Hazbin Hotel 1x6

Directed by Vivienne Medrano

Jessica Vosk as Lute (voice) • Joel Perez as Valentino (voice) • Krystina Alabado as Cherri Bomb (voice) • Darren Criss as St. Peter (voice) • Patina Miller as Sera (voice)

Charlie and Vaggie make their way to Heaven to speak to Adam's manager. Meanwhile an explosive reunion gives Angel the opportunity to show how far he's come.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. Okay. I have my warm weather clothes and my cold weather clothes.

2. I have a light jacket, flak jacket and rain jacket.

3. Wait. Does it rain in Heaven?

4. Charlie, you're only going to Heaven for a few hours.

5. Vaggie, we are only going to Heaven for a day.

6. And I just want to be prepared!

7. It's our last chance to convince Heaven a soul can be redeemed.

8. Yeah, I wish I could come, sweetie, but I have that thing.

9. What thing? -The thing with the... thing, um, fuck, gah, I'm such a bad liar.

10. Vaggie, you're my partner. I need you there with me.

11. Fine.

12. Yes!

13. Oh, fuck.

14. You look messy! What happened to you?

15. It's who happened to me.

16. And the answer is everyone.

17. Twice!

18. Val had me working 16 hours straight on a fucking whim.

19. The absolute dick bag.

20. Arghh! What the fuck is with that wall?

21. What up, hoes!

22. Ho-Holy shit, Cherri Bomb? Long time no see, baby!

23. Angie, ya bitch!

24. You been texting me depressing shit all day,

25. figured we could tear shit up like old times.

26. It's been fuckin' forever!

27. Here hold this.

28. Ah! Oh my God, oh my God.

29. Nope, gimme that.

30. I love seeing ya Cherri,

31. but I'm too tired. I need to pass out.

32. Oho, you can sleep when you're double dead, fuckhead!

33. Come on, what you really need is a recharge,

34. a reinvigoration, are—

35. Responsible night on the town!

36. That is a great idea.

37. Hi, Charlie.

38. That's my wall that you just blew up.

39. It's so nice to meet one of Angel's friends.

40. Aagh, he never brings anyone around!

41. Wonder why?

42. Yeah, me too.

43. Anyway, Angel and everyone else have been working so hard.

44. I think they deserve to have a little fun.

45. W-w-wait, they?

46. Yeah. Hi, everyone!

47. Angel and his friend are taking you all out

48. for a night of fun and relaxation!

49. Wait, I am only here for Ang...

50. Ooh! never mind.

51. Let's go!

52. Make sure they have the best time tonight.

53. Anyway the portal to Heaven should be opening right about...

54. now!

55. Bye!

56. Well, if it isn't my arch-nemesis!

57. Have you come to meet your fate in battle, Cherri Bomb?

58. Apparently, I'm going out with Angel and I got to drag your sorry asses along.

59. Oh, oh, you and me are going out back for fun?

60. I, I didn't think this would ever happen.

61. What? What do I do? What do I wear?

62. Don't fucking touch me, you munted dickhead!

63. Vaggie, look at this place.

64. Its soooo clean!

65. Isn't that amazing?

66. Yep. Super cool.

67. Heaven.

68. Wow.

69. Hiya! Welcome to Heaven.

70. Can I get your name, please?

71. Oh! Uhhh, uh, uh, Charlie Morningstar!

72. Charlie Morningstar. Hmm.

73. I'm not seeing you on my list here.

74. That's so odd.

75. Uh, um, my Dad got me this meeting, so maybe—

76. Oh, Dad! Okay!

77. Try Lucifer Morning... star.

78. Oh, fuck!

79. Yeah. Hoooo, he he he.

80. Yikes. Am I right?

81. Are you sure you're in the right place?

82. Because I think you might be a little lost.

83. Oh, here we go.

84. No, uh... we're, we're here for a meeting.

85. Saint Peter.

86. We can take it from here.

87. Greetings, daughter of the Morningstar.

88. I am Sera, the High Seraphim of Heaven.

89. [Emily squeals

90. You are gifted to be here.

91. Hi, I'm Emily, the other Seraphim.

92. Though you can call me Em!

93. Emmy, E, whatever you want.

94. I go by whatever.

95. Welcome to Heaven.

96. Dearly beloved,

97. it is my pleasure to say unto thee.

98. Holy fucking shit balls.

99. Am I seeing who I think I'm seeing?

100. What is she doing here?

101. How did she even get up here?

102. Who cares? I'm handling this shit right now.

103. Wait, you want to start a fight on the promenade in front of everyone?

104. Better than waiting for the fucking extermination.

105. Sir,

106. what was the Seraphim's one rule?

107. Uuuuuugh, "no one but the exorcists can know about exterminations"

108. I know, fine.

109. Don't fucking shush me, bitch.

110. You should listen to your lieutenant. Adam.

111. Fuck, Sera!

112. You can't sneak up on a guy like that. Jeez.

113. Your Highness, forgive me, but what are the hell-spawn doing here?

114. Well, you failed to control the demons unrest

115. and now Lucifer is involved,

116. setting up an audience for his misguided daughter.

117. I never would have agreed to your...

118. yearly activities if I thought it would bring trouble to our doorstep.

119. Keeping Heaven safe was my only reason for allowing it.

120. What do you want from me?

121. I'm just one guy.

122. I want you to do whatever you need to do

123. to keep this problem from getting any worse.

124. Are we clear?

125. Yeah.

126. Got it.

127. Okay. I love Heaven.

128. Vaggie did you see the ice cream shop?

129. They had sprinkles made of rainbows!

130. Those are just rainbow sprinkles.

131. Emily's going to take me to a zoo where all the animals are actually soft!

132. You coming?

133. Uh, I need a break.

134. But hug a koala for me.

135. O.M.G. Can you imagine an actual koala?

136. Ahhh, see you later.

137. Huh.

138. Hey there Vag-asaurus!

139. Charlie will be back soon.

140. You need to get out now.

141. I'm not looking for the blonde, babe. I'm looking for you.

142. Why?

143. Maybe because you left the band.

144. You tried for a solo career.

145. Or I guess it's more of a...

146. duet!

147. I don't know what you're talking about.

148. Do you really think I wouldn't recognize one of my top girls

149. just cause you're out of uniform?

150. You were on the front lines.

151. I wouldn't forget a bad bitch like you.

152. It's why I named you after the best thing ever...

153. Vaggie.

154. Actually, it's pronounced Vaggie.

155. Mmmmm no!

156. Anyway, you sure fucked up, didn't you?

157. Go, run. Now!

158. Sinful filth like you has no place in Heaven.

159. To think someone as worthless as you landed Lilith's little hottie.

160. 'Grats on that, I guess.

161. Their love is vile and blasphemous.

162. Hot as fuck though.

163. But I wonder what your bitch would think if she found out

164. you are actually one of us.

165. Hmmm?

166. What do you want?

167. Simple. You work for me again and at the hearing you're going to help me

168. shut this kindergarten snowflake bullshit down for good.

169. Never.

170. Oh, yeah You know, that's totally cool.

171. I guess I'll just tell little miss butterflies and rainbows

172. that she's been fucking someone who's killed thousands of her people.

173. I'm sure your relationship will be fine.

174. See you in court!

175. Oh no, not him again!

176. What up, baby?

177. Saw that you went to my manager.

178. Low blow Karen.

179. We are gathered here today to determine

180. whether or not a soul in Hell,

181. can be redeemed into the heavenly realm by means of this Hazbin Hotel.

182. Princess Morningstar?

183. Thank you, Seraphim.

184. Webster's Dictionary defines redemption as—

185. Objection, lame and unoriginal.

186. Sustained.

187. No further dictionary references please.

188. Right, okay. Uh, uh... Uhhhh. Mmmm.

189. If you have actual evidence, then show it already.

190. We have a patron right now

191. who is making incredible progress.

192. - Who? - Angel Dust.

193. Oh, yeah. The porn demon.

194. He's totally worth being redeemed.

195. Well, if you know so much.

196. What do you think it takes to get into Heaven?

197. Ummm, w-w-well... Uhhhh.

198. Is everything okay, Adam?

199. Give me a fucking minute, okay?

200. "Act selfless, don't steal, stick it to the man."

201. Are you fucking serious?

202. Uh, yeah, sure got me here, didn't it?

203. Right, Sera?

204. He was the first human soul in Heaven.

205. Well, I bet Angel is doing all of those things right now!

206. Then let's fucking see it, brah!

207. Your Honors, may I present exhibit A.

208. Woo! Isn't this place the fucking best?

209. I'll admit, "Consent" is a good name for a sex club.

210. Niffty, dear, what are you doing?

211. I'm sweeping! Urgh, look how icky it is in here!

212. That's because we're at a club, dear.

213. Oh! I thought the hotel looked different!

214. Ms. Bomb, I-I-I'd like to buy you a drink.

215. Why? Didn't you say we're arch-rivals?

216. Um... uh... because I'm buying everyone a drink!

217. Free drinks! I love alcohol!

218. Good, I need a drink after today.

219. You know, Val, he's into this waterboarding shit now,

220. I don't know, it's a kink.

221. Angel, enough with the Val talk. He already ruined your whole day.

222. Don't let him ruin your night, too.

223. Here, take one of these and you won't be worrying about nothing.

224. Here we go.

225. Oh, look, the drunk sobered up long enough to judge us.

226. I ain't the one trying to get into Heaven.

227. Look, you want to fuck up all your progress?

228. Be my guest.

229. I just...

230. I just thought you were better than that.

231. Thanks, Captain Buzzkill.

232. Come on Angie, let's get fucked up! It's been too long.

233. I, uhh, I don't know,

234. it's been a long night, and I don't need to go too wild.

235. Hmmm.

236. Come on, bitch.

237. If you've really been working that hard, you deserve a little R and R...

238. and some THC, or maybe PCP with DMT.

239. Aw fuck it, let's see where the night takes us, huh?

240. I... I guess.

241. Cherri, I bought you a shot.

242. B-because I bought everyone another shot! Hooray!

243. Yeah, another drink! I love alcohol!

244. Aah... fuck it, let's do it!

245. Heavenly people, what more do you need to see?

246. The porn star chose a night of debauchery.

247. That's not a soul worthy of being in Heaven!

248. Um, objection!

249. Are you really telling me you've never had a drink with friends

250. at the end of a hard day?

251. Uh, we don't have hard days?

252. It's fucking Heaven, bitch.

253. You seriously going to sit there and pretend like this behavior is okay?

254. What do you think?

255. I— I— I have to go to the bathroom.

256. What, Vaggie, can you hold it?

257. Angel will make good decisions.

258. Come on, we have to keep watching.

259. Please.

260. Yeah. I don't know.

261. Yeah, let's give him a chance.

262. Very well.

263. The court will allow it.

264. Fuck, yes!

265. I mean, heh, thank you.

266. Round twelve, mother fuckers!

267. Heels are coming off!

268. Haha, Oh yeah, keep 'em comin'!

269. Come on, right here, right to Daddy.

270. Oh, it's wonderful to have friends!

271. Everything's spinny, hehe.

272. Ha, I think you're done, tiny.

273. No! Gimme gimme gimme!

274. Oh, come on, bitch, she can handle a little more.

275. She's like ten pounds soaking wet, and—

276. oh shit, where'd she go?

277. Hey, fuck!

278. Dirty, dirty, make it clean!

279. Dammit, Niffty.

280. Sorry fellas, here, next one's on me.

281. Niffty?

282. Shit!

283. Chlorine... Bleach...

284. Angie... the fuck are you doing?

285. You're supposed to be relaxing, not playing nanny.

286. Look, she ain't used to this scene.

287. I just don't want her to end up in the gutter like I used to.

288. Pfft, whatever, nerd.

289. Just catch up when you're done.

290. Stop!

291. You can't take that.

292. God, Niff, why are you bein' such a mess?

293. I'm the mess?

294. Oh, oh shit! Hey, hey, hey... calm down, ya ain't a mess.

295. It's fine... Ssshhh, hey, you wanna play with the kitty?

296. Yeah.

297. The fuck is this?

298. She's wasted.

299. Just go with it.

300. Re-really? Ugh, get the—

301. Ahhh, hey, wow!

302. Hey, so...

303. I see the club has a sex room.

304. So, I was thinking, maybe you'd want to, uhm...

305. do ... a sex with me?

306. I'm sorry, why would we have sex?

307. Uh... uh... Um...

308. because I'm having sex with everyone here!

309. Wait.

310. Get in here.

311. You know, we can do this fucking shit every fucking night.

312. You don't have to spend all your off hours

313. "working on yourself," you little bitch.

314. The hotel isn't a problem in his life, it's—

315. Valentino.

316. Exactly.

317. So why don't you—

318. No... Valentino.

319. Yeah, I'm here all the time, they know me.

320. You're gorgeous... do you need a job?

321. How many dicks can you suck?

322. Ooh, I could make you a star.

323. Let's get the fuck outta here. Ok.

324. - Come on— - Yeah, a star.

325. Where's Niffty?

326. Porn star.

327. Okay, yup, bring me another drink

328. or I'll fucking kill you.

329. Bad boy. Hehehehe.

330. I said I'll fucking kill you!

331. Excuse me.

332. - Pardon me. - And I will.

333. Get out of my way.

334. Holy shit, Angel Dust?

335. What are you doing here, baby?

336. You didn't get enough dick today?

337. Funny.

338. Who's this chiquita?

339. You bringing me fresh meat?

340. Oi!

341. I just want a taste.

342. Ehh, weird, but there's a kink for that, I'm sure!

343. Fuck off, Val.

344. Excuse me?

345. I said fuck off!

346. I may have to put up with your bullshit,

347. but you ain't fucking with any of my friends.

348. You forget who you're talking to?

349. I own you, bitch.

350. Yeah, you do, in the studio,

351. and you can do anything you want to me there,

352. just like our deal says.

353. But out here, I get to do what I want.

354. So once again,

355. fuck off!

356. Enjoy the rest of your night, bitch,

357. because I'm going to enjoy

358. making you pay for it tomorrow.

359. Fucking dickhead.

360. Fuck it.

361. It was worth it.

362. Way to go, kid.

363. Ow! What the fuck?

364. For my collection. Hehe.

365. Wait up, guys!

366. Did you just call these cunts your friends?

367. Thought that was my job.

368. There's room for everyone,

369. and ya know...

370. you could come crash with us too.

371. Okay, look, Angie,

372. I'm glad this hotel shit is workin' for you,

373. but you know me, bitch,

374. I'm doin' just fine.

375. In fact, I'm gonna fuck the next guy I see, okay?

376. But, if you need me,

377. you know where to find me, yeah?

378. Is Cherri still here?

379. Dammit!

380. See! He did everything on your checklist!

381. He was selfless,

382. he stopped Nifty from stealing,

383. and he stuck it to that moth man!

384. Uhhh... Well, uh...

385. Then, then why isn't he here then? Hm?

386. Yeah, why isn't he here?

387. Wait,

388. none of you know what gets someone into Heaven?

389. This questioning stops now.

390. We know when a soul arrives.

391. We know when they pass divine judgment.

392. It is our job to ensure

393. these souls are safe.

394. Adam...

395. Emily!

396. We should go.

397. I'm sorry... but this court finds that

398. there is no evidence souls in Hell can be redeemed.

399. Oh, fuck yes! I win.

400. Suck it, bitches.

401. You better save the date cunts,

402. because we're coming to your hotel...

403. first!

404. What? No, no, you can't—

405. Oh, you motherfu—

406. Charlie! Don't give up on this!

407. I'll figure something out. I promise.

408. That wasn't uncalled for, Adam.

409. Yeah, but did you see the looks on their fucking faces? It was...

410. Ahem... sorry.

411. Extermination... of human souls.

412. Demon or not, there is no reason to be doing this.

413. They were uprising, Emily.

414. It is my position as the Head Seraphim

415. to protect our people at all costs,

416. and it's your position

417. to keep them happy and joyful.

418. How can I bring joy when I now know

419. we are bringing misery to thousands of innocent people?

420. Heaven needs us, Emily.

421. Everyone looks to us

422. and we can't doubt ourselves or worry

423. about the fates of demons

424. when we have our own souls to protect.

425. Please, if you start to question,

426. you could end up like Lucifer: Fallen.

427. I couldn't bear to see you suffer that fate.

428. So please, let me worry about this, okay?

429. I'm sorry.