1. La La La La La La La— Ahh!Copy !req
2. Braces, braces
caught in the screen door!Copy !req
3. Someone dictate my will!Copy !req
4. I'm giving it all to Waddles!Copy !req
5. Say "ah," girl-dude.Copy !req
6. Ahh-uh!Copy !req
7. Soos!
You saved me!Copy !req
8. Just doing my job,
hambone!Copy !req
9. I'll see you dudes
tomorrow!Copy !req
10. Bye, Soos!Copy !req
11. Night, Soos!Copy !req
12. Doo duo duo...Copy !req
13. Walking to my car...Copy !req
14. You ever wonder
what Soos doesCopy !req
15. when he's not here
at the Mystery Shack?Copy !req
16. No.
Not really.Copy !req
17. Not once ever.Copy !req
18. Punch!Copy !req
19. Punch those leopards.Copy !req
20. Ooh, highlights are done!Copy !req
21. You are gonna make
the other grandmasCopy !req
22. at the bingo hall
so jealous.Copy !req
23. Just a minute, mijo.Copy !req
24. Look at this.Copy !req
25. Your cousin Reggie
is having an engagement partyCopy !req
26. next month.Copy !req
27. Wait, wait.
Reggie is engaged?Copy !req
28. But he's like
the poor man's Soos!Copy !req
29. I do not want to pressure you,
but you are a man now.Copy !req
30. In a way, it's time for you
to start meeting girls.Copy !req
31. I would like to see you settledCopy !req
32. before I ascend to heaven
and live with the angels.Copy !req
33. And with grandpa!Copy !req
34. No, he is not there.Copy !req
35. Please find a girl to bring
to Reggie's engagement.Copy !req
36. For Abuelita.Copy !req
37. No problem!Copy !req
38. I'm great at fixing stuff,
playing video games,Copy !req
39. having a sort-of moustache.Copy !req
40. I could totally
get a date in a week.Copy !req
41. Totally.Copy !req
42. Piece of cake.Copy !req
43. You're dead.Copy !req
44. I'm dead.Copy !req
45. Hello!Copy !req
46. Please don't let my horrible,
elderly face frighten you!Copy !req
47. Don't you want
to use that nickelCopy !req
48. to get a nugget
from Old Goldie?Copy !req
49. Watch this!Copy !req
50. Okay, seriously, Mr. Pines,Copy !req
51. it's time to throw
that thing out.Copy !req
52. Its face reminds everyone
of the inevitability of death.Copy !req
53. What?Copy !req
54. Sure, he's a little rusty
around the edges,Copy !req
55. but Old Goldie's
a classic show-stopper like me!Copy !req
56. Oh, kill it!Copy !req
57. Kill it!Copy !req
58. Huh, a woman!Copy !req
59. All right, Soos,
you could do this.Copy !req
60. Just use your mouth
to say wordsCopy !req
61. that makes romance happen.Copy !req
62. Your face is good.Copy !req
63. I'm a Soos!Copy !req
64. Soos?Copy !req
65. What was that all about?Copy !req
66. I— I think I was flirting!Copy !req
67. But I'm not sure.Copy !req
68. Did someone say flirting?Copy !req
69. Well, I sort of
promised my grandmaCopy !req
70. I'd get a date
by the end of the week.Copy !req
71. But I've never actually
been on a date before.Copy !req
72. You belong on me,
Out of Order sign.Copy !req
73. Finally, my prayers
for a chanceCopy !req
74. to match-make this summer
have been answered!Copy !req
75. Soos, a little advice
you need to get rich.Copy !req
76. Or lie about being rich.Copy !req
77. Outside of that,
I don't like your chances.Copy !req
78. Don't listen to Stan, dude.Copy !req
79. You're a sweet guy
with a steady jobCopy !req
80. and a pickup truck.Copy !req
81. Would you date him?Copy !req
82. Oh...
would you look at that...Copy !req
83. Soos, you help us so much,
it's time we help you, dude.Copy !req
84. We're gonna
get you that date.Copy !req
85. We're taking you
where romance livesCopy !req
86. and fashion styles die.Copy !req
87. To the mall!Copy !req
88. I'm gonna go find a replacement
for Old Goldie.Copy !req
89. Babysit Soos
while I'm gone.Copy !req
90. All right, Soos,Copy !req
91. are you ready to explode
a charm bombCopy !req
92. on these poor,
unsuspecting ladies?Copy !req
93. Ah, but what if
I embarrass myself again?Copy !req
94. Ah, you can't be any worse
at this than Dipper.Copy !req
95. Yeah!Copy !req
96. Wait... what?Copy !req
97. And flirt!Copy !req
98. Eye contact!Copy !req
99. Hey there!Copy !req
100. I'm not scared of your eyes
at all!Copy !req
101. I'm gonna look at them!Copy !req
102. Eye contact.Copy !req
103. Conversation!Copy !req
104. You know I've actually
been in a pig's body.Copy !req
105. Did you know pigs
have a hard timeCopy !req
106. walking backwards?Copy !req
107. Not you though!Copy !req
108. Not that
I'm calling you a pig.Copy !req
109. Where are you going?Copy !req
110. Confidence!Copy !req
111. So you're probably a girl,
right?Copy !req
112. Wrong?Copy !req
113. No, I was right
the first time.Copy !req
114. Wrong?Copy !req
115. Tossing away garbageCopy !req
116. in the garbage can,
whew!Copy !req
117. Ah, don't look at me
like that!Copy !req
118. This is how
it's got to be!Copy !req
119. What in the—Copy !req
120. What is this
living nightmare?Copy !req
121. Why do kids
love it so much?Copy !req
122. Who wants
to get badgered?Copy !req
123. Oh, yeah,
that's Will E. Badger.Copy !req
124. He opens for Hoo-Ha
and the Jamboree.Copy !req
125. It's Will E. Badger.Copy !req
126. I love you, Will E.Copy !req
127. Now, give me your money!Copy !req
128. Take my money!
Take it all!Copy !req
129. Uh!Copy !req
130. Sir, I would like
to buy that badger.Copy !req
131. You're in over your head,
Gran-ups!Copy !req
132. Animatronics is
a young man's game!Copy !req
133. You couldn't handle
the hardcore lifeCopy !req
134. of the pizza robot manager.Copy !req
135. Huh.Copy !req
136. Ff inched!Copy !req
137. Hey, you, barfing
in the ball pit,Copy !req
138. Gary's on the case!Copy !req
139. I'm gonna
get that badger!Copy !req
140. Don't worry, Soos.Copy !req
141. You will find the right girl,Copy !req
142. you just need
to stick with it.Copy !req
143. Ah, could this day
get any worse?Copy !req
144. Oh, no, cousin Reggie!Copy !req
145. Feel it, it's muscle.Copy !req
146. He can't see me
like this!Copy !req
147. I got to hide!Copy !req
148. This is it, Soos.Copy !req
149. A lifetime of loneliness.Copy !req
150. You're the only ones
who could love me...Copy !req
151. Eighty Hogg,
Dr. Punch Head MD.Copy !req
152. Huh.Copy !req
153. Never seen that one before.Copy !req
154. "Virtually improve
your dating skills,Copy !req
155. 9 out of 10 basement dwellers
recommend!"Copy !req
156. This is perfect!Copy !req
157. Well, I guess you are better
at games than at flirting.Copy !req
158. Anything to get you
out there, Soos!Copy !req
159. I'm not sure you want
to buy that game, sir.Copy !req
160. This is the third time
someone's brought that back.Copy !req
161. And there's a note on it
that says destroy at all costs.Copy !req
162. So, hey, there.
What's your deal?Copy !req
163. Like the—
Oh, she's dead.Copy !req
164. We'll take our chances.Copy !req
165. Man, I can't wait
for the year 2000.Copy !req
166. Uh-.Copy !req
167. Start!Copy !req
168. When the cherry petals
of magic romance academyCopy !req
169. are in bloom...Copy !req
170. anthyding can hadplen.Copy !req
171. That is so true.Copy !req
172. Oh, hi there.Copy !req
173. My name is Giffany,Copy !req
174. I'm a school girl
at school university,Copy !req
175. will you help me
carry my books?Copy !req
176. I'm really feeling
number two here.Copy !req
177. Click!Copy !req
178. Ah.
I messed up.Copy !req
179. That's okay.Copy !req
180. Try again.Copy !req
181. Wow!
I'm learning.Copy !req
182. And games
are making it fun.Copy !req
183. What would you like
to talk about?Copy !req
184. I'd rather just
click your face.Copy !req
185. You are so funny!Copy !req
186. Man, this game
is amazing.Copy !req
187. I don't know
why anyone abandoned it.Copy !req
188. And I'm sure,
you'll never abandon me,Copy !req
189. new boy friend.Copy !req
190. Boy friend?Copy !req
191. Oh, my Giffany,Copy !req
192. it's almost like
you're actually alive!Copy !req
193. Yes, almost.Copy !req
194. Oh, man, you have
such a nice laugh.Copy !req
195. You don't understand,
Wendy.Copy !req
196. This animatronic badger sings,
it dances.Copy !req
197. It's the perfect
money taking attractionCopy !req
198. but he won't sell it to me.Copy !req
199. This is literally too dumb
for me to care about.Copy !req
200. Hey, have you guys
seen Soos?Copy !req
201. We're supposed to help him
with matchmaking today.Copy !req
202. Yeah!Copy !req
203. I wore my motivational
sweater and everything.Copy !req
204. I messed up that part.Copy !req
205. He didn't come in today.Copy !req
206. It's the first time
he's missed work ever.Copy !req
207. So that's basically
my entire life story.Copy !req
208. Now you tell me
a thing about you.Copy !req
209. Every time
you compliment me,Copy !req
210. I get another highlight
in my eyes.Copy !req
211. Ah, you're pretty.Copy !req
212. And pixelly.Copy !req
213. And so agreeable.Copy !req
214. Yes.Copy !req
215. Uh, Soos.Copy !req
216. Oh, hi, dudes, come in.Copy !req
217. This game is amazing.Copy !req
218. I'm making eye contact,
going on datesCopy !req
219. and I haven't seen
any natural sunlightCopy !req
220. for 13 hours.Copy !req
221. Soos, maybe it's time to apply
these skills with real girls.Copy !req
222. But, I'm about to meet her
parents!Copy !req
223. Her dad is an
octopus man.Copy !req
224. We're going back
to the mall, man.Copy !req
225. You need to unplug!Copy !req
226. I'll see you later, Giffany.Copy !req
227. I'll be back, I swear.Copy !req
228. Soos, you don't have
to wish her goodbye.Copy !req
229. It's just a game!Copy !req
230. It's not like
it's going anywhere.Copy !req
231. Yes, it's not like
I'm going anywhere.Copy !req
232. Hello,Copy !req
233. time to read
Soos's diary.Copy !req
234. Dang!Copy !req
235. Where all of them
sweet honeys at?Copy !req
236. I'll check
the ladies bathroom!Copy !req
237. It's love time, girls!Copy !req
238. Get out there!Copy !req
239. No time
to wash your hands!Copy !req
240. Get out of here.Copy !req
241. It's time to date,
date, date.Copy !req
242. And here comes security.Copy !req
243. I'll deal with this.Copy !req
244. Stay here and practice
on some real girls.Copy !req
245. These girls have
so many dimensionsCopy !req
246. and no explanation y menus.Copy !req
247. Ah, my purse.Copy !req
248. Oh, no!Copy !req
249. Undo'! Undo'.!Copy !req
250. You can't undo
who you are.Copy !req
251. Oh, man, this is the worst.Copy !req
252. I wish I was
back home with...Copy !req
253. Hi, Soos.Copy !req
254. Gifiany!Copy !req
255. Oh, man, I am so relieved
to see you!Copy !req
256. Although, sort of confused.Copy !req
257. Oh, SO05!Copy !req
258. I am not an ordinary game!Copy !req
259. I am special.Copy !req
260. The programmers
tried to delete me.Copy !req
261. So I had to delete them.Copy !req
262. What did you do to them?Copy !req
263. That's not important.Copy !req
264. What's important isCopy !req
265. you don't have to talk
to real girls ever again.Copy !req
266. You and me can
be together...Copy !req
267. forever!Copy !req
268. Wow, that's awesome!Copy !req
269. Sort of a red flag.Copy !req
270. But mostly awesome!Copy !req
271. So what do you want
to do now?Copy !req
272. Anything you want, Soos.Copy !req
273. Chou-choc».Copy !req
274. Please insert
50 cents to continue.Copy !req
275. Aw, man!Copy !req
276. Oh, I'm sorry.Copy !req
277. Dude, that's awesome
that you're a grown manCopy !req
278. riding a little train
like that.Copy !req
279. You're totally
like owning it.Copy !req
280. Huh?Copy !req
281. Oh, yeah, I'm like,
if it's fun, do it.Copy !req
282. You know?Copy !req
283. Exactly!Copy !req
284. Being an adult
is the worst!Copy !req
285. Skewering meat,
remembering to pay bills.Copy !req
286. I just want to ride
tiny trains all day.Copy !req
287. At least you get to work
at Meat Cute,Copy !req
288. extreme lunch meats
are the food of the future.Copy !req
289. I feel the same way.Copy !req
290. I'm Melody by the way.Copy !req
291. I'm Soos!Copy !req
292. I tell you,
if you like robots for kids,Copy !req
293. you should check out
the best restaurantCopy !req
294. of all time.Copy !req
295. You mean...Copy !req
296. Hoo-Ha Owl's
Pizzamatronic Jamboree.Copy !req
297. What?Copy !req
298. You've heard of Hoo-Ha Owl's?Copy !req
299. I loved that place
when I was a kid!Copy !req
300. Oh, yeah, dude,
there's one right in this mall!Copy !req
301. I should show you sometime.Copy !req
302. I'm free around eight?Copy !req
303. Boom.
Done.Copy !req
304. Perfect.Copy !req
305. I'll see you then.Copy !req
306. What a nice lady.Copy !req
307. Well, back to riding this
tiny train for children.Copy !req
308. Soos!Copy !req
309. We saw the whole thing, Soos.Copy !req
310. That was amazing!Copy !req
311. You talked to a real girl.Copy !req
312. And you got a date!
I did?Copy !req
313. Ah!
Ah!Copy !req
314. This is the best day
of my life!Copy !req
315. You were in the zone,
you made eye contact.Copy !req
316. It was like you'd done this
a million times before!Copy !req
317. Don't you see?Copy !req
318. That game really worked!Copy !req
319. You don't need it anymore!Copy !req
320. You can toss it out!Copy !req
321. Toss it?Copy !req
322. But I like Giffany!Copy !req
323. She's good to me!Copy !req
324. She's predictable!Copy !req
325. Soos,
can a computer gameCopy !req
326. go to Reggie's engagement party
with you?Copy !req
327. Uh...Copy !req
328. Hey, Giffany,
we got to talk.Copy !req
329. Of course,
I'm programmed to findCopy !req
330. everything you say interesting.Copy !req
331. Well, have you ever had
to choose betweenCopy !req
332. two things you like,Copy !req
333. but you don't know
which one is right for you?Copy !req
334. I mean,
I'm just thinking long term.Copy !req
335. Maybe I should be
with someone a little lessCopy !req
336. beep-hoop, you know.Copy !req
337. I don't think you know
what you are saying, Soos.Copy !req
338. No one loves you
more than me.Copy !req
339. The girls out there
will just make fun of you.Copy !req
340. You really think so?Copy !req
341. I know so.Copy !req
342. Besides, we had a deal.Copy !req
343. You bought my game,
you held my books,Copy !req
344. you are my boyfriend.Copy !req
345. Now sit down in that chair.Copy !req
346. I don't think I like the way
you are acting.Copy !req
347. I won't let another girl
take you away from me, Soos!Copy !req
348. Giffany, calm down.Copy !req
349. You are mine, Soos!Copy !req
350. Pause.Copy !req
351. Oh, that got intense.Copy !req
352. I'm sorry, Giffany.Copy !req
353. Maybe having
a cursed robo girlfriendCopy !req
354. wasn't a good idea.Copy !req
355. I'm taking you back
to the video game storeCopy !req
356. after my date
with Melody.Copy !req
357. Hello, old friends.Copy !req
358. I've got to be careful
this time.Copy !req
359. No more Colombian nights.Copy !req
360. All right, Stan,
this is weird even for you,Copy !req
361. you need to talk?Copy !req
362. Nothing you could say
will change my mind, Wendy.Copy !req
363. Sometimes, a man has to steal
an animatronic badgerCopy !req
364. to stay in this crazy game
called life.Copy !req
365. Or you could just not care.Copy !req
366. It's about the principle.Copy !req
367. No one tells Stan Pines
he is out of the game.Copy !req
368. No one tells—Copy !req
369. I'll get your
orthopedic back pillow.Copy !req
370. Thank you!Copy !req
371. You can do this, Soos.Copy !req
372. Just remember
what your love crew taught you!Copy !req
373. How does she look?Copy !req
374. Nice!Copy !req
375. What are her stories?Copy !req
376. Interesting!Copy !req
377. And who's gonna
pay for dinner?Copy !req
378. Soos is!Copy !req
379. Now date!Copy !req
380. They grow up so fast.Copy !req
381. Itchy legs, itchy N395-Copy !req
382. Oh, hi, Soos.Copy !req
383. Melody!Copy !req
384. Are you ready
for a date with me?Copy !req
385. I totally am.Copy !req
386. Good show, man.Copy !req
387. Way to warm them up!Copy !req
388. I wish I was more like you.Copy !req
389. Man, I could go for someCopy !req
390. complimentary bread sticks
right now.Copy !req
391. One time
I was so hungryCopy !req
392. I ate the decorational bamboo
in a Chinese restaurant.Copy !req
393. Like a big old panda.Copy !req
394. You're hilarious.Copy !req
395. Well, you know,
I just sort of sayCopy !req
396. whatever
pops into my—Copy !req
397. Soos, are you okay?Copy !req
398. No, I'm fine.Copy !req
399. Everything's fine.Copy !req
400. Are you sure?Copy !req
401. You are spitting
an awful lot.Copy !req
402. Uh, could you sit tight?Copy !req
403. I have go to the bathroom
for a long time.Copy !req
404. Not in a weird way.Copy !req
405. Soos!
What are you doing out there?Copy !req
406. I got a big problem, guys,
I am being stalked by Giffany.Copy !req
407. Gifiany?Copy !req
408. Or maybe
it's pronounced Giffany.Copy !req
409. I was never really sure.Copy !req
410. Soos, get a grip on yourself.Copy !req
411. Giffany can't stalk you
because she is not real.Copy !req
412. Uh-oh.Copy !req
413. Take it from someone
who broughtCopy !req
414. an arcade game to life.
This will not end well.Copy !req
415. Don't worry, I'm pretty sure
she is stuck on TV screens.Copy !req
416. Ah, a new challenger
approaches,Copy !req
417. prepare to be—Copy !req
418. Oh, boy-Copy !req
419. So hey! Anyway, you want to move
this date into the forestCopy !req
420. far away from all electronics
and people?Copy !req
421. What? But the floor show's
about to start!Copy !req
422. Who wants to hear
Hon-Ha the ow“.!Copy !req
423. Hello, friends,
Hoo-Ha the owl is dead.Copy !req
424. This next song goes out to my
forever boyfriend, Soos.Copy !req
425. Soos, what's going on?Copy !req
426. No time to explain!Copy !req
427. We got to get out of here!Copy !req
428. The only way out, Soos,
is in my arms.Copy !req
429. Capture them!Copy !req
430. Done!Copy !req
431. Out with the old,
in with the new!Copy !req
432. I feel invincible.Copy !req
433. Ah!Copy !req
434. What—
what the—Copy !req
435. Who wants to get badgered?Copy !req
436. Sorry, Soos.Copy !req
437. But you can't run away
from our relationship.Copy !req
438. So about all this,Copy !req
439. I may have purchased
a dating simulatorCopy !req
440. that attained sentience
and went crazy.Copy !req
441. Oh, I am crazy.Copy !req
442. Crazy for you, Soos.Copy !req
443. Ah!Copy !req
444. Oh, no.Copy !req
445. Oh, I'm so sorry, Melody!
I'll fix this!Copy !req
446. It's me that she wants.Copy !req
447. I'll distract her while
Dipper and Mabel keep you safe.Copy !req
448. It's the only way.Copy !req
449. Soos, these are children.Copy !req
450. The only WHY!Copy !req
451. Over here, Giffany!Copy !req
452. Stop!Copy !req
453. On three, we split.Copy !req
454. One, two-Copy !req
455. Stay back, you monster!Copy !req
456. Ah!Copy !req
457. Yes, yes, get him, Goldie,
get him.Copy !req
458. I'm gonna eat your face
like pizza.Copy !req
459. I have got you surrounded,
Soos.Copy !req
460. There is no way out.Copy !req
461. Please, let my friends go.Copy !req
462. I'll do anything you want.
I promise.Copy !req
463. I seem to remember
someone promisingCopy !req
464. he will be my boyfriend.Copy !req
465. Think about it,
real girls are unpredictable,Copy !req
466. they judge Yo"-.Copy !req
467. You really think Melody
is going to take you backCopy !req
468. after this awful date?Copy !req
469. I can download your brain
into the game with meCopy !req
470. and we will be together
forever.Copy !req
471. Ah!Copy !req
472. Stay back.Copy !req
473. Come on, Soos.Copy !req
474. Don't make me
to leave you, too.Copy !req
475. What do you say?Copy !req
476. I say, f game over,
Glffany!Copy !req
477. No!
Wait!Copy !req
478. You did it!Copy !req
479. You old, beautiful monster!Copy !req
480. You did it!Copy !req
481. How's about you and me
hit the town?Copy !req
482. These old has-beens
are going to Vegas!Copy !req
483. I'm sorry for all this.Copy !req
484. I honestly remember
this place being a lot more funCopy !req
485. when I was a kid.Copy !req
486. Believe it or not,
I've been on worse dates.Copy !req
487. Really?Copy !req
488. Never date a magician.Copy !req
489. Ew!
Why would I?Copy !req
490. Oh, hey, you wouldn't maybe
be interestedCopy !req
491. in coming to my cousin'sCopy !req
492. engagement party
in a week?Copy !req
493. I promise there is like
zero robot badgers.Copy !req
494. Yeah, I'll still be
in town then.Copy !req
495. Still be in town?Copy !req
496. I'm going back home to Portland
in a few weeksCopy !req
497. but we can video chat,
if that's okay with you?Copy !req
498. A relationship with a girlCopy !req
499. that I can only see
through my computer,Copy !req
500. sounds perfect.Copy !req
501. Spirit of love,
we did it.Copy !req
502. Yes, yes,
I'm so HAPPY-Copy !req
503. Have you been
following us all day?Copy !req
504. Soos's life
is my soap opera.Copy !req