1. Come on. Come on. Should be
just enough to finish the job.Copy !req
2. Phew! Can't be too careful
with this stuff.Copy !req
3. "Warning."Copy !req
4. Blah blah blah...Copy !req
5. "Extreme usage could result
in minor gravity anomalies."Copy !req
6. Can it, Poindexter.
I've come this far.Copy !req
7. I'm not giving up now.Copy !req
8. Yes, this is it!Copy !req
9. It's gonna be a bumpy ride,
but it'll all be worth it.Copy !req
10. Just eighteen more hours.Copy !req
11. Finally, everything changes...Copy !req
12. today.Copy !req
13. Aah! It's here!
It's here! It's here!Copy !req
14. Okay, so I was just
opening random doors, because I'm a creep,Copy !req
15. when I found
something amazing!Copy !req
16. If it was worth
waking up at 7:00 am for, that will be amazing.Copy !req
17. Feast your eyes!Copy !req
18. Whoa!Copy !req
19. Bro. Bro.
We're both thinkin' it.Copy !req
20. Crazy rooftop
fireworks party!Copy !req
21. Not so fast, kids.Copy !req
22. There is no way on earth
you're setting off those dangerous, illegal fireworks...Copy !req
23. without me.Copy !req
24. Here you go, sweetie!Copy !req
25. Set something on fire for your
Grunkle Stan!Copy !req
26. I am the god
of destruction!Copy !req
27. Whoa!Copy !req
28. Yay! Whoo!Copy !req
29. Hold on a minute.
Do you have a permit for those?Copy !req
30. Uh...Copy !req
31. Uh, do you have a permit
for being totally lame?Copy !req
32. Hey-o!Copy !req
33. Well, I can't argue
with that.Copy !req
34. Carry on.Copy !req
35. Ha ha!Copy !req
36. But seriously, though,
we should probably clean this mess up.Copy !req
37. With water balloons?Copy !req
38. I don't see why not.Copy !req
39. Seriously?Copy !req
40. Ow.
Whoo!Copy !req
41. Ah, this is what
Saturdays are for.Copy !req
42. Doing dumb things forever!Copy !req
43. Dumb things forever!Copy !req
44. Whoa, there!Copy !req
45. To Grunkle Stan!Copy !req
46. Not just a great uncle.Copy !req
47. The greatest uncle!Copy !req
48. Ha ha. All right,
all right. I tell ya,Copy !req
49. it's unnatural for siblings to
get along as well as you do.Copy !req
50. Ha ha! Don't worry,
we've still got plenty of summer leftCopy !req
51. to drive each other crazy.Copy !req
52. Heh... yeah...
plenty of summer left.Copy !req
53. Kids, there's something I, uh...
something I should tell you.Copy !req
54. It's, um... W-well, it's
complicated.Copy !req
55. I...Copy !req
56. I'm gonna go refresh my soda.Copy !req
57. Enjoy it while you can, Stan.Copy !req
58. They'll find out
sooner or later.Copy !req
59. Today's the day.Copy !req
60. What is that, a ladybug?Copy !req
61. What the...
Oh, no!Copy !req
62. Target's secure.
Take the house.Copy !req
63. What the...?Copy !req
64. Kids are secure.Copy !req
65. Roof team, go!Copy !req
66. Clear!Copy !req
67. Clear!Copy !req
68. Pig secure, we
have secured a pig.Copy !req
69. Hey, hands off, you stooge!Copy !req
70. Aah! I don't understand!Copy !req
71. What did I do that warrants
this much arresting?Copy !req
72. The government guys?Copy !req
73. I thought you
got eaten by zombies.Copy !req
74. We survived... barely.Copy !req
75. I used Trigger
as a human shield.Copy !req
76. He cried like a baby.Copy !req
77. Wha-hey!Copy !req
78. Not in front
of the Special Ops guys.Copy !req
79. This is security footage
of a government waste facility.Copy !req
80. At 0400 hours last night,
someone robbed 300 gallons of dangerous waste.Copy !req
81. What? You think
that's me?Copy !req
82. Don't play dumb
with us, Pines!Copy !req
83. But I actually am dumb!
Last night I was restockingCopy !req
84. the gift shop... I swear!Copy !req
85. Wait, Grunkle Stan!Copy !req
86. You've got the wrong guy!
Our Grunkle Stan might shoplift the occasional tangerine,Copy !req
87. but he's not
some evil supervillain.Copy !req
88. Listen, kid.
We've been watching your family all summer,Copy !req
89. and we've seen
some disturbing things,Copy !req
90. but nothing as dangerous
as what your uncle is hiding.Copy !req
91. Somewhere hidden
in this shack is a doomsday device!Copy !req
92. Trigger, you take
the children.Copy !req
93. I'll talk to the old man.
Sorry to break it to you, kids,Copy !req
94. but you don't know
your uncle at all.Copy !req
95. - Icy pop, clear!
- Hey!Copy !req
96. Kids! You gotta believe me!
For once I'm actually innocent!Copy !req
97. Kids!Copy !req
98. Ground team,
move move move!Copy !req
99. Break down the door!Copy !req
100. Or... maybe not.Copy !req
101. Stanford Pines, you
stand accused of theft of government waste,Copy !req
102. conspiracy, and possession
of illegal weapons.Copy !req
103. How do you plead
to these charges?Copy !req
104. Uh..."guiltoccent".
I mean, "innoguilty".Copy !req
105. Um... can I
have my phone call?Copy !req
106. Okay, give me whatever you
got that comes with a free toy.Copy !req
107. Soos!Copy !req
108. Mr. Pines? Is this some sort
of possession situation?Copy !req
109. Soos, pick up!Copy !req
110. Mr. Pines,
what happened?Copy !req
111. I heard you got arrested
or something?Copy !req
112. I had to go get
some panic food.Copy !req
113. Listen, I need
something from you.Copy !req
114. You know that vending machine
in the gift shop?Copy !req
115. I need you to guard it
with your life.Copy !req
116. No matter what happens,
no matter who talks to you,Copy !req
117. don't let them touch
that machine!Copy !req
118. Time for a repair guy...
to become a repair man.Copy !req
119. Sir, your Junior Yum-Yum
Baby-Time Kiddo Meal?Copy !req
120. Just put one in my mouth.Copy !req
121. Let's do this.Copy !req
122. We've got Mr. Pines
in custody.Copy !req
123. Our men are searching
the shack for that device.Copy !req
124. You take care
of those kids.Copy !req
125. What are you
gonna do to us?Copy !req
126. We'll be taking you
to child services. -Boo!Copy !req
127. In the meantime, enjoy
some mindless reality TV...Copy !req
128. designed to pacify you
and make you stop asking questions.Copy !req
129. I'm about to make
the incision.Copy !req
130. Ker-prank!
Aah!Copy !req
131. You're watching Ker-Prank'd
with Justin Ker-Prank.Copy !req
132. Dipper, this is crazy.Copy !req
133. There's no way Stan
was stealing hazardous waste.Copy !req
134. We gotta clear his name!Copy !req
135. Hmm...Copy !req
136. Wait a minute,
the security tapes!Copy !req
137. Didn't Stan say he was
restocking the gift shop last night?Copy !req
138. If we could get
the Mystery Shack's surveillance tapes,Copy !req
139. we could prove
he's innocent!Copy !req
140. We just need to think
of a way out of here.Copy !req
141. Think, Mabel. Think.Copy !req
142. No!Copy !req
143. Oh oh oh aah!Copy !req
144. Aah!
Aah!Copy !req
145. Mayday, mayday!
Agent down!Copy !req
146. Uhh! Darn branch!Copy !req
147. Uhh!
Ha ha, yes!Copy !req
148. Backup!
Requesting backup! Aah!Copy !req
149. Come on, Dipper.
We're gonna go clear our uncle's name.Copy !req
150. Oh, you poor kids.
You really think your uncle's innocent?Copy !req
151. I've seen it all before.
False names, double lives.Copy !req
152. One minute,
they're playing with water balloons.Copy !req
153. The next,
they're building doomsday devices.Copy !req
154. Your uncle scammed
the whole world.Copy !req
155. You gonna let him
scam you, too?Copy !req
156. You-you don't know
what you're talking about.Copy !req
157. You're gonna regret this!Copy !req
158. Aah!Copy !req
159. Only five more hours
till it happens.Copy !req
160. I gotta be there!
Come on, Stan,Copy !req
161. you gotta think
of a way out of this.Copy !req
162. Think!
Think!Copy !req
163. Huh?Copy !req
164. They're getting stronger!Copy !req
165. Of course, that's it!Copy !req
166. H-hey! Whoa!Copy !req
167. Is it just me,
or did the entire world just hiccup?Copy !req
168. I'm sure it's just
a baby-sized earthquake.Copy !req
169. Aww, baby-sized!Copy !req
170. It's happening!
The end's times!Copy !req
171. When that machine activates,
I gotta get outta town!Copy !req
172. Git in there,
raccoon wife, git!Copy !req
173. Eh?Copy !req
174. All right,
here's the plan.Copy !req
175. I'll take out
those two guard guys,Copy !req
176. you karate-chop
the other dude in the neck,Copy !req
177. and then we'll back-flip
through the front door!Copy !req
178. Mabel, aren't you forgetting
the simpler solution?Copy !req
179. Oh, right.Copy !req
180. So is it a rock,
or is it a face?Copy !req
181. I think...
it's a metaphor.Copy !req
182. All right.
If I was Stan,Copy !req
183. where would I hide
those surveillance tapes?Copy !req
184. Wait! The Antelabbit!Copy !req
185. Don't you mean
"jackalope"?Copy !req
186. Pfft!
That can't be right.Copy !req
187. - Yes!
- Yes!Copy !req
188. It's this week!
This is it!Copy !req
189. Go! Go! Go!
Go! Go! Go!Copy !req
190. Someone yelled
"Wormy Dance". We had to!Copy !req
191. Fast-forward.Copy !req
192. Ha! There it is!
Stan restocking, like he said.Copy !req
193. And the date shows
it was last night!Copy !req
194. It's proof!
He's innocent!Copy !req
195. - Uh-oh.
- Uh, maybe he's just going to the bathroom outdoors,Copy !req
196. the way nature intended.Copy !req
197. Oh, no.
Stan, you didn't!Copy !req
198. Don't panic.
That could be anyone in that suit.Copy !req
199. Aah! Hot Belgian waffles!Copy !req
200. Wait, I'm alone.
I can swear for real! Son-of-a...Copy !req
201. That's him, all right.Copy !req
202. Okay, okay.
So maybe Grunkle Stan stole some toxic waste.Copy !req
203. That doesn't mean he's leading
a nefarious double life.Copy !req
204. Mabel,
I'm not so sure about that.Copy !req
205. What?
What is all this?Copy !req
206. Stetson Pinefield?Copy !req
207. Hal Forrester?
Andrew "8-Ball" Alcatraz?Copy !req
208. These are fake IDs, Mabel!Copy !req
209. You wouldn't need these
unless you were trying to hide your real identity.Copy !req
210. But why would Stan
do that?Copy !req
211. What?Copy !req
212. "Stan Pines Dead"?Copy !req
213. "Foul play suspected
in Pines' death".Copy !req
214. "Fiery car crash,
brakes cut..." By who?Copy !req
215. "Unnamed grifter
at large"?Copy !req
216. Why would they call him
"unnamed"?Copy !req
217. Unless Stan...Copy !req
218. isn't...Copy !req
219. Stan?
Stan?Copy !req
220. Stan Pines is dead?Copy !req
221. Then who have we
been living with?Copy !req
222. It doesn't make
any sense!Copy !req
223. There has to be
some explanation.Copy !req
224. Maybe we're getting
Ker-Pranked!Copy !req
225. Justin Ker-Prank
is gonna jump upCopy !req
226. from behind one of these
plants, any minute now!Copy !req
227. Any minute, Justin.Copy !req
228. Can't believe it!
This whole summer I've been looking for answers,Copy !req
229. and the biggest mystery
was right under our nose.Copy !req
230. There's gotta be
some kind of explanation in here, somewhere.Copy !req
231. What the—?Copy !req
232. "Secret Code to Hideout"?Copy !req
233. Let me see that!Copy !req
234. A1, B, C3...Copy !req
235. I've never seen
a code like this.Copy !req
236. Wait, I have!Copy !req
237. Dipper,
it's the vending machine!Copy !req
238. All right, Pines.
Play time is over.Copy !req
239. Chopper's ready
to dust off to Washington.Copy !req
240. I'll enjoy
putting you away.Copy !req
241. What? Um, can't we stick
around for maybe one minute,Copy !req
242. uh, one minute,
thirty seconds?Copy !req
243. We're not falling
for your games, Pines.Copy !req
244. You've been running
your whole life.Copy !req
245. Your time is finally up.Copy !req
246. Bathroom break?
Just gimme 15 seconds.Copy !req
247. Sorry, but you've got
a flight to catch.Copy !req
248. Oh, yeah?
So do you!Copy !req
249. Huh?Copy !req
250. Whoa, whoa, hey!Copy !req
251. Aah!Copy !req
252. Hey!
Dang it, get back here!Copy !req
253. Men, get him!Copy !req
254. No! You won't get away
with this! Aah!Copy !req
255. - Aah!
- Gonna get ya! Gonna get ya!Copy !req
256. Ow!Copy !req
257. Whoa!Copy !req
258. You know where
the Mystery Shack is?Copy !req
259. Uh, yeah.Copy !req
260. Okay,
here's a hundred bucks.Copy !req
261. Drive as far away
from the Shack as possible,Copy !req
262. and don't stop
when the cops start chasing you!Copy !req
263. He's getting away!Copy !req
264. Obviously,
follow that cab!Copy !req
265. Stanford escaped!
He's at large!Copy !req
266. We need to sweep the town!
Move, move, move!Copy !req
267. All right, Soos,
remember the plan.Copy !req
268. Protect the machine,
earn Stan's trust,Copy !req
269. legally get adopted by Stan,
change name to Stan Junior.Copy !req
270. Soos!
Aah!Copy !req
271. Oh, kids,
where have you been?Copy !req
272. W-what are you doing here?Copy !req
273. Stan gave me a mission
to protect this machine.Copy !req
274. Ha! And I thought
I loved snacks!Copy !req
275. Soos, listen.
Something huge is going on here.Copy !req
276. If Stan is hiding
some dangerous secret,Copy !req
277. we need to find out
what it is!Copy !req
278. I need you
to step aside.Copy !req
279. Yeah, just let us through so we
can prove this is all just a big misunderstanding.Copy !req
280. Guys, I know this seems crazy, but I promised
Stan I would guard this with my life.Copy !req
281. I'm sorry, Soos.Copy !req
282. Aah! Attack glitter!
It's pretty, but it hurts!Copy !req
283. - Please, Soos!
- C'mon, Soos!Copy !req
284. Aw, c'mon, I don't wanna
fight you guys!Copy !req
285. This hurts me
more than it hurts you!Copy !req
286. Aah!Copy !req
287. Seriously, it hurts me
way more than it hurts you.Copy !req
288. Aah!Copy !req
289. Ohh...Copy !req
290. It's like something
from a video game.Copy !req
291. Or a dream.Copy !req
292. Or a nightmare.Copy !req
293. I gotta be there
when it happens! Aah!Copy !req
294. Guys, are we dreaming?
Somebody wake me up.Copy !req
295. This... can't be real.Copy !req
296. I don't understand.
Why would Mr. Pines have all this?Copy !req
297. It's just like
that bunker in the woods.Copy !req
298. But what is it doing
underneath the Mystery Shack?Copy !req
299. Okay, okay,
so he's got a huge, gigantic lab.Copy !req
300. That doesn't mean
anything bad.Copy !req
301. Everyone's got secrets!Copy !req
302. It's still Stan,
and he loves us.Copy !req
303. And we love him,
right?Copy !req
304. Can't be...
it's impossible.Copy !req
305. The other two journals?Copy !req
306. All this time,
all this time, Stan had them?Copy !req
307. I can't believe it!
Was anything he said to us real?Copy !req
308. Why would he have
those journals?Copy !req
309. Maybe he's the author.Copy !req
310. Or maybe he stole them
from the author!Copy !req
311. Maybe the reason he has
all of those fake IDsCopy !req
312. is because he is
a master criminal,Copy !req
313. and this machine
is his master plan!Copy !req
314. Whoa!Copy !req
315. "I was wrong the whole time".Copy !req
316. "The machine was meant to create
knowledge, but it is too powerful!"Copy !req
317. "I was deceived,
and now it is too late!"Copy !req
318. "The device,
if fully operational,Copy !req
319. could tear our universe apart!"Copy !req
320. "It must not fall
into the wrong hands".Copy !req
321. "If the clockever reaches
zero, our universe is doomed."Copy !req
322. It's the final countdown!
Just like they always sung about!Copy !req
323. The agents were right!
We have to shut it down!Copy !req
324. There! Quick!Copy !req
325. Turn these! Together!Copy !req
326. That's it!
The shutdown switch!Copy !req
327. This all stops now!Copy !req
328. Don't touch that button!Copy !req
329. Dipper, just back away.Copy !req
330. Please don't pressthat
shutdown button. You gotta trust me.Copy !req
331. And I should trust you, why?Copy !req
332. After you stole
radioactive waste,Copy !req
333. after you lied to us
all summer!Copy !req
334. I don't even know
who you are!Copy !req
335. Look, I know this
all seems nuts,Copy !req
336. but I need that machine
to stay on.Copy !req
337. If you just
let me explain...Copy !req
338. Oh! Oh, no!
Brace yourselves!Copy !req
339. Whoa, whoa, whoa!Copy !req
340. Aah!Copy !req
341. T-minus 35 seconds.Copy !req
342. Whoa, whoa, whoa!Copy !req
343. Whoa, aah!Copy !req
344. Dipper!Copy !req
345. Mabel! Hurry!
Shut it down!Copy !req
346. No!Copy !req
347. Mabel, Mabel, wait!Copy !req
348. Stop! Uhh!Copy !req
349. Soos, what are you doing?
I gave you an order!Copy !req
350. Sorry, Mr. Pines,
if that is your real name,Copy !req
351. but I have a new mission now,
protecting these kids!Copy !req
352. Soos, you idiot,
let me go!Copy !req
353. - Let me go!
- C'mon!Copy !req
354. Mabel, press
the red button!Copy !req
355. - Shut it down!
- No, you can't! You gotta trust me!Copy !req
356. Grunkle Stan,I don't even
know if you're my Grunkle!Copy !req
357. I wanna believe you,
but...Copy !req
358. Then listen to me.
Remember this morning,Copy !req
359. when I said I wanted
to tell you guys something?Copy !req
360. T-minus 20 seconds.Copy !req
361. I wanted to say that you're
gonna hear some bad things about me,Copy !req
362. and some of 'em are true,
but trust me, everything I've worked for,Copy !req
363. everything I care about,
it's all for this family.Copy !req
364. Mabel,
what if he's lying?Copy !req
365. This thing coulddestroy the
universe! Listen to your head!Copy !req
366. Look into my eyes, Mabel!Copy !req
367. You really think
I'm a bad guy?Copy !req
368. He's lying!
Shut it down, now!Copy !req
369. Mabel, please!Copy !req
370. Ten, nine...Copy !req
371. Grunkle Stan...Copy !req
372. Six, five...Copy !req
373. I trust you.Copy !req
374. Mabel, are you crazy?
We're all gonna...Copy !req
375. One.Copy !req
376. No!Copy !req
377. Aah!Copy !req
378. Aah!Copy !req
379. Aah!Copy !req
380. W-what?
Who is that?Copy !req
381. The author
of the journals.Copy !req
382. My brother!Copy !req
383. Is this the part
where one of us faints?Copy !req
384. Oh, I am so on it, dude.Copy !req