Hazbin Hotel 1x3

Directed by Vivienne Medrano

Lilli Cooper as Velvette (voice) • James Monroe Iglehart as Zestial Morde (voice) • Daphne Rubin-Vega as Carmilla Carmine (voice)

While the Hotel's guests and crew spend the day learning about trust, information revealed at a meeting of overlords leads to a respectless dispute.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. That looks perfect!

2. Aagh! I am so excited

3. that Sir Pentious is staying at the hotel.

4. Um... Pentious was just trying to take over the city with

5. his weird steampunk bullshit a few days ago.

6. Well, I haven't seen him try to pull any of that here.

7. What the hell is that?

8. Oh, hello, purple female.

9. It's my new invention, the "Skin Flayer 11,000".

10. I'm really looking forward to shooting the other residents.

11. What? Why?

12. Everyone is being too nice.

13. Obviously, it must be a lie.

14. I can sense they are planning to kill me, but when?

15. How? I must be prepared!

16. Ooh, the new parts of my machine are here.

17. Sign, please.

18. Thank you for your business. Enjoy your Carmine purchase.

19. Carmine? As in Carmella Carmine.

20. You are buying parts from an overlord?

21. Err, of course. She's the top weapons dealer in Hell.

22. Okay, well, that stops right now.

23. - Hey. - You absolutely cannot

24. build weapons in this hotel.

25. No one is trying to kill you.

26. People are being nice because they want you to feel welcome.

27. - Hmm. I have my doubts. - Well, it's true.

28. - You have to trust us. - But I don't.

29. Well, why don't we focus on that for today's activities?

30. Not before we lay some ground rules.

31. No more building weapons,

32. no more plotting against other guests.

33. And you need to get rid of these things.

34. Ugh! What did I just say? What did I just say?

35. What? Not my little egg boys. They do my evil bidding for me.

36. Do you want to stay here and redeem yourself?

37. - Yes. - Then no more eggs.

38. All right, eggies. You've got to go.

39. I...

40. - Can't keep you anymore. - Okay, boss.

41. No, don't resist. This is how it has to be.

42. Alastor!

43. Do you mind? I'm in the middle of breakfast.

44. Pentious's eggs are all over the place,

45. and I need you to get rid of them.

46. Oh, well, in that case, I'd be delighted to!

47. Humanely!

48. Hm. Well, that's a lot less hot,

49. but I suppose I can take care of that on my outing today.

50. Great. That looks disgusting.

51. Hi, guys. Thanks for coming.

52. It's been brought to our attention

53. that there may be a little...

54. tension in the hotel.

55. Tension that can be counterproductive

56. to what we're trying to do here.

57. We think that this group could really benefit from...

58. - Trust exercises! - Trust exercises!

59. Ah shit!

60. Vaggie, we rehearsed this.

61. We're doing trust exercises.

62. So, what's with the whole, uhhh.. This?

63. I'm not about to put on some show for these fucking chumps.

64. Oh, I will, but it's cash up front,

65. and I know that one, can't afford me.

66. Gross! I'd never think of it spider!

67. Right. Well, let's get started. Charlie?

68. Actually, I thought maybe you could take the lead on this one.

69. I trust everyone, so maybe you know better

70. about how to build it properly.

71. What? Uhh, I don't know if I'm qualified, uh—

72. Oh, come on. It'll be easy. I'm sure you can handle this.

73. Yeah, Um... Sure, I can handle this. No problem.

74. All right,

75. so we are starting with trust falls.

76. Each of you are going to share something vulnerable

77. with the group about yourself and then fall backwards,

78. while the rest of the group catches you.

79. Got it? Who wants to go first?

80. Oooohh, ooohh, me me me! Me! Me! Me!

81. All right. Get on up here.

82. I love you guys.

83. Like really, really love you.

84. Whoa! Gotcha.

85. That felt good!

86. - Angel, why don't you go next? - Fine.

87. This time everyone needs to catch him.

88. Okay? Unless you want me to hurt you.

89. Somethin' about myself, huh? How about this?

90. I love to suck—

91. I swear to fuck if you say dicks.

92. Popsicles, ya sicko!

93. Get your mind out of the gutter.

94. But you know, dick's too!

95. All right, new guy, you're up.

96. I...

97. don't want to live without my minions.

98. Nobody catch me.

99. - Damn it. - That's great.

100. Wow, you are slimy.

101. Okay. Good job. Err, Niffty.

102. Sometimes I kill motherbugs in front of their children

103. as a warning to others.

104. Yay! Pain.

105. Pain!

106. I don't know if this is really working the way we hoped.

107. Maybe we should—

108. Honey, you have to trust me here.

109. I got this, okay? I'll figure something out.

110. If you're in the market for some ideas,

111. I got just a thing for some "trust" buildin'.

112. What do you have in mind?

113. Oh, boy. What's the plan, boss?

114. I like your suit.

115. What are the antlers for?

116. Can I touch your staff thing?

117. Are those your ears? Or is it your hair? I can't tell.

118. Hark, Alastor.

119. How fare thee this day?

120. Who's that, boss?

121. Want me to rough him up for you?

122. Follow in silence if you value your shell.

123. Greetings Zestial!

124. Oh holy shit!

125. Ah, the weather doth become this fine day.

126. Indeed. Looks like we might have some acid rain this afternoon.

127. If our luck doth hold!

128. I do revel in the screams. How art thou?

129. It has been an age since thou hath graced us with thy presence.

130. Oh, fuck!

131. Some hath spun wild tales of you falling to...

132. holy arms.

133. Oh, I just took a well earned sabbatical. Nothing serious.

134. Though it's fun to keep everyone on their toes.

135. There too hath been rumour of thy involvement

136. with the princess and her recent flight of fancy.

137. Tell me, how does thou fall in such folly?

138. That is for me to know.

139. But please do guess.

140. I'd love to know the theories.

141. T'would be grander folly by far

142. to assume the workings of your mind, Alastor.

143. Thou hath been naught but an enigma since thy manifested in this realm.

144. Coming from someone as ancient as you, I take that as quite the compliment.

145. No, No. I have a very important task for you.

146. Stay here and guard the front until I return.

147. Oh look. Frank is up there.

148. We have names?

149. Oh!

150. Oh!

151. Welcome, Hell sovereign overlords.

152. I've invited you all here

153. because you represent the controlling powers of our city.

154. Together, you own millions of souls.

155. Souls at risk with the new extermination schedule.

156. We need to discuss what can be done to minimize

157. the impact to our interest.

158. - Zestial, so good to see you, my friend. - Enchanted as always Carmilla.

159. Alastor?

160. Yes, I know I've been absent some time.

161. I'm sure you've all been wondering.

162. Not really. But welcome back in any case.

163. This year's extermination was brutal, far more even than years past.

164. We have assessed that about 16% of the population was lost.

165. With the angelic legions now returning twice as quickly

166. I think it prudent we—

167. Yes, I've got it handled, Vox.

168. Are you doubting me?

169. Really? Me? That's what I thought.

170. Yes, I know. They're all a joke.

171. Thank you, Vee. See you soon.

172. Kisses, darling.

173. Nice of you to join us, Velvette.

174. Will your... colleagues be joining?

175. No. They have better shit to do than to listen to an old windbag

176. Who thinks she's tough shit. I'm here to represent.

177. Charming.

178. So, as I was saying, we need to discuss-

179. - Yes? - On the subject of discussion...

180. Ooh shit.

181. Oh, tasty!

182. Where did you get this?

183. We found it during extermination day.

184. If these Holy Rollers can be killed, the game has changed.

185. We can take the fight to them.

186. The boys and I have come up with a full assault plan.

187. If it be true thee and thy colleagues desire to war,

188. with such meagre proof.

189. Thou art far more foolish than I be thought.

190. Meager proof? It's a dead fucking exorcist.

191. I'd say that's pretty fucking definitive.

192. You going blind, old man?

193. We know not how this perished.

194. mayhaps t'was not by a demon's hand at all.

195. If we rush to war without knowing mightn't they purge

196. all of Hell for daring an uprising?

197. Oh, that's possible I suppose.

198. Oh, I get it.

199. So Grandpa is too pussy to fight,

200. so I guess there's no point, right?

201. Oh. What's the matter, Fossil?

202. Too senile to make a real power grab for—

203. That was a productive meeting.

204. Hmmph, fine.

205. Safe travels back to the nursing home, fuckers.

206. Kiss my ass.

207. What the hell? We literally just got here.

208. Mother?

209. Hmm!

210. Well, that's interesting.

211. You little egg creature. I have a job for you.

212. - Oh, yes, boss. - Follow them.

213. Angel! What the actual fuck?

214. No activity requires more trust than BDSM, baby.

215. No bond stronger than those formed through bondage.

216. That's their motto.

217. Angel, love the enthusiasm. But umm, uh... Hmmmm...

218. What makes you think anyone would be into this?

219. Ya know, I... I don't hate this.

220. I'm ready to punish some bad boys.

221. Never mind, I-I'm out.

222. Okay, hello, there. Hi. Um. Hm...

223. Ugh, I can't fucking believe I let you drag us here Angel.

224. This is disgusting.

225. It's no big deal, Vaggie.

226. You know, maybe I can just help, uh—

227. No. I told you, you could trust me.

228. And I'm not going to let you down.

229. I just need to teach them the way I was taught.

230. AHHH!

231. This is how you learned to trust people?

232. Bring it on Bitch, Yeehaw!

233. There is nothing stronger

234. than the trust between comrades and arms.

235. Buckle up, butter cups, because today you boys become men!

236. You...

237. Wait, wait! I can't fight without my minions—

238. Are going to survive together.

239. Aaaahhh! And you—

240. D-don't you even think about it—

241. Are going to make this hotel work!

242. My turn, my turn!

243. Vaggie! No!

244. This is the only way they'll learn, Charlie.

245. No, it's not. There are other ways.

246. - It just takes time. - Time we don't have.

247. How many exterminations

248. will have gone by before these idiots get their shit together?

249. How many times do we have to watch your people be killed

250. before we make headway?

251. Vaggie...

252. I took charge today and it all went sideways.

253. I'm supposed to make your dreams a reality.

254. I'm supposed to protect you.

255. I'm supposed to never fail you.

256. I blame you for this you crazy bitch!

257. You didn't fail me,

258. Vaggie... You're not—

259. If I can't help you, what's the point of me?

260. Vaggie, don't say that! You do so much! It's—

261. I'm sorry. I'd like to be alone for a minute.

262. Made it.

263. Let's go home, guys.

264. Ugh! I just walked up all those stairs.

265. Carmilla, what troubles thou?

266. Losing thy composure is unlike thee.

267. It's nothing, Zestial. Really.

268. The felled angel...

269. 'twas by thy hand, was it not?

270. - Let's not talk about it. - Mom...

271. Maybe he should know.

272. Nobody should know.

273. I did what I had to do. I am not discussing this.

274. Ooohh. This smells like fun.

275. Ooh, I love garbage.

276. So, what did you hear?

277. First the old guy w-was all "you're not yourself,

278. you're the one that killed the angel" a-a-and

279. then she was all

280. - And then what was that last thing? - She killed the angel?

281. Interesting.

282. Let's keep this between us, shall we?

283. You got it, boss.

284. - Hey. - Hey.

285. I'm sorry I got so crazy today.

286. No, no, I'm sorry.

287. I'm sorry I put pressure on you. We work as a team.

288. I guess I just thought all this would be easier,

289. But we'll figure it out... together.

290. I mean, look what your exercise did for them.

291. And then when that buff guy started beating the shit outta you.

292. Ha ha! Yes, with the dismembered arm.

293. Yes, that was particularly unpleasant.

294. I liked that part.

295. Well hey,

296. at least you can take a beating like a champ.

297. You did okay, new kid.

298. Really? Oh, well,

299. I suppose I did get into a little of the old rough and tumble today.

300. And thank you for pulling me out of there.

301. Well, how about that?

302. Alastor...

303. Failed to get rid of the eggs, I see.

304. Yes, well, the little monsters prove to be rather useful.

305. Why don't you give them back to Pentious?

306. - Really? - Yeah.

307. After today, I guess I can trust you with them.

308. But seriously, no more weapons.

309. Ahhhh! My eggs! Yeah.

310. Oh it's so good to have you back.

311. Now go clean my quarters this instant!

312. Maybe things will move faster than you think.

313. Ah! How was your day with Alastor my minions?

314. It was awesome, boss.

315. I went to this meeting and there was a knife lady,

316. an old guy and a dinosaur.

317. That's nice.

318. And the nice lady killed an angel.

319. And I was not supposed to talk about it—

320. Oh, I'm so sure and maybe you'll meet martians tomorrow.

321. But now it's time for sleep. Good night Eggies.