1. ON THE LAST EPISODE OF
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2. HARVEY BIRDMAN,
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3. I'D LIKE YOU TO ALL
GIVE A WARM WELCOME
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4. TO OUR NEWEST PARTNER.
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5. SO, WAIT A SEC,
HE GETS PARTNER
AND I'M—
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6. CAW!
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7. HE'D BE LOST WITHOUT THAT DOG.
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8. SO KILL IT.
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9. KILL THE DOG.
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10. OH MY GOD, BIRDMAN.
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11. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
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12. HEY THERE, FELLAS.
HARVEY BIRDMAN.
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13. WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
JUST MAKE FRIENDS
WITH THEM?
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14. WOW, I'M NOT SURE
I'VE EVER SEEN
A TATTOO OF A MAN
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15. RIDING A WOMAN
RIDING A MOTORCYCLE.
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16. AND WHEN YOU DO THAT,
YOU CAN'T SEE
THE MOTORCYCLE
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17. AND SHE'S RIDING—
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18. OH!
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19. YOUR CALL IS VERY
IMPORTANT TO US.
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20. PLEASE CONTINUE TO HOLD.
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21. MESSAGE 307.
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22. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
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23. YOU KILLED MY FRIEND.
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24. MY BEST FRIEND.
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25. BUT I AM YOUR ATTORNEY,
AND I'M GOING TO DO
THE BEST JOB I CAN.
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26. FOR SOMEONE
WHOSE BEST FRIEND
WAS KILLED BY YOU.
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27. WELL, LAST TIME I CHECKED,
I'M A LAWYER, TOO.
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28. AND, WELL...
I'LL TAKE THE CASE!
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29. JORGE, YOU'RE
NOT WORKING IT.
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30. ANYONE HAVE A QUARTER FOR, UH...
23 PENNIES?
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31. HELLO, WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
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32. SMIDGEN.
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33. THERE, THAT'S BETTER.
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34. YES?
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35. THIS IS A COLLECT
PHONE CALL FROM—
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36. HELP!
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37. A PRISONER
IN A CALIFORNIA
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38. PENAL INSTITUTION.
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39. YES, I'LL ACCEPT.
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40. BEAUTIFUL ANIMAL.
MAGNIFICENT RUMP.
EXCUSE ME.
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41. WHAT?
I'M IN PRISON!
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42. CALL STAN FREEZOID.
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43. BEST CRIMINAL DEFENSE GUY
IN THE BUSINESS.
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44. I CAN'T CALL HIM.
I DON'T HAVE ANY CHANGE.
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45. ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
I'LL BRING IT UP
AT THE 1:00.
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46. I'D LIKE TO TALK TO YOU
ABOUT STUD SERVICES!
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47. FREEZOID ZAROG AND SKON,
PLEASE HOLD.
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48. FREEZOID ZAROG AND SKON,
PLEASE HOLD.
FREEZOID, ZAROG AND—
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49. ALL RIGHT, ONE LAST
PIECE OF BUSINESS,
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50. AND I KNOW NOBODY
WANTS TO DEAL WITH IT.
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51. SECRET SANTA AT THE CHRISTMAS
YES OR NO?
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52. OK, BUT YOU KNOW
WHAT THAT MEANS.
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53. WE'LL HAVE TO GIVE BONUSES.
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54. HARVEY BIRDMAN!
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55. HE NEEDS A GOOD CRIMINAL
DEFENSE ATTORNEY.
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56. YA-HA-HA-HA!
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57. MY PREDICTION
FOR THE OUTCOME
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58. I'LL LEAVE IT RIGHT HERE.
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59. OH I HATE SURPRISES... HE'S—
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60. OH, PARTY POOPS.
HAVE IT YOUR WAY.
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61. YOU ARE THE—
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62. I'M A COPY MACHINE
SERVICE TECHNICIAN.
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63. DO YOU WANT ME
TO STATE MY NAME?
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64. BAH! I ALREADY KNOW—
NO, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
YOU CAN JUST SIT DOWN.
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65. CAN YOU IDENTIFY THIS?
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66. UH, IT'S
AN ELECTROSTATIC
COPY OF—
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67. WHAT? IS THAT...
A BUTT?
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68. DID YOU KNOW EACH
IMPRINT IS UNIQUE?
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69. NO TWO ARE THE SAME!
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70. LIKE A FINGERPRINT.
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71. HOW WOULD YOU
CHARACTERIZE THIS
PARTICULAR IMAGE?
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72. OBJECTION!
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73. MY DARLING, THIS MAN
HAS NOT BEEN SWORN
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74. AS AN EXPERT IN THIS FIELD.
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75. WA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
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76. YEAH, THAT'S SUSTAINED.
WE'RE GONNA SUSTAIN THAT.
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77. AND YOU ARE?
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78. A FORENSIC
PATHOLOGIST—
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79. BUT YOUR Ph.D. WAS IN—
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80. UH, BUTT PRINTS.
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81. YOU TELL HIM, JOE!
NICE JOB.
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82. IN YOUR EXPERT OPINION,
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83. IS THERE ANY CONCLUSIVE WAY
TO TELL WHO LEFT THE IMAGE
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84. WHICH WE'LL CALL
PEOPLE'S BUTT PRINT 18.
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85. HA! ONLY ONE I KNOW.
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86. WING.
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87. SO DO YOU DO READINGS
ON THE, UH, YOU KNOW,
HOW'S YOUR MOTHER?
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88. YOUR HONOR, PEOPLE'S
14 A, B, C, AND D
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89. MARKED, YOU'LL NOTICE,
IN BLUE, RED, SALMON,
AND PUTTY.
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90. CAN YOU TELL US
WHAT THEY ARE?
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91. THEY'RE COPIES
OF THE DOG.
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92. IN THE COPIER.
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93. AND THIS ONE WOULD BE?
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94. OH GOD, THAT'S
HIS DUE CLAW.
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95. ARE WE GOING TO EVER
CROSS-EXAMINE ANY OF
THESE WITNESSES?
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96. CALL ANY OF OUR OWN!
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97. YOU AMERICANS
AND YOUR... LOGIC.
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98. IF IT PLEASE THE COURT,
AND I THINK IT WILL,
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99. I WOULD LIKE TO CALL
LARRY STENCHIK
TO THE STAND.
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100. THE POPE?
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101. AS AN EXPERT, I FEEL QUALIFIED
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102. TO SAY THAT WHOEVER DID THIS
SHOULD PAY DEARLY FOR HIS CRIME!
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103. HE SHOULD PAY DEARLY
FOR HIS CRIME!
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104. HE SHOULD PAY, PAY, PAY!
HE MUST PAY!
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105. YOUR HONOR, I'D RESPECTFULLY
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106. LIKE TO HAVE A WORD
WITH YOU IN CHAMBERS.
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107. PAY, PAY!
HE MUST PAY!
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108. YOUR HONOR—
YOU WANNA SEE SOME STUFF
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109. I'M NOT SUPPOSED
TO SHOW ANYONE?
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110. ABOUT MY REPRESENTATION—
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111. HANG ON.
ROMER!
5-4-3-3.
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112. I SAID HEADING
3-2-5 SOUTHWEST,
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113. YOU DISORGANIZED
ITALIAN!
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114. OH, HELL.
I'LL JUST DO IT.
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115. PREGO! GO ON.
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116. I DON'T THINK MR. FALCONE
HAS MY BEST INTERESTS—
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117. BORING!
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118. DOOFUS!
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119. Birdman and Judge:
THERE... WAS A...
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120. PAPER... JAM.
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121. SEE... AND...
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122. THE DOG WAS TRYING
TO CLEAR IT, BUT HE'S
KLUTZY, RIGHT?
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123. OH, THAT'S THE SECRET.
GO FAST!
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124. THEN HE WON'T
BE ABLE TO KEEP UP!
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125. OH-WHEE-OH!
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126. ZOMBIE GUARDS!
SEIZE HIM!
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127. TELL ME THAT'S
NOT FUN TO SAY.
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128. CLEAR JAM FROM TRAY 3?
GUESS WHAT?
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129. THERE WAS NO TRAY 3!
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130. YOU HAVE 37 MESSAGES.
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131. PHIL, HARV.
YEP, I'M STILL HERE.
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132. YEP, HERE.
IN JAIL.
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133. HEY, WHATCHA DOIN'?
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134. IS THE VERDICT GUILTY
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135. OR NOT GUILTY?
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136. HE ASKS, KNOWING
FULL WELL THE ANSWER.
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137. WE FIND THE DEFENDANT...
NOT GUILTY.
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138. NOT GUILT—
NOPE! I'M NEVER WRONG.
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139. GUILTY! HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
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140. TURN TO YOUR LEFT.
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141. MOVE YOUR WING.
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142. TURN TO YOUR RIGHT.
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143. WING.
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144. TOES ON THE LINE.
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145. STRIP.
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146. THAT'S WHAT I SAID.
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147. LIGHTS OUT!
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148. IF ONLY WE HAD A THING
THAT COULD MAKE US
FLY OUT OF HERE.
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149. YEAH.
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150. ANYTHING ON
THE APPEAL?
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151. PAY!
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152. SO THAT GUY'S
THE GUARD, RIGHT?
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153. AND THAT GUY'S
YOUR SPECIAL FRIEND?
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154. UH HUH. WHAT'S
THE 131/2 STAND FOR?
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155. 12 JURORS, 1 JUDGE.
HALF A CHANCE.
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156. HOO-HAH. WHAT ABOUT—
WHAT ABOUT THIS ONE?
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157. STEP OFF, HOMES.
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158. I WAS JUST TRYING—
I WAS TRYING TO TALK
ABOUT YOUR TATTOO!
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159. YOU WOULDN'T LAST
TWO MINUTES IN MY WORLD.
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160. DICK AND J—JANE.
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161. DEAR BIRDHOUSE...
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162. I NEVER THOUGHT
THIS COULD HAPPEN TO ME.
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163. SET THIS BIRD FREE!
SET THIS BIRD FREE!
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164. SET THIS BIRD FREE!
SET THIS—
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165. WINGS UP, HARVEY.
WINGS UP.
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166. OH TEENY TINY ANGEL,
COME DOWN ON YOUR
MICROSCOPIC CHARIOT
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167. AND FREE HIM.
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168. SURPRISE!
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169. DID YOU KNOW?
'CAUSE I THOUGHT YOU
WERE JUST PLAYING.
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170. YOU KNEW?
YOU DIDN'T KNOW?
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171. YOU REALLY DIDN'T KNOW?
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172. HA-HA-HA!
STOP THAT!
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173. IT'S ALL
THIS GUY!
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174. 5 YEARS AGO,
HE SAYS, "I'VE
GOT AN IDEA."
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175. YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN
THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE
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176. WHEN I SAID, "GUILTY."
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177. YOU WOULDN'T LAST
TWO MINUTES IN MY WORLD.
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178. SO, I'VE BEEN IN PRISON
FOR 5 YEARS, AND IT WAS
ALL A PRACTICAL JOKE?
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179. AND I'M NOT GOING
TO BE EXECUTED?
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180. NOT ON YOUR
BIRTHDAY, SILLY.
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181. AND WE'RE NOT MARRIED!
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182. OH.
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183. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP
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184. CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
—www.ncicap.org—
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