1. "HARVEY BIRDMAN, ATTORNEY AT
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2. LAW"...
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3. I DECLARE A DO-OVER!
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4. 38 CASES?
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5. YEAH, PRETTY MUCH.
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6. WHOO!
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7. ♪ HA!
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8. WITH THE BEAK? ♪
♪ DO YOU REALLY WANT
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9. TO FEEL HIM? ♪
♪ HARVEY ATTORNEY
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10. TEENSY-TINSY TASTE FOR YOU!
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11. YEAH, SHE DOES
REALIZE THERE'S NO TEA IN THERE,
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12. RIGHT?
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13. HEY, I'D LIKE SOME
"A" WITH MY "TEA."
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14. GET IT?
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15. "TEA" AND "A"?
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16. HA HA!
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17. OH, Y-YOU'VE
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18. CUP.
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19. YOU BETCHA, TOOTS...
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20. EH, NOBODY GOT MY GAG.
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21. IE.
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22. MR. BIRDMAN, DON'T YOU THINK,
UH...
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23. YEAH, WHY YOU TALKING
TO ME?
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24. I NEVER TRIED YOUR CASE.
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25. REMEMBER?
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26. OF COURSE YOU DID.
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27. CHILDREN, AND THERE WAS A MAN, A
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28. TALL, GOOD-LOOKING FELLOW.
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29. I'M A FAILURE TIMES
37.
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30. MY LIFE IS OVER... TIMES 37.
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31. DADDY!
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32. PHIL.
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33. OH, IT'S NOT DA—
PHIL.
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34. IT'S JUST SOME OLD LADY GETTING
MUGGED.
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35. AN OLD LADY'S GETTING MUGGED!
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36. WE'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING!
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37. ONE OF THOSE 37 CASES THAT
HARVEY FLUBBED...
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38. HEY!
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39. IS WREAKING
HAVOC ON THAT HELPLESS, OLD
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40. LADY.
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41. WHAT TO DO?
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42. WHAT TO DO?
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43. STRIP TEA PARTY?
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44. I KNOW!
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45. "SUPERHERO SIDEKICK HANDBOOK."
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46. HERE IT IS, "SUPERHERO,
DEPRESSION" — PAGE 934.
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47. QUESTION ONE — "HAS YOUR
SUPERHERO BEEN DRINKING?"
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48. THAT'D BE A YES.
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49. WE NEED COFFEE!
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50. GOSH, ALL WE HAVE IS
THIS PRETEND TEA.
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51. OH, WAIT. I KNOW!
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52. OW!
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53. SOBER YET?
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54. "REMIND SUPERHERO
OF HIS WORTH TO SOCIETY."
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55. HA HA HA HA HA!
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56. I'M SORRY.
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57. WHAT DECADE ARE YOU LIVING IN?
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58. AS A LAWYER, YOU
TOOK AN OATH TO DEFEND JUSTICE.
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59. I'M NOT A LAWYER.
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60. I'M A FAILURE — F-A-I-L-Y-E-R.
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61. IS YOU'RE STILL A BIT TIPSY.
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62. I'VE HAD IT WITH
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63. THE SELF-PITY!
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64. LOST THIS YEAR?
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65. GO AHEAD.
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66. YOU'RE JUST GONNA
HAVE TO RETRY THOSE CASES, ALL
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67. 37 OF THEM.
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68. ON YOUR FEET, ATTORNEY.
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69. I AM A LAWYER.
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70. NOW A DRUNK LAWYER, MAYBE.
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71. HIT IT!
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72. UPHOLD THE LAW, DAMN IT!
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73. I'LL TAKE THE CASE!
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74. ALL 37 OF THEM!
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75. ONE LAST TIME — "TEA"
AND "A."
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76. GET IT?
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77. WELL, WE CERTAINLY
HAVE OUR WORK CUT OUT FOR US.
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78. WE'LL BAG 'EM.
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79. YOU TRY 'EM.
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80. HEY, UM, POINT OF CLARIFICATION.
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81. BY "WE," YOU MEAN NOT INCLUDING
THE PEANUT, CORRECT?
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82. BIRDLOCATOR!
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83. SUBJECT'S HEAD...
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84. PREPARING BIRD-ERANG.
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85. YOU HALT!
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86. THAT'S JUST BEAUTIFUL.
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87. WELL, THANK YOU.
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88. YOU BROKE THE STRAP.
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89. HA HA HA!
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90. FINAL EPISODE STUNT-CASTING.
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91. REVERSING.
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92. X the Eliminator: COME ON,
COME ON, COME ON, COME ON!
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93. THE BOBBIN KEEPS JAMMING,
MAN.
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94. IT'S WEIRD AND — HEY, IT FIXED
ITSELF.
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95. X the Eliminator: HAND IT
OVER!
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96. SO... NOW YOU ARE WEARING TWO
HOODS.
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97. X the Eliminator: I'VE GOT MY
OWN CREST.
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98. HA HA HA HA!
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99. OOH, CALLING BIRDMAN.
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100. ISLAND, RIGHT?
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101. CAN'T HEAR YOU.
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102. DON'T KNOW IF YOU NOTICED, BUT
I JUST GOT THE ONE EYE.
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103. YEAH, NOT A LOT OF PEOPLE GET
THE FACT THAT WITH A SINGLE EYE,
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104. LEFT OF WHERE THEY ACTUALLY ARE.
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105. NOT A LOT OF PEOPLE GET THAT.
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106. IN FACT, ONLY THREE DO... GET
THAT.
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107. NOBODY ELSE.
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108. TAKE THAT LADY THERE.
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109. WHEN I SEE THAT LADY — HEY, IT
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110. BABY.
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111. I'VE GOT TO ALLOW FOR THE FACT
THAT SHE'S THREE FEET TO THE
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112. LEFT OF WHERE SHE APPEARS.
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113. TO ME, AT LEAST — TO BE.
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114. CONGRATULATIONS!
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115. YEAH, IT JUST MADE THE OTHER
SENSES MORE ACUTE.
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116. THE OLD LIBIDO.
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117. MY GOD, THE SEX I'VE HAD AND
FORCED OTHERS TO WATCH.
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118. SAY, GOT ANY MUSIC?
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119. CLASSIC ROCK'S GOOD, BUT I'LL DO
EMO.
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120. CONCENTRATE.
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121. CONCENTRATE.
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122. YOU CAN DO THIS.
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123. HEY, HA-HAS!
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124. WHO SAYS A FELLOW NEEDS THUMBS?
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125. X the Eliminator: HE'S NOT
ANSWERING.
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126. OH, WAIT.
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127. HE DOESN'T HAVE CALLER I.D.,
DOES HE?
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128. FINE.
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129. NO, NO, REALLY.
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130. THAT'S FINE.
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131. IT'S PERFECTLY UNDERSTANDABLE
THAT HE'S MADE HIMSELF
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132. UNAVAILABLE — TO ME! — FOR
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133. POINT IN MY ADULT LIFE!
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134. I'M ALONE... ABANDONED.
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135. NOBODY CARES.
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136. YEAH, THAT'S ME, AN EXISTENTIAL
HULL OF BURNED-OUT "X" MEAT,
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137. SOLO.
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138. MAN.
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139. X the Eliminator: HEY, HELP
ME PUSH THIS.
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140. I'M GONNA END THIS WHOLE
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141. FOR ALL.
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142. YEAH, DONE PLAYING ON THE SEESAW
BY MYSELF.
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143. AAH!
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144. MY FOOT!
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145. JUDGE!
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146. I'D LIKE TO —
RETRY ALL THE CASES,
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147. WHICH WOULD BE FAB IF I DIDN'T
HAVE A 5:30 FLIGHT TO THE
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148. CAYMANS — A "VACA-NEYMOON."
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149. COCOA BUTTER — STAT!
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150. PLEASE, YOUR HONOR, I
BEG YOU!
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151. ALL RIGHT, YOU'VE GOT
ONE HOUR.
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152. HAVE YOU BEEN TOOTLING?
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153. SO?
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154. SO?
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155. COURTROOM-ING, OR WE'RE GONNA...
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156. I'M, ER, WAITING FOR
MY CLIENT.
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157. AND COUNTING.
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158. HO! WHAA!
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159. ONE DOWN.
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160. GUILTY!
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161. YOUR HONOR, THIS CASE
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162. CLIENT'S LAP.
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163. OUCH!
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164. IT WASN'T REALLY A
GUILTY/NOT GUILTY TYPE
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165. SITUATION.
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166. LOOK!
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167. IT'S A BLIZZARD.
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168. NUMBER TWO.
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169. OW, THAT "SMARTILAGE" IN THE
CARTILAGE.
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170. NYUH-NYUH-NYUH.
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171. GUILTY?
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172. NO OBJECTIONS.
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173. OKAY, HERE YOU GO — "GONE
WITH THE WIND" AND, UH,
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174. "CROTCH MASTER
SIX."
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175. DIRTY PICTURES.
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176. GOTCHA!
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177. SO, YOUR HONOR, THE
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178. CAMERA STARTS ON RACE.
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179. SHOULD A CHILD'S GUARDIAN — PAN
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180. SHAGGY/SCOOBY — BE ALLOWED TO
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181. POLITICAL BELIEFS, ALL THE WHILE
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182. FLOUTING COPYRIGHT PROTECTION,
RICO STATUTES, AND PUBLIC
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183. INDECENCY LAWS, THEREFORE
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184. NEGLIGENCE, AS WELL AS THE GREAT
STRIVES WE'VE MADE VIS-à-VIS
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185. LEGISLATION, SECOND AMENDMENT,
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186. AND —
TWENTY-SIX.
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187. AND, UH, FIRST
AMENDMENT RIGHTS, WORKING TOWARD
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188. A POSITIVE FUTURE, OR WILL WE
DEVOLVE TO A BARBARIC PAST?
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189. OR CONFRONT THEM, REMOVING ALL
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190. WRINKLES AND DOUBTS?
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191. SIXTEEN SECONDS.
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192. AND BARBARISM.
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193. 4... 3...
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194. THIRTY-EIGHT.
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195. LAWS WERE DICTATED
BY A ROLL OF THE DICE.
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196. TO THAT I SAY, "BE CAREFUL WHAT
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197. MIGHT GET IT!
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198. UNH-UNH.
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199. DON'T RUB THAT.
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200. I... WON'T.
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201. ARE YOU FINISHED?
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202. I THINK SO.
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203. SEE YOU IN A WEEK.
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204. YOUR HONOR!
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205. WHAT?
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206. DO YOU HAVE A RULING?
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207. OH, THAT.
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208. PREVIOUSLY ORDERED.
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209. I DID IT.
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210. I DID IT!
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211. YOU DID IT!
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212. ALL AT ONCE.
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213. MAYBE I AM A LAWYER, AFTER ALL!
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214. WELL, DON'T LOOK AT
ME.
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215. THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT.
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216. I'M PICKING UP ANOTHER TARGET.
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217. I-I DIDN'T FORGET SOMEONE, DID
I?
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218. OF US.
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219. SO WHO COULD THIS BE?
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220. ALL RIGHTY, THEN,
I'LL JUST BE GOING.
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221. TAKE TWO!
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222. OH, MY GOD, YOU
DIDN'T.
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223. YES, I DID.
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224. I DID THAT, MM-HMM.
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225. I SHOULD KNOW?
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226. MY FIRST CLIENT,
YEARS AGO.
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227. BUT HE'S NOT ON
THE LIST.
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228. HE WOULDN'T BE.
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229. I'D ALMOST FORGOTTEN ABOUT HIM,
BUT FOR LATE AT NIGHT, WHEN THE
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230. TERRORS COME.
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231. HE WAS GUILTY — SO GUILTY.
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232. BUT I WAS YOUNG AND IDEALISTIC.
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233. NOT THAT YOUNG.
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234. BURIED 40 STORIES UNDERGROUND.
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235. RECORDS, FORGOTTEN BY ALL.
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236. CASE NUMBER 398567703296.
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237. 7228489273124.
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238. 483395639462!
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239. 8.
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240. WHO IS IT?
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241. NITRON.
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242. AND HE'S NOT ALONE.
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243. DEATH-CON 12.
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244. HOW COULD YOU?
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245. HEY, NOBODY'S
PERFECT.
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246. THAT'S SPELLED WITH A "K."
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247. "PERFEKT" WITH A "K" AT THE END
THERE?
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248. THAT?
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249. LET'S SEE HERE.
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250. OVER THIS WAY, THEN THIS WAY, A
LITTLE THERE, DOUBLE BACK.
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251. HA HA!
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252. SHARP LEFT AND BACK.
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253. THIS IS NOT GOOD.
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254. OH, MY GOD,
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255. OH, MY GOD, OH, MY GOD,
OH, MY GOD, OH, MY GOD,
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256. OH, MY GOD, OH, MY GOD,
OH, MY GOD, OH, MY GOD.
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257. NITRON, A CATEGORY-5 VILLAIN.
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258. CATEGORY 5 — WHAT'S THAT MEAN?
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259. IT MEANS "UH-OH."
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260. HOW DO YOU KNOW?
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261. BIRDMAN, A CATEGORY-1 SUPERHERO.
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262. OH.
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263. WHEW.
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264. "NITRON IS KNOWN
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265. AND UTTER BRUTALITY.
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266. WEAKNESSES — NONE."
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267. NITRON, IT'S ME,
HARVEY, YOUR ATTORNEY.
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268. REMEMBER?
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269. "NOTE — DO NOT,
UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, TRY TO
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270. REASON WITH THIS VILLAIN!"
YEP, NITRON AND I ARE
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271. THING OUT REASONABLY, BECAUSE
WE'RE REASONABLE LIKE THAT.
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272. LOOK AT MY NEW TRAVEL CUP, MY
FRIEND.
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273. IT'S UNBREAKABLE, AND, MOST
IMPORTANT, SPILL FREE.
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274. MY LAP!
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275. YAWN.
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276. I'LL GO ANOTHER HOUR, AND THEN
YOU CAN TAKE OVER.
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277. HEY, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT
I'M STARVING.
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278. WHERE'S THE FAST-FOOD JOINTS
WHEN YOU NEED THEM, HUH?
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279. X the Eliminator: YOU!
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280. I'LL GET YOU!
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281. MAKER.
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282. "THINE MAKER"?
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283. THAT WAS A NICE TOUCH, HUH?
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284. HEY, YOU SEE AN OUTLET ANYWHERE
AROUND HERE?
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285. HEY, REMEMBER THAT
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286. BACK?
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287. THAN EVER!
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288. [ LAUGHING
HYSTERICALLY ]
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289. WAIT. YOU NEED HARVEY?
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290. WHAT'S HE GONNA DO, REFORM THEIR
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291. TORTS?
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292. WE DON'T NEED
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293. HARVEY.
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294. WE NEED... BIRDMAN!
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295. IN FACT, WE'RE GONNA NEED THE
ENTIRE BIRD TEAM FOR THIS ONE!
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296. I GOT IT! I GOT IT!
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297. I FIGURED OUT THE PROBLEM.
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298. THERE'S... NO... TEA IN THE CUP!
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299. THAT'S WHY I WAS HAVING TROUBLE
DRINKING IT.
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300. WELL, THAT, AND I AIN'T GOT NO
THUMBS.
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301. FOR GOD'S SAKE, BE CAREFUL!
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302. I WARNED YOU,
MR. APE GUY.
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303. YOU WOULDN'T LIKE ME WHEN I'M
PARCHED.
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304. SENTCHA!
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305. DOESN'T FEEL GREAT, DOES IT?
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306. WE'VE SEEN WHAT YOU
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307. TOWNSPEOPLE.
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308. FOLKS WHO CAN FIGHT BACK,
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309. NITRON?
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310. OH, THIS IS GOOD.
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311. THIS IS GOOD!
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312. FINALLY, HIS TIME HAS COME!
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313. YET?
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314. 3:00.
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315. SUCK IT, LADY!
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316. I'M ON MY BREAK.
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317. X the Eliminator: OUTLET NOW!
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318. OH, THIS IS GOOD.
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319. THIS IS GOOD!
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320. HEY!
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321. WATCH IT, BUB.
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322. THAT'S MY LINE.
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323. BIRD TEAM?
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324. YES?
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325. SPREAD OUT.
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326. NOT SO FAST, FELLA.
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327. BIRD-ERANG!
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328. SANS BIRD.
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329. OH, NO, THE CABLE'S GIVING OUT.
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330. YOO-HOO.
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331. WE'RE NOT GONNA BE KISSING.
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332. ARE.
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333. NORTH SOUTHWEST?
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334. I CAN NEVER REMEMBER.
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335. RAPPAHANNOCK, IT'S ONLY A HOP
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336. POCOMOKE.
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337. THIS THING GETS GREAT MILEAGE,
BY THE WAY.
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338. HEY, HEY!
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339. NO, NO!
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340. DON'T GO TO YOUR GENTLE PLACE.
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341. STAY ANGRY!
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342. HUH? WHERE AM I?
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343. SEE THAT GUY THERE?
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344. REMEMBER, YOU SENT HIM THAT
THING?
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345. THAT GUY?
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346. I DIDN'T SEND HIM NOTHING.
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347. THINGS SENT AND/OR RECEIVED, AND
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348. HIM...
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349. NOTHING.
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350. WELL, YOU DID, AND
HE GOT IT, BUT HE DIDN'T TELL
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351. YOU.
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352. WHAT?
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353. NOBODY COULD BE THAT CRUEL.
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354. OH, YEAH, HE GOT
IT.
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355. AND HE WAS LAUGHING ABOUT IT.
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356. "HEY, EVERYBODY, I GOT THAT
THING, BUT I'M NOT GONNA IN ANY
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357. WAY ACKNOWLEDGE RECEIPT OF IT."
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358. SENTCHA!
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359. THEY'RE GONNA HAVE TO
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360. REVISE YOUR PROFILE, NITRON.
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361. WEAKNESSES? BIRDMAN.
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362. SOMETHING'S WRONG.
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363. I'M... LOSING POWER.
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364. I'VE LOST CONTACT WITH THE SUN.
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365. OH!
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366. THESE REPORTS.
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367. PERSONAL QUESTION, LADY.
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368. LAID RECENTLY?
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369. GUESSING NOT!
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370. CAN'T REACH MY
TANNING CREAM.
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371. UH...
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372. Oh... fading.
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373. THANK YOU, MY FRIEND.
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374. I KNEW YOU'D BE THERE FOR ME.
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375. AND NOW TO FINISH THIS!
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376. IF IT HAS TO END,
CAN IT NOT BE WITH US KISSING?
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377. IT'S NOT THEM YOU
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378. WANT, NITRON.
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379. IT'S ME.
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380. LET THEM GO, AND I PROMISE NOT
TO FIGHT YOU.
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381. IT'S — OOH, THERE WE ARE.
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382. EWW!
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383. LET THEM GO!
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384. TAKE ME.
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385. DON'T DO THIS,
BIRDMAN.
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386. YEAH, DON'T DO THIS.
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387. WE FIGHT AS A TEAM.
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388. OH, CARAMEL WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO
BE PERFORMING TODAY, WOULD SHE?
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389. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
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390. IT'S OKAY.
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391. YOU'RE SAFE NOW.
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392. NOO!
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393. AS AN ATTORNEY, I
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394. SWORE TO UPHOLD THE TRUTH.
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395. AS A SUPERHERO, THE TRUTH IS
MINE TO UPHOLD.
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396. WAIT. WHAT?
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397. YOU'RE DOING IT!
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398. YOU'RE DOING IT.
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399. SECONDS, I'LL HAVE HIM.
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400. X the Eliminator: BIRDMAN'S
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401. DISTRACTED, AND I HAVE HIM CLEAN
IN MY SIGHTS.
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402. FINALLY!
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403. FINALLY!
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404. IT'S ALL COME TOGETHER!
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405. NOW IS THE PERFECT TIME!
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406. AAH-AAH!
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407. JUST A FEW MORE SECONDS!
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408. NOT HERE, NITRON.
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409. NOT IN MY TOWN.
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410. YOU DID IT!
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411. I DID... IT.
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412. MY LAP!
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413. WHO MISSED ME.
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414. DADDY?
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415. HA HA HA!
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416. STILL HOT.
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417. ANYONE ELSE?
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418. JUST STAFF ONLY.
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419. YES!
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420. HA HA HA HA!
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421. YES!
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422. YOU'VE DONE IT!
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423. PERFECT!
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424. X the Eliminator: I WAS GONNA
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425. OVER MY NEMESIS.
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426. "OLD ONE-EYE."
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427. YOU DO KNOW WHAT HE'S REFERRING
TO THERE, DON'T YOU?
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428. UM... YOUR ONE EYE?
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429. AHA HA.
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430. Black Vulcan: IN HIS PANTS.
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431. YAY!
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432. YOU... HAVE... DONE... IT!
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433. DONE WHAT?
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434. KILLED HARVEY BIRDMAN.
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435. KILLED?
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436. NO!
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437. HEY, THERE, NOT TOO
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438. FELLOW.
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439. GUY COULD GET JEALOUS.
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440. WHAT IS THAT?
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441. Black Vulcan: LOOKS LIKE LEAP
JUICE.
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442. NO, NO, NO.
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443. THAT'S JUST BRAKE FLU— EWW,
BIRDMAN'S BLOOD.
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444. YOU KILLED BIRDMAN!
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445. IT'S FINE.
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446. WE'LL JUST PRY THE BUS OUT,
DIG/EXCRETE HIM FROM THE IMPACT
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447. HOLE, AND SHIP HIM OFF TO SEBBEN
LABORATORIES.
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448. A NIP HERE, A HORRIFIC SCAR
THERE, AND HE'LL BE GOOD AS NEW.
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449. DADDY!
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450. TIMES YOU SAY THAT, IT'S STILL
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451. GONNA GET ME RI— OH, MY GOD!
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452. I JUST DID THE MATH.
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453. BY DADDY, YOU DON'T MEAN BEND ME
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454. FLAMER DOWN THERE.
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455. YOU MEAN DADDY.
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456. JUDY, DAUGHTER, IS IT YOU?
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457. YES!
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458. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU
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459. FATHER'S PANTS.
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460. NOW, THAT'S JUST SICK.
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461. AND ME HELPLESS, WITH THE ONE
EYE.
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462. AS MUCH AS I'M GLAD
YOU'RE HOME, I DON'T KNOW IF I
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463. TODAY.
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464. ONE RETURNS, AND, JUST
AS QUICKLY, ANOTHER'S GONE.
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465. NOW COMES A TIME FOR GRIEVING.
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466. AND THEN WE MOVE ON.
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467. X the Eliminator:
DIBS ON THE CREST.
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468. WELL, EVERYONE,
EVERYTHING'S BACK TO NORMAL —
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469. EVERYTHING.
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470. X the Eliminator: HEY, WAS
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471. THAT YOUR HAND?
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472. UH, NO.
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473. IT'S MINE.
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474. HA HA HA!
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475. LAST LAUGH.
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