1. I like to get my
Christmas shopping done early.Copy !req
2. Do you have anything
that's in the spirit of the season?Copy !req
3. Uh... How about these crystals?Copy !req
4. That looks like broken glass.Copy !req
5. What are you, a cop?Copy !req
6. Oh! What is that new thing?Copy !req
7. Grunkle Stan?Copy !req
8. Can we go to the diner?Copy !req
9. We're hungry!Copy !req
10. Hungry!Copy !req
11. Yeah, sure. Soon as this yahoo
makes up his mind.Copy !req
12. Do you have this in another animal?Copy !req
13. I'm fine locking him inside, if you are.Copy !req
14. Puma shirt, panther shirt.Copy !req
15. Puma shirt, panther shirt.Copy !req
16. Puma shirt...Copy !req
17. Panther shirt!Copy !req
18. Shoo! Git!Copy !req
19. Coffee. Coffee. Coffee. Coffee.Copy !req
20. Go! Go! Go! Go!Copy !req
21. Lazy Susan,
there's my little ray of sunshine.Copy !req
22. Where were you yesterday?Copy !req
23. I got hit by a bus.Copy !req
24. Hilarious!Copy !req
25. Thank you!Copy !req
26. You do split plates, right?Copy !req
27. Maybe! Wink!Copy !req
28. Great! We'll all split
a one-fourth of the Number Seven,Copy !req
29. plus a free salad dressing for the lady,
and a small plate of ketchup for the boy.Copy !req
30. But, Grunkle Stan, I want pancakes!Copy !req
31. With the fancy flour
they use these days?Copy !req
32. What am I, made of money? Tap-tap.Copy !req
33. Aw...Copy !req
34. Don't worry, guys, pancakes are on me!Copy !req
35. I'm gonna win some by beating
that manliness tester.Copy !req
36. "Manliness tester?"Copy !req
37. "Beating?"Copy !req
38. He says... He says he's...Copy !req
39. What? What's so funny?Copy !req
40. Oh, no offense, Dipper,Copy !req
41. but you're not exactly
Manly Mannington.Copy !req
42. Hey! I am too Manly Manny...
Or whatever it is you said!Copy !req
43. Look, face the music, kid.Copy !req
44. You got no muscles,
you smell like baby wipes.Copy !req
45. And let's not forget
last Tuesday's incident.Copy !req
46. Disco girl, coming throughCopy !req
47. That girl is youCopy !req
48. Don't come in, don't come in!Copy !req
49. You were listening to girly,
Icelandic pop sensation Babba?Copy !req
50. No!
I wasn't... It's not important!Copy !req
51. Look, come on, guys,
I'm plenty masculine.Copy !req
52. You see this chest hair?Copy !req
53. - Put it away! Put it away!
- So smooth! My eyes!Copy !req
54. Oh, man!Copy !req
55. Fine, family-of-little-faith!
Get ready to eat your words!Copy !req
56. And a plate of delicious pancakes.Copy !req
57. All right, Dipper.
Time to manhandle this man-handle.Copy !req
58. And a one, and a two...Copy !req
59. Quit stalling!Copy !req
60. Aw, what?Copy !req
61. This thing must be broken!Copy !req
62. It's totally broken, guys!
It's like a million years old.Copy !req
63. Probably ran out of steam power, or...Copy !req
64. It's rickety, man. You shouldn't even...Copy !req
65. Yeah! Pancakes for everyone!Copy !req
66. I need to get some chest hair, and fast.Copy !req
67. I'm fine!
Everything's fine.Copy !req
68. Yeesh! How am I related to that?Copy !req
69. Come on, Grunkle Stan. I'm sure
deep down you have a soft side, too.Copy !req
70. Ha! Nothing in here but a cold,
dark, empty soul.Copy !req
71. Food!Copy !req
72. Thanks, there, sugar pot.
I mean, honey wasp.Copy !req
73. Kitten baby. Baby, baby cow...Copy !req
74. Silly! Silly man.Copy !req
75. What was that about?Copy !req
76. Nothing. I don't want to talk about it.
Talk about what? Why is this table wet?Copy !req
77. Wait just a second.Copy !req
78. I think I have
an idea happening here. You...Copy !req
79. - No!
- And her...Copy !req
80. - Stop it!
- Oh!Copy !req
81. - Oh, boy.
- You have a thing for Lazy Susan!Copy !req
82. You do have a soft side!Copy !req
83. But... Keep it down, will you?
All right, I admit it, okay?Copy !req
84. It would be nice if she liked me.Copy !req
85. But I've been
out of the game for so long,Copy !req
86. I wouldn't know where to start!Copy !req
87. I mean, look at her! She's so classy.Copy !req
88. Spin, you dumb pies, spin!Copy !req
89. Grunkle Stan, you are
a cranky, gross, weird old man.Copy !req
90. But we will get Lazy Susan to like youCopy !req
91. because nothing is stronger
than the power of...Copy !req
92. - Love?
- Mabel.Copy !req
93. To victory!Copy !req
94. "Not manly enough."
Stupid diner. Stupid lumberjack.Copy !req
95. Another hydrant destroyed!
It's a gosh-danged mystery.Copy !req
96. Wanna take off our uniforms
and run around in circles?Copy !req
97. Quit reading my mind.Copy !req
98. Oh! I'm sorry,
I was looking for the mailman.Copy !req
99. Oh! What, are you saying
I'm not a "male" man?Copy !req
100. Is that what you're trying to say?Copy !req
101. I'm not male? I'm... I'm not a man?
Is that... Is that what you're getting at?Copy !req
102. Are you crying?Copy !req
103. Two,Copy !req
104. three,Copy !req
105. four...Copy !req
106. No chest hair yet.Copy !req
107. Is it physical? Is it mental?
What's the secret?Copy !req
108. You said it, brother! I need help.Copy !req
109. For the love of all that's holy, run!Copy !req
110. Wait, sorry.Copy !req
111. Aah!Copy !req
112. Please don't eat me!
I haven't showered in, like, a week.Copy !req
113. And I'm... I'm, like, all elbows!
Elbows and gristle!Copy !req
114. YouCopy !req
115. gonna finish that?Copy !req
116. No.Copy !req
117. Can't believe it.
Part animal, part human.Copy !req
118. Are you some kind of minotaur?Copy !req
119. I'm a manotaur! Half man, half, uh...Copy !req
120. Half taur!Copy !req
121. So did I, like, summon you or...Copy !req
122. The smell of jerky
summoned me! Jerky!Copy !req
123. I smellCopy !req
124. emotional issues.Copy !req
125. I got problems, manotaur.
Man-related problems.Copy !req
126. - Well, my own uncle called me a wimp.
- Uh-huh. Uh-huh.Copy !req
127. And I kind of flunked
this manliness video game thing.Copy !req
128. Mmm...Copy !req
129. Hey! You know, you seem pretty manly.Copy !req
130. Maybe you could
give me some pointers?Copy !req
131. Hmm. Very well!
Climb atop my back hair, child!Copy !req
132. Uh... Okay.Copy !req
133. Yes! Yes!Copy !req
134. Dude, watch out!Copy !req
135. Whoa!Copy !req
136. This place is amazing!Copy !req
137. The gnomes live in the trees,Copy !req
138. the mer-people live in the water,
'cause they're losers!Copy !req
139. But we manotaurs
crash in the man cave!Copy !req
140. Beasts! I have brought
you a hairless child!Copy !req
141. - 'Sup.
- Huh?Copy !req
142. This is Pubertor, Testosteraur, Pituitor.Copy !req
143. And I'm Chutzpar. And you are?Copy !req
144. My name's Dipper.Copy !req
145. Weak!Copy !req
146. The, uh, Destructor?Copy !req
147. - Yeah, that's better.
- Yeah.Copy !req
148. Dipper the Destructor wants us to
teach him the secrets to our manliness!Copy !req
149. I need your help.
Look at this, guys. Look at this!Copy !req
150. I must confer with the high council.Copy !req
151. So, teach him our man secrets or what?Copy !req
152. He's a human! I don't like him.Copy !req
153. I don't like your face!Copy !req
154. I like these guys.Copy !req
155. Okay, Grunkle Stan! Welcome to the
first day of whatever is left of your life!Copy !req
156. First, a "before" picture.Copy !req
157. I never miss a scrap-book-or-tunity!Copy !req
158. Diddlydum... MemoriesCopy !req
159. Bleep. Let's start out
with some role-playing.Copy !req
160. Soos will play Lazy Susan.Copy !req
161. I'm soft, like a woman.Copy !req
162. Grunkle Stan, show me
how you approach a woman.Copy !req
163. Remember, this is a safe,
non-judgmental environment.Copy !req
164. I'll just be right off to the side,
judging you on a scale from one to ten.Copy !req
165. Can I borrow some money?Copy !req
166. This is going to
be harder than I thought.Copy !req
167. After a lot of punching, we have decidedCopy !req
168. to deny your request
to learn our manly secrets.Copy !req
169. Denied!Copy !req
170. Denied?Copy !req
171. Okay. Fine. That's okay with me.Copy !req
172. Obviously you guys think
it would be too hard to train me!Copy !req
173. Maybe you're not man enough to try!Copy !req
174. Huh?Copy !req
175. Not man enough?Copy !req
176. Destructor...Copy !req
177. Not man enough?Copy !req
178. He didn't mean it.Copy !req
179. I have three Y chromosomes,
six Adam's apples,Copy !req
180. pecs on my abs and fists for nipples!Copy !req
181. Seems to me you're scared
to teach me how to be a man.Copy !req
182. Hey, do you guys hear that?
It sounds like...Copy !req
183. Oh, that's weird...Copy !req
184. Is that...Copy !req
185. That sounds like...
Yeah, a bunch of chickens.Copy !req
186. I feel all weird.Copy !req
187. He's using some sort of brain magic.Copy !req
188. After a second round of deliberation,Copy !req
189. we have decided
to help you become a man!Copy !req
190. Man! Man! Man! Man! Man!Copy !req
191. Great! Thanks, guys.
Whatever it is, I will not let you down.Copy !req
192. Being a man is about
conquering your fears!Copy !req
193. For your first man-task, you must
plunge your fist into the pain hole!Copy !req
194. The what?Copy !req
195. Pain hole, shmain hole...Copy !req
196. Are you sure this is really necessary?Copy !req
197. You want to be a man, don't you?Copy !req
198. Man! Man! Man! Man! Man! Man!Copy !req
199. All right, let's try to get
that inner beauty on the outside!Copy !req
200. Smile harder.Copy !req
201. Harder.Copy !req
202. Perfect. Soos!Copy !req
203. - 'Sup, hambone?
- What do you think?Copy !req
204. This is going to take
some really great training music.Copy !req
205. When a tiger roarsCopy !req
206. And the mountain criesCopy !req
207. You gotta dream the dream
You gotta win the prizeCopy !req
208. You're gonna go the miles
You're gonna face the trialsCopy !req
209. Never miss out on the sights to see
You gotta believe your beliefs are realCopy !req
210. Now you're drinking from a fire hydrantCopy !req
211. Teach your uncle how to wear
a cummerbundCopy !req
212. Now you're gonna jump a crazy gorgeCopy !req
213. Keep on shaving that hairy uncleCopy !req
214. Uh...Copy !req
215. I don't really know
what's happening in this partCopy !req
216. Yeow!Copy !req
217. Your heart's on fire
and the fire is in your heartCopy !req
218. Who wants to rub this on my back?Copy !req
219. Guys, I just wanna say
that these last few hours have been...Copy !req
220. I feel like there's
really been some growth.Copy !req
221. I have a growth!Copy !req
222. Glurk, you are hilarious today!Copy !req
223. It's just, you guys
took me under your wingCopy !req
224. and have just been so supportive.Copy !req
225. Oh, stop.Copy !req
226. No, you know what?
You really have been.Copy !req
227. I feel like I'm finally
becoming a man here.Copy !req
228. Not yet, Destructor!
One final task remains...Copy !req
229. - Hey, quit it!
- You quit it!Copy !req
230. The deadliest trial of all!Copy !req
231. I've survived 49 other trials.
Whatever it is, bring it on!Copy !req
232. Yeah!Copy !req
233. Behold our leader, Leaderar!Copy !req
234. Is he, like, the oldest or wisest or...Copy !req
235. Greetings, young...Copy !req
236. Nah, he's just the offering.
That is Leaderar!Copy !req
237. You! You wish to be man?Copy !req
238. Yeah!Copy !req
239. Then you must do heroic act.
Go to highest mountain.Copy !req
240. And bring back head of the Multi-Bear!Copy !req
241. The "Multi-Bear"?
Is that some sort of bear?Copy !req
242. He's our sworn enemy!Copy !req
243. Conquer him, and your mansformation
will be complete.Copy !req
244. Conquer? I don't know, man.Copy !req
245. Destructor, is this yours?Copy !req
246. Uh, no! I don't know whose that is.Copy !req
247. I was just borrowing it.
It's friend's, not mine.Copy !req
248. I don't know about this.Copy !req
249. Uh...Copy !req
250. Hmm.Copy !req
251. I shall conquer the Multi-Bear!Copy !req
252. I'm okay.Copy !req
253. I'm coming for you, Multi-Bear.Copy !req
254. Okay, Grunkle Stan.
You started like this, but you became...Copy !req
255. Can I scratch myself now?Copy !req
256. No! No, no, no!
Is that throw-up on your shirt?Copy !req
257. I don't know how to answer that.Copy !req
258. Face it, Mabel, your uncle's unfixable.Copy !req
259. Like that spinning
pie trolley-thing in the diner.Copy !req
260. Grunkle Stan, come with me.Copy !req
261. And leave your pants at home!Copy !req
262. With pleasure!Copy !req
263. What is a Multi-Bear?Copy !req
264. Oh, that's a Multi-Bear.Copy !req
265. Bear heads. Silence!Copy !req
266. Child, why have you come here?Copy !req
267. Multi-Bear, I seek your head!
Or one of them, anyway.Copy !req
268. There's like, what, six? Six heads?Copy !req
269. This is foolish! Leave now or die!Copy !req
270. So be it!Copy !req
271. Ha!Copy !req
272. A real man shows no mercy!Copy !req
273. Very well, warrior.Copy !req
274. But will you grant a magical beast
one last request?Copy !req
275. Uh... Okay.Copy !req
276. I wish to die
listening to my favorite song.Copy !req
277. Tape is already in there.
You could just hit any...Copy !req
278. Yeah, yeah, that's it. Press and hold.Copy !req
279. Disco girl coming through
That girl is you...Copy !req
280. You listen to Icelandic pop group
Babba? I love Babba.Copy !req
281. I thought I was the only one.Copy !req
282. All the manotaurs make fun of meCopy !req
283. because I know all the words
to the song Disco Girl.Copy !req
284. Oh, you mean...Copy !req
285. Disco girlCopy !req
286. Coming throughCopy !req
287. That girl is youCopy !req
288. Ooh oohCopy !req
289. Oh! This is crazy. Finally, someone
who understands...Copy !req
290. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
291. I guess I'm supposed to kill you?
Or I'll never be a man?Copy !req
292. I accept my fate.Copy !req
293. No. Really?Copy !req
294. It's for the best.Copy !req
295. I'm not gonna do it!Copy !req
296. You were told the price of manhood
is the Multi-Bear's head!Copy !req
297. Listen, Leaderar, all right?
You, too, Testosteraur, Pituitor, and...Copy !req
298. I don't know, whatever your name is,
Beardy.Copy !req
299. It's Beardy.Copy !req
300. You keep telling me that being a man
means doing all these tasks,Copy !req
301. and being aggro all the time.Copy !req
302. But I'm starting to think
that stuff's malarkey!Copy !req
303. You heard me! Malarkey!Copy !req
304. So maybe I don't have muscles,
or hair in certain places.Copy !req
305. And sure, when a girly pop song comes
on the radio sometimes I leave it on.Copy !req
306. 'Cause dang it, Top 40 hitsCopy !req
307. are in the Top 40 for a reason!
They're catchy!Copy !req
308. Destructor! What are you saying?Copy !req
309. I'm saying the Multi-Bear
is a really nice guy.Copy !req
310. And you're a bunch of jerks
if you want me to cut off his head!Copy !req
311. Kill the Multi-Bear or never be a man!Copy !req
312. Then I guess I will never be a man.Copy !req
313. Weak!Copy !req
314. Lame!Copy !req
315. Hey, guys. Who wants to go
build something and knock it down?Copy !req
316. Man! Man! Man! Man!
Man! Man! Man! Man!Copy !req
317. Spin, spin.Copy !req
318. Lazy Susan. Listen,
I know he's not much to look at,Copy !req
319. but you're always
fixing stuff in the diner.Copy !req
320. And if you like fixing stuff,Copy !req
321. nothing could use more fixing
than my Grunkle Stan.Copy !req
322. Also, women live longer than men,
so your dating pool is smaller,Copy !req
323. and you should really
lower your standards.Copy !req
324. So, Lazy Susan.
What do you say?Copy !req
325. Hey. Here's my number.Copy !req
326. Why don't you
give me a call sometime?Copy !req
327. - Really?
- Really!Copy !req
328. Also, here's some pie.
On the house. For you.Copy !req
329. We did it! When are you going to call?
You want to call now?Copy !req
330. I don't have a phone. Let's buy a phone.Copy !req
331. We can put it on a credit card.
Let's get a credit card.Copy !req
332. Mabel! Let a man enjoy his pie, huh?Copy !req
333. Dipper! It's me, Mabel!
I'm looking at you through the glass!Copy !req
334. Right here. This is my voice!
I'm talking to you from inside!Copy !req
335. - Did you see me through the...
- Yes.Copy !req
336. What's wrong?Copy !req
337. - I don't want to talk about it.
- Good.Copy !req
338. It's just these half-man,
half-bull humanoidsCopy !req
339. - were hanging out with me...
- Here we go.Copy !req
340. But then they wanted me to do
this really tough, horrible thing,Copy !req
341. but it just wasn't right. So I said no.Copy !req
342. You were your own man
and you stood up for yourself.Copy !req
343. - Huh?>?
- You did what was right,Copy !req
344. even though no one agreed with you.Copy !req
345. Sounds pretty manly to me.
But what do I know?Copy !req
346. Wait a minute.
Do my eyes deceive me?Copy !req
347. You have a chest hair!Copy !req
348. You're right! I do!Copy !req
349. This is amazing! I really do!Copy !req
350. Take that, man tester!
Take that, Pituitor!Copy !req
351. - Pituitor?
- This guy has chest hair!Copy !req
352. Scrap-book-or-tunity!Copy !req
353. Don't worry, Kid.
If you're anything like me,Copy !req
354. there's more where that came from.Copy !req
355. Oh, gross!Copy !req
356. Seriously, that's disgusting.Copy !req
357. Oh, not again!Copy !req
358. Message number 36.Copy !req
359. Hey, handsome.
It's me Lazy Susan, calling to say hi.Copy !req
360. Hi! My cats also wanted to say hi.Copy !req
361. Say hi, Donald.Copy !req
362. Good. Sandy, you say hi.Copy !req
363. Mr. Catface, now it's your turn to say...Copy !req
364. Mr. Catface?Copy !req
365. Anyway, call me! Call me back!Copy !req
366. How do I get out of this?Copy !req