1. In this land of ours,
there are many great pits,Copy !req
2. but none more bottomless
than the Bottomless Pit,Copy !req
3. which as you can see here,
is bottomless.Copy !req
4. Question. Is it bottomless?Copy !req
5. Kids, could one of you
try explaining this to Soos?Copy !req
6. Grunkle Stan, why are we here, again?Copy !req
7. To dispose of things that we don't want.Copy !req
8. So long,
Mystery Shack suggestion cards.Copy !req
9. Goodbye, creepy love letters
from Lil Gideon.Copy !req
10. Die! Die!Copy !req
11. What are you doing?Copy !req
12. Throwing stuff, dude.
Everyone's doing it!Copy !req
13. What you got there, Mabel?Copy !req
14. It's just my personal box
of mysterious secrets.Copy !req
15. Nothing worth wondering about!Copy !req
16. Goodbye forever!Copy !req
17. Grunkle Stan, do I really have to be
the one to point outCopy !req
18. that a bottomless pit is,
by definition, impossible?Copy !req
19. Says you!Copy !req
20. Well, I guess we'll never know.Copy !req
21. Aah! It's some sort of invisible
pushing force!Copy !req
22. Quick! Everyone back to the Shack!Copy !req
23. I'm not done getting rid of these yet!Copy !req
24. Grunkle Stan! No!Copy !req
25. Almost. Almost. Almost.Copy !req
26. So, anyone wanna scream some more?Copy !req
27. Where are we?Copy !req
28. We're somewhere
where it looks like we're nowhere.Copy !req
29. We're gonna land
on something eventually.Copy !req
30. Could be any second now!Copy !req
31. Well, it looks like we're down here
for the long haul.Copy !req
32. Who wants to see some card tricks?Copy !req
33. Ta-da!Copy !req
34. Hey! Maybe we should pass the time
by tellin' stories.Copy !req
35. I've got a story!Copy !req
36. It's called the time Grunkle Stan got
us all thrown into a bottomless pit,Copy !req
37. where we spent
the rest of our natural lives!Copy !req
38. Go on.Copy !req
39. Come on, Dipper,
you can do better than that.Copy !req
40. Fine. I'll tell you a story.Copy !req
41. A story I'd like to call, "Voice Over."Copy !req
42. Ready?Copy !req
43. Spin the pig!Copy !req
44. Whoo!Copy !req
45. Hey, Grunkle Stan,
ever kissed a pig before?Copy !req
46. I'm not gonna answer that question.Copy !req
47. Guys! Guys!
I think I just got bit by a snake!Copy !req
48. I need you to get me to a hospital quick!Copy !req
49. What? What's so funny?Copy !req
50. Sorry, it's just hard
to focus on what you're sayingCopy !req
51. with that squeaky
puberty voice you got there.Copy !req
52. My what?Copy !req
53. It's nothing to be ashamed of, Dipper.Copy !req
54. Your voice is hilarious.Copy !req
55. Are you saying my voice cracks?
My voice doesn't crack.Copy !req
56. Dude, no offense,Copy !req
57. but it cracks so much we've already
made a techno remix out of it.Copy !req
58. Nice to meet you
My name's Dipper PinesCopy !req
59. Pines, Pines, Pines
Nice to meet youCopy !req
60. Pines, Pines, PinesCopy !req
61. Do I really sound like that?Copy !req
62. Oh, here comes my favorite part!Copy !req
63. Stop it, guys!Copy !req
64. Give me that!Copy !req
65. Spin the pig!Copy !req
66. Ugh! Even my sighs sound weird.Copy !req
67. - Hello there!
- Ahhh!Copy !req
68. I couldn't help but overhear
yer sitchy-ation!Copy !req
69. Old Man McGucket!
Part-time inventor!Copy !req
70. Why did you spit on your hand?Copy !req
71. I don't rightly know!Copy !req
72. Hey, I remember you!
Your robot almost killed me!Copy !req
73. Come here! Follow me into this dark,
dangerous alley!Copy !req
74. Lately I been a-tinkerizin'
with a voice-altering tonic,Copy !req
75. on account of my horrifyin' voice!Copy !req
76. You can run,
but I'll still be in yer nightmares!Copy !req
77. This will really fix my voice? Thanks!Copy !req
78. Ah!Copy !req
79. Come mornin',
you'll sound like a new man!Copy !req
80. If you survive.Copy !req
81. Good morning, Dipper.Copy !req
82. I did it! I did it!Copy !req
83. Now I have a new voice!Copy !req
84. Morning, Mabel.
Who's my favorite Mabel?Copy !req
85. Ahhh! Who are you?Copy !req
86. What have you done with my brother?Copy !req
87. Dipper! I'll save you
from this body-switching warlock!Copy !req
88. Mabel, it's me! This is my voice now.
I sound awesome.Copy !req
89. Sound awesome.Copy !req
90. I knew boys' voices changed,
but this is weird. Weird and bad.Copy !req
91. Mabel, this is the best thing
that ever happened to me.Copy !req
92. And just think of the prank calls.Copy !req
93. - Hello?
- Hello.Copy !req
94. This is the President
of the United States of America.Copy !req
95. I'm calling to tell you...Copy !req
96. What? Who is this?Copy !req
97. Ho-ho-ho!Copy !req
98. Magnificent!Copy !req
99. Mabel no like.Copy !req
100. How you diddly doing, Soos?Copy !req
101. Kill it?! Kill it with fire! Everyone flee!Copy !req
102. What gives, man?Copy !req
103. You guys all made fun of my old voice.Copy !req
104. I thought you'd like the new one.Copy !req
105. Dude, at least before
you sounded like a real person.Copy !req
106. Now you sound like some kind
of weird commercial dude.Copy !req
107. I'll find Stan.
He'll like my new voice. You'll see!Copy !req
108. I'll be right back after these messages.Copy !req
109. Er... I mean, goodbye.Copy !req
110. Grunkle Stan. Grunkle Stan!Copy !req
111. Where are you, Grunkle Stan?Copy !req
112. Huh? I'd know that voice anywhere!Copy !req
113. You're the guy
who prank-called me earlier!Copy !req
114. No. No, I'm not.
I'm just a 12-year-old boy!Copy !req
115. You expect me to believe that,
you crazy-voiced punk?Copy !req
116. Wait! No!Copy !req
117. There's a prank caller on the loose!
Let's get him!Copy !req
118. Yeah! Come on! Come on, let's get him!Copy !req
119. Oh! Oh!Copy !req
120. Whoa!Copy !req
121. Escape!Copy !req
122. McGucket!
Your invention was a catastrophe!Copy !req
123. That's probably why I live in the dump!Copy !req
124. My own sister didn't recognize me.Copy !req
125. I scared away crowds!
I even sound ridiculous when I cry.Copy !req
126. Well, now, here's yer problem!Copy !req
127. I gave you the wrong drinky-majig!Copy !req
128. This one's for voice-over professional.Copy !req
129. Ah! I'm sure I've got a better voice
in here somewhere.Copy !req
130. Good! Hurry up.Copy !req
131. You got here just in time.Copy !req
132. Come sundown, you'd have reverted
back to your ridiculous old voice.Copy !req
133. It was ridiculous, wasn't it?Copy !req
134. D-D-D-Dipper Pines, that's meCopy !req
135. This remix is dedicated to my brother.Copy !req
136. Dipper, your voice is one of a kind.Copy !req
137. Dude, I never heard
anything like it. Remix over!Copy !req
138. You ready for yer new voice?
This one should be permanent!Copy !req
139. Ahem!Copy !req
140. - Hey, guys.
- Dipper!Copy !req
141. Oh, dude, you're back!Copy !req
142. Yeah. I guess I realized that even
though my voice might not be perfect,Copy !req
143. it's still mine and
I wouldn't change it for anything.Copy !req
144. Not even for whatever
was in this new vial.Copy !req
145. So what did you do
with the rest of that potion?Copy !req
146. I dumped it in Stan's coffee.Copy !req
147. Any of you kids seen my girdle?Copy !req
148. Where my girdle at?Copy !req
149. What? What's so funny?
I'm Grunkle Stan!Copy !req
150. Kids laughin'. Laughin' at their grunkle.Copy !req
151. I spy, with my little eye,
something that is black!Copy !req
152. Ooh! Ooh!Copy !req
153. - Everything.
- Yay for Soos!Copy !req
154. Yay for Soos!Copy !req
155. Hey, guys! Who wants to pass
the time by spinning?Copy !req
156. Everyone, spin!Copy !req
157. No.Copy !req
158. Whee!Copy !req
159. - Whee!
- Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!Copy !req
160. Dipper's pain is funny.Copy !req
161. But I'm starting to get bored.
Soos, tell a story.Copy !req
162. Really? Okay.Copy !req
163. This story is called,Copy !req
164. "Soos' Really Great Pinball Story."Copy !req
165. Is that a good title?Copy !req
166. Do they have to be, like,
puns or whatever?Copy !req
167. Go! Go! Go!Copy !req
168. This is it, dudes.Copy !req
169. After four long years of trying,Copy !req
170. I might finally get the high score
on Stan's creepy old pinball machine.Copy !req
171. If I do this,Copy !req
172. I'll go down in pinball historyCopy !req
173. with the likes
of Sal, Gaff, and, of course, Poo.Copy !req
174. Have you ever tried, maybe,
just tilting the machine?Copy !req
175. I don't know, dudes. Isn't breaking
the rules, like, against the rules?Copy !req
176. Nuts to the rules! Tilt! Tilt! Tilt!Copy !req
177. Failure. You stink!Copy !req
178. All right, that's it. Ready, kids?Copy !req
179. Tilt! Tilt! Tilt! Tilt!Copy !req
180. Quit tiltin', pardner.
Quit tiltin', pardner.Copy !req
181. Tilt!Copy !req
182. Bull's-eye!Copy !req
183. New high score.Copy !req
184. - Yeah.
- Yes! All right!Copy !req
185. This is the best moment of my life.Copy !req
186. This totally beats my old best moment.Copy !req
187. That ain't right. You cheated.Copy !req
188. Oh, yeah?
What are you gonna do about it?Copy !req
189. You're just a pinball game,
pinball game. Taunt, taunt.Copy !req
190. Uh, guys? There's an awful lot of green
lightning coming out of that game.Copy !req
191. No, that's the normal amount
of green lightning.Copy !req
192. Five more minutes.Copy !req
193. Aah! That's not a normal alarm clock.Copy !req
194. Soos! We're inside the game!Copy !req
195. - Crazy.
- Sweet Moses!Copy !req
196. Hushed exclamation of wonder.Copy !req
197. Awesome!Copy !req
198. Boing! Boing! Boing!Copy !req
199. Dude, if this is a dream,
I never wanna wake up!Copy !req
200. That can be arranged.Copy !req
201. Welcome to
Tumbleweed Terror, pardners!Copy !req
202. Hey, it's the skeleton cowboy guy.Copy !req
203. Did you zap me into your gameCopy !req
204. to congratulate me
on getting the high score?Copy !req
205. I beat Poo, dude.Copy !req
206. Hardly. If'n I do recall,
I warned y'all not to cheat.Copy !req
207. I tried to be gentleman-like.Copy !req
208. But I'm plum sick of being tilted.Copy !req
209. So now I reckon I'm gonna tilt you.Copy !req
210. Oh, yeah? Well, take this! Ow!Copy !req
211. And this! Ow! It hurts!Copy !req
212. I wish this was working better! Oh, dude!Copy !req
213. Soos!Copy !req
214. Get yourselves ready for the...Copy !req
215. - Multi-ball!
- Multi-ball!Copy !req
216. Multi-ball!Copy !req
217. Over there!Copy !req
218. Where are you?Copy !req
219. I'm not done teachin' you
a lesson about cheating yet!Copy !req
220. How are we ever gonna get out of here?Copy !req
221. - Think, guys!
- I'm trying.Copy !req
222. But it's hard with that gorgeous
pinball wench distracting me.Copy !req
223. Okay, don't worry, guys.Copy !req
224. I know every inch of this machine.Copy !req
225. There's a manual power switch inside.Copy !req
226. I can sneak in there
and turn off the game.Copy !req
227. But we'll have to distract
the cowboy guy.Copy !req
228. Are either of you good
at jumping up and downCopy !req
229. and making annoying noises?Copy !req
230. My time has come.Copy !req
231. All right, let's go, Soos. Soos?Copy !req
232. So are you, like,
doing anything later or...Copy !req
233. Right.Copy !req
234. Come on out
and show yourselves, varmints!Copy !req
235. Hey! Hey! Hey!Copy !req
236. Listen to me and look at what I'm doing!Copy !req
237. Somethin' ain't right here.Copy !req
238. Distraction! Distraction!Copy !req
239. - Let me see where this is goin'.
- La, la, la, la...Copy !req
240. Oh!Copy !req
241. Yippee-ti—vi.Copy !req
242. What? Where are ya?Copy !req
243. Darn it, I wish I had a neck!Copy !req
244. Soos! Psst! What's going on?
Just press the switch already!Copy !req
245. Okay, so I was gonna do that,
but I've been thinking.Copy !req
246. According to this, turning off the powerCopy !req
247. erases the high score permanently.Copy !req
248. That score is, like,
my one big life accomplishment.Copy !req
249. What? If you don't hurry up,
we could die in here!Copy !req
250. Fair point. But, what is life anyway,Copy !req
251. when compared to
the immortality of a high score?Copy !req
252. Soos! Are you out of your...Copy !req
253. There y'all are.Copy !req
254. Get ready to meet yer maker, Kkids!Copy !req
255. My maker is Ballway Games
in Redmond, Washington.Copy !req
256. Mabel!Copy !req
257. Soos!Copy !req
258. Soos, please!Copy !req
259. Turn it off!Copy !req
260. Uh...Copy !req
261. Goodbye, high score!Copy !req
262. Oh, you dudes okay?Copy !req
263. Yeah, Soos. You did it! You freed us!Copy !req
264. Hey, man, I'm sorry
you had to lose your high score.Copy !req
265. That's okay.
I got a new life accomplishment now.Copy !req
266. Saving you dudes.Copy !req
267. Aw!Copy !req
268. You think that pinball wench
will call me?Copy !req
269. I can't believe this nonsense!Copy !req
270. Magic tonics?
Soos winning at something?Copy !req
271. Where do you come up with this stuff?
I'll tell you a good story.Copy !req
272. It's called "Grunkle Stan
Wins the Football Bowl."Copy !req
273. Mr. Pines.Copy !req
274. I thought old folks were useless,Copy !req
275. but you taught me
and my gloating friends a lesson.Copy !req
276. Here's your football
winning trophy, Mr. Pines!Copy !req
277. Thanks, beautiful woman,Copy !req
278. but I couldn't have done it
without my sidekick, foot-bot.Copy !req
279. Thank you for building me, Daddy.Copy !req
280. I love you, Stan.Copy !req
281. I'm incredulous.Copy !req
282. - Come on! Ridiculous!
- Come on, that was really dumb!Copy !req
283. What? That story was great.Copy !req
284. I even threw in
a talking robot for the kids.Copy !req
285. Yeah, yeah,
I'm gonna tell a non-terrible story.Copy !req
286. A story called "Trooth Ache!"Copy !req
287. This attraction
is gonna make me a fortune!Copy !req
288. Easy with that bear, Corduroy!
I need him in showroom condition!Copy !req
289. No! No!Copy !req
290. Aw! They're hugging!Copy !req
291. So let me get this straight.Copy !req
292. Your plan is to teach this bear
to ride a bicycle?Copy !req
293. Nah. Come on.
Everyone's seen a bicycle-riding bear.Copy !req
294. No, no.
I'm gonna teach this bear to drive!Copy !req
295. And the yellow light means speed up.Copy !req
296. Uh-oh!Copy !req
297. What seems to be
the problem, Officers?Copy !req
298. Now there had better be
a darn good explanation for this.Copy !req
299. Oh, there is.Copy !req
300. You see, I'm a very old man,
not long for this earth,Copy !req
301. and the doctor's assigned me
a seeing-eye bearCopy !req
302. to drive me to the hospital
in case of emergencies.Copy !req
303. Is that right?
Then where's your doctor's note?Copy !req
304. Why, it's right here, inside my jacket!Copy !req
305. Ah! There you go!Copy !req
306. Well, I can't argue
with Doctor Medicine.Copy !req
307. To the hospital, honeypants!Copy !req
308. Grunkle Stan,
how could you lie to those policemen?Copy !req
309. Don't you know lying is always wrong??Copy !req
310. Mabel, when you get to be my age,Copy !req
311. you'll learn that sometimes you have
to bend the truthCopy !req
312. for the greater good.Copy !req
313. Hey, has anyone seen
my plate of spaghetti?Copy !req
314. No. But I bet Soos has.
You know how he likes to eat.Copy !req
315. This is a dark day.
Thanks, Grunkle Stan!Copy !req
316. See? Greater good.Copy !req
317. Ahh!Copy !req
318. Waddles, what am I gonna do
about Grunkle Stan?Copy !req
319. He needs to stop lying.Copy !req
320. I know!
But how do we stop him?Copy !req
321. Maybe you should check
Dipper's journal. Oink, oink.Copy !req
322. Say "Oink" one more time.Copy !req
323. Oink, oink.Copy !req
324. Waddles, you genius!Copy !req
325. "Buried 'neath a tree stump in
the deep forest are Truth Teeth,Copy !req
326. "which force upon the wearer
an inability to lie."Copy !req
327. Hmm...Copy !req
328. What's going on? What? Mabel?Copy !req
329. Quick question. What happened
to Dipper's spaghetti plate?Copy !req
330. I ate it because I have
little to no concernCopy !req
331. for other people's possessions
or emotions.Copy !req
332. Huh. That was strangely candid.Copy !req
333. Almost as if I'm unable to lie.
Well, goodnight!Copy !req
334. You what?
That seems like a horrible idea!Copy !req
335. It's great! Now he has to tell the truth.Copy !req
336. Hmm.Copy !req
337. Scrambled meat, here it is.Copy !req
338. Stan, what do you do in secret
every day during your lunch break?Copy !req
339. Usually I spend the hourCopy !req
340. aggressively scratching myself
in places I shouldn't mention.Copy !req
341. Now I'm going to avoid
making eye contactCopy !req
342. by pretending to read this newspaper.Copy !req
343. And go to the bathroom
without washing my hands.Copy !req
344. Ew!Copy !req
345. Well, that was disturbing.Copy !req
346. Don't worry, Dipper.
The truth is always a good thing.Copy !req
347. Excuse me.
Do you think this T-shirt is my size?Copy !req
348. Never mind the T-shirt! Hey, everybody!Copy !req
349. Look at this guy's abnormal
and unattractive face!Copy !req
350. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.Copy !req
351. Doing my taxes.Copy !req
352. Uh, Grunkle Stan,
why did you write this?Copy !req
353. Because I regularly
commit massive tax fraud.Copy !req
354. Might wanna tuck that one away there.Copy !req
355. Oh, no!Copy !req
356. Sometimes I think, "Is this all there is?"Copy !req
357. "Is life just some kind of
horrific joke without a punch line?Copy !req
358. "That we're all just biding our timeCopy !req
359. "until the sweet, sweet,
release of death?"Copy !req
360. Kids! I think I have a growth
forming on my back!Copy !req
361. Just wanted to be honest with you guys!Copy !req
362. I can't take it anymore, Mabel!Copy !req
363. You have to take those teeth
out of his mouth.Copy !req
364. But then he'd be a liar again!Copy !req
365. Could it possibly be
any worse that this?Copy !req
366. So after further investigation,Copy !req
367. turns out there is no
Doctor Medicine in Gravity Falls.Copy !req
368. You better have
a durn good explanation for this!Copy !req
369. Oh, and I do! You see, I lied to you.Copy !req
370. In addition,
I've been parking in handicap spaces,Copy !req
371. shoplifting fireworksCopy !req
372. and smuggling endangered animals
across multiple state lines.Copy !req
373. Also, you're fat.Copy !req
374. Is all this true?Copy !req
375. No! No, it's not true! Right, Mabel?Copy !req
376. Uh... Sirs, I have to be completely
and totally honest with you.Copy !req
377. Our Great Uncle Stan is...Copy !req
378. Stan is secretly a crime fiction writer!Copy !req
379. - What?
- Yeah!Copy !req
380. He was just telling you
about a characterCopy !req
381. from his upcoming page-turner,
Crime Grandpa!Copy !req
382. He's never committed a crime in his life!Copy !req
383. Also, have you lost weight?Copy !req
384. Well! Finally someone noticed.Copy !req
385. Wow! An author!
Can you teach me how to read?Copy !req
386. What? Author?Copy !req
387. Writers!
Masters of fiction. Goodnight, Officers!Copy !req
388. Hey, you all right?Copy !req
389. I can't believe I lied.Copy !req
390. Mabel, it was for the greater good.Copy !req
391. Yeah. The greater good.Copy !req
392. Hello, police station?Copy !req
393. Yeah, I forgot to tell 'em
about my tax fraud. No, tax fraud.Copy !req
394. - Get 'em out!
- What's gotten into you kids?Copy !req
395. We have to find a place
to get rid of these.Copy !req
396. And I never saw that box
full of magical teeth again.Copy !req
397. Oh, wait! There it is.Copy !req
398. Oh, sweet! My shoes!Copy !req
399. I liked the part with the bear.
The rest seemed pretty far-fetched.Copy !req
400. Mabel, we already know that story.
We just lived through it.Copy !req
401. So if we're living through
that story right now,Copy !req
402. then how does it end?Copy !req
403. Guys, do you see that?Copy !req
404. Oh, what is that?Copy !req
405. - Oh, no!
- Where are we going?Copy !req
406. That doesn't look good.Copy !req
407. Where are we?Copy !req
408. Look! The Shack!Copy !req
409. Which means we came
right back out the top!Copy !req
410. And I don't think any time has passed.Copy !req
411. It must be some kind of worm-hole.Copy !req
412. Yeah, dude, that sounds
sciency enough to be true.Copy !req
413. But that's impossible!
No one will believe us!Copy !req
414. Maybe this is one story
we should keep to ourselves.Copy !req
415. Agreed.Copy !req
416. He'll be fine.Copy !req
417. This is stupid.Copy !req