Hazbin Hotel 1x2

Christian Borle as Vox (voice) • Lilli Cooper as Velvette (voice) • Joel Perez as Valentino (voice)

The Vee's: Vox, Velvette, and Valentino rule their corner of Hell unchallenged, but Alastor's return to the airwaves may shake things up. Meanwhile, a new Hotel guest tests Angel's patience.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Okay. So the extermination is coming in six months instead of a year.

2. No big deal. Just a little setback.

3. Nothing we can't handle.

4. Just angels cutting our timetable in half.

5. But who needs a whole year to save souls?

6. Am I right? And next time,

7. when they cut the time in half again and again,

8. we'll just handle it, right?

9. Yes, we will.

10. Oh, please, ya had less than half a chance when you started

11. all this salvation bullshit.

12. And now... Ain't no silver lining this time toots.

13. Sure there is. We just have to look a little harder for it.

14. Well, while you're lookin, the rest of Hell is going nuts.

15. People are already freaking out about the news.

16. Look at what's happening in the Doomsday District.

17. Err, what is a "donkey show"?

18. Aah, heh, nothing. My boss, Val, is just freaked out about the news, too.

19. Like I said, everyone's losing their shit.

20. Yeah, that's true. Sinners are desperate.

21. Maybe desperate enough to try anything to escape the extermination?

22. This is the perfect time to recruit more sinners for the hotel!

23. Cute idea and all, but you really going to go out in all of this?

24. Well, it's not like people are just going to show up on our doorstep.

25. Show yourself, Alastor!

26. Come and face—

27. Oh, there you are...

28. Face my wrath!

29. Who are you?

30. Who am I? Who am I?

31. I am the great Sir Pentious! Inventor, architect of destruction,

32. villain extraordinaire!

33. Woo! You tell 'em, boss.

34. Ooh, he's a bad boy.

35. Huh, well if all that's true, you'd think I'd have heard of you.

36. I attacked you literally last week.

37. We've done battle, like... 20 times.

38. Well, you must have been really bad at this.

39. Silence! Now cower!

40. For when I've slain you, the almighty Vees

41. will finally acknowledge me as their equal!

42. Ooh! Wait, who are the Vees?

43. Oh, nobody important.

44. New VoxTek designer voyeur scopes.

45. Peeping on the neighbors has never been more stylish.

46. VoxTek. Trust us with your money.

47. This week's episode of "Yeah I Fucked Your Sister So What?"

48. is brought to you by VoxTek.

49. Trust us with your entertainment.

50. VoxTek. Trust us.

51. Trust us. Trust us. Trust us. Trust us. Trust us ...

52. Now that's good television...

53. Hello there, Velvette. How are you this hellish morning?

54. Oh, cut the shit, Vox. I need you up here now!

55. Whatever could be the problem my dear?

56. Your little boy toy is wrecking my department

57. while I ' m trying to pull together a show and—

58. Fucking bitch!

59. Just get your ass here. Now!

60. Dammit Valentino!

61. Oh god, here I go. Valentino.

62. Just another fuckin day with Val.

63. Hey, hey, hey. Fuck my life.

64. Mr Vox! Mr Vox!

65. Mr. Vox, question for you over here. Mr Vox

66. Mr. Vox. What are your thoughts on the new extermination deadline?

67. My dear people, we at VoxTek Enterprises have always been

68. at the forefront of innovation.

69. And now with this new oncoming threat, we are shifting our focus

70. to your protection.

71. We are pleased to announce VoxTek Angelic Security is coming soon.

72. Trust us with your safety.

73. Sir? Uh, when did we begin working on Angelic Security?

74. 30 seconds ago. Try to get that bitch Carmilla on the books

75. and cancel all my appointments today.

76. I have a fire to put out upstairs.

77. Ugh. No. Unacceptable. You're fired.

78. What is this? Wrist ruffles? Is it 1750?

79. Burn it like the witches who wore it.

80. Oh, Velvet. I can see you're busy.

81. Tell me where's our hot headed friend now?

82. Up in his tower, waiting for a flat-faced prince to calm him down.

83. And uh, what's got him so out of sorts today?

84. Who knows? But he tore up my best model.

85. And you know, the show can't wait for that unlucky bitch

86. to pull herself back together.

87. Melissa, get over here.

88. No. No. Hideous.

89. I want to die. Eww. Oh, yes. That's the one.

90. Well, looks like you have everything under control here.

91. Of course I do. Fuck you. Now shoo!

92. Take care of the piss baby.

93. Fuckin' finally,

94. Kitty, another drink.

95. Can you believe what that piece of shit did?

96. The ungrateful whore!

97. Um which whore are we talking about this time?

98. Fucking Angel Dust.

99. Who the hell else would I be talking about?

100. That fucking slut walked out on me. Me.

101. I fucking made him.

102. Without me, he's just a bag of meat

103. with some mildly entertaining holes.

104. - Angel quit? - No, he didn't fucking quit.

105. It's worse. He moved!

106. He thinks he can just walk in here, work, and then go home somewhere else.

107. Can you fucking believe that?

108. He thinks he can run off

109. and shack up with Lucifer's bimbo daughter?

110. Angel is living with Lucifer's daughter now?

111. Yeah, that bitch. Chalkie, or Chandler, or...

112. I don't know. Something mannish like that.

113. She's got this hotel and—

114. And which of these makes me look sexier?

115. What are you doing, Val?

116. You're not going over there.

117. That slippery twink is going to remember who owns him.

118. I'm going to fuck everyone in that rancid shithole, I swear to God.

119. Val! Think about it.

120. Our brand is perfection.

121. And what do you think chasing whores around town

122. will do for our image?

123. Uh... Fuck it up?

124. Right!

125. Do you want people thinking you can't control your employees?

126. - No. - Exactly.

127. And, hey, you still have him under contract.

128. He isn't going anywhere. So you should...?

129. Do nothing?

130. Great idea. Now, that's why they pay you the big bucks.

131. But I really wanted to shoot someone.

132. Well, let me call up the lowest earners this month.

133. Oh, you know me too well.

134. You know, Angel isn't the only one spending time at this ratty hotel

135. with the devil's princessa.

136. Oh, who else is there? Someone who owes you money?

137. Someone who owes us much more than money.

138. The Radio Demon is there.

139. What did you just say?

140. You heard me.

141. Alastor came back and he is with Lucifer's daughter,

142. and that wasn't the first fucking thing you told me?

143. Hey, killing Alastor is your kink.

144. Arrgh, Oh! Please! Stop!

145. Um, Alastor? I think he's had enough.

146. Nah, he's got a few more hits in im!

147. Aahhh!

148. Thanks for another forgettable experience.

149. Thank... you... for letting your guard down!

150. Haha! Yah! Oh, shit.

151. Argh!

152. Well, it looks as though I need a visit to the tailor.

153. Best of luck, chums.

154. Wait. You're leaving?

155. Alastor, we need your help. We need you to do your job.

156. We need a wall.

157. Of course.

158. Can't let my new project fall into disrepair already.

159. What would the papers say?

160. Hey, sweet cheeks.

161. What you doing later?

162. I love me a man with a giant... tool.

163. See? Look, at how he flirts with that guy,

164. and he's not even paying.

165. Who is that? I'm gonna fucking kill his whole fucking family.

166. Vox? Vox?

167. That fucker is back!

168. Yeah, I thought he was gone for good too.

169. It's been seven years!

170. You still pissed he almost beat you that time?

171. - Uh, fuck you. - Just saying.

172. Things have changed a lot since he left town.

173. That's for sure.

174. I got to send a message

175. of who's really in charge of things now.

176. Camera, speeds. Rolling in 3,2.

177. What a dated voice!

178. - Instead of a clout chasing video podcast - Come on!

179. Oh please.

180. I'm afraid you've lost your signal.

181. Fuck!

182. We have a problem.

183. Alastor is getting close to Little Princess Morning Star.

184. So our main concern now is ensuring that no deal is ever struck

185. between Lucifer's brat and that smiling freak.

186. Well, how exactly are we supposed to stop it?

187. Put something inside them.

188. That's how I get the bitches to behave.

189. Well maybe someone on the inside isn't such a bad idea.

190. Do you think Angel would?

191. That lanky prick won't even return my calls.

192. We need someone who Little Miss Bleeding Heart would take in.

193. Someone pathetic, desperate, with no direct ties to us.

194. I employ every down on their luck loser this side of hell.

195. Who the fuck is left?

196. I think I have just the one.

197. Hmmph!

198. So how'd it go?

199. Not a single new recruit.

200. Yeah. Well, who would want to use their last days

201. not fucking and fighting?

202. Why, hello, my dear—

203. Wait wait wait!

204. I come in peace.

205. What are you doing here?

206. Vaggie what's the problem?

207. Oh, hello again.

208. I didn't come looking for a fight. I uhh...

209. I heard that you're helping people.

210. People who want to be better?

211. You heard right.

212. Welcome to our home of healing. Our resort of restoration. Our—

213. Are you fucking nuts?

214. This chump was trying to kill us, like,

215. literally 6 hours ago.

216. And now you want to bring him in here to live with us?

217. Absolutely!

218. This place is about second chances.

219. And who deserves one more than this...

220. slithery... slippery... special little man.

221. Aren't you're supposed to protect this place?

222. I... guess he's not much of a threat without the war machine

223. or even with the war machine.

224. Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!

225. Sir Pentious! Welcome to the Hazbin hotel!

226. Oh, no darling, thank you. You won't regret this.

227. Eh, I give you a week tops.

228. So... this is the bar and the bartender.

229. This is the curtain,

230. and this is the new wall after you broke the last one, heh,

231. and, oh, this, this is—

232. Babe, you don't have to show him every detail.

233. Sorry, I'm just so excited to have our first real guest!

234. Uh, what the hell am I then?

235. Well, you're an important part of our family here, Angel.

236. But you, um, uh...

237. Constantly make us look bad, sexually harass the staff,

238. and have literally never once tried to improve?

239. What she means is, it's just nice to have someone interested for once.

240. Over here we have our maid Niffty.

241. The bad boy is back.

242. Never leave me again.

243. We're about eighty percent sure she's harmless.

244. And over here we have—

245. Oh, uh, Alastor, our gracious Facility Manager!

246. You've met our newest guest, Sir Pentious... Heh heh.

247. Ah, yes. You're the one who ruined my coat.

248. I definitely remember you now.

249. Well, I guess this is a great time for your first lesson:

250. "How to apologize".

251. The first step to becoming a better person is to admit when you are wrong,

252. Why don't you give it a try?

253. Yes, um... Mr, um, Radio Demon, sir, please forgive me for attacking you

254. and ruining your very lovely coat... Um, here...

255. Oh-ho, not many people have been able to take even this much off me.

256. It must have meant quite a lot to you.

257. Now! With a new resident,

258. I think it's important we all get to know each other,

259. so we are going to play a little game.

260. Everyone, follow me.

261. My name is Charlie.

262. I like to sing.

263. And when we get to know each other, it's the greatest thing.

264. My name's Sir Pentious.

265. I like to build.

266. And despite my stupid Egg Bois,

267. I think I'm very skilled.

268. This is stupid.

269. I am too sober for this.

270. Well, get used to it and learn how to play.

271. "Oh I'm a bad man on the streets

272. who never got enough hugs."

273. "Now, where's an innocent kid I can sell crack to?"

274. Wow. Who wrote this?

275. It's great, right? Keep going.

276. - "Hey you." - Who, me?

277. "Yeah, you look like a kid who could use some devil's dandruff."

278. Oh, for fuck's sake.

279. Not me. I have to go home and study.

280. "Come on kid, it'll make you cool like me...

281. The crack head!"

282. The only cool thing here is to say no to drugs.

283. Now, if you'll excuse me,

284. I'm off to not have sexual intercourse before marriage!

285. Yes! Oh, bravo, bravo!

286. Wow, Pentious,

287. at this rate you'll be redeemed in no time.

288. I... I'm going to bed.

289. I am so proud of you, Sir Pentious.

290. - That was amazing. - Thank you.

291. - That was beautiful work today! - Thank you.

292. You like me. You really like me!

293. Angel, Baby, come home.

294. It's not the same without you here. I miss you, come back

295. Angel you bitch, If you don't come home,

296. You will be fucking greasy truckers for the next year—

297. Hey, amorcito, I didn't mean to yell,

298. but you know how crazy you make me f—

299. You fuckin' slut!

300. Hey, Angie, about earlier—

301. Kill your whole fucking fam—

302. Work ' s really stressful—

303. Little cocksucking piece of shit—

304. You actually think you can change?

305. Addict trash like you doesn't change.

306. I'll see you soon, baby.

307. Sorry. Not now, Fat Nuggets.

308. Aah!

309. Huh?

310. You slippery little shit!

311. You're working for the Vees?

312. I fucking knew there was something shitty about you.

313. I don't know what you're talking about...

314. whorebug!

315. Get your aggressively average body,

316. off of me!

317. Fuck!

318. What's going on?

319. This little bitch is a traitor!

320. Preposterous, I would never betray you. You... are my best friends!

321. Uh-uh, Then explain this.

322. Ah! Ah! Abort! Abort!

323. S.O.S. Agent Pentious in need of immediate evacuation!

324. Pentious? Wait ... You were caught?

325. It hasn't even been a day!

326. Please, you've got to get me out of here!

327. I can't believe we thought you could handle even something this simple.

328. Do us a favor, if they don't kill you,

329. go ahead and do it yourself, you miserable failure.

330. I... I...

331. Just make it quick, I guess.

332. Not that I deserve it.

333. Gladly.

334. Wait... Pentious?

335. I hated that song!

336. Why are you so lame? Not a bad boy.

337. Good first day. Let's get some rest.

338. What?

339. You'll have to try harder than that next time, ol' pal.

340. Aaaarrggghhhhh!