1. Okay. I have my warm
weather clothes and my cold weather clothes.
Copy !req
2. I have a light jacket, flak
jacket and rain jacket.
Copy !req
3. Wait. Does it rain in Heaven?
Copy !req
4. Charlie, you're only going to
Heaven for a few hours.
Copy !req
5. Vaggie, we are only going to
Heaven for a day.
Copy !req
6. And I just want to be prepared!
Copy !req
7. It's our last chance to convince
Heaven a soul can be redeemed.
Copy !req
8. Yeah, I wish I could come,
sweetie, but I have that thing.
Copy !req
9. What thing? -The thing with the...
thing, um, fuck, gah, I'm such a bad liar.
Copy !req
10. Vaggie, you're my partner.
I need you there with me.
Copy !req
11. Fine.
Copy !req
12. Yes!
Copy !req
13. Oh, fuck.
Copy !req
14. You look messy!
What happened to you?
Copy !req
15. It's who happened to me.
Copy !req
16. And the answer is everyone.
Copy !req
17. Twice!
Copy !req
18. Val had me working 16 hours
straight on a fucking whim.
Copy !req
19. The absolute dick bag.
Copy !req
20. Arghh! What the fuck is with that wall?
Copy !req
21. What up, hoes!
Copy !req
22. Ho-Holy shit, Cherri Bomb?
Long time no see, baby!
Copy !req
23. Angie, ya bitch!
Copy !req
24. You been texting me
depressing shit all day,
Copy !req
25. figured we could tear
shit up like old times.
Copy !req
26. It's been fuckin' forever!
Copy !req
27. Here hold this.
Copy !req
28. Ah! Oh my
God, oh my God.
Copy !req
29. Nope, gimme that.
Copy !req
30. I love seeing ya Cherri,
Copy !req
31. but I'm too tired.
I need to pass out.
Copy !req
32. Oho, you can sleep when you're
double dead, fuckhead!
Copy !req
33. Come on, what you
really need is a recharge,
Copy !req
34. a reinvigoration, are—
Copy !req
35. Responsible
night on the town!
Copy !req
36. That is a great idea.
Copy !req
37. Hi, Charlie.
Copy !req
38. That's my wall that
you just blew up.
Copy !req
39. It's so nice to
meet one of Angel's friends.
Copy !req
40. Aagh, he never brings
anyone around!
Copy !req
41. Wonder why?
Copy !req
42. Yeah, me too.
Copy !req
43. Anyway, Angel and everyone else
have been working so hard.
Copy !req
44. I think they deserve
to have a little fun.
Copy !req
45. W-w-wait, they?
Copy !req
46. Yeah.
Hi, everyone!
Copy !req
47. Angel and his friend
are taking you all out
Copy !req
48. for a night of fun
and relaxation!
Copy !req
49. Wait, I am only here for Ang...
Copy !req
50. Ooh! never mind.
Copy !req
51. Let's go!
Copy !req
52. Make sure they have
the best time tonight.
Copy !req
53. Anyway the portal to Heaven
should be opening right about...
Copy !req
54. now!
Copy !req
55. Bye!
Copy !req
56. Well, if it
isn't my arch-nemesis!
Copy !req
57. Have you come to meet
your fate in battle, Cherri Bomb?
Copy !req
58. Apparently, I'm going out with Angel
and I got to drag your sorry asses along.
Copy !req
59. Oh, oh, you and
me are going out back for fun?
Copy !req
60. I, I didn't think this
would ever happen.
Copy !req
61. What? What do I do?
What do I wear?
Copy !req
62. Don't fucking touch me,
you munted dickhead!
Copy !req
63. Vaggie, look
at this place.
Copy !req
64. Its soooo clean!
Copy !req
65. Isn't that amazing?
Copy !req
66. Yep.
Super cool.
Copy !req
67. Heaven.
Copy !req
68. Wow.
Copy !req
69. Hiya! Welcome to Heaven.
Copy !req
70. Can I get your name, please?
Copy !req
71. Oh! Uhhh, uh, uh,
Charlie Morningstar!
Copy !req
72. Charlie Morningstar. Hmm.
Copy !req
73. I'm not seeing you
on my list here.
Copy !req
74. That's so odd.
Copy !req
75. Uh, um, my Dad got me this meeting, so maybe—
Copy !req
76. Oh, Dad! Okay!
Copy !req
77. Try Lucifer Morning... star.
Copy !req
78. Oh, fuck!
Copy !req
79. Yeah.
Hoooo, he he he.
Copy !req
80. Yikes. Am I right?
Copy !req
81. Are you sure you're
in the right place?
Copy !req
82. Because I think
you might be a little lost.
Copy !req
83. Oh, here we go.
Copy !req
84. No, uh... we're, we're here for
a meeting.
Copy !req
85. Saint Peter.
Copy !req
86. We can take it from here.
Copy !req
87. Greetings, daughter
of the Morningstar.
Copy !req
88. I am Sera,
the High Seraphim of Heaven.
Copy !req
89. [Emily squeals
Copy !req
90. You are gifted to be here.
Copy !req
91. Hi, I'm Emily,
the other Seraphim.
Copy !req
92. Though you can call me Em!
Copy !req
93. Emmy, E, whatever you want.
Copy !req
94. I go by whatever.
Copy !req
95. Welcome to Heaven.
Copy !req
96. Dearly beloved,
Copy !req
97. it is my pleasure
to say unto thee.
Copy !req
98. Holy fucking shit balls.
Copy !req
99. Am I seeing who I
think I'm seeing?
Copy !req
100. What is she doing here?
Copy !req
101. How did she even get up here?
Copy !req
102. Who cares? I'm handling this shit right now.
Copy !req
103. Wait, you want to start a fight on
the promenade in front of everyone?
Copy !req
104. Better than waiting
for the fucking extermination.
Copy !req
105. Sir,
Copy !req
106. what was the
Seraphim's one rule?
Copy !req
107. Uuuuuugh, "no one but
the exorcists can know about exterminations"
Copy !req
108. I know, fine.
Copy !req
109. Don't fucking shush me, bitch.
Copy !req
110. You should listen to your lieutenant. Adam.
Copy !req
111. Fuck, Sera!
Copy !req
112. You can't sneak
up on a guy like that. Jeez.
Copy !req
113. Your Highness, forgive me,
but what are the hell-spawn doing here?
Copy !req
114. Well, you failed to
control the demons unrest
Copy !req
115. and now Lucifer is involved,
Copy !req
116. setting up an audience
for his misguided daughter.
Copy !req
117. I never would have agreed
to your...
Copy !req
118. yearly activities if I thought
it would bring trouble to our doorstep.
Copy !req
119. Keeping Heaven safe was
my only reason for allowing it.
Copy !req
120. What do you want from me?
Copy !req
121. I'm just one guy.
Copy !req
122. I want you to do whatever
you need to do
Copy !req
123. to keep this problem
from getting any worse.
Copy !req
124. Are we clear?
Copy !req
125. Yeah.
Copy !req
126. Got it.
Copy !req
127. Okay. I love Heaven.
Copy !req
128. Vaggie did you see
the ice cream shop?
Copy !req
129. They had sprinkles made of rainbows!
Copy !req
130. Those are just rainbow
sprinkles.
Copy !req
131. Emily's going to take me to a zoo
where all the animals are actually soft!
Copy !req
132. You coming?
Copy !req
133. Uh, I need a break.
Copy !req
134. But hug a koala for me.
Copy !req
135. O.M.G.
Can you imagine an actual koala?
Copy !req
136. Ahhh, see you later.
Copy !req
137. Huh.
Copy !req
138. Hey there Vag-asaurus!
Copy !req
139. Charlie will be back soon.
Copy !req
140. You need to get out now.
Copy !req
141. I'm not looking for the blonde,
babe. I'm looking for you.
Copy !req
142. Why?
Copy !req
143. Maybe because you left the band.
Copy !req
144. You tried for a solo career.
Copy !req
145. Or I guess it's more of a...
Copy !req
146. duet!
Copy !req
147. I don't know what you're
talking about.
Copy !req
148. Do you really think I wouldn't
recognize one of my top girls
Copy !req
149. just cause you're
out of uniform?
Copy !req
150. You were on
the front lines.
Copy !req
151. I wouldn't forget a
bad bitch like you.
Copy !req
152. It's why I named you
after the best thing ever...
Copy !req
153. Vaggie.
Copy !req
154. Actually, it's pronounced
Vaggie.
Copy !req
155. Mmmmm no!
Copy !req
156. Anyway, you sure fucked
up, didn't you?
Copy !req
157. Go, run. Now!
Copy !req
158. Sinful filth like you
has no place in Heaven.
Copy !req
159. To think someone as
worthless as you landed Lilith's little hottie.
Copy !req
160. 'Grats on that, I guess.
Copy !req
161. Their love is vile
and blasphemous.
Copy !req
162. Hot as fuck though.
Copy !req
163. But I wonder what your bitch
would think if she found out
Copy !req
164. you are actually one of us.
Copy !req
165. Hmmm?
Copy !req
166. What do you want?
Copy !req
167. Simple. You work for me again and
at the hearing you're going to help me
Copy !req
168. shut this kindergarten snowflake
bullshit down for good.
Copy !req
169. Never.
Copy !req
170. Oh, yeah
You know, that's totally cool.
Copy !req
171. I guess I'll just
tell little miss butterflies and rainbows
Copy !req
172. that she's been fucking someone
who's killed thousands of her people.
Copy !req
173. I'm sure your relationship
will be fine.
Copy !req
174. See you in court!
Copy !req
175. Oh no, not him again!
Copy !req
176. What up, baby?
Copy !req
177. Saw that you went to my manager.
Copy !req
178. Low blow Karen.
Copy !req
179. We are gathered here today to determine
Copy !req
180. whether or not a soul in Hell,
Copy !req
181. can be redeemed into the heavenly
realm by means of this Hazbin Hotel.
Copy !req
182. Princess Morningstar?
Copy !req
183. Thank you, Seraphim.
Copy !req
184. Webster's Dictionary defines
redemption as—
Copy !req
185. Objection, lame and unoriginal.
Copy !req
186. Sustained.
Copy !req
187. No further dictionary
references please.
Copy !req
188. Right, okay. Uh, uh... Uhhhh.
Mmmm.
Copy !req
189. If you have actual evidence,
then show it already.
Copy !req
190. We have a patron right now
Copy !req
191. who is making incredible
progress.
Copy !req
192. - Who?
- Angel Dust.
Copy !req
193. Oh, yeah.
The porn demon.
Copy !req
194. He's totally worth being
redeemed.
Copy !req
195. Well, if you know so much.
Copy !req
196. What do you think it takes
to get into Heaven?
Copy !req
197. Ummm, w-w-well... Uhhhh.
Copy !req
198. Is everything okay, Adam?
Copy !req
199. Give me a fucking minute, okay?
Copy !req
200. "Act selfless, don't steal,
stick it to the man."
Copy !req
201. Are you fucking serious?
Copy !req
202. Uh, yeah, sure got me here,
didn't it?
Copy !req
203. Right, Sera?
Copy !req
204. He was the first human
soul in Heaven.
Copy !req
205. Well, I bet Angel is doing
all of those things right now!
Copy !req
206. Then let's fucking see it, brah!
Copy !req
207. Your Honors,
may I present exhibit A.
Copy !req
208. Woo! Isn't this place the fucking best?
Copy !req
209. I'll admit, "Consent" is
a good name for a sex club.
Copy !req
210. Niffty, dear, what
are you doing?
Copy !req
211. I'm sweeping! Urgh, look how icky it is in here!
Copy !req
212. That's because we're
at a club, dear.
Copy !req
213. Oh! I thought the hotel looked
different!
Copy !req
214. Ms. Bomb,
I-I-I'd like to buy you a drink.
Copy !req
215. Why? Didn't you say we're arch-rivals?
Copy !req
216. Um... uh... because I'm buying
everyone a drink!
Copy !req
217. Free drinks! I love alcohol!
Copy !req
218. Good, I need a drink
after today.
Copy !req
219. You know, Val, he's into this
waterboarding shit now,
Copy !req
220. I don't know,
it's a kink.
Copy !req
221. Angel, enough with the Val
talk. He already ruined your whole day.
Copy !req
222. Don't let him ruin
your night, too.
Copy !req
223. Here, take one of these and
you won't be worrying about nothing.
Copy !req
224. Here we go.
Copy !req
225. Oh, look, the drunk sobered up
long enough to judge us.
Copy !req
226. I ain't the one trying
to get into Heaven.
Copy !req
227. Look, you want to
fuck up all your progress?
Copy !req
228. Be my guest.
Copy !req
229. I just...
Copy !req
230. I just thought you were
better than that.
Copy !req
231. Thanks, Captain Buzzkill.
Copy !req
232. Come on Angie, let's get fucked
up! It's been too long.
Copy !req
233. I, uhh, I don't know,
Copy !req
234. it's been a long night,
and I don't need to go too wild.
Copy !req
235. Hmmm.
Copy !req
236. Come on, bitch.
Copy !req
237. If you've really been working
that hard, you deserve a little R and R...
Copy !req
238. and some THC, or maybe
PCP with DMT.
Copy !req
239. Aw fuck it, let's see
where the night takes us, huh?
Copy !req
240. I... I guess.
Copy !req
241. Cherri, I bought you a shot.
Copy !req
242. B-because I bought everyone
another shot! Hooray!
Copy !req
243. Yeah, another
drink! I love alcohol!
Copy !req
244. Aah... fuck it, let's do it!
Copy !req
245. Heavenly people,
what more do you need to see?
Copy !req
246. The porn star chose a
night of debauchery.
Copy !req
247. That's not a soul worthy
of being in Heaven!
Copy !req
248. Um, objection!
Copy !req
249. Are you really telling me
you've never had a drink with friends
Copy !req
250. at the end of a hard day?
Copy !req
251. Uh, we don't have hard days?
Copy !req
252. It's fucking Heaven, bitch.
Copy !req
253. You seriously going to sit there
and pretend like this behavior is okay?
Copy !req
254. What do you think?
Copy !req
255. I— I— I have to
go to the bathroom.
Copy !req
256. What, Vaggie, can you hold it?
Copy !req
257. Angel will make good decisions.
Copy !req
258. Come
on, we have to keep watching.
Copy !req
259. Please.
Copy !req
260. Yeah. I don't know.
Copy !req
261. Yeah,
let's give him a chance.
Copy !req
262. Very well.
Copy !req
263. The court will allow it.
Copy !req
264. Fuck, yes!
Copy !req
265. I mean, heh, thank you.
Copy !req
266. Round twelve, mother fuckers!
Copy !req
267. Heels are coming off!
Copy !req
268. Haha, Oh yeah, keep 'em comin'!
Copy !req
269. Come on, right here,
right to Daddy.
Copy !req
270. Oh,
it's wonderful to have friends!
Copy !req
271. Everything's spinny, hehe.
Copy !req
272. Ha, I think
you're done, tiny.
Copy !req
273. No! Gimme gimme gimme!
Copy !req
274. Oh, come on, bitch,
she can handle a little more.
Copy !req
275. She's like ten pounds
soaking wet, and—
Copy !req
276. oh shit,
where'd she go?
Copy !req
277. Hey, fuck!
Copy !req
278. Dirty, dirty, make it clean!
Copy !req
279. Dammit, Niffty.
Copy !req
280. Sorry fellas, here,
next one's on me.
Copy !req
281. Niffty?
Copy !req
282. Shit!
Copy !req
283. Chlorine... Bleach...
Copy !req
284. Angie... the fuck are you
doing?
Copy !req
285. You're supposed to be relaxing,
not playing nanny.
Copy !req
286. Look, she ain't used
to this scene.
Copy !req
287. I just don't want her to end up
in the gutter like I used to.
Copy !req
288. Pfft, whatever, nerd.
Copy !req
289. Just catch up when you're done.
Copy !req
290. Stop!
Copy !req
291. You can't take that.
Copy !req
292. God, Niff, why are you
bein' such a mess?
Copy !req
293. I'm the mess?
Copy !req
294. Oh, oh shit! Hey, hey, hey...
calm down, ya ain't a mess.
Copy !req
295. It's fine... Ssshhh, hey,
you wanna play with the kitty?
Copy !req
296. Yeah.
Copy !req
297. The fuck is this?
Copy !req
298. She's wasted.
Copy !req
299. Just go with it.
Copy !req
300. Re-really? Ugh, get the—
Copy !req
301. Ahhh, hey, wow!
Copy !req
302. Hey, so...
Copy !req
303. I see the club
has a sex room.
Copy !req
304. So, I was thinking, maybe you'd
want to, uhm...
Copy !req
305. do ... a sex with me?
Copy !req
306. I'm sorry, why would
we have sex?
Copy !req
307. Uh... uh... Um...
Copy !req
308. because I'm
having sex with everyone here!
Copy !req
309. Wait.
Copy !req
310. Get in here.
Copy !req
311. You know, we can do this
fucking shit every fucking night.
Copy !req
312. You don't have to spend
all your off hours
Copy !req
313. "working on yourself,"
you little bitch.
Copy !req
314. The hotel isn't a problem in his
life, it's—
Copy !req
315. Valentino.
Copy !req
316. Exactly.
Copy !req
317. So why don't you—
Copy !req
318. No... Valentino.
Copy !req
319. Yeah, I'm here all the time,
they know me.
Copy !req
320. You're gorgeous... do you
need a job?
Copy !req
321. How many dicks
can you suck?
Copy !req
322. Ooh, I could
make you a star.
Copy !req
323. Let's get the
fuck outta here. Ok.
Copy !req
324. - Come on—
- Yeah, a star.
Copy !req
325. Where's Niffty?
Copy !req
326. Porn star.
Copy !req
327. Okay, yup,
bring me another drink
Copy !req
328. or I'll
fucking kill you.
Copy !req
329. Bad boy. Hehehehe.
Copy !req
330. I said I'll
fucking kill you!
Copy !req
331. Excuse me.
Copy !req
332. - Pardon me.
- And I will.
Copy !req
333. Get out of my way.
Copy !req
334. Holy
shit, Angel Dust?
Copy !req
335. What are you doing here, baby?
Copy !req
336. You didn't get enough
dick today?
Copy !req
337. Funny.
Copy !req
338. Who's this chiquita?
Copy !req
339. You bringing me fresh meat?
Copy !req
340. Oi!
Copy !req
341. I just want a taste.
Copy !req
342. Ehh, weird, but there's
a kink for that, I'm sure!
Copy !req
343. Fuck off, Val.
Copy !req
344. Excuse me?
Copy !req
345. I said fuck off!
Copy !req
346. I may have to put up
with your bullshit,
Copy !req
347. but you ain't fucking
with any of my friends.
Copy !req
348. You forget who you're
talking to?
Copy !req
349. I own you, bitch.
Copy !req
350. Yeah, you do, in the studio,
Copy !req
351. and you can do anything
you want to me there,
Copy !req
352. just like our deal says.
Copy !req
353. But out here, I get
to do what I want.
Copy !req
354. So once again,
Copy !req
355. fuck off!
Copy !req
356. Enjoy the rest of your night, bitch,
Copy !req
357. because I'm going to enjoy
Copy !req
358. making you pay for it tomorrow.
Copy !req
359. Fucking dickhead.
Copy !req
360. Fuck it.
Copy !req
361. It was worth it.
Copy !req
362. Way to go, kid.
Copy !req
363. Ow!
What the fuck?
Copy !req
364. For my collection. Hehe.
Copy !req
365. Wait up, guys!
Copy !req
366. Did you just call
these cunts your friends?
Copy !req
367. Thought that was my job.
Copy !req
368. There's room for everyone,
Copy !req
369. and ya know...
Copy !req
370. you could come crash
with us too.
Copy !req
371. Okay, look, Angie,
Copy !req
372. I'm glad this
hotel shit is workin' for you,
Copy !req
373. but you know me, bitch,
Copy !req
374. I'm doin' just fine.
Copy !req
375. In fact, I'm gonna fuck the
next guy I see, okay?
Copy !req
376. But, if you need me,
Copy !req
377. you know where to find me, yeah?
Copy !req
378. Is Cherri still here?
Copy !req
379. Dammit!
Copy !req
380. See! He did
everything on your checklist!
Copy !req
381. He was selfless,
Copy !req
382. he stopped Nifty from stealing,
Copy !req
383. and he stuck it to
that moth man!
Copy !req
384. Uhhh... Well, uh...
Copy !req
385. Then, then why
isn't he here then? Hm?
Copy !req
386. Yeah, why isn't he here?
Copy !req
387. Wait,
Copy !req
388. none of you know
what gets someone into Heaven?
Copy !req
389. This questioning
stops now.
Copy !req
390. We know when a soul arrives.
Copy !req
391. We know when they pass
divine judgment.
Copy !req
392. It is our job to ensure
Copy !req
393. these souls are safe.
Copy !req
394. Adam...
Copy !req
395. Emily!
Copy !req
396. We should go.
Copy !req
397. I'm sorry... but this
court finds that
Copy !req
398. there is no evidence souls
in Hell can be redeemed.
Copy !req
399. Oh, fuck yes! I win.
Copy !req
400. Suck it, bitches.
Copy !req
401. You better save the date cunts,
Copy !req
402. because we're coming
to your hotel...
Copy !req
403. first!
Copy !req
404. What?
No, no, you can't—
Copy !req
405. Oh, you motherfu—
Copy !req
406. Charlie! Don't
give up on this!
Copy !req
407. I'll figure something out.
I promise.
Copy !req
408. That wasn't
uncalled for, Adam.
Copy !req
409. Yeah, but did you see
the looks on their fucking faces? It was...
Copy !req
410. Ahem... sorry.
Copy !req
411. Extermination... of
human souls.
Copy !req
412. Demon or not,
there is no reason to be doing this.
Copy !req
413. They were
uprising, Emily.
Copy !req
414. It is my position as
the Head Seraphim
Copy !req
415. to protect our people
at all costs,
Copy !req
416. and it's your position
Copy !req
417. to keep them happy and joyful.
Copy !req
418. How can I bring joy when I now know
Copy !req
419. we are bringing misery
to thousands of innocent people?
Copy !req
420. Heaven needs us, Emily.
Copy !req
421. Everyone looks to us
Copy !req
422. and we can't doubt
ourselves or worry
Copy !req
423. about the fates of demons
Copy !req
424. when we have our own
souls to protect.
Copy !req
425. Please, if you start
to question,
Copy !req
426. you could end up like Lucifer:
Fallen.
Copy !req
427. I couldn't bear to see you suffer that fate.
Copy !req
428. So please, let me worry
about this, okay?
Copy !req
429. I'm sorry.
Copy !req