1. All right, Stan.Copy !req
2. Another day,
another random body pain.Copy !req
3. Here we go.Copy !req
4. Uhh!Copy !req
5. Dear Stan, I needed
something to carry milk inCopy !req
6. so I used your slippers.
Love, Mabel.Copy !req
7. Uhh!Copy !req
8. Ahh.Copy !req
9. Dear Stan,
I took theseCopy !req
10. to build a planetarium suit
for Soos.Copy !req
11. Sorry! Dipper.Copy !req
12. Uhh!Copy !req
13. Whoa, let's not take this line.Copy !req
14. - There's an old person in it.
- Pshht!Copy !req
15. Yeah, he's probably
gonna pay with,Copy !req
16. like, pennies
and war bonds.Copy !req
17. Hey! For your information,Copy !req
18. I was gonna shoplift
most of this!Copy !req
19. Security!Copy !req
20. Hahh! Smoke bomb!Copy !req
21. Aw, seriously?Copy !req
22. Ahh. Rough start to a day,Copy !req
23. but it's all
gonna be worth itCopy !req
24. when I fix that light bulb.Copy !req
25. And we're done.Copy !req
26. Does everyone see this?Copy !req
27. This is what a hero
looks like right here.Copy !req
28. I thought we were
out of light bulbs.Copy !req
29. Oh, we were.
So I invented my own.Copy !req
30. It will last a thousand years,Copy !req
31. and the light it emits
makes your skin softer.Copy !req
32. - Oh!
- Never have I known such softness.Copy !req
33. Anyway, where were you?Copy !req
34. Well, TV, at least you appreciate me.
Give me the good news.Copy !req
35. This just in: the mayor is dead.Copy !req
36. - What?
- Whoa! What's goin' on?Copy !req
37. Raised by bears
in the wilderness,Copy !req
38. Mayor Eustace "Huckabone"
BefufftlefumpterCopy !req
39. was best known for
raising the water tower,Copy !req
40. possibly starting World War I,Copy !req
41. and putting town menace
Gideon Gleeful behind bars—Copy !req
42. in actual adult prison.Copy !req
43. A memorial statue
is already being carvedCopy !req
44. in the deceased mayor's honor.Copy !req
45. I'm sorry. It's just been so
long since we've had real news.Copy !req
46. I'm just so happy!Copy !req
47. There will be a
Town Hall meeting this afternoonCopy !req
48. to discuss replacing him.Copy !req
49. New mayor, huh?Copy !req
50. Wonder who it could be...Copy !req
51. All right, order, order everyone!Copy !req
52. Calm down, now.Copy !req
53. We're here to choose a mayor
for the first time in almost a century.Copy !req
54. According to
the town charter,Copy !req
55. a worthy candidate is defined
as anyone who can cast a shadow,Copy !req
56. count to ten, and throw
their hat into the provided ring.Copy !req
57. Well, now, I do believe
I fulfill all the requirements.Copy !req
58. - Wait. Bud Gleeful?
- He looks good,Copy !req
59. considering we threw
his son in jail.Copy !req
60. That was a good day.Copy !req
61. Now, folks, I know
our family's hadCopy !req
62. its fair share of
whoopsie-daisies in the past,Copy !req
63. but I'd like to make up
for it by formally announcingCopy !req
64. my candidacy for
the mayor of Gravity Falls!Copy !req
65. Any questions?Copy !req
66. Yes. Are you still in contact
with Little Gideon?Copy !req
67. That's a great question!Copy !req
68. I'm giving you fifty percent
off a used car.Copy !req
69. Fifty percent?
Fifty percent?Copy !req
70. In fact, everyone
look under your seats.Copy !req
71. You get half off a used car,Copy !req
72. you get half off a used car...
- Better than cash!Copy !req
73. Wow! A colorful piece of paper!
He's got my vote.Copy !req
74. Guys, I've got
a really bad feelingCopy !req
75. about Bud Gleeful
as mayor.Copy !req
76. I don't know, dude,
it's not like we haveCopy !req
77. a lot of good mayor options.Copy !req
78. Everyone in this town
is a tad strange,Copy !req
79. except, ironically,
Tad Strange.Copy !req
80. Hi, guys. Tad's the name,
and being normal's my game.Copy !req
81. Loving you, Tad!Copy !req
82. And I love bread.Copy !req
83. It's a shame Ford isn't here.Copy !req
84. He'd run and winCopy !req
85. and be a great mayor.Copy !req
86. So, since everyone's happy,Copy !req
87. I'll just take
the oath of office now,Copy !req
88. sound good? Gavel up.Copy !req
89. Hold it right there, Bud!Copy !req
90. I'm taking you on!Copy !req
91. Stanford? No offense,Copy !req
92. but you're just some
two-bit carnival barker,Copy !req
93. and your head is more ears
than face!Copy !req
94. Oh, yeah? Well, your face
is more fat than... not fat!Copy !req
95. Oh, snap.Copy !req
96. What do you say folks?Copy !req
97. Are we just gonna
let Bud win?Copy !req
98. How about a real election?Copy !req
99. Get in there, hat!Copy !req
100. Well, looks like we got
some competition here, folks.Copy !req
101. Which I'm fine with,
totally fine with.Copy !req
102. I was gonna let
bygones be bygones, Stan,Copy !req
103. but you just made
a powerful enemy.Copy !req
104. I'll win either way,
and when I do,Copy !req
105. you might not like the
Gravity Falls you wake up in.Copy !req
106. Election! Election!
Election!Copy !req
107. Hee hee hee hee!Copy !req
108. Let the madness begin!Copy !req
109. Grunkle Stan,
what are you doing?Copy !req
110. Running for mayor.Copy !req
111. Did I—
Did I not make that clear?Copy !req
112. Grunkle Stan,
it's not that we think you can't do it,Copy !req
113. it's just...
- No, no, it's okay, Mabel.Copy !req
114. We don't think you can do it.Copy !req
115. Look, kids, the mayor
kicking the bucket got me thinking.Copy !req
116. I'm an old man
and I'm not getting any younger.Copy !req
117. My dumb brother's research
is probably gonna make him famous,Copy !req
118. and what do I have
to show for my life?Copy !req
119. Do I really want
"crooked grifter" on my tombstone?Copy !req
120. How about "crooked mayor"?Copy !req
121. Psst. Mabel, let's talk.Copy !req
122. I know Stan isn't
the best candidate—Copy !req
123. heck, he's committing
voter fraud right now—Copy !req
124. but Bud's definitely
up to something,Copy !req
125. and we're the only ones
who can stop him.Copy !req
126. You're right Dipper.Copy !req
127. Besides, Stan has
a kind of charisma.Copy !req
128. How hard could
getting him elected be?Copy !req
129. Spread the word, pig.Copy !req
130. All right, everybody,
eyes up here.Copy !req
131. Okay, Gravity Falls elections
are based on two events:Copy !req
132. the Wednesday Stump Speech,
held on an actual stump,Copy !req
133. and the Friday Debate, wherein
townsfolk throw bird seedCopy !req
134. at the candidate they like most.Copy !req
135. At the end, they release
a Freedom Eagle,Copy !req
136. who will fly to the candidate
covered in more seedCopy !req
137. and bestow a birdly kiss
upon him,Copy !req
138. anointing him mayor.Copy !req
139. I couldn't make this up
if I wanted to.Copy !req
140. Okay, Grunkle Stan,Copy !req
141. are you ready for
your first radio interview?Copy !req
142. I got my mouth, don't I?Copy !req
143. Okay, you're on
with the candidate.Copy !req
144. You're listening
to Falls Radio,Copy !req
145. 24-hour news
and bear rampage alerts.Copy !req
146. And now, here's the-T Man!Copy !req
147. Hello.Copy !req
148. Candidate Stan,
first question:Copy !req
149. How do you feel
about the American flag?Copy !req
150. Eh. I can
take it or leave it.Copy !req
151. Too many stripes.
Next question?Copy !req
152. I don't know about that.Copy !req
153. What would you do
to help educate our kids?Copy !req
154. Heh! Simple.
Put 'em on an islandCopy !req
155. and make 'em
fight for dominance.Copy !req
156. Also teach kids swears.Copy !req
157. That'll bring 'em
into the real world.Copy !req
158. What would you do about
the crime in Gravity Falls?Copy !req
159. Wait. Do you mean
crime in general,Copy !req
160. or just the specific crimes
committed by m—Copy !req
161. Okay, interview's over.Copy !req
162. Candy, what's the damage?Copy !req
163. Your approval rating
started at zero.Copy !req
164. Now it's a number
lower than zero.Copy !req
165. You're meme-ing fast,Copy !req
166. and none of them are good.Copy !req
167. Look, Grunkle Stan,
people are like smell markers,Copy !req
168. and you're black licorice.Copy !req
169. It's not that
you're unsniffable,Copy !req
170. you just need to learn
when to keep the cap on.Copy !req
171. From now on, maybe you should
just read our prepared remarks.Copy !req
172. Heh heh! Sorry, kids.Copy !req
173. I only say words
that come out of my brain.Copy !req
174. If my head says,
"That lady's got an ugly baby,"Copy !req
175. my mouth says, "Whoa, lady!
You got one ugly baby!"Copy !req
176. And he's insisting
on speaking his mind!Copy !req
177. So this is an emergency.Copy !req
178. The Stump Speech
is in a couple of days,Copy !req
179. and if he continues like this,
we'll lose to Bud for sure.Copy !req
180. Hmm. It's a shame
there isn't some deviceCopy !req
181. that would allow you to control
someone else.Copy !req
182. Oh, wait. Of course.Copy !req
183. Yes. There is.Copy !req
184. A long time ago
I designed a prototypeCopy !req
185. for Ronald Reagan's masters.Copy !req
186. Just get Stan to wear this and
you can make him a literal talking head.Copy !req
187. Whoa! This is amazing!Copy !req
188. And ethically ambiguous!Copy !req
189. As long as you wear
the matching one,Copy !req
190. he'll say and do
whatever you want him to.Copy !req
191. Thank you, Great Uncle Ford!Copy !req
192. Yes, yes. Use it
responsibly and all.Copy !req
193. Whoa, thanks for
the slammin' tie, dudes.Copy !req
194. These stripes
are so slimming.Copy !req
195. You really think
this mind control tie is gonna work?Copy !req
196. Flip the switch
and test it out.Copy !req
197. Ohh!Copy !req
198. Ha! That's amazing!Copy !req
199. Guys! Something weird
just happened. I'm really freaked out!Copy !req
200. - I am Soos-tron.
- Watch me eat this pinecone.Copy !req
201. Mind control is awesome!Copy !req
202. Oh, my gosh!Copy !req
203. My life just flashed
before my eyes! Ohh!Copy !req
204. Education? Git it!Copy !req
205. Prosperity? Git it!Copy !req
206. A Gravity Falls
we can be proud of?Copy !req
207. Git it!Copy !req
208. Do I really have
to wear this thing?Copy !req
209. It looks like a flag
threw up on me.Copy !req
210. Grunkle Stan,
just trust your lucky tie.Copy !req
211. And now,
Stanford Pines!Copy !req
212. You're on, Grunkle Stan!Copy !req
213. Okay, we'll only jump in
if he starts doing badly.Copy !req
214. Hiya there! Stan Pines here.Copy !req
215. Let's get real. Do you think
the women of Gravity FallsCopy !req
216. wear too much makeup?Copy !req
217. Jump in! Jump in!Copy !req
218. Uhh! Uh,
what I meant to say was,Copy !req
219. you ladies all look great.Copy !req
220. And have you done something
with your hair?Copy !req
221. Girl, you are workin' it!Copy !req
222. That is exactly
what I needed to hear right now!Copy !req
223. - Whew!
- I'm Stan Pines.Copy !req
224. You may know me as that guy
who accidentally let all those bees looseCopy !req
225. in that elementary school
a few years back.Copy !req
226. But I believe in things.Copy !req
227. America. Freedom.
Ameri-freedom.Copy !req
228. Good. He's saying
all the right things.Copy !req
229. Like my opponent
pointed out,Copy !req
230. I may not have
a pretty face,Copy !req
231. but if you want a candidate
that will listen to you,Copy !req
232. well, I'm proud
to be all ears.Copy !req
233. Now watch me break it down!Copy !req
234. Uhh!Copy !req
235. Grunkle Stan,
that was amazing!Copy !req
236. Yeah! How'd you do it,
Mr. Pines?Copy !req
237. Uh, I don't know.Copy !req
238. I just opened my mouth
and spoke from the heart.Copy !req
239. Or gut. Or something.Copy !req
240. What is that sound?Copy !req
241. Why are people
jamming their hands together?Copy !req
242. It's applause!Copy !req
243. Grunkle Stan,
they love you!Copy !req
244. They... love me?Copy !req
245. Stan! Stan! Stan!Copy !req
246. There he is!
Mr. Pines, can we get a picture?Copy !req
247. Yes we Stan!Copy !req
248. Doggone it!Copy !req
249. Gosh heck huckleberry
honeysuckle darn it!Copy !req
250. Excuse my language.
I'm so sorry.Copy !req
251. Oh, this is bad.
This is real bad.Copy !req
252. I need to speak with
my campaign manager.Copy !req
253. Please excuse me
for a moment.Copy !req
254. Look, I'm sorry
about all this.Copy !req
255. This is a minor setback,
but we'll win,Copy !req
256. I'm sure of it.Copy !req
257. Minor setback?Copy !req
258. Minor setback?Copy !req
259. You listen, Daddy,
and you listen good.Copy !req
260. Prison is a nightmare!Copy !req
261. I eat the same slop every day!Copy !req
262. They have no hair products
in here!Copy !req
263. I can't sleep because
my cellmate took my pillow for a wife!Copy !req
264. You think I've been
having fun in here?Copy !req
265. - Hey, best friend!
- Don't be late for Friendship Bracelet class!Copy !req
266. I have fingerpainting
at the same time!Copy !req
267. The mayor dying's
my one ticket out of here,Copy !req
268. which is why you're gonna
win this election,Copy !req
269. pardon me out of prison, and
we're not gonna let the PinesCopy !req
270. get in my way again!Copy !req
271. But— but you don't understand.Copy !req
272. He's doing great in the polls.
It's almost like magic.Copy !req
273. Magic, you say.Copy !req
274. Well, maybe it's time
we fight fire with fire.Copy !req
275. I been saving this
for a long time,Copy !req
276. waiting for the right moment.Copy !req
277. Boy, now, we discussed this.Copy !req
278. No more spooky spells.Copy !req
279. Well, Daddy,Copy !req
280. maybe you just need to have
more of an open mind.Copy !req
281. No, boy, not that!Copy !req
282. Anything but that!Copy !req
283. Aaaaah!Copy !req
284. Ooh, it's him!Copy !req
285. Lookin' good,
mayor candidate.Copy !req
286. Hooeey! It's the guy
I'm gonna vote for!Copy !req
287. Lookin' A-OK, Stanford, A-OK.Copy !req
288. Tad, that means so much
coming from you.Copy !req
289. Hey-O!Copy !req
290. Stan!Copy !req
291. Now just the ladies.Copy !req
292. Stan!Copy !req
293. Now just the ladies my age.Copy !req
294. Stan!Copy !req
295. Woof! Never mind.Copy !req
296. On the house,
Mr. Big Shot.Copy !req
297. Now, this I could get used to.Copy !req
298. Grunkle Stan,
what's with the outfit?Copy !req
299. You're missing
your lucky tie.Copy !req
300. Power tie.
Gotta wear it.Copy !req
301. Come on,
have you seen the polls?Copy !req
302. I could debate naked
and I'd still win.Copy !req
303. Huh. Come to think of it...Copy !req
304. Ha ha. Seriously, though,Copy !req
305. we need you to wear
that suit and tie Grunkle Stan.Copy !req
306. Suit and tie.
Gotta wear it.Copy !req
307. Uhh! Why do you kids
have to constantly tell me what to do?Copy !req
308. Everyone in this town
is finally showing me respect—Copy !req
309. maybe you kids should, too.Copy !req
310. Grunkle Stan, we'd respect you
if you took things more seriously.Copy !req
311. I am taking this
seriously!Copy !req
312. If you haven't noticed,
everything that's come out of this golden mouthCopy !req
313. has put us on top, with
or without your dumb advice!Copy !req
314. - Dumb advice?
- Yeah!Copy !req
315. - Dumb advice.
- Dang it, Stan!Copy !req
316. Every one of those speeches
we were controlling you!Copy !req
317. - Dipper!
- What?Copy !req
318. This tie is a mind control
device invented by Ford.Copy !req
319. If it wasn't for this tie,
you'd be losing!Copy !req
320. Well, you can tell
that know-it-all FordCopy !req
321. that he can keep
his fancy light bulbs and magic ties.Copy !req
322. I'm gonna win this debate
on my own, without any of you!Copy !req
323. Stan, wait! You can't!Copy !req
324. Oh, this is bad.Copy !req
325. If we want to beat Bud,
we need another candidate, fast.Copy !req
326. What we need is
a blank slate,Copy !req
327. someone totally suggestible,Copy !req
328. an empty piece of clay
we can mold to our whims.Copy !req
329. Hey, a little help,
dudes?Copy !req
330. I accidentally got my head
stuck in my shirt sleeve.Copy !req
331. I guess this is my life now.Copy !req
332. Seed here!
Support your favorite candidateCopy !req
333. by throwing election seed!Copy !req
334. Welcome, all,
to the final debateCopy !req
335. in what's sure to be,
on a cosmic scale,Copy !req
336. a forgettable blip
in human history.Copy !req
337. And here come the three
most popular candidates!Copy !req
338. Oh! Hello there, Stanford.Copy !req
339. Long time no see.
Hee hee. Whoo-hoo-hoo!Copy !req
340. Don't you "tee-hee" me.
I'll debate you into the ground!Copy !req
341. Oh, but I have a widdle
twick up my sweevie-weeves.Copy !req
342. You're making me
very uncomfortable right now.Copy !req
343. But what's this?Copy !req
344. One new candidate
has entered the race!Copy !req
345. Wait a minute. What?Copy !req
346. Those backstabbing...Copy !req
347. Let the debate begin!Copy !req
348. First question:Copy !req
349. What's your position on axes?Copy !req
350. Wait. I mean... taxes.Copy !req
351. Easy. Taxes are the worst.Copy !req
352. I propose we stimulate
the economyCopy !req
353. by waging wars
on neighboring cities.Copy !req
354. We have the cannons.Copy !req
355. Boo!Copy !req
356. What? Uh...Copy !req
357. I don't know much about taxes,Copy !req
358. but I can promise you
a kitten in every pot.Copy !req
359. That doesn't make sense, Mabel.Copy !req
360. You don't make sense, Dipper!Copy !req
361. Fwends. Fwends.
Can't you see what's happening on this stage?Copy !req
362. These politicians
are dancing around the issues.Copy !req
363. Well, I can sing
round the issues!Copy !req
364. You may now
throw your birdseed.Copy !req
365. And now
a quick intermission.Copy !req
366. We're getting
eaten alive back there.Copy !req
367. Since when has Bud
been creepily adorable?Copy !req
368. I don't know!
It doesn't make sense!Copy !req
369. He's almost acting
just like... like...Copy !req
370. Widdle old me.Copy !req
371. Aha! Hello there!
Long time no see.Copy !req
372. Except in my revenge fantasiesCopy !req
373. where I see you
on an hourly basis.Copy !req
374. Gideon! I knew you were
somehow behind this!Copy !req
375. You've been controlling Bud!Copy !req
376. And it seems you've
been controlling Stanford!Copy !req
377. I have to hand it
to both y'all.Copy !req
378. You've gotten much eviler
since I last saw ya.Copy !req
379. Daddy.Copy !req
380. Let go of us!Copy !req
381. Behold your grand view
of the debate!Copy !req
382. Once I win this election,Copy !req
383. I'll finally rule
this backwoods town!Copy !req
384. You'll never get away with this,
you creepy little dork!Copy !req
385. Oh, I'd be happy to spare you,
Mabel, if you agree to be mine.Copy !req
386. I've even made you
this wedding dress in crafts class.Copy !req
387. Don't ask what it's made of.Copy !req
388. Ew! I'd rather die,
you creep!Copy !req
389. Fine! Have it your way.
Once I win,Copy !req
390. they'll hit the plunger
for the fireworks display,Copy !req
391. finishing the mountain's
construction,Copy !req
392. trapping you all inside.Copy !req
393. I've been trapped
behind concrete all summer—Copy !req
394. now see how you like it!Copy !req
395. Say hello to the next
mayor of Gravity Falls, kids!Copy !req
396. And that is why, um,Copy !req
397. the Statue of Liberty
is our hottest landmark.Copy !req
398. Boo!Copy !req
399. Awright, I lied.
She's kind of mannish.Copy !req
400. What do you all want from me?Copy !req
401. Ahh. You're dying out there,
Stan.Copy !req
402. Kids, you were right
all along.Copy !req
403. I shoulda listened to you
when I had the chance.Copy !req
404. Help! Help us!
What the—?Copy !req
405. We're tied to
a bunch of fireworks!Copy !req
406. Kids!Copy !req
407. - Aah!
- Aaah!Copy !req
408. Listen, everybody,Copy !req
409. this debate is over.Copy !req
410. I gotta go save my family!Copy !req
411. No, those—those are just
some demolition dummies.Copy !req
412. Nothin' to see here.Copy !req
413. Can it, Gleeful!Copy !req
414. Heeyahhh!Copy !req
415. In a shocking
turn of events,Copy !req
416. Stan Pines has run to
the aid of two childrenCopy !req
417. who appear to be in danger.Copy !req
418. And the crowd is loving it!Copy !req
419. No! Stop it!
Thank you, but stop it!Copy !req
420. Get back,
you terror birds!Copy !req
421. Heeyahh!Copy !req
422. Grunkle Stan!Copy !req
423. Kids! Look, I'm sorry
I was being stubborn.Copy !req
424. I guess being the town's hero
wasn't enough. I wanted to be yours, too.Copy !req
425. We're sorry, Grunkle Stan.
We should have supported you, win or lose.Copy !req
426. Probably lose.Copy !req
427. I can still drop you, you know.Copy !req
428. No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, not again!Copy !req
429. Time to take care of you
once and for all!Copy !req
430. Oh no! We have to
get out of here!Copy !req
431. Kids, if I die,Copy !req
432. make sure I get
a bigger tombstone than Ford.Copy !req
433. No! No!Copy !req
434. Aaaaaah!Copy !req
435. Mayor Pines!
Mayor Pines! Mayor Pines!Copy !req
436. Well, I guess
we know who won.Copy !req
437. This just in: Stanford Pines loses.Copy !req
438. What?Copy !req
439. Despite winning an overwhelming
95% of the vote,Copy !req
440. election officials
had to disqualify himCopy !req
441. due to discovery of
an extensive criminal record.Copy !req
442. Oh boy.Copy !req
443. Stan, what did you do?Copy !req
444. What didn't I do?Copy !req
445. Crimes include shoplifting,Copy !req
446. teaching bears to drive,Copy !req
447. a new crime he invented
called "burgle-bezzlement,"Copy !req
448. first-degree llamacide...Copy !req
449. That llama knew too much.Copy !req
450. Due to this shocking
development,Copy !req
451. it would appear the mayorship
passes toCopy !req
452. the only candidate who actually
filled our their paperwork,Copy !req
453. local enthusiasm enthusiast
Tyler Cutebiker.Copy !req
454. Got it.Copy !req
455. We will dedicate
the rest of this broadcastCopy !req
456. to listing Stan's crimes.Copy !req
457. First-degree thermometer theft,
pug trafficking—Copy !req
458. Whoo! At least they didn't
list any of the bad ones.Copy !req
459. On an unrelated topic,
I have a lot of cheap pugs,Copy !req
460. and I need to move them fast.Copy !req
461. I'm sorry, Stan.Copy !req
462. I actually think you as mayor
would have been fun.Copy !req
463. Maybe it's for the best.Copy !req
464. I got close to the dream,
though, kids.Copy !req
465. Hey, I knit you something.Copy !req
466. It's not official,
but I think it fits.Copy !req
467. Grunkle Stan,
are you crying?Copy !req
468. I got campaign confetti
in my eye.Copy !req
469. Come on, kids, want to go
vandalize Mayor Tyler's mansion?Copy !req
470. - Hey hey! Vandalism!
- Yay!Copy !req
471. I'm sorry the election thing
didn't work out for you, bro.Copy !req
472. But if it makes you feel any better,Copy !req
473. we're gonna throw
a riot tonight.Copy !req
474. Does someone
want to throw a riot?Copy !req
475. Thanks, Ghost Eyes,
I'm just not in the mood.Copy !req
476. This poster is the only thing
keeping me going.Copy !req
477. I'm finally ready
to make a deal.Copy !req