1. I'm afraid your
services won't be required here, sir!Copy !req
2. My men have examined the evidence,Copy !req
3. and this is obviously an accident.Copy !req
4. What?Copy !req
5. Duck-tective
will return after these messages.Copy !req
6. That duck is a genius.Copy !req
7. Eh. It's easier to find clues when you're
that close to the ground.Copy !req
8. Are you saying
you could outwit Duck-tective?Copy !req
9. Mabel, I have very keen
powers of observation.Copy !req
10. For example,
just by smelling your breath,Copy !req
11. I can tell that you have been eating...Copy !req
12. ...an entire tube of toothpaste?Copy !req
13. It was so sparkly.Copy !req
14. Hey, dudes.
You'll never guess what I found!Copy !req
15. - Buried treasure!
- Buried...Copy !req
16. Hey, I was gonna say that!Copy !req
17. So I was cleaning upCopy !req
18. when I found this secret door
hidden behind the wallpaper.Copy !req
19. It's crazy-bonkers creepy!Copy !req
20. Whoa! It's a secret wax museum.Copy !req
21. They're so life-like!Copy !req
22. - Except for that one.
- Hello!Copy !req
23. It's just me, your Grunkle Stan!Copy !req
24. Behold the Gravity Falls Wax Museum.Copy !req
25. It was one of our
most popular attractions,Copy !req
26. before I forgot all about it.Copy !req
27. I got 'em all!
Genghis Khan, Sherlock Holmes,Copy !req
28. some kinda, I don't know, goblin man.Copy !req
29. Is anyone else
getting the creeps here?Copy !req
30. And now, for my personal favorite,
Wax Abraham Lincoln!Copy !req
31. Right over... Oh, no, come on!
Who left the blinds open?Copy !req
32. Wax John Wilkes Booth,
I'm looking in your direction!Copy !req
33. How do you fix a wax figure?Copy !req
34. Cheer up, Grunkle Stan!
Where's that smile?Copy !req
35. - Meh.
- Bep bop boop.Copy !req
36. Ow.Copy !req
37. Don't worry, Grunkle Stan,Copy !req
38. I'll make you a new wax figure
from all this old wax!Copy !req
39. You really think
you could make one of these puppies?Copy !req
40. Grunkle Stan,
I'm an arts and crafts master.Copy !req
41. Why do you think I always have
this glue gun stuck to my arm?Copy !req
42. I like your gumption, kid!Copy !req
43. I don't know what that word means,
but thank you!Copy !req
44. Dipper!Copy !req
45. What do you think
of my wax figure idea?Copy !req
46. She's part fairy princess
and part horse fairy princess.Copy !req
47. Maybe you should carve
something from real life.Copy !req
48. Like a waffle with big arms!Copy !req
49. Okay. Or, you know, something else.
Like someone in your family.Copy !req
50. Kids, have you seen my pants?Copy !req
51. Oh, Muse, you work in mysterious ways!Copy !req
52. Why's your sister talking to the ceiling?Copy !req
53. I think it needs more glitter.Copy !req
54. Agreed.Copy !req
55. I found my pants,
but now I'm missing my...Copy !req
56. What do you think?Copy !req
57. I think the wax museum's
back in business!Copy !req
58. I can't believe this many
people showed up!Copy !req
59. I know, right? Your uncle
probably bribed 'em or something.Copy !req
60. He bribed me!Copy !req
61. You all know me, folks,
town darlin', Mr. Mystery.Copy !req
62. Please, ladies, control yourselves.Copy !req
63. As you know,
I always bring the people of this fair townCopy !req
64. novelties and befuddlements,Copy !req
65. the likes of which
the world has never known.Copy !req
66. But enough about me.Copy !req
67. Behold, me!Copy !req
68. Ye-ah! Ye-ye-ye-ye-ye-ah!Copy !req
69. And now a word from
our own Mabelangelo.Copy !req
70. It's Mabel.Copy !req
71. Thank you for coming!Copy !req
72. I made this sculpture
with my own two hands!Copy !req
73. It's covered in my blood,
sweat, tears, and other fluids.Copy !req
74. - Ugh!
- Ewww!Copy !req
75. Heh heh. Yeah.
I will now take questions. You there!Copy !req
76. Old Man McGucket, local kook.Copy !req
77. Are the wax figures alive,
and follow up question,Copy !req
78. can I survive the Wax Man uprising?Copy !req
79. Um... Yes! Next question.Copy !req
80. Toby Determined,
Gravity Falls Gossiper.Copy !req
81. Do you really think
this constitutes a wonder of the world?Copy !req
82. Your microphone's
a turkey baster, Toby.Copy !req
83. - It certainly is.
- Next question!Copy !req
84. Shandra Jimenez, a real reporter.Copy !req
85. Your fliers promised free pizza
with admission to this event.Copy !req
86. Is this true?Copy !req
87. - That's what I heard.
- Come on!Copy !req
88. - Unbelievable!
- What a rip-off.Copy !req
89. Pizza? I want my pizza.Copy !req
90. That was a typo. Goodnight, everyone!Copy !req
91. In your face!Copy !req
92. I'm not coming back here.Copy !req
93. I think that went well.Copy !req
94. Hot pumpkin pie! Look at all this cash!Copy !req
95. I owe it all to one person.Copy !req
96. This guy!Copy !req
97. Oh!Copy !req
98. Yeah, you too, you little gremlin.Copy !req
99. Now you kids wash up.Copy !req
100. We got another long day
of fleecing rubes tomorrow. Go! Go!Copy !req
101. Kids.Copy !req
102. Well, Duck-tective, it seems you've
really quacked the case.Copy !req
103. Stupid duck.
Well, I'm gonna use the john.Copy !req
104. You need anything?Copy !req
105. I love this guy! Don't you go nowhere.Copy !req
106. Dipper, you wanna do
a toothbrush race?Copy !req
107. - Okay.
- No, no, no!Copy !req
108. Wax Stan, he's been murdered!Copy !req
109. I get up to use the john, right?Copy !req
110. And when I come back, blammo!
He's headless!Copy !req
111. My expert handcrafting, besmirched.Copy !req
112. Besmirched!Copy !req
113. Who would do something like this?Copy !req
114. What's your opinion, Sheriff Blubs?Copy !req
115. Look, we'd love to help you folks,
but let's face the facts.Copy !req
116. This case is unsolvable.Copy !req
117. - What?
- What?Copy !req
118. You take that back, Sheriff Blubs!Copy !req
119. You're kidding, right?
There must be evidence, motives.Copy !req
120. You know, I could help, if you want.Copy !req
121. He's really good. He figured out
who was eating our tin cans!Copy !req
122. All signs pointed to the goat.Copy !req
123. Yeah, yeah, let the boy help.
He's got a little brain up in his head.Copy !req
124. Whoo! Would you look
at what we got here!Copy !req
125. City Boy thinks
he's gonna solve a mysteryCopy !req
126. with his fancy computer phone.Copy !req
127. City Boy! City Boy!Copy !req
128. You are adorable!Copy !req
129. Adorable?Copy !req
130. He's adorable!Copy !req
131. Look, PJs, how about you
leave the investigating to the grownups,Copy !req
132. okay?Copy !req
133. Attention all units. Steve is going to fitCopy !req
134. an entire cantaloupe in his mouth.Copy !req
135. Repeat, an entire cantaloupe.Copy !req
136. It's a 23-16!Copy !req
137. Let's move.Copy !req
138. That's it! Mabel, you and me are going to
find the jerk who did thisCopy !req
139. and get back that head!Copy !req
140. Then we'll see who's adorable.Copy !req
141. Aww! You sneeze like a kitten.Copy !req
142. Wax Stan has lost his head,
and it's up to us to find it.Copy !req
143. There were a lot of unhappy customers
at the unveiling.Copy !req
144. The murderer could have been anyone!Copy !req
145. Gasp! Even us!Copy !req
146. In this town, anything is possible.Copy !req
147. Ghosts, zombies... Could be months
before we find our first clue.Copy !req
148. Hey, look! A clue!Copy !req
149. Footprints in the shag carpet.Copy !req
150. That's weird.
They've got a hole in them.Copy !req
151. And they're leading to...Copy !req
152. So what do you think?Copy !req
153. In my opinion? This is an ax.Copy !req
154. Wait a minute. The lumberjack!Copy !req
155. - Of course!
- Of course!Copy !req
156. In your face!Copy !req
157. He was furious
when he didn't get that free pizza.Copy !req
158. Furious enough for murder!Copy !req
159. You mean Manly Dan?Copy !req
160. Yeah, he hangs out at this crazy
intense biker joint downtown.Copy !req
161. Then that's where we're going.Copy !req
162. Dude, this is awesome.
You two are, like, the Mystery Twins.Copy !req
163. Don't call us that.Copy !req
164. Hey, give me
a hand with this coffin, will you?Copy !req
165. I'm doing a memorial service
for Wax Stan.Copy !req
166. Something small but classy.Copy !req
167. Sorry, Grunkle Stan,
but we've got a big break in the case.Copy !req
168. Break in the case!Copy !req
169. We're heading into town
right now to interrogate the murderer.Copy !req
170. We have an ax!Copy !req
171. That seems like the kind of thingCopy !req
172. a responsible parent
wouldn't want you doing.Copy !req
173. Good thing I'm an uncle.
Avenge me, kids!Copy !req
174. Avenge me!Copy !req
175. This is the place.Copy !req
176. Got the fake IDs?Copy !req
177. Here goes nothing.Copy !req
178. Sorry, but we don't serve miners.Copy !req
179. Dag-nabbit!Copy !req
180. We're here to
interrogate Manly Dan the lumberjackCopy !req
181. for the murder of Wax Stan.Copy !req
182. Deedle-eedle-eet.Copy !req
183. Works for me.Copy !req
184. - Hey, get out of here!
- Hey, come here, you!Copy !req
185. He hit me!Copy !req
186. My leg! Please!Copy !req
187. He's resting.Copy !req
188. All right, let's just
try to blend in, okay?Copy !req
189. You got it, Dippingsauce!Copy !req
190. Hey there, fellow restaurant patron!Copy !req
191. Bap!Copy !req
192. Manly Dan! Just the guy I wanted to see.Copy !req
193. Where were you last night?Copy !req
194. Punchin' the clock.Copy !req
195. - You were at work?
- No, I was punching that clock!Copy !req
196. 10 p.m., the time of the murder.Copy !req
197. So, I guess you've
never seen this before?Copy !req
198. - Listen, little girl...
- Actually, I'm...Copy !req
199. I wouldn't pick my teeth with that ax.
It's left-handed.Copy !req
200. I only use my right hand.
The manly hand!Copy !req
201. Get 'im, get 'im!Copy !req
202. Left-handed.Copy !req
203. Three, four, five, six.Copy !req
204. Oh! Your wife is gonna be beautiful!Copy !req
205. Yes!Copy !req
206. Mabel, big break in the case.Copy !req
207. But will she love me?Copy !req
208. It's a left-handed ax.Copy !req
209. These are all our suspects.
Manly Dan is right-handed.Copy !req
210. That means all we gotta do
is find our left-handed suspect,Copy !req
211. and we've got our killer!Copy !req
212. Oh, man! We are on fire today!Copy !req
213. Let's find that murderer!Copy !req
214. Mabel!
There's only one person left on this list.Copy !req
215. Of course! It all adds up!Copy !req
216. You kids better be right about this,Copy !req
217. or you'll never hear the end of it.Copy !req
218. The evidence is irrefutable.Copy !req
219. It's so irrefutable.Copy !req
220. I'm gonna get to use my nightstick!Copy !req
221. You ready? You ready, little fella'?Copy !req
222. - Whoo! Whoo!
- Whoo! Whoo!Copy !req
223. On three. One, two...Copy !req
224. Nobody move! This is a raid!Copy !req
225. What is this? Some kind of raid?Copy !req
226. Toby Determined,
you're under arrest for the murderCopy !req
227. of the wax body of Grunkle Stan!Copy !req
228. You have the right to remain impressedCopy !req
229. with our awesome detective work.Copy !req
230. Gobbling goose feathers!
I don't understand!Copy !req
231. Then allow me to explain.Copy !req
232. You were hoping
that Grunkle Stan's new attractionCopy !req
233. would be the story that saved
your failing newspaper.Copy !req
234. But when the show was a flop,Copy !req
235. you decided to go out
and make your own headline.Copy !req
236. But you were sloppy!Copy !req
237. And all the clues pointed
to a shabby-shoed reporterCopy !req
238. who was caught left-handed.Copy !req
239. Toby Determined,
you're yesterday's news.Copy !req
240. Boy, your little knees must be sore
from jumping to conclusions!Copy !req
241. Ha-cha-cha!Copy !req
242. I had nothing to do with that murder.Copy !req
243. I knew it!
Wait, what did you say? Nothing?Copy !req
244. - He said nothing.
- What? Could you repeat...Copy !req
245. Then where were you
the night of the break-in?Copy !req
246. Um...Copy !req
247. Finally, we can be alone,Copy !req
248. cardboard cut-out of female news
reporter, Shandra Jimenez!Copy !req
249. - Ew!
- Yuck!Copy !req
250. Time-stamp confirms it.Copy !req
251. Toby, you're off the hook,
you freak of nature.Copy !req
252. Hurray!Copy !req
253. But it has to be him!
Check the ax for fingerprints!Copy !req
254. No prints at all.Copy !req
255. No prints?Copy !req
256. I got a headline for you.Copy !req
257. "City kids waste everyone's time!"”Copy !req
258. Boy, I'd be pretty embarrassed
if I was you two!Copy !req
259. Kids, Soos, lifeless wax figures,
thank you all for coming.Copy !req
260. Some people might say it's wrongCopy !req
261. for a man to love
a wax replica of himself.Copy !req
262. They're wrong!Copy !req
263. Easy, Soos.Copy !req
264. Wax Stan, I hope you're
picking pockets in wax heaven.Copy !req
265. I'm sorry, I've got glitter in my eye!Copy !req
266. Dude!Copy !req
267. Those cops were right about me.Copy !req
268. Dipper, we've come so far.
We can't give up now!Copy !req
269. But I considered everything,
the weapon, the motive, the clues...Copy !req
270. Wax Stan's shoe has a hole in it.Copy !req
271. All the wax guys have that.Copy !req
272. It's where the pole-thingy
attaches to their stand-dealies.Copy !req
273. Wait a minute! What has holes
in its shoes and no fingerprints?Copy !req
274. Mabel! The murderers are...Copy !req
275. Standing right behind you?Copy !req
276. Wax Sherlock Holmes!
Wax Shakespeare! Wax Coolio?Copy !req
277. Wassup, Holmes?Copy !req
278. Oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh.Copy !req
279. Congratulations,
my two amateur sleuths.Copy !req
280. You've unburied the truth.
And now we're going to bury you!Copy !req
281. Bravo, Dipper Pines!
You've discovered our little secret.Copy !req
282. Applaud, everyone!
Applaud sarcastically.Copy !req
283. No, that sounds too sincere.
Slow clap. There we go.Copy !req
284. Nice and condescending.Copy !req
285. But how is this possible?
You're made of wax!Copy !req
286. Are you magic?Copy !req
287. Are we magic?
She wants to know if we're magic.Copy !req
288. We're cursed!Copy !req
289. Cursed! Cursed!Copy !req
290. Cursed to come to life
whenever the moon is waxing!Copy !req
291. Your uncle bought us
many years ago at a garage sale.Copy !req
292. A haunted garage sale, son!Copy !req
293. I must warn you,
these statues come at a terrible price.Copy !req
294. Twenty dollars?Copy !req
295. I'll just take 'em when you're not looking.Copy !req
296. - What?
- I said I was gonna rob you.Copy !req
297. And so the Mystery Shack
wax collection was born.Copy !req
298. By day, we would be
the playthings of man.Copy !req
299. But when your uncle went
to sleep, we would rule the night!Copy !req
300. - Hey, I told you to stop that.
- Make me!Copy !req
301. Huh?Copy !req
302. It was a charmed life
for us cursed beings.Copy !req
303. That is, until your uncle closed up shop.Copy !req
304. We've been waiting ten years to get our
revenge on Stan for locking us away.Copy !req
305. But we got the wrong guy.Copy !req
306. So you were trying to murder
Grunkle Stan for real?Copy !req
307. You were right all along, Dipper.
Wax people are creepy!Copy !req
308. Enough!Copy !req
309. Now that you know our secret,
you must die!Copy !req
310. What do we do? What do we do?Copy !req
311. I don't know...Copy !req
312. That's it! We can melt them with hotty,
melty things!Copy !req
313. Anyone move,
and we'll melt you into candles!Copy !req
314. Decorative candles!Copy !req
315. You really think you can defeat us?Copy !req
316. - I don't know. I'm not really sure.
- It's worth a shot I guess.Copy !req
317. So be it. Attack!Copy !req
318. Aaah!Copy !req
319. Uhh! Aaah!Copy !req
320. Interview this, Larry King!Copy !req
321. My neck! My beautiful neck!Copy !req
322. - Aah!
- Joke's on you, Groucho!Copy !req
323. I've heard about a cutting remark,
but this is ridiculous!Copy !req
324. Why is there nothing in my hand?Copy !req
325. Ha! Genghis Khan,
you fell harder than the...Copy !req
326. I don't know, Jin Dynasty?
Yeah. All right.Copy !req
327. Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!Copy !req
328. What's up with that?Copy !req
329. Dipper, watch out!Copy !req
330. All right, let's get this taken care of.Copy !req
331. Catch!Copy !req
332. Uh... Uh...Copy !req
333. Once your family is out of the way,Copy !req
334. we'll rule the night once again!Copy !req
335. Don't count on it!Copy !req
336. Come back here, you brat!Copy !req
337. You really think you can outwit me, boy?Copy !req
338. I'm Sherlock bleeding Holmes!
Have you seen my magnifying glass?Copy !req
339. It's enormous!Copy !req
340. Any last words?Copy !req
341. Um...Copy !req
342. You got any sunscreen?Copy !req
343. Got any... What?Copy !req
344. - No.
- You know, letting me lead you outside,Copy !req
345. probably not your sharpest decision.Copy !req
346. Outsmarted by a child in short pants?Copy !req
347. No!Copy !req
348. Fiddlesticks! Humbugs!Copy !req
349. It's a total kerfuffle!
What a hullabaloo...Copy !req
350. Case closed!Copy !req
351. You sneeze like a kitten.Copy !req
352. Those policemen were right,
you're adorable. Adorable!Copy !req
353. Ew.Copy !req
354. Though our group be cleft in twain,
man of wax shall rise again!Copy !req
355. - You know any limericks?
- Uh...Copy !req
356. There once was a dude from Kentucky...Copy !req
357. - Nope!
- Aah!Copy !req
358. Dipper! You're okay!Copy !req
359. You solved the mystery after all.Copy !req
360. I couldn't have done it
without my sidekick.Copy !req
361. No offense, Dipper,
but you're the sidekick.Copy !req
362. What? Says who? Are people
saying that? Have you heard that?Copy !req
363. Hot Belgian waffles!
What happened to my parlor?Copy !req
364. Your wax figures turned out to be evil,Copy !req
365. so we fought them to the death!Copy !req
366. I decapitated Larry King.Copy !req
367. You kids and your imaginations.Copy !req
368. On the bright side, though,
look what we found.Copy !req
369. My head! I missed this guy!Copy !req
370. You done good, kids!Copy !req
371. All right, line up
for some affectionate noogy-ing!Copy !req
372. I'm not so sure about that.Copy !req
373. Is there any other alternative?Copy !req
374. Noogie, noogie, noogie.Copy !req
375. Solved the case yet, boy?Copy !req
376. I'm so confident you're gonna say "no,"Copy !req
377. that I'm gonna take a long,
slow sip from my cup of coffee.Copy !req
378. Actually, the answer is yes!Copy !req
379. - It burns! It burns!
- My eyes! Drive! Drive!Copy !req
380. They got scalded!Copy !req
381. So, did you get rid of
all of the wax figures?Copy !req
382. I am 99% sure that I did!Copy !req
383. Good enough for me!Copy !req
384. Huh?Copy !req
385. So, you're a rat. Tell me about that.Copy !req
386. Hey, get back here!Copy !req
387. I'm hopping!Copy !req
388. I'm hopping after a rat that stole my ear.Copy !req
389. Hmm.Copy !req
390. Hey, Dipper, what do you think is better?Copy !req
391. Sequins, or llama hair?Copy !req
392. The llama hair.
Llamas are nature's greatest warriors.Copy !req
393. Thanks, Dipper!Copy !req