Haha, You Clowns 1x6

Directed by

Marc Moceri as Bruski (voice)

Dad's old friends are in town for his birthday, and they have quite the stories to tell.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Okay, we got movement!

2. Look alive! Look alive, people!

3. Michael, we can still see your foot.

4. - Surprise! - Surprise!

5. God damn it! Jesus!

6. Happy birthday, old man.

7. Gary! Frank! Phil!

8. Oh, and Bruski.

9. How long's it been?

10. Not long enough, pledge!

11. Now drink this beer.

12. You boys have been cracking up at everything I've been saying.

13. It's just the way he says things.

14. I'm telling you, these boys are easily entertained.

15. I like it.

16. Come, brothers, let us raise a toast.

17. To the house We love the most

18. We'll march together

19. Day and night

20. With our brothers standing

21. Side by side

22. - Pinwheel? - Pinwheel?

23. How we doing on the veggie platter?

24. I'm going to need a larger cutting board.

25. - I got you. - Move, pledge!

26. Yeah, we could have taken them all too.

27. You keep telling yourself that, Bruski.

28. - Come on, Tom, back me up here. - Oh, gosh.

29. Hey, talking old war stories, I see.

30. - Yep. - Hey, where's your beer?

31. T— Trying to watch my figure.

32. The apple couldn't have fallen

33. further from the tree, huh, Tom?

34. So, Frank, how are the fish biting?

35. Yeah, we got your Christmas card!

36. What's this talk about you retiring?

37. - Hey, Tommy. - California.

38. You guys see what's happening

39. - in California right now? - Hulk mode.

40. Oh, and don't get me started on minimum wage.

41. Seriously, Chet, congratulations.

42. I'm sure Connie is thrilled

43. to have you helping around the house.

44. Now— Now, you two met in college, correct?

45. Yep. Homecoming parade. Your dad was there.

46. Our fraternity threw a pretty wicked

47. homecoming party, didn't we, Tom?

48. Hulk mode.

49. You know what's wicked?

50. - These pinwheels. - Hulk mode.

51. I mean, what is in these, Tristan?

52. Uh, it— it's probably the "taziki."

53. Yeah, typically when you think pinwheels—

54. And oh my goodness, there's a cake!

55. Can I cut anyone a slice?

56. What is this, confetti cake?

57. Tom's in Hulk mode again.

58. Hulk mode? What's that?

59. Your dad used to get so bombed at parties,

60. he would, uh...

61. - ... throw some things. - No way!

62. We're talking about our dad, correct?

63. - Okay, just making sure. - So what would he throw?

64. - We used to call it "Hulk mode." - Hulk mode.

65. I think the Hulk was a little before their time—

66. - No, we know the Hulk. - But what did he throw?

67. We're talking about Lou Ferrigno.

68. - Yeah, no, Lou Ferrigno. - So what would he throw?

69. He would throw me!

70. And one time,

71. your daddy was so blackout drunk,

72. he threw me off the frat house roof.

73. - Yeah. - Oh, God. That's hilarious.

74. No, no. The "hawarious" part was

75. the unsuspecting foreign exchange student

76. walking down below.

77. Huh? No, no, no, no!

78. No. Seriously?

79. Broke my fall.

80. Whatever happened to that kid?

81. I think he had to go back to China or something.

82. Never to be heard from again.

83. Classic Hulk mode, eh, Tom?

84. I— It was the Wild West back then.

85. It was. It was.

86. Very, very delicious.

87. Wow! I thought that was the oldest.

88. She's really sprouted.

89. Hey, boys, come— come settle a bet for us.

90. Now, who's your daddy's favorite, huh?

91. My money's on Duncan, but Chet thinks it's—

92. Don't listen to him.

93. Okay, I think we need to cut Bruski off.

94. Bar's closed.

95. You wanna cut me off? Then help me finish.

96. I told you, I'm watching my figure.

97. Chug it, pledge.

98. You your daddy's boy or what?

99. What are you even talking about, Bruski?

100. Well, then why don't you go ahead and prove it, pledge?

101. You a big ol' Hulk, or you a little baby Hulk?

102. - Excuse me! - There you go, that's it.

103. That's it.

104. I'm not my father.

105. Hey, your dad was a wild man

106. those first couple of years in college,

107. that's for sure.

108. But then he met your mother.

109. I mean, your dad did a complete 180.

110. He sobered up, started going to class,

111. and actually graduated with honors.

112. All thanks to your mom.

113. Oh, Lady, oh, Lady Of Lambda Phi

114. We raise our cup to you

115. A guiding star A light so bright

116. Your love is a rose Upon thy breast

117. Petals so red A perfume so sweet

118. For she is a Lady Of Lambda Phi

119. Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!

120. Okay, you guys got your keys, wallets...

121. - You guys grab your party favor? - Chet?

122. I hope you're not the one driving!

123. Ten and two, I'm serious now, Chet.

124. All right, fellas. Is it about that time?

125. Yeah, it's about that time.

126. Yeah, that should be warm enough.

127. I pledge my heart To the house

128. The house of Lambda Phi

129. Yeah. Right behind you.

130. The house of Lambda Phi Brothers together...

131. Hey, you wanna take off his shoes, there?

132. Quit feeling me up, perverts.

133. I pledge my heart To the house

134. The house of Lambda Phi

135. The house of Lambda Phi

136. Brothers together Arm in arm

137. A pint for one And a pint for all

138. Our heart beats As one hurrah

139. Our heart beats as one

140. Your daddy raised some sissy boys, you know that?

141. It's funny. I used to think you were hilarious,

142. but deep down, you're just a sad little boy.

143. Yeah, let's just do a once-over with vinegar and bleach,

144. before Dad wakes up.

145. Dad, w— what are you doing up so early?

146. Yeah, let me get you some ibuprofen, Dad.

147. That won't be necessary. I didn't drink much.

148. - Coffee, then. - Maybe in a sec.

149. - Hazelnut or French vanilla? - Please, take a seat.

150. Chinese? What's the occasion?

151. Dad, you didn't have to.

152. No, I did.

153. I want to show you boys something.

154. Thank you, that's good.

155. Any of you boys know what this is?

156. - Like a tassel? - An ornament.

157. It's a Chinese knot. It's a symbol of good luck

158. and prosperity in Chinese culture.

159. And this is a finger trap.

160. A reminder never to work against one another,

161. but together.

162. And this is a yuan. The official currency of China.

163. I was— I was gonna say,

164. that sure doesn't look like George Washington.

165. That's beautiful. Very nice.

166. Why are you even showing us this, Dad?

167. That foreign exchange student I injured so many years ago,

168. well, his name is Liang,

169. and we've actually kept in close touch

170. since that incident.

171. This box is full of letters, postcards,

172. and gifts from Liang.

173. He actually runs a successful plastics company

174. in Honghu, China.

175. Well, I'll be...

176. I've tried to keep that chapter of my life hidden

177. from you boys,

178. but now that you're becoming young men yourselves,

179. I just hope you can learn from your old man's mistakes.

180. Aw. Very handsome.

181. Dad, mistakes are in our DNA.

182. It's what makes us human.

183. For instance, remember that time

184. I busted your truck window playing ball?

185. Or that time in the food court

186. when I spilled hot chili all over your lap?

187. Oh, gosh.

188. Or even that time I ran my ten-speed

189. over Ms. Gracie's tiny little paws?

190. To Dad!

191. To Dad! Yo-ho!

192. Say, where's ol' Bruski, by the way?

193. "Dear Bruski, thank you for traveling so far

194. to make our dad's birthday truly a surprise.

195. We understand the glue that binds youthful friendship

196. in the beginning

197. - can sometimes..." - ... can sometimes

198. keep one stuck in the past.

199. I think it's safe to say

200. that you have a drinking problem.

201. We want to encourage you to consider seeking help.

202. Now is the time for you to fly on your own.

203. As brothers ourselves,

204. we know the importance of lifelong brotherhood.

205. Webster defines brotherhood

206. as "the quality or state of being brothers."

207. It goes on to define brotherhood

208. as "the relationship between brothers,

209. an association, society, or community of people."

210. There are many definitions to brotherhood,

211. but in this home, we simply define it as...

212. love.

213. Yo-ho, Bruski.

214. All right, places, everyone!

215. - This is not a drill! - He's coming! Hide!

216. Hey, guys! I'm home!

217. Anybody home?

218. Hello?

219. Anybody? Tristan?

220. Where is everybody?

221. Am I— Am I the only one here?

222. Am I home alone?