1. Fu...
Copy !req
2. And now...
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3. uck!
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4. Damn it, Harley!
What the hell?
Copy !req
5. I, I'm so sorry.
Copy !req
6. I mean, the whole thing
with the zombies
and the barfin'
Copy !req
7. and the mass murder—
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8. I was building Edin.
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9. It's something I thought
you wanted, too.
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10. It felt incredible
and you made me stop.
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11. Why?
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12. Well, you should
figure that the fuck out.
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13. Deuces.
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14. Wait. Ive!
Please don't be mad.
Where are you going?
Copy !req
15. Somewhere I can relax
and think.
Copy !req
16. Oh, if that means you're going
to Mor-4-Lex, we're out
of toilet paper.
Copy !req
17. - Fine.
- And make sure you get three—
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18. Three ply. I know.
You've got a bougie butt.
Copy !req
19. No, oh, no, no, no.
Please don't. Do not thank me.
Copy !req
20. Thank you,
Harley Quinn!
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21. - Harley, thank you!
- You saved us from Ivy!
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22. No, please.
Oh, God, no. Don't—
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23. - Thank you, Harley.
You saved us.
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24. No, no... please. No.
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25. Uh, can we get some applause?
Copy !req
26. Because there is a hero
in the house.
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27. - Please shut up.
- Why? It's true.
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28. You basically
sacrificed yourself
to stop Ivy and save humanity.
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29. Why did I do that?
I don't want to stop Ivy.
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30. I want to support her.
Copy !req
31. But I also don't want everyone
in Gotham to die.
Copy !req
32. Ooh. Sounds like
you need to talk.
Copy !req
33. Want to crush some canned cider
and unpack all this?
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34. There's nothing to unpack.
Copy !req
35. Hey, so, I'm gonna need
a Batman to sign for this.
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36. Oh, a man?
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37. So a Batgirl
couldn't be competent enough—
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38. His name is on
the registration.
Copy !req
39. - Yerp.
- Yeesh.
Copy !req
40. I gotta say,
Copy !req
41. I like this new swagger on you.
Copy !req
42. You've got a certain
je ne sais quoi.
Copy !req
43. Now, I'll put money on it.
Copy !req
44. In the next 24 hours,
Copy !req
45. no less than three people
are going to randomly
compliment you.
Copy !req
46. You're looking that good.
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47. Well, I'm not feeling
that good.
Copy !req
48. I mean,
things are weird with Harley,
and my plan failed.
Copy !req
49. - Again.
- You're looking at this
all wrong.
Copy !req
50. Ruining Jazzapajizza is some
hard core supervillain shit.
Copy !req
51. Fuck you, Ivy!
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52. Whoa!
You were tapped into The Green.
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53. No one could stop you.
You had to stop yourself.
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54. Now, that's real power.
Copy !req
55. When a villain got to stop
her own villainoire self!
Copy !req
56. I mean, it was pretty
pretty bad ass, I guess.
Copy !req
57. A Hard Wayne's
Gonna Fall.
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58. - Directed by James Gunn.
In theaters—
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59. - Apologies
for the abrupt pop in.
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60. - Ivy, did you change your hair?
- That's one.
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61. I saw what you did
at Jazzapajiz—
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62. - Yeah, I'm not saying that.
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63. Suffice it to say, the scale
of potential devastation
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64. was enough to make even me
soil my boxer briefs.
Copy !req
65. And you don't shit your pants
for anything.
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66. That is correct.
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67. Well, was.
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68. Yeah, thanks.
Copy !req
69. Now, if you'll excuse me,
they're putting out
scallion pancake samples.
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70. Huh?
Copy !req
71. I'll cut to the chase.
Copy !req
72. I'm looking to rebuild
the Legion of Doom in Gotham.
Copy !req
73. Hey, Lex.
How many times are we
going to do this, bud?
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74. 'Cause I don't want to be
in the Legion of Doom.
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75. I know. I want you to run it.
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76. - I'm sorry, what?
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77. You're a threat.
Copy !req
78. And, frankly, I trust
the threat I pay more
than the threat I don't.
Copy !req
79. Well, I'm not interested
in being some puppet figurehead
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80. for your corporate tax shelter.
Copy !req
81. Plus, you'd never agree
to my terms.
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82. Try me.
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83. Well, first off,
I'd need to be paid
an obscene amount of money.
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84. Of course.
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85. Get that paper.
Copy !req
86. - Hey, I really missed you.
- I know.
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87. And I'd uh, I'd need
to be in complete control.
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88. So I run things.
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89. I get to do whatever I want
without needing approval
from anyone, including you.
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90. The Legion of Doom
will be yours.
Copy !req
91. Think about it, Ivy.
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92. You got so close
to permanently changing Gotham,
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93. and all you had was a tiny lab
and some test tubes.
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94. Imagine what you could do
with my vast resources
at your disposal.
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95. You'd be unstoppable.
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96. I don't want
to have to babysit Bane.
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97. We'll move him
to our Tempe office.
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98. Well, shit.
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99. So, are you done reburying
my dead zombie parents, Alfred?
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100. Indeed, Sir. Ooh.
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101. Perhaps I went
a little overboard.
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102. I'd venture
to say you did, Sir.
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103. My loneliness and despair
got the best of me.
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104. The edges of reality started
to blur for a minute there.
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105. I think it's time I take off
my obsidian-colored glasses.
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106. Stop letting the specter
of my dead parents haunt me.
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107. Of course everywhere I turn,
I'm reminded of this movie.
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108. Well, I hesitate
to bring this up, sir,
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109. but the producer sent tickets
to the premiere tomorrow.
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110. - I'll return them at once.
- Hold up, hold up.
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111. If I want to stop being
tortured by this movie,
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112. I should confront my demons
head on at the premiere.
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113. No worries.
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114. I shall clean up at once
to accompany you
through this trying—
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115. Oh, sorry.
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116. I've already asked
someone else, so.
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117. Anyway.
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118. Yeah, I'm probably
gonna get dressed.
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119. I... I'll do it myself.
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120. Why am I ugly
in everything?
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121. I'm so— Forgive me.
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122. It appears my nerves are tender
on this premiere's eve.
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123. Well, calm down.
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124. You're just having
a diva moment.
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125. But the cool thing is,
this premiere is all about
BBT's big day.
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126. So the pressure's off of you.
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127. No one, not a single soul
will know it was you
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128. acting like Billy Bob
acting like Thomas Wayne.
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129. No one will know?
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130. Ooh, did you just get a facial?
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131. Uh, that's two.
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132. Hey, Harley.
We need to, uh, we gotta talk.
Copy !req
133. I know, Ive.
I am still so sorry.
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134. Me first, me first. So.
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135. Lex Luthor wants me
to run the new Legion of Doom.
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136. Ha! I wish
I could have been there
when you told him to fuck off.
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137. Uh, you couldn't,
because I didn't.
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138. Um, what?
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139. It's a great opportunity
for me, creatively.
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140. Totally! Yeah, no.
Who cares that he's
an amoral piece of shit.
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141. I mean, you are doing
the dang thing,
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142. looking all good
in the neighborhood.
Copy !req
143. - It's all right.
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144. I, I didn't expect you
to be okay with me doing it.
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145. What? Are you kidding me?
I am so okay with you doing it.
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146. So okay that we're doing it.
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147. I... I don't,
I don't know, Harls. I...
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148. Look, okay.
I know I took a dump
on your passion project,
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149. but it won't happen again.
Please, please let me prove it.
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150. - I... I just— I'm not sure
we're on the same page.
- Listen.
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151. I am down to do
whatever you need me to do
to make your dreams come true.
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152. No questions asked.
I am your ride or die.
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153. Are you sure?
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154. Because in order
to close with Lex,
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155. I'm killing the Mayor
at the premiere tomorrow.
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156. Totally. Wait.
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157. Like Joker, the Mayor?
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158. Yeah, I mean, Lex has beef
with his new evil lair tax.
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159. Is that gonna be
a problem or...?
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160. Ha, let's kill
the fucking joker.
Oh! I love that for us.
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161. Whoo!
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162. - Oh, okay.
- Shit.
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163. No, honey, you know what?
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164. That's okay. There's, like,
an entire palette
of champagne in the car.
Copy !req
165. - Sadly, no. I simply cannot
shake the feeling
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166. that after all the work
I've put in,
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167. in the end,
all the spoils will go
to one William Robert Thornton.
Copy !req
168. But isn't that
every actor's dream?
Copy !req
169. To disappear into a role
so no one knows it's you?
Copy !req
170. I will let you in on a secret
not many outside
of the acting world know.
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171. All thespians are vain.
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172. What?
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173. To a wild night.
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174. Goddamn it!
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175. It's show time.
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176. How's Angelina?
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177. Huh?
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178. Selina? You're looking, uh...
Copy !req
179. stunning.
I'm surprised you came.
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180. Ditto.
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181. How are you?
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182. Oh, fantastic.
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183. Zero zombie-related drama
on my end, that's,
that's for sure.
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184. Happy to hear it.
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185. I assumed this entire event
would be triggering,
to say the least.
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186. Wait, are you here
to support me?
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187. Even though we're not dating
and I find you sad,
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188. it doesn't mean
I don't want to see you happy.
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189. Ex... excuse me.
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190. Probably an appetizer
got in my eye.
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191. Great tie, Clock King.
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192. Nora and Swamp Thing are
an item. I love that.
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193. Cheryl, I see you
double fisting.
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194. Like Joker do.
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195. Oh, yes.
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196. Apparently,
I'm sitting at ZZZ69.
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197. which, if I'm keeping it 100,
doesn't sound like
a mayoral place to sit.
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198. Mmm.
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199. This can't be right.
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200. Cancel my drinks
with the mayor, Alfred.
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201. Tell him I'm taking my wife
and my adorable son
to the movies.
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202. Oh, right.
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203. Tell Martha to wear
those pearls I bought her.
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204. To symbolize how our love
can survive anything,
even bullets.
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205. Ugh! Two and a half hours
of this?
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206. - A little indulgent,
if you ask me.
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207. What the hell is going on?
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208. Oh, I'll tell you
what's going on.
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209. You're a super villain
and you're going
to explain your plan?
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210. Hey, hey! Don't interrupt bae
when she's oratin'.
Copy !req
211. What I would give to see you
wearing a headset mic.
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212. When the credits roll,
Harley and I are going
to kill you
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213. and announce that we're running
a new Legion of Doom
right here in Gotham.
Copy !req
214. Wait, is Lex putting you
up to this because of
the evil lair tax?
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215. It's half a percent
for Christ's sakes!
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216. And it all goes towards
making Gotham College free.
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217. Good idea.
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218. You know,
the barrier to higher education
Copy !req
219. is one of the biggest causes
of income inequality.
Copy !req
220. Hey, Harley,
can we just, like, focus?
Copy !req
221. Oh, shit. Ugh.
Must've left my bat
in the limo.
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222. Okay, I'm gonna pop out,
I'm gonna grab it,
Copy !req
223. I will be back in a jiff
to commence skull-crushing,
Copy !req
224. and, you know,
things of that nature.
Copy !req
225. You know,
I've never known Harley
to be a sloppy ropeswoman.
Copy !req
226. She's tied up
hundreds of people for me.
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227. Normally goes for a sheet bend
or a taut-line hitch,
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228. but she used
a bowline this time,
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229. which, of course,
is the easiest knot to untie.
Copy !req
230. I'm very active
with Benecio's scout troop.
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231. So you become mayor
and suddenly you're, like,
a totally different person?
Copy !req
232. I'm both
a maniacal force of nature,
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233. and I want
free universal health care.
Copy !req
234. People can be more
than just one thing.
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235. They grow and evolve.
Copy !req
236. Take Harley, for instance.
Copy !req
237. Is it just me, or does she seem
a little different?
Copy !req
238. Seriously, dude?
Copy !req
239. I'm not gonna do that thing
where we commiserate over
the person we both dated.
Copy !req
240. Of course, of course.
Copy !req
241. Tell me this.
Copy !req
242. Does she still put
one giant cardboard box
Copy !req
243. in the recycling bin
so that nothing else can fit?
Copy !req
244. Oh, my God, yes,
she does do that.
Copy !req
245. But it's, it's just, it's like,
what's so hard about
breaking down a box?
Copy !req
246. You know what I mean?
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247. Just hit it
with your fucking bat.
Copy !req
248. Hmm.
Copy !req
249. Okay. What is wrong with you?
Copy !req
250. I mean, I know
there is a lot going on
in that little brain,
Copy !req
251. but what is wrong right now?
Copy !req
252. I shouldn't have come tonight.
Copy !req
253. Okay, bro, calm down.
Copy !req
254. All right? Let's try
one of those exercises
like last time.
Copy !req
255. - All right, close your eyes.
Copy !req
256. Deep breath in.
Copy !req
257. Be in your body.
Copy !req
258. I know what you've been through
and I know that you are strong.
Copy !req
259. I was in your head, remember?
Copy !req
260. You know my secret.
Copy !req
261. Did you tell anyone?
Copy !req
262. Okay.
I'm only gonna say this once,
Copy !req
263. so pay attention.
Copy !req
264. Gotham needs Batman
and I get that now.
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265. So your little secret
is safe with me.
Copy !req
266. That, and like,
doctor-patient confidentiality,
that whole thing
Copy !req
267. Thank you.
Copy !req
268. How did Ivy take it
when she found out
you're not a villain anymore?
Copy !req
269. Who said I'm not?
Copy !req
270. Come on. Seriously?
Copy !req
271. We're still doing this
after you stopped her plan
and saved the city?
Copy !req
272. I used to think you were
just an agent of chaos.
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273. But now I see.
Copy !req
274. - You—
- Uh, no!
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275. That is exactly who I am!
Copy !req
276. - God bless you, Harley Quinn.
- Eat shit, loser!
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277. Oh.
Copy !req
278. Oh, my God,
has she always been
OCD about toilet paper?
Copy !req
279. It's like nothing scares her
more than the idea
of running out.
Copy !req
280. - Am I right?
- Oh, good times.
Copy !req
281. You know what I really loved
about her though?
Copy !req
282. The way she went along with
whatever plan I asked her
to do,
Copy !req
283. even when I knew
she hated the idea.
Copy !req
284. Well, you know, add that
to the shit pile of reasons
Copy !req
285. you were a toxic partner
and a total narcissist.
Copy !req
286. Oh, just me?
Copy !req
287. What are you even
talking about?
Copy !req
288. What Harley and I have
is 100% different.
Copy !req
289. We are equals.
Copy !req
290. I'd never ask her
to compromise herself
like you did.
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291. Well, maybe not on purpose.
Copy !req
292. I'm sorry. What are you
implying right now?
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293. Yesterday she's stopping
your big plan,
Copy !req
294. but today she's ready to go
hard-boiled, running
the Legion of Doom?
Copy !req
295. I mean, I'm no therapist,
Copy !req
296. but clearly Harley's having
second thoughts about
whatever you're doing here.
Copy !req
297. And that was
a lapse in judgment,
and it won't be repeated.
Copy !req
298. Harley's into
what we're doing here.
Copy !req
299. I didn't want to bring out
the big guns, but...
Copy !req
300. When did you ever see Harley
forget her bat?
Copy !req
301. Oh, fuck.
Copy !req
302. Let's kill the bozo!
Copy !req
303. People don't need
to see another version
of the Wayne Murders.
Copy !req
304. This shit's like
the Titanic, baby.
Copy !req
305. - We know how it ends.
- Hey.
Copy !req
306. You really want
to do this, Harley?
Copy !req
307. Of course!
Copy !req
308. I do.
Copy !req
309. Has Martha uttered a word yet?
Copy !req
310. That CGI moustache
cost $12 million.
Copy !req
311. My big monologue! Hold my hand.
Copy !req
312. Remember the horse
and the sparrow, son.
Copy !req
313. "If you feed
the horse enough oats,
Copy !req
314. some will pass through
to the road for the sparrows
to eat and prosper."
Copy !req
315. You are proof
that anything is possible
if you're born into...
Copy !req
316. generational wealth.
Copy !req
317. Let my death...
Copy !req
318. define your entire life.
Copy !req
319. I fought for that line.
Copy !req
320. Get out of the way
so I can bash
the mayor's head in.
Copy !req
321. Hey, I have no problem with you
killing Joker right now,
Copy !req
322. but not if you're only doing it
because it's what I want.
Copy !req
323. Can we hurry this up?
Copy !req
324. Would you listen
to this dick?
Copy !req
325. Why wouldn't
I want to kill him?
Copy !req
326. You did stop my plan
to terraform Gotham.
Copy !req
327. Because of the zombies
and the barf.
Copy !req
328. You're friends with Batgirl.
Copy !req
329. Uh, friendly, not friends. No.
Copy !req
330. And...
I hate saying this,
Copy !req
331. but, you know,
you've been reluctant
Copy !req
332. to kill people
in a way that is,
Copy !req
333. frankly, it's concerning to me.
Copy !req
334. Oh, I'll show you reluctant.
Copy !req
335. Harley. Face it.
Copy !req
336. You've...
Copy !req
337. You've evolved.
Copy !req
338. You want to help people.
Copy !req
339. You're not a villain anymore.
Copy !req
340. That is not true!
Copy !req
341. Why won't you just admit it?
Copy !req
342. Because I don't want
to lose you.
Copy !req
343. Do you really think
that you would lose me?
Copy !req
344. If we don't want
the same thing,
Copy !req
345. what does that mean for us?
Copy !req
346. Look, if running
the Legion of Doom
with me isn't for you,
Copy !req
347. that's— it's okay.
Copy !req
348. I don't want you
to compromise yourself.
Copy !req
349. I mean, we're equals
in this relationship,
Copy !req
350. and that's why it's so great.
Copy !req
351. We can fully have
different passions.
Copy !req
352. I mean, if I didn't leave you
during your craft beer phase,
Copy !req
353. I'm not leaving you now.
Copy !req
354. Yeah, no. I could not pull off
those cargo shorts.
Copy !req
355. Look, as long as
you're honest with me,
Copy !req
356. I will support
whatever you want to do.
Copy !req
357. But... what if I don't know
exactly what that is?
Copy !req
358. Like...
Copy !req
359. Look, I, I know
I don't want to kill Joker,
Copy !req
360. and I... I don't want to do
a big, evil plan, but,
Copy !req
361. do I want to help people? I—
Maybe. I don't know.
Copy !req
362. I just— I haven't really
let myself think about it.
Copy !req
363. People are saying
I'm not a villain anymore,
Copy !req
364. which is fine, like, whatever.
Labels are lame.
Copy !req
365. But I— I'm not ready
to identify as the other thing.
Copy !req
366. You know what?
We're going to figure
it out together. Right?
Copy !req
367. BFFGFFs?
Copy !req
368. That's us, right?
Copy !req
369. Right.
Copy !req
370. - Beautiful stuff.
Copy !req
371. What time is it?
Copy !req
372. Where the fuck
do you need to be?
Copy !req
373. - Billy Bob!
Billy Bob!
Copy !req
374. Billy Bob! Billy Bob!
Copy !req
375. They should be
chanting my name.
Copy !req
376. Play it cool, baby.
Copy !req
377. You've made it this far.
Accept the applause.
Copy !req
378. Give a faux-humble bow,
and sit your ass down.
Copy !req
379. Oh, no.
Copy !req
380. It is not Billy Bob
whose performance
has moved you all this evening.
Copy !req
381. It is I, Clayface,
Copy !req
382. the true star
behind Thomas Wayne.
Copy !req
383. Billy Bob is a shape shifter?
That's how he does it.
Copy !req
384. No, I'm not Billy Bob!
Copy !req
385. He doesn't deserve
your applause.
Copy !req
386. I do!
Copy !req
387. Billy Bob is dead!
Copy !req
388. - Dead because of me!
- Look, buddy.
Copy !req
389. They're just not listening.
Copy !req
390. Congrats to Billy Bob Thornton
on a spectacular performance.
Copy !req
391. This movie reminds us that
billionaires like Bruce Wayne
know no shame.
Copy !req
392. The real drain
on the city is the 1%.
Copy !req
393. But today we come
one step closer to ending
Copy !req
394. the appalling
wealth disparity in Gotham.
Copy !req
395. Send in the clowns!
Copy !req
396. Oh. Uh.
Copy !req
397. This is a sting operation.
Copy !req
398. Public humiliation has
a long history
in the annals of justice.
Copy !req
399. So we lured you into our trap.
Copy !req
400. And now we're busting you
for tax evasion.
Copy !req
401. Ladies and gentlemen,
and non-binary friends,
Copy !req
402. this is for you.
Copy !req
403. And for me.
Copy !req
404. "Bruce Wayne,
you are under arrest
for intentional omission.
Copy !req
405. manipulation, and alteration
of accounting records."
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406. He's also guilty
of being a thief and a bitch.
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407. Wow! Huba-hub.
What's with the glow up, Ivy?
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408. And that's three.
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409. You're goddamn right it is.
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410. I need a fucking drink!
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411. Let's go get blackout
on bulk champagne.
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412. Deep breaths.
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413. You will be okay.
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414. I know... I think?
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415. Maybe this is a good thing.
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416. I have all this trauma
I've been carrying around.
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417. If I can finally
go deal with it,
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418. I can get back
to the life I want.
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419. Helping people
and protecting Gotham.
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420. It's exciting. And scary.
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421. It is both of those things.
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422. Hey, not to add to your trauma,
but I think Selina stole
your mom's pearls.
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423. Oh, come on.
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424. I'll be available
for lame zoom sessions
if you need me.
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425. Excuse me.
Coming through. Pardon me.
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426. Can you give us a minute, Carl?
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427. Blackgate Penitentiary is
30 clicks off the port
of Gotham.
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428. I'll have Nightwing
gas up the BatBoat—
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429. Don't bother.
I intend to serve my time.
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430. The people of the city have
to know there are consequences,
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431. even for me.
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432. While I'm gone,
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433. I need you to step up,
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434. lead the Bat-Family,
and protect Gotham.
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435. We can't do that
without Batman.
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436. Of course you can.
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437. You've already done it.
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438. You stopped the Mad Hatter.
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439. You helped stop the zombies
when I was...
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440. indisposed.
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441. Gotham is in good hands.
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442. Huh?
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443. Mmm.
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444. Oh, so there were
some hiccups tonight.
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445. But if it helps,
you win my best actor award.
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446. A hug.
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447. It doesn't.
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448. So, okay, that's,
so that's what you've decided.
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449. It is.
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450. I was alone for so long,
carrying around
all this trauma.
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451. But then I met you
and I fell in love,
which helped me get past it.
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452. I'm finally in a place
where I can actually think
about what I want.
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453. It's exciting.
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454. And scary.
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455. I'm proud of you.
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456. So, is Lex gonna be pissed
you didn't kill Joker?
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457. Oh, he'll probably want me
even more now...
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458. Mmm. God knows I do.
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459. Hey, assholes!
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460. Uh.
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461. Harley?
What are you doing here?
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462. Yeah, with Batty in the clink,
I thought you silly rodents
might need a little help. Hmm.
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463. Don't worry, Nightwing.
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464. You still have the best
looking ass out of all of us.
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465. Mmm, let's give her a chance.
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466. You ready?
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467. Uh, like in general,
or is there something specific
we need to do?
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468. - Welcome to the fam, Harley!
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469. Whoa!
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470. Thanks for waiting,
you fucking dildos!
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471. I'll take the stairs.
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