1. Okay. So the extermination
is coming in six months instead of a year.Copy !req
2. No big deal.
Just a little setback.Copy !req
3. Nothing we can't handle.Copy !req
4. Just angels cutting
our timetable in half.Copy !req
5. But who needs a whole year
to save souls?Copy !req
6. Am I right?
And next time,Copy !req
7. when they cut the
time in half again and again,Copy !req
8. we'll just handle it, right?!Copy !req
9. Yes, we will.Copy !req
10. Oh, please, ya had less
than half a chance when you startedCopy !req
11. all this salvation bullshit.Copy !req
12. And now... Ain't no silver
lining this time toots.Copy !req
13. Sure there is. We just have to
look a little harder for it.Copy !req
14. Well, while you're lookin,
the rest of Hell is going nuts.Copy !req
15. People are already freaking out
about the news.Copy !req
16. Look at what's happening in the
Doomsday District.Copy !req
17. Err, what is
a "donkey show"?Copy !req
18. Aah, heh, nothing. My boss, Val,
is just freaked out about the news, too.Copy !req
19. Like I said,
everyone's losing their shit.Copy !req
20. Yeah, that's true.
Sinners are desperate.Copy !req
21. Maybe desperate enough to try
anything to escape the extermination?Copy !req
22. This is the perfect time
to recruit more sinners for the hotel!Copy !req
23. Cute idea and all,
but you really going to go out in all of this?Copy !req
24. Well, it's not like people are
just going to show up on our doorstep.Copy !req
25. Show yourself, Alastor!Copy !req
26. Come and face...Copy !req
27. Oh, there you are...Copy !req
28. Face my wrath!Copy !req
29. Who are you?Copy !req
30. Who am I?
Who am I?Copy !req
31. I am the great Sir Pentious! Inventor,
architect of destruction,Copy !req
32. villain extraordinaire!Copy !req
33. Woo! You tell 'em, boss.Copy !req
34. Ooh, he's a bad boy.Copy !req
35. Huh, well if all that's true,
you'd think I'd have heard of you.Copy !req
36. I attacked
you literally last week.Copy !req
37. We've done battle, like... 20
times.Copy !req
38. Well, you must have been
really bad at this.Copy !req
39. Silence! Now cower!Copy !req
40. For when I've
slain you, the almighty VeesCopy !req
41. will finally acknowledge me
as their equal!Copy !req
42. Ooh! Wait, who are the Vees?Copy !req
43. Oh, nobody important.Copy !req
44. New VoxTek
designer voyeur scopes.Copy !req
45. Peeping on the neighbors
has never been more stylish.Copy !req
46. VoxTek.
Trust us with your money.Copy !req
47. This week's episode of "Yeah
I Fucked Your Sister So What?"Copy !req
48. is brought to you by VoxTek.Copy !req
49. Trust us with
your entertainment.Copy !req
50. VoxTek.
Trust us.Copy !req
51. Trust us. Trust us.
Trust us. Trust us. Trust us...Copy !req
52. Now that's good television...Copy !req
53. Hello there, Velvette. How
are you this hellish morning?Copy !req
54. Oh, cut the shit, Vox.
I need you up here now!Copy !req
55. Whatever could be
the problem my dear?Copy !req
56. Your little boy toy is wrecking
my departmentCopy !req
57. while I ' m trying to pull
together a show and...Copy !req
58. Fucking bitch!Copy !req
59. Just get your ass here. Now!Copy !req
60. Dammit Valentino!Copy !req
61. Oh god,
here I go. Valentino.Copy !req
62. Just another fuckin day
with Val.Copy !req
63. Hey, hey, hey.
Fuck my life.Copy !req
64. Mr Vox! Mr Vox!Copy !req
65. Mr. Vox, question
for you over here. Mr VoxCopy !req
66. Mr. Vox. What are your thoughts
on the new extermination deadline?Copy !req
67. My dear people, we at VoxTek
Enterprises have always beenCopy !req
68. at the forefront of innovation.Copy !req
69. And now with this new
oncoming threat, we are shifting our focusCopy !req
70. to your protection.Copy !req
71. We are pleased to announce
VoxTek Angelic Security is coming soon.Copy !req
72. Trust us with your safety.Copy !req
73. Sir? Uh, when did we begin
working on Angelic Security?Copy !req
74. 30 seconds ago. Try to
get that bitch Carmilla on the booksCopy !req
75. and cancel all my
appointments today.Copy !req
76. I have a fire
to put out upstairs.Copy !req
77. Ugh. No.
Unacceptable. You're fired.Copy !req
78. What is this? Wrist ruffles?
Is it 1750?Copy !req
79. Burn it like the witches
who wore it.Copy !req
80. Oh, Velvet.
I can see you're busy.Copy !req
81. Tell me where's our hot
headed friend now?Copy !req
82. Up in his tower, waiting for
a flat-faced prince to calm him down.Copy !req
83. And uh, what's got him
so out of sorts today?Copy !req
84. Who knows?
But he tore up my best model.Copy !req
85. And you know, the show can't
wait for that unlucky bitchCopy !req
86. to pull herself back together.Copy !req
87. Melissa, get over here.Copy !req
88. No. No. Hideous.Copy !req
89. I want to die. Eww.
Oh, yes. That's the one.Copy !req
90. Well, looks like you have
everything under control here.Copy !req
91. Of course I do.
Fuck you. Now shoo!Copy !req
92. Take care of the piss baby.Copy !req
93. Fuckin' finally,Copy !req
94. Kitty, another drink.Copy !req
95. Can you believe what
that piece of shit did?Copy !req
96. The ungrateful whore!Copy !req
97. Um which whore are
we talking about this time?Copy !req
98. Fucking Angel Dust.Copy !req
99. Who the hell else
would I be talking about?Copy !req
100. That fucking slut
walked out on me. Me.Copy !req
101. I fucking made him.Copy !req
102. Without me, he's just a bag of
meatCopy !req
103. with some mildly
entertaining holes.Copy !req
104. - Angel quit?
- No, he didn't fucking quit.Copy !req
105. It's worse. He moved!Copy !req
106. He thinks he can just walk in here,
work, and then go home somewhere else.Copy !req
107. Can you fucking believe that?!Copy !req
108. He thinks he can run offCopy !req
109. and shack up with Lucifer's
bimbo daughter?Copy !req
110. Angel is living with
Lucifer's daughter now?Copy !req
111. Yeah, that bitch. Chalkie,
or Chandler, or...Copy !req
112. I don't know.
Something mannish like that.Copy !req
113. She's got this hotel and...Copy !req
114. And which of these makes me
look sexier?Copy !req
115. What are you doing, Val?Copy !req
116. You're not going over there.Copy !req
117. That slippery twink is
going to remember who owns him.Copy !req
118. I'm going to fuck everyone in
that rancid shithole, I swear to God.Copy !req
119. Val!
Think about it.Copy !req
120. Our brand is perfection.Copy !req
121. And what do you think
chasing whores around townCopy !req
122. will do for our image?Copy !req
123. Uh... Fuck it up?Copy !req
124. Right!Copy !req
125. Do you want people thinking you
can't control your employees?Copy !req
126. - No.
- Exactly.Copy !req
127. And, hey, you still have him
under contract.Copy !req
128. He isn't going anywhere.
So you should...?Copy !req
129. Do nothing?Copy !req
130. Great idea. Now, that's
why they pay you the big bucks.Copy !req
131. But I really wanted
to shoot someone.Copy !req
132. Well, let me call up the lowest
earners this month.Copy !req
133. Oh, you know me too well.Copy !req
134. You know, Angel isn't the only
one spending time at this ratty hotelCopy !req
135. with the devil's princessa.Copy !req
136. Oh, who else is there?
Someone who owes you money?Copy !req
137. Someone who owes
us much more than money.Copy !req
138. The Radio Demon is there.Copy !req
139. What did you just say?Copy !req
140. You heard me.Copy !req
141. Alastor came back and he is with
Lucifer's daughter,Copy !req
142. and that wasn't
the first fucking thing you told me?!Copy !req
143. Hey, killing Alastor
is your kink.Copy !req
144. Arrgh,
Oh! Please! Stop!Copy !req
145. Um, Alastor?
I think he's had enough.Copy !req
146. Nah, he's got a few more
hits in im!Copy !req
147. Aahhh!Copy !req
148. Thanks for
another forgettable experience.Copy !req
149. Thank... you...
for letting your guard down!Copy !req
150. Haha! Yah! Oh, shit.Copy !req
151. Argh!Copy !req
152. Well, it looks as though
I need a visit to the tailor.Copy !req
153. Best of luck, chums.Copy !req
154. Wait. You're leaving?Copy !req
155. Alastor, we need your help.
We need you to do your job.Copy !req
156. We need a wall.Copy !req
157. Of course.Copy !req
158. Can't let my new project fall
into disrepair already.Copy !req
159. What would the papers say?Copy !req
160. Hey, sweet cheeks.Copy !req
161. What you doing later?Copy !req
162. I love me a man with a giant...
tool.Copy !req
163. See? Look,
at how he flirts with that guy,Copy !req
164. and he's not even paying.Copy !req
165. Who is that? I'm gonna fucking
kill his whole fucking family.Copy !req
166. Vox? Vox?Copy !req
167. That fucker is back!Copy !req
168. Yeah, I thought he was gone
for good too.Copy !req
169. It's been seven years!Copy !req
170. You still pissed
he almost beat you that time?Copy !req
171. - Uh, fuck you.
- Just saying.Copy !req
172. Things have changed a lot
since he left town.Copy !req
173. That's for sure.Copy !req
174. I got to send a messageCopy !req
175. of who's
really in charge of things now.Copy !req
176. Welcome homeCopy !req
177. I'm gonna make you wishCopy !req
178. That you'd stayed gone.Copy !req
179. Say helloCopy !req
180. To a new status quoCopy !req
181. Everyone knows that there's
a brand new dawnCopy !req
182. Turn the TV onCopy !req
183. Camera, speeds. Rolling in 3,2.Copy !req
184. Welcome to the showCopy !req
185. Top of the hour
and we're discussing a certain has-beenCopy !req
186. who has been spotted cavorting
around town after a seven year absence.Copy !req
187. Did anybody miss him? Did
anybody notice? More on tonight's program.Copy !req
188. So the Radio Demon is back in
town.Copy !req
189. Why is he hanging around?
What does that mean for your family?Copy !req
190. Well handily, I've got
good news. He's a loser, a fossilCopy !req
191. And I don't mean to sound
hostile but the demon is a cowardCopy !req
192. You can take that as gospel.
Pulling my viewers? ImpossibleCopy !req
193. Im visual,
he's barely audibleCopy !req
194. Stop giving
him the time of dayCopy !req
195. Don't listen to a word he'd
sayCopy !req
196. Hope he had a nice vacayCopy !req
197. But he should have stayed awayCopy !req
198. While he hid in radioCopy !req
199. We pivoted to videoCopy !req
200. And now his mediumCopy !req
201. is getting bloody rareCopy !req
202. Hell's been
better since he splitCopy !req
203. Where's he been? Who gives a
shit?Copy !req
204. SalutationsCopy !req
205. Good to be back on the airCopy !req
206. Yes I know It's been a while
since someone with styleCopy !req
207. Treated hell to a broadcast
Sinners rejoiceCopy !req
208. What a dated voice!Copy !req
209. - Instead of a clout chasing video podcast
- Come on!Copy !req
210. Is Vox insecure pursuing
allure?Copy !req
211. Flitting between this fad
and thatCopy !req
212. - Is nothing working?
- Ignore his chirpingCopy !req
213. Every day he's
got a new formatCopy !req
214. You're looking at the futureCopy !req
215. He's the shit
that comes before thatCopy !req
216. Is Vox as
strong as he purportsCopy !req
217. Or is
it based on his support?Copy !req
218. He'd be powerless
without the other VeesCopy !req
219. Oh please.Copy !req
220. And here's the sugarCopy !req
221. on the creamCopy !req
222. - He asked me to join his team
- Hold on!Copy !req
223. I said no and now he's pissy,
that's the teaCopy !req
224. You old timey prickCopy !req
225. I'll show you sufferingCopy !req
226. Uh oh, the TV is bufferingCopy !req
227. I'll
d estroy yoo-o-u-u you little...Copy !req
228. I'm afraid
you've lost your signal.Copy !req
229. Lets beginCopy !req
230. I'm gonna make you wish
that I'd stayed goneCopy !req
231. Tune on inCopy !req
232. When I'm doneCopy !req
233. Your status quo
Will know its race is runCopy !req
234. Oh this will be funCopy !req
235. Fuck!Copy !req
236. We have a problem.Copy !req
237. Alastor is getting close
to Little Princess Morning Star.Copy !req
238. So our main concern now is
ensuring that no deal is ever struckCopy !req
239. between Lucifer's brat
and that smiling freak.Copy !req
240. Well, how exactly
are we supposed to stop it?Copy !req
241. Put something inside them.Copy !req
242. That's how I get the bitches
to behave.Copy !req
243. Well maybe someone on the inside
isn't such a bad idea.Copy !req
244. Do you think Angel would?Copy !req
245. That lanky prick
won't even return my calls.Copy !req
246. We need someone who Little Miss
Bleeding Heart would take in.Copy !req
247. Someone pathetic, desperate,
with no direct ties to us.Copy !req
248. I employ every down on their
luck loser this side of hell.Copy !req
249. Who the fuck is left?Copy !req
250. I think I have just the one.Copy !req
251. Hmmph!Copy !req
252. So how'd it go?Copy !req
253. Not a single new recruit.Copy !req
254. Yeah. Well, who would want
to use their last daysCopy !req
255. not fucking and fighting?Copy !req
256. Why, hello, my dear...Copy !req
257. Wait wait wait!Copy !req
258. I come in peace.Copy !req
259. What are you doing here?Copy !req
260. Vaggie what's the problem?Copy !req
261. Oh, hello again.Copy !req
262. I didn't come
looking for a fight. I uhh...Copy !req
263. I heard that you're
helping people.Copy !req
264. People who want to be better?Copy !req
265. You heard right.Copy !req
266. Welcome to our home of healing.
Our resort of restoration. Our...Copy !req
267. Are you fucking nuts?Copy !req
268. This chump was trying to kill
us, like,Copy !req
269. literally 6 hours ago.Copy !req
270. And now you want to bring him
in here to live with us?Copy !req
271. Absolutely!Copy !req
272. This place is about
second chances.Copy !req
273. And who deserves one more than
this...Copy !req
274. slithery... slippery...
special little man.Copy !req
275. Aren't you're supposed
to protect this place?Copy !req
276. I... guess he's not much of a
threat without the war machineCopy !req
277. or even with the war
machine.Copy !req
278. Oh, thank you, thank you, thank
you, thank you!Copy !req
279. Sir Pentious!
Welcome to the Hazbin hotel!Copy !req
280. Oh, no darling, thank you.
You won't regret this.Copy !req
281. Eh, I give you a week tops.Copy !req
282. So... this
is the bar and the bartender.Copy !req
283. This is the curtain,Copy !req
284. and this is the new wall after
you broke the last one, heh,Copy !req
285. and, oh, this, this is...Copy !req
286. Babe, you don't have to show him
every detail.Copy !req
287. Sorry, I'm just so excited to
have our first real guest!Copy !req
288. Uh, what the hell am I then?Copy !req
289. Well, you're an important part
of our family here, Angel.Copy !req
290. But you, um, uh...Copy !req
291. Constantly make us look
bad, sexually harass the staff,Copy !req
292. and have literally
never once tried to improve?Copy !req
293. What she means is, it's just nice
to have someone interested for once.Copy !req
294. Over here we have our maid
Niffty.Copy !req
295. The bad boy is back.Copy !req
296. Never leave me again.Copy !req
297. We're about eighty percent
sure she's harmless.Copy !req
298. And over here we have...Copy !req
299. Oh, uh, Alastor, our gracious
Facility Manager!Copy !req
300. You've met our newest guest,
Sir Pentious... Heh heh.Copy !req
301. Ah, yes. You're
the one who ruined my coat.Copy !req
302. I definitely remember you now.Copy !req
303. Well, I guess this is a great
time for your first lesson:Copy !req
304. "How to apologize".Copy !req
305. The first step to becoming a better
person is to admit when you are wrong,Copy !req
306. Why don't you give it a try?Copy !req
307. Yes, um... Mr, um, Radio Demon,
sir, please forgive me for attacking youCopy !req
308. and ruining your very
lovely coat... Um, here...Copy !req
309. Oh-ho, not many people have
been able to take even this much off me.Copy !req
310. It must have
meant quite a lot to you.Copy !req
311. Now! With a new resident,Copy !req
312. I think it's important
we all get to know each other,Copy !req
313. so we are going to play
a little game.Copy !req
314. Everyone, follow me.Copy !req
315. My name is Charlie.Copy !req
316. I like to sing.Copy !req
317. And when we get to know
each other, it's the greatest thing.Copy !req
318. My name's Sir Pentious.Copy !req
319. I like to build.Copy !req
320. And despite my stupid Egg Bois,Copy !req
321. I think I'm very skilled.Copy !req
322. This is stupid.Copy !req
323. This is not stupid it's
just the gameCopy !req
324. Sir Pentious did it well so
now please try to do the sameCopy !req
325. I am too sober for this.Copy !req
326. Well, get used to it and
learn how to play.Copy !req
327. This is going to be
your whole dayCopy !req
328. "Oh I'm a bad man on the streetsCopy !req
329. who never got enough hugs."Copy !req
330. "Now, where's an innocent kid I
can sell crack to?"Copy !req
331. Wow. Who wrote this?Copy !req
332. It's great, right?
Keep going.Copy !req
333. - "Hey you."
- Who, me?Copy !req
334. "Yeah, you look like a kid
who could use some devil's dandruff."Copy !req
335. Oh, for fuck's sake.Copy !req
336. Not me. I have
to go home and study.Copy !req
337. "Come on kid,
it'll make you cool like me...Copy !req
338. The crack head!"Copy !req
339. The only cool thing here
is to say no to drugs.Copy !req
340. Now, if you'll excuse me,Copy !req
341. I'm off to not have sexual
intercourse before marriage!Copy !req
342. Yes! Oh, bravo, bravo!Copy !req
343. Wow, Pentious,Copy !req
344. at this rate you'll be redeemed
in no time.Copy !req
345. I... I'm going to bed.Copy !req
346. I am so
proud of you, Sir Pentious.Copy !req
347. - That was amazing.
- Thank you.Copy !req
348. - That was beautiful work today!
- Thank you.Copy !req
349. You like me. You really like me!Copy !req
350. Angel, Baby, come home.Copy !req
351. It's not the same without
you here. I miss you, come backCopy !req
352. Angel
you bitch, If you don't come home,Copy !req
353. You will be fucking greasy
truckers for the next year...Copy !req
354. Hey,
amorcito, I didn't mean to yell,Copy !req
355. but you know how
crazy you make me f...Copy !req
356. You fuckin' slut!Copy !req
357. Hey, Angie, about earlier...Copy !req
358. Kill your whole fucking fam...Copy !req
359. Work ' s really stressful...Copy !req
360. Little
cocksucking piece of shit...Copy !req
361. You actually
think you can change?Copy !req
362. Addict trash like you doesn't change.Copy !req
363. I'll
see you soon, baby.Copy !req
364. Sorry. Not now, Fat Nuggets.Copy !req
365. Aah!Copy !req
366. Huh?Copy !req
367. You slippery little shit!Copy !req
368. You're working for the Vees?Copy !req
369. I fucking knew there was
something shitty about you.Copy !req
370. I don't
know what you're talking about...Copy !req
371. whorebug!Copy !req
372. Get
your aggressively average body,Copy !req
373. off of me!Copy !req
374. Fuck!Copy !req
375. What's going on?Copy !req
376. This little bitch is a traitor!Copy !req
377. Preposterous, I would never
betray you. You... are my best friends!Copy !req
378. Uh-uh,
Then explain this.Copy !req
379. Ah! Ah! Abort! Abort!Copy !req
380. S.O.S. Agent Pentious in
need of immediate evacuation!!Copy !req
381. Pentious? Wait...
You were caught?!Copy !req
382. It hasn't even been
a day!Copy !req
383. Please, you've got
to get me out of here!Copy !req
384. I can't believe we thought
you could handle even something this simple.Copy !req
385. Do us a favor, if they don't
kill you,Copy !req
386. go ahead and do it yourself,
you miserable failure.Copy !req
387. I... I...Copy !req
388. Just make it quick, I guess.Copy !req
389. Not that I deserve it.Copy !req
390. Gladly.Copy !req
391. Wait... Pentious?Copy !req
392. It starts with sorryCopy !req
393. That's your foot
In the doorCopy !req
394. One simple sorryCopy !req
395. Spoken
straight from your coreCopy !req
396. The path to forgivenessCopy !req
397. Is a twisting
trail of heartsCopy !req
398. But sorry is where it startsCopy !req
399. Who could
forgive a dirtbag like meCopy !req
400. I don't deserve
your amnestyCopy !req
401. Can ' t we just kill himCopy !req
402. Shoot him and
spill his bloodCopy !req
403. That's an option you could chooseCopy !req
404. Works for usCopy !req
405. But who hasn't
Been in his shoesCopy !req
406. It starts with sorryCopy !req
407. SorryCopy !req
408. Dig down deeper and sayCopy !req
409. One sincere sorryCopy !req
410. I'm so sorryCopy !req
411. And your journey's underwayCopy !req
412. It'll take time to coverCopy !req
413. Your vast multitude of sins
My vast multitude of sinsCopy !req
414. But sorry is where it beginsCopy !req
415. It starts with sorryCopy !req
416. I hated that song!Copy !req
417. Why are you so lame?
Not a bad boy.Copy !req
418. Good first day.
Let's get some rest.Copy !req
419. What?!Copy !req
420. You'll have to try harder than
that next time, ol' pal.Copy !req
421. Aaaarrggghhhhh!!Copy !req