1. All right, Stan.Copy !req
2. Another day,
another random body pain.Copy !req
3. Here we go.Copy !req
4. “Hm.!Copy !req
5. Dear Stan,Copy !req
6. I needed something
to carry milk in,Copy !req
7. so I used your slippers.
Love, Mabel.Copy !req
8. “Hm.!Copy !req
9. Ahh.Copy !req
10. Dear Stan,
I took theseCopy !req
11. to build a planetarium suit
for Soos.Copy !req
12. Sorry! Dipper.Copy !req
13. “Hm.!Copy !req
14. Whoa, let's not take this line.Copy !req
15. There's an old person in it.
Pshht!Copy !req
16. Yeah, he's probably
gonna pay with,Copy !req
17. like, pennies
and war bonds.Copy !req
18. Hey! For your information,Copy !req
19. I was gonna shoplift
most of this!Copy !req
20. Security!Copy !req
21. Hahh! Smoke bomb!Copy !req
22. Aw, seriously?Copy !req
23. Ahh. Rough start to a clay,Copy !req
24. but it's all
gonna be worth itCopy !req
25. when I fix that light bulb.Copy !req
26. And we're done.Copy !req
27. Does everyone see this?Copy !req
28. This is what a hero
looks like right here.Copy !req
29. I thought we were
out of light bulbs.Copy !req
30. Oh, we were.
So I invented my own.Copy !req
31. It will last a thousand years,Copy !req
32. and the light it emits
makes your skin softer.Copy !req
33. Uh!Copy !req
34. Never have I known
such softness.Copy !req
35. Anyway, where were you?Copy !req
36. Well, TV, at least you appreciate me.
Give me the good news.Copy !req
37. The mayor is dead.Copy !req
38. What?
Whoa! What's gain' on?Copy !req
39. Raised by bears
in the wilderness,Copy !req
40. Mayor Eustace "Huckabone"
BefufftlefumpterCopy !req
41. was best known for
raising the water tower,Copy !req
42. possibly starting World War I,Copy !req
43. and putting town menace
Gideon Gleeful behind bars—Copy !req
44. in actual adult prison.Copy !req
45. A memorial statue
is already being carvedCopy !req
46. in the deceased mayor's honor.Copy !req
47. I'm sorry. It's just been so
long since we've had real news.Copy !req
48. I'm just so happy!Copy !req
49. There will be a Town Hall
meeting this afternoonCopy !req
50. to discuss replacing him.Copy !req
51. New mayor, huh?Copy !req
52. Wonder who it could be...Copy !req
53. II'Copy !req
54. All right, order, everyone!Copy !req
55. Calm down, now.Copy !req
56. We're here to choose a mayor
for the first time in almost a century.Copy !req
57. According to
the town charter,Copy !req
58. a worthy candidate is defined as
anyone who can cast a shadow,Copy !req
59. count to ten, and throw their hat
into the provided ring.Copy !req
60. Well, now, I do believe
I fulfill all the requirements.Copy !req
61. Wait. Bud Gleeful?
He looks good,Copy !req
62. considering we threw
his son in jail.Copy !req
63. That was a good day.Copy !req
64. Now, folks, I know
our family's hadCopy !req
65. its fair share of
whoopsie-daisies in the past,Copy !req
66. but I'd like to make up
for it by formally announcingCopy !req
67. my candidacy for
the mayor of Gravity Falls!Copy !req
68. Any questions?Copy !req
69. Yes. Are you still in contact
with Little Gideon?Copy !req
70. That's a great question!Copy !req
71. I'm giving you fifty percent
off a used car.Copy !req
72. Fifty percent?
Fifty percent?Copy !req
73. In fact, everyone
look under your seats.Copy !req
74. You get half off a used car,Copy !req
75. - you get half off a used car...
- Better than cash!Copy !req
76. Wow! A colorful piece of paper!
He's got my vote.Copy !req
77. Guys, I've got
a really bad feelingCopy !req
78. about Bud Gleeful
as mayor.Copy !req
79. I don't know, dude,
it's not like we haveCopy !req
80. a lot of good mayor options.Copy !req
81. Everyone in this town
is a tad strange,Copy !req
82. except, ironically,
Tad Strange.Copy !req
83. Hi, guys. Tad's the name,
and being normal's my game.Copy !req
84. Loving you, Tad!Copy !req
85. And I love bread.Copy !req
86. It's a shame Ford isn't here.Copy !req
87. He'd run and winCopy !req
88. and be a great mayor.Copy !req
89. So, since everyone's happy,Copy !req
90. I'll just take
the oath of office now,Copy !req
91. sound good? Gavel up.Copy !req
92. Hold it right there, Bud!Copy !req
93. I'm taking you on!Copy !req
94. Stanford? No offense,Copy !req
95. but you're just some
two-bit carnival barker,Copy !req
96. and your head is more ears
than face!Copy !req
97. Oh, yeah? Well, your face
is more fat than... not fat!Copy !req
98. Oh, snap-Copy !req
99. What do you say, folks?Copy !req
100. Are we just gonna
let Bud win?Copy !req
101. How about a real election?Copy !req
102. Get in there, hat!Copy !req
103. Well, looks like we got
some competition here, folks.Copy !req
104. Which I'm fine with,
totally fine with.Copy !req
105. I was gonna let
bygones be bygones, Stan,Copy !req
106. but you just made
a powerful enemy.Copy !req
107. I'll win either way,
and when I do,Copy !req
108. you might not like the
Gravity Falls you wake up in.Copy !req
109. Election! Election!
Election!Copy !req
110. Hee hee hee heel!Copy !req
111. Let the madness begin!Copy !req
112. Grunkle Stan,
what are you doing?Copy !req
113. Running for mayor.Copy !req
114. Did I—
Did I not make that clear?Copy !req
115. Grunkle Stan, it's not that
we think you can't do it,Copy !req
116. it's just...
No, no, it's okay, Mabel.Copy !req
117. We don't think you can do it.Copy !req
118. Look, kids, the mayor kicking
the bucket got me thinking.Copy !req
119. I'm an old man
and I'm not getting any younger.Copy !req
120. My dumb brother's research is
probably gonna make him famous,Copy !req
121. and what do I have
to show for my life?Copy !req
122. Do I really want "crooked grifter"
on my tombstone?Copy !req
123. How about "crooked mayor"?Copy !req
124. Psst. Mabel, let's talk.Copy !req
125. I know Stan isn't
the best candidate—Copy !req
126. heck, he's committing
voter fraud right now—Copy !req
127. but Bud's definitely
up to something,Copy !req
128. and we're the only ones
who can stop him.Copy !req
129. You're right, Dipper.Copy !req
130. Besides, Stan has
a kind of charisma.Copy !req
131. How hard could
getting him elected be?Copy !req
132. Spread the word, pig.Copy !req
133. All right, everybody,
eyes up here.Copy !req
134. Okay, Gravity Falls electionsCopy !req
135. are based on two events:Copy !req
136. the Wednesday Stump Speech,
held on an actual stump,Copy !req
137. and the Friday Debate, wherein
townsfolk throw bird seedCopy !req
138. at the candidate they like most.Copy !req
139. At the end, they release
a Freedom Eagle,Copy !req
140. who will fly to the candidate
covered in more seedCopy !req
141. and bestow a birdly kiss
upon him,Copy !req
142. anointing him mayor.Copy !req
143. I couldn't make this up
if I wanted to.Copy !req
144. Okay, Grunkle Stan,Copy !req
145. are you ready for
your first radio interview?Copy !req
146. I got my mouth, don't I?Copy !req
147. Okay, you're on
with the candidate.Copy !req
148. You're listening to Falls Radio,Copy !req
149. 24-hour news
and bear rampage alerts.Copy !req
150. And now, here's the-T Man!Copy !req
151. Hello.Copy !req
152. Candidate Stan,
first question:Copy !req
153. How do you feel
about the American flag?Copy !req
154. Eh. I can
take it or leave it.Copy !req
155. Too many stripes.
Next question?Copy !req
156. I don't know about that.Copy !req
157. What would you do
to help educate our kids?Copy !req
158. Heh! Simple.
Put 'em on an islandCopy !req
159. and make 'em
fight for dominance.Copy !req
160. Also teach kids swears.Copy !req
161. That'll bring 'em
into the real world.Copy !req
162. What would you do about
the crime in Gravity Falls?Copy !req
163. Wait. Do you mean
crime in general,Copy !req
164. or just the specific crimes
committed by m—Copy !req
165. Okay, interview's over.Copy !req
166. Candy, what's the damage?Copy !req
167. Your approval rating
started at zero.Copy !req
168. Now it's a number
lower than zero.Copy !req
169. You're meme-ing fast,Copy !req
170. and none of them are good.Copy !req
171. Look, Grunkle Stan,
people are like smell markers,Copy !req
172. and you're black licorice.Copy !req
173. It's not that
you're unsniffable,Copy !req
174. you just need to learn
when to keep the cap on.Copy !req
175. From now on, maybe you should
just read our prepared remarks.Copy !req
176. Heh heh! Sorry, kids.Copy !req
177. I only say words
that come out of my brain.Copy !req
178. If my head says, "That lady's
got an ugly baby,"Copy !req
179. my mouth says, "Whoa, lady!
You got one ugly baby!"Copy !req
180. And he's insisting
on speaking his mind!Copy !req
181. So this is an emergency.Copy !req
182. The Stump Speech
is in a couple of days,Copy !req
183. and if he continues like this,
we'll lose to Bud for sure.Copy !req
184. Hmm. It's a shame
there isn't some deviceCopy !req
185. that would allow you to control
someone else.Copy !req
186. Oh, wait. Of course.Copy !req
187. Yes. There is.Copy !req
188. A long time ago
I designed a prototypeCopy !req
189. for Ronald Reagan's masters.Copy !req
190. Just get Stan to wear this,Copy !req
191. and you can make him
a literal talking head.Copy !req
192. Whoa! This is amazing!Copy !req
193. And ethically ambiguous!Copy !req
194. As long as you wear
the matching one,Copy !req
195. he'll say and do
whatever you want him to.Copy !req
196. Thank you, Great Uncle Ford!Copy !req
197. Yes, yes. Use it
responsibly and all.Copy !req
198. Whoa, thanks for
the slammin' tie, dudes.Copy !req
199. These stripes
are so slimming.Copy !req
200. You really think this mind
control tie is gonna work?Copy !req
201. Flip the switch
and test it out.Copy !req
202. Whoa!Copy !req
203. Ohh!Copy !req
204. Ha! That's amazing!Copy !req
205. Guys! Something weird
just happened.Copy !req
206. I'm really freaked out!Copy !req
207. I am Sous-tron.
Watch me eat this pinecone.Copy !req
208. Mind control is awesome!Copy !req
209. Oh, my gosh!Copy !req
210. My life just flashed
before my eyes! Ohh!Copy !req
211. Education? Git it!Copy !req
212. Prosperity? Git it!Copy !req
213. A Gravity Falls
we can be proud of?Copy !req
214. Git it!Copy !req
215. Do I really have
to wear this thing?Copy !req
216. It looks like a flag
threw up on me.Copy !req
217. Grunkle Stan,
just trust your lucky tie.Copy !req
218. And now,
Stanford Pines!Copy !req
219. You're on, Grunkle Stan!Copy !req
220. Okay, we'll only jump in
if he starts doing badly.Copy !req
221. Hiya there! Stan Pines here.Copy !req
222. Let's get real. Do you think
the women of Gravity FallsCopy !req
223. wear too much makeup?Copy !req
224. Jump in! Jump in!Copy !req
225. Uhh! Uh,
what I meant to say was,Copy !req
226. you ladies all look great.Copy !req
227. And have you done something
with your hair?Copy !req
228. Girl, you are workin' it!Copy !req
229. That is exactly what I needed
to hear right now!Copy !req
230. Whew!
I'm Stan Pines.Copy !req
231. You may know me as that guy
who accidentally let all those bees looseCopy !req
232. in that elementary school
a few years back.Copy !req
233. But I believe in things.Copy !req
234. America. Freedom.Copy !req
235. Ameri-Freedom.Copy !req
236. Good. He's saying
all the right things.Copy !req
237. Like my opponent
pointed out,Copy !req
238. I may not have
a pretty face,Copy !req
239. but if you want a candidate
that will listen to you,Copy !req
240. well, I'm proud
to be all ears.Copy !req
241. Now watch me break it down!Copy !req
242. Grunkle Stan,
that was amazing!Copy !req
243. Yeah! How'd you do it,
Mr. Pines?Copy !req
244. Uh, I don't know.Copy !req
245. I just opened my mouth
and spoke from the heart.Copy !req
246. Or gut. Or something.Copy !req
247. What is that sound?Copy !req
248. Why are people
jamming their hands together?Copy !req
249. It's applause!Copy !req
250. Grunkle Stan,
they love you!Copy !req
251. They... love me?Copy !req
252. Stan! Stan! Stan!Copy !req
253. There he is! Mr. Pines,
can we get a picture?Copy !req
254. Yes we Stan!Copy !req
255. Dflggone it!Copy !req
256. Gosh heck huckleberry
honeysuckle darn it!Copy !req
257. Excuse my language.
I'm so sorry.Copy !req
258. Oh, this is bad.
This is real bad.Copy !req
259. I need to speak with
my campaign manager.Copy !req
260. Please excuse me
for a moment.Copy !req
261. Look, I'm sorry
about all this.Copy !req
262. This is a minor setback,
but we'll win,Copy !req
263. I'm sure of it.Copy !req
264. Minor setback?Copy !req
265. Minor setback?Copy !req
266. You listen, Daddy,
and you listen good.Copy !req
267. Prison is a nightmare!Copy !req
268. I eat the same slop every day!Copy !req
269. They have no hair products
in here!Copy !req
270. I can't sleep because my cellmate
took my pillow for a wife!Copy !req
271. You think I've been
having fun in here?Copy !req
272. Hey, best friend! Don't be late for
Friendship Bracelet class!Copy !req
273. I have fingerpainting
at the same time!Copy !req
274. The mayor dying's
my one ticket out of here,Copy !req
275. which is why you're gonna
win this election,Copy !req
276. pardon me out of prison, and
we're not gonna let the PinesCopy !req
277. Qet in my way again!Copy !req
278. But— but you don't understand.Copy !req
279. He's going great in the polls.
It's almost like magic.Copy !req
280. Magic, you say.Copy !req
281. Well, maybe it's time
we fight fire with fire.Copy !req
282. I been saving this
for a long time,Copy !req
283. waiting for the right moment.Copy !req
284. Boy, now, we discussed this.Copy !req
285. No more spooky spells.Copy !req
286. Well, Daddy,Copy !req
287. maybe you just need to have
more of an open mind.Copy !req
288. No, boy, not that!Copy !req
289. Anything but that!Copy !req
290. Aaaaah!Copy !req
291. Ooh, it's him!Copy !req
292. Lookin' good,
mayor candidate.Copy !req
293. Hooeey! It's the guy
I'm gonna vote for!Copy !req
294. LOCI-fin' A-OK, Stanford, A-OK.Copy !req
295. Tad, that means so much
coming from you.Copy !req
296. Hey-o!Copy !req
297. Stan!Copy !req
298. Now just the ladies.Copy !req
299. Stan!Copy !req
300. Now just the ladies my age.Copy !req
301. Stan!Copy !req
302. Woof! Never mind.Copy !req
303. On the house,
Mr. Big Shot.Copy !req
304. Now, this I could get used to.Copy !req
305. Grunkle Stan,
what's with the outfit?Copy !req
306. You're missing
your lucky tie.Copy !req
307. Power tie.
Gotta wear it.Copy !req
308. Come on,
have you seen the polls?Copy !req
309. I could debate naked
and I'd still win.Copy !req
310. Huh. Come to think of it...Copy !req
311. Ha ha. Seriously, though,Copy !req
312. we need you to wear
that suit and tie.Copy !req
313. Suit and tie.
Gotta wear it.Copy !req
314. Uhh! Why do you kids have to
constantly tell me what to do?Copy !req
315. Everyone in this town
is finally showing me respect—Copy !req
316. maybe you kids should, too.Copy !req
317. Grunkle Stan, we'd respect you
if you took things more seriously.Copy !req
318. I am taking this
seriously!Copy !req
319. If you haven't noticed,Copy !req
320. everything's that's come out
of this golden mouthCopy !req
321. has put us on top, with
or without your dumb advice!Copy !req
322. Dumb advice?
Yeah!Copy !req
323. Dumb advice.
Dang it, Stan!Copy !req
324. Every one of those speeches
we were controlling you!Copy !req
325. Dipper!
What?Copy !req
326. This tie is a mind control device
invented by Ford.Copy !req
327. If it wasn't for this tie,
you'd be losing!Copy !req
328. Well, you can tell
that know-it-all FordCopy !req
329. that he can keep his fancy
light bulbs and magic ties.Copy !req
330. I'm gonna win this debate
on my own, without any of you!Copy !req
331. Stan, wait! You can't!Copy !req
332. Oh, this is bad.Copy !req
333. If we want to beat Bud,
we need another candidate, fast.Copy !req
334. What we need is
a blank slate,Copy !req
335. someone totally suggestible,Copy !req
336. an empty piece of clay
we can mold to our whims.Copy !req
337. Hey, a little help,
dudes?Copy !req
338. I accidentally got my head
stuck in my shirt sleeve.Copy !req
339. I guess this is my life now.Copy !req
340. Seed here!
Support your favorite candidateCopy !req
341. by throwing election seed!Copy !req
342. Welcome, all,
to the final debateCopy !req
343. in what's sure to be,
on a cosmic scale,Copy !req
344. a forgettable blip
in human history.Copy !req
345. And here come the three
more popular candidates!Copy !req
346. Oh! Hello there, Stanford.Copy !req
347. Long time no see.
Hee hee. Whoo-hoo-hoo!Copy !req
348. Don't you "tee-hee" me.
I'll debate you into the ground!Copy !req
349. Oh, but I have a widdle twick
up my sweevie-weeves.Copy !req
350. You're making me very
uncomfortable right now.Copy !req
351. But what's this?Copy !req
352. One new candidate
has entered the race!Copy !req
353. Wait a minute. What?Copy !req
354. Those backstabbing...Copy !req
355. Let the debate begin!Copy !req
356. First question:Copy !req
357. What's your position on axes?Copy !req
358. VVa it. I mean.. . taxes.Copy !req
359. Easy. Taxes are the worst.Copy !req
360. I propose we stimulate
the economyCopy !req
361. by waging wars
on neighboring cities.Copy !req
362. We have the cannons.Copy !req
363. Boo!Copy !req
364. What? Uh...Copy !req
365. I don't know much about taxes,Copy !req
366. but I can promise you
a kitten in every pot.Copy !req
367. That doesn't make sense, Mabel.Copy !req
368. You don't make sense, Dipper!Copy !req
369. Fwends. Fwends. Can't you see
what's happening on this stage?Copy !req
370. These politicians
are dancing around the issues.Copy !req
371. Well, I can sing
round the issues!Copy !req
372. You may now
throw your birdseed.Copy !req
373. And now
a quick intermission.Copy !req
374. We're getting
eaten alive back there.Copy !req
375. Since when has Bud
been creepily adorable?Copy !req
376. I don't know!
It doesn't make sense!Copy !req
377. He's almost acting
just like... like...Copy !req
378. Widdle old me.Copy !req
379. Aha! Hello there!
Long time no see.Copy !req
380. Except in my revenge fantasiesCopy !req
381. where I see you
on an hourly basis.Copy !req
382. Gideon! I knew you were
somehow behind this!Copy !req
383. You've been controlling Bud!Copy !req
384. And it seems you've
been controlling Stanford!Copy !req
385. I have to hand it
to both y'all.Copy !req
386. You've gotten much eviler
since I last saw ya.Copy !req
387. Daddy.Copy !req
388. Let go of us!Copy !req
389. Behold your grand view
of the debate!Copy !req
390. Once I win this election,Copy !req
391. I'll finally rule
this backwoods town!Copy !req
392. You'll never get away with this,
you creepy little dork!Copy !req
393. Oh, I'd be happy to spare you,
Mabel—if you agree to be mine.Copy !req
394. I even made you this wedding
dress in crafts class.Copy !req
395. Don't ask what it's made of.Copy !req
396. Ew! I'd rather die,
you creep!Copy !req
397. Fine! Have it your way.
Once I win,Copy !req
398. they'll hit the plunger
for the fireworks display,Copy !req
399. finishing the mountain's
construction,Copy !req
400. trapping you all inside.Copy !req
401. I've been trapped
behind concrete all summer—Copy !req
402. now see how you like it!Copy !req
403. Say hello to the next
mayor of Gravity Falls, kids!Copy !req
404. And that is why, um,Copy !req
405. the Statue of Liberty
is our hottest landmark.Copy !req
406. BOO!Copy !req
407. Awright, I lied.
She's kind of mannish.Copy !req
408. What do you want from me?Copy !req
409. Ahh. You're dying out there,
Stan.Copy !req
410. Kids, you were right
all along.Copy !req
411. I shoulda listened to you
when I had the chance.Copy !req
412. Help! Help us!
What the—?Copy !req
413. We're tied to
a bunch of fireworks!Copy !req
414. Kids!Copy !req
415. Aah!
Aaah!Copy !req
416. Listen, everybody,Copy !req
417. this debate is over.Copy !req
418. I gotta go save my family!Copy !req
419. No, those—those are just
some demolition dummies.Copy !req
420. Nothin' to see here.Copy !req
421. Can it, Gleeful!Copy !req
422. Heeyahhh!Copy !req
423. In a shocking turn of events,Copy !req
424. Stan Pines has run to
the aid of two childrenCopy !req
425. who appear to be in danger.Copy !req
426. And the crowd is loving it!Copy !req
427. No! Stop it!
Thank you, but stop it!Copy !req
428. Get back,
you terror birds!Copy !req
429. Heeyahh!Copy !req
430. Grunkle Stan!Copy !req
431. Kids! Look, I'm sorry
I was being stubborn.Copy !req
432. I guess being the town's hero wasn't
enough— I wanted to be yours, too.Copy !req
433. We're sorry, Grunkle Stan. We should
have supported you, win or lose.Copy !req
434. Probably lose.Copy !req
435. I can still drop you, you know.Copy !req
436. No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, not again!Copy !req
437. Time to take care of you
once and for all!Copy !req
438. Oh no! We have to
get out of here!Copy !req
439. Kids, if I die,Copy !req
440. make sure I get
a bigger tombstone than Ford.Copy !req
441. No! No!Copy !req
442. Aaaaaah!Copy !req
443. Mayor Pines!
Mayor Pines! Mayor Pines!Copy !req
444. Well, I guess
we know who won.Copy !req
445. Stanford Pines loses.Copy !req
446. What?Copy !req
447. Despite winning an overwhelming
95% of the vote,Copy !req
448. election officials
had to disqualify himCopy !req
449. due to discovery of
an extensive criminal record.Copy !req
450. Oh boy.Copy !req
451. Stan, what did you do?Copy !req
452. What didn't I do?Copy !req
453. Crimes include shoplifting,Copy !req
454. teaching bears to drive,Copy !req
455. a new crime he invented
called "burgle-bezzlement,"Copy !req
456. first-degree llamacide...Copy !req
457. That llama knew too much.Copy !req
458. Due to this shocking
development,Copy !req
459. it would appear the mayorship
passes toCopy !req
460. the only candidate who actually
filled out their paperwork,Copy !req
461. local enthusiasm enthusiast
Tyler Cutebiker.Copy !req
462. Got it.Copy !req
463. We will dedicate
the rest of this broadcastCopy !req
464. to listing Stan's crimes.Copy !req
465. First-degree thermometer theft,
pug trafficking—Copy !req
466. Whoo! At least they didn't
list any of the bad ones.Copy !req
467. On an unrelated topic,
I have a lot of cheap pugs,Copy !req
468. and I need to move them fast.Copy !req
469. I'm sorry, Stan.Copy !req
470. I actually think you as mayor
would have been fun.Copy !req
471. Maybe it's for the best.Copy !req
472. I got close the dream,
though, kids.Copy !req
473. Hey, I knit you something.Copy !req
474. It's not official,
but I think it fits.Copy !req
475. Grunkle Stan,
are you crying?Copy !req
476. I got campaign confetti
in my eyes.Copy !req
477. Come on, kids, want to go
vandalize Mayor Tyler's mansion?Copy !req
478. Hey hey! Vandalism!
Yay!Copy !req
479. I'm sorry the election thing
didn't work out for you, bro.Copy !req
480. If it makes you feel any better,Copy !req
481. we're gonna throw
a riot tonight.Copy !req
482. Does someone
want to throw a riot?Copy !req
483. Thanks, Ghost Eyes,
I'm just not in the mood.Copy !req
484. This poster is the only thing
keeping me going.Copy !req
485. I'm finally ready
to make a deal.Copy !req