1. All right, pork chop,
I got to get some stuff done,Copy !req
2. so the TV's gonna babysit
for a while, okay?Copy !req
3. Let's see what we got.
(Edie jabbering)Copy !req
4. Oh, look, look, look, look.Copy !req
5. This is a show
called Fruitville Friends.Copy !req
6. Looks pretty dumb,
but your dad saysCopy !req
7. I can't show you The Sopranos.Copy !req
8. So here. Enjoy the fruit.
(jabbering)Copy !req
9. Banana, yippee-yo, yippee-yay.Copy !req
10. Wait. Is that banana voice
by Snoop Dogg?Copy !req
11. It sounds like Snoop Dogg,
doesn't it?Copy !req
12. Let's get bizzle, my fo shizzle.
Well, that's pretty cool.Copy !req
13. I wonder if anyone else
had noticed that.Copy !req
14. Da.
Yeah. I love Snoop Dogg.Copy !req
15. Look at them—
they're doing CrossFit,Copy !req
16. but they're calling it
CrossFruit.Copy !req
17. CrossFruit.
Yeah, smart stuff.Copy !req
18. It's like there's a whole level
that's just for adults.Copy !req
19. I wonder if they do that
on purpose.Copy !req
20. Almond Schwarzenegger.Copy !req
21. Hmm. No, don't turn that.
I want to see this.Copy !req
22. This is good.Copy !req
23. Did that bunch of grapesCopy !req
24. just ask those melons
if they're real?Copy !req
25. That's racy.Copy !req
26. Now that's juicy.Copy !req
27. That's not a bad-looking fruit,
actually.Copy !req
28. Oh, right, it's dinnertime.Copy !req
29. Just, uh,
go get whatever you wantCopy !req
30. out of the fridge.
Go ahead.Copy !req
31. best in the state.Copy !req
32. (audio stops)
That's it?Copy !req
33. The whole series ends
with the screen going black?Copy !req
34. N-Now I'll never know what
happened to Tony Strawberry.Copy !req
35. This is insane.Copy !req
36. Oh...Copy !req
37. See what they did there?Copy !req
38. It's the same ending
as The Sopranos.Copy !req
39. (chuckles): Oh, God. Fruitville
Friends does it again.Copy !req
40. My trouble is, you know,
figuring out a wayCopy !req
41. for Vanessa to see me as more
than a friend, you know?Copy !req
42. Ignore her. Girls thinks
that's super romantic.Copy !req
43. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What the hell is this?Copy !req
44. You're taking romance advice
from this prepubescent ninja?Copy !req
45. Nice try.
Post-pubescent.
Jordan's my friend.Copy !req
46. He lives next-door.
Gerald,Copy !req
47. you have me now, all right?Copy !req
48. Let me give you advice on girls,Copy !req
49. and let Jordan
give you adviceCopy !req
50. on how to karate chop
a lampshade.Copy !req
51. Gentlemen, forgive me
for interrupting the think tank.Copy !req
52. Gerald, you
should let meCopy !req
53. set you up with my friend Heidi
from work.Copy !req
54. Never let your mother
set you up.
She's really
smart, she's nice,Copy !req
55. she's got a PhD,
she was in the Peace Corps.Copy !req
56. So she's not hot?Copy !req
57. Oh, my God, Gerald,
you need to go out with her.Copy !req
58. This looks like a girl thatCopy !req
59. you two nerds designed
in a computer.Copy !req
60. Sorry. Not interested.Copy !req
61. Got to go.Copy !req
62. Sure is terrible that Gerald
(door closes)Copy !req
63. isn't interested in your hot,
smart coworker.Copy !req
64. Oh, ho-ho, no,
no, no, no.Copy !req
65. Come on, fix me up with her.
No.Copy !req
66. What? Why?
Because I like her,Copy !req
67. and she's out
of your league.Copy !req
68. (scoffs)
Out of my league?Copy !req
69. I'm a catch.
I have sophistication,Copy !req
70. I have class.Copy !req
71. Let me read your last
ten text messages.Copy !req
72. It's not my fault
if a girl wants to send me
pictures of her butt.Copy !req
73. Give it up, Jimmy.Copy !req
74. She wouldn't be into you.Copy !req
75. What's that supposed to mean?Copy !req
76. And-and if you recall,
you used to be into me.Copy !req
77. I also used to drink
Jagermeister for breakfast.Copy !req
78. The two may or may not
be related.Copy !req
79. What's her name?Copy !req
80. Diane Never-gonna-
happen-stein.Copy !req
81. I love Jewish girls.
What's her number?Copy !req
82. (groans) You're really not
gonna give up, are you?Copy !req
83. Never.
Fine. Here's her number.Copy !req
84. (sighs)
Watch the pro work.Copy !req
85. Out of my league.Copy !req
86. Give it up, Jimmy.Copy !req
87. And how can you
not know my number?Copy !req
88. We have a child together.Copy !req
89. All right, when Sara comes out
to reception, stall her.Copy !req
90. I'm gonna go in back
and try to track this girl down.Copy !req
91. Any questions?
Yes.Copy !req
92. What the hell are you thinking?Copy !req
93. Sara thinks this girl's
out of my league.Copy !req
94. Can you believe that?
I'm gonna meet this girl,Copy !req
95. I'm gonna prove Sara wrong.
Any other questions?Copy !req
96. Yes. When you said
my job would be 90%
restaurant-related,Copy !req
97. were you mistaken
or just lying?Copy !req
98. Always assume I'm lying.
Nice shirt, by the way.Copy !req
99. Thanks.Copy !req
100. (quietly):
Wait.Copy !req
101. Annelise.Copy !req
102. What are you doing here?Copy !req
103. Jimmy's in your office.Copy !req
104. I'm not doing this.Copy !req
105. Jimmy.Copy !req
106. What are you doing?Copy !req
107. Hacking into your mainframe.Copy !req
108. I've got to find Heidi's office.Copy !req
109. Where's the open Apple key?Copy !req
110. This is highly unethical.Copy !req
111. Do you think I like
committing cyber crime? I don't.Copy !req
112. But I'll do it to find love;
I'll do it to find my Amal.Copy !req
113. You're what?
My Ama... The woman
who tamed George Clooney.Copy !req
114. I want to find that woman
to tame me— Amal Alamud... din.Copy !req
115. You do not want to find
your Amal Alamuddin.Copy !req
116. You just want what
you don't have.Copy !req
117. That's not true.
And if you're not willingCopy !req
118. to help me find my personal
improvement and self growth,Copy !req
119. then I'm gonna sit here
and work on your computer.Copy !req
120. Fine, you win! Come on.
Good.Copy !req
121. And you did not hack
into my mainframe,Copy !req
122. you typed "mainframe"
into a word document.Copy !req
123. Heidi?Copy !req
124. Hey, Heidi, remember
when you saidCopy !req
125. you were willing to be set up.
This is Jimmy.Copy !req
126. This is your son?Copy !req
127. Yes.
No. My son is a
25-year-old man.Copy !req
128. This is a 50-year-old boy.Copy !req
129. Okay, sure. Why not?
He's attractive.Copy !req
130. Oh, thank you.
And seeing as I'm in the middleCopy !req
131. of a session, there's really no
graceful way to get out of it.Copy !req
132. See? This is exactly
what I'm talking about.Copy !req
133. I feel like
I'm invisible to everyone.Copy !req
134. I-I see you,
and I like your shirt.Copy !req
135. Thank you.Copy !req
136. And you are attractive.Copy !req
137. (quietly):
Okay. Okay.Copy !req
138. Come in.
Hey.Copy !req
139. Hey. Have a seat. I'm just
pulling up Edie's calendar.Copy !req
140. So... yeah,Copy !req
141. it's a pretty typical month;
no real curveballs.Copy !req
142. Oh, uh, do you still have to be
in court next MondayCopy !req
143. for selling those library books?Copy !req
144. Do you want to have sex?
Okay.Copy !req
145. Dope.Copy !req
146. Dude! Someone's
got some new moves.Copy !req
147. Well, that's 'cause someone read
a book about female sexualityCopy !req
148. that was recommended
in Lena Dunham's newsletter.Copy !req
149. Oh, burned, like, 200 calories.Copy !req
150. I'm gonna have some chocolate.Copy !req
151. So, hey...Copy !req
152. you know, I've
been thinking.Copy !req
153. Dating as a single parent
really sucks, right?Copy !req
154. It's hard to
find free time.Copy !req
155. And then when you do
have free time,Copy !req
156. it's weird bringing
random guys around Edie.Copy !req
157. How random?
But then it gets so lonely.Copy !req
158. The nights can be so cold.Copy !req
159. Maybe the answer's right here.Copy !req
160. (quietly):
Oh, my God, it's happening.Copy !req
161. G?
Yeah?Copy !req
162. You want to meet up for sex
a few times a week?Copy !req
163. I'm sorry, what?
You know, meet up, get it on,Copy !req
164. and just go about our lives,
like...Copy !req
165. friends with benefits
who had a surprise baby.Copy !req
166. (laughs):
Yes. Perfect.Copy !req
167. I mean, who wants to be
in a relationship?Copy !req
168. Not this sex machine.Copy !req
169. Right?Copy !req
170. Yeah.Copy !req
171. It's Code Amal here, people.Copy !req
172. Let's step it up!Copy !req
173. Anyone who doesn't want Jimmy
to find love tonight,Copy !req
174. get out of my kitchen.
I used to
date Jimmy.Copy !req
175. Yes, you've managed to tell me
that easily hundreds of times.Copy !req
176. He used to tell me
that I was his Amal.Copy !req
177. In 1995?Copy !req
178. Are you calling me a liar?Copy !req
179. They're here.
White Victor.Copy !req
180. Ready to watch
a master at work?Copy !req
181. I think you'll enjoy
tonight's wine selection.Copy !req
182. A Bordeaux bottled
June 8, 1980—Copy !req
183. That's my birthday.
No!Copy !req
184. That's very sweet.Copy !req
185. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
186. And the wine seems lovely.Copy !req
187. Uh, it is.Copy !req
188. $300.Copy !req
189. Time for the Kobe beef routine.Copy !req
190. Pure genius.Copy !req
191. Ooh, the Kobe beef!Copy !req
192. Cindy, are you okay?
Oh.Copy !req
193. I'm so sorry!
I just ruined your Kobe beef!Copy !req
194. I don't care about
the Kobe beef.Copy !req
195. Are you all right?
Yeah.Copy !req
196. Okay, and how's your sick
grandmother, Alice?Copy !req
197. Who?
Okay, okay.Copy !req
198. Oh.Copy !req
199. And last but not least,
we send in the closer.Copy !req
200. Plot twist— he's been standing
next to you the whole time.Copy !req
201. (quietly):
Me.Copy !req
202. I'm so sorry!Copy !req
203. A V.I.P. is outside
and wants to say hello.Copy !req
204. Excuse me, I have
a V.I.P. right here.Copy !req
205. It's Lionel Richie!Copy !req
206. I don't care.Copy !req
207. Can I meet Lionel Richie?Copy !req
208. No, he doesn't want
to meet you.Copy !req
209. Hey, Ravi!
Hey.Copy !req
210. Hey, did last night go
as well as it seemed?Copy !req
211. I trust my meat loaf
was an aphrodisiac?Copy !req
212. I just texted her
for a second date.Copy !req
213. Hey, how'd it go with Vanessa?Copy !req
214. Well, I'm not really
one to kiss and tell.Copy !req
215. Yeah, who am I kidding?Copy !req
216. I already told everyone
on the bus over here.Copy !req
217. We had sex!Copy !req
218. Attaboy!Copy !req
219. Look at this,
the Martino brothers on fire.Copy !req
220. Yeah, except my last
name's not Martino.Copy !req
221. And we're not brothers.Copy !req
222. Uh, but here's the thing—
she just wantsCopy !req
223. to keep having sex and
not be in a relationship.Copy !req
224. I'm so proud of you.Copy !req
225. Oh, whoa.Copy !req
226. Did you hear that?Copy !req
227. She wants to use
him for his body.Copy !req
228. But I want to use me
for my heart, too.Copy !req
229. What...?
You've got to be kidding.Copy !req
230. I'm just not sure I can
turn off my feelings.Copy !req
231. Well, it's simple—
listen to your instinctsCopy !req
232. and go the exact opposite.Copy !req
233. What are your instincts
telling you?Copy !req
234. Um, come here and have RaviCopy !req
235. help me bake a loaf
of fresh bread for Vanessa?Copy !req
236. Terrible idea.
Don't do that.Copy !req
237. Oh, maybe it's Heidi.Copy !req
238. Yes.Copy !req
239. Nice, Dad!Copy !req
240. No, not nice.Copy !req
241. Why not?Copy !req
242. I mean, she's definitely
gonna let you know.Copy !req
243. And knowing's
half the battle.Copy !req
244. See, she's saying she's busy.Copy !req
245. Fake enthusiasm.Copy !req
246. (groans)
Exclamation points.Copy !req
247. That's a textbook blow-off.Copy !req
248. Everything okay, Jimmy?Copy !req
249. What?
Yeah, I'm fine, fine.Copy !req
250. Well, it sounds like she
really loved my meat loaf.Copy !req
251. Maybe I should
make a run at her.Copy !req
252. Heidi turned me down
for a second date.Copy !req
253. Yeah, that's
what I said would happen.Copy !req
254. Look at me—
I'm a wreck.Copy !req
255. I'm binging on ice cream.Copy !req
256. That's
not ice cream.Copy !req
257. That's a tiny fat-free
Italian ice.Copy !req
258. And stop
acting heartbroken.Copy !req
259. You only like HeidiCopy !req
260. because she doesn't like you.Copy !req
261. That's not true!Copy !req
262. She's different.Copy !req
263. She's smart.
She's accomplished.Copy !req
264. What the heck's
the matter with her?Copy !req
265. What?
Hey, Heidi.Copy !req
266. Sorry if I came across
as an arrogant,Copy !req
267. flashy dope last night.Copy !req
268. Hey, give me that!
What are you doing?
Just...Copy !req
269. Ah...Copy !req
270. I would love to start over.Copy !req
271. Dinner tonight?Copy !req
272. (phone chimes)
Hey!Copy !req
273. There you go.Copy !req
274. Godspeed.Copy !req
275. What magic was that?Copy !req
276. Wait, don't go!Copy !req
277. (stammers)
Now what do I do?Copy !req
278. I can't help you.
I have an errand to run.Copy !req
279. All right,
I'll go with you.Copy !req
280. Really?
Yep.Copy !req
281. Got another shot at this.Copy !req
282. I don't want
to blow it again.Copy !req
283. Where's the errand?Copy !req
284. Palm Springs.Copy !req
285. Palm Springs,
Palm Springs?Copy !req
286. All right, got this.
Be cool.Copy !req
287. It's just casual sex.Copy !req
288. Wow, you look...
(clears his throat)Copy !req
289. So, you're just not gonna
finish that sentence?Copy !req
290. So?Copy !req
291. I didn't bake you any bread.Copy !req
292. Um, okay.Copy !req
293. That's right.Copy !req
294. No bread, just sex.Copy !req
295. Got it, pal?Copy !req
296. Are you broken?
What's happening?Copy !req
297. What's happening is that
I'm gonna obliterate you.Copy !req
298. (stammers)
I'm sorry.Copy !req
299. I'm just tryingCopy !req
300. to fight my instincts here.Copy !req
301. I'm-I'm a bit of a romantic.Copy !req
302. Just relax, okay?Copy !req
303. Be yourself.Copy !req
304. Yeah.
Okay. (beep)Copy !req
305. Um, yeah.Copy !req
306. You know, I just got a text.Copy !req
307. My mom.Copy !req
308. She wants me
to go pick up Edie.Copy !req
309. Maybe we try
this again later, maybe.Copy !req
310. What is wrong with me?Copy !req
311. Come on, your friends with her.Copy !req
312. Tell me what to do
on the date tonight.Copy !req
313. Give me some bullet points.Copy !req
314. No, there are no bullet
points, I'm sorry.Copy !req
315. You want me to drop you
off at the outlets?Copy !req
316. You know what it is?Copy !req
317. You don't want
to give me advice,Copy !req
318. because you don't
want me to find anyone.Copy !req
319. (laughs)
Yeah, that's right.Copy !req
320. I just want to keep
you all to myself.Copy !req
321. Turn this air on.Copy !req
322. My-my sweat is
staining out my shirt.Copy !req
323. Okay, wait, now, don't
turn it above twoCopy !req
324. or the car will blow up.Copy !req
325. Why are we going
to Palm Springs anyway?Copy !req
326. I got to get back.Copy !req
327. I am going to Palm SpringsCopy !req
328. because of a lovely woman
from the InternetCopy !req
329. who is selling the exact
hand wheel clutchCopy !req
330. I need for my
sewing machine.Copy !req
331. You know what I just heard—
grandma, grandma,Copy !req
332. hand wheel clutch, grandma,
grandma, machine.Copy !req
333. Yeah, well, see?Copy !req
334. That's the difference
between you and me.Copy !req
335. I own who I am.Copy !req
336. I am a grandmother.Copy !req
337. Clearly, your blinker's
been on for 25 minutes.Copy !req
338. Yeah, well, good,
because we're just aboutCopy !req
339. to make a turn
in 40 miles.Copy !req
340. Ah-ha, ah-ha.
You know what?Copy !req
341. This is your problem
with Heidi.Copy !req
342. What?Copy !req
343. You are obsessed
with presentingCopy !req
344. this perfect image,
instead of being authentic.Copy !req
345. Really?
Yeah, your clothing,Copy !req
346. your personality,Copy !req
347. that ridiculous story
that you always tellCopy !req
348. about why you can't
be around dogs.Copy !req
349. That is a real story.
No.Copy !req
350. And a fan favorite.Copy !req
351. Please, you actually
pulled a stray dogCopy !req
352. Mm-hmm.
out of a storm drainCopy !req
353. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
354. and bottle fed it
all night?Copy !req
355. Yes, and I held it
in my arms until he died.Copy !req
356. Dr. Kirkbaum said
he had dog cancer.Copy !req
357. After little Blackie, I refuse
to get attached to any other...Copy !req
358. Okay, it's fake.Copy !req
359. Ha! I knew it!Copy !req
360. You're ridiculous.Copy !req
361. You're ridiculous.Copy !req
362. Look, how do you expect
to find your AmalCopy !req
363. if you can't even be real?Copy !req
364. You're always Mr. Never
Let Them See You Sweat.Copy !req
365. No, that's your own personal axe
to grind with me.Copy !req
366. Hey, look, you
asked my advice.Copy !req
367. You jumped in my car.Copy !req
368. Your hot car.
(beeping)Copy !req
369. Is it hot?
Yeah.Copy !req
370. I mean,
let's turn this thing up.Copy !req
371. Don't do that.
Look at my shirt.Copy !req
372. I said don't put it above two.
I'm sweating my shirt...Copy !req
373. It's-it's two and a half,
it's...
Stop! Car can't...Copy !req
374. I'm guessing you're
not pulling over to make out.Copy !req
375. Yep, just what I thought.Copy !req
376. Looks like it was the dumb-ass
standing next to me.Copy !req
377. Here.
(clears his throat)Copy !req
378. Will this help?Copy !req
379. You are unbelievable.Copy !req
380. All right, stand back.Copy !req
381. Please.Copy !req
382. All right, yeah.Copy !req
383. Interesting.
Interesting.Copy !req
384. Are you just using
the hood for shade?Copy !req
385. Well, I do have a date tonight.Copy !req
386. Okay, see that
silver cap?
Yeah.Copy !req
387. All right, unscrew that and
tell me if it's empty in there.Copy !req
388. Give me your shirt.
What?Copy !req
389. I need a rag.
This is not a rag.Copy !req
390. It's not a shirt.
(gasps)Copy !req
391. All right, I'll be
the bigger man here.Copy !req
392. Aha!Copy !req
393. Empty.Copy !req
394. Thank you.Copy !req
395. Come on.
Where we going?Copy !req
396. We need coolant, and there's
a gas station two miles up.Copy !req
397. Are you using me
for shade?Copy !req
398. Well, you were blessed with
a big head. Share your gift.Copy !req
399. Come on. Come on, race
you there. Come on!Copy !req
400. Hey.Copy !req
401. Hey, are you sure
you want to try this again?Copy !req
402. (laughing):
Oh, oh!Copy !req
403. I think I can smell wine
coming out of your pores.Copy !req
404. How many glasses did
you have last night?Copy !req
405. How many are
in two bottles?Copy !req
406. What? Grandmas like
their Chardonnay.Copy !req
407. Come on,
pick up the pace.Copy !req
408. My legs are cramping. I'm
hungry. Do you have food?Copy !req
409. I have a granola bar.Copy !req
410. How much sugar
does it have in it?Copy !req
411. (groans)
What?Copy !req
412. (laughs)
What are you
laughing at?Copy !req
413. Look at you!Copy !req
414. You remember
Rambo III?
Of course.Copy !req
415. Okay, remember
how you thoughtCopy !req
416. that was gonna be the movie
of the century?
Was.Copy !req
417. You made us camp
outside the theaterCopy !req
418. for, like, 18 hours
in that hot little tent.
(laughs)Copy !req
419. Uh-huh, I remember.Copy !req
420. You got so gross
and sweaty.Copy !req
421. Worth it.
No, it was not
worth it.Copy !req
422. No one else camped out,
and that theater was empty.Copy !req
423. My point is,
you're kind of reminding meCopy !req
424. of that sweaty tent guy.Copy !req
425. In a good way.Copy !req
426. You know, it's nice to see you
a little rough around the edges.Copy !req
427. Thank you.Copy !req
428. You know, it's
difficult for me becauseCopy !req
429. the women I date expect a
certain level of polish.Copy !req
430. Oh, shut up!
Gas station!Copy !req
431. (groans)
What, do I have
to carry you?Copy !req
432. That is not a sincere offer.Copy !req
433. All right, so, uh, when
do you want to meet up again?Copy !req
434. Hold on. When did you
get so good at this?Copy !req
435. Well, I found a way
to get my emotionsCopy !req
436. out of my system
before you came over.Copy !req
437. Yeah, first,
I watched some videosCopy !req
438. of soldiers reuniting
with their dogs.Copy !req
439. Cried my eyes out.Copy !req
440. Then, I busted out
some videos of deaf peopleCopy !req
441. hearing for the first time?
Cried even more.Copy !req
442. I'm dead inside.
Cool. I just
watch porn.Copy !req
443. Think you got another round
in you before Edie's up?Copy !req
444. Yeah, you bet.Copy !req
445. Just gonna watch
Susan Boyle's first audition,Copy !req
446. and I'll be right back.Copy !req
447. (roars)
Yeah.Copy !req
448. You know what? I'm gonna...
I'm gonna stay here.Copy !req
449. You go inside
and get the coolant.Copy !req
450. What? Why?Copy !req
451. Well, because of
the dog? Seriously?Copy !req
452. Yes.
Well...Copy !req
453. Oh, my God, run!
Really?Copy !req
454. No! It's a basset hound,
and it's on a pink leash.Copy !req
455. I'm afraid
of dogs, okay?Copy !req
456. That's why I don't want
to be around 'em.Copy !req
457. There was no Blackie. There was
a Pumpkin, and he bit me.Copy !req
458. I was at a Little League game,Copy !req
459. taking a leak
behind the bleachers.Copy !req
460. And all of a sudden, out
of nowhere, this dog comes upCopy !req
461. and bites me
right in the ass.Copy !req
462. Yikes.
I ran off
with a...Copy !req
463. with my pants around my ankles,
crying like a baby.Copy !req
464. The whole team laughed at me.
It was awful.Copy !req
465. See, I knew I shouldn't have
told you that story.Copy !req
466. Come on. We'll go in together.Copy !req
467. Uh-uh.
(laughing):
Come on.Copy !req
468. Oh, hell.Copy !req
469. Yeah.Copy !req
470. Okay. Okay.Copy !req
471. It's locked!
It's locked!Copy !req
472. It's a push.
Okay.Copy !req
473. Okay, speaking
of bull crap stories,Copy !req
474. you did not sleep with Madonna
right before we started dating.Copy !req
475. I slept with Taylor Dayne.
Same thing.Copy !req
476. Hey, look at us, huh?Copy !req
477. We, uh, repaired a car.
Mm-hmm.Copy !req
478. We walked through
the desert.Copy !req
479. Got your weird
Grandma sewing thing.
Yay!Copy !req
480. All in time for me
to make my date.
Right. Your date.Copy !req
481. Okay, you asked
for bullet points.Copy !req
482. Here they are.Copy !req
483. Okay, good.
Be a real person.Copy !req
484. Got it. Be a real person.
Ask questions.Copy !req
485. Listen to her answers.Copy !req
486. Right.
And if you wantCopy !req
487. extra credit, give her a call
after the dateCopy !req
488. and tell her
you had a nice time.Copy !req
489. I went all the way
to the desert for that?Copy !req
490. (laughs)
Get out.Copy !req
491. Okay. Thank you.Copy !req
492. Yeah.Copy !req
493. Oh. Fist grab.
Weird.Copy !req
494. That feels right.Copy !req
495. Have a good night.Copy !req
496. Yup. You, too.Copy !req
497. (laughs)
Uh, dude, we are crushing
this sex pals thing.Copy !req
498. Thank you, Susan Boyle.Copy !req
499. Yeah, it's not over yet.
You ready to go again?Copy !req
500. (loud explosion)
What the hell was that?Copy !req
501. Wait. What is that?
Is that a bat?Copy !req
502. I definitely
don't play baseball.Copy !req
503. Did you bring that from home?Copy !req
504. What are they doing?
Oh, that's just Jordan
and his girlfriend.Copy !req
505. She's a junior,
so... go Jordan.Copy !req
506. That is the stupidest
thing I've ever seen.Copy !req
507. They do everything
together.Copy !req
508. (laughter)
You sure?Copy !req
509. Oh!Copy !req
510. Ugh. Damn it.Copy !req
511. What?Copy !req
512. I'm thinking about Jordan
and his girlfriend,Copy !req
513. and I'm thinking maybe I might
want what those dorks have—Copy !req
514. a real relationship.Copy !req
515. That's all I've ever wanted.Copy !req
516. You know, we'd be a real,
normal family.Copy !req
517. Uh, but.. what if
things end badlyCopy !req
518. like every relationship
I've ever had?Copy !req
519. And what if we end up
hating each other,Copy !req
520. like every relationship
I've ever had?Copy !req
521. We'd be one of those families
that drops their kid offCopy !req
522. at each other's houses without
saying a word to each other.Copy !req
523. We can't do
this, can we?Copy !req
524. So... friends
without benefits?Copy !req
525. Friends without
benefits.Copy !req
526. One last benefit
wouldn't hurt anyone.Copy !req
527. I'm gonna
obliterate you.
Oh, good.Copy !req
528. You know, a wise woman told me
to call someoneCopy !req
529. to let 'em know I had
a nice time with them, so, uh,Copy !req
530. this is me calling to say
that I had a good time with you.Copy !req
531. You know my number.Copy !req
532. How did your date go?Copy !req
533. It was okay. I mean...Copy !req
534. I don't think I found my Amal.Copy !req
535. I'm sorry it didn't work out.Copy !req
536. It's all right.Copy !req
537. My Amal is out there somewhere.Copy !req
538. Hope you don't mind,
I used your shampoo.Copy !req
539. And your conditioner,Copy !req
540. and your volumizer,
and your finishing rinse.Copy !req
541. Heidi's at your place?Copy !req
542. Oh, just 'cause
she's not my AmalCopy !req
543. doesn't mean
she can't be my Taylor Dayne.Copy !req
544. Oh, my God.
Bye.Copy !req
545. Who were you on the phone with?
My grandma.Copy !req