1. THIS FOR THE LUNCHEON, THIS
FOR THE CLASS PICTURE, AND I WAS
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2. THINKING THIS FOR THE MIXER.
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3. WHERE'S HE GOING AGAIN?
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4. MY HIGH SCHOOL REUNION.
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5. NO TAFFETA?
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6. TAFFETA!
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7. DAMN IT!
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8. WELL, THAT SHOULD DO IT.
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9. SEE YOU ON MONDAY.
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10. WHAT WAS I THINKING?
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11. YOU NEED A BABYSITTER.
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12. OH, WHO OWES ME?
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13. WHO OWES ME?
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14. ALL RIGHT, EVERYTHING YOU NEED
TO KNOW IS IN THE BINDER.
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15. OH, DON'T FORGET SOCCER
PRACTICE.
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16. IT'S OUR TURN TO BRING CUPCAKES.
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17. BIRDMAN, GET IN HERE.
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18. SIGH.
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19. BIRDMAN, BIG NEWS.
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20. BIG NEW—WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
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21. HIGH SCHOOL REUNION.
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22. WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
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23. BIG NEWS—WAIT.
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24. ALREADY SAID THAT.
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25. WALK WITH ME.
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26. SO I GOT THIS TREMENDOUS
OPPORTUNITY—MY OWN LAW FIRM.
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27. MIGHT PUT MY NAME IN THE TITLE.
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28. GET A BIG S-SHAPED DESK.
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29. GREAT FOR INTERVIEWS.
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30. A SPIN-OFF, IF YOU WILL.
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31. BUT YOU ALREADY HAVE A LAW
FIRM.
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32. THAT'S THE PROBLEM WITH YOU,
BIRDMAN—SHORT-SIGHTED.
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33. GOT TO THINK BIG.
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34. SO... YOU'RE LEAVING US?
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35. I WOULDN'T SAY THAT.
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36. I'LL JUST BE EXTEMELY BUSY ON
THE NEW SHOW—UH, FIRM.
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37. BUT I'LL BE POPPING BY
OCCASIONALLY.
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38. THINK OF ME AS A CONTRIBUTOR,
A SENIOR CORRESPONDENT...
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39. IN LAW.
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40. BEFORE I GO, I'M GONNA NEED
SOMEBODY TO RUN THE SHIP,
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41. A NEW CAPTAIN.
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42. YES?
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43. HARVEY, YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR
ME THROUGH THICK AND—
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44. CHUNKY.
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45. AND NOW I'D LIKE TO REWARD YOU
BY—
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46. YES?
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47. MAKING YOU MY NEW—
UH, PHIL?
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48. HE'S GONE.
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49. NOW COMES THE TIME FOR GRIEVING.
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50. AND THEN WE MOVE ON.
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51. WHO'S THE CAT WITH THE BEAK?
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52. DO YOU REALLY WANT
TO FEEL HIM?
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53. HARVEY ATTORNEY
HABEAS CORPUS
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54. MARVEY ATTORNEY!
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55. AH, THE SWEET SMELL OF VACUUM.
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56. A VACUUM OF POWER.
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57. DEBBIE, GET ME McQUILKEN.
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58. DADDY?
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59. I LOVE THIS JOB.
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60. WHERE'S DADDY?
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61. UH, HE WENT ON A... UH...
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62. VACA... NEYMOON.
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63. VACANEYMOON?
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64. WITH AUNT PHYLLIS?
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65. HE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT—
THEY ELOPED.
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66. SILLY KIDS.
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67. BUT ELOPEMENT'S FOR THE
WEDDING, NOT THE VACANEYMOON.
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68. BE HAPPY FOR THEM.
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69. IT'S A JOYOUS TIME.
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70. DO YOU KNOW WHERE THEY'RE
STAYING?
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71. I NEED HIM TO SIGN THIS—
BLECH!--SEX-ED PERMISSION FORM
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72. FOR MY COMMUNITY COLLEGE HEALTH
CLASS.
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73. HE JUST SAID "COCOA BUTTER,"
AND LIKE THAT, HE WAS GONE.
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74. HA HA HA!
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75. NOT HERE, LITERALLY.
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76. BOOZE, BROADS, A STATUE.
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77. JUST LIKE COLLEGE, HUH?
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78. YEAH.
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79. ONLY THING THAT'D MAKE IT BETTER
IS HAVING YOU AROUND, BUT, HEY,
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80. YOU'RE IN SALES.
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81. YOU MANUFACTURE JUNK IN THE FAR
EAST AND MARKET IT AS JUNK FROM
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82. THE FAAAAAAR EAST.
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83. I'D HIRE YOU RIGHT NOW, BUT I
WOULDN'T WANT TO INSULT YOU.
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84. GO AHEAD, INSULT ME.
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85. YOU, UH, YOU WANT A JOB?
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86. IT'D BE LAUGHS.
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87. EVERYONE GET IN HERE!
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88. GANG, LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO
OUR NEWEST HIRE, CUBBY
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89. McQUILKEN.
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90. HEY, YOU DON'T HAVE THE POWER
TO HIRE PEOPLE.
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91. WANT TO BET?
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92. HEY, HA-HA, YOU'RE HIRED!
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93. HA HA!
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94. SAD.
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95. GAH!
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96. THE RACE WAR!
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97. IT'S STARTED.
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98. BACK OFF!
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99. HI, I'M BORED.
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100. WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
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101. FOR PETE'S SAKE, IT'S...
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102. THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND
CERTAINLY WELL PAST YOUR
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103. BEDTIME.
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104. THIS IS THE TREATMENT I GET
ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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105. BIRTHDAY?
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106. COMES ONCE A YEAR.
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107. PROVE IT.
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108. HOW?
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109. DRIVER'S LICENSE.
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110. IF I HAD A DRIVER'S LICENSE,
WOULD I NEED A BABYSITTER?
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111. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR
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112. BIRTHDAY?
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113. SLEEPOVER!
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114. YAY!
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115. I'M GONNA HAVE A SLEEPOVER!
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116. HMM, I'LL CALL JENNA AND JAYNA
AND JANNA AND—OOH, JENYA.
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117. HARVEY BIRDMAN?
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118. UH, YES...
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119. TEDDY.
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120. YOU REMEMBER THIS LADY?
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121. MARY VOLCANUS.
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122. YOU TWO DATED IN HIGH SCHOOL.
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123. WELL, NOT DATED.
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124. WENT TO DANCES—FROSH PROM,
JUNIOR PROM.
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125. SENIOR MIXER.
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126. I'LL LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE.
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127. LOOK, NO TWEAKING, NO
ADJUSTING, NO SCHMUTZING, NO
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128. SMUDGING, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY,
NO BREAKING.
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129. SIT IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS ROOM
AND DO NOT MOVE FROM THE MIDDLE
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130. OF THIS ROOM.
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131. OH, AND HAVE FUN.
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132. WELCOME TO PEANUT CHEZ
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133. L'BABY OL—OH.
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134. THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG!
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135. GOSH, WHAT COULD THAT BE?
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136. OH, HO HO HO, YEAH!
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137. YOU WEREN'T INVITED.
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138. THAT'S NO WAY TO TREAT YOUR
LITTLE FRIEND.
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139. JENNA?
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140. JAYNA?
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141. JA MO BE THERE?
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142. ATTENTION, EMPLOYEES.
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143. THIS IS PETER POTAMUS, YOUR CEO
PRO TEMPORARY.
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144. THERE'S CHANGES ASTUMP.
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145. PERHAPS YOU NOTICED.
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146. I HAVE JUST CONCLUDED AN
EXHAUSTIVE STUDY OF THE STATE OF
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147. THE FIRM, AND MY RESEARCH
INDICATES THAT INCOME...
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148. INCOME HAS BEEN STEADILY
TRENDING DOWN.
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149. SO, AS OF TODAY, WE'LL BE
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150. TRANSITIONING FROM THE PRACTICE
OF LAW TO THE PRACTICE OF
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151. SELLING STUFF, CUB-AMUS STUFF.
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152. TO EXPLAIN IT BETTER, I'D LIKE
TO INTRODUCE OUR VICE PRESIDENT
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153. OF STRATEGIC TARGETING AND
COLLATERAL DAMAGE, CUBBY
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154. McQUILKEN.
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155. GO AHEAD.
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156. HEY-DEE-HO-DEAH!
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157. MY NAME IS McQUILKEN, SO I'LL
KEEP IT McQUICKLIKE.
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158. HEH HEH HEH!
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159. I DON'T KNOW A BUNCH ABOUT
LAW.
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160. I AM A SALESMAN, BUT YOU
ALREADY KNOW THAT BECAUSE YOU
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161. USE MY PRODUCTS, LIKE THE
McSPILLKEN WONDER MOP...
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162. IT DUSTS AND BUFFS.
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163. THE McQUILLPEN...
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164. IT WRITES.
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165. AND MY LATEST, CHOKLIT
McQUILKEN, THE WONDER LOW-FAT
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166. CO-CO-A.
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167. BIG WITH BULIMICS.
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168. SALES IS MY LIFE.
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169. SALES BOUGHT ME THAT HOT TUB
FILLED WITH CASH, CASH!
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170. SERIOUSLY, IT'S FILLED WITH
CASH, WET CASH.
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171. AND IF EVERYBODY PLAYS BALL,
THAT'LL SIMPLY MAKE ME RICHER.
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172. HE DOESN'T NEED THIS JOB.
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173. JUST REMEMBER MY BUSINESS
PLAY IT FOR LAUGHS.
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174. McQUILKEN OUT!
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175. YOU STILL A SUPERHERO?
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176. NO, I'M A LAWYER NOW
PRETTY MUCH.
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177. OH.
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178. YEAH.
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179. YOU?
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180. NO, TV's PRETTY MUCH MY LIFE.
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181. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF I DIED?
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182. THAT'S ENOUGH.
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183. TIME FOR PARTY GAMES.
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184. SPIN THE BOTTLE...
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185. EWW.
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186. MEETS 7 MINUTES IN HEAVEN.
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187. WHAT'S THAT?
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188. YOU, ME, CLOSET, MAGIC.
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189. YOU REALIZE THERE'S
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190. ABSOLUTELY NO CHANCE WE'LL BE
KISSING, RIGHT?
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191. YEAH, DUH, OF COURSE.
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192. YOU'RE LIKE MY SISTER...
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193. WHICH, GIVEN A LITTLE THOUGHT,
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194. COULD BE A VERY HOT CONCEPT.
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195. YOU'VE REACHED CUB-AMUS
INDUSTRIES.
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196. WE'RE OUT PLAYING IT FOR LAUGHS!
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197. HA HA!
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198. THERE'S SOMETHING'S WRONG
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199. BACK AT THE OFFICE.
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200. DADDY'S—MR. SEBBEN'S NOT
ANSWERING HIS PHONE.
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201. WE'VE GOT TO ASSEMBLE THE
BIRDTEAM AND GET TO THE BOTTOM
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202. OF THIS.
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203. HOW DARE YOU!
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204. I LEAVE THE ROOM TO LOOK FOR MY
UNO DECK, AND YOU TWO END UP
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205. BUMPING UGLIES ON THE FLOOR LIKE
ANIMALS.
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206. OUT!
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207. THAT'S RIGHT.
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208. THE ORGY'S OVER, AND TO BED
WITH YOU, CALIGULA.
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209. YOU'VE GOT SUZUKI VIOLIN AND
FENCING IN THE MORNING.
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210. BIRDTEAM IS GO.
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211. I SUPPOSE A BEDTIME STORY IS
OUT OF THE QUESTION?
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212. UH, HELLO?
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213. DON'T YOU SEE THE BIRD
SIGNAL?
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214. BIRD SIGNAL?
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215. WHAT'S THE POINT OF HAVING A
SIGNAL IF NOBODY'S GONNA PAY
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216. ATTENTION?
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217. YOU CAN PARK THAT RIGHT HERE.
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218. HAVE YOU SEEN DADDY?
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219. I THINK THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG.
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220. WAIT.
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221. NOBODY'S TOLD YOU?
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222. SEE YOU IN 20 YEARS!
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223. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
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224. GETTING MARBLE-IZED.
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225. WHAT'S HE DOING?
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226. UH, FONDLING PHIL'S
COLLECTION OF COMMEMORATIVE EYE
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227. PATCHES.
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228. OUT!
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229. YOU CAN'T ORDER US OUT!
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230. WE'RE THE BOSS OF YOU—
BIRD-A-RANG!
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231. THAT FEELS NOT GOOD.
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232. YES?
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233. I'M HERE.
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234. WHERE ARE YOU?
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235. I'M HERE.
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236. WAIT.
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237. ARE YOU IN THE BOOKSTORE?
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238. YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO GO
WHERE THE BEACON ENDS.
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239. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO COME BACK
HERE!
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240. OH.
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241. WHAT'S GOING ON?
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242. CUB-AMUS?
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243. BIRDMAN, CUBBY McQUILKEN—
RUNNING BUDDY AND BUSINESS
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244. PARTNER.
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245. PHIL'S DEAD 10 MINUTES AND—
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246. YOU TAKE HIS NAME OFF THE
FIRM?
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247. YES, PHIL'S DEAD.
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248. DEAD, I TELL YOU!
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249. BUT IT'S WHAT DEAD PHIL WOULD
HAVE WANTED.
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250. DEAD?
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251. PHIL—DADDY—IS DEAD?
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252. WHO'S PHIL?
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253. I'M SORRY, JUDY.
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254. SHH!
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255. OH, OH, SORRY, BIRDGIRL.
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256. I SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU EARLIER,
BUT I WANTED TO TELL YOU IN
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257. PERSON.
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258. I UNDERSTAND.
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259. I DON'T REALLY, BUT LET'S JUST
GO WITH THAT.
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260. TELL ME, CAN YOU, UH, LET
JUDY KNOW?
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261. I'LL BE SURE TO TELL HER.
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262. NOW, BEFORE I LEFT, PHIL WAS
ABOUT TO PUT ME IN CHARGE, AND
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263. THAT BEING HIS LAST WISH, I
THINK I'LL JUST ABIDE BY IT.
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264. HERE.
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265. I WASH MY HANDS OF THIS FILTHY
BEAST.
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266. IF YOU COULD SEE WHAT HE DID TO
MY TOILE COVERLET!
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267. AAAH!
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268. WELL, EVERYBODY, I MEAN IT
WHEN I SAY THAT IN SOME WAY, WE
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269. ALL CARRY A PIECE OF PHIL DEEP,
DEEP INSIDE US.
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270. AAAH!
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271. AAAH-AAAH-AAAH-AAAH-AAAH-
AAAH!
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272. BACK OFF.
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273. [CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
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