
403. By the way, I borrowed
your suitcase.
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404. I knew you wouldn't mind.
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405. Eh.
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406. Oscar?
Oh, hello, Susie.
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407. How are you?
Never better.
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408. Well, I have to go now.
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409. Oscar, is that a suitcase
in your hand?
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410. Yes, I'm going away.
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411. It's the best thing
for everyone.
Copy !req
412. But where will you go?
Copy !req
413. I don't know—
Somewhere.
Copy !req
414. Into the dark abyss
I've created for myself.
Copy !req
415. Well, if you're
really leaving,
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416. I guess you could
use some money.
Copy !req
417. Well, sure, a couple of 50s
would tide me over.
Copy !req
418. No, wait.
Copy !req
419. I can't take it.
Copy !req
420. I don't want to take it.
Copy !req
421. I can't keep on taking money
from you, Susie.
Copy !req
422. From now on, I'm going
to make it on my own.
Copy !req
423. You keep the money.
Copy !req
424. What did you say?
You keep the money.
Copy !req
425. Oh, Oscar!
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426. That's the most beautiful thing
you've ever said to me.
Copy !req
427. You keep the money?
Copy !req
428. That's the first time you
ever thought of someone else
Copy !req
429. before yourself.
Copy !req
430. You must care about me.
Copy !req
431. Oh, Oscar.
Copy !req
432. You keep the money!
Oh, Oscar.
Copy !req
433. You keep the money!
Oh, Oscar.
Copy !req
434. You keep the money!
Oh, Oscar.
Copy !req
435. Oh, Susie.
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