1. My Lord and Savior
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2. Let us prepare our hearts
and extend peace to one another.
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3. Please greet your neighbor.
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4. - Peace be with you.
- Peace be with you.
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5. Peace be with you.
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6. May the blessing of Almighty God,
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7. the Father, the Son,
and the Holy Spirit
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8. come upon you all
and remain with you forever.
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9. Amen.
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10. Enemy spotted, nine o'clock.
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11. My nine o'clock, my nine o'clock.
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12. Setting alarm for nine o'clock.
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13. Lexi, off.
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14. Lexi must have heard
Mom's spirit whispering again.
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15. Help, I'm pinned, dudes, pinned.
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16. Darshan, we need your coordinates.
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17. Help, Jesus, help. I— Help!
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18. Darshan's village
has the worst internet provider.
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19. Darshan's a sitting duck.
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20. I got eyes, I got eyes.
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21. - Who is this?
- Target down.
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22. - What's going on over there?
- Another down.
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23. Save some of the action for us,
BriBri0054—
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24. You boys might want to fall back.
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25. Holy moly, it's the Fourth of July.
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26. I've got Darshan here,
but he's barely holding on.
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27. Duncan, med kit, stat.
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28. Save yours, sweetheart.
I'm a registered nurse.
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29. A nurse who knows her way
around a sniper rifle.
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30. Okay, I've officially seen it all now.
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31. Well, I guess you could say I've had
a lot of time on my hands lately.
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32. So, are you retired, or...?
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33. I'm on disability.
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34. Like in a wheelchair?
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35. Shit, you boys are a riot.
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36. So then BriBri picked off this guy
on the water tower
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37. and saved Darshan's butt once again.
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38. She was like...
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39. Sounds like the D-Man
will live to fight another day.
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40. Yeah, all thanks to BriBri.
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41. BriBri's so funny.
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42. With a laugh that could make
the world sing, Dad.
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43. I see.
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44. There's something special
about this one, Dad.
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45. I can feel it.
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46. I know it's been hard on you boys
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47. ever since Mom passed away.
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48. We just want the best for you, Dad.
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49. We got Dad's date all planned out.
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50. Picture this, Jeanette.
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51. A romantic candlelit dinner.
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52. All the fixings.
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53. And we're making
Dad's favorite dish.
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54. Beef minestrone.
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55. Mom's signature dish.
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56. Dad's gonna cry so hard.
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57. How did you meet
this woman again?
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58. Call to the Battalion.
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59. I'm reminded of the time
when I won the 2004
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60. World Trick Shot Championship.
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61. Wow, that's huge, Jeanette.
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62. Before I knew it,
all of Hollywood's leading men
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63. were banging down my door for a date.
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64. - No way.
- I need names.
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65. Taye Diggs.
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66. You went on a date
with Taye Diggs?
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67. He said he was a pool enthusiast,
so I figured, why not?
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68. Why not, she says.
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69. And I must say he was
an absolute gentleman.
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70. He even took a salsa class
because he knew I liked to dance.
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71. Taye making us all look bad.
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72. And let me tell you,
you haven't danced
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73. until you've danced on the rooftop
of Taye Diggs' penthouse.
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74. The views were breathtaking.
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75. That's incredible.
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76. So where's the rock?
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77. Turns out pool was the only thing
we had in common.
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78. - Jeanette, I'm so sorry.
- I was fine.
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79. I had other men lined up
around the block.
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80. Anthony LaPaglia...
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81. The point is,
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82. people might seem like
a good fit in the beginning,
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83. but just be careful.
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84. Well, I think the fellas and I
are a pretty good judge of character.
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85. I mean, she's a nurse.
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86. And BriBri, we're thinking
tres leches for dessert.
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87. - So come hungry.
- Lower level secured.
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88. - Heading to the stairwell.
- BriBri, do you have any food allergies
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89. we should know about before your date?
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90. Oh God, you know what?
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91. The world needs more boys
like you three, you know that?
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92. Well, we aim to please, BriBri.
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93. I too am very, very excited for your date.
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94. Darshan, floor two is clear, correct?
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95. I will send you
my mother's chutney recipe.
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96. It is very, very good.
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97. BriBri!
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98. God damn it, Darshan!
You said you cleared the second floor!
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99. - Duncan, med kit!
- You're a filthy liar, Darshan!
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100. I mean, his internet's
kind of laggy, BriBri.
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101. He didn't mean to hurt you.
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102. Boys, there are bad people in this world.
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103. Dangerous people.
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104. Promise me you'll never lie
to me. Promise.
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105. We will never lie to you, BriBri.
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106. We must protect BriBri at all costs.
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107. Looks like a couple more minutes.
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108. Knife and fork on the right?
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109. Wait, no, on the left.
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110. Crap, she's here!
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111. Is it right or left, guys?
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112. Duncan, look at me.
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113. She's going to love it.
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114. I just want everything
to be perfect for BriBri.
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115. Well, mission accomplished then,
because this spread looks amazing.
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116. Places, everyone.
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117. Hey, did somebody call for backup?
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118. Why, hello.
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119. Nice to meet you, Brianne.
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120. - The boys have told me so much about you.
- Please,
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121. call me BriBri.
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122. Okay, then. BriBri.
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123. Where are our manners?
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124. Please, won't you come inside?
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125. Well, I feel underdressed.
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126. Long story short, enemy fire
from all directions, right?
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127. And here I am lugging around
a howitzer at crawl speed.
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128. - I'm like, what?
- Oh, God, I remember that.
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129. Keep in mind, we forgot the bullets
in the busted-up T-34.
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130. Christ, that's right.
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131. Well, that's why I was dragging
the freaking thing in the first place.
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132. Oh, gosh.
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133. God, that's hilarious.
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134. Dad, what was that joke you said
on air the other day?
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135. - That's good, that's good.
- You know what's a joke?
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136. Me hauling a one-ton artillery weapon
up a hillside.
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137. I'm sure it was, BriBri.
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138. Dad, what was that joke?
It's killing me.
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139. Dad's the weatherman.
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140. This guy can rattle off
sidesplitters like no one else.
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141. God, it's killing me now.
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142. Well, we'd been getting a lot of humidity,
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143. so one day I just said,
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144. "I've been in swimming pools
drier than this."
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145. I don't believe in weathermen.
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146. So, BriBri, the boys tell me
you used to be a nurse.
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147. I'm still a nurse, like I told you.
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148. - I think what our dad's trying to say is—
- I don't want to hear about the weather.
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149. Everyone's always lying
about the weather.
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150. The weather is partly cloudy.
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151. Turn it off!
Those things are tracking me!
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152. Oh, Lexi? Nah.
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153. She probably just heard
our mom whispering again.
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154. Your mom whispering?
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155. I'm not sure if we mentioned this
to you before, BriBri.
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156. Our mom passed away
not too long ago.
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157. So the fellas and I use humor
as a way of coping.
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158. Just a silly little joke.
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159. BriBri, tres leches, are you in?
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160. I knew I felt a presence
the minute I stepped foot in this house.
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161. - Wait, seriously?
- Yes.
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162. I can detect her spirit hovering
right in this area here.
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163. Hey, she must really like
your cooking, am I right, boys?
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164. We're eating one of Mom's
favorite dishes right now.
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165. It's okay, Dad.
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166. Let it out.
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167. Angels talk to me all the time.
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168. I would have said something earlier,
but most people think I'm crazy.
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169. We would never think
you're crazy, BriBri.
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170. On a happier note,
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171. I think that's your mom telling us
to play some Call to the Battalion.
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172. I've got to admit,
you're one hell of a woman, BriBri.
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173. Whoa, let's move out, fellas.
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174. Hey, BriBri,
can you scooch over a smidge?
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175. It's a little tough to see back here.
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176. Here, BriBri, take a seat.
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177. - I can't sit. Your TV sucks dick.
- What was that?
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178. I got eyes! I got eyes!
I'm taking the shot!
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179. Yeah! You like that, dude?
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180. All right! Darshan with the headshot!
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181. D-Man! My dog!
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182. God damn it! I said I had the shot!
Are you deaf, Darshan?
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183. BriBri says,
"Drop and give me 20, soldier."
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184. Take a fucking English class,
Darshan! Fuck!
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185. Enemy fire! Enemy fire!
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186. BriBri, Darshan is on our team!
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187. Here comes Mama!
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188. Darshan, take a power step!
Quickly! She's right behind you!
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189. Whoa, whoa, BriBri! BriBri!
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190. We're on your team! We're on your team!
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191. - A team of liars!
- All right, pack your bags.
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192. Why do you insist everyone is lying?
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193. No one is lying to you, BriBri.
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194. Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
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195. You have a visitor
at the front entrance.
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196. - Don't let him in! Don't let him in!
- Don't let who in, BriBri?
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197. Boys, boys, boys! Don't let him in!
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198. Duncan, secure the game room!
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199. - I'll secure the foyer!
- Protect me!
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200. You promised to protect me!
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201. - You promised!
- I got eyes! I got eyes!
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202. Can I help you?
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203. Hey, I'm here to pick up my wife.
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204. God damn it!
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205. I just want to say again,
you've done nothing wrong.
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206. I mean, the woman
is clearly detached from reality.
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207. - Yeah, we noticed something was off.
- You noticed something was off?
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208. No, I believe you.
Trust me, I believe you.
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209. The woman is a complete
fabricator of lies, you know?
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210. She enters a relationship
with the mindset of, you know,
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211. - "What can I gain from this person?"
- That's unfortunate.
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212. You know, "How can I exploit this person?"
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213. - Right.
- She's a master manipulator.
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214. I liken her to the evil psychic
from Puppet Master,
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215. you know, played by Jimmie Skaggs.
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216. You guys familiar
with that franchise?
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217. The late Jimmie Skaggs,
I should say.
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218. Jimmie Skaggs plays this evil psychic
who uses his ability to control people.
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219. Kind of like a puppet master.
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220. Abuses his power, I should say.
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221. Okay, yeah, we'll definitely check it out.
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222. It's good. It's interesting.
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223. Well, is there anything else we can do?
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224. Just keep the authorities out of this.
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225. I think she just really wanted
to game with you guys.
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226. You know, she's a little crazy,
but she means well.
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227. You know, her heart's
in the right place.
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228. Hey, her brain may not be all there,
but her heart's in the right place.
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229. - Dad, we had no idea that she was—
- Listen, I get it.
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230. I think we all miss Mom.
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231. And I admit, this household
has felt a little out of step
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232. since she passed away.
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233. But we still have each other,
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234. and that's the most important thing.
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235. She may be gone, but she still lives on...
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236. in here and here.
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237. I can feel her, Dad.
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238. It's warm like Mom's beef minestrone.
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239. I think you boys
have some bad guys to kill.
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240. I'll clean up.
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241. I think we've played enough
Call to the Battalion for one night.
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242. Unless...
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243. Lexi, play American Sniper
official soundtrack!
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244. Playing American Sniper
official soundtrack.
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