Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law 1x3

Directed by Vincent Waller

Michael McKean as Evelyn Spyro Throckmorton • Michael McKean as Evelyn Spyro Throckmorton (voice) • Gary Cole as Judge Hiram Mightor (voice) • Stephen Colbert as Pirate (voice) • Jeff Bergman as George Jetson / Bakov / Clown (voice) • Grey DeLisle as Daphne Blake / Mrs. Debbie (voice)

Shaggy and Scooby are being held on possession. Harvey defends the two in an entirely circumstantial case brought against them by Spyro.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

2. WILL YOU BE COOL?

3. AVENGER, HAVE YOU SEEN THAT FILE?

4. THE ONE I WAS JUST LOOKING AT?

5. IT WAS BIG AND YELLOW AND— AND LEGAL LOOKING.

6. THIS PLACE IS A MESS!

7. YOU KNOW WHAT WE NEED?

8. A CLERK. HUH?

9. UH-HUH. A CLERK.

10. WHAT? OH...

11. COME ON, IT'S JUST AN ASSISTANT.

12. NOT A PARTNER, LIKE YOU.

13. WHO'S MY EAGLE?

14. NIGHT!

15. DEBBIE, SEND IN THE NEXT CANDIDATE.

16. DEBBIE! HATE.

17. TAKE A SEAT.

18. IS THAT YOUR BIRD?

19. CAN I TOUCH IT?

20. Does it bite?

21. HOW ABOUT WE START WITH YOUR NAME?

22. PEANUT.

23. UH-HUH. SO YOUR LAST JOB WAS AT, UM...

24. I DON'T SEE ANYTHING LISTED.

25. UM, I USED TO WORK AT A BALTIMIZATION PLANT.

26. BALTIMIZATION? OH, YEAH.

27. YOU SEE, THE JAPANESE CLAIM IT INCREASES SEXUAL POTENCY TENFOLD.

28. THEY CALL IT PAW-PAW-PAW-ZAAA.

29. REALLY?

30. YOU KNOW?

31. HM-HMM. HMM. PAZAZZA. MM-HMM.

32. SO, YOU QUIT THAT JOB?

33. UM, ACTUALLY, I BELIEVE I WAS FIRED FROM THAT JOB.

34. OH?

35. WELL, THERE WAS THE MURDER OF A SUPERVISOR.

36. NOTHING PROVEN. I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS BETTER TO MOVE ON.

37. HA HA HA!

38. THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT YOU. IT'S A GOOD SOMETHING, THOUGH.

39. DEFINITELY A GOOD SOMETHING.

40. THANK YOU, HARVEY.

41. HELLO?

42. YES. I SEE. OH, THAT'S NO GOOD.

43. WHAT SAY YOU COME DOWN HERE FIRST THING IN THE MORNING AND—WHAT?

44. DON'T WORRY. A NIGHT IN THE POKEY NEVER KILLED ANYONE.

45. BUILDS CHARACTER.

46. REMEMBER ME? AND ME?

47. AND—AND...

48. HERE, LET ME JUST DO IT. IT'S—OK, STOP PULLING.

49. IT'S GONNA BIND.

50. SO, CONSIDER THAT YOUR FIRST LESSON IN LAWYERING...

51. CLERK.

52. THE JOB. IT'S YOURS! CONGRATULATIONS!

53. WELL, GOSH, THAT'S GREAT. DO I GET A GUN?

54. SURE!

55. ASSAULT AND BATTERY.

56. YEAH, YOU NEVER USE THAT.

57. HMM. LARCENY. NAH. SO, THAT ABOUT COVERS IT. ANY QUESTIONS?

58. YOUR 10:00 IS HERE. A FRED JONES.

59. UH, SEND HIM IN.

60. FRED JONES? FRED JO—

61. FRED JONES! HOW ARE YOU, BUDDY?

62. I'M FINE.

63. LISTEN, WE'VE GOT A BIT OF A PROBLEM, THE GANG AND I.

64. GANG STUFF. LISTEN UP.

65. WHAT HAPPENED?

66. LAST NIGHT,

67. WE WERE OUT AT THIS OLD ABANDONED COTTON MILL AND—

68. I KNOW. ONE OF YOUR HOMIES TOOK ONE IN THE BOBO.

69. NO. ACTUALLY, SHAGGY AND SCOOBY WERE ARRESTED.

70. IT WAS AWFUL!

71. NOW YOU SEE WHY BANGING DOESN'T PAY?

72. I'LL TAKE THE CASE!

73. BUT FIRST, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO LOSE THE COLORS.

74. WE'LL HAVE YOUR PALS OUT OF HERE IN NO TIME.

75. FELLAS...

76. DADDY IS GONNA BE HOME REAL SOON.

77. GUYS, MEET YOUR NEW ATTORNEY, MR. BIRDMAN.

78. NOW, WHICH ONE OF YOU IS SHAGGY?

79. LIKE, I AM.

80. OK, THAT'S YOUR STREET NAME.

81. WHAT'S THE NAME YOUR MOMS GAVE YOU?

82. I'VE SEEN THIS BEFORE. PROFILING. TWO YOUNG MEN—

83. HA HA! HA HA!

84. IN A VAN...

85. INAPPROPRIATE LAUGHTER...

86. SO, LET'S HAVE IT.

87. LIKE, HAVE WHAT?

88. THE TRUTH!

89. WHEN YOU'RE READY TO RAP,

90. WHEN YOU'RE REALLY READY TO GET REAL,

91. YOU'VE GOT MY NUMBER.

92. I KNOW THE WAY IT LOOKS, MR. BIRDMAN, BUT THAT'S JUST THE WAY THEY ARE.

93. YEAH. THEY ALWAYS ACT THAT WAY.

94. OOH, SPRECHEN SIE SEXY.

95. SO, YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THEY WEREN'T—

96. HI.

97. NOPE. THEY'RE JUST STUPID.

98. I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO.

99. BUB-BUB-BUB-BUB-BUB, HIP POCKET, HIP POCKET—

100. SPIRO? HMM?

101. THIS SEAT TAKEN? POURQUOI?

102. NO REASON. I JUST HAD A... DRAMA QUESTION.

103. THIS WOULDN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH

104. THOSE TWO POLTROONS YOU'RE REPRESENTING, WOULD IT?

105. NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT... NO DEAL!

106. GOOD-MORROW!

107. COME ON, SIT DOWN. LET'S TALK FOR A MINUTE.

108. SO, WHERE DID YOU GO TO SCHOOL?

109. CHOATE.

110. OW! OW! OW!

111. GOOD SCHOOL.

112. STILL KEEP IN TOUCH WITH YOUR PALS?

113. NOT REALLY.

114. AND LAW SCHOOL? YALE.

115. OW! OW! OW! OW!

116. DOES THIS INTERMINABLE QUESTIONING HAVE A PURPOSE?

117. NOTHING MORE THAN TWO COLLEAGUES GETTING TO KNOW ONE ANOTHER

118. SO IT'S NOT SO OUTRAGEOUS WHEN ONE OF THEM

119. ASKS THE OTHER TO CUT HIM A TINY DEAL.

120. NEVER!

121. I'D ADVISE YOU TO CLEAN UP YOUR CLIENTS, COUNSELOR.

122. PUT TIES ON THEM, BECAUSE SOON LADY JUSTICE WILL STAND BEFORE THEM...

123. NOW I SEE WHY THE BUDDIES NEVER CALL.

124. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF THE JURY,

125. WE ALL LIVED THROUGH THE SEVENTIES—

126. THE CLOTHES, THE MUSIC,

127. THE HEART-WARMING BUT RARELY AMUSING ZIGGY CARTOONS.

128. NOW, LATER, WHO ARE WE TO LOOK AT THESE TWO FINE YOUNG MEN

129. AND SAY, "YOU THERE! I SIT IN JUDGMENT OF YOU!"

130. "ON YOU?" NO. "OF YOU." I THINK NOT.

131. MR. SPIRO GYRO, YOUR TURN.

132. GOOD EVE, SIRS. KNOWEST THOU WHY I HAVE ASKED THEE TO TARRY?

133. BY LEAVE, SIR, NO. HATH WE SOME WRONG DONE?

134. SHAGGY, TAKE FLIGHT! IT'S THE DEVILISH APPARITION!

135. TELL US, OFFICER,

136. DID YOU FIND ANY INCRIMINATING MATERIAL IN THE VAN?

137. AFFIRMATIVE. UH, YES.

138. SUCH AS?

139. 5, 6 PIZZA BOXES, EYEDROPS, SOME CLIPS.

140. DO YOU MEAN THIS YOUNG LADY'S HAIRPINS?

141. YOU'LL HAVE TO DO BETTER THAN THAT, OFFICER.

142. UH, THERE WAS THIS INCENSE... JAMAICAN LOVE.

143. AND, I MIGHT ADD, IF WE WERE TO ARREST EVERYONE

144. WHO IS IN POSSESSION OF THIS PRODUCT,

145. THERE WOULD BE A HECK OF A LOT FEWER PEOPLE JAMAICAN LOVE TONIGHT.

146. SO, MISS DINKLY,

147. HOW WOULD YOU CHARACTERIZE YOUR FRIENDS' ODD BEHAVIOR?

148. UM, WHEN THEY GET NERVOUS, THEY LAUGH,

149. AND THEY'RE ALWAYS HUNGRY. THAT'S IT.

150. NOTHING FURTHER. MISS DINKLY,

151. DESCRIBE FOR US WHAT WE'RE SEEING.

152. HMM, THAT WOULD BE US INVESTIGATING SOMETHING.

153. MM-HMM. AND THIS?

154. WELL, I DON'T REALLY REMEMBER.

155. LET'S SEE IF WE CAN REFRESH YOUR MEMORY.

156. YOUR HONOR, PEOPLE'S 18.

157. THIS...

158. THIS...

159. THIS...

160. THIS...

161. THIS...

162. THESE...

163. AND OF COURSE, THIS...

164. YOU KNOW, SCOOB, IT JUST DAWNED ON ME! SCOOBY DOOBY DOO!

165. THOSE CLIPS ARE ALL TAKEN OUT OF CONTEXT!

166. YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO MAKE US LOOK GOOFY AND PARANOID!

167. GOOFY...

168. PARANOID...

169. NOTHING FURTHER.

170. MR. BIRDMAN, I DON'T MEAN TO BE RUDE,

171. BUT SHOULDN'T YOU HAVE KNOWN ABOUT THAT TAPE?

172. THAT'S WHY YOU'RE THERE, KID, AND I'M HERE— EXPERIENCE.

173. IT'S THE ONLY THING THAT SEPARATES US FROM THE ANIMALS.

174. WELL, THAT AND PRODUCT PLACEMENT.

175. YOU KNOW, IF WE COULD FIND THE MONSTER AND CAPTURE HIM,

176. THE POLICE WOULD BELIEVE OUR STORY,

177. AND THEN THEY'D DROP THE CHARGES.

178. HONEY, ALL THIS POWER OF DEDUCTION STUFF IS CUTE,

179. BUT I'VE GOT TWO LIVES IN MY HANDS HERE,

180. TWO SOULS DEPENDENT ON ME

181. GIVING THE PERFORMANCE OF MY LIFE TOMORROW IN THAT COURTROOM.

182. SCOTCH? HELL, YEAH! LET'S GET STINKO!

183. YOUR HONOR, I HAVE HERE IN MY HAND DEFENSE EXHIBIT—

184. WHAT WERE WE UP TO? 3? 4?

185. WE CAUGHT HIM! WE CAUGHT THE MONSTER!

186. MR. BIRDMAN, YOU BETTER HAVE A DAMN GOOD EXPLANATION FOR THIS!

187. HE DOES, YOUR HONOR.

188. WE CAUGHT THIS MAN RUNNING AROUND THE OLD COTTON MILL,

189. SCARING PEOPLE OFF.

190. OLD MAN BACKOV!

191. BACK OFF. BACK OFF!

192. I WOULD HAVE SUCCEEDED, TOO,

193. IF IT HADN'T BEEN FOR THOSE—

194. THESE MEDDLING KIDS.

195. NO! THAT DAMN COTTON MARKET!

196. DON'T YOU TELL ME! ALL THESE HIP-HOP RATS!

197. DAMN LIKELY WOOL WEAR, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

198. HIP-PUZ, YES.

199. UH, WAIT A MINUTE HERE. WHAT THE HELL AM I—

200. NOBODY WEARS DUNGAREES ANYMORE,

201. SO I DID WHAT ANY SENSIBLE FARMER WOULD DO.

202. I SWITCHED CROPS!

203. OH, SO WAIT A SEC. ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY—

204. WHAT? SOYBEANS!

205. DA-DA-DA-DUH-DA-DA!

206. PUPPY P—

207. HA HA HA! HA HA HA!

208. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

209. CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE —www.ncicap.org—