1. Come on. Come on. Should be
just enough to finish the job.Copy !req
2. Phew! Can't be too careful
with this stuff.Copy !req
3. "Warning."Copy !req
4. Blah blah blah...Copy !req
5. "Extreme usage could result
in minor gravity anomalies."Copy !req
6. Can it, Poindexter.
I've come this far.Copy !req
7. I'm not giving up now.Copy !req
8. Yes, this is it!Copy !req
9. It's gonna be a bumpy ride,
but it'll all be worth it.Copy !req
10. Just eighteen more hours.Copy !req
11. Finally, everything changes...Copy !req
12. today.Copy !req
13. Aah! It's here!
It's here! It's here!Copy !req
14. Okay, so I was just opening
random doors, because I'm a creep,Copy !req
15. when I found
something amazing!Copy !req
16. If it was worth waking up at
7:00 am for, that will be amazing.Copy !req
17. Feast your eyes!Copy !req
18. Whoa!Copy !req
19. Bro. Bro.
We're both thinkin' it.Copy !req
20. Crazy rooftop
fireworks party!Copy !req
21. Not so fast, kids.Copy !req
22. There is no way on earth you're setting
off those dangerous, illegal fireworks...Copy !req
23. without me.Copy !req
24. Here you go, sweetie!Copy !req
25. Set something on fire for your
Grunkle Stan!Copy !req
26. I am the god
of destruction!Copy !req
27. Whoa!Copy !req
28. YaV! Whoo!Copy !req
29. Hold on a minute.
Do you have a permit for those?Copy !req
30. Uh...Copy !req
31. Uh, do you have a permit
for being totally lame?Copy !req
32. Hey-o!Copy !req
33. Well, I can't argue with that.Copy !req
34. Carry on.Copy !req
35. Ha ha!Copy !req
36. But seriously, though, we should
probably clean this mess up.Copy !req
37. With water balloons?Copy !req
38. I don't see why not.Copy !req
39. Seriously?Copy !req
40. Ow.
Whoa!Copy !req
41. Ah, this is what
Saturdays are for.Copy !req
42. Doing dumb things forever!Copy !req
43. Dumb things forever!Copy !req
44. Whoa, there!Copy !req
45. To Grunkle Stan!Copy !req
46. Not just a great uncle—Copy !req
47. The greatest uncle!Copy !req
48. Ha ha. All right,
all right. I tell ya,Copy !req
49. it's unnatural for siblings to
get along as well as you do.Copy !req
50. Ha ha! Don't worry, we've still
got plenty of summer leftCopy !req
51. to drive each other crazy.Copy !req
52. Heh... yeah...
plenty of summer left.Copy !req
53. Kids, there's something I, uh...
something I should tell you.Copy !req
54. It's, um... W-well, it's
complicated.Copy !req
55. I...Copy !req
56. I'm gonna go refresh my soda.Copy !req
57. Enjoy it while you can, Stan.Copy !req
58. They'll find out
sooner or later.Copy !req
59. Today's the day.Copy !req
60. What is that, a ladybug?Copy !req
61. What the—
Oh, no!Copy !req
62. Target's secure.
Take the house.Copy !req
63. What the...?Copy !req
64. Kids are secure.Copy !req
65. Roof team, go!Copy !req
66. Clear!Copy !req
67. Clear!Copy !req
68. Pig secure—we
have secured a pig.Copy !req
69. Hey, hands off, you stooge!Copy !req
70. Aah! I don't understand!Copy !req
71. What did I do that warrants
this much arresting?Copy !req
72. The government guys?Copy !req
73. I thought you
got eaten by zombies.Copy !req
74. We survived... barely.Copy !req
75. I used Trigger
as a human shield.Copy !req
76. He cried like a baby.Copy !req
77. Wha—hey!Copy !req
78. Not in front
of the special ops guys.Copy !req
79. This is security footage
of a government waste facility.Copy !req
80. At 0400 hours last night, someone robbed
300 gallons of dangerous waste.Copy !req
81. What? You think
that's me?Copy !req
82. Don't play dumb
with us, Pines!Copy !req
83. But I actually am dumb!
Last night I was restockingCopy !req
84. the gift shop... I swear!Copy !req
85. Wait, Grunkle Stan!Copy !req
86. You've got the wrong guy!
Our Grunkle Stan might shopliftCopy !req
87. the occasional tangerine,
but he's notsome evil supervillain.Copy !req
88. Listen, kid. We've been watching
your family all summer,Copy !req
89. and we've seen
some disturbing things,Copy !req
90. but nothing as dangerous
as what your uncle is hiding.Copy !req
91. Somewhere hidden in this
shack is a doomsday device!Copy !req
92. Trigger, you take
the children.Copy !req
93. I'll talk to the old man.
Sorry to break it to you, kids,Copy !req
94. but you don't know
your uncle at all.Copy !req
95. Icee pop, clear!
Hey!Copy !req
96. Kids! You gotta believe me!
For once I'm actually innocent!Copy !req
97. Kids!Copy !req
98. Ground team,
move move move!Copy !req
99. Break down the door!Copy !req
100. Or... maybe not.Copy !req
101. Stanford Pines, you stand accused
of theft of government waste,Copy !req
102. conspiracy, and possession
of illegal weapons.Copy !req
103. How do you plead
to these charges?Copy !req
104. Uh..."guiltoccent."
I mean, "innoguilty."Copy !req
105. Um... can I
have my phone call?Copy !req
106. Okay, give me whatever you
got that comes with a free toy.Copy !req
107. Soos!Copy !req
108. Mr. Pines? Is this some sort
of possession situation?Copy !req
109. Soos, pick up!Copy !req
110. Mr. Pines,
what happened?Copy !req
111. I heard you got arrested
or something?Copy !req
112. I had to go get
some panic food.Copy !req
113. Listen, I need
something from you.Copy !req
114. You know that vending machine
in the gift shop?Copy !req
115. I need you to guard it
with your life.Copy !req
116. No matter what happens,
no matter who talks to you,Copy !req
117. don't let them touch
that machine!Copy !req
118. Time for a repair guy...
to become a repair man.Copy !req
119. Sir, your Junior Yum-Yum
Baby-Time Kiddo Meal?Copy !req
120. Just put one in my mouth.Copy !req
121. Let's do this.Copy !req
122. We've got Mr. Pines
in custody.Copy !req
123. Our men are searching
the shack for that device.Copy !req
124. You take care
of those kids.Copy !req
125. What are you gonna do to us?Copy !req
126. - We'll be taking you to child services.
- Boo!Copy !req
127. In the meantime, enjoy
some mindless reality TV...Copy !req
128. designed to pacify you and make
you stop asking questions.Copy !req
129. I'm about to make
the incision.Copy !req
130. Ker-prank!
Aah!Copy !req
131. You're watching Ker-Frank's!
with Justin Ker-Prank.Copy !req
132. Dipper, this is crazy.Copy !req
133. There's no way Stan was
stealing hazardous waste.Copy !req
134. We gotta clear his name!Copy !req
135. Hmm...Copy !req
136. Wait a minute,
the security tapes!Copy !req
137. Didn't Stan say he was restocking
the gift shop last night?Copy !req
138. If we could get the Mystery Shack's
surveillance tapes,Copy !req
139. we could prove
he's innocent!Copy !req
140. We just need to think
of a way out of here.Copy !req
141. Think, Mabel. Think.Copy !req
142. Oh oh oh aah!Copy !req
143. Aah!
Aah!Copy !req
144. Mayday, mayday!
Agent down!Copy !req
145. Uhh! Darn branch!Copy !req
146. H "hm.
a haw Yes!Copy !req
147. Backup! Requesting
backup! Aah!Copy !req
148. Come on, Dipper. We're gonna go
clear our uncle's name.Copy !req
149. Oh, you poor kids. You really think
your uncle's innocent?Copy !req
150. I've seen it all before.
False names, double lives.Copy !req
151. One minute, they're playing
with water balloons.Copy !req
152. The next, they're building
doomsday devices.Copy !req
153. Your uncle scammed
the whole world.Copy !req
154. You gonna let him
scam you, too?Copy !req
155. You—you don't know
what you're talking about.Copy !req
156. You're gonna regret this!Copy !req
157. Only five more hours
till it happens.Copy !req
158. I gotta be there!
Come on, Stan,Copy !req
159. you gotta think
of a way out of this.Copy !req
160. Think!
Think!Copy !req
161. Huh?Copy !req
162. They're getting stronger!Copy !req
163. Of course, that's it!Copy !req
164. H-hey! Whoa!Copy !req
165. Is it just me, or did the entire
world just hiccup?Copy !req
166. I'm sure it's just
a baby-sized earthquake.Copy !req
167. Aww, baby-sized!Copy !req
168. It's happening!
The end times!Copy !req
169. When that machine activates,
I gotta get outta town!Copy !req
170. Git in there,
raccoon wife, git!Copy !req
171. Eh?Copy !req
172. All right,
here's the plan.Copy !req
173. I'll take out
those two guard guys,Copy !req
174. you karate-chop the other dude
in the neck,Copy !req
175. and then we'll back-flip
through the front door!Copy !req
176. Mabel, aren't you forgetting
the simpler solution?Copy !req
177. On, right.Copy !req
178. So is it a rock,
or is it a face?Copy !req
179. I think...
it's a metaphor.Copy !req
180. All right.
If I was Stan,Copy !req
181. where would I hide
those surveillance tapes?Copy !req
182. Wait! The Antelabbit!Copy !req
183. Don't you mean
"jackalope"?Copy !req
184. Pfft!
That can't be right.Copy !req
185. Yes!
Yes!Copy !req
186. It's this week!
This is it!Copy !req
187. Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!Copy !req
188. Someone yelled "Wormy Dance."
We had to!Copy !req
189. Fast-forward.Copy !req
190. Ha! There it is!
Stan restocking, like he said.Copy !req
191. And the date shows
it was last night!Copy !req
192. It's proof!
He's innocent!Copy !req
193. Uh-oh.Copy !req
194. Uh, maybe he's just going
to the bathroom outdoors,Copy !req
195. the way nature intended.Copy !req
196. Oh, no.
Stan, you didn't!Copy !req
197. Don't panic. That could be
anyone in that suit.Copy !req
198. Aah! Hot Belgian waffles!Copy !req
199. Wait, I'm alone. I can swear
for real! Son-of-a—Copy !req
200. That's him, all right.Copy !req
201. Okay, okay. So maybe Grunkle Stan
stole some toxic waste.Copy !req
202. That doesn't mean he's leading
a nefarious double life.Copy !req
203. Mabel,
I'm not so sure about that.Copy !req
204. What?
What is all this?Copy !req
205. Stetson Pinefield?Copy !req
206. Hal Forrester?
Andrew "8-Ball" Alcatraz?Copy !req
207. These are fake IDs, Mabel!Copy !req
208. You wouldn't need these unless you
were trying to hide your real identity.Copy !req
209. But why would Stan
do that?Copy !req
210. What?Copy !req
211. "Stan Pines Dead"?Copy !req
212. "Foul play suspected
in Pines' death."Copy !req
213. "Fiery car crash,
brakes cut..." By who?Copy !req
214. "Unnamed grifter
at large"?Copy !req
215. Why would they call him
"unnamed"?Copy !req
216. Unless Stan...Copy !req
217. isn't...Copy !req
218. "Stan?
Stan?Copy !req
219. Stan Pines is dead?Copy !req
220. Then who have we
been living with?Copy !req
221. It doesn't make
any sense!Copy !req
222. There has to be
some explanation.Copy !req
223. Maybe we're getting
Ker-Pranked!Copy !req
224. Justin Ker-Prank
is gonna jump upCopy !req
225. from behind one of these plants,
any minute now!Copy !req
226. Any minute, Justin.Copy !req
227. Can't believe it! This whole summer
I've beenlooking for answers,Copy !req
228. and the biggest mystery
was right under our nose.Copy !req
229. There's gotta be some kind
of explanation in here, somewhere.Copy !req
230. What the—?Copy !req
231. "Secret Code to Hideout"?Copy !req
232. Let me see that!Copy !req
233. A1, B, C3...Copy !req
234. I've never seen
a code like this.Copy !req
235. Wait, I have!Copy !req
236. Dipper,
it's the vending machine!Copy !req
237. All right, Pines.
Play time is over.Copy !req
238. Chopper's ready
to dust off to Washington.Copy !req
239. I'll enjoy
putting you away.Copy !req
240. What? Um, can't we stick
around for maybe one minute,Copy !req
241. uh, one minute,
thirty seconds?Copy !req
242. We're not falling
for your games, Pines.Copy !req
243. You've been running
your whole life.Copy !req
244. Your time is finally up.Copy !req
245. Bathroom break?
Just gimme 15 seconds.Copy !req
246. Sorry, but you've got
a flight to catch.Copy !req
247. 0h. yeah?
so do you!Copy !req
248. Huh?Copy !req
249. Whoa, whoa, hey!Copy !req
250. Aah!Copy !req
251. Hey!
Dang it, get back here!Copy !req
252. Men, get him!Copy !req
253. No! You won't
get away with this! Aah!Copy !req
254. 'Gonna get 'Aah!
Va! G om“ get Va!Copy !req
255. Ow!Copy !req
256. Whoa!Copy !req
257. You know where
the Mystery Shack is?Copy !req
258. Uh, yeah.Copy !req
259. Okay,
here's a hundred bucks.Copy !req
260. Drive as far away
from the Shack as possible,Copy !req
261. and don't stop when the cops
start chasing you!Copy !req
262. He's getting away!Copy !req
263. Obviously,
follow that cab!Copy !req
264. Stanford escaped!
He's at large!Copy !req
265. We need to sweep the town!
Move, move, move!Copy !req
266. All right, Soos,
remember the plan.Copy !req
267. Protect the machine,
earn Stan's trust,Copy !req
268. legally get adopted by Stan,
change name to Stan Junior.Copy !req
269. Soos!
Aah!Copy !req
270. Oh, kids,
where have you been?Copy !req
271. W-What are you doing here?Copy !req
272. Stan gave me a mission
to protect this machine.Copy !req
273. Ha! And I thought
I loved snacks!Copy !req
274. Soos, listen. Something huge
is going on here.Copy !req
275. If Stan is hiding
some dangerous secret,Copy !req
276. we need to find out
what it is!Copy !req
277. I need you
to step aside.Copy !req
278. Yeah, just let us through so we can prove
this is all just a big misunderstanding.Copy !req
279. Guys, I know this seems crazy, but I promised
Stan I would guard this with my life.Copy !req
280. I'm sorry, Soos.Copy !req
281. Aah! Attack glitter!
It's pretty, but it hurts!Copy !req
282. Please, Soos!
C'mon, Soos!Copy !req
283. Aw, c'mon, I don't wanna
fight you guys!Copy !req
284. This hurts me
more than it hurts you!Copy !req
285. Aah!Copy !req
286. Seriously, it hurts me
way more than it hurts you.Copy !req
287. Aah!Copy !req
288. Ohh...Copy !req
289. It's like something
from a video game.Copy !req
290. Or a dream.Copy !req
291. Or a nightmare.Copy !req
292. I gotta be there
when it happens! Aah!Copy !req
293. Guys, are we dreaming?
Somebody wake me up.Copy !req
294. This... can't be real.Copy !req
295. I don't understand. Why would
Mr. Pines have all this?Copy !req
296. It's just like
that bunker in the woods.Copy !req
297. But what is it doing
underneath the Mystery Shack?Copy !req
298. Okay, okay, so he's got a huge,
gigantic lab.Copy !req
299. That doesn't mean
anything bad.Copy !req
300. Everyone's got secrets!Copy !req
301. It's still Stan,
and he loves us.Copy !req
302. And we love him,
right?Copy !req
303. Can't be...
it's impossible.Copy !req
304. The other two journals?Copy !req
305. All this time, all this time,
Stan had them!Copy !req
306. I can't believe it!
Was anything he said to us real?Copy !req
307. Why would he have
those journals?Copy !req
308. Maybe he's the author.Copy !req
309. Or maybe he stole them
from the author!Copy !req
310. Maybe the reason he has
all of those fake IDsCopy !req
311. is because he is
a master criminal,Copy !req
312. and this machine
is his master plan!Copy !req
313. Whoa!Copy !req
314. "I was wrong the whole time."Copy !req
315. "The machine was meant to create
knowledge, but it is too powerful!"Copy !req
316. "I was deceived,
and now it is too late!"Copy !req
317. "The device,
if fully operational,Copy !req
318. "could tear our universe apart!"Copy !req
319. "It must not fall
into the wrong hands.Copy !req
320. "If the clock ever reaches zero,
our universe is doomed."Copy !req
321. It's the final countdown!
Just like they always sung about!Copy !req
322. The agents were right!
We have to shut it down!Copy !req
323. There! Quick!Copy !req
324. Turn these! Together!Copy !req
325. That's it!
The shutdown switch!Copy !req
326. This all stops now!Copy !req
327. Don't touch that button!Copy !req
328. Dipper, just back away.Copy !req
329. Please don't press that shutdown
button. You gotta trust me.Copy !req
330. And I should trust you, why?Copy !req
331. After you stole
radioactive waste,Copy !req
332. after you lied to us
all summer!Copy !req
333. I don't even know
who you are!Copy !req
334. Look, I know this
all seems nuts,Copy !req
335. but I need that machine
to stay on.Copy !req
336. If you just
let me explain—Copy !req
337. Oh! Oh, no! Brace yourselves!Copy !req
338. Whoa, whoa, whoa!Copy !req
339. Aah!Copy !req
340. T-minus 35 seconds.Copy !req
341. Whoa, whoa, whoa!Copy !req
342. Whoa, aah!Copy !req
343. Dipper!Copy !req
344. Mabel! Hurry!
Shut it down!Copy !req
345. [[511Copy !req
346. Mabel, Mabel, wait!Copy !req
347. 5120p! Uhh!Copy !req
348. Soos, what are you doing?
I gave you an order!Copy !req
349. Sorry, Mr. Pines,
if that is your real name,Copy !req
350. but I have a new mission now,
protecting these kids!Copy !req
351. Soos, you idiot,
let me go!Copy !req
352. Let me go!
C'mon!Copy !req
353. Mabel, press
the red button!Copy !req
354. - Shut it down!
- No, you can't! You gotta trust me!Copy !req
355. Grunkle Stan, I don't even know
if you're my Grunkle!Copy !req
356. I wanna believe you,
but—Copy !req
357. Then listen to me.
Remember this morning,Copy !req
358. when I said I wanted
to tell you guys something?Copy !req
359. T-minus 20 seconds.Copy !req
360. I wanted to say that you're gonna hear
some bad things about me,Copy !req
361. and some of 'em are true, but trust
me, everything I've worked for,Copy !req
362. everything I care about,
it's all for this family.Copy !req
363. Mabel,
what if he's lying?Copy !req
364. This thing could destroy
the universe! Listen to your head!Copy !req
365. Look into my eyes, Mabel!Copy !req
366. You really think
I'm a bad guy?Copy !req
367. He's lying!
Shut it down, now!Copy !req
368. Mabel, please!Copy !req
369. Ten, nine...Copy !req
370. Grunkle Stan...Copy !req
371. Six, five...Copy !req
372. I trust you.Copy !req
373. Mabel, are you crazy?
We're all gonna—Copy !req
374. One.Copy !req
375. [[511Copy !req
376. Aah!Copy !req
377. Aah!Copy !req
378. Aah!Copy !req
379. W-What?
Who is that?Copy !req
380. The author
of the journals.Copy !req
381. My brother!Copy !req
382. Is this the part
where one of us faints?Copy !req
383. Oh, I am so on it, dude.Copy !req