Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law 4x1

Directed by Richard Ferguson-Hull

Avenger inexplicably starts talking. Peanut discovers a vase that, when rubbed, releases Shazzan, now in servitude to Peanut. Shazzan accuses Mentok of having imprisoned him in the vase centuries ago for gazing on the king's intended. Mentok was a genie called Mufti the Mizwa of Muzzy Tah in those days, one of several identities he has had over the years. Shazzan insists on Peanut representing him, and Mentok, after he is captured, manipulates Harvey into representing him. Mentok insists that Shazzan is attempting to frame him, and escapes from court to retrieve the halves of a magic disk that, when put back together and the magic word thus revealed is spoken (by Avenger), imprisons Shazzan in the vase again.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. AVENGER, COULD YOU HAND ME THAT FILE?

2. HAW.

3. YOU GOT IT.

4. PEANUT!

5. DID YOU HEAR THAT?

6. I THINK THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH AVENG—AAGH!

7. A SNAKE!

8. THEY EAT BIRDS!

9. HUH?

10. OH, RELAX.

11. FLUFFY'S HERE FOR THE RAT PROBLEM.

12. RAT PROBLEM?

13. PET THE SNAKE.

14. RAWK.

15. DON'T DO IT.

16. YOU SEE?

17. HE DID SAY SOME—UGH!

18. UM, YOU WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO

19. HAVE A 17-FOOT AQUARIUM LAYING AROUND SOMEWHERE, WOULD YOU?

20. 'CAUSE HE LIKES LIKES A NAPPY AFTER HE FEEDS.

21. ATTENTION, EVERYBODY!

22. I'M SIMPLIFYING!

23. I HAD SO MUCH STUFF IN MY OFFICE THERE WASN'T ROOM TO THINK.

24. GOD, I WAS SUFFOCATING IN THERE.

25. THE CLUTTER!

26. UH, GET RID OF THIS.

27. OH, I THINK I CAN DEFINITELY FIND A PLACE TO PUT THIS

28. LITTLE— OH, MY GOD!

29. HOW'D YOU GET IN THERE?

30. HOW INSENSITIVE COULD I BE?

31. HA HA HA!

32. POP GO THE BUTTSY ON THE LEFT-HAND SIDE.

33. IS HE GONE?

34. BETTER NOT SEE ANY OF THAT STUFF ON EBAY.

35. PHIL'S A ONE-EYED SNAKE.

36. WHAT'D YOU CALL ME?

37. IT'S AVENGER, PHIL.

38. HE'S TALKING!

39. DON'T HIDE BEHIND A BIRD, MAN!

40. SO, CALLING ME A PANTS PASTRAMI—

41. ONE-EYED SNAKE.

42. CALLING ME THAT, PERFECTLY FINE.

43. JUST SPROUT A PAIR OF PO-POS AND DO IT 3 FEET TO THE LEFT OF MY

44. FACE.

45. STINKY FACE!

46. ATTA-PEPPER!

47. FLUFFY'S NEW HOUSE!

48. WHAT THE— FINALLY!

49. I'VE BEEN IN THERE FOR WHAT SEEMS LIKE CENTURIES.

50. MM-HMM.

51. YEP.

52. CENTURIES.

53. HOW ARE YOU?

54. SHAZZAN.

55. I AM A GENIE!

56. SORT OF GUESSED THAT.

57. SO, WOW.

58. YOU'RE A GENIE.

59. INDEED!

60. NOW, HOW ABOUT WISHING ME SMALLER.

61. HA.

62. IT'S PROBABLY ME, BUT I DON'T THINK I HEARD THE MAGIC WORD.

63. PLEASE.

64. OTHER ONE.

65. MASTER.

66. OH, AS I WISH.

67. OH.

68. LITTLE BIGGER.

69. UM...

70. IS THERE— IS THERE SOMETHING ELSE IN HERE?

71. SOME THROW PILLOWS.

72. HI-FI.

73. NOTHING IMPORTANT.

74. HOW DID YOU GET IN THERE?

75. I WAS IMPRISONED BY MUFTI THE MIZWA OF MUZZY TAH!

76. I DEIGNED TO GAZE UPON THE

77. KING'S INTENDED.

78. YOU WERE LOCKED UP FOR OGLING SOMEONE'S MUFTI?

79. THAT'S OUTRAGEOUS!

80. I'LL TAKE THE CASE!

81. I'M AFRAID YOU CAN'T TAKE THE CASE, H.B., SEEING AS

82. HAMMER-TIME HERE SERVES ME.

83. IF IT PLEASES MASTER PEANUT.

84. HUH?

85. HE WILL TAKE THE CASE.

86. BUT HE'S NOT A LAWYER.

87. OH, MY GOODNESS.

88. LOOK AT THIS.

89. PEANUT, HARVARD LAW, '94.

90. "LAW REVIEW," PICK OF JOBS.

91. BUT WHAT WILL I DO IF I DON'T HAVE A CASE?

92. VET VISIT.

93. TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP] ♪ HA

94. UH WHO

95. IS THE MAN IN THE SUIT? ♪ ♪ WHO

96. IS THE CAT WITH THE BEAK? ♪ ♪ DO YOU REALLY

97. WANT TO FEEL HIM?

98. HARVEY ATTORNEY HABEAS CORPUS

99. MARVEY ATTORNEY HARVEY BIRDMAN

100. ATTORNEY AT LAW ♪ YOU KNOW, I LIKED YOU BETTER

101. BIGGER.

102. BUT, MASTER, I— BIGGER.

103. SO, MASTER, WHAT SHOULD WE DO ABOUT MY CASE?

104. OH, LOOK.

105. IT'S ALREADY ONESIES.

106. THAT CAN ONLY MEAN ONE THING.

107. AN ORDER OF TEA AND STRUMPETS.

108. YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T GO TO HARVARD OR ANYTHING, BUT IF I

109. WERE YOU, I'D SUGGEST GETTING A PICTURE OF THIS MUFTI.

110. I HAVE NO PICTURE OF MUFTI.

111. DEBBIE!

112. AHEM.

113. I CAN'T EVEN USE THE INTERCOM?

114. GO AHEAD.

115. BUT I PRESS THE BUTTON.

116. SEND IN THE SKETCH ARTIST.

117. IT'S OK, DEBBIE.

118. TALLER—NO, SHORTER.

119. FATTER THAN THAT, AND LESS IN THE CROTCH.

120. ADD 700 YEARS.

121. LOSE THE NOSE.

122. NO, THE SECOND NOSE.

123. IT'S- HIM!

124. JUDGE MENTOK?

125. WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THIS?

126. THIS IS MY QUIET TIME.

127. WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO TAKE YOU INTO CUSTODY.

128. HA HA.

129. THAT'S OUTRAGEOUS.

130. WHAT AM I CHARGED WITH?

131. DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU ANY MORE.

132. CLEARLY HAVEN'T BEEN READING YOUR SCALIA.

133. OFFICERS...

134. NOBODY TAKES THE MINDTAKER— NOT WHILE THERE'S MINDS TO

135. MENTAKE.

136. BOOOWEEEOOOO!

137. OOH WEEEOOO.

138. IT'S THE HELMETS.

139. THEY'RE ALUMINUM FOIL, RIGHT.

140. I CAN'T—THAT DOESN'T WORK WITH WHAT I DO.

141. I'M SURE THE VET WILL KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON.

142. THE NAZIS.

143. PRETTY BIRD.

144. AVENGER BIRDMAN.

145. I HAD TO GIVE THEM A LAST NAME.

146. THAT'S RIGHT.

147. NICE AND EASY.

148. INTO THE CUP.

149. INTO THE CUP!

150. HEY!

151. OW!

152. HERE!

153. YOU HOLD THE CUP, AND I'LL GRAB YOUR—

154. JUDGE!

155. I'D BE HAPPY TO REPRESENT YOU.

156. HONORED IN FACE, YOUR...

157. UH, HONOR.

158. BUT I'M A LITTLE BUSY.

159. I SEE.

160. WELL, LET'S PLAY A LITTLE GAME.

161. ROCK, PAPER, MENTOK.

162. OK!

163. I'M ACTUALLY GOOD AT THIS.

164. ROCK, PAPER, MENTOK, SHOOT.

165. MENTOK, I WIN.

166. NOW GET DOWN HERE.

167. DAMN IT!

168. SO, I'M CONFUSED.

169. YOU ARE MUZZY MUFTI?

170. WAS.

171. LONG TIME AGO.

172. I WAS YOUNG.

173. IT WAS THE SEVENTIES.

174. THE ACTUAL SEVENTIES, BY THE WAY.

175. THIS WAS BEFORE RELIGION— AND CONDOMS.

176. GOOD TIMES.

177. AND THESE MURDERS AND PILLAGING.

178. YOU DID THIS STUFF?

179. OF COURSE NOT!

180. WHO DO YOU THINK I AM— SOME OF IT.

181. IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN.

182. I'LL JUST SHOW IT TO YOU.

183. OH!

184. THE LIGHT.

185. IT'S SO BRIGHT.

186. I SEE MY MOTHER.

187. WAIT!

188. THAT'S NOT MY MOM.

189. IT'S YOU!

190. WHY ARE YOU WEARING HER BRASSIER—

191. WAIT.

192. YOU'RE A GENIE?

193. USED TO BE A GENIE.

194. I WAS ALSO A SEX WORKER, A COSSACK, AND AN EST INSTRUCTOR

195. FOR A SUMMER IN MARIN.

196. MY POINT?

197. I'M IN JAIL, YOU IDIOT!

198. LOOK, SHAZZAN HAS EVERYONE FOOLED.

199. HE'S TRYING TO PIN IT ON ME.

200. SO, WE'LL, UH—WE'LL, JUST GO TO THE JUDGE AND TELL HIM YOUR

201. STORY.

202. I'M A JUDGE!

203. WE DON'T BELIEVE ANYTHING.

204. THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY OUT OF THIS

205. MESS.

206. THERE'S THIS MAGIC DISK AND IT'S IN TWO PIECES.

207. AND IF YOU PUT THE PIECES TOGETHER AND SAY THE MAGIC

208. WORDS, SHAZZAN GOES BACK IN THE BOTTLE.

209. WHAT SAY YOU BREAK ME OUT OF HERE AND I CAN LOOK IN THE USUAL

210. PLACES.

211. A JAILBREAK?

212. YOUR HONOR, I TOOK AN OATH.

213. I CAN'T POSSIBLY HELP— STARE INTO MY BWEOO.

214. BWEEEOOO— AHEM, I NEED A LITTLE WATER.

215. ALL RIGHT, GET ME AN

216. AMBULANCE!

217. WE GOT A BREAKOUT ON 5.

218. CORDON OFF A 10-BLOCK RADIUS!

219. UH, HE'S RIGHT HERE.

220. HE'S OVER HERE.

221. OH, DAMN.

222. WORKED IN THE MOVIES.

223. OH, HOLD ON, WILL YOU?

224. HARVEY, YOU MIGHT WANT TO GET THIS THING MARTINIZED.

225. IT KIND OF SMELLS LIKE ROQUEFORT.

226. I THINK IT'S ROQUEFORT.

227. WISHED FOR A BOAT, WISHED FOR A BIGGER BOAT.

228. WISHED FOR A TASTELESS STATUE WITH PUBIC HAIR.

229. WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO WISH FOR?

230. MASTER, PERHAPS WE SHOULD WORK ON MY CASE.

231. IF WE'RE NOT CAREFUL, THE EVIL MUFTI WILL ESCAPE MY—UH...

232. OUR CLUTCHES.

233. AH.

234. I GOT IT.

235. I WISH FOR A DRINK NAMED AFTER ME.

236. PEA-ING NUT-GASM.

237. NUTTING PEA-GAS— EH, WE'LL WORK ON THE NAME.

238. NO.

239. PARDON ME?

240. ENOUGH WITH THE WISHES.

241. NO MORE WISHES TODAY.

242. TOMORROW, MAYBE WE TALK, BUT TODAY, YOU DONE FRESH OUT OF

243. WISHES.

244. HA HA HA.

245. HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN WHO BE THE MASTER IN THIS SCENARIO?

246. SHAZZAN.

247. YEAH, THAT IS.

248. THAT'S A BIG GEE WHIZ.

249. SAY, WHAT DO YOU SAY WE FIGURE A WAY OUT OF HERE?

250. YOU GOT ANY WEAPONS, DETONATORS, FULMINATE OF MERCURY?

251. NO.

252. JUST THIS MAGIC ROPE AND VANISHING DUST.

253. OH, AND THE OPAL OF KNOWLEDGE.

254. THE OPAL OF KNOWLEDGE!

255. KAZOWIE!

256. THANKS.

257. I'LL JUST—YEAH, THANK YOU.

258. WHAT SAY WE USE THE GO-AWAY DUST ON OLD CHUCKIE HERE...

259. WHILST NANCY AND PEANUT TAKE A LITTLE MAGIC CARPET RIDE.

260. HAND ME THAT ROPE, DEAR.

261. HMM.

262. LET'S GET THIS CIRCUS ROLLING.

263. GO AHEAD, BUT MAKE IT FAST.

264. AREN'T WE MISSING SOMETHING?

265. UH, WHAT?

266. YOU'RE ATTORNEYS.

267. MY GOD, YES!

268. I APOLOGIZE, YOUR HONOR.

269. MY MIND WAS TAKEN— BY OTHER MATTERS.

270. YOU GOT 5 MINUTES.

271. AHEM.

272. OH, GREAT NARDS OF NAZIR.

273. SHAZZAN!

274. AND SHAZZAN.

275. AND SHAZZAN.

276. WHERE AM I?

277. GOOD.

278. BACK TO NORMAL.

279. CALL A WITNESS.

280. YEAH, UM...

281. BEFORE THAT, YOUR HONOR, I'D LIKE TO...

282. BRING IT TO...

283. UM...

284. HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT HE'S DOING.

285. I TOLD HIM SO.

286. THE, OH, GOSH.

287. WHAT DO YOU CALL THE— COURT.

288. IT'S WHERE— COURT'S ATTENTION.

289. COURT'S ATTENTION.

290. UH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

291. THAT...

292. ER, UH...

293. OPPOSING COUNSEL HAS BEEN...

294. WITH...

295. WITHHOLDING EVIDENCE.

296. ARE YOU INSANE?

297. I LIKE THE OLD HARVEY BETTER.

298. AL-A-KA BWEEOO!

299. OLD SCHOOL.

300. UM...

301. WITHHOLDING EVIDENCE, EVIDENCE VITAL TO MY CLIENT'S

302. DEFENSE.

303. NAMELY, A MAGIC DISK.

304. I HAVEN'T WITHHELD IT.

305. I'VE FORGOTTEN WHERE I PUT IT.

306. BIG DIFFERENCE.

307. AND EVEN IF I HAD IT, I'D NEVER TURN IT OVER TO THIS

308. MADMAN!

309. WHAT THE— I MAY BE MAD,

310. BUT YOU ARE FINISHED.

311. UH, WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?

312. UM, YOU.

313. NAME.

314. MUFTI.

315. HUH?

316. THAT YOU, BIRDMAN?

317. OH.

318. HEY.

319. REGARDING THE TALC SITUATION— YOU'RE OUT OF IT!

320. POTAMUS?

321. HUH?

322. DID YOU FLUSH?

323. WHO SAID THAT?

324. I DID, FATASS.

325. MINE GOD!

326. A TALKING ANIMAL...

327. JUST AIN'T RIGHT!

328. SKEEVIN' ME OUT!

329. OF COURSE!

330. THAT'S WHERE I PUT IT!

331. SAY IT!

332. WHAT?

333. SAY THE WORDS— ON THE MAGIC URINAL DISK.

334. THEY WON'T WORK IF I SAY IT.

335. I WOULD, BUT I FORGOT MY READING GLASSES.

336. OH, FOR PETE'S— SAY IT!

337. OH, YOU DON'T TALK.

338. WHO IS GOING TO SAY THESE WORDS?

339. RAWK, I WILL!

340. GREAT!

341. A BIRD?

342. EH, I GUESS IT WILL WORK.

343. FILL THE CUP.

344. THIS CUP?

345. THAT CUP.

346. ANYTHING.

347. JUST PLEASE, FOR GOD'S SAKES SAY THE WORDS!

348. MUZZY TAH!

349. WELL, EVERYBODY,

350. WE HAVE OUR OLD BUDDY AVENGER TO THANK FOR GETTING US OUT OF THAT

351. JAM.

352. LET'S GIVE HIM THE 21-BIRD SALUTE.

353. I'VE GOT IT!

354. WHAT?

355. ARABIAN KNIGHT...

356. WITH A "KN."

357. GET IT?

358. I KNOW A GREAT DECORATOR.

359. WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT BEFORE?

360. THE BIRD'S TEST RESULTS CAME BACK.

361. LOW SPERM COUNT, HA HA, AND FRIGHTENINGLY HIGH LEVELS

362. OF—OH, MY GOODNESS, T.H.C.!

363. OY.

364. [CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE