1. End times
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2. are here, folks.
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3. Only way to salvation
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4. is to embrace
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5. the triangular ways
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6. of our overlord.
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7. Any object with more than
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8. three sides is sinful.
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9. That's it. That's probably
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10. what Bill wants.
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11. I reckon I've been
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12. living a lie.
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13. Ladies, gentlemen,
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14. that creature with, like,
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15. 87 different faces.
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16. Eighty-eight
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17. different faces.
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18. Oh, sorry.
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19. Touchy subject.
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20. Anyways, it's been fun
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21. turning Gravity Falls
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22. inside out, rounding up
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23. all its terrified citizens
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24. and then stacking them
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25. into this massive
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26. throne of frozen
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27. human agony.
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28. Don't worry, they're not
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29. conscious anymore.
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30. Probably.
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31. My omelets... they have
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32. friendly faces.
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33. Whoops.
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34. Back you go there.
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35. But Gravity Falls
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36. is just the beginning.
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37. It's time to take
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38. our chaos worldwide!
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39. All right, boys,
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40. to the corners of the earth.
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41. Set the world aflame
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42. with your weirdness.
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43. This dimension is ours!
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44. Ah, global domination.
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45. I could get used to...
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46. What?
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47. Hm, this might be
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48. more complicated than I thought.
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49. I think
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50. I broke something.
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51. Walk it off!
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52. Mabel. Mabel!
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53. Okay, guys, Bill has
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54. taken over the town,
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55. and if
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56. this weirdness spreads,
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57. he's gonna take over
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58. the whole world.
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59. Our first step to
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60. stopping him is rescuing Mabel,
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61. but he's got her trapped in
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62. this strange prison bubble.
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63. What is this place
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64. anyway?
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65. Guys, if I die,
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66. I wanna die hugging.
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67. Soos, you're choking me.
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68. Let my body
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69. be your shield.
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70. Is the entire ground
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71. a bouncy castle?
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72. Do you hear
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73. '80s music?
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74. And does the air smell
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75. like childlike wonder?
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76. Whoa!
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77. This is Mabel's prison?
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78. Yes. Definitely.
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79. Absolutely.
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80. It's fun o'clock, everyone.
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81. Today's weather calls for
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82. rainbows
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83. with a chance of
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84. dance parties.
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85. If you're the owner of
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86. a unicorn with a top hat,
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87. please come to
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88. the ice cream beach.
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89. Your unicorn
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90. is being towed.
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91. What is this new world?
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92. Shining, shimmering,
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93. splendid.
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94. Welcome to Mabeland.
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95. And this is worse than
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96. the apocalypse.
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97. Dude, this place
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98. hurts my eyes.
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99. Oh, that's normal.
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100. Mabeland's rainbows
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101. have colors
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102. only bees and art students
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103. can see.
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104. Now who wants to go
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105. on the grand tour?
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106. - Do we have a choice?
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107. No!
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108. Mabeland is the ultimate
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109. paradise,
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110. and the only rule—
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111. there are no rules!
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112. Except for one rule,
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113. which is very serious.
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114. But no one would
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115. ever break it,
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116. so it's not
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117. worth mentioning.
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118. Yeah!
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119. Listen, creepy dream guys,
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120. we're not here to party, okay?
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121. We just need to find Mabel
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122. and get her out of here.
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123. Where is she?
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124. Our home girl Mabel
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125. lives at our next stop.
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126. That rules!
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127. Now come have
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128. rad snacks
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129. served by
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130. awesome penguins.
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131. Oh, score.
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132. I'm so hungry.
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133. Yeah. I haven't eaten
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134. anything
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135. except for part of my hat
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136. for the last three days.
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137. Can you guys
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138. just hold on a second?
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139. Do you see
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140. what's happening here?
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141. Don't forget, this world
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142. was created by Bill.
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143. That punch
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144. is probably blood.
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145. And that glitter rain is probably
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146. ground-up bones or babies or something.
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147. Bill's using Mabel's
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148. own fantasies
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149. as some sick trap.
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150. We need to grab Mabel
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151. and get the heck outta here.
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152. Oh, Mabel? She's at
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153. the top of the tallest tower,
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154. guarded by those
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155. big, buff waffle guards.
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156. There's no way
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157. to get past them.
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158. Someone hand me
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159. some syrup.
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160. It's happening.
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161. The moment we trained for.
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162. Don't worry, man.
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163. I gotcha.
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164. It's now or never, guys.
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165. This is a rescue.
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166. Everyone hit the deck.
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167. Hang in there, Mabel!
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168. There she is.
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169. Soos, grab her.
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170. Wendy, barricade
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171. the door.
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172. Up you go,
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173. little lady.
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174. Soos? Wendy?
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175. Dipper?
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176. The waffles
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177. are coming back.
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178. - We gotta hurry!
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179. - Uh, guys.
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180. Don't worry, Mabel.
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181. We'll get you out of this.
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182. But Dipper...
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183. Mabel, what are
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184. you doing?
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185. We're trying to save you
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186. from this prison.
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187. This isn't a prison.
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188. I made this world.
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189. Well, I sorta woke up here.
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190. - It's complicated.
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191. - What are you saying?
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192. I'm saying this is
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193. my home now,
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194. and I don't wanna
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195. be saved.
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196. - Sorry, Mabel.
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197. - No worries, bubble bear.
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198. - You did what?
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199. - Look, after you said
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200. you wouldn't come back home with
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201. me at the end of the summer
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202. for your "apprenticeship,"
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203. I wanted to hide
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204. in my sweater forever.
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205. But then I woke up
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206. in a place that gives me
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207. exactly what I wanted—
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208. an endless summer where
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209. we'll never have to grow up.
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210. Here, the sun shines all day,
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211. the party never ends,
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212. and now that you guys are here,
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213. it's finally perfect.
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214. Listen, Mabel,
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215. we're not here to party.
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216. All of this is crazy.
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217. Ugh! I figured you might say
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218. something like that, Dipper.
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219. That's why I've prepared
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220. a backup Dipper
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221. with a more supportive
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222. attitude.
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223. Whoa!
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224. Uh, yeah!
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225. Wiggity-wiggity
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226. what's up, dude bros?
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227. I'm Dippy Fresh.
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228. I like skateboarding,
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229. supporting my sister,
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230. and punctuating every
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231. third sentence with a high five.
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232. Oh, don't mind if I...
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233. Ahem!
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234. I'm sorry. I can't
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235. leave him hanging.
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236. - Yes.
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237. - You're dead to me, Soos.
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238. Trust me. You guys
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239. are gonna love it here.
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240. This world always
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241. knows what you want,
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242. sometimes even
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243. before you do.
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244. Apparently I wanted
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245. a chinchilla.
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246. Right again, Mabeland.
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247. Mabel, listen to yourself.
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248. This is crazy.
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249. I'm sorry about our fight,
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250. and I'm sorry
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251. things aren't great right now,
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252. but that doesn't mean
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253. you can just stay in here forever.
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254. Hey, take a chill pill.
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255. Those grow on trees here.
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256. You stay out of this,
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257. Dippy Fresh!
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258. Dude, calm down.
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259. Dippy Fresh didn't do
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260. anything to you, dawg.
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261. I know it seems
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262. too good to be true,
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263. but just give
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264. this place a chance.
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265. Mabeland knows
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266. just what you want,
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267. and always provides.
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268. Pudding center.
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269. Nice.
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270. Actually, Mabel,
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271. I'm with Dipper on this.
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272. Gravity Falls is in trouble,
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273. and I really think—
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274. Wendy!
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275. Guys? You're safe.
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276. We've got a monster truck
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277. full of fireworks, fake ID's,
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278. and pranking supplies.
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279. Wanna drive this truck
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280. to the high school
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281. and glue this plunger
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282. to the principal's head?
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283. Yes. Yes, I do.
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284. Sorry, guys. I've always
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285. wanted to do that.
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286. I'll be back
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287. in just a few minutes.
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288. Whoo-hoo!
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289. - Wendy?
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290. - Don't worry, dude.
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291. There's nothing in this world
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292. that could break me
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293. from our mission.
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294. Soos mi hijo.
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295. I have returned.
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296. Holy... whoa, whoa.
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297. Dad?
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298. You don't remember
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299. what I look like,
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300. so I have the body
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301. of a pro wrestler,
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302. and a face you once saw
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303. on a hot sauce bottle.
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304. I was never there for you,
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305. but in this world, I can be.
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306. - You're perfect.
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307. - It's a trap.
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308. Don't go with him, Soos,
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309. no matter what he offers you.
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310. Want to play catch?
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311. I'm sorry, dude.
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312. Even if it is
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313. all a dream,
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314. I've gotta play
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315. just one game.
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316. Come on, Dad.
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317. Okay, this has
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318. gone too far.
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319. You can't honestly think these
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320. fantasies are good for anyone.
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321. You can't argue with
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322. the results.
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323. People are happy here.
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324. Does it really matter
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325. if it's real or not?
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326. For once, stop listening
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327. to your head,
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328. and listen to your heart.
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329. Mabeland has something
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330. for everyone, even you.
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331. In fact...
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332. Nope. Not looking.
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333. Not looking.
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334. All right, can anybody
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335. explain to me why,
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336. even with our newfound
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337. infinite power...
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338. none of us can escape
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339. the borders
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340. of this stupid
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341. hick town?
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342. There's some kind of
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343. force field keeping us in.
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344. But who would know
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345. how to fix it?
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346. Hmm. Maybe someone needs
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347. to come out of retirement.
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348. Bill. Sorry, boss,
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349. but Gideon let
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350. the Pines family escape.
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351. They're inside Mabel's
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352. bubble as we speak.
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353. Mabel's bubble is
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354. the most diabolical trap
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355. I've ever created.
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356. It would take
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357. a will of titanium
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358. not to give into
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359. its temptations.
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360. Fetch me Gideon, and take
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361. the rest of the day off.
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362. Things just got
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363. a little more interesting.
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364. Even my stone skips
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365. are perfect.
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366. Who am I kidding?
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367. Maybe Mabel's right.
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368. It's a horror show
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369. out there.
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370. At least the air here
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371. is breathable.
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372. Dude, you're talking
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373. to a river.
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374. Oh, hey, Wendy.
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375. What's up?
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376. I thought you were busy
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377. wrecking the school or whatever.
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378. Yeah, that got
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379. old quick.
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380. And this music is really starting
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381. to get on my nerves.
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382. I think that stuff you said about
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383. this place is right.
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384. Really? Well, now
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385. we just need a plan.
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386. Don't worry. You always
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387. think of something.
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388. You know, you're so much
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389. smarter than, like, everyone else.
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390. It's kinda funny.
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391. If you were older,
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392. you'd be, like, my dream guy.
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393. Wait. Do you
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394. really mean that?
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395. Wait a minute.
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396. In this place, you can be
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397. any age you want.
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398. If we were the same age,
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399. maybe you and me could...
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400. I don't know...
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401. actually be together.
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402. Wait. Really?
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403. I bet if we asked Mabel,
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404. she could do it right now.
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405. In this place, it could finally
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406. be just you and me.
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407. Come on, man.
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408. Just take my hand.
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409. Wait.
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410. This isn't real!
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411. You shouldn't have
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412. done that, Dipper!
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413. We're watching you.
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414. There are
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415. eyes everywhere.
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416. - Hi, Dipper.
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417. - Hey, Dipper.
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418. - Hey, Dipper.
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419. Oh, my gosh.
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420. This is crazy.
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421. I'm losing my mind.
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422. We have to get
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423. out of here.
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424. We have to go back...
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425. to the real world!
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426. Hey!
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427. Under Article Smiley Face
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428. of Exhibit Squeaky Duck,
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429. you are hereby accused of
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430. breaking our one rule—
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431. mentioning reality.
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432. Prepare to be banished
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433. from this land forever!
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434. Mabel, you're
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435. smarter than this.
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436. Bill has you hypnotized
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437. or something.
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438. Are you really gonna
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439. let them banish me?
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440. No. Of course not.
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441. That's my brother, guys.
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442. There's gotta be
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443. another way.
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444. Very well.
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445. If Dipper wishes to stay,
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446. he must plead his case
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447. in the ultimate trial
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448. of Fantasy vs. Reality.
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449. Hey. Seriously?
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450. It was him.
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451. Oh!
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452. Seriously, Mabel?
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453. You're letting them
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454. take our argument to court?
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455. Hey, I didn't make
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456. the rules of Mabeland.
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457. Yes, you did. There's a tapestry
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458. of you making the rules.
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459. All rise for the Honorable Judge Kitty
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460. Kitty Meow Meow Face Schwartzstein.
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461. - Order, order.
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462. This trial begins
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463. right meow.
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464. Oh! Ha ha!
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465. Ahem. Judge?
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466. Sorry, sorry.
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467. We are here to try
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468. Dipper Pines
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469. in the case of
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470. Fantasy vs. Reality.
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471. If Dipper wins,
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472. Mabel will return with him
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473. to the real world.
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474. But if he loses,
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475. he will be banished forever,
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476. and replaced with
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477. town darling Dippy Fresh.
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478. Dippy, come on out.
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479. Flip-a-dip-dip.
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480. I hate him so much.
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481. The final decision
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482. will be made by
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483. a jury of your peers.
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484. Hi there.
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485. I love your headband.
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486. Shut your mouth.
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487. I love your headband.
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488. We're all wearing
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489. the same headband.
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490. Ha ha!
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491. Headband!
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492. Look, Mabel, this whole thing
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493. is ridiculous.
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494. But if winning a trial is what it takes
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495. to get you to come home with us,
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496. then so be it.
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497. I'm sorry, Dipper, but I can only
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498. speak through my legal team now.
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499. We have a doctorate degree
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500. in hunkiness.
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501. Also criminal
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502. and international law.
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503. Let's hear
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504. opening statements.
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505. Your Honor,
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506. townsfolk,
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507. lovely ladies
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508. of the jury.
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509. Oh, he's talking
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510. about us.
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511. That's lovely.
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512. My case is simple.
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513. This very unrighteous dude thinks
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514. that reality is better than fantasy.
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515. But reality is bogus,
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516. lame, and whack.
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517. Objection, Your Honor.
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518. That's conjecture.
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519. Meow-verruled!
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520. I'd like to show you
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521. this "reality"
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522. that Dipper loves so much.
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523. Show you how it has
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524. wronged my client, and Dipper,
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525. their entire lives.
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526. Exhibit "A."
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527. Mabel's scrapbook.
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528. Second grade,
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529. October 10.
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530. Photo day.
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531. Darn allergies.
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532. Boom! A million
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533. slap bracelets.
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534. I'm gonna have
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535. the best photo ever.
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536. And how do you like
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537. my new pigtails?
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538. Have fun, brat.
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539. You ruined my hair!
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540. Dipper, what do I do?
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541. Um, I... well...
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542. I don't...
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543. - Mabel!
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544. Mabel's fantasy was
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545. having a great school photo,
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546. but reality
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547. had other plans.
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548. Look, that was
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549. one bad day.
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550. One of many. February 14,
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551. fourth grade.
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552. - Valentine's Day.
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553. - Oh, come on, man. You can't...
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554. How many Valentines
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555. did you get, Dipper?
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556. Oh, hey,
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557. Dipper didn't get any.
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558. Oh, man, I thought
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559. I was the class loser.
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560. Hey, everyone,
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561. Dipstick didn't get any.
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562. I can't believe
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563. that kid's your brother.
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564. Hey, what's the point
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565. of all this?
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566. That was in the past.
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567. Is your life
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568. any better now, bro?
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569. Heartbreak, disaster,
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570. broken promises.
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571. That's reality for you.
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572. Out there,
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573. it's nothing but heartbreak.
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574. But in here,
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575. who wants pug sundaes?
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576. Hand me a microphone,
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577. Xyler.
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578. Totally
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579. righteous, bro.
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580. - Are we brothers?
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581. - I don't know.
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582. I think we're ready
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583. for a verdict.
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584. Wait! I haven't even
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585. presented my case.
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586. Do you even
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587. have a case?
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588. Yes, I do,
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589. Your Honor.
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590. I call as a witness
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591. Mabel Pines.
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592. Uh, objection?
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593. I'll allow it.
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594. Us cats are famously
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595. curious, meow meow.
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596. Mabel, listen.
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597. I might not have
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598. all the answers.
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599. I'm not stylish,
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600. and I'm not cool,
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601. and I can't make
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602. pugs appear out of thin air.
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603. - Boo!
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604. - Guilty!
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605. But I know one thing well,
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606. and that's you,
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607. and I know that even though
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608. you might act like it,
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609. you don't wanna be
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610. in this fantasy world.
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611. Uh... pssshh!
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612. Yeah, right.
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613. You're scared
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614. of growing up.
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615. And who could
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616. blame you?
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617. I'm scared, too.
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618. Uh... la la la la la la la!
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619. I'm not listening.
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620. Guards, the fingers.
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621. Look, real life
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622. stinks sometimes, okay?
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623. I'm not gonna lie.
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624. There's a better way
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625. to get through it than denial,
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626. and that's with help from
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627. people who care about you.
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628. It's how we've gotten
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629. through our whole lives.
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630. Just look.
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631. Mabel, I figured out a way
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632. to fix your photo.
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633. What? You have a wig?
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634. No, but I have a razor.
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635. You're crazy.
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636. We've always been there
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637. for each other.
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638. Mabel, I thought you were
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639. living a fantasy,
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640. but look at me.
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641. I actually thought I was
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642. gonna stay here
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643. and be Ford's apprentice.
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644. Spend my entire teens
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645. cooped up in a basement
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646. with a lab coat.
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647. How ridiculous is that?
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648. I don't know what's
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649. gonna happen in the future,
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650. but whatever it is,
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651. you don't have to fear,
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652. because we'll
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653. do it together.
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654. I'm not taking
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655. Ford's apprenticeship.
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656. We've traveled
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657. to heck and back to get you,
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658. and we're going back
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659. together.
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660. Leave this fantasy world.
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661. Let's beat Bill
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662. and grow up together.
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663. Order. Order in the court!
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664. Dang it, why is this hammer
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665. squeaking?
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666. You mean it?
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667. You're really
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668. coming home with me?
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669. Yes. Definitely.
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670. Absolutely.
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671. Awkward sibling hug?
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672. - Don't do it!
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673. You do this,
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674. and it's all over.
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675. Sincere sibling hug.
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676. Don't do the pats!
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677. Pat, pat.
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678. Oh, man.
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679. I never noticed
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680. how bright this place is.
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681. Ugh! Have I actually been
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682. listening to the same song
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683. - for an entire week?
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684. Whoa, time to calm you down.
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685. Uh, why isn't
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686. this working?
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687. Because your reign over
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688. this land is over!
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689. We gotta get outta here.
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690. Soos, Wendy,
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691. Paradise is cancelled.
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692. Everyone get on.
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693. Take us to freedom,
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694. Giant Waddles. Yeah!
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695. All right, guys,
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696. are you ready for this?
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697. Sorry, Mabeland.
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698. It's time to burst
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699. your bubble.
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700. Whoa.
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701. You all good?
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702. Everyone good?
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703. - We've missed you, Mabel.
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704. Hey, Dipper, I appreciate
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705. what you said back there.
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706. But if you wanna take
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707. Ford's apprenticeship,
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708. I won't get
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709. in your way.
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710. Pfft. Miss out on
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711. your awkward teen years?
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712. You wish.
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713. Man, I went nuts
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714. back there.
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715. I mean, come on, the real
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716. world can't be that bad, right?
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717. Oh, boy.
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718. Where is everyone?
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719. The town's deserted.
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720. Did Bill already win?
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721. Come on, guys. Let's see if we can
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722. go hide out in the shack.
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723. Yes! It's in shambles
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724. just like we left it.
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725. Oh, man, this is the first time I've
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726. ever felt happy going to work.
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727. Hello, house.
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728. Hello, porch.
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729. Hello, wads of gum
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730. I left stuck to the couch.
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731. Wait. What was that?
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732. Sh!
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733. Let's get 'em, dudes.
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734. Yah!
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735. - Stan?
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736. - Kids?
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737. Just so everyone knows,
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738. we're out of toilet paper.
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739. Did I miss something?
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740. Whoa, we survived.
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741. But where are we?
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742. Are we real?
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743. Is this reality?
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744. Jean-Paul Sartre
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745. postulated that
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746. every existing thing
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747. is born without reason,
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748. prolongs itself
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749. out of weakness,
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750. and dies by chance.
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751. Totally righteous,
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752. bro.
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753. I know!
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