Hazbin Hotel 1x1

Brandon Rogers as Katie Killjoy (voice) • Mick Lauer as Additional Voices (voice) • Jessica Vosk as Lute (voice)

Charlie pitches Heaven her plan to save sinners by way of redeeming themselves through her Hotel. Vaggie enlists the staff to make a commercial to promote the hotel.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Once upon a time, there was a glowing city protected by golden gates

2. known as Heaven.

3. It was ruled by beings of pure light.

4. Angels that worshipped good and shielded all from evil.

5. Lucifer was one of these angels.

6. He was a dreamer with fantastical ideas for all of creation.

7. But he was seen as a troublemaker by the elders of Heaven.

8. For they felt his way of thinking was dangerous to the order of their world.

9. So he watched as the angels began to expand the universe in their ways.

10. From the dust of Earth, they created Adam and Lilith.

11. Equals as the first of mankind, but despite this,

12. Adam demanded control and Lilith refused to submit to his will.

13. She fled the garden.

14. Drawn in by her fierce independence,

15. Lucifer found her and the two rebellious dreamers fell deeply in love.

16. Together, they wished to share the magic of free will with humanity,

17. offering the fruit of knowledge to Adam's new bride, Eve, who gladly accepted.

18. But this gift came with a curse.

19. For with this single act of disobedience, evil finally found its way into Earth.

20. With it, a new realm of darkness and sin.

21. And the order Heaven had worked to maintain was shattered.

22. As punishment for their reckless act,

23. Heaven cast Lucifer and his love into the dark pit he had created,

24. never allowing him to see the good that came from humanity,

25. only the cruel and the wicked.

26. Ashamed, Lucifer lost his will to dream.

27. But Lilith thrived, empowering demon-kind with her voice

28. and her songs. And as the numbers of Hell grew,

29. so did its power.

30. Threatened by this, Heaven made a truly heartless decision.

31. That every year, they would send down an army,

32. an extermination to ensure Hell and its sinners could never rise against them.

33. But Lilith's hope remained.

34. And her dream was passed down to their precious daughter

35. the Princess of Hell.

36. Don't worry, Mom. I'll make you proud.

37. Charlie?

38. Augh! Oh, shit. Did you hear all that?

39. Uh... Yeah, I was right there.

40. Sorry. I get pretty worked up after an extermination happens.

41. This story helps.

42. I know. Don't worry. I enjoy your theatrics.

43. Are you okay?

44. I'm fine, just— thinking ya know, family stuff.

45. Did you hear from your mom yet?

46. Oof. How long has it been now?

47. Not that long, only... seven... years...

48. Off doing something important, I'm sure.

49. But this kingdom was something she really cared about.

50. Something I care about.

51. Well, at least you aren't alone.

52. I just hope what I'm trying to do here will work.

53. It will. I have faith in you.

54. All right. Come on.

55. Alastor says he has something to show us.

56. Well, hello there you wayward sinner.

57. Do you like blood, violence and depravity of a sexual nature?

58. Of course you do. That's why you're in Hell!

59. But what would you say

60. there was a place to stay that had none of that?

61. Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel,

62. a misguided path to redemption!

63. Founded five days ago by Lucifer's delusional daughter

64. Charlotte Morningstar!

65. Come place your fate in her inexperienced hands

66. as she tries to work through her daddy issues by fixing you!

67. Here, we offer fun things!

68. Such as somewhat functional staff!

69. And 24 hour Pest Control!

70. Custom rooms, and just look at this tacky parlor!

71. Enjoy riveting conversation with our singular resident.

72. Wow! All this and more at the Hazbin Hotel!

73. Your last desperate attempt at salvation starts here.

74. So, what'd ya' think?

75. I'm sorry, what the fuck was that?

76. Uh, yeah, one note...

77. Alastor, I mean—

78. First off, thank you so much for making this seriously amazing,

79. but um... maybe the tone is a bit...

80. off?

81. We want people to want to come here,

82. this makes it look... ummm—

83. Bad. The word you're looking for is bad.

84. Funny. I was going for hilarious!

85. It didn't explain anything about how we're trying to save

86. demons from extermination, which is the whole fucking point.

87. Vaggie is right, Alastor.

88. The commercial was to let Sinners know we are trying to help them.

89. Well, my dear, I haven't been active in Hell for some time,

90. and everyone remembers me from my radio show!

91. The proper medium to express oneself!

92. But you insisted on this: noisy picture box advertisement,

93. So I had a little fun with it.

94. Oh, fun. You had a little fun with it?

95. Well, this is not what we want to represent us.

96. When you showed up here a week ago, you told us

97. you would help run this hotel!

98. Instead, you're mocking us.

99. Nobody's going to want to come to a place

100. that a powerful Overlord like you thinks is a waste of time!

101. What?

102. If'n ya filmin' a commercial,

103. can I suggest you take better advantage

104. of the talented celebrity you have right here?

105. - Angel, you're a porn star. - A famous porn star.

106. I'll have the horniest sinners knockin' these walls down to get in.

107. We are not filming a porn as a commercial.

108. Why not? Sex sells, don't it?

109. I swear if you film me goin' at it with mister fancy talk-creepy voice here,

110. you'd be rollin' in participants willin' to stay at this tacky hotel.

111. Haha! Never going to happen!

112. Angel, I appreciate you wanting to use your special skills

113. to, um, attract folks to the hotel,

114. but— I really don't want to exploit you, in that way!

115. Oh, please, baby.

116. This body was made to be exploited.

117. I got the arms, I got the stamina, I got the legs.

118. I got the lung capacity— Oh-oh I got the legs,

119. the gag reflex, the holes...

120. the chest fluff everyone thinks are tits

121. Uhhh, hold that thought. I'll be right back!

122. I could keep goin' all night, baby.

123. Hello? Dad?

124. Hey, I have a question.

125. If freaky face over there is so powerful,

126. then why can't he just make people stay here?

127. Oh, trust me, I can!

128. Why do you think I'm here?

129. You actually think I'd be cleaning bottles

130. and listening to you fuck's bitch and moan all the time if he wasn't forcin' me?

131. - I like being forced. - Keep that to yourself, Niff.

132. What, you don't love being here with me, Whiskers?

133. Call me "Whiskers" again and I'll jam that bottle down your throat.

134. Kinky. C'mon keep talkin' dirty.

135. Ugh, Angel, let Husk do his job. And no, we can't force sinners to stay here.

136. They need to choose to.

137. I'm choosing to be here, and I think it's all stupid.

138. We're in Hell, Toots.

139. That's kind of the end of the road, ain't it?

140. Well, maybe it doesn't have to be.

141. Just because nobody has made it out before

142. doesn't mean it's not possible.

143. Hey, whatever means I can keep crashin' here rent free.

144. Crack is expensive.

145. Yeah, I can totally.

146. Yeah, I'll head over there right away...

147. Okay.

148. Hah! YES! YES! Hahahaha!

149. - Vaggie! Holy shit! - Ahh! What?

150. Get over here!

151. What's going on?

152. My dad just called. He said that the leader

153. of the Angel Army wants to meet.

154. - He asked if I could go instead. - But...

155. But— But the extermination just happened.

156. What could they want this soon after— -

157. This could be bad.

158. Okay, but just don't... sing to them.

159. That bitch is halfway down the street.

160. - Is she— - Oh, she's dancin'.

161. Ugh, no.

162. - Hi mister. - Go fuck yourself.

163. Oh... No, thank you. I'm just gonna...

164. Your loss bitch!

165. Hello!

166. Hello?

167. Hello?

168. Creepy...

169. Oh, Okay. Also creepy.

170. Uhh, hello?

171. Is anyone here?

172. - 'Sup. - Holy Shit!

173. Hi, I'm Charlie. My dad asked me if I could meet you.

174. - Yeah, I know. - Okay, well, it's nice to meet you.

175. Totally. Nice to meet you, too.

176. Ohh!

177. Ha! I fucking got you. Did you fuckin' see that?

178. - Good shit. - Uh, so wait, you aren't here?

179. No, you think I'd come down there?

180. No. I mean, I love the vibe, totally, I love your tunes.

181. Pretty fuckin' hardcore, don't get me wrong.

182. But, it's such a bummer, man.

183. Everything down there's just so "eugh" ya know?

184. Ew.

185. Right. So I'm happy we got this opportunity to meet.

186. There's a project I've been working on that I really want to talk to you about—

187. Hey, hey, hey, slow down. We got time.

188. How about we get to know each other a little, mm?

189. How about some lunch? You hungry?

190. I got you!

191. Here's my personal favourite. You'll love it.

192. Uh, thanks!

193. I got you again, bitch!

194. Haha fuckin' hilarious! Haha!

195. Okay, so Charlie is dealing with something very important,

196. so while she's gone, we are making a new commercial.

197. One that represents her vision and what we're doing here.

198. So we need a camera. Alastor?

199. A video camera.

200. Hmm?

201. All right, let's do this!

202. And...

203. Action.

204. " Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel

205. Can I help you with anything? "

206. " I've been a bad boy.

207. And I need a big, strong daddy to put me in my place ...

208. On the path to redemption. "

209. - " Well, you come— " - "Oh yes! "

210. "... To the right place."

211. Cut. Okay, Angel,

212. I need you to be less horny, if possible.

213. And Husk, can you maybe not have a script in front of your face?

214. I ain't no act.

215. I can't memorize this shit.

216. Well, we could improv this shit. Baby cakes. Rawrrr.

217. - Whoops. - Husk, Come on.

218. So I was playin' this gig, and for some fuckin' reason

219. this virtue chick was diggin' on the drummer,

220. and it's like, do you know who I am?

221. I'm fuckin' Adam. I'm the original dick!

222. All dicks descend from me.

223. You think you want drummer dick? No way,

224. I'm the Dick-fuckin' master!

225. So anyway, then we fucked, and it was awesome.

226. What'd you do this weekend?

227. Wait, your name is Adam?

228. Like the first man Adam? That means you—

229. Ohhh...

230. That explains so much.

231. I know. I fucking rock.

232. Well, Adam, sir. Mr. Adam, sir.

233. Call me Dickmaster.

234. Adam, you seem like a smart—

235. well, stand up guy.

236. Uh-huh.

237. And I know you are the leader of the angels.

238. And you are a big thinker, a revolutionary, a— a genius!

239. I mean, your words, babe.

240. Who would really love to put his name on something.

241. Fucking love putting my name on shit.

242. Shit's the best.

243. It's a solution to our biggest problem!

244. Oh, herpes.

245. Yeah, that's a bitch.

246. No! Our other biggest problem.

247. Oh, uh... ugly people? Math?

248. Global warming? Nah, wait that's Earth's problem.

249. Umm—

250. Hehehe. Stab. Stab. Stab.

251. Alright Niffty. Niffty? Niffty!

252. Your line is "We have the cleanest rooms."

253. - Okay? - Got it. I'm ready.

254. Action.

255. Uhh... Cut.

256. How was that?

257. Well Niffty, you actually have to say the line. So let's roll again.

258. - Okay. - Action.

259. - You're doing great, Vagina. - Cut!

260. Alright, um, maybe we can try to fix it in post.

261. Do you even know what that means?

262. I'll figure it out.

263. Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel.

264. Seems like you're having a bit of trouble there, hm?

265. Ugh, este pendejo... Why are you even here?

266. For the entertainment!

267. I came here because I love seeing wasteful souls

268. struggle to accomplish something meaningful and fail spectacularly.

269. Like you are doing now!

270. Good Job!

271. And here is Alastor,

272. the egocentric piece of shit that—

273. I wouldn't try that my dear.

274. This face was made for radio!

275. That's it!

276. I don't care who or what you are.

277. If you are staying here, you are going to make this work.

278. Because it won't be so "entertaining"

279. to watch over an empty hotel will it, shitass?

280. Fair enough. I'll tell you what!

281. - Let's make a deal. - Pft!

282. Do you think I'm that stupid? Making a deal with a demon like you.

283. Not for your soul, just a simple deal.

284. I do this for you, and you never ask me to engage

285. with this frivolous television technology ever again.

286. Or... Charlie can come back to absolutely nothing!

287. your choice.

288. Fine.

289. Now then.

290. Alright, everyone! Let's make a fucking commercial.

291. When you take her out for the fifth time

292. and she still expects you to pay the check, but you're like,

293. "Hey I thought you wanted equality"

294. No! Our shared problem of

295. overpopulation in Hell.

296. Ohh! Well, that's not a problem! We got that covered.

297. Lute, how many demons did you kill this year?

298. Got a good 275 this year, sir.

299. 275? Whoa, Badass!

300. Awesome job, danger tits! Pound it.

301. Uh, no, not awesome.

302. Those are my people, you know that, right?

303. Ohhh, yeah...

304. That must suck for you. Hahahaha.

305. But these are souls.

306. Human souls, just the same as the ones you have up in Heaven.

307. They are not the same.

308. They had their chance and they earned damnation.

309. You're wrong.

310. Sinners made mistakes, sure,

311. but everyone makes mistakes.

312. Angels don't make mistakes.

313. You really think that?

314. I know that.

315. Yeah, I've never made a mistake in my fuckin' life

316. The only reason you're still here

317. is because Daddy gave you and your Hellborn-kind

318. a pardon from an exorcist blade.

319. How does that feel? To know how little you matter.

320. Oops, almost out of time. Guess we should get into it—

321. Oh! Fuck!--

322. I've got a lot to get through. and not a lot of time.

323. and I feel like you weren't really hearing me before, so here it goes.

324. Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself! Right! Extermination!

325. Well actually if you take a look—

326. Ugh...

327. Um, wait, didn't you—

328. Awh, shit!

329. Charlie.

330. How did it go? Did they listen?

331. Oh, uh... They sure did... hear it! But, um...

332. Oh! Come here. We have something exciting to show you!

333. Alastor pulled some strings, and it's about to air.

334. I pulled a few limbs too! Hahaha!

335. Wait? The commercial?

336. You all made a new one?

337. Yeah, one of my better performances, if I do say so myself.

338. That's... that's amazing.

339. Shush, it's starting!

340. Welcome to the Hazbin Hot—

341. Breaking news in Hell today!

342. We have just received word from the Heaven Embassy

343. that the next extermination is happening sooner than ever before.

344. - Do you know what that means Tom? - No. what does that mean, Katie?

345. It means we are all royally fucked.

346. Wait... What? Why?

347. We found the body, sir.

348. They've never managed to kill one of us before.

349. We should just go down there now and destroy them.

350. No, no. We can't risk them catching on.

351. But don't worry, when we come back,

352. there won't be a demon left alive to pull a stunt like this again!