Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law 3x2

Directed by Richard Ferguson-Hull

Murro the Maurader sues Harvey for injuries suffered in 1967. Murro's lawyer, the psychically bombastic Shado the Brain Thief, not only litigates Murro's case, but he introduces a class action lawsuit as well. Harvey begs Potamus to take the case and the hippo litigates on Harvey's behalf.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. - NOW FOR THE WEAPON THAT WILL FINISH YOU OFF—

2. YOUR OWN WINGED SHADOW.

3. - MURRO CONTROLS THE SHADOWS WITH HIS RING.

4. I MUST STOP HIM AND MY SHADOW DOUBLE.

5. - OW!

6. - WELL, AVENGER, I THINK WE WON'T BE HEARING FROM MURRO THE MARAUDER

7. FOR A LONG TIME.

8. - CAW!

9. - OH. CAN'T—CAN'T GET UP.

10. OW!

11. MY LEGS! I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS!

12. I CAN'T FEEL MY D...

13. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

14. - I CAN PROBABLY GET IT DOWN TO 70 MILES PER HOUR,

15. BUT THE MONKEY IN THE TRUNK

16. IS GOING TO BE A LITTLE DIFFICULT.

17. ALL RIGHT, READY FOR THE NEXT CASE.

18. - CAW!

19. - SOMEONE GOT A SUMMONS.

20. CONGRATULATIONS, HARVEY.

21. - A SUMMONS? REALLY?

22. WHERE DID I PUT MY GLASSES?

23. - HERE. USE MINE.

24. - THANKS.

25. - "COME NOW, MURRO THE MARAUDER,

26. "AND STAND BEFORE THIS COURT IN YOUR COMPLAINT AGAINST BIRDMAN.

27. PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL SUFFERING SUSTAINED IN 1967—"

28. A MILLION DOLLARS!

29. - I'M BEING SUED!

30. RIGHT?

31. - YEAH. I THINK THAT'S FAIR TO SAY.

32. - QUICK. I NEED A LAWYER!

33. - WAIT— - I NEED A GOOD LAWYER NOW!

34. - HEY, ANYBODY GOT AN EXTRA SET OF TROUSERS?

35. DAMN INTERN RIPPED MY GOOD CHINOS.

36. - SAVE ME!

37. - YEAH, SURE, BUT I'M GOING TO NEED YOUR BELT.

38. - WHO'S THAT GUY?

39. - FOOLS!

40. I AM SHADO, THE BRAIN THIEF.

41. I AM A NEW LAWYER AT FREEZOID, ZAROG, & SKON,

42. HIRED FOR MY PERSUASIVE POWER OVER JURIES.

43. I SHALL DEMONSTRATE.

44. - MUST OBEY EVIL LEPRECHAUN.

45. - NEED I GO ON?

46. - CAN I GET THE RUBBER BACK?

47. - LET US START.

48. - HI, Y'ALL!

49. - SAVANNA!

50. WHO'S READY FOR SOME LAP CANDY?

51. - I WILL HAVE THE CARB SALAD.

52. - NONSENSE.

53. WE'LL HAVE 4 BLOOMIN' ONIONS

54. AND THE FULL SLAB OF BABY BACKS FOR THE TABLE.

55. - I AM NO LONGER EATING PORK!

56. I JUST TELEPATHICALLY COMMUNICATED

57. THAT I AM NO LONGER EATING PORK.

58. - YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

59. SO THIS ONE BLASTED THIS ONE A COUPLE OF CENTURIES AGO

60. AND NOW HE'S LOOKING TO CASH IN.

61. WHAT'S IT GOING TO TAKE TO MAKE THIS GO AWAY?

62. - A FORTUNE FOR YOU.

63. MY CLIENT HAS EXPRESSED HIS DESIRE TO PURSUE THIS CASE IN COURT!

64. - WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO HAVE A VOLUME KNOB

65. ON THAT THING, WOULD YOU?

66. - I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER BLASTING THIS GUY.

67. IT WAS SUCH A LONG TIME AGO.

68. MAYBE I DID RUIN HIS LIFE. YOU EVER THINK ABOUT THAT?

69. - CAW?

70. - YOU ARE GOING TO LOSE.

71. YOU ARE GOING TO LOSE.

72. - ARR!

73. CURSE YOU, SHADO, FOR ENTERING MY HEAD.

74. ANYWAY, COULDN'T THERE BE HUNDREDS

75. OF PEOPLE I'VE INJURED THROUGH THE YEARS?

76. - NAH.

77. - HUH?

78. - HMM?

79. - ER?

80. - WHAT? - WHAT?

81. - LOOK OUT!

82. - I FOUND SOME DOCUMENTS THAT—

83. - WHAT THE— - ARE YOU GOING TO WORK ON MY CASE?

84. - OK, OK.

85. HERE. REQUEST FOR DISCOVERY, MEDICAL RECORDS,

86. MATERIALS—TWO WEEKS.

87. YOU HAPPY?

88. NOW I GOT A PRESSING ENGAGEMENT AT THE LUCKY SPA.

89. - WHAT'S GOING ON?

90. - PRIDE WEEKEND?

91. - HIPPO, BIRD...

92. AND WHO ARE YOU?

93. - I AM SHADO THE BRAIN THIEF!

94. - HO HO!

95. NO, YOU DON'T.

96. NO BRAIN-THIEVING IN MY COURTROOM, YOU UNDERSTAND?

97. THIS IS MIND-TAKING COUNTRY, PARDNER.

98. YOU GOT IT? GOOD. PURPLE TEAM, YOU'RE UP.

99. - THAT THING...

100. THAT THING!

101. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

102. WHAT YOU ARE HERE TO ANSWER—

103. THE QUESTION THAT FRANKLY IS NEVER FAR FROM MY OWN MIND—

104. IS DID... YOU... GET...

105. THAT... THING—

106. DID YOU GET THAT THING...

107. THAT...

108. I SENT YOU?

109. CAN I SIT DOWN NOW?

110. MY BUNIONS ARE KILLING ME.

111. - LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF THE JURY,

112. BECAUSE OF A RECKLESS USE OF FORCE BY MR. BIRDMAN,

113. MY CLIENT HAS BEEN UNABLE TO WALK WITHOUT THE AID OF CRUTCHES,

114. HAS BEEN INCAPABLE OF HAVING AN INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP...

115. - THAT WAS HEAD-STEALING. - IT WAS NOT.

116. IT WAS MERE MANIPULATION OF THE LACRIMAL GLANDS.

117. - NOTED, BUT I'M WARNING YOU.

118. STRIKE THE WEEPING FROM THE RECORD.

119. WHEW!

120. - SADLY, MR. BIRDMAN MADE COUNTLESS OTHERS,

121. MANY OF WHOM SIT AMONG YOU TODAY, BROKEN!

122. WHATEVER YOU DECIDE WILL DIRECTLY AFFECT

123. THEIR IMPENDING CLASS ACTION SUIT

124. AGAINST THIS SO-CALLED HERO.

125. - CLASS ACTION SUIT?

126. AND YOUR OPENING STATEMENT WAS WHETHER OR NOT

127. THEY GOT THAT THING YOU SENT THEM?

128. - CHECK OUT THE HA-HAS ON MISS STENOPAD.

129. - SO BIRDMAN AND I GET INTO AN ARGUMENT ABOUT ME STEALING—

130. ALLEGEDLY—SOME MISSILES.

131. WHATEVER. AND SO HIS ANSWER,

132. HIS WAY TO DEAL WITH THE SITUATION LIKE AN ADULT,

133. IS TO REDUCE MY HOME TO RUBBLE IN, LIKE, WHAT?

134. TWO SECONDS?

135. - LOOK, I'M PROFESSOR NIGHTSHADE—

136. PROFESSOR NIGHTSHADE.

137. I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE,

138. YOU SHOW A PROFESSOR A LITTLE RESPECT.

139. YOU DON'T JUST BLAST HIM IN THE NADS 5—

140. 6—

141. NO, 6 TIMES IN THE NADS.

142. - I GOT PAINS THAT RUN DOWN MY ARMS;

143. AND IF IT'S HUMID, MY ANKLES GET SO STIFF I CAN'T MOVE THEM;

144. AND I GOT TINGLES IN MY BOSOMS.

145. - THANK YOU.

146. - TELL US, MR. MARAUDER,

147. WHAT WERE YOU DOING WHEN MR. BIRDMAN ARRIVED?

148. - PLOTTING TO BECOME THE RULER OF THE WORLD—

149. OR COMMISSIONER OF MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL.

150. - TELL US WHAT HAPPENED WHEN MY CLIENT ARRIVED.

151. - I SAID, "BIRDMAN, HOW DID YOU FIND MY LAIR?"

152. NO, WAIT, HOLD ON.

153. "BIRDMAN, HOW DID YOU FIND MY NEFARIOUS HIDEOUT?"

154. "NEFARIOUS" WORKS BETTER.

155. - UH-HUH.

156. DID YOU DO ANYTHING ELSE?

157. - "MURRO THEN AIMED HIS FIRE CANNON AT BIRDMAN AT FIRED—IN SELF-DEFENSE."

158. - WHILE YOU WERE TRYING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD?

159. - YES, THAT'S RIGHT.

160. - SO, YOU WERE JUST INNOCENTLY SITTING THERE,

161. MINDING YOUR OWN BUSINESS,

162. WHILE PLOTTING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD WHEN—

163. HUMINA...

164. - MR. POTAMUS.

165. - NOTHING FURTHER.

166. - THAT BLAST MR. BIRDMAN USED ON YOU,

167. WHAT DID IT DO TO YOU?

168. - LET'S SEE.

169. BROKEN PELVIS, BROKEN TIBIA, BROKEN KNEECAP—

170. - FRACTURED ASS!

171. - FRACTURED ASS, YES.

172. - YOU WERE LEFT A BROKEN HEAP,

173. FORCED INTO YEARS OF WRENCHING PHYSICAL THERAPY.

174. - IT'S NOT YOU.

175. IT'S ME.

176. - SHH.

177. - WHAT DID I SAY?

178. HOW DARE YOU DEFY ME, MENTOK—

179. THE MIND-TOKER.

180. UM, UH—MENTOK—

181. THE MILF SPUNKER—

182. OH, I SEE.

183. GOOD TRICK. BUT CAN YOU DO THIS?

184. STOP!

185. I'M EXHAUSTED.

186. WHAT DO YOU SAY WE GET SOME DRINKS?

187. - LOOK OUT!

188. - KNOW WHAT ELSE I HATE?

189. - YES, AS A MATTER OF FACT, I DO!

190. - A JOKE.

191. A GOOD JOKE.

192. DO PEOPLE ALWAYS ASK YOU—

193. - WHERE THEY LOST THEIR KEYS?

194. ALL THE TIME.

195. YOU KNOW WHAT I SAY? ASK YOUR WIFE WHERE YOUR KEYS ARE!

196. AND THEN THERE'S THE GUYS THAT COME UP TO YOU AND ASK—

197. - WHO'S GOING TO SHOW IN THE TRIFECTA?

198. - NOT GOOD.

199. - OH, MEIN GOTT, SHE'S BENDING OVER.

200. - ANYTHING ELSE?

201. - I THINK THAT ABOUT DOES IT.

202. - MR. POTAMUS?

203. MR. POTAMUS!

204. - MORE WITNESSES, EVIDENCE, ANYTHING LIKE THAT?

205. - NAH. WE'RE DONE.

206. - CALL SHADO TO THE STAND.

207. - I CALL SHADO TO THE STAND.

208. NOW WHAT?

209. - ASK HIM THE QUESTION.

210. - EH, DID YOU...

211. - GO ON.

212. - DID YOU GET THAT THING I SENT YOU?

213. - THE THING YOU SENT?

214. I'M SURE I DID!

215. ONE MOMENT.

216. I THINK IT WAS ON BUFF, OR MAYBE GOLDENROD.

217. - AND HOW LONG DID THEY HAVE TO RESPOND, MR. POTAMUS?

218. - TWO WEEKS.

219. - OH, AND LET'S SEE,

220. THAT WAS TWO WEEKS AGO RIGHT NOW.

221. MISTRIAL!

222. - BUT NOBODY KNEW ABOUT THAT REQUEST FOR DISCOVERY.

223. I HID IT SO WELL. HOW—

224. - DID I KNOW?

225. BACK AT THE BAR,

226. WHEN YOU THOUGHT WE WERE GETTING ALL PALSY-WALSY,

227. I WAS ACTUALLY FLIPPING THROUGH

228. THAT SORRY ORGANIZER YOU CALL A MIND, LOOKING FOR DIRT!

229. YOU KNOW WHAT WE CALL THAT?

230. MIND-TAKING, BABY!

231. ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES!

232. YOU'VE TRIED THE REST. NOW TRY THE BEST...

233. - SO I DIDN'T HURT THIS GUY OR THAT GUY OR THAT GUY OR THIS GAL...

234. - ... ONCE YOU TRY BLACK, YOU NEVER GO BLACK.

235. OH, NO. NO, YOU HURT THEM, BIRDIE.

236. YOU HURT THEM REAL BAD.

237. BUT YOU WON, AND THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS!

238. - I WON.

239. I WON A CASE!

240. - I CAN'T FEEL MY LEG.

241. MY THIRD LEG!

242. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

243. CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE —www.ncicap.org—