Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law 3x5

Directed by Richard Ferguson-Hull

Turner Classic Movies’ Robert Osborne introduces a “recently discovered” episode of the “classic” Birdman series. In this episode, a pre-law Harvey encounters a few of his future courtroom adversaries who try to kill him.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. HI. I'M ROBERT OSBORNE.

2. ANIMATED SHOW "HARVEY BIRDMAN,

3. ATTORNEY AT LAW."

4. IN FACT, IF YOU'RE PERSISTENT,

5. LATE AT NIGHT ON CABLE, BUT DID

6. CAREER BEFORE HE WAS A LAWYER?

7. THAT'S RIGHT.

8. BIRDMAN'S FIRST CAREER CAME NEARLY 40 YEARS EARLIER AS—GET

9. "BIRDMAN AND THE GALAXY TRIO."

10. WELL, TONIGHT WE HAVE A REAL TREAT FOR YOU.

11. ONE, BUT WITH SEVERAL VILLAINS,

12. "HARVEY BIRDMAN, ATTORNEY AT

13. LAW."

14. HERE'S 1967's AWARD-WINNING SHORT "BUSY DAY FOR BIRDMAN."

15. BIRDMAN!

16. THEY EVACUATED THE PENTAGON.

17. VERY SMALL SIZE.

18. ICED CREAMS.

19. ICED CREAMS FOR SALE.

20. QUIESCENTLY FROZEN CONFECTIONS.

21. ALL RIGHT.

22. WHO'S READY FOR SOME SOFT SERVE?

23. I HAVE CHOCOLATE, VANILLA, COFFEE, STRAWBERRY, MAPLE

24. WALNUT, PISTACHIO NUT, BUTTER PECAN, CHOCOLATE CHIP, MINT

25. CHOCOLATE CHIP, MOCHA CHIP, CHERRY VANILLA, MUD BOG, PEANUT

26. BUTTER CUP, CHOCOLATE DECADENCE, BLACK RASPBERRY, FRENCH VANILLA,

27. GERMAN CHOCOLATE, AND PINA

28. SIZE—SMALL.

29. BACK OFF.

30. HE SHRUNK THE PENTAGON.

31. I BET THAT GUN DOESN'T DISPATCH ANY KIND OF ICE CREAM AT ALL...

32. OR IF IT DOES, ONLY ONE FLAVOR.

33. BACK UP. FORM A LINE.

34. NO CUTTING.

35. PLEASE HAVE YOUR MONEY READY.

36. TO ITS ORIGINAL SIZE.

37. I WANT MINE WITH SPRINKLES.

38. THIS OR THIS?

39. THIS OR THIS?

40. I CAN'T TELL ANYMORE.

41. I'M ALL MIXED UP.

42. WHAT IS IT THAT YOU WANT?

43. WHAT I DESIRE IS POWER, JUST A TINY BIT OF IT, THOUGH, NOT A

44. LOT, BUT I MUST HAVE BIRDMAN OUT OF THE WAY.

45. YOU WILL SEND HIM TO ME.

46. BIRDMAN, WE NEED YOUR HELP.

47. POPULACE AND DEMANDS TO SEE YOU.

48. HIM.

49. ACTUALLY, BEFORE YOU GO THERE, I WAS WONDERING IF YOU

50. COULD SWING BY HERE FIRST.

51. WHY? WHAT IS IT?

52. WELL, I CAN'T MOVE MY RIGHT ARM.

53. OH, GOD. OHH! UGH!

54. GAH... OOH... G-GOD.

55. NOPE. COULD BE LOCKJAW.

56. I'LL BE RIGHT THERE, FALCON 7, AFTER I DEAL WITH

57. REDUCTO.

58. WAIT, BIRDMAN.

59. I SAID COME HERE FIRST.

60. COME ON, AVENGER.

61. SPEAK OF.

62. CHOICE.

63. HMM, ALMOST THERE.

64. JUST A FEW MORE SECONDS.

65. SHOULD MELT ANY MINUTE NOW.

66. THAT WAS AN AUTOMATIC DOOR.

67. FRONT OF IT, AND IT WOULD HAVE

68. SLID OPEN.

69. LOOK BEHIND YOU.

70. IF I LOOK, HE MIGHT BLAST ME,

71. SOMETHING BEHIND ME.

72. OH, GOD, THERE'S SOMETHING BEHIND ME, ISN'T THERE?

73. IS THERE? AAH! SHRINKIE DINK.

74. NOW, HOW DID THAT HIT MY SHRINKPACK, AND NOT ME?

75. WHAT'S THIS? ANTS.

76. THEIR ANTENNAE, BUT JUST TO BE

77. SAFE...

78. GETTING TO THE SUN.

79. OH, NO.

80. YES?

81. BIRDMAN.

82. LITTLE BUSY, FALCON 7.

83. OH.

84. THOUGHT YOU'D BE DONE BY NOW.

85. NOPE, AND NOW I'M TRAPPED IN A SPIDER WEB.

86. STOP DAWDLING, BIRDMAN.

87. THE OBSERVATORY.

88. HERE COMES A SPIDER...

89. WITH ONLY 6 LEGS.

90. BOMB OR GIMP SPIDER?

91. I'D SAY HYDROGEN BOMB.

92. I'M ON MY WAY.

93. THE MIGHTY BIRDMAN.

94. TELL ME WHERE YOU'VE HIDDEN THE

95. HYDROGEN BOMB, VULTURO?

96. HA HA HA!

97. DRAT. I SHALL TRY AGAIN.

98. DO HOLD STILL.

99. OH, DEAR.

100. I'VE BEEN STRUCK IN THE PACK.

101. HYDROGEN BOMB.

102. THE.

103. UH, I'M SORRY.

104. DIDN'T CATCH THAT LAST PART.

105. IT'S IN THE HEAD OF THE

106. ONE MORE TIME.

107. NOW BACK TO REDUCTO'S TO ENLARGE MYSELF.

108. MY, BUT THAT TOOK A LONG TIME TO FIX, ALL THOSE TEENSY SCREWS

109. AND TINY GEARS, BUT THANKFULLY, NOTHING CAN HURT IT NOW.

110. IT.

111. OH, GREAT. SURE.

112. FLY AWAY SO I CAN'T SMASH YOU LIKE A WASP.

113. AAH! GIANT EAGLE.

114. SIZE OF A LITTLE BIGGER?

115. I CAN'T REMEMBER.

116. I BELIEVE YOU WERE WEE.

117. OH, SWEET TEENSY BLISS.

118. GOOD-BYE, LARGE WORLD.

119. I DON'T SEE REDUCTO ANYWHERE.

120. DO YOU?

121. WAIT. THERE HE IS.

122. NO. THAT'S A PIECE OF LICORICE.

123. ALL RIGHT.

124. WELL, NOW TIME FOR SOME WELL-DESERVED R&R.

125. LOWER. LOWER, OLD FRIEND.

126. AHH, THAT'S IT.

127. BIRDMAN, SOME FIEND IS USING

128. OF WORLD LEADERS.

129. WE'VE TRACED THE SOURCE TO SOMEWHERE IN THESE VOLCANOES.

130. TREACHERY.

131. I DON'T KNOW, AVENGER.

132. THAT ONE THERE.

133. BIRDMAN, AS I EXPECTED, FOR I AM MENTOK THE MINDTAKER.

134. OVER TO THE LEFT?

135. UH, NO, THE OTHER LEFT.

136. THERE YOU GO. OK.

137. IF YOU WOULDN'T MIND HOLDING STILL...

138. YOU'RE DOING GREAT.

139. THANKS A LOT.

140. JUST STAY RIGHT THERE, BIRDMAN.

141. YOUR MIND, AND YOUR WINGS ARE

142. MISSING, TOO.

143. MY MIND, AND MY WINGS ARE

144. MISSING, TOO.

145. UH, YOU DON'T HAVE TO REPEAT WHAT I'M SAYING.

146. I DON'T HAVE TO REPEAT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.

147. UH, I MEAN IT. STOP IT.

148. I MEAN IT. STOP IT.

149. YOU MEAN IT. STOP IT.

150. OK. LET'S TRY THIS.

151. YOU ONLY DO IT WHEN I SAY, "MENTOK SAYS," OK?

152. OK. GOOD.

153. OK. GOOD.

154. I DIDN'T SAY, "MENTOK SAYS."

155. YOU DIDN'T SAY— ALL RIGHT.

156. I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.

157. AND PRESENT MY LIST OF DEMANDS.

158. "LIFETIME SUPPLY OF TAB, MENTOK'S FACE ON THE DOLLAR,

159. DINNER WITH MAMIE VAN DOREN..."

160. SPELL.

161. THAT'S WHY I DON'T HAVE TO FULLY

162. FRONT OF HIM.

163. FOR HIM EXCEPT THE TAB PART.

164. NO TAB. DIET RITE. NO TAB.

165. FOLLOWING BIRD.

166. FOLLOWING PRETTY BIRDIE.

167. HUH? WHAT?

168. WHAT AM I DOING HERE?

169. UNDERPANTS?

170. THE SUN'S RAY MUST HAVE HELPED ME BREAK MENTOK'S HOLD OVER MY

171. MIND.

172. THANK YOU, OLD FRIEND.

173. MENTOK.

174. BREAKER 1-9, BREAKER 1-9.

175. BIG BIRD, DID YOU GET MY DIET SODA, OVER?

176. NO, I DIDN'T, MENTOK.

177. OOPS.

178. SOMEBODY GOT HIS MIND BACK.

179. WELL, DON'T BOTHER COMING BACK, THEN.

180. BUT I AM, TO DESTROY YOUR CONTRA-RAY.

181. HEY, AS OF YET UNSEEN SCIENTIST PERSON, YOU, FIRE THE

182. MISSILE.

183. I NEED MORE POWER, MORE SOLAR POWER.

184. JUST ABOUT ALL CHARGED UP.

185. OF MENTOK.

186. BIRDMAN, A MADMAN HAS STOLEN

187. ROCKET.

188. BUT, FALCON 7, I'M DECOUPAGING.

189. IF I LEAVE NOW, IT MAY BUBBLE.

190. WE NEED YOU, BIRDMAN.

191. OHH!

192. OH, LOOK. HERE HE COMES.

193. I'LL OPEN THE DOOR FOR HIM.

194. OR HE CAN USE THE CEILING.

195. I WANT ANSWERS, MR. "X."

196. ROCKET?

197. UM, TO GET YOU HERE?

198. HOLD STILL.

199. WITH MY VICE RAY, I'VE— OK. HOLD ON. LITTLE STUCK HERE.

200. WITH MY VICE—UGH!

201. IT WON'T BUDGE. I GUESS IT—

202. TO SHOW UP, MR. TARDY.

203. SAY, YOU WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO HAVE ANY WD-40.

204. OH. NO, NO. HERE WE GO.

205. WITH MY VICE RAY, I SHALL HOLD

206. CREST.

207. GOT TO RUN.

208. THREEPIO, THREEPIO.

209. ON THE DETENTION LEVEL, WILL

210. YOU?

211. ON THE DETENTION LEVEL.

212. ANY LONGER, AND I WOULD HAVE BEEN A LOT THINNER, OLD FRIEND.

213. HEY, YOU DROPPED THE ROPE.

214. WHAT'S THIS?

215. OOH, I THINK I JUST WET MYSELF.

216. WELL, AT LEAST I CAN AIR-DRY.

217. CARE OF "X" THE ELIMINATOR.

218. HEY, BIRDMAN! HI!

219. I'M ON A POOP DECK.

220. LITTLE HELP. GLUB!

221. TAKING ON WATER. TAKING IT ON.

222. BIRDMAN, A MADMAN IS CAUSING EARTHQUAKES.

223. OHH!

224. BIRDMAN, A PIRATE IS LOOTING SOME BOOTY.

225. ARGH.

226. DOODY.

227. UGG. OOH!

228. JUDY.

229. AAH!

230. HA HA HA! ING.

231. THAT'S IT, FALCON 7. I QUIT.

232. QUIT? AND DO WHAT?

233. I DON'T KNOW, A REGULAR JOB LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE HAVE, A DESK

234. REGULAR WORK, WORK YOU GET PAID

235. FOR.

236. BIRDMAN, GET IN HERE.

237. A MR. PEEBLES IS SUING MR. DIBBLE.

238. SIGH.

239. AND THAT WAS 1944's "DOUBLE INDEMNITY" WITH FRED MacMURRAY

240. AND, OF COURSE, THE GLORIOUS BARBARA STANWYCK.

241. NOW, LATER, FRANK CAPRA WOULD

242. REYBURN, WHOM HE EVENTUALLY DID

243. ROBERT TAYLOR.

244. WELL, THAT'S IT FOR TONIGHT.

245. THANKS FOR WATCHING, AND I'LL SEE YOU NEXT TIME.

246. [CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL

247. —www.ncicap.org—] BIRDMAN!