1. For tonight's final illusion, we have
the incredible Sack of Mystery.Copy !req
2. When you put your money in,
it mysteriously disappears!Copy !req
3. Of course!Copy !req
4. That makes perfect sense!
What a nice man!Copy !req
5. That was totally worth the drive!Copy !req
6. The tiger was badly
injured in the explosion.Copy !req
7. But we repaired him with a fist!Copy !req
8. Wow! Yeah! All right! Yeah!Copy !req
9. - That tiger's a hero!
- All right!Copy !req
10. Hey, look! It's that commercial
I was telling you guys about.Copy !req
11. Are you completely miserable?Copy !req
12. Yes!Copy !req
13. Then you need to meet...Copy !req
14. Gideon.Copy !req
15. - Gideon?
- What makes him so special?Copy !req
16. He's a psychic!Copy !req
17. So don't waste your time
with other so-called Men of Mystery.Copy !req
18. Learn about tomorrow tonight
at Gideon's Tent of Telepathy!Copy !req
19. Void where prohibited,
no COD's accepted.Copy !req
20. Carla, I've always loved you,
but I've never had the guts to say it.Copy !req
21. Wow! I'm getting all curious-y inside!Copy !req
22. Well, don't get too curious-y!Copy !req
23. Ever since that monster, Gideon, rolled
into town, I've had nothing but trouble!Copy !req
24. Gideon!Copy !req
25. - Well, is he really psychic?
- I think we should go and find out.Copy !req
26. Never! You're forbidden
from patronizing the competition!Copy !req
27. No one that lives under my roof
is allowed under that Gideon's roof!Copy !req
28. Do tents have roofs?Copy !req
29. I think we just found our loophole.
Literally!Copy !req
30. Mwop-mwop!Copy !req
31. So come down soon, folks!
Gideon is expecting you.Copy !req
32. Step right up there, folks!Copy !req
33. Put your money in
Gideon's Psychic Sack!Copy !req
34. - Only one thin dime. Thank you, ma'am.
- Sure! Absolutely.Copy !req
35. That makes perfect sense!Copy !req
36. Whoa, this is like a bizzarro version
of the Mystery Shack.Copy !req
37. They even have their own Soos!Copy !req
38. It's starting, it's starting!Copy !req
39. Let's see what this monster looks like.Copy !req
40. Hello, America! My name is Lil Gideon!Copy !req
41. - That's Stan's mortal enemy?
- But he's so widdle!Copy !req
42. Ladies and gentlemen,
it is such a gift to have you here tonight!Copy !req
43. Such a gift.Copy !req
44. I have a vision.Copy !req
45. I predict you will soon all say...Copy !req
46. Aw...Copy !req
47. Aw...Copy !req
48. It came true!Copy !req
49. - What? I'm not impressed.
- You're impressed.Copy !req
50. Hit it, Dad!Copy !req
51. Ah!Copy !req
52. Oh, I can see what others can't seeCopy !req
53. It ain't some sideshow trick
It's an innate abilityCopy !req
54. Where others are blind
I am future-ly inclinedCopy !req
55. And you, too, could see
if you wuz widdle 'ol meCopy !req
56. Come on, everybody, rise up!
I want y'all to keep it going!Copy !req
57. What... How did he...Copy !req
58. Keep it going!Copy !req
59. You wish your son would call you moreCopy !req
60. I'm leaving everything to my cats.Copy !req
61. I sense that you've been here beforeCopy !req
62. What gave it away?Copy !req
63. Come on!Copy !req
64. I'll read your mind, if I'm ableCopy !req
65. Something tells me
you're named MabelCopy !req
66. How'd he do that?Copy !req
67. So welcome all ye
to the Tent of TelepathyCopy !req
68. And thanks for visiting widdle ol' meCopy !req
69. Oh, my goodness!Copy !req
70. Thank you!
You people are the real miracles!Copy !req
71. Whoo! Yeah!Copy !req
72. Man, that kid's
an even bigger fraud than Stan!Copy !req
73. No wonder our uncle's jealous!Copy !req
74. Oh, come on,
his dance moves were adorable!Copy !req
75. And did you see his hair?
It was, like, whoosh!Copy !req
76. - You're too easily impressed.
- Yeah, yeah!Copy !req
77. Check it out, Dipper!
I successfully bezazzled my face!Copy !req
78. Blink!Copy !req
79. Ow.Copy !req
80. Is that permanent?Copy !req
81. I'm unappreciated in my time.Copy !req
82. Somebody answer that door!Copy !req
83. I'll get it!Copy !req
84. Howdy.Copy !req
85. It's widdle ol' you!Copy !req
86. Yeah, my song's quite catchy.Copy !req
87. I... I know we haven't formally met,Copy !req
88. but after yesterday's performance, I just
couldn't get your laugh out of my head!Copy !req
89. You mean this one?Copy !req
90. Oh, what a delight!Copy !req
91. When I saw you in the audience, I said
to myself, "Now there's a kindred spirit.Copy !req
92. "Someone who appreciates
the sparkly things in life."Copy !req
93. That's totally me!Copy !req
94. Enchanting. Utterly enchanting.Copy !req
95. - Who's at the door?
- No one, Grunkle Stan!Copy !req
96. I appreciate your discretion.
That Stan's no fan of mine.Copy !req
97. I don't know how a lemon so sour
could be related to a peach so sweet!Copy !req
98. Gideon!Copy !req
99. What do you say we step away
from here, and chat a bit more?Copy !req
100. Perhaps in my dressing room?Copy !req
101. Oh, makeovers!Copy !req
102. Ow.Copy !req
103. Do you see something you like?
'Cause I do.Copy !req
104. What?Copy !req
105. Hey, Dipper! What's going on?Copy !req
106. Whoa... Where have you been?Copy !req
107. And what's going on
with those fingernails?Copy !req
108. You look like a wolverine.Copy !req
109. I know, right?Copy !req
110. I was hanging out
with my new pal, Gideon!Copy !req
111. He is one dapper little man!Copy !req
112. Mabel, I don't trust anyone
whose hair is bigger than their head.Copy !req
113. Oh, leave him alone!
You never want to do girly stuff with me.Copy !req
114. You and Soos
get to do boy stuff all the time.Copy !req
115. - What do you mean?
- Hey, dude!Copy !req
116. You ready to blow up these hot dogs
in the microwave, one by one?Copy !req
117. Am I?Copy !req
118. One at a time! One at a time!Copy !req
119. Oh, dude!Copy !req
120. Whoa! The view from
your family's factory is nuts!Copy !req
121. Good thing we both brought our...Copy !req
122. Opera glasses!Copy !req
123. Mabel, when I'm up here, looking down
on all them little ol' people,Copy !req
124. I feel like I'm king of all I survey.Copy !req
125. - I guess that makes you my queen.
- What?Copy !req
126. You are being so nice to me right now!
Quit it!Copy !req
127. I can't quit it.
I am speaking from the heart.Copy !req
128. From the where, now?Copy !req
129. Mabel,
I've never felt this close with anyone.Copy !req
130. So, so close.Copy !req
131. Look, Gideon, I, um...Copy !req
132. I like you a lot, but
let's just be friends.Copy !req
133. At least just give me a chance.Copy !req
134. Mabel, will you do me the honor
of going on a date with me?Copy !req
135. - A play date?
- Mmm-mmm.Copy !req
136. - A shopping date?
- Mmm-mmm.Copy !req
137. It'll be just one little ol' date!
I swear on my lucky bolo tie.Copy !req
138. Um...Copy !req
139. Okay, then. I guess.Copy !req
140. Mabel Pines, you have made me
the happiest boy in the world!Copy !req
141. Are you sniffing my hair?Copy !req
142. It's not a date-date.Copy !req
143. It's just, you know,
I didn't want to hurt his feelings,Copy !req
144. and so I figured I'd throw him a bone.Copy !req
145. Mabel, guys don't work that way!
He's gonna fall in love with you!Copy !req
146. Yeah, right. I'm not that lovable.Copy !req
147. Ka-boom! Yes!Copy !req
148. Okay, we agree on something here.Copy !req
149. A night of enchantment awaits, my lady!Copy !req
150. Oh, boy.Copy !req
151. I can't believe
they let us bring a horse in here!Copy !req
152. Well, people have a hard time
saying no to me.Copy !req
153. Ah, Mr. Gideon, the feet on the table!
An excellent choice!Copy !req
154. Jean-Luc,
what did we discuss about eye contact?Copy !req
155. Yes, yes! Very good!Copy !req
156. I've never seen so many forks!
And water with bubbles in it?Copy !req
157. Ooh la-la. Oui, oui.Copy !req
158. I have no idea what you're saying.Copy !req
159. Hey, hey! What the Jekyll
is Mabel doing in the paperCopy !req
160. next to that greasy pickpocket Gideon?Copy !req
161. Oh, yeah, it's, like, a big deal.Copy !req
162. Everybody's talking about
Gideon and Mabel's big date tonight.Copy !req
163. What?Copy !req
164. That little shyster
is dating my great-niece?Copy !req
165. I wonder what the new name will be
for the power couple.Copy !req
166. Mabideon? Gideabel?
May-Gid-Bel-Eon!Copy !req
167. I didn't know! I didn't hear about it!
And plus, I told her not to!Copy !req
168. Yeah, well it ends tonight.Copy !req
169. I'm going right down
to that little skunk's house.Copy !req
170. This is going to stop right now!Copy !req
171. Dude, wouldn't it be funny
if that was a closet,Copy !req
172. and he had to come back out again
and walk out the real door?Copy !req
173. Nope. Real door.Copy !req
174. Gideon, you little punk! Open up!Copy !req
175. I will pardon nothing!Copy !req
176. Why, Stanford Pines!Copy !req
177. What a delight!Copy !req
178. Out of the way, Bud.
I'm looking for Gideon.Copy !req
179. Well, I haven't seen the boy around,Copy !req
180. but since you're here, you,
you simply must come in for coffee!Copy !req
181. - But, I came...
- It's imported!Copy !req
182. - All the way from Colombia!
- Wow!Copy !req
183. I went to jail there once!Copy !req
184. Some digs you got here.Copy !req
185. Oh! This! This is beautiful.Copy !req
186. Now, I hear
your niece and my Gideon are...Copy !req
187. Well, they're singing in harmony lately,
so to speak.Copy !req
188. Yeah! And I'm against it!Copy !req
189. No, no, no!Copy !req
190. I see it as
a fantastic business opportunity!Copy !req
191. Yes. The Mystery Shack
and the Tent of Telepathy!Copy !req
192. We've been at each other's throats
for far too...Copy !req
193. Let me get that...Copy !req
194. At each other's throats for far too long,
yes, we have!Copy !req
195. This is our big chance
to brush aside our rivalry,Copy !req
196. and pool our collective profits, you see.Copy !req
197. I'm listening.Copy !req
198. And so I said,
"Autograph your own head, short lady!"Copy !req
199. Yeah.Copy !req
200. Mabel, tonight's date
was a complete success!Copy !req
201. And tomorrow's date
promises to top this one in every way!Copy !req
202. Whoa, whoa!
You said just one date. And this was it!Copy !req
203. Hark! What a surprise!Copy !req
204. A Red Crested
South American Rainbow Macaw!Copy !req
205. Two, three, four...Copy !req
206. Mabel, will you accompany GideonCopy !req
207. to the ballroom dance this Thurbday?Copy !req
208. Thursday.Copy !req
209. - Aw, so adorable!
- Gideon's got a girlfriend!Copy !req
210. They're expecting us.
Please say you'll go?Copy !req
211. Aw...Copy !req
212. Gideon, I'm sorry,
but I'm gonna have to say...Copy !req
213. - I'm on the edge of my seat!
- This is gonna be adorable!Copy !req
214. If she says no, I'll die from sadness!Copy !req
215. I can verify that that will indeed happen.Copy !req
216. Hey! How did it go?Copy !req
217. I don't know. I have a lobster now.Copy !req
218. Well, at least it's over and you won't
ever have to go out with him again.Copy !req
219. Mabel? It's over, right? Mabel?Copy !req
220. Blargh! He asked me out again,
and I didn't know how to say no!Copy !req
221. Like this. "No."Copy !req
222. It's not that easy, Dipper!Copy !req
223. And I do like Gideon
as a friend, slash, little sister!Copy !req
224. So I didn't want to hurt his feelings!Copy !req
225. I just need to get things
back to where they used to be.Copy !req
226. You know, friends!Copy !req
227. Boatin' at night! Boatin' at night!Copy !req
228. You know, I thought dancing was going
to be the end of the evening, right?Copy !req
229. Don't you want this evening to last,
my sweet?Copy !req
230. No! I mean, yes.Copy !req
231. I mean, I'm always happy
to hang out with a friend.Copy !req
232. Buddy. Pal. Chum.
Other word for friend.Copy !req
233. - Pal?
- I already said pal. Uh, mate?Copy !req
234. How about soul mate?Copy !req
235. Well, you can't say no to that!Copy !req
236. He's so nice, but I can't keep doing this,
but I can't break his heart.Copy !req
237. I have no way out!Copy !req
238. What in the heck
happened on that date?Copy !req
239. I don't know! I was in the friend zone.Copy !req
240. And then,
before I knew what was happening,Copy !req
241. he pulled me into the romance zone!Copy !req
242. It was like quicksand!
Chubby quicksand!Copy !req
243. Mabel, come on.Copy !req
244. It's not like
you're going to have to marry Gideon.Copy !req
245. Great news, Mabel!
You have to marry Gideon!Copy !req
246. What?Copy !req
247. It's all part of my long-term deal
with Buddy Gleeful!Copy !req
248. There's a lot of cash
tied up in this thing.Copy !req
249. Plus, I got this shirt!Copy !req
250. Ugh, I am fat!Copy !req
251. Bodies change, honey! Bodies change.Copy !req
252. Oh, no. Mabel?Copy !req
253. Mabel's not here.
She's in Sweater Town.Copy !req
254. Are you gonna
come out of Sweater Town?Copy !req
255. Mmm...Copy !req
256. All right. Enough is enough!Copy !req
257. If you can't break up with Gideon,
then I'll do it for you.Copy !req
258. You will?Copy !req
259. - Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!
- Okay, all right, all right.Copy !req
260. Oh, Dipper Pines, how are you?
You look good, you look good.Copy !req
261. Thanks. You, uh...Copy !req
262. Look, Gideon. We've gotta talk.
Mabel isn't joining you tonight.Copy !req
263. She, uh...
She doesn't want to see you anymore.Copy !req
264. She's...
She's kind of weirded out by you.Copy !req
265. No offense!Copy !req
266. So what you're saying is,
you've come between us.Copy !req
267. You're not gonna, like,
freak out or anything are you?Copy !req
268. Of course not! These things happen.
Bygones, you know.Copy !req
269. So, okay, cool.
Well then, again, sorry man, but... Hey!Copy !req
270. Thumbs up, huh?Copy !req
271. Thumbs up, indeed, my friend.Copy !req
272. How did it go? Was he mad?Copy !req
273. Did he try to read your mind
with his psychic powers?Copy !req
274. Don't worry Mabel, he's just a kid!
He doesn't have any powers.Copy !req
275. Dipper Pines.
You don't know what you've done!Copy !req
276. You've just made
the biggest mistake of your life!Copy !req
277. Yeah!Copy !req
278. Gideon Charles Gleeful!
Clean up your room this instant!Copy !req
279. I can buy and sell you, old man!Copy !req
280. Fair enough.Copy !req
281. Hit me, dude!Copy !req
282. Feels good.Copy !req
283. I'm so glad everything's back to normal!Copy !req
284. - Your turn!?
- Your turn! Oh, man!Copy !req
285. Yello?Copy !req
286. Toby Determined,
Gravity Falls Gossiper!Copy !req
287. Oh! Hey, man!Copy !req
288. Sorry for
accusing you of murder last week.Copy !req
289. Water under the bridge!Copy !req
290. Say! We want to interview youCopy !req
291. about whether you've seen
anything unusual in this here townCopy !req
292. - since you've arrived!
- Oh, finally!Copy !req
293. I thought nobody would ever ask!
I have notes and theories!Copy !req
294. Uh-huh. Uh-huh...Copy !req
295. Four-one-two, Gopher Road.Copy !req
296. Tonight? Got it.Copy !req
297. There! I did your dirty work.Copy !req
298. Now it's time to
pay your end of the bargain!Copy !req
299. Shondra Hermenes' phone number!
Bless you, Lil Gideon!Copy !req
300. Hello?Copy !req
301. Hello, friend.Copy !req
302. Gideon!Copy !req
303. Dipper Pines, how long
have you been living in this town?Copy !req
304. A week? Two?
You like it here? Enjoy the scenery?Copy !req
305. What do you want from me, man?Copy !req
306. Listen carefully, boy.Copy !req
307. This town has secrets
you couldn't begin to comprehend!Copy !req
308. Is this about Mabel?
I told you, she's not into you!Copy !req
309. Liar! You turned her against me!Copy !req
310. She was my peach dumpling!Copy !req
311. Are you okay, man?Copy !req
312. Howdy!Copy !req
313. Reading minds isn't all I can do!Copy !req
314. But... But... You're a fake!Copy !req
315. Tell me, Dipper, is this fake?Copy !req
316. How's that hair tasting, buddy?Copy !req
317. Wendy, I need some advice.
You've broken up with guys, right?Copy !req
318. Oh, yeah. Russ Durham,
Eli Hall, Stony Davidson...Copy !req
319. I don't know what's wrong with me!Copy !req
320. I thought everything was back
to normal, but I still feel all gross.Copy !req
321. Mike Worley, Nate Holts.
Oh, that guy with the tattoos.Copy !req
322. Maybe letting Dipper do it for me
was a mistake.Copy !req
323. Gideon deserves an honest break up.Copy !req
324. Danny Feldman, Mark Epstein...Copy !req
325. Oh, man, I'm not sure
I ever actually broke up with him.Copy !req
326. No wonder he keeps calling me!Copy !req
327. I know what I gotta do.
Thanks for talking to me, Wendy!Copy !req
328. Ignore!Copy !req
329. Ooh!Copy !req
330. Whoa!Copy !req
331. Grunkle Stan was right about you!
You are a monster!Copy !req
332. Your sister will be mine!Copy !req
333. - Who's a cute little guy? You are!
- No, you are!Copy !req
334. She's never gonna date you, man!Copy !req
335. That's a lie!Copy !req
336. And I'm gonna make sure
you never lie to me again, friend.Copy !req
337. Gideon! We have to talk.Copy !req
338. Mabel! My marshmallow!
What are you doing here?Copy !req
339. I'm sorry, Gideon,
but I can't be your marshmallow.Copy !req
340. I needed to be honest
and tell you that myself.Copy !req
341. I don't understand.Copy !req
342. Uh... Mabel, this probably
isn't the best timeCopy !req
343. to be brutally honest with him.Copy !req
344. Hey, but we can still be
makeover buddies, right?Copy !req
345. Wouldn't you like that?Copy !req
346. Really?Copy !req
347. No! Not really!Copy !req
348. You were, like, attacking my brother!
What the heck?Copy !req
349. My tie! Give it back!Copy !req
350. Ha! Not so powerful without this,
are you?Copy !req
351. Dipper!Copy !req
352. Listen, Gideon, it's over.
I will never ever date you.Copy !req
353. Yeah!Copy !req
354. My powers!Copy !req
355. Oh, this isn't over.Copy !req
356. This isn't the last you'll see
of widdle ol' me.Copy !req
357. This is living, brother.Copy !req
358. From now on it's all name brand foods
and clown paintings.Copy !req
359. Well, hey, Gideon, look who I...Copy !req
360. Stanford Pines, I rebuke thee!Copy !req
361. I rebuke thee!Copy !req
362. "Rebuke?" Is that a word?Copy !req
363. The entire Pines family
have invoked my fury!Copy !req
364. You will all pay recompense
for your transgressions!Copy !req
365. What, you got, like,
a word-a-day calendar or something?Copy !req
366. But, sunshine, what about
our arrangement with Mabel and the...Copy !req
367. Silence!Copy !req
368. Well, I see he's taken to
one of his rages again.Copy !req
369. Sorry, Stan.
I have to side with Gideon on this one.Copy !req
370. Okay! Okay!
I can see when I'm not wanted.Copy !req
371. Stan, I'm sorry, but I'm gonna
need that painting back.Copy !req
372. Stan! Stan!Copy !req
373. Try and catch me, suckers!Copy !req
374. I could have had it all.Copy !req
375. What the heck happened to you two?Copy !req
376. - Gideon.
- Gideon.Copy !req
377. Gideon.Copy !req
378. Yeah, the little mutant
swore vengeance on the whole family.Copy !req
379. I guess he's gonna try to
nibble my ankles or something.Copy !req
380. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
How's he gonna destroy us now, huh?Copy !req
381. Try to guess
what number we're thinking of?Copy !req
382. He'll never guess
what number I'm thinking of.Copy !req
383. Negative eight!Copy !req
384. No one
would guess a negative number!Copy !req
385. - Oh, look out, I'm real scared!
- Look out!Copy !req
386. Bet he's planning our destruction
right now.Copy !req
387. Gideon, I still love you!
If only my family weren't in the way...Copy !req
388. Look at me, I am old, and I'm smelly!Copy !req
389. Hey, what are you gonna do
without your precious amulet?Copy !req
390. Oh, you'll see, boy.Copy !req
391. You'll see.Copy !req
392. - You're done?
- Not yet.Copy !req
393. - How about now?
- Almost.Copy !req
394. And there!Copy !req
395. Let's do this.Copy !req
396. You're all fired.Copy !req