1. Gravity Falls S01E18 Land Before Swine
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2. Focus, deputy. Remember your trainin'.
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3. Easy, easy...
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4. You're almost there.
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5. Dang it! I almost got the treasure!
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6. The time we spend together is treasure enough.
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7. Hey! You feel that?
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8. Reckon we should report that.
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9. Or go for a ride in our new convertible!
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10. Ladies and Gentlemen,
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11. Continuing our mystery tour,
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12. You'll see the world famous outhouse of mystery.
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13. I got stuck in there once!
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14. Could I go to the bathroom?
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15. Save all questions until after the tour.
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16. And up ahead if you look really closely—
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17. Everybody get your cameras,
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18. You're gonna want to see this...
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19. Finally, Waddles,
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20. We have the whole house to ourselves!
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21. What do you think, dance party?
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22. I'm not hearing a no!
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23. Uh-oh, cuddle time. Ha ha ha!
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24. Waddles, can I tell you a secret?
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25. You're my favorite pig in the whole world.
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26. Mabel! What are you doing on the floor?
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27. Being cute and great.
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28. And I thought your brother was weird.
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29. No, he's more like, "Oh! Let's solve a mystery!
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30. I kiss a pillow with Wendy's face drawn on it."
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31. Ha ha! That's pretty good! Kissin' a pillow.
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32. Go! Go! Chew that pant leg!
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33. All right, outside. Now!
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34. No! Grunkle Stan!
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35. It's not safe for waddles outside.
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36. There's predators! And barbecuers!
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37. That's just the natural order.
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38. It's not my fault your pig's potentially delicious.
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39. He should be inside like a person.
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40. People don't roll around in their own filth.
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41. Except for Soos.
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42. And we're the lesser for it!
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43. Maybe we're the ones who should be put outside.
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44. Huh? Huh? Think about it!
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45. Today's the day, Soos. Thanks for coming along on this mission.
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46. Dude, it's an honor.
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47. Today I'm sweating from heat and excitement.
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48. There's something hiding in these woods.
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49. Something big enough to rip the roof off a car.
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50. If we get a photo of this thing, we'll be heroes!
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51. Yeah, we'll get all the babes.
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52. You'll be fending off smooches with a stick!
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53. Ha ha! Shut up, man.
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54. With a stick, dude.
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55. Here. Give me a boost.
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56. Oof! Got it.
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57. Uhh. Is sap supposed to be this sticky?
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58. If everything goes according to plan,
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59. The creature will grab that steak,
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60. Cross through the string,
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61. And set off cameras a, b, and c.
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62. And nothing can go wrong.
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63. High five.
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64. This was poorly planned.
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65. - Hey, you!
- Me?
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66. - Sick of constantly dropping your baby?
- Yes!
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67. Hi! I'm Bobby Renzobbi,
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68. And what you need is the huggy wuvvy tummy bundle!
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69. I can hold ten babies at once!
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70. I know what you're thinkin'-- "Does it work for pigs?"
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71. Yeah, it does work for pigs, stupid!
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72. Feel your pig's heartbeat next to yours!
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73. It works for p-I-I-I-I-gs!
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74. Grunkle Stan!
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75. I'm off to get a huggy wuvvy tummy bundle!
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76. Yeesh! Isn't knitting matching sweaters for that pig enough?
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77. Nope. Anyway, I need you to look after
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78. This little gentleman while I'm gone.
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79. Not now, kid. I got some tourists comin' through.
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80. Grunkle Stan, I know you're not crazy about Waddles.
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81. He's a fat, naked jerk!
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82. But you do care about me.
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83. Promise me you won't let him outside?
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84. Fine! Yeah, yeah, I promise.
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85. Thanks, Grunkle Stan!
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86. I'm watching you, pig.
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87. We did it! It tripped the wire!
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88. Somewhere in these cameras is a photo of that creature!
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89. I'll go develop the film.
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90. I'll go make us victory nachos.
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91. Dipper and Soos for life!
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92. And here, ladies and gentlemen,
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93. Is our final exhibit,
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94. The most hideous creatures known to man!
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95. Oh, it's us!
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96. Right, right. We...
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97. We have fun here.
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98. But seriously, folks,
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99. This is something.
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100. I present to you
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101. A unicorn made out of corn:
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102. The cornicorn!
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103. I-I don't know. I'm tired.
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104. What the—?
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105. What a rip-off!
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106. Kids, we're leaving.
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107. No! Noooo!
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108. Grrr. You!
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109. Come on, come on...
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110. That's a wing!
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111. If camera b got the wing,
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112. Then the one that should have got the rest is...
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113. Camera c!
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114. The creature!
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115. Who wants victory nachos?
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116. No!
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117. Dude, don't worry.
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118. I only ate like a third of 'em.
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119. Half of 'em.
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120. I ate all of 'em, dude.
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121. Just ten minutes without this pig in the house,
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122. Is that so much to ask?
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123. There. If Mabel asks...
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124. This never happened.
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125. "Oh, but Grunkle Stan! It's not safe out there!
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126. There's predators!" Oh, brother.
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127. I can't believe you, man!
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128. Sorry, dude. I was just so excited! Nachos cause excitement.
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129. Soos, no offense, but you gotta be more careful sometimes.
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130. I'm mean, what are the
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131. odds we'll ever get another picture of the—
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132. Dude, did you see that?
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133. That thing was a dinosaur, bro!
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134. How is it possible a dinosaur survived 65 million years?
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135. Did you see it, Mr. Pines?
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136. - Mr. Pines?
- It—
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137. - It took him.
- Took what?
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138. The pig. It took Waddles.
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139. What'd you say about waddles?
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140. Oh, whoa. Awkward silence.
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141. What's going on? Why are you standing around and where's Waddles?
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142. The good news is, you're gettin' a puppy!
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143. - What happened?
- Well, see,
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144. Uh, when the—
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145. The pig got eaten by a p-terodactyl, bro.
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146. What?
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147. Waddles? Waddles!
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148. Where did he go? How did this happen?
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149. Grunkle Stan, you didn't put him outside?
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150. What? No! I didn't put him anywhere!
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151. I'm not acting suspicious!
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152. You're acting suspicious!
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153. - What's a pig?
- Then what happened?
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154. Uh, look, it went down like this, see?
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155. So there I was, in the living room...
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156. Tenderly nursing him with only the richest of creams,
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157. When all of a sudden...
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158. So I said...
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159. Aaah! No dice, cowboy!
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160. I start punching him right in the face!
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161. But he played dirty.
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162. That really happened.
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163. Why? Why couldn't you have taken me?
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164. Oh, Grunkle Stan, you tried to save him!
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165. Uh, yep. I'm a... great man, all right.
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166. You punched a pterodactyl in the face?
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167. I thought you didn't even believe in the supernatural.
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168. Dinosaurs aren't magic. They're just big lizards.
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169. Get off my back!
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170. Oh, Waddles.
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171. That's it.
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172. No pterodactyl messes with my sister.
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173. We're gonna go out there, catch him, and save your pig.
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174. For Mabel, guys!
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175. For Mabel!
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176. But how do we even find the little guy?
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177. We follow that!
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178. Oh, sweet! Yes! Genius!
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179. Or, ya know, we could just call it a day,
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180. Maybe hit the pool hall or, uh...
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181. Yeah! Let's go...
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182. Save waggles!
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183. - Waddles.
- Him too.
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184. All right!
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185. That p-terodactyl won't know what hit him.
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186. Huh. It's "Pterodactyl," Man.
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187. Actually, nobody knows how to pronounce it
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188. Because no one was alive back in dinosaur days,
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189. So, uh—
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190. Whoa! Almost ran over my own head there.
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191. Mabel, we've gotta talk.
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192. This is a really high-stakes mission
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193. And I'm a little worried about Soos coming along on this one.
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194. I love the guy, but sometimes he...
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195. Messes stuff up.
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196. What? Since when?
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197. Sorry, dude.
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198. Sorry, dude.
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199. Look! A fairy!
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200. Ha ha!
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201. Oh, sorry, dude, I killed that fairy.
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202. Let him down easy.
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203. This is so great! You and me, bro!
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204. Best friends,
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205. Fighting and potentially high-fiving dinosaurs.
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206. Soos, look, I, uh... I gotta tell you something.
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207. Okay, but before you do,
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208. check out these matching shirts I made for us.
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209. Who's this guy right here?
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210. You. Totally you, dude.
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211. And these rays indicate friendship.
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212. So what was it you were gonna tell me again?
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213. Uh... p-terodactyl, here we come!
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214. Yes!
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215. Bros before dinos!
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216. Okay, the red yarn leads to...
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217. Old Man McGucket?
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218. Howdy, friends!
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219. What are you doing out here?
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220. You'll never believe me.
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221. So I was doing my hourly hootenanny—
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222. Ohh! This guy.
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223. When this enormous wingly critter
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224. Stole my musical spoons
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225. And flew lickety-split into the abandoned mines down yonder.
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226. Looks kinda hairy down there.
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227. Come on, Grunkle Stan, you can handle it.
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228. You punched a pterodactyl in the face, remember?
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229. Oh, yeah. Ha ha.
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230. I did do that, didn't I?
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231. My! What suspicious laughter!
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232. Guys, we're going in.
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233. Need someone to tag along
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234. and tell weird personal stories?
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235. No, thanks.
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236. So there I am
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237. Fightin' a raccoon for the same piece of meat,
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238. When our mouths get close and we kiss accidentally.
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239. Uhh. You can't take a hint, can you?
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240. Nope!
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241. - Sweet moses!
- Razzle dazzle!
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242. Fancy marmalade!
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243. These plants look all jurassic-y.
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244. Huh. This little fella smells like battery acid.
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245. Looks like I lost my sense of smell. Ha ha ha!
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246. Oh, Waddles,
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247. We're gonna find you!
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248. They're all trapped inside tree sap!
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249. That's how they survived for 65 million years.
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250. The summer heat must be melting them loose!
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251. Holy moly! Forget the cornicorn—
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252. This is the attraction of a lifetime!
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253. I could bring people down here
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254. And turn this into some sort of theme park.
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255. "Jurassic sap hole."
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256. Uh, dudes...
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257. Maybe we should keep moving.
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258. This could be a gold mine!
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259. Velvety rope type deal there,
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260. Ticket booth here—ha!
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261. I shoulda put that pig outside ages ago!
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262. - Wait. What did you just say?
- Hmm? What's that?
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263. You said the dinosaur flew into the house.
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264. No, wait. Uh—
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265. - If you think about it
- you put waddles outside,
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266. Then you lied to me about it!
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267. And now, thanks to you, my pig could be dead!
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268. Waddles could be dead!
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269. Look, he's an animal. He belongs outside.
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270. No! That's it!
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271. Grunkle Stan, I am never, ever speaking to you again!
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272. Look, you can't be serious.
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273. Oh, is someone talking right now? Because I can't hear them!
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274. Kid!
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275. I can't hear anyone!
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276. No one's talking to me!
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277. Guys, guys, don't fight.
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278. Why can't you be more like me and Dipper?
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279. Look, everything's gonna be cool.
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280. All we gotta do to find the pig is follow this here yarn.
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281. We just keep following and following,
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282. And when we reach the end—
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283. Wh-which cave was it again?
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284. Ohh, Soos! You lost the trail!
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285. Hey, come on, we'll find our way. Trust me!
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286. Sorry, dude.
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287. That is it! See, this is why I didn't want to bring you along!
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288. What—what do you mean?
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289. I mean, this is really important to Mabel,
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290. And you keep screwing everything up!
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291. You ruined our photograph,
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292. And now you've got us hopelessly lost!
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293. But we're p-terodactyl bros. I made t-shirts.
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294. It's pronounced "Pterodactyl."
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295. And these shirts are useless! They're gigantic!
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296. I... have... A different. Body type, dude!
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297. - Oh, so it's my fault?
- I just thought, ya know...
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298. Hey! Cheer up, fellers!
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299. I fixed your lantern!
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300. Heh heh! What— what are we doin'?
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301. Nobody make any sudden movements or loud noises.
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302. Yeehah! We found a pterodactyl!
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303. Guys. We need a plan to get out of here.
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304. Okay, okay. How's about Mabel knits Soos a pig costume...
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305. I like it.
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306. And we use soos as a human sacrifice!
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307. - I like it.
- Whaddya say, mabel?
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308. Aw, come on,
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309. You can't stop talkin' to me forever.
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310. Yeah, Mabel, we have to work together here.
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311. What? You want to work with Mabel
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312. But not your buddy Soos?
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313. Wait! Did you hear that?
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314. Waddles!
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315. - Wait, kid!
- Mabel!
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316. Are you nuts?
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317. Oh, is someone speaking?
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318. Because I can't hear anything!
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319. Oh, no! She's gone deaf with fear!
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320. Mabel, come back here!
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321. Waddles!
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322. Oh! My waddles!
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323. I'll never lose you again!
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324. Uh... Mabel?
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325. Sh-sh-sh. You're safe now.
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326. Mabel, great, you got him.
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327. Now we gotta get out of here!
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328. Waddles, wait!
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329. Get off me, you dumb pig!
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330. Look out!
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331. - Oh, no!
- Stan!
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332. Mr. Pines!
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333. Yeah, you would enjoy this.
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334. Guys, we've gotta save them!
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335. McGucket, do you have an invention
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336. that can distract the pterodactyl?
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337. Do I?
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338. Nope.
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339. Well, welcome to the world, little feller.
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340. The dumb thing must be hungry.
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341. I guess it's you or me, pig.
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342. What are you lookin' at?
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343. Aw, come on, don't give me that look.
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344. What am I supposed to do, let it eat me?
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345. Oh I get it! You're trying to guilt me.
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346. Well, it ain't workin', pal.
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347. Who cares if you're mabel's favorite thing in the world?
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348. I can live without the kid talkin' to me all the time,
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349. Tellin' me her jokes... makin' me laugh...
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350. Ah, dang it!
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351. Well, this is just about the dumbest thing I've ever done.
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352. You want this pig?
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353. Then you're gonna have to get through me, you flying devil!
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354. Come and get me!
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355. Aw, dude. Did he really just
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356. eat that prospector guy? That is messed up!
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357. I'm okay!
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358. What do we do? What do we do?
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359. - We have to get in a straight line.
- What?
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360. A pterodactyl's eyes are so far apart
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361. That if you stand right in front of it, it can't see you.
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362. Soos, you've been wrong about stuff all day.
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363. - How can we...
- Dude, look.
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364. I know I've messed up a lot.
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365. I could be sorta clumsy,
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366. And it's not always as loveable as I think.
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367. But please, as my friend, just trust me on this one.
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368. Get behind me, dudes.
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369. It's working.
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370. Soos, you did it!
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371. Was that...
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372. Stan?
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373. Waddles!
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374. He's punching him in the face!
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375. From heck's heart I stab at thee!
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376. Oh, yes! Ha ha! You're all right, Stan?
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377. Oh, Mr. Pines, you're okay!
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378. Here's your pig, kiddo.
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379. Oooh! Waddles!
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380. Oh... you saved him for me!
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381. Yeah, well, sometimes you just gotta—
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382. Look out!
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383. We're trapped!
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384. Quick! The geyser can shoot us back up!
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385. Come on, go! Go!
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386. Bros before dinos!
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387. I can't believe you did all that for Waddles!
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388. Ah, well, I can't have my favorite niece not talking to me,
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389. And if I gotta leap onto a pterodactyl and punch him in the face,
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390. Then that's what I gotta do.
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391. That's kinda sappy.
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392. What? That's how I feel!
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393. No, I mean...
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394. Oh, yeah.
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395. Gotcha!
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396. Check it out, that thing destroyed my vest.
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397. Soos, look!
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398. A real dinosaur tooth? That's awesome!
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399. Not as awesome as you saving us back there.
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400. Pterodactyl bros?
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401. Pterodactyl bros.
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402. Hey, I pronounced it right that time.
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403. Think we need to worry about the rest of those dinosaurs?
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404. I doubt it.
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405. I ate my way through a dinosaur!
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406. Hi, I'm Bobby Renzobbi!
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407. Are your arms jealous of your legs?
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408. Then you need arm pants—
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409. The pants that you wear on your arms!
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410. Sheesh. Who actually buys this infomercial stuff?
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411. Ha. I know, right?
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412. Cancel the order. Cancel the order!
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413. Snorting. That's his tell.
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414. - I fold.
- Tough luck, sucker.
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415. - Waddles was bluffing.
- What?
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416. I had four aces!
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417. That pig is a wizard!
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418. Look at him. He's taunting me.
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419. I've been cheating the last eight turns.
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420. Ha ha! That's my girl.
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