Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law 2x7

Directed by Richard Ferguson-Hull

When Grape Ape is accused of using steroids in the Laff-a-Lympics, his medal is taken away from him. Now Harvey must defend him in court to prove that he's not a drug addict. Plus, Gigi becomes pregnant, and all are wondering if Harvey is the real daddy.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. - AND NOW, GRAPE IS COMING OUT,

2. A REAL PURPLE MOUNTAIN MAJESTY.

3. - U.S.A.!

4. - KEEP YOUR ASS IN THE AIR!

5. KEEP SMILING! USE THE TEETH!

6. THE DELIVERY'S FLOWING!

7. ASS IN AIR!

8. GIVE ME ASHTRAY.

9. - CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

10. - YEAH! TAKE THAT!

11. HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW, SOMALIA? FRIGGIN' LOSERS!

12. - ARGH!

13. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

14. AVENGER, WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT MARKING TERRITORY AND...

15. OH, HI. EXCUSE ME.

16. UH, PEANUT, CAN WE GET A... A HYDRANT FOR MISTER—

17. - BEEGLI!

18. THAT'S NOT MINE. IT'S HIS.

19. - HUH?

20. - GRAPE APE! GRAPE APE!

21. - AGH!

22. PEANUT, A LITTLE HELP HERE. GOT A BIG JAR OF—

23. - YOU'RE IN! GOOD, BIRDMAN.

24. MAN IN FEZ, MAN IN CLOGS, MM MBUTU.

25. HERE'S THE MAN WHO WILL PROVE THE APE IS CLEAN

26. AND REMOVE THIS HORRIBLE BLOT FROM THE LAFF-A-LYMPICS.

27. HARVEY, THE LAFF-A-LYMPICS COMMITTEE.

28. - PLEASED TO MEET YOU, MISTER—

29. UM, MY STAPLER SEEMS TO HAVE FALLEN IN YOUR—

30. - IX-NAY ON THE APLER-STAY. OK, EH?

31. THIS IS THE BIG TIME! LAFF-A-LYMPICS, BIRDMAN.

32. CAN YOU IMAGINE IF THE GAMES CAME HERE?

33. THE MONEY. IT'S BETWEEN US AND PAPUA NEW GUINEA.

34. I THINK WE HAVE THE EDGE. THEY ATE ONE OF THE DELEGATES—

35. MAN KILT, GOD REST HIS SOUL.

36. DID YOU KNOW I WON THE SILVER IN '62?

37. NOT FOR THIS, FOR JUDO. BUT HEY, A SPORT'S A SPORT.

38. HOLD STILL. TOO BAD YOU'LL BE WORKING TOO HARD

39. TO JOIN US TONIGHT, BIRDMAN.

40. I'M SETTING THE BOYS HERE

41. UP WITH A LITTLE ENTERTAINMENT FOR THE EVENING

42. WITH GIGI.

43. - SHE'S QUITE THE "TALENTED TOUR GUIDE." HEH HEH.

44. - YES, AND GIVE US "ORAL SEX."

45. HEY!

46. - UM, I THINK YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT MY... OUR WIFE.

47. REMEMBER, PHIL?

48. - I DO!

49. - GIGI!

50. - ORAL SEX!

51. - HELLO, BOYS. PHIL. MMM, HOW'S IT HANGING?

52. - LONG, LOOSE,

53. AND FULL OF JUICES-H-ROOSEVELT!

54. - HA HA. SAY HELLO TO YOUR NEW BABY...

55. - HARVEY.

56. - HA HA! FREEDOM.

57. - BABY? BUT WE ONLY GOT MARRIED TWO WEEKS AGO,

58. AND BESIDES, DID WE EVEN—

59. - GIGI! YOU LOOK ABSOLUTELY—GOTTA GO.

60. - SO, I'M GOING TO BE A FATHER, I THINK.

61. - YOU KNOW HOW BREEDING DISGUSTS ME.

62. CELLS DIVIDING, DOUBLING IN NUMBER EVERY SECOND.

63. FIRST ONE CELL, THEN TWO.

64. THE BLASTULA BECOMING THE GASTRULA.

65. MULTIPLYING AND MULTIPLYING

66. UNTIL IT'S GROWN INTO AN OBESE TEENAGER NAMED CODY!

67. UGH!

68. CONGRATULATIONS.

69. - THANKS.

70. MAYBE AS A LITTLE GIFT FOR THE NEW DAD,

71. WE COULD CUT A LITTLE DEAL ON THIS GRAPE APE BUSINESS.

72. - NEVER, BUT I'M ALL FOR THROWING THE SHOWER.

73. WE'LL HAVE TINY LITTLE SANDWICHES AND PARTY GAMES

74. AND—UGH! BACK OFF, YOU GROTESQUE—

75. - GRAPE APE. GRAPE APE.

76. - PUMP IT! PUMP IT UP!

77. FEEL THE BURN.

78. KEEP IT RIGHT THERE.

79. GIVE ME LIGHTER.

80. MET THE UNSHRINKABLE!

81. - WELL, ROGER, IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY

82. FOR THE PEOPLE VERSUS GRAPE APE.

83. - OH, MY!

84. - AND WHAT AN ENTRANCE.

85. - DRAMATIC. POWERFUL.

86. GREAT WAY TO START HIS PERFORMANCE TODAY.

87. - EXCUSE ME. I CAN'T HELP BUT NOTICE YOUR CHEST.

88. - WHAT? OH, THIS.

89. DAD BOOBS.

90. YOU STICK A BOTTLE IN THEM SO YOU CAN NURSE YOUR CHILD.

91. GIGI SAYS HER BREASTS WEREN'T MEANT FOR FEEDING.

92. - AND NOW ENTERING THE COURTROOM, THE JUDGE, MENTOK.

93. HE APPROACHES THE BENCH.

94. WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT. AMAZING!

95. - OK, LET'S GET STARTED. MR. BIRDMAN.

96. STARING IN WONDER AT TODAY'S

97. BREATHTAKING GLOBAL MARKETING EVENT,

98. IT'S EASY TO FORGET ITS HUMBLE BEGINNINGS—

99. TWO WELL-OILED GREEK MEN WRESTLING EACH OTHER NAKED

100. JUST FOR THEIR OWN PLEASURE.

101. NO CROWD, NO TELEVISION AUDIENCE,

102. NO MEDAL, NO JUDGES TO SAY IF A MANEUVER WAS BELOW THE BELT,

103. BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T HAVE BELTS.

104. SO, WHEN SOME GOVERNING BODY RULES

105. THAT MY CLIENT SHOULD RETURN HIS MEDAL

106. SIMPLY BECAUSE HE'S TAKEN A PERFECTLY LEGAL

107. OVER-THE-COUNTER HERBAL SUPPLEMENT,

108. HAVE WE FORGOTTEN THE SPIRIT OF THE GAMES?

109. HAVE WE LOST SIGHT

110. THAT THE U.S.A. KICKS THE CRAP OUT OF ANGOLA!

111. - U.S.A.! U.S.A.!

112. - YOUR HONOR, I'D LIKE TO CALL—

113. EXCUSE ME.

114. - HI, HONEY. DO YOU WANT TO TALK TO THE BABY?

115. I'M HOLDING THE PHONE UP TO MY—

116. - I CAN'T RIGHT NOW. I'M IN COURT.

117. - OH! HARRY, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT!

118. IS THIS THE KIND OF SUPPORT YOU PLAN ON GIVING US?

119. - OK, OK. HELLO, BABY.

120. HELLO THERE, LITTLE BABY, SMOOKIE-POO.

121. - OH, HARRY, CAN YOU HEAR IT?

122. IT'S SAYING, "MOMMY NEEDS MORE MONEY."

123. - REALLY? I DIDN'T HEAR—

124. - NOW!

125. - BE RIGHT THERE.

126. - OK. TIME-OUT. JEEZ. WHAT THE HELL?

127. - AND WE HAVE A 5-MINUTE TIME-OUT.

128. - AND WE'RE BACK.

129. - YOUR HONOR, I'D LIKE TO CALL SOME ATHLETES

130. FROM THE GAMES.

131. - I TRAIN WITH GRAPE APE A LOT,

132. AND I NEVER SAW HIM USE STEROIDS.

133. NOT ONCE.

134. I'VE NEVER EVEN SEEN A STEROID.

135. - GLEEP, GLEEP, GLEEP, GLEEP, GLEEP, 'ROIDS.

136. GLEEP, GLEEP, GLEEP, GLEEP.

137. - WELCOME TO THE BABY SHOWER.

138. DON'T TOUCH THE WALLS, PLEASE.

139. TAKE SOME TOILET PAPER TO GUESS HOW BIG THE MOTHER IS.

140. THIS IS FOR GUESSING—

141. - I KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT.

142. - POTPOURRI, DON'T FAIL ME NOW.

143. - PHIL, WOW! YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE.

144. - OOPS. I DIDN'T.

145. - PHIL. WOW. YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE.

146. - IT'S A BRIEFCASE. YOU PUT THINGS IN IT,

147. LIKE DIAPERS.

148. - IT'S GREAT, ISN'T IT, HON—

149. - MMM.

150. - HONEY?

151. - BIRDMAN, I WANT YOU TO MEET YOUR NEW ASSISTANT,

152. MM MBUTU, JUNIOR.

153. - WHAT HAPPENED WAS MM MBUTU HERE

154. NEEDED A JOB FOR HIS SON,

155. AND YOU NEEDED A PARALEGAL/SHAMAN.

156. - PHIL, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH A WITCH DOCTOR'S SON?

157. - YOU DON'T HAVE TO WHISPER, BIRDMAN.

158. HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND ENGLISH.

159. - OH, OK. GOOD. WAIT.

160. WHY DO PEOPLE TAKE STEROIDS?

161. - TO GET LARGER.

162. - AGH! IT BURNS US.

163. WHAT ARE THE COMMON SYMPTOMS OF STEROID ABUSE?

164. - EXCESS BODY MASS, ACNE, INCREASED BREAST SIZE,

165. AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR, AND WITHERED TESTICLES.

166. - WHAT? WHAT WAS THAT LAST THING, DOCTOR?

167. - A SHRINKAGE OF THE TESTES.

168. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF THE JURY,

169. PLEASE NOTE THAT EVEN THOUGH THE DEFENDANT

170. DOESN'T WEAR PANTS, WE'VE NEVER SEEN HIS TESTICLES.

171. STRANGE, CONSIDERING IF EVERYTHING

172. WERE IN PROPER PROPORTION,

173. THEY WOULD BE, OH, THE SIZE OF THAT SNACK STAND!

174. - AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR! AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR!

175. DOCTOR, CAN YOU TELL US THE RESULTS OF THE URINE TEST?

176. - YES, I CAN SAY WITHOUT A DOUBT...

177. OH, WOW.

178. - AH... UM...

179. - NOT FAIR! NOT FAIR!

180. PRIMITIVE MAN SOLVING EVERYTHING WITH A GUN.

181. I WILL HEAD-SHRINK YOU.

182. - YOUR HONOR, SINCE REDUCTO'S "EXPERT"

183. HAS FALLEN ASLEEP ON THE JOB—

184. HE IS JUST ASLEEP, RIGHT?

185. NO. NO, WAIT. DON'T TELL ME.

186. I'D LIKE TO CALL MY OWN MEDICAL EXPERT.

187. - I CAN SAY WITHOUT A DOUBT

188. THAT WE ARE NOT SURE IF GLOBAL WARMING EXISTS.

189. - UM, THIS IS THE GRAPE APE CASE.

190. YOU KNOW, STEROID TESTS ARE...

191. - OH. YEAH. YEAH.

192. THE LINK BETWEEN CIGARETTES AND CANCER IS INCONCLUSIVE.

193. THAT ONE? WAIT, HERE.

194. STAR WARS WORKS?

195. OH, WHAT'S THIS? OH, YOUR INVOICE.

196. HERE WE GO. STEROIDS TESTS ARE UNRELIABLE—

197. OH, GOD! MY LEG! OH, MY LEG!

198. - UM, HE'S OUR WITNESS, JUNIOR.

199. FRIENDLY. NO—NO STABBY, STABBY.

200. - HAS THE JURY REACHED A VERDICT?

201. - THIS IS WHAT WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR.

202. GUILTY.

203. GUILTY, GUILTY, GUILTY— CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?

204. - GUILTY. ANOTHER GUILTY.

205. - GUILTY.

206. - I NEVER DREAMED...

207. - GUILTY.

208. - NOT GUILTY.

209. - OH!

210. - CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

211. - OH, PLEASE. WHO LISTENS TO THE FRENCH?

212. GUILTY.

213. - OH, I HAVE THE RESULTS OF THE TEST.

214. THE FATHER OF GIGI'S BABY IS...

215. GRAPE APE!

216. - HUH?

217. - WAIT, DON'T YOU NEED A BLOOD TEST

218. TO TELL WHO THE DADDY IS—OH.

219. - THANK YOU.

220. - IT ALSO SAYS THAT THE GAMES GO TO... IT'S DALLAS!

221. - CANNIBALS!

222. - HELLO, EVERYONE.

223. I'M GRAPE APE, AND WE'RE "NATURAL HI."

224. - HI!

225. HOLD ON.

226. - AND WE'RE HERE TO PERFORM A SONG CALLED "DECISIONS."

227. YOU KNOW, I MADE A DECISION AWHILE BACK...

228. TO TAKE STEROIDS.

229. - ALLEGED DECISION. THAT IS UNDER APPEAL.

230. - THAT'S RIGHT, BIRDMAN.

231. AND SURE, I GOT A PRO CAREER AND RICHES AND FAME,

232. BUT THERE WAS A DARK SIDE, TOO, AND I CAN TELL YOU—

233. MAYBE I SHOULD JUST SING IT INSTEAD.

234. HARVEY.

235. - HIT IT, GRAPE.

236. HEH. WE'RE NATURAL HI. BYE.

237. THAT WAS 15 MINUTES, RIGHT? LET'S GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE.

238. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

239. CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE —www.ncicap.org—