1. Ladies and gentlemen!
We now return to Cash Wheel.Copy !req
2. Sponsored by Chipackerz,
the chip-flavored crackers!Copy !req
3. But they taste just like chips!Copy !req
4. Congratulations! You're taking a...Copy !req
5. Cash Shower!Copy !req
6. I like that guy's style.Copy !req
7. Mr. Pines!
We got tourists at nine o'clock!Copy !req
8. A whole bus-load of them.Copy !req
9. Hot tamales, it's a jackpot!
Soos, make some new attractions!Copy !req
10. You got it, boss! Where's the...Copy !req
11. Wendy! Mark up those prices!
The higher the better!Copy !req
12. Higher! Bleed 'em dry!Copy !req
13. Yeesh, Grunkle Stan!Copy !req
14. It's like when you look at tourists,
all you see are wallets with legs.Copy !req
15. That's not true.Copy !req
16. Thanks for taking me
to the Mystery Shack, Daddy!Copy !req
17. Now don't spend yourself
all in one place!Copy !req
18. I'm feeling car-sick!Copy !req
19. Clean-up on the front lawn!Copy !req
20. Ladies and gentle tourists,
looking around my Mystery Shack,Copy !req
21. you will see many
wondrous roadside attractions.Copy !req
22. Be amazed at the only known photo
of a horse riding another horse!Copy !req
23. That's... That's pretty good.Copy !req
24. - Oh!
- Wow!Copy !req
25. Be astounded
by the horrible pre-teen wolf-boy!Copy !req
26. Oh! Oh, look at him! All that hair!
His body's changing! Ah!Copy !req
27. Grunkle Stan, this is demeaning.Copy !req
28. What?
I don't know "de meaning" of that word!Copy !req
29. If you throw money at him, he dances.Copy !req
30. Ow! Hey!Copy !req
31. Thank you!Copy !req
32. Behold! Mystery Shack
bumper stickers!Copy !req
33. You can stick 'em on your bumper
or over your husband's mouth!Copy !req
34. Am I right, ladies?
She knows what I'm talkin' about.Copy !req
35. You are bad! How much?Copy !req
36. Hey! It's on the house.Copy !req
37. That's the Mabel difference!
Thanks for visiting!Copy !req
38. What!Copy !req
39. What the heck
do you think you're doing?Copy !req
40. Business! Ching, ching, ching!Copy !req
41. Listen, kid, you don't make money
by giving stuff away!Copy !req
42. - You're off of register duty!
- But...Copy !req
43. No buts except yours out the door!
Now shut your yap and get to work.Copy !req
44. Grunkle Stan, whatever happened
to "Please” and "Thank you?" Hmm?Copy !req
45. Oh, wait, here they are!Copy !req
46. Ugh! "Please" never made me
any money, kid.Copy !req
47. In fact, just saying the word
is giving me a burning sensation.Copy !req
48. Grunkle Stan, why do I have to wear
this wolf costume?Copy !req
49. I think I'm getting hookworm.Copy !req
50. Yeah, gluing dog hair to your body
will do that.Copy !req
51. You have all these dumb,
fake exhibits in the Shack.Copy !req
52. Meanwhile, I've seen actual
amazing things in the forest every day!Copy !req
53. What if you hunted down
a real attraction,Copy !req
54. instead of lying to people for a living?Copy !req
55. And you should be nicer
to your employees, too!Copy !req
56. Yeah!Copy !req
57. Look, you guys got a problem
with how I run the Shack,Copy !req
58. take it up with
the complaints department.Copy !req
59. Zing!Copy !req
60. I am going to write them such a letter.Copy !req
61. And don't stop till you've covered
that sign with glitter!Copy !req
62. Glittery signs attract tourists!
Also large birds!Copy !req
63. Ahhh!Copy !req
64. That's funny.Copy !req
65. Okay, is it just me,Copy !req
66. or is having Grunkle Stan as a boss
seriously the worst?Copy !req
67. I know, right?
Why do we even put up with it?Copy !req
68. I tried to give him a suggestion
to improve the Shack once.Copy !req
69. I had this idea where I could be, like,
the Mystery Shack mascot.Copy !req
70. Questiony the Question Mark.Copy !req
71. I'd ask people questions, you know,
do the question dance.Copy !req
72. That sounds amazing!Copy !req
73. - Oh, cool!
- Yeah, totally!Copy !req
74. Yeah, well,
Stan said I couldn't handle it.Copy !req
75. He said what!Copy !req
76. And remember, folks,
we put the "Fun" in "No refunds!”Copy !req
77. Ha-ha! Suckers.Copy !req
78. You!Copy !req
79. Grunkle Stan,
you've gone too far this time!Copy !req
80. Did you seriously tell SoosCopy !req
81. not to follow his hopes and dreams
because he "Couldn't handle it"?Copy !req
82. Look, kid, let me break it down for ya.Copy !req
83. Being a boss
is about commanding respect.Copy !req
84. If you give people everything
they ask for, they'll walk all over you.Copy !req
85. No way!Copy !req
86. I bet you'd make
way more money being niceCopy !req
87. than being a big, grumpy grump
to everyone all the time!Copy !req
88. Ha! You think you know
more about business than I do?Copy !req
89. You think you could wear this hat?Copy !req
90. Yeah! 'Cause I'd give people respect!
And glittery stickers!Copy !req
91. Ha! I'd make more money on vacation
than you would running this place.Copy !req
92. Then why don't you go on vacation?Copy !req
93. Interesting.
All right, I'm a wagering man.Copy !req
94. Three days, 72 hours.Copy !req
95. You run the Shack,
and I'll go on vacation.Copy !req
96. If you make more money than me,Copy !req
97. I guess it means you're right
about the way I run my business.Copy !req
98. But, if you lose, um, you gotta wear
this "Loser" shirt all summer.Copy !req
99. Fine! But if I win, I get to be the boss
for the rest of the summer.Copy !req
100. Plus, you have to sing
an apologizing song,Copy !req
101. with lyrics by me, Mabel.Copy !req
102. Oh-ho! You got yourself a deal, missy!Copy !req
103. - No, you got yourself a deal!
- Deal!Copy !req
104. - Deal!
- Deal!Copy !req
105. Deal!Copy !req
106. Deal.Copy !req
107. See you in 72 hours! Ha-ha!
We'll see who makes more money.Copy !req
108. Mabel, did you just make a bet
with a professional con-man?Copy !req
109. Oh, come on.Copy !req
110. Being a better boss
than Stan will be a cinch!Copy !req
111. Profit, here we come!Copy !req
112. - You broke the jar.
- We'll get a new one.Copy !req
113. I guess I shouldn't be too worried.Copy !req
114. I mean, how much money
could Stan even make on vacation?Copy !req
115. Can I help you, sir?Copy !req
116. I'm here to take
all the cash from your wheel.Copy !req
117. You wanted to see us, Mr. Pines?Copy !req
118. Stan is no longer with us.Copy !req
119. He's dead? No! It should have been me!Copy !req
120. Whoa! Soos, Stan's not dead.
He's on vacation for three days.Copy !req
121. We made a bet.Copy !req
122. Thank you for that clarification.Copy !req
123. Mabel's in charge now!Copy !req
124. Are those shoulder pads?Copy !req
125. Uh-huh.Copy !req
126. It's just one of the many
up-to-date managerial tricksCopy !req
127. I learned from this book I found
propping up the kitchen table.Copy !req
128. Why does your mug say "Number two"?Copy !req
129. Because the real number one is you.Copy !req
130. - I get it!
- Morale!Copy !req
131. Walk with me.Copy !req
132. With me as boss, you're gonna notice
a few changes around here.Copy !req
133. My job is to help you be
your best S.E.L.V.E.S.Copy !req
134. Great listening ears so far.Copy !req
135. Waddles, hold my calls.Copy !req
136. All right, people, now rap with me.Copy !req
137. Wendy, how can I make
your workspace more Wendy-friendly?Copy !req
138. Hmm, well, Stan never lets me hang out
with friends at work.Copy !req
139. Stan ain't here, sister. Door's open!Copy !req
140. - Sweet!
- And, Soos! I believe this is yours.Copy !req
141. Questiony the Question Mark!Copy !req
142. I wish this was an exclamation point
to show how excited I am.Copy !req
143. As for you, Dipper...Copy !req
144. Die, wolf costume! Die!Copy !req
145. I want you to head into those woodsCopy !req
146. and don't come back until you've found
an amazing attraction.Copy !req
147. Finally! Time to show Stan
how a real mystery hunter does it!Copy !req
148. Dipper out! Ahhh!Copy !req
149. Okay, guys, it's time to prove
that nice bosses finish first.Copy !req
150. In the next 48 hours,Copy !req
151. we're gonna fill up this jar
with $600 billion!Copy !req
152. Yeah!Copy !req
153. Wait, do you know how money works?Copy !req
154. Of course.Copy !req
155. Waddles, run down to the shop
and grab me a latte.Copy !req
156. He's a hungry little guy!Copy !req
157. Ugh, this line is taking forever!
Time to use my old-man powers.Copy !req
158. Ahhh! I'm having a heart attack!Copy !req
159. And the only cure is to be
a contestant on Cash Wheel.Copy !req
160. Oh! Someone give me a part! I'm old!Copy !req
161. Should we escort him off the lot?Copy !req
162. That man is
a self-centered attention hogCopy !req
163. with no regard for human decency.Copy !req
164. Get him on TV!Copy !req
165. Whoa! Yeah!
Come on, girlsCopy !req
166. Shoulder pads!Copy !req
167. Make that moneyCopy !req
168. Mabel's the boss nowCopy !req
169. Working girls Show the boysCopy !req
170. Make the moneyCopy !req
171. Timecards! Timecards! Timecards!Copy !req
172. Boss, boss, boss!Copy !req
173. It's beautiful!Copy !req
174. Thank you! Oh-ho, see you soon!
Tell 'em Mabel sent you!Copy !req
175. Mabel, I captured something!
This is gonna blow those tourists away!Copy !req
176. Marvelous work, valued employee!Copy !req
177. Who's that?
Is it Questiony the Question Mark?Copy !req
178. Uh, I'm starting to have second thoughts
about this, Mabel.Copy !req
179. I keep forgetting my lines,Copy !req
180. and this costume is more revealing
than I expected.Copy !req
181. Soos, don't give up.Copy !req
182. Anything is possible when you,Copy !req
183. "Imaginize it."Copy !req
184. But I don't know what that means.Copy !req
185. Believe in yourself!Copy !req
186. But I...Copy !req
187. So... So cold.Copy !req
188. How's my favorite Wendy?Copy !req
189. - Yeah, okay, all right.
- Look out! Look out!Copy !req
190. Yeah! Keep it going!Copy !req
191. Oh, what's this?Copy !req
192. Billy! Your face! It's ruined!Copy !req
193. I'm so sorry! Please, have a refund.Copy !req
194. Wendy, you've got
a lot of cleaning up to do.Copy !req
195. Please?Copy !req
196. Whoa, all this rule stuff's
starting to make you sound like Stan.Copy !req
197. What? No! I'm nothing like Stan!Copy !req
198. In fact, take the rest of the day off?Copy !req
199. With full pay?Copy !req
200. Of course!Copy !req
201. Mabel Pines,
you are the best boss ever.Copy !req
202. I'm Questiony the Question Mark!Copy !req
203. Ahhh!Copy !req
204. Oh, dude! It stings so bad!Copy !req
205. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to...Copy !req
206. Cash Wheel!Copy !req
207. Now let's meet those contestants!Copy !req
208. I'm Doug, from Fairfield, California!Copy !req
209. I'm Donna, from...Copy !req
210. I'm Stan! Stan Pines!Copy !req
211. Did we already do me? Hello, I'm Stan.Copy !req
212. Okay, well.
It's gonna be a long night, folks.Copy !req
213. It's time to...Copy !req
214. It's time to solve that puzzle. Carla!Copy !req
215. - Yes, Rich?
- Are there any S's?Copy !req
216. Actually, it's not your turn yet...Copy !req
217. I'm ready to solve.Copy !req
218. No, the game hasn't started.Copy !req
219. Is it "Shut your yaps"?Copy !req
220. Well played!Copy !req
221. Cash shower,
cash shower, cash shower!Copy !req
222. Cash shower!Copy !req
223. Yes!Copy !req
224. Mr. Pines, no!
You don't need to take your clothes off!Copy !req
225. No! Go to commercial!
Go to commercial!Copy !req
226. Ladies and gentlemen!Copy !req
227. My name's Honest Dipper,
and unlike my cheating uncle,Copy !req
228. I have something to show you
that isn't a hoax!Copy !req
229. It nearly killed me
getting him into that cage. Behold!Copy !req
230. Part gremlin, part goblin.
The gremloblin!Copy !req
231. Well, that's fun!Copy !req
232. It's fake, honey.
You can see the strings!Copy !req
233. What? Those aren't strings!
That's body hair!Copy !req
234. Ah, look at this,
dear, the six-pack-a-lope.Copy !req
235. Wordplay!Copy !req
236. No, everything else here is fake.Copy !req
237. This is a real paranormal beast.Copy !req
238. Hey, fun fact about this little guy,Copy !req
239. if you look into his eyes,
you can see your worst nightmare.Copy !req
240. Amazing, right? I work for tips.Copy !req
241. Thanks again for visiting!Copy !req
242. Thanks for shopping with us!
I'll get that!Copy !req
243. Here ya go!Copy !req
244. Sorry! Have a refund!
That's the Mabel Difference!Copy !req
245. Well, I just made two people go insane.
How about you?Copy !req
246. I'm so tired.Copy !req
247. I gave Wendy the day off,
so I had to do her job.Copy !req
248. Well, maybe you need to start being
a little bit tougher around here?Copy !req
249. No way! That's what Stan would do!Copy !req
250. I just need to think positive, be friendly,
and everything will work out fine!Copy !req
251. What?Copy !req
252. How did he get out of his locked cage?Copy !req
253. Well...Copy !req
254. Huh?Copy !req
255. You gave him a break?Copy !req
256. He's an employee! Sort of.Copy !req
257. We gotta round him up! Where's Soos?Copy !req
258. He was stressed out, so I told him
to take a soothing nature walk!Copy !req
259. Hello? Civilization?Copy !req
260. Doggie?Copy !req
261. Ladies and gentlemen, Stan Pines is
poised to become our grand champion.Copy !req
262. Anything to say to your fans out there?Copy !req
263. See you tomorrow night, Mabel!Copy !req
264. What do we do?Copy !req
265. He's awarding himself stickers
that he didn't even earn!Copy !req
266. Uh... Got it! "When fighting a gremloblin,
use water...Copy !req
267. "...only as a last resort, as water
will make him much, much scarier."Copy !req
268. Who writes sentences like that!Copy !req
269. Don't worry.
He's gotta leave eventually.Copy !req
270. I'm the singin' salmon
Spending all day jammin'Copy !req
271. I'm the singin' salmon
Spending all day jammin'Copy !req
272. I'm the singin' salmon
Spending all day jammin'Copy !req
273. Ugh! Why doesn't he just leave?Copy !req
274. - Our profits!
- Mabel! Wait!Copy !req
275. Stop! Stop!Copy !req
276. Oh!Copy !req
277. Don't look into his evil eye.
You'll see your worst nightmare!Copy !req
278. I wish we had an evil eye to show him.
Oh, no!Copy !req
279. Wait! Hey, Monster!Copy !req
280. Take a look at this!Copy !req
281. Well, at least he didn't do
that much damage.Copy !req
282. Oh, boy.Copy !req
283. Dipper! It's the third day!Copy !req
284. We've only got seven hours
to earn back our profits,Copy !req
285. or I've got to wear
that loser shirt all summer.Copy !req
286. Hey, guys! Am I nuts,
or does this place look different?Copy !req
287. Wendy! Soos! Am I glad to see you!Copy !req
288. We've got a lot of work to do,
but if we hurry, we can still beat Stan.Copy !req
289. Uh... Yeah, I've got a little headache,
so maybe I should, like, not work today.Copy !req
290. And I actually just met
this pack of wolves,Copy !req
291. and I think they're gonna, like,
raise me as one of their own.Copy !req
292. So I should really be
at the den right now.Copy !req
293. - But...
- But, hey, we'll see you on Monday!Copy !req
294. Uh, BT-dubs,
is anyone gonna eat these?Copy !req
295. Enough!Copy !req
296. I have had it!Copy !req
297. I fought a monster
to save this business,Copy !req
298. and this how you repay me?Copy !req
299. I'm gonna get an ulcer
from your lollygagging!Copy !req
300. Lollygagging?Copy !req
301. Ulcer? You're acting different.Copy !req
302. You shut your yaps!Copy !req
303. I've been doing everyone's jobs,Copy !req
304. while you bums
have been bleeding me dry!Copy !req
305. - But...
- No buts,Copy !req
306. except yours on the floor, cleaning.
Now quit loafing and get to work!Copy !req
307. Yes, Mabel.Copy !req
308. That's "Yes, boss"!Copy !req
309. Dipper, what have I become?Copy !req
310. What you had to, Mabel.
What you had to.Copy !req
311. We've got seven hours
to turn this around!Copy !req
312. Let's go, people!Copy !req
313. You landed on Cash Flood!Copy !req
314. I'm giving none of this to charity!Copy !req
315. And now you can go home
a thousand-aire,Copy !req
316. or you could risk everything to
double your money with a bonus word!Copy !req
317. Rich, I'm a simple man.Copy !req
318. So I'm going to take my winnings,Copy !req
319. pack my bags,
and bet them all on the bonus word!Copy !req
320. Come on!Copy !req
321. Time is money, hard-head!Copy !req
322. You got complaints,
file 'em with the complaint department!Copy !req
323. My back.Copy !req
324. Dipper! We got tourists at nine o'clock!Copy !req
325. But what do I show them?
Real magic just freaks people out!Copy !req
326. Figure something out, knucklehead!Copy !req
327. Ladies and gentle-tourists!
This Shack is filled with wondersCopy !req
328. never before seen by human eyes.Copy !req
329. Behold! The horrible
giant Question Baby!Copy !req
330. Am I man? Am I baby?
These are legitimate questions.Copy !req
331. Have your picture taken
with it for a buck...Copy !req
332. Uh... Ten bucks! A hundred bucks!Copy !req
333. We put the "Fun” in "No refunds"!Copy !req
334. - How'd we do?
- We filled the whole jar!Copy !req
335. Minus the money
to replace all the furniture,Copy !req
336. supplies to fix the Shack,
that leaves us...Copy !req
337. $1.Copy !req
338. Tick-tock! Time's up, kids.Copy !req
339. Oh, no!Copy !req
340. Nice to see you learned
how to dress while I was gone.Copy !req
341. How much did you beat us by?Copy !req
342. I won $300,000.Copy !req
343. And then...Copy !req
344. For a chance
to double your cash or lose it all,Copy !req
345. what is a six-letter word you use
to ask for something politely?Copy !req
346. For example, "May I blank have that?"Copy !req
347. Do I look like an idiot, folks?
The word is "Gimmee", two Es.Copy !req
348. Ooh!Copy !req
349. You know,
because you've gone this far,Copy !req
350. we're gonna give you one more chance.Copy !req
351. Let's try again. It's a "P" word.Copy !req
352. Some might even say
it's the "Magic word."Copy !req
353. Pabracadabra. Final answer.Copy !req
354. I'm sorry, Stan, but the word is...Copy !req
355. "Please."Copy !req
356. Apparently that word
can make you money.Copy !req
357. So wait, if you lost everything,
then that means, Mabel, you won!Copy !req
358. - Whoo!
- You did it.Copy !req
359. Wait, what did we win again?Copy !req
360. Well, according to our bet,
I guess Mabel's the new boss?Copy !req
361. - No.
- No.Copy !req
362. - Please don't.
- Don't do that.Copy !req
363. Huh, what?Copy !req
364. Grunkle Stan, I had no idea
how hard it was being boss!Copy !req
365. This place was coo-coo bananasCopy !req
366. until I started barking orders
at people like you.Copy !req
367. Yeah, well, I gotta admit,Copy !req
368. it's kinda nice to be back, ya know?Copy !req
369. Okay, okay, that's enough! Get offa me.Copy !req
370. And, Soos, Wendy,Copy !req
371. get to work!Copy !req
372. Ahem.Copy !req
373. Please. Still hurts.Copy !req
374. Mabel, didn't your agreement
say something aboutCopy !req
375. Stan having to do
some kind of apology dance if he lost?Copy !req
376. No. No, it didn't!Copy !req
377. Actually, yeah,
I think I have it in my notes here.Copy !req
378. No! That never happened!Copy !req
379. Ha-ha! I'll get the camera!Copy !req
380. All right. Let me just...Copy !req
381. Grunkle Stan!Copy !req
382. Look, I'm not gonna...Copy !req
383. Do it!Copy !req
384. I'm Stan, and I was wrong
I'm singing the Stan wrong songCopy !req
385. I shouldn't have taken that chance
Now here's my remorseful danceCopy !req
386. Do the kicks!Copy !req
387. Jazzier!Copy !req
388. Hey! Give me that!Copy !req
389. My back.Copy !req
390. What do you think?Copy !req
391. Take 301Copy !req