1. Go ahead, order anything
you want— it's on the house.
Copy !req
2. Because you are the house.
Copy !req
3. That's right,
I'm the house, baby.
Copy !req
4. Look at us.
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5. Yeah, it's been two months,
Copy !req
6. and you still get
a kick out of me.
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7. We'll see how I'm
feeling at three.
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8. Yes, son?
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9. Ooh, nice jacket.
Mm-hmm.
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10. Dressin' for successin'.
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11. Rhymin' like a...
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12. I don't have it.
Copy !req
13. Anyway, we need to talk
about birthday party.
Copy !req
14. Oh, Gerald.
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15. I had no idea.
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16. How old are you turning?
Wait, no, no, no, no.
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17. Don't tell me.
I'm great at this.
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18. Uh...
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19. Ooh.
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20. Taking a while.
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21. Forget it.
You know what?
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22. Your unusual man-boy quality
is making it impossible.
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23. I know, right?
Look it.
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24. He-he's got a baby face,
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25. yet a 5:00 shadow.
Mm-hmm.
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26. That's it.
Man, boy, man, boy, man...
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27. Oh!
Yeah, this is fun.
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28. Yeah, but it's
actually not my birthday.
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29. It's my dad's.
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30. On Saturday,
he's turning...
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31. 50, 50.
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32. Guilty. Big five-O.
Copy !req
33. It's a big one.
Wait, it is your
50th birthday?
Copy !req
34. Mm-hmm
Why didn't you tell...?
Copy !req
35. Oh, wait, sorry.
Copy !req
36. Hello?
Copy !req
37. Oh, wait, it's the woman
Olivia Pope is based off of.
Copy !req
38. Excuse me, I have to take it.
Copy !req
39. Hi, Judy.
How can I help?
Copy !req
40. I'm confused.
Copy !req
41. Oh, that's Kerry Washington's
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42. character on Scandal.
Copy !req
43. Yeah, thank you.
Uh, no.
Copy !req
44. Aren't you turning 51?
Copy !req
45. You know who's 50?
Robert Downey Jr.
Copy !req
46. And he pulls the "Jr." off
like it's nothing.
Copy !req
47. You know who's 51?
Copy !req
48. The guy who voices Gollum,
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49. Wanda Sykes,
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50. Bernie Sanders.
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51. I'm just getting
used to being 50.
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52. I'm not ready to be fifty...
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53. Babe?
What, babe?
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54. I am throwing you
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55. a 50th birthday party
to end all parties.
Copy !req
56. No.
It is not up for discussion.
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57. I'll come back to plan,
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58. but first I got to go
meet Jada for sushi.
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59. Okay. Mm!
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60. Bye, Gerald.
Bye, Catherine.
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61. Jada Pinkett Smith.
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62. Do all fancy black women
know each other?
Pretty much.
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63. You two are right on the line
right about now.
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64. How long have you
been sitting there?
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65. Long enough
to hear you're having
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66. a 50th birthday party,
which confused me,
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67. because didn't we
do that a year ago?
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68. But you didn't
know me back then,
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69. so now I get to go.
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70. Yeah.
At least this time, we can
Copy !req
71. do it without
that hairy donut on your face.
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72. Oh, come on, that goatee
looked good and you know it.
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73. Yeah, it did.
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74. You totally pulled it off.
Copy !req
75. Play "Happy Birthday."
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76. Morning, sexy.
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77. Hi.
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78. Is today your birthday?
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79. It is.
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80. Really?
Oh, I could've sworn...
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81. Yeah, it's okay, Katie,
sometimes...
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82. Rachel.
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83. Right.
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84. Yes.
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85. Names.
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86. Thanks for coming down.
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87. I'm always here.
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88. My boyfriend's out of town
Copy !req
89. playing a gig this weekend.
Oh.
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90. Oh, a "gig" is another word
for a concert.
Copy !req
91. And I know that because
my boyfriend is in the biz.
Copy !req
92. The "biz" meaning
the music bus...
Copy !req
93. We get it— your
boyfriend's a musician.
Copy !req
94. Okay, so this is
what I'm thinking.
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95. I'm thinking we have a big
blowout here at the restaurant.
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96. Shotgun, dessert! I call
dessert. Dibs! No backsies!
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97. Ah, ah, I got dessert.
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98. Sorry, I thought dessert
was gonna go quick.
Copy !req
99. No, no, this is exciting.
It's exciting.
Copy !req
100. So let's plan the party
for maybe...
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101. Hey, hey, hey.
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102. What are you three doing
hanging around here for...?
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103. Are you guys planning
a party for me?
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104. If so, don't, 'cause
last year was a hot mess.
Copy !req
105. Now, if you want
to celebrate me—
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106. and I understand the draw—
Copy !req
107. then a nice family dinner
would hit the spot.
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108. Shotgun, dessert!
You're doing dessert.
No one else wants it.
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109. Okay.
Okay, family dinner.
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110. Well, I know Florida's not right
around the corner,
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111. but what do you think—
maybe we should invite your dad?
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112. Oh...
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113. That's not necessary.
He's a busy man.
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114. I-I'd never ask him
to come all the way out here
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115. for a silly birthday party.
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116. Great news,
I convinced my dad
Copy !req
117. to fly out
for my big birthday party.
You have a dad?
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118. I always just imagined he
hatched from a leather egg.
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119. Aw, man, we wore the
same beard to work.
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120. Ooh!
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121. What is going on
with that thing?
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122. I feel like there's less there
than there was yesterday.
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123. Can't believe it— my dad's
gonna finally see my restaurant.
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124. You guys are gonna love
Jack Martino.
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125. I mean, if I was
ever gonna be a dad,
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126. I'd want to be a dad
just like him.
Copy !req
127. But it's totally hypothetical,
Copy !req
128. 'cause I'm never
gonna have a son, right?
Copy !req
129. Okay, once we send
in our application,
Copy !req
130. if it's approved,
CoParentPro will be
Copy !req
131. available on the App Store.
Copy !req
132. Ah, we're gonna be
like Shazam!
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133. Yeah, if God is good,
we'll be like Shazam.
Yeah.
Copy !req
134. All right, all I got
to do is hit send.
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135. I can't do it.
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136. You do it. Do it?
Copy !req
137. Nah, I can't do it.
Do it.
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138. Just do it.
I have bad juju.
Copy !req
139. Edie, you do it.
Copy !req
140. Press send.
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141. Ooh, let's do this.
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142. Ah, go for it.
Ah, okay.
Copy !req
143. Send.
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144. Ah, yes!
Ah, yay!
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145. Good job, bobo.
Oh, man.
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146. Who would've ever thought the
three of us would end up here?
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147. Listen, I'm really not
supposed to tell you this,
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148. but you can buy this exact
phone on the Internet
Copy !req
149. for, like, 50 bucks less.
Copy !req
150. Comes with a free case, so
Copy !req
151. I mean, do you what you want,
Copy !req
152. but don't be an idiot.
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153. My baby mama, Vanessa.
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154. We were on the
same cell phone
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155. sales force for
over a year.
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156. And then one fateful night,
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157. I caught her at her
absolute lowest point.
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158. Yeah.
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159. Four hard lemonades
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160. and one defective
organic condom later,
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161. and booyah!
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162. I'm a 24-year-old
cell phone salesman
Copy !req
163. with a half-Cuban baby
that looks nothing like me.
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164. It's a tale as old as time.
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165. I mean, she says
we're just friends
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166. raising a kid together,
but I think
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167. we both know what
that means, don't we?
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168. I'll just go to the mall.
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169. All right.
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170. Hey.
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171. Hey, what's up?
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172. Are you hungry?
Ah, nah.
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173. I just had a huge
sandwich for lunch.
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174. It was like the size of my arm—
you should've seen it!
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175. Oh, I would've loved to
have seen that sandwich.
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176. You maybe want to eat
dinner with me tonight?
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177. Sure. Will your mom watch Edie?
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178. Yeah, yeah, she's
just gonna stay in
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179. and hang out
with her friends.
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180. Oh, you mean those weird
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181. divorced ladies
she's always with?
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182. Yeah.
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183. They're the worst.
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184. Yeah.
Copy !req
185. And then she said she'd come.
Copy !req
186. I knew it! I knew it!
Copy !req
187. Thank you, guys.
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188. Man, see, this is why
you're my best friends.
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189. Oh, sweetie,
this is so great.
Copy !req
190. Not that you just called
Anna, Deb and Marsha
Copy !req
191. your best friends,
but the part
Copy !req
192. about Vanessa!
Thanks.
Copy !req
193. So, any tips for tonight or...?
Copy !req
194. Wear the olive-green
turtleneck I knit you.
Copy !req
195. Let your neck be
a sexy surprise for later.
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196. Yes, you will look
like Javier Bardem
Copy !req
197. in that turtleneck!
Yeah, really?
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198. Oh, absolutely, yeah.
You should grow bangs.
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199. You know,
sometimes I wonder like,
Copy !req
200. maybe I should have
some friends my own age
Copy !req
201. and gender giving me
dating advice,
Copy !req
202. or like a real male influence.
Copy !req
203. Then you guys hit me with that
Copy !req
204. Bardem turtleneck rec
Copy !req
205. and I realized I'm right
where I'm supposed to be.
Copy !req
206. Thanks, guys.
Copy !req
207. It takes a village, ladies.
Mm-hmm.
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208. Takes a village.
Copy !req
209. Annelise, does this
table look okay?
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210. I mean, are the
forks crooked?
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211. I just...
Copy !req
212. And would you describe these
candles as moss green?
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213. Because his eyes are moss
green, and obviously...
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214. Catherine, I saw you give
a TED Talk to 5,000 people.
Copy !req
215. This candle business
is beneath you.
Copy !req
216. I know, I just... I really
want tonight to be perfect.
Copy !req
217. Can I tell you
something stupid?
Copy !req
218. If you must, but, to be
honest, my days are filled
Copy !req
219. with hearing stupid things,
Copy !req
220. and I was hoping a woman
of your stature would...
Copy !req
221. I am so into Jimmy.
Copy !req
222. Ah, damn it.
No, check that.
Copy !req
223. I am more than into him.
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224. I... am falling in...
Copy !req
225. Whoa, whoa, whoa, before
you complete that sentence,
Copy !req
226. you might want to pump
the brakes a few times.
Copy !req
227. I don't. When it comes to men,
I always pump the brakes.
Copy !req
228. That's what I do: I run
a Fortune 500 company,
Copy !req
229. I buy yachts, and I pump, pump,
pump those damn brakes.
Copy !req
230. "Yachts" with an S?
Like, multiple yachts?
Copy !req
231. Tonight, I am gonna gather
up some liquid courage,
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232. make a toast,
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233. and tell him that I love him.
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234. I cannot believe
I bought your book.
Copy !req
235. Look, no-no matter what happens,
I can promise you one thing:
Copy !req
236. this party will be better
than last year's.
Copy !req
237. The problem
with sitcoms nowadays
Copy !req
238. is that the dads are so ugly.
Copy !req
239. Who wants a kiss?
Copy !req
240. Now this, this is a party.
Copy !req
241. You got balloons, you got
a vodka luge, Alan Thicke...
Copy !req
242. How'd Alan Thicke get in?
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243. Dad, you made it!
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244. What do you think?
This the restaurant?
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245. Yeah, it's my baby.
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246. A few windows might be nice.
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247. But I guess the kids all
like it dim nowadays.
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248. Yeah.
Who are all these people?
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249. Oh, just 75
of my closest friends.
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250. All these 20-
year-old girls,
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251. these... these are
your closest friends?
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252. Yeah,
what do you think?
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253. Oh, here.
Here, try this.
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254. Meatball marinara,
like we like.
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255. Mmm, yeah.
How is it?
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256. Yech.
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257. You didn't get your
mother's sauce,
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258. but you got her legs.
Uh, you're right.
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259. There's something
wrong with this sauce!
Copy !req
260. And he-he's right, there's not
enough light in this place!
Copy !req
261. Turn some lights on!
The place looks horrible.
Copy !req
262. The place looks beautiful.
Copy !req
263. Are those candles
the exact color of my eyes?
Copy !req
264. I don't know, are they?
Copy !req
265. Oh, hey, guys, I'm gonna
join you in just a second.
Copy !req
266. I got to keep working
on those crème brûlées.
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267. Kook.
Copy !req
268. Okay, um, everyone,
I'd like to say a few words.
Copy !req
269. Holy crap.
Copy !req
270. Our app just got approved.
Copy !req
271. CoParentPro is now
in the App Store,
Copy !req
272. and 15 people have
already downloaded it.
Copy !req
273. Wow!
Copy !req
274. Yay! Congratulations!
Copy !req
275. I'll tell him later.
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276. Mmm.
Yeah.
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277. Hey, hey,
hey, you horndogs.
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278. Class it up a little bit,
act like you've been
Copy !req
279. in a nice
restaurant before.
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280. And that is why
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281. you never go ice-staking
after eating Chinese.
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282. Yeah.
You okay, G?
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283. You're sweating.
No, I'm fine.
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284. Yeah, it's just sort of, like,
an unexpectedly long way to walk
Copy !req
285. in a wool turtleneck.
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286. Ooh, breadsticks.
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287. Yeah.
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288. One for the road.
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289. Vanessa?
Tad?
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290. I thought I
was never gonna see you again
Copy !req
291. after that night
at the foam party.
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292. Oh, my God.
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293. You remember
all the foam?
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294. It was so wet.
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295. It was great.
It was...
You okay, G?
Copy !req
296. I'm fine.
You need help?
Copy !req
297. No, okay.
Okay, here.
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298. It's so hot!
Oh, God!
Copy !req
299. What's up, dude? Gerald.
Hey.
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300. How you doing? Yeah.
Pleasure.
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301. Pleasure to meet you, man.
Yeah, yeah.
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302. Cool. Oh.
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303. Uh...
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304. It's, uh, the cell phone
store. Excuse me.
Copy !req
305. Cool.
Copy !req
306. Hey, Derrick.
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307. Yeah, well, I-I told him
to buy it online,
Copy !req
308. but I didn't say...
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309. Come on, man, you can't
just fire me...
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310. Yeah.
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311. Yes, I'll turn in
my shirt tomorrow.
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312. Yes, I will wash it first.
Copy !req
313. This, this is where
the magic happens.
Copy !req
314. So this is the room where
they make the crap sauce, huh?
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315. He looks just like Jimmy
Copy !req
316. if you left him out in the sun
for a couple of years.
Copy !req
317. Hey, I'm Ravi,
Jimmy's head chef.
Copy !req
318. We've heard so
much about you.
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319. You talk about your family
to your staff? Good God.
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320. I bet they have a good time
pretending to care about that.
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321. What do you
do for a living, Jack?
Copy !req
322. You a, uh, insult comic?
Copy !req
323. I own a lawn
mower company.
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324. Oh, that's a...
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325. I used to have a lawn mower.
Copy !req
326. Dad, Annelise used
to have a lawn mower.
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327. I met my wife
Copy !req
328. selling her a lawn mower.
Copy !req
329. Linda, may she rest in peace.
Copy !req
330. Jimmy's mother and I
were married 50 years.
Copy !req
331. What do you
think, Jimmy?
Copy !req
332. You think you could hunker
down for five decades
Copy !req
333. with one of those
playmates out there?
Copy !req
334. You had a pretty
strong connection
Copy !req
335. with Miss October,
right, Ji...?
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336. I'm gonna have
another Scotch.
Copy !req
337. Bye.
Copy !req
338. He's just busting balls.
He's from another time.
Copy !req
339. That's... that's how they
expressed love back then.
Copy !req
340. Now I kind of wish Jimmy
was born from a leather egg.
Copy !req
341. Oh, quick, sit.
Copy !req
342. I-I'm watching
the movie My Life
Copy !req
343. with a pre Birdman
Michael Keaton,
Copy !req
344. and I'm gonna see if I can
cry so hard I get abs.
Copy !req
345. Mom, I want to meet my dad.
Copy !req
346. It's time, Mom.
I need to meet him.
Copy !req
347. Gerald, uh, I've always said
if you ever decided
Copy !req
348. you wanted to meet your father,
I would support you.
Copy !req
349. I know, and I really
appreciate...
Copy !req
350. I lied.
Oh.
Copy !req
351. I am extremely against it.
Copy !req
352. Jimmy Martino is a vapid
shell of a man.
Copy !req
353. Don't get me wrong,
it's a stunning shell.
Copy !req
354. Yeah, God.
Good for you, Mom.
Copy !req
355. Thanks, I know.
Copy !req
356. But, Gerald, beneath that shell,
there's nothing there—
Copy !req
357. just an abyss of emptiness
and self-obsession—
Copy !req
358. and I just don't want
to see you get hurt.
Copy !req
359. Trust me on this.
Copy !req
360. I want to walk out dramatically
to punctuate this,
Copy !req
361. but I also want to see
the end of the movie,
Copy !req
362. so sit, sit, sit, sit.
Yeah.
Copy !req
363. You all right?
Copy !req
364. You expecting a call?
Copy !req
365. Nah, not really.
Copy !req
366. Um...
Copy !req
367. Excuse me, everybody.
Copy !req
368. Let's try take two
at this toast.
Copy !req
369. Jimmy, um...
Copy !req
370. I just wanted
to tell you that...
Copy !req
371. Your brûlées are burning.
Copy !req
372. What the...? No!
I set an alarm!
Copy !req
373. Oh, no, I DVR'd a PBS
documentary called Alarm.
Copy !req
374. That looks good.
Copy !req
375. They're on fire.
Ugh!
Copy !req
376. Okay, uh, right, right.
Copy !req
377. I...
Wait for me to come back!
Copy !req
378. I don't want
to miss the speech!
Copy !req
379. Sorry, I feel like
you keep getting interrupted.
Copy !req
380. Also, can I borrow
a million dollars?
Copy !req
381. Another Old Fashioned,
please?
Copy !req
382. Sure.
Copy !req
383. Hey, Dad, isn't that good?
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384. We make a mean
Old Fashioned, huh?
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385. Yeah.
I think I'm gonna take off.
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386. What? You just got here.
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387. The cake's gonna come out
in five minutes.
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388. Yeah, but I'm
on Eastern time,
Copy !req
389. and you have a lot of people
here to keep you company.
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390. Come to the hotel tomorrow.
Copy !req
391. We'll have lunch, catch up.
Copy !req
392. Is it that hard, Dad?
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393. What?
Copy !req
394. I opened my restaurant.
Copy !req
395. It's successful.
I'm successful.
Copy !req
396. Is it that hard to say
one nice thing to me?
Copy !req
397. You're a grown man—
am I supposed to hit you
Copy !req
398. with a bunch of compliments?
Copy !req
399. No, but one would be nice.
Copy !req
400. I don't know what to say.
Copy !req
401. What am I supposed
to be proud of?
Copy !req
402. These celebrities,
who hardly know you,
Copy !req
403. they're here for
the free crab cakes?
Copy !req
404. Or all these women
that you sleep with
Copy !req
405. and never get to know
their last names?
Copy !req
406. Is that what I'm
supposed to be proud of?
Copy !req
407. And that you are
a 50-year-old man
who has to throw
Copy !req
408. his own birthday party
because no one else will?
Copy !req
409. You know, I make
excuses for you.
Copy !req
410. Takes you two decades
to come visit me,
Copy !req
411. and you know what I say?
I say "he can't travel."
Copy !req
412. Or "he's busy."
Copy !req
413. And when you act like a dick,
Copy !req
414. I say "it's 'cause
he's old school."
Copy !req
415. Yeah, an old-school dick.
Copy !req
416. Bye, Jimmy.
Yeah. Good-bye.
Copy !req
417. Hey, do me a favor.
Copy !req
418. Don't come back for
another 20 years, huh?
Copy !req
419. Done!
Copy !req
420. Don't be sad.
Copy !req
421. The father-son dynamic
is... complicated.
Copy !req
422. Everything okay?
Copy !req
423. Yeah.
Copy !req
424. I've been waiting for my dad
to call all night.
Copy !req
425. Mm.
Copy !req
426. We had a big fight
at my birthday last year,
Copy !req
427. and we haven't spoken since.
Copy !req
428. Why didn't you tell me?
Copy !req
429. Vanity.
Copy !req
430. I'm not well, Catherine.
Copy !req
431. You should know that.
Copy !req
432. Also, I'm 51 today.
Copy !req
433. Not 50.
What?
Copy !req
434. Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
435. Still get a kick out of me?
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436. Mm...
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437. Yeah, of course I do.
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438. I really do, Jimmy.
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439. In fact, tonight,
at this party...
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440. I wanted to celebrate your
birthday, of course, but...
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441. I also really wanted
to tell you something...
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442. Damn it!
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443. What the hell's
going on out here?
Hey, guys...
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444. So, these didn't turn out
exactly as I had hoped.
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445. But I think if you scrape
off the burnt top layer
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446. and don't eat the
uncooked bottom layer,
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447. that the middle
is... decent.
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448. It's okay.
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449. We have plenty of desserts
in the fridge. Ravi...
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450. No! No, no, no!
It's not about the dessert,
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451. it's about what the
dessert represents.
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452. Beneath the caramel shell,
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453. there are lots
and lots of layers.
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454. It was supposed
to be a metaphor.
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455. And an apology.
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456. For what?
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457. For telling Gerald
not to find you.
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458. I told him that you
were empty inside.
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459. And that beneath your shell,
there was nothing.
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460. But I was wrong.
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461. Beneath your shell,
you are full of
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462. a surprisingly
rich, creamy,
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463. custard, and we're all
better for having eaten it.
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464. Oh! This is getting
away from me.
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465. What I'm trying
to say is...
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466. I'm sorry.
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467. I'm sorry I kept the two of you
apart for so long.
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468. So... these
crème brûlées... are me?
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469. They were supposed to be.
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470. Thank you.
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471. I'm gonna...
pump the brakes.
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472. I think this is gonna
taste really good,
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473. you know, once,
uh... once I cut...
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474. through.
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475. Hey, some Russian model
is asking after you?
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476. Nastasia or Nastaya
or Nastenka?
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477. That doesn't really help—
I know a Nastasia,
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478. a Nastaya and a Nastenka.
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479. I think my life is empty.
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480. Think my dad's right.
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481. Jimmy... look, it doesn't
matter what your dad thinks.
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482. And it doesn't matter
what I think.
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483. It only matters
what you think.
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484. But why-why don't you just
tell me what you think,
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485. to guide
what I should think.
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486. I think you should
shave that goatee.
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487. Just because you can
pull it off,
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488. doesn't mean you should.
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489. Gluten-free pappardelle.
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490. Mmm. Ravi, delicious.
What's the secret?
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491. Gluten. Tons of gluten.
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492. It's basically nothing
but gluten.
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493. Hi.
Hey. Kid, we're closed.
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494. Uh, my name's Gerald.
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495. I have... something pretty
important to tell you.
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496. Hey, Dad...
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497. uh, I got something pretty
important to tell you.
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498. Oh, yeah? What?
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499. Wanted you to be
the first to know
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500. that I'm gonna
propose to Vanessa.
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501. You are?
I love her.
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502. And I know that
it's fast and I...
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503. I know you think
it's probably...
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504. It doesn't matter what I think.
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505. It matters what you think.
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506. Can you at least
tell me what you think
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507. to sort of guide me
on what to think?
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508. I think it's incredible.
Yeah?
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509. Congratulations.
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510. Oh! My dad!
Oh! Good!
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511. Hey, Dad!
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512. Who's this?
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513. Yeah...
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514. I understand.
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515. Y-Yeah, yeah.
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516. My dad died.
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517. What?
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518. Hey, guys, great news!
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519. If you chip off the ash,
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520. the crème brûlée's
really not half bad.
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521. Geez, who died?
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